Love + Sex Archives

breakups

Is it Okay To Write an Apology Letter To an Ex? 10 Queers Weigh In

The concept of the Breakup Apology Letter is a controversial one! Where do you land?

the team

Oct 13, 2025

Vanessa's wedding engagement, featuring a close-up of two hands with rings on a piece of wood

lesbian weddings

Blush and Bashful: I’m Writing a Lesbian Wedding Column and You’re Invited

Welcome to Blush & Bashful, a new biweekly column about planning a queer wedding.

Vanessa

—

Jan 19, 2023

Against a red background, there is a stack of white KN95 masks, a COVID vaccine card, a rapid covid test, red leather cuffs, a red leather blindfold, two black butt plugs, and a black ball gag.

sex

How I’m Navigating Play Parties as a Disabled, Immunocompromised Kinkster

I knew they taught about safety in BDSM culture, and I assumed that this ethic would carry through in their COVID safety. I was wrong.

Jade T. Perry

—

Jan 18, 2023

A woman with a backpack on a mountain, hiking away.

relationships

You Need Help: You Fat-Shamed Your Beautiful Girlfriend

If your girlfriend wrote into this column with this story, I would tell her she should break up with you.

Heather Hogan

—

Jan 17, 2023

A white woman with red hair lies on her back on a bed with blue sheets. She's wearing a pink tank top, grey sweatpants with white stars, orange leopard print socks, and a white bandana tied around her head. She touches her chin, smiles, and looks at two sex toys on the bed to her right: a black "rabbit" vibrator and a pink dildo.

sex toys

How to Shop for Accessible Sex Toys When You Live With Chronic Pain

Living with chronic pain has taught me how to help myself and others achieve pleasure using accessible sex toys.

Carly S.

—

Jan 12, 2023

A couple, one with long dark hair and eyeliner, and another with glasses and short blonde hair who is kissing the knuckles of the other person.

dating

You Need Help: How Do I Get Back Into Dating at Age 54?

As a culture, we spend a lot of time talking about all of the ways that dating can suck; it becomes easy to forget how fun it can actually be!

Darcy

—

Jan 10, 2023

Against a black background, yellow text reads, "S - stone" on the left side of the image. On the right, there is a white and teal stencil of Leslie Feinberg, a masculine-presenting person with short hair and a serious expression. The top of Leslie's button-up shirt and tie is visible.

sex

The Gay B C’s of Sex: S Is for Stone

Slick back your hair and cuff those sleeves — we’re heading back to the 1940s and ’50s.

Ro White

—

Jan 5, 2023

a sad woman sitting on a sofa with a mug of tea looking depressed and alone

relationships

You Need Help: I Feel Like I’m My Girlfriend’s Second Choice

I want you to start 2023 feeling like your own number-one pick. That way, when the right person comes along, you’ll be ready and confident to be her number-one pick,…

Vanessa

—

Jan 3, 2023

lesbian weddings

Some Things I Didn’t Expect When Planning My Lesbian Wedding

2. I’m in not infrequent contact with a woman named Daphne who is renting me a Fancy Portable Toilet Trailer with air conditioning.

Vanessa

—

Jan 3, 2023

Sex Toy Reviews

Do You Love Porn and the Toy Story Franchise? Well, I Have Some Great News!

You've got a friend IN me?

Drew Burnett Gregory

Sex Toy Story: An animated butt plug looks sad

movie reviews

The Vesper Is a Vibrator Doubling as a Necklace Doubling as the Wingman I Didn’t Know I Needed

The whole vibrator-as-necklace thing might seem gimmicky, but the Vesper genuinely looks like a decent piece of androgynous jewelry.

Guest

—

Jun 8, 2023

7 Sex Toys for Fat, Queer Sex and Masturbation

As fat folks, we have to get creative in the bedroom. Fortunately, there are plenty of toys that can help you have your best fat, queer sex with yourself or with…

Kelly J.

—

Jun 5, 2023

The Roslyn Bodysuit Harness and the B.Cush Made Me Feel Hot and Horny

I took the advice of wise strappers before me and wore the harness and b.cush around the house for a while.

Guest

—

May 18, 2023

Meet the Proud Pervs Behind Bedroom Besties, a New Gender-Inclusive Sex Toy Company

Bedroom Besties saw a gap in sex toy marketing. “We realized we could fill that hole — pun fully intended.”

Ro White

—

May 15, 2023

How We Have Lesbian Sex

two women lying in bed with heads on stomach

sex

Lesbian Sex: Your 15 Favorite Ways To Have It

Riese

Mar 1, 2024

SEX

13 Reasons Women In Lesbian Relationships Aren’t Having (More) Sex

“Lesbian bed death” does happen, and many lesbians feel they’re not having enough sex. But…

Riese

—

Jul 28, 2023
SEX

Is Period Sex The Ultimate Lesbian Sexual Indicator?

People who want to have period sex have more and varied sex more often and…

Ryan Yates

—

Feb 8, 2016
RELATIONSHIPS

You Need Help: Is She “The One”?

HOW WILL YOU EVER KNOW?

Ryan Yates

—

Aug 24, 2015
SEX

87% Of Queer Women Are Into Porn or Erotica, But Not All Of It Is Lesbionic

Our latest round of results from the 2015 Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey is all about…

Riese

—

Jun 18, 2015
SEX

Here’s The Salacious Sex Statistics On Queer Women In Non-monogamous vs. Monogamous Relationships

Everything you ever wanted to know about the sex lives of the monogamous, non-monogamous, and…

Riese

—

Jun 9, 2015
SEX

When Did You Do It For The First Time and How Many People Have You Done It With, Huh?

Oh you know, just the answers to everybody’s favorite two questions ever.

Riese

—

May 19, 2015
SEX

Women’s Best Bet For A Synced-Up Sex Schedule Is Lesbianism

A new survey finds that men and women like having sex at totally different times…

Riese

—

May 12, 2015
HEALTH

Why You Should Care About Lesbian Safer Sex (And What To Do About It)

If sexual health isn’t relevant to your interests yet, it should be.

Christy Duan

—

May 5, 2015
SEX

The 100 Most Ambitious Places You’ve Had Sex

“Lost in the Dole pineapple maze in Hawaii.” “On my back in a Corolla on…

Riese

—

Apr 30, 2015
SEX

Lesbian Sex Gets Women Off At Astronomical Rates, Our Sex Survey Shows

High femmes, women over 35 and people in relationships orgasm a whole lot during sex…

Riese

—

Apr 29, 2015
QUEER FASHION

Here Are Your Very Queer Underwear-Wearing Habits

The Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey knows what you’ve got on underneath those jeans, and how…

Riese

—

Apr 24, 2015
SEX

41 Feelings You Had About Scissoring

How many of you scissor on the regular? And how many of you remain convinced…

Riese

—

Apr 19, 2015
SEX

50 Fascinating Things You Really Wanted Us To Know About How You Have Sex

“I say a lot of things about myself during sex that I would not say…

Riese

—

Apr 14, 2015
SEX

Queer Women Masturbate More Than Straight Women, Our Sex Survey Says

On the masturbation practices of the 8,566 humans who took our Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey…

Riese

—

Apr 13, 2015
SEX

The 100 Gayest Places You’ve Had Sex

” The back of a Jeep next to a beaver pond. That’s right. Beaver. Pond.…

Riese

—

Apr 8, 2015
SEX

How Often Do Queer Women Have Sex?

We’ve got all the numbers on how often you have sex from our Ultimate Lesbian…

Riese

—

Mar 30, 2015
SEX

26 Bits Of Solid Sex Advice You Gave Us On Autostraddle’s Lesbosexy Sex Survey

20. WASH YOUR HANDS IF YOU ATE BUFFALO WINGS BEFORE GETTING LAID, OMG.

Ryan Yates

—

Feb 24, 2015

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Love + Sex

Sex Toy Reviews

Do You Love Porn and the Toy Story Franchise? Well, I Have Some Great News!

The Vesper Is a Vibrator Doubling as a Necklace Doubling as the Wingman I Didn’t Know I Needed

7 Sex Toys for Fat, Queer Sex and Masturbation

The Roslyn Bodysuit Harness and the B.Cush Made Me Feel Hot and Horny

Meet the Proud Pervs Behind Bedroom Besties, a New Gender-Inclusive Sex Toy Company

How We Have Lesbian Sex

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