I just want the good [merch] life
I got [a sale code for] it
And now I’m just like I
Wanna stay [in my house] all night
Dance to songs I know by heart
Til [my package from HelloMerch comes] home
Get [the shirts] alone
Tell [them] what [I] want to do
[Where I want them shown]
[We’ll] get high
[We’ll] go deep
Drink some water
Get some sleep
If it feels good [buy] it
If it feels good, awh yeah
If it feels good [wear] it
If it feels good
Do it
If it feels good [pin] it
If it feels good, awh yeah
If it feels good, [snuggle into] it
If it feels good
I love [to be] observant
[Cause this code I deserve it]
[Might be calling my new shirts] baby
But only [cause they complete] me
[Look in the mirror and] say
[I look more than] ok
[I love myself so much it’s] stupid
[I love the way I] do it
Oh [I look] so fly
So [good I’m no longer shy]
Come to me
We don’t have a plan at all
But I don’t think it’s dumb to be
Reckless
Got a [shopping] list
Of the things I [want, a few]
Cancel all my plans
So I can
[Buy everything and]
[Say woo woo]
If it feels good [buy] it
If it feels good, awh yeah
If it feels good [wear] it
If it feels good do it
If it feels good [pin] it
If it feels good, awh yeah
If it feels good, [snuggle into] it
If it feels good
‘Cause I wasted so much time
[Buying] things that I don’t like
[I won’t spend the rest of my] life
Playing a game of hide and seek
Can I get a peek
What’s underneath 
I’m kind of hoping you’re a freak
Like me
I’m kind of hoping you’re a freak
Like me
If it feels good [buy] it
If it feels good, awh yeah
If it feels good [wear] it
If it feels good do it
If it feels good [pin] it
If it feels good, awh yeah
If it feels good, [snuggle into] it
If it feels good
I just want
I just want the [merch] life
— Julia Nunes’ “Feels Good,” only slightly modified.
You might be wondering why I just sang that song to you, dear A+ Members. The truth is I am trying to create enough content so that the secret code I am about to reveal to you is… in fact… a SECRET and doesn’t show above the A+ post cutoff! First the deals, then the code, my beautiful angels!

All Enamel Pins $10 $7.50

1. You Do You Pin
2. They/Them Pin
3. She/Her Pin
4. Scissoring Pin
5. Read a Fucking Book Pin
6. Misandrist Pin
7. Lavender Menace Pin
8. Gender Traitor Pin
9. Gal Pal Pin
10. Bi Vintage Pin
11. Angry Lesbian Pin
12. Queerdo Pin
13. Butch Please Pin

All Tees $25 $20

1. AS Long Sleeve Tee
2. Bette for Mayor Tee
3. Bi Vintage Tee
4. Dyke Drama Tee
5. Gal Pal Grey Tee
6. Lavender Menace Tee
7. Non-Binary Tee
8. Who All’s Gay Here Tee [Black or White]
9. Queer as Fuck Tee

All Sweatshirts $48 $36

1. Gal Pal Sweatshirt
2. Scissoring Sweatshirt
3. Safe Space Sweatshirt
4. Gender Traitor Sweatshirt

All  Hats $22 $16.50

1. Dykes Hat
2. Who All’s Gay Here Hat

AT LONG LAST, BEHOLD THE CODE:

Deal: 25% Off Everything in the Autostraddle Store
Dates: 12/26 – 12/31
Code: BABETOWN25

Happy holigays and a happy new queer, and thanks a bunch for being a member of A+!

You: Carol
Us: So glad you’re here, lifting you up so you can climb on mountains, etc.
Not here but also queer: Heather and Kamala!