Letter From Your Editors

Hello A+ Members!

I’m not sure who started the thing where we all tell each other that your hair looks good today — but just for your reference, this is when our hair actually looked good:

This past month has involved a lot of conversations about who we are and what we want to be in the wake of fierce competition and the flood of venture capital enabling every website besides ours to seek out and handsomely compensate LGBTQ writers. Here’s who we are and what we want to be: Yours. A site controlled by the generosity of our readers, without pop-up ads, video pre-rolls or site skins taking your attention away from our words and pictures. A site that offers more than aggregation, hot takes and takedowns, where every article we publish is wholly original and unique or else exists to create a queer space to talk about an important thing. We are so excited about the Queer Mama series and other new adventures we’re embarking upon. Usually I have more concrete and easily defined progress updates to give you, but so much of our recent talks have been pretty abstract. But our content has been especially fantastic lately, if I do say so myself!

Also, because camp is coming up, that’s been the big concrete thing we’ve been working on. It’s so soon that my office floor is already a patchwork quilt of index cards featuring the names and personalities of every lovely camper.

We hope you’ve enjoyed this month’s A+ content — the third episode of the A+ Podcast, 26 Excerpts From Laneia’s Diary, 2013, 34 Excerpts from Riese’s Diary, 2008-2014 and the A+ Bee, Issue 17 and Issue 18.  We know it’s been a little light this month, but we have quite a few things in the pipeline we think you’re really gonna enjoy!

Love,

Riese / Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

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Top 10 Most Popular Posts From March 2015

These posts were written this month and were hella popular this month.

1. “Steven Universe” and the Importance of All-Ages Queer Representation, by Mey Rude
2. 19 Things We Know About Season Three of “Orange is the New Black,” by Riese Bernard
3. This Binder is Magic: A Gushing Review of the GC2b, by Ali Osworth
4. How Often Do Queer Women Have Sex? by Riese Bernard
5. NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Will Sing To You In Bed, by Carolyn Yates
6. Top 17 Most Devastating Breakups in Lesbian Television History, by Riese Bernard and Heather Hogan
7. Annie Clark and Cara Delevingne Spotted Walking Next To Each Other Multiple Times, by Stef Schwartz
8. Listling Without Commentary: 22 Excerpts From Brutal Amazon Customer Reviews Of “The L Word,” by Riese Bernard
9. Fan Fiction Friday: 8 Femslash Writers You Should Know, by Heather Hogan
10. I’m Both an L and a T and I Don’t Want to Choose a Side, by Mey Rude

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Yvonne: I emailed Ashley Ford about writing for us and haven’t heard back. So now I feel like an awkward 9th grader who asked out their crush to the school dance
Laneia: Oh that is rough.
Riese: Have you tried writing her a note or sending her a mix tape
Yvonne: That’s next on the list
After passing her a heart shaped note during lunch
Rachel: I walk by her locker on the way to math, I can put a note in there for you if you want
Yvonne: Thank you!

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Riese: Oh damn you guys
April Fools
Is coming up
Can Alex make the website look like a buzzfeed vertical
Maybe we should announce that we’ve secured $3 million in venture funding
And tell everybody how awesome the site is gonna be now
And then be like, jk
Is that too dark
Rachel: What if we did like Cosmo’s terrible sex tips, but for lesbians
like “put a donut on his dick” level sex tips
Laneia: “put a fig on her nose”
“offer to shave her legs for her, and when she says no, shave your own head in the hallway”
Rachel: “tie her to the bed with sexy silk restraints, then write an adrienne rich poem on her stomach with liquid eyeliner and then leave the apartment. you’re teasing her!”
“surprise her for your anniversary — when she comes home, your ex-girlfriend is naked on the bed with a red bow around her neck!”
…
Rachel: how about “straight women who call their friends their girlfriends wake up to realize they have become real girlfriends overnight, to their dismay”
Laneia: Oh my god Rachel
I would love that

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Mey: Oh my gosh. So today I noticed that I suddenly got some new comments on an article I wrote three months ago about a black superhero taking over for a white one, and they were all like “ugh, this forced diversity is bullshit, no one wants it,” so I googled the article to see why suddenly people were talking about it, and this like, anti-feminism, anti-diversity guy made a 20 minute youtube video where he reads the article and just argues against it.
Maddie: O M G
“I have yet to meet a feminist who is also funny and fun”
Stef: Same
Maddie: “Maybe i am using the wrong stereotypes”
I am crying laughing
Stef: Is this accent real
Is it this guy
Mey: It’s pretty incredible, at the end he reads my author bio and asks why everyone has to always point out that they’re lesbians
I wondered if it was a fake accent too!
Stef: Damn, that is a sweet earth
Maddie: Oh wow I could really watch all 21 minutes of this
I feel like this guy is switching between different accents
Stef: wtf mate
WELL HAVE A NAP ZEN FIRE ZE MISSILES
Maddie: I would like to hear this individual’s commentary on every staff bio
Stef: Yo I want him to argue with everything i’ve ever done
Chelsey: AHHH MOW DA LAWN

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Riese: Haven’t these people ever seen a dildo
Laneia: They pretend it’s a fake cucumber

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Carmen: If someone can convince me to wear boyfriend jeans i will give them some sort of trophy
Lydia: here. I really love them! I feel like I’m a badass seventh grader… The one I never got to be!
I also feel like Jessie J in “do it like a dude” and like Ciara almost always
Rachel: I realize that these words mean real things in the clothing world but I am obsessed with “petite boyfriend jean”
Who is this tiny boyfriend
Why did you steal his jeans
He will be so sad without his miniature pants
He’s just wearing two drinking straw wrappers now
Lydia: He’s definitely in straw wrappers
With a straw wrapper belting them together

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Brittani: A few weeks ago I saw [K-Stew & Alicia C] across the street at brunch and I wanted to just yell GAL PALS at them and see what happened
Stef: Brittani I have never coveted your life so badly until this moment
Brittani: I was getting on a bus in Los Angeles if that makes the story less covetable
Stef: It does
where were they eating brunch
Brittani: Sunset Junction
Stef: of course they were

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Stef: I could write a whole article just about how stupid this Channukah House is
Rachel: This seems like something that Liz would actually love
Stef: Oh absolutely
Rachel: maybe it could be a point/counterpoint
Stef: I mean ok
I’m sure it’s delicious and fun
But also Chanukah isn’t christmas, everybody needs to calm down
There are no rules saying Jews can’t just make gingerbread houses if they feel like it
Stop trying to make Chanukah into Christmas IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

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Audrey: Apparently Gillian Anderson formally came out as bi? Is this legit? What is the world??!
Riese: Yes! She came out a few years back but has been super open about it this week specifically. It keeps coming up in here! Almost every day! Yet nobody has stepped up to write a hilarious post on this topic.
Cameron: My ex was all over it. I think it was confirmed in like… 2011, 2012? Unless they were late to the party.
Riese: She wants a lady to ask her on a date
Cameron: Maybe she’s anticipating more nerdlady attention now that x-files is coming back.
Audrey: I will volunteer as tribute to ask her on a date.
Riese: Who wants to volunteer to write an article about it though
Cameron: If you break up, you can interview her for A+.
Riese: This is my only hope of getting an article on this topic isn’t it

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Audrey: Has anyone ever had luck returning/replacing a LELO product within the time of the 1 year warranty?
Stef: I read this as lego
I was like damn, audrey
Audrey: life is a highway, ya know?

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Meet Some New Contributors!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Button and Bly, Button and Bly’s Travel Show video series

Website: buttonandbly.com
Youtube: buttonandbly
Twitter: @buttonandbly
Instagram:@buttonandbly
Facebook: buttonandbly

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Button: Honestly, I’m looking at all of these now and can’t get over the fact that there is a pig snout emoji. Just the snout. Can someone tell me why?
Bly: I would have to go with the huge smiley face emoji. I like it’s big cheesy grin and how does that not make anyone happier.

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
Button: Ice cream ones!
Bly: As a vegan I actually really enjoy just a big sandwich with lots of veggies piled on it with some hummus and hot sauce.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
Button: Geeez…One time in college, I took my girlfriend at the time and my best friend at the time out to “da club.” The two ended up hooking up in the bathroom and later I found out they’d been sexting all night which was super weird and gross.
Bly: Worst date ever…I’ve had some pretty awkward dinner dates where it ends up being like pulling teeth to keep a convo going.

What’s your favorite sex toy?
Button: A mini vibrator for fun on the go!
Bly: I’m going to have to go with a simple blindfold.

What’s your #1 turn-on?
Button: A mix of two things: confidence and humility. Those two things in combination create a jaw dropping energy to me.
Bly: My number one turn on is a girl that can hold her own in any situation.

What’s your #1 turn-off?
Button: I have absolutely no interest in gossip and speaking badly about someone, so when a girl does, I immediately know she’s not my type.
Bly: Number one turn off is someone that tries way too hard in hitting on you or comes off needy.

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Haley Jude, Queer Momma video series

Twitter: @lezgetpregnant

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
An emoji is like those smiley face things, right? I’d choose the blushing one.

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
Just one? Lunch meat is not recommended in pregnancy, so I am constantly dreaming of a smoked turkey sandwich on rye with lettuce, mayo, and mustard. Please have one sent to my hospital room as soon as I deliver.

These days it’s mostly hella sardine sandwiches with lots of greens or sauerkraut.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
I feel bad calling the offenders (a couple) out here, so let’s just say it involved taquitos, some pretty serious grooming rituals, a role play I was very much not at all into, the suburbs, and an episode of Glee.

What’s your favorite sex toy?
Forever loyal to the hitachi magic wand, despite the fact that one basically blew up on me. True story. I also think the Share is one of the most genius toys ever created.

What’s your #1 turn-on?
My own perverse imagination. Also, really good dirty talk. And delayed gratification. I’m not good at this just picking one thing thing…

What’s your #1 turn-off?
Misogyny.

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HBIC

Carmen: Someone was mad at me on twitter for calling Bessie Smith “queer” instead of “bi” and I was like IDK WHAT LABELS SHE USED OK
Rachel: Yeah, I saw
Also you did call her bi
You used the word “bisexual” several times
If anyone was wondering, that was actually the specific tweet that caused me to close tweetdeck for the day
Riese: What if we changed Rachel’s name to Rachel Kincaid Bisexual
Stef: Bessie Smith probably had all those bisexual accessories like Chelsea Stoner
Carmen: Can that be Rachel’s slack alert
When we really need to batsignal Rachel
Rachel: Fun fact, rachel evan wood bisexual already slack alerts me
Stef: I know
Rachel: Just one of the many things that we bisexuals share
Stef: That makes me so happy
Honestly Evan Rachel Wood slack alerts me too sooo
Yvonne: Rachel, HBIC (head bisexual in charge)
Riese: YES
Rachel: I assume we’re putting that on my door in the office
Intern Nikki: So you want a sign for Rachel’s door to read: Rachel, HBIC (head bisexual in charge)
Rachel: Probably my full name Rachel Kincaid
so it’s official, you know
Intern Nikki: Oh yes, of course
Rachel: My mom is gonna be real proud

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Flashback: We’ve Been April Fools For Days

This April Fools Day we announced that we were starting our own religion, Scissorism. I wrote it the evening of March 31st, so bravo to me on that one. But of course every April Fools inspires us to look back on days of yore as we try to come up with something clever for this year. Shall we begin?

Everyone is Gay, Study Finds – 2010 – The best part about this was the next day when Brandy Howard started talking to me about the study and saying that it clarified a lot of things for her and I was like Brandy that was a joke. Also I wrote “Brooke is defo going to make me delete this in the morning! Tally-ho!” in the post and she didn’t! I WON.

Lesbian Confesses Crush to Her Straight Best Friend, Is Received With Open Arms – 2011 – I love this one. It’s little and didn’t attract much attention but I think it was very subtle and quite clever.

The Dirty Truth About Bisexuals – 2012 – We thought this would be really funny and at first everybody seemed to be laughing and then it took a turn. TOO SOON, apparently.

Introducing B-Camp – 2013 – This is my favorite, I think. We started joking around about the idea of a B-Camp during a May 2013 A-Camp planning meeting a month or so before April Fools Day and were cracking each other up so much that it just snowballed. Then we asked for group input and put together this majestic and hilarious creature. I made such a beautiful graphic, but also the map Carly drew of B-Camp shouldn’t be overlooked.

Introducing Gayworld: Disney’s Newest Park Offers Dynamic and Educational Fun For The Whole Family – 2014 – Oh man we had such a hard time coming up with something last year! This was our best effort and was supposed to be a joke about gaystreaming and was kinda a bust, but it was fun for y’all to imagine someplace so wonderful could ever exist!

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Carmen’s Finger Is On The Hot Young Lesbian Pulse

Carmen: If fucking Hillary Clinton becomes president after i leave this town i swear to fucking god
Gabby: hahaha
Carmen: Do you think Hillary will tweet at me after she reads my personal essay about her
Stef: Yes
Gabby: Yes
Carmen: It’s a goal or maybe she will follow me, even better
Stef: She’ll adopt you probably
Gabby: ‘Cause we will bomb her twitter
Carmen: To keep her finger on the hot young lesbian pulse
Gabby: and Martha Stewart follows me on twitter
Carmen: Maybe she’ll pull a gaga and subtweet me
Gabby: And she’s my powerful white grandma
Carmen: Is it because you stay so fresh
I fucking love Martha since the roast
I couldn’t deal w her and Snoop
just bro’ing out
Gabby: She’ll retweet me and by default you
Carmen: What if you tweet my article, Martha RTs, then Snoop RTs, then all my dreams come true, Hillary sends me a card and drake asks me to be his beard
Gabby: and when her and Hillary and Warren get together to reenact fight scenes from Wentworth
they’ll bring you up obvs
Carmen: Crake will fly me and a couple models he’s ashamed to mention to his place
Gabby: All of that is possible Carmen
Martha’s invited
ALL OF IT
Carmen: I hope someone makes an image of this ahem
It’s like Drake and I by the pool while Gabby wheeze laughs with Martha at the bar
Hillary texting while on a pool float
Snoop exhaling from a window looking down on the scene
How did all these people end up in one fantasy
No one mind should have all this power

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Some Answers To Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us

Do you have burning questions about what the fuck is going on around here, Doris? Ask us — just use the A+ priority contact form in your sidebar. All answers here are from Riese, unless otherwise indicated.

Autostraddle baseball caps please!
We have been thinking VERY HARD about snapbacks, I’ll have you know.

The Autostraddle 100% Natural Feel-Good Good Advice Generator seems to no longer be working! I updated my server and tried it on both my cell phone and my laptop, so I don’t think the issue is on my end (but maybe it is?). Was it just a special for Autostraddle’s birthday and is too complicated to run in the archives all the time? Which would be completely understandable, but also a little bit sad. Or is it suppose to be working and something is wrong in the inter-workings of the autostraddle server interwebs? I will leave that for you to figure out. (I guess until then I have to look up my warm and fuzzy feel good queer advice the old fashioned way- search Tumblr for Laverne Cox and Audre Lorde quotes, haha)
I KNOW I’M SO SORRY it’s because we can’t afford the software that we used to make it, we just were able to use it for a free trial. :-( If you were here I would offer you a hand massage.

Please please please sell your sweet dataset about sex for a billion dollars. Make them pay so Autostraddle can have a future
Nobody has offered us any money for our dataset, everybody just wants us to give it to them for free just because? :-( WE ARE OPEN TO MONETARY OFFERS.

Hey Autostraddle Team, I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you for making a home for me. It has meant so much. (Oh, and your hair looks really good today! You beautiful, human, you!)
Thank you! I had mixed feelings about my hair today, but with your encouragement I plan on basically demolishing the entire world. You’re a beautiful human who gives me the strength to survive.

Didn’t you guys do a rating of all the different coconut waters lately? Like, was that a thing I hallucinated? I’ve been trying to find it for fifteen minutes and I’m giving up. But like, this happened, right? Someone reviewed all the different ones? ANYWAY I just tried Parrot’s Coconut Water and it is pretty good; it’d not too sugary and it has these little bits of actual coconut flesh in it and they are good to chew on? I wanted to know where it ranked on the list and I am very tired and this feels /very important/ for some reason.  ALSO ALSO this
Are you thinking of this post? 14 Alternative Lifestyle Sodas I’ve Sampled This Winter, Ranked? Unfortunately I also cannot find a thing we wrote about coconut water but I wish we had, now. Thanks for the hot
track.

~°HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE°~ Rachel just informed us that Laura’s list of coconut waters was in the last A+ Insider! IT’S RIGHT HERE. COCONUT WATERS, RANKED. Oh man we all thought we were losing our marbles because we couldn’t find it either. This will save us a lot of time in therapy.

My parents arrive in 40h55m and my GF isn’t sharing my enthusiasm (she’s French, enthusiasm doesn’t come naturally). I haven’t seen them in 18mo so I am sharing my excitement with you. ALSO just to say awesome job on making A+ more than worth it. And to tell you that one of the only things that has kept my head above the water this year has been the support of my e-BFF I met via autostraddle 5 years ago (whaaat? I’m not sure I can account for 3-4 of those years) when she asked if anyone was up for an email book club. So, thanks for that! ALSO I wanted to make sure you know of Christine and the Queens. If not, then please watch this and this. Lastly, more personal stories about how people have gone through a million paths/jobs/hard times and then found their place. Inspiration much appreciated while I pay rent with cash withdrawn on my credit card hoping the uni I taught at as an adjunct last semester pays me sometime before 2016. Happy Sunday Funday!
Oh man I remember in 2004 when I realized that those checks with a 2.9% APR your credit card sends you were ways to pay for things with credit without enduring the traditional 19% APR and not gonna lie, paid my rent that way twice. I also withdrew cash from my credit card like it was going out of style. Anyhow, I am so glad that you met your best cyberfriend via Autostraddle and I hope everything went well with your parenst business! Also, I’m definitely gonna make sure that Stef is aware of Christine and the Queens. Also I would also really like “more personal stories about how people have gone through a million paths/jobs/hard times and then found their place.” I’m gonna add it to my Business of Art fix right now!

Do you really have to come out to all people? It’s kinda exhausting
I never came out to anybody, I just started a blog. Blogs aren’t really a thing like they used to be, though.

Why do you keep referring to the Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey as being about “all women who have sex with women” instead of “all queer women”? It’s really starting to feel like as an ace person I wasn’t supposed to respond.
Because when we put up the post about the sex survey, that’s who we said it was open to — “The Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey (For Women Who Sleep With Women).” So whenever we talk about the survey results, we have to be upfront about how the survey was advertised at the data collection stage. I’m glad people who haven’t had sex or don’t want to answered it, though! It’s really good data.

Womens World Cup?
Brittani said she hasn’t received any pitches on this topic

It’s so hard to make friends when you’re 30+…
Is this why I don’t have any friends

You guys I really want to be able to listen to the scissor sisters again but they remind me of my ex too much and ??????? I love the scissor sisters! But I also loved my ex and now I don’t anymore and it makes me feel SO WEIRD. SO. WEIRD. I don’t like it but Night Work!!
Hi this is Laneia and I’m here to tell you that you CAN take back the Scissor Sisters, but you have to really, really want it. You have to listen to them ALL THE DAMN TIME from now until the day they don’t only remind you of your ex. You can speed this process along significantly by playing your fave Scissor Sisters songs while you do things that are important to you and only you, while you’re getting ready for big adventures, while you’re going on the big adventures, while you journal about your big adventures, while you pack a picnic, while you do your spring cleaning, while you try out brand new recipes on a Sunday morning, while you gather old clothes for donating, while you repaint your bedroom, etc.

Basically you’re just creating new soundtracks for new movies, using songs you’ve already heard on old soundtracks. If I can take back Bon Iver, you can take back the Scissor Sisters. And honey if you can take back the Scissor Sisters, you can damn near do anything.

HAPPY REX MANNING DAY, AS!!!!
I’M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH

I’ve decided to start a guerrilla warfare campaign wherein I bookmark all the AS affiliate links to every computer I encounter. I have just set up the amazons on my work computer where my boss often puts through massive orders and as soon as I can access her office I will also put them on that computer. Next I am going to investigate if I can bookmark things at the library. I feel like if every Straddler just started doing this to every computer, you might just become millionaires overnight? That’s my hope at least!
YOU ARE A TRUE HERO I SALUTE YOU AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO. No really everybody should do this, it’s fucking brilliant. I hope the guys at your office buy a lot of copy machines and this enormous television.

how can i tell rachel about this smitten kitchen miso sweet potato and broccoli bowl recipe i just found on the internet? i just really think she needs to know about it, priority contact box. i would really appreciate your help if you have the time i think she would love it. xxoo
Rachel says: ugh this is so sweet! this looks fucking delicious, it is exactly the kind of meal i like. thank you kind stranger!

Dear Laneia and Megan Congrats on joining the married peoples thing!! I’m so happy for the both of you and I can’t wait to see you both on the mountain to celebrate=)
Laneia says: Thank you!!! I can’t wait to see you on the mountain also!! Joining the married peoples thing was the best thing I’ve done in a long time.

My wife is in charge of the Oakland Athletics LGBT night. I would love to hook up Autostraddle with her in exchange for publicity for the event.
You should contact Alex [at] Autostraddle dot com!

So excited for the return of Game of Thrones
I do not share in this joy because I had to stop watching it because bloody gore and death, but I am very happy for YOU, my friend.

I would totally purchase YDY cuff links. I just thought you might want to know that.
I did want to know that. The next thing I want to know is how to get the Britta pitcher top to close all the way? Let me know if you have any tips.

Is there any chance of finding someone to update the Chicago city guide? I’ve lived here since fall and I’ll finally have some free time when summer comes around! I think maybe some things have changed since the guide was written? I know T’s has closed for sure. Thanks, Cloie
Would you like to update the guide? You can email laneia at autostraddle dot com and let her know! In fact, if any of you divine angels have updates for the a Queer Girl City Guide, email them to Laneia and cc bren at autostraddle dot com. Nothing would be grander, it’s true.

HAPPY LANEIA’S WEDDING!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOO!!

How do you respond to people who are constantly trying to police your identity when they are also members of the LGBTQ community? I’ve been seeing a lot of this on tumblr (not surprising, I know) and it really frustrates me. Someone is always offended or being ~problematic~ *gag* Why can’t we just love each other? Why are we policing and invalidating each other’s identities? The rest of the world already does that. I’ve never seen anything like this happen on Autostraddle, but I see it in a lot of other online spaces. Is there a good way to respond?
Yes there is: ignore it. I mean sometimes I’m sure it’s valid, of course, but I also think that tumblr has a way of really magnifying arguments that are totally void of nuance, and usually a person’s dedication to proving that everything is problematic wanes slightly after a few years of it. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes! So try to think of it as a passing thing rather than a pressing thing.

Holy shit guys 8 articles in like 24 hours. You’re doing so well, hope yall feel super proud of both the quality and content of what you’re producing!!!
Thank you! You know what else I do at least eight times in 24 hours? DRINK WATER. I hope you also drink water!

Ruby from bake-off just came out, you guys should get on that
WE DID!

Bring back the Otter! :’O
I wish I had a stuffed animal otter in my bed.

Two topics I REALLY would love to read about: 1) overcoming internalized homophobia; 2) overcoming internalized biphobia. I know the whole existence of Autostraddle and its politics are geared this way and appreciate the positive focus. However, sensible writing of this topic is surprisingly hard (=impossible) to find, and I and many others I know still sturggle with this. Maybe this is also a topic that especially affects people over the age of 30, having grown up in an even more homophobic time than the current with almost no out role models. Looking forward to reading of these topics!
Duly noted! I think it comes up in personal essays from time to time though even though we’ve never written about it directly.

Dana died, man. Why did they do that?
Because Ilene Chaiken hates me.

HI OTTER :3
HI!!!!!!1

Otterstraddle is the best and the cutest! Thanks for cheering up my day. :)
You’re so welcome! It was Ali’s idea, so.

Riese! You are thinking of moving to the Midwest! That is so exciting. We’re excited to welcome you. Where are you and your girlfriend thinking of moving to?
It IS so exciting and I’m so excited to meet new Straddlers in a new part of the world! We are gonna move to the Detroit area, I believe, and soon! Both my girlfriend and I are from the midwest originally so our families are stoked.

Re: “Misandry” crew-neck shirt Could we have a “You Do You” shirt in a crew-neck style??? In extended sizes??? I would’ve bought one such a long time ago if that style was available. The v-neck are too small and never seem to fit right, but a 3x crew-neck would be fucking amazing.
We will look into this!

dear autostraddle, get your sex survey published in an academic journal! you have done the hard stuff already (lit review, number crunching, explaining results). SERIOUSLY!
I’m not sure that it’s scientifically sound, though, the way we did it? The problem is that when we were putting it together, we focused more on inclusivity and making sure every identity/practice was included and nobody would be offended than we did on gathering solid data sets that would be easy to analyze and draw significant conclusions from. For example, letting people pick multiple gender identities or sexual orientations. We do have somebody with a background in this stuff going through it for us to help out with some of the questions where we made those kinds of choices though. Then maybe there will be hope for us?

do you not have a favicon because of closeted people? if so I think it is wise and kind!
We do have a favicon! But it’s just a black triangle. So I don’t think it gives anything away. Probably people just think you’re buying Airwalks.

Dear Riese and other AS people interested in gender parity in show business and writing/publishing/academia: You might be interested in this fascinating article: Closing the TV-Guest Gender Gap  Also this is pretty darn cool (maybe for a Sunday Funday?)
THANK YOU FOR THESE LINKS MY FRIEND. I have read / am planning to read these things!

LANEIA I think you should add Latch by Sam Smith and Disclosure to your wedding playlist. It’s fun and sweet and cute ♥ And Power of Two by Indigo Girls. I’m sending this here because IDK how to spotify. CONGRATS and mucho ♥♥♥♥ to you and Megan. =)
Laneia says: YOU’RE FUN AND SWEET AND CUTE. Thank you for these songs!

thanks for the sad depression advice heather. you’re a star. ive started sitting on my porch to get some sunlight even when i can’t actually properly leave my house. genius.
Heather says: You’re so welcome, friend. I was going to say a Harry Potter thing about sunshine being a real life Patronus, but it has come to my attention that not all of our senior staff have read Harry Potter and so I must use all of my evangelism to convert them from the Dark Side. ILU. <3

I have a friend that kept asking “how do lesbians have sex?” I directed my friend to that “how to have lesbian sex” article from like 2 years ago and now she doesn’t ask anything anymore. Thanks Autostraddle!
You’re so welcome! I hope the next time you paint your nails, they don’t chip the very next day!

I am proudly sporting my ‘Autostraddle Plus Official Member’ 2014 sticker on my computer. I was just wondering if we should anticipate a 2015 sticker if we donate through 2015? Many thanks for your continued work and time. Also, congrats on the GLAAD award!!!!
Actually the 2014 on the stickers represents when A+ got born, not when the particular A+ member joined. I’M SORRY I ALWAYS WANT TO TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE GETTING ANOTHER THING AND THEN I’M SAD WHEN INSTEAD I HAVE TO SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT GETTING A THING THAT YOU WANT BUT I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE PROUDLY SPORTING THE STICKER.

CONGRATS AGAIN YOU GUYS!! SO MANY FEEEEEELINGS. You guys really really REALLY deserve it. This is the little website that could. It’s amazing how many lives this place has touched and inspired and has just made better. I will never get tired of going onto this website and reading articles, looking at comments and insights from the readers. Congrats to the greatest team the interwebs has ever seen ♥
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU YOU HAVE TOUCHED US TOO THANK YOU

I love the positive comment culture of Autostraddle, it is AS’s best asset. However, now and then I do have thoughts about articles that I was disappointed by [I’ve removed the specific article the questioner mentioned to avoid making the writer of said article feel bad about themselves this afternoon, we’ll deal with it internally] I felt that I didn’t want to express this in the comments in order to not bring negative energy to the site. What is your opinion, on staff, about this? I notice people are called out on their prejudice, racism, transphobia etc., which is great and has taught me a lot, but the quality of the articles in this sense is generally not discussed. Would you think that would be productive? (I mean of course constructive criticism, not just lashing out against people.)
Actually, letting us know how you feel right here in this way is honestly the best way! We appreciate it so much because comments can get really performative and it does become a kind of bad energy, it makes the writer feel crappy and not want to write anymore, it makes the interview subject not want to talk to us ever again, etc. We also know when we’re contacted directly that you genuinely care about our quality and aren’t just hoping to stir shit up in public or to impress other haters. If it’s a compliant about the existence or style of the piece — if the comment is about our choice to publish the post and not the post itself — then hitting us up here or via e-mail is the best way. We talk about these things internally all the time. We have long and productive conversations about our failures and successes inspired by emails or A+ priority box comments, and we’re able to actually focus on the situation instead of also having to focus on the all-consuming stressful hotbox of an on-site pile-on. We also can discuss and see clearly, unclouded by resentment towards a comment that ruined an entire week of our lives. This is fairly specific to Autostraddle since I think we’re more emotionally engaged in the commenting community than other sites are. I don’t know many other sites that even have their writers read the comments anymore. That all being said, people still do take these complaints to comment threads all the time, even though I think we’ve requested otherwise in our comment policy! Thanks for asking. <3

Congratulations on the GLAAD Media Award! So deserved!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK you. thank you!

Did you know that the guardian started filming people on dates? And this week it’s two women.
Well well WELL. I wish they’d filmed me that time I went on a date with a girl and had sex on the floor of a taxi cab and then threw up all night, that would’ve been fantastic television.

i love the ziiiiiiiines
me too! they’re one of my favorite things we have ever done! And the third issue is gonna rock your socks right off your feet, I guarantee it.

Any more travel guides coming up?
Oh hey we have this new Video series called Button & Bly and it’s ALL ABOUT TRAVEL. Have you seen it? I’m writing a thing about Nashville, also. I keep asking for more travel content and city guides but all we get are white girls talking about how they went to some foreign country and were shocked by how homophobic everybody was compared to the US of A.

riese are you and haviland still friends…?
I think we sort of drifted apart, and had a tough quarrel over a year ago (although I didn’t recognize it as such at the time?). We text from time to time these days. I miss her a lot. I think we’ll come back together eventually, I have faith in that.

hey rachel, why did you decide to get married? like, when did you know it was ‘right’ or whatever?
Rachel says: What a good question! I am not sure how to answer it. I think that train got put into motion because my now-spouse wanted to marry me, and asked if I wanted to, and in that moment I realized that a) for the first time I was with someone who was actively invested in our relationship and wanted to help move it forward themselves rather than just sort of sitting in the car while I pushed it up the hill, and b) when I imagined myself still being with this person one year from now, five years from now, ten years from now, twenty and forty years from now, it still sounded awesome. That’s really the answer to why we decided to be 2gether 4ever — I don’t value marriage very highly personally or culturally or spiritually or whatever, so as far as I’m concerned the Big Day was when we had this conversation a tiny corner table of a restaurant in Kalamazoo, MI, and that was really when all the important stuff happened. The decision to have a wedding and get a marriage license was less important, and was made mostly because we wanted to make paperwork and stuff easier for the rest of our lives, and also for our family and friends.

erm silly question – how do you pronounce Laneia?
This is how I told everyone to pronounce my name when I went to 4-H camp in 1991: Pretend you are speaking French, but the word for ‘knee’ is the same as it is in English. Point to your knee and say la knee, then be shocked by your knee! Be amazed! Say ah! Now say it all together: la knee, ah! Now say it faster! YOU ARE TOTALLY SAYING MY NAME. Also if you want you can say it like linear, but replace the er sound at the end with an ah sound, you would also totally be saying my name. This is a lot, isn’t it? You can also pronounce it like, YOU ARE EVEN SHORTER THAN I THOUGHT YOU’D BE?! or I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ATE ALL OF THE ALMONDS DON’T YOU KNOW THERE’S A DROUGHT.

Dental dam: people really use that?
I mean, I do possess the actual statistical answer to this question: 5.46% of the ladies who took our Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey use dental dams. I think if you have an STI or haven’t been tested recently and therefore don’t know if you have an STI, using dental dams or latex gloves is important! (And 10.76% of our survey respondents indicated that they had tested positive for an STI at some point, so.) But also I’m not a doctor soooo what do I know. I do know some people who use them, though.

IM SO EXCITED FOR CAMP
WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON, ME AND YOU

I need help! My wife and I are going to be in San Fran for pride weekend. Can I get some Insider tips from anyone who lives in the area?
HEY BAY AREA INSIDERS, WHERE SHOULD THESE HUMAN GO WHEN THEY COME TO TOWN? I know what you’re thinking: Riese, don’t you live in the Bay Area? Don’t you have an opinion on where people should go when they come to town? Well, I don’t spend a lot of time in the city proper. But I can say that w/r/t Oakland, you should check out my favorite restaurant Mua, and also check out The Oakland Museum of California. In the city, I really like going to the Presidio or to Twin Peaks, and also walking around the Castro. But be careful nobody steals your wallet when you are petting puppies!

hi laneia i think you will look so beautiful on your wedding and have such a special day and look back when you are old and even if there is a significant lack of signage you will only remember how happy you were then and have been since! lots of love xx
Laneia says: THANK YOU this is a very kind and sweet thing to say to a person and I really love that you said it!! P.S. You are right.

currently reading AS archives with the tag ‘poetry’ starting with this gem of a post, ‘Pure Poetry #1: Def Jam. We have declared this week Autostraddle Pure Poetry Week, when we are going to talk about poets we like all the time! First up is T.S. Eliot. Just kidding it’s Def Jam.”
I love us and also you.

So Rachel mentioned meditation in You Need Help which made me want to tell you all about Headspace- it’s an app which makes 10 minutes of secular meditation a day so simple and easy and not at all like some abstract faux-spiritual bullshit your hipster barista goes on about. Anyway them seem like they couldn’t me more LGBT friendly and their weekly podcast is made by a lesbian. Basically in my head I can see a venn diagram between fans of Headspace and Autostraddle and the overlapping bit is really big.
Rachel says: Thank you, dear friend! I like Headspace and I also like this Breathe app, have you tried that one? I didn’t know they had a podcast, I will go check it out immediately!

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MINI-INTERVIEW WITH AN EDITOR: GABBY

What do you do in your job?
I work with the members of our QTPOC Speakeasy group to curate honest, radical and inspiring content for Autostraddle. If someone is working on a personal essay, I’ll edit, ask questions, and act as a sounding board for any ideas that a writer might have for the piece. When we do group roundups, I act as support for whoever is the lead editor/writer, and I’ll contribute written content. So basically, I’m a nerd that experiences great joy from talking to people about their wild queer dreams for the future and the ways they plan on burning down the systems that don’t serve us as a community. I’m also blessed, hashtag, to be someone who gets to write cool emotional shit for this website whenever I feel like it.

What is your vision for the section?
My vision is to be able to up our production so that we have stories from queer/trans people of color for all of our readers to absorb and connect to on a daily basis. It’s hard to curate all of that and make sure it’s all top quality stuff when the team is stretched to the ends with so much work & writing & real life stuff. Y’all know how it is. The big vision is also to put out content that connects but also stretches us past our comfort zones and into spaces where we must question ourselves and our beliefs as we make room for every fucking good-hearted human dedicated to the revolution. We must be the ones writing new narratives and re-configuring a justice system that was never intended to benefit us. We must elevate the importance of always being pro-black, pro-TWOC, anti-racist, anti-bullshit, always listening to the voices of those screaming for recognition in the middle of a white-washed, homogenized, nationalistic and color-blind gay culture springing up all around us and a culture that too often is in league with violent, imperialist political acts and policies.

What would be your dream pitch?
Dream pitch: To connect with and spend an entire day living alongside a radical queer/trans activist of color, complete with producing a mini-video for each day with the person, as they do the work that they love. It’d be like an epic,  Straddler on the Street consisting of 365 people. Their organization would get love and their artwork and most importantly, their passion and dedication. Also, god I bet everyone would be so foxy too.

What’s the hardest part?
Dealing with anxiety and depression slows me down and I hate it; sometimes I even hate myself.  I can’t focus on writing or anything and I lose the ability to get shit done. I lose the belief that this work has value. I feel isolated and alone and I see these issues running rampant in my qtpoc community which makes me wonder just how much we could be sharing and doing if so much shit didn’t affect us all. But I know that even when shit feels dark, we’re all doing the best we can. Literally, I refuse to believe less of us. The hardest part of all of that is not being able to provide in-person support to people who need it/want it.

Favorite online writer/editor / or like your hero?
I’m really just a huge fan of all the renegade young people dominating the hell out of tumblr spouting all the things they think and feel about gender, racism + white ppl bullshit, sexuality, the prison industrial complex, rape-culture, loving black and brown bodies, immigration, and everything in between that doesn’t vibe with the world that the rich old white men running thangs have created. Black twitter is the best movement on the internet and in the world. If black twitter was a church, I’d hope to be able to stand in solidarity and feel the power of such tremendous strength and unity. All hail Feminista Jones. Also, the Latino Rebels run by Julio Ricardo Varela are giving white media a good thrashing and highlighting all the important movements happening all over Latina America and in the various Latin@ communites in the United States. They need more queer writers over there but what Latin@ space doesn’t? And some quick FB shouts to Kay Ulanday Barret and Zerandrian S. Morris. I basically heart-stalk them on social mediaz and learn how to be a better human.

What do you wish people understood about your job?
I mean, they just need to know it exists.

Favorite snack to eat while working?
Strong, dark coffee with cinnamon, sugar and milk + a piece of toasted pan de manteca with raspberry jam cuz I’m fancy like that.

What would be the song that a montage of you doing your job would be set to?
Fantasy – Mariah Carey, not the ODB remix, the original sugary-sweet, basic pop masterpiece thnx.

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Yvonne Saves The Day

Welcome to Yvonne saves the day, a feature in which we remember when Yvonne saved the day.

Rachel: Hay kumquats can we do a food list about simple/quick weekday breakfasts? Preferably for this week (there’s an opening!)
I haven’t eaten breakfast in like three weeks and I think I may be near death
So actually if you volunteered for this you’d be saving a life, probably
Alley: I just ate a real meal for the first time in like 5 days and it made me so so happy. Spinach!
Stef: one of my goals for today is to eat a green vegetable
big dreamz
Rachel: Does anyone have the dream of writing the list
is that in anyone’s dream diary
Yvonne: I volunteer as tribute because I’ve been loving my overnight oats lately and also want to find out what to eat for breakfast this week, I’ll do this for the both of us Rachel. for our livelihood
Rachel: Wait you guys did anyone else see that
Did anyone else see yvonne SAVING THE DAY
Yvonne: omg Rachel
I just want breakfast
Rachel: Breakfast is the most important part of the day though
So like when you think about it…

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April Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous Aprils Riese thinks you might enjoy.

Top Ten ’90s Movies Beloved By Girls Who Turned Out Gay, by Riese & Laneia (April 2011) – This will be in the bible when we publish the bible for our religion, because this is very basic information about how we became the women we are today and why we’re all here right now. The first time Winona Ryder made it into one of Riese and Laneia’s great ideas.

Hello Estrogen, Farewell Heteronormative Privilege, by Annika Penelope (April 2011) – This was so great. I mean, it’s wild to go from being read as a USC frat boy with a hot girlfriend to being read as a pretty young lesbian with a hot girlfriend, and Annika gives us such insight to her experience in this essay, which’s one of the first things she ever wrote for us.

Evan Rachel Wood Is Bisexual, Toppy, Romantic, Will Pay For Dinner, by Riese (april 2011) – THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN!!!

Shit White Parents Have Said To Me, by Gabby Rivera (April 2012) – This is classic for the post itself, and also for the shit white parents said to our readers, as displayed in the comments.

I Don’t Have An Expiration Date and Neither Do You, by Grace Kim (April 2013) – This post is the first-person narrative of a gay woman from a conservative Asian-American family who became selectively mute from the ages of four to 24 in an effort to keep her gayness a secret, and then one day decided to turn her life around. This is a great piece by a great person.

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Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

Last Call: Stories from New Orleans’ Disappearing Dyke Bar Scene, by Rachel Lee

You know that we’re already discussing the past and present of lesbian bars in our State of the Lesbian Bar series, and it is just so crazy and awesome that Last Call was already investigating similar things on their own, AND that they got in touch with us and we got to publish them! This piece is just so great, it’s well-researched and empathetic and human and historically grounded, I just cannot believe you wouldn’t like it.

Salsa y la Naturaleza: How A Willie Colon Song Taught Me About Queerness and Love, by Gabby Rivera
Many of you read this, at least I think you did, but I’m putting it in here because I cannot bear the thought that even one of you might not have. It keeps me up at night, much like the fear that I might have a student loan that I don’t even know about and am therefore many years past due on. This essay is everything I want in the world, it’s difficult and beautiful and ILLUSTRATED, please help me sleep soundly by making sure you read it.

Button and Bly’s travel videos from LA and Big Bear, by Button and Bly
HAY have you guys seen these two cute gay girls helpfully explore different locales for you? Did you know they’re doing their third and most recent season in collaboration with Autostraddle? Watching their video about LA made me almost interested in LA, despite my stated dislike of LA, so there’s a strong recommendation.

This Is A Winona Ryder Post, by Riese and Laneia
This post has been SO long in the making. Did you ever watch the original Fantasia movie, and there was that sequence with like the tectonic plates breaking apart and lava flowing and the earth’s crust was forming? That’s when this post was originally started in WordPress. I’m so happy it finally exists in the world and I want you to read it. It’s also extremely Laneia and Riese, like the most authentically them that it’s possible to be, so it’s a nice thing to read if you miss them and want to hang out with them.

Beyond Storytelling: Actionable Ways to Help with Tech’s Woman Problem, by Chloe
GOD I’M SO THRILLED THIS EXISTS. I have more feelings about how the discourse about social problems plays out in online media than anyone wants to hear, but relevant to this article is my frustration with how often “articulating a problem” is conflated with “enacting change around that problem.” After a conversation in Slack about how tired people were of the phenomenon of writing that tried to prove “this is a real problem!,” this article came into the world: journalism that tries to talk through the reason this problem is happening and explore specific solutions. Glory be!

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Yvonne’s Top Five Favorite Trader Joe’s Items

Trader Joe’s is about a five minute walk from my apartment, which is a curse and blessing. I’m there probably more than three times a week. It would be easier if I made a giant grocery list and picked up everything I needed in one fell swoop but sometimes that just doesn’t happen. One day, I’m like, “Oh shit, there’s nothing to eat for lunch. I’ll just pick something up from TJ’s.” The next day, it’s like “Fuck, we need milk,” or “Ugh, we forgot the mushrooms.” Sometimes I just want something to munch on or in desperate need for $3 wine. Whatever the case may be, Trader Joe’s is always there — unfortunately only till 9 p.m. Here are my top five favorite food items from TJ’s.

Chile Spiced Mango

I’m super Mexican and grew up eating the Vero spicy mango lollipops. At one point, I think they were banned from stores because they found lead in them but that didn’t stop me or all the other Valley kids from getting our hands on them by way of people bringing them from Mexico. They’re that fucking good! Well, Trader Joe’s Chile Spiced Mango dried fruit version are like the slightly healthier, adult version of the lollipops I had as a kid. They’re sweet with just the right amount of spice and they’re just as great as the candy. I have to hide them from my girlfriend because she’ll eat them all in one sitting.

Tomato Basil Hummus Dip + Savory Thin Mini Crackers

We hosted a New Year’s Eve party one time and our guests brought small bites and drinks. We didn’t get to eat everything that was brought over so what was left over were unopened Trader Joe’s Tomato Basil Hummus Dip and Savory Crackers. I decided to try them together and I felt like I made the greatest discovery that afternoon. I devoured them in a short two days and ever since then I can’t have one without the other. I tried the tomato basil hummus with pita chips, veggies, tortilla chips and it doesn’t compare! Same goes for the savory crackers, it’s just not the same with any other hummus flavors.

Spicy Thai Style Pasta Salad

This is my go-to there isn’t any food in the fridge and I need something quick for lunch food item. It’s delicious and filling. I always ignore the “serves 2″ label and gobble all of it up. It’s not spicy enough for me, so I always add Sriracha to it.

Cheese & Green Chile Tamales

I hate fake Mexican/Tex-Mex food and avoid it altogether because I know I’ll be greatly disappointed. I don’t know why but I picked these Cheese & Green Chile Tamales one time and I fell in love. They’re so cheesy and delicious, the masa tastes great and everything in life is perfect.

Movie Theater Popcorn

My friends kept raving about this popcorn so I finally decided to try it not too long ago. They were right. It’s SO GOOD and so addictive! I promise you, you’ll probably eat half the bag (if not more) in the first sitting.

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The Tweeter Machine

One of the things Carmen and Heather love the most about manning Autostraddle’s Twitter is reading the things people tell us about how they win arguments by just making someone read an Autostraddle article. This month was extra fun because people also talked to us about the results of our Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey. Also, of course: The Otter. Here are some of our favorite tweets from April.

https://twitter.com/RosalindBazett/status/588017488874627072

I love that @autostraddle is creating infographics to go with their stories now. Data viz is <3

— raechel (@rae_thecyborg) April 17, 2015

Everytime I'm on @autostraddle my phone says it's an "adult site" and dangerous.. like wtf? I'm LITERALLY reading about grilled cheese rn?

— alice bot (@holy_norma) April 13, 2015

When @autostraddle retweets you 😍http://t.co/61vCrCoQwE

— tannic pixie dream girl (@viciousvinifera) April 21, 2015

@autostraddle Guerilla stickering campaign on this MPLS to Chicago flight? Who says we aren't recruiting… pic.twitter.com/yq6ZK0Emg0

— Theodosia Henney (@ThemFatale) April 14, 2015

.@hhoagie There are queer people over 30 who write? :) Go, @Autostraddle!

— tellofilms (@tellofilms) April 17, 2015

Guy in my class wants to argue bout Korrasami not being legit enough and @autostraddle has the best explanation pic.twitter.com/g2j0GAN3bk

— Btehany Jelly (@Btehany) March 30, 2015

Q: Is our race for the Moon triggered by lesbianism? http://t.co/YpC0FmOGi1 Seriously, @autostraddle, I need answers on this.

— Maggie Koerth (@maggiekb1) April 4, 2015

https://twitter.com/oriharakaoru/status/583395395973316609

https://twitter.com/aurisvegrandis/status/584069889339580417

I like @autostraddle's nod to April Fools' the best. There are otters!

— Sarah Mitroff (@sarahmitroff) April 1, 2015

Really excellent touch with the otter, autostraddle. #aprilfools #convert #scissorism https://t.co/Ivm4EwoIEc

— Jen LaBarbera (@jenlabarbera) April 1, 2015

WHY IS THERE AN OTTER ON @autostraddle ??? It's freaking me out! It's staring at me!

— AnthroChick (@KissMe_Hardy) April 2, 2015

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Cabbage Patch Turtle Shell Babies

Rachel: Whatever happened to that perfect couple who was living in an RV and wanted to write for us
Did the universe give them to us and then take them away
Laneia: I don’t knowwwww where they went! I should email them again again
Riese: Oh yeah!
Rachel: Don’t you feel like everything in our lives would be better if we published them on our website
our hair would be better behaved, our lips less chapped
Laneia: Yes
Rachel: children better behaved, telemarketers would stop calling
Laneia: I would get babies from my Keurig
Riese: and the capsules would be recyclable
Laneia: recyclable baby cups
Heather: Babies in a half shell: coffee power!
Laneia: Oh wow thing I didn’t know i needed but now desperately do: graphic of babies crawling around my kitchen with K-cups as turtle shells
thank you heather
Heather: You’re welcome!

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Carolyn’s Sex Toy Recommendation Of The Month

Bondage is great, but the thing about certain narratives about bondage (and kink in general) is that there’s a lot of emphasis on the accoutrements — a kind of and look to restraints, expensive impact toys, the shiniest, meanest nipple clamps, probably a lot of leather or latex or whatever, or at least a lot of black. I find this emphasis kinda boring. To me, kink is less a performance and more a state of mind, and while some of the accoutrements can be fun as hell (and if they’re the number one thing you’re interested in, follow your arrow obvs), I’d way rather focus on the activities around them.

That’s why rope — plain ol’ hardware store rope in solid-braid nylon, 7/16″ or 3/8″ in diameter — is the perfect bondage toy. It’s cheap. It’s flexible. If you have one of those bags someone’s mom used for washing nylons in the ’80s, it’s machine washable. You can get it in any length you want as many times as you want. It’s available at almost any hardware store (though you can also get it at sex shops, if you just want to give feminists your money). It’s easy to learn how to use it safely. And it’s proof you don’t have to spend a ton to be kinky.

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#SIXGODDESS

Carmen: Maybe nobody else will be as excited about this as me but i’m going to Toronto in May with my boo and my dog and I’m gonna literally run through the six and yes, I’m going on a tour of the city based on Drake’s lyrics and also life experiences and I just wanted to put that all in a place so HERE YOU GO
Rachel: Carmen what if you did a photo essay of your drake tour
Bren: Carmen, !!!!!!
Carolyn: !!!
Carmen: Rachel I think I would explode if this was asked of me
I’m making reservations at Sotto Sotto right now talkin’ ’bout women and vino
but also porter airlines won’t let me bring eli and also a carry on? Like, why are Canadian airlines so anti-dog I’M GETTING REALLY FRUSTRATED ABOUT IT
Bren: Tell them he’s a tiny tiny moose. They like mooses I think
Carolyn: We do it’s true
Carmen: I’m gonna call and be like “ok can you walk me through why a dog under a seat counts as a carry-on in the overhead compartment one more time”
Obvi I will be on my worst behaviour
UGH I CAN’T STOPPPP
Riese: Into this photoessay
Carmen: What if I got a Drake-inspired tattoo in Toronto what then
obviously a face tattoo, just of drake’s face, i think that’s apt
Rachel: would it be of this [shares drake emoji]
Carmen: Rachel last night i legit suggested getting “nothing was the same” in cursive and geneva was like :neutral_face:
BUT IT’S SO REAL AND TRUE
Rachel: I think you have to follow your heart on this one
Stef: Also I think if you get Eli registered as an emotional support dog or service dog they can’t tell you shit. Pretty sure if he’s a service dog he flies free.
Bren: True story my mom bought one of those service dog vests at goodwill just so she can take her tiny chihuahua with her EVERYWHERE. now she even takes her to goodwill.
Brittani: Carmen this is such amazing news to me I am truly happy for you
Carmen: Brittani do you wanna come to il molino with us let’s be real
Brittani: I wish I could
and I’d get a tattoo of the prayer hands with 5 God under it
Carmen: #sixgoddess
Brittani: That should be your trip’s official hashtag
Carmen: OKAY I CAN DO THAT
Audrey: Last night I identified my ideal musical genre as Americana infused with Drake. Can we make this happen at camp?
Carmen: If Drake had accepted my request to collaborate with him in 2012 this would already be happening
I’m cycling through the ridiculous shit i could get tattooed on my body in toronto in homage to drake
Lydia: I AM SO ON BOARD FOR ALL OF THIS
With my WOES
Carmen: I am going to just run through the six with my woes like for eight days and it’ll be amazing
unfortunately i am flying into the island and not pearson so i can’t go to terminal one or three but like, it’s ok because Drake hasn’t been there in so long
Gabby: i’ve been listening to his mixtape on repeat Carmen
something about how moody yet bumping the whole thing is
YOU RUN THRU THE 6 GURL
Carmen: Ugh I’m gonna run through the six with my woes and it’s gonna be so good for instagram

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XOXO Team Autostraddle