Letter From Your Editors
HAPPY NEW YEAR! For December, here are our morning routinesā¦ because we are looking forward to the start of a new day. Get it? (Nico did not do this, Nico is not that corny. Thatās all me.)
Drew dissociating in a towel / Heather on a morning ride / Kayla with morning coffee / Meg and morning tarot pull
Laneia morning cake / Nico morning coffee / Ro’s mug / Viv still in bed
Well my friends, we made it. Another trip around the sun. Since taking over as Editor-in-Chief, usually I write our December letter from a place of exhaustion. Thereās nothing quite like getting up the last post on the last day the year to spark that in someone. But this year Iām lucky enough to be writing you not only a day early (weāre scheduling this out ahead of time), but also ā well maybe not rested ā but refreshed. Iām currently wrapped under a blanket, when I finish this letter Iām going outside to appreciate some twinkling lights before theyāre gone, Iām grateful to have warmth around me and everything feelsā¦ peaceful? Peace comes rare to Autostraddle, a space best defined by kinetic energy (how else would we keep this website going?) and it feels glowy and singular and special.
This is usually where I tell you what weāve been up to this month, and December was a busy one! There was our annual Holidays package and also our annual End of Year pop culture lists (Iām particularly proud that this year we covered not only TV/Film and books, Autostraddle mainstays, but also music and even video games). Kayla, in particular, really did her best work in keeping our trains going on time. This peace that Iām writing about so lovingly? Itās her work. She had our calendar through 2023 locked and loaded by December 19th (!!) ā there is not a day that goes by when I donāt feel amazed that sheās in charge of our calendar now. We actually just passed Kaylaās one year anniversary as our Managing Editor, and I already barely remember how we ever worked without her. In January, it will be Anyaās one year celebration. Viv has already been with us for six full months. We brought 14 new writers on to our team this year. Autostraddle has been busy growing this year, we earned this small rest.
Iāve been thinking a lot about rest lately because something happened in my life that forced me to take a huge pause. Iāve been reading Tricia Herseyās Rest Is Resistance (I cannot stop talking about it) and there is a quote that Iāve been repeating as a mantra, āIf we are not resting, we will not make it. I need us to make it. We must thrive.” And very quickly ā Iām especially talking to other Black people in this moment ā people who have been taught that our value and worth is rooted in our ability to be productive, that those ways of thinking are tied to white supremacy (which I know, we know, but is always worth a reminder). Rest requires meticulous practice ā which I have yet to learn how to do. It requires grace and forgiveness. I think that as queer people we arenāt always great at grace and forgiveness. We are hard on ourselves. We are hard on others. Thereās a lot we need to unlearn about expectations of perfection (as if we could be āperfect” enough make up for whatever it is others outside of our community see as a deficit in our queerness). I think, more than anything, I wish all of us the peace that comes with stillness and rest in this upcoming year.
We also have a lot of big things on the horizon of 2023. In extremely personal news, we’ve had three engagements in the last few months on the Autostraddle editors team, two on Christmas day alone! And for the website, Kayla and I have already started broad paintbrush mapping out some of the big themes we want to tackle next year. As soon as the clock strikes on January 2nd ā when we are back in office āI look forward to getting back together with all of our senior team, one-on-one and looking at our dreams for 2023. So many of our big dreams from those meetings in January 2022 came alive (we launched the A+ book club and brought back A+ personal essays, Kayla turned Autostraddle into a go-to hub for queer books, we covered three elite film festivals, and did I mention all of that hiring that we did??). I cannot wait for whatās coming next.
We closed out our year once again with our 13 Days of A+. No, excuse me, our largest 13 Days of A+ ever. Because on the list of things that mean so much to us, at the core of values, you are at the very top of that list. Iām so glad that we were able to spend time together, whether it was on the discord or in the comments of the A+ posts on the site. Iām so glad to be in community with you.
On behalf of all of us, Happy New Year. Put your phone on silent. Drink some tea. Lie down for a bit. You deserve it.
Love,
Carmen / Riese / Nico / Laneia / Kayla / Heather / Anya / Viv
Top 10 Most Popular Posts From November 2022
These posts were hella popular last month.
1. The L Word Generation Q Episode 302 Recap: Los Angeles Traffic Jam, by Riese
2. The L Word Generation Q Episode 301 Recap: Last Year I Gave you My Heart, by Riese
3. Quiz: Which Gen Q Character is “The One” For You? by Riese
4. Jennifer Beals is Stepping Back from “The L Word,” Deepening Our Mommi Issues, by Riese
5. Homophobic Hobby Lobby Accidentally Made a Christmas Rom-Com, by Heather
6. November 2022: Whatās New and Gay on Netflix, Peacock, Hulu, Prime Video, Showtime, HBO Max, Etc, by Riese
7. Cate Blanchett Is Bewitching But Her Lesbian Symphony Movie Is TƔr-ible, by Heather
8. Pop Culture Fix: āStrange World” Features Disneyās Millionth First Gay Character, by Heather
9. Thereās a Bisexual Romance at the Center of āWarrior Nun” Season 2, by Heather
10. Aubrey Plaza’s Movie Performances, Ranked, by Shelli
Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations
Kayla: Putting on makeup and real clothes in the first time for like two weeks for snow globes
This’ll be the first time people who are not Kristen have seen me in legitimately like 12 days lol
Other than the one lady at urgent care
[after the event starts]
Carmen: This is SO CUTE.
Laneia is a natural.
Nico: yeah just having laneia talk to everyone is such a treat
Carmen: This is like queer bob ross and i’m so happy right now
Heather: honestly sometimes i just stay in PR good graces for the gift boxes
for example the dolly parton candy nbc sent me
Kayla: showtime send me the Yellowjackets letterman jacket challenge
Nico: you deserve it
Kayla: Wholesome content alert!! Kristen and I made this gingerbread Publix š„° this is the most activity I’ve done since getting sick so it was thrilling
Carmen: Obsessed!!
Nico: ARE THE GUM DROPS TRAFFIC BLOCKERS OR WHATEVER
this is stunning
Kayla: šš
Carmen: Ok hellooooo! I have two pieces of Black queer media and I want to know if anyone’s interested in writing about either of them:
- As Shelli pointed out this weekend, Miss Cleo was gay! Which I did not know, but Riese has informed me is a known fact, the more you know, etc.Would anyone like to watch and write about this documentary and/or Miss Cleo?(Ideally this would even be this week, but! With the holidays right here and now! I think this is something that would be good through the new year.)
- The Whitney Houston biopic “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” directed by one of my favorite Black women directors, Kasi Lemmons, starring Master of None’s Naomi Ackie and Black Lightning’s Nafessa Williams, comes out this very Thursday! We’ve confirmed it’s some undetermined level of gay.We’re looking for someone who is interested in reviewing it! This would require seeing the movie over the weekend-early next week (again, there’s some flexibility here because of the holidays) and writing a review we could publish by middle/end of next week ā before the New Year ā at the latest.
Why are is there so much Black queer media coming out on right as all of us are packing up for the Holiday Break? Is it in fact racism? I’ll leave that up to youuuu!
Yash: WNBA WIFE KEHLANI?!
A. Tony: Can Kehlani drop the masterclass I am trying to get a WNBA wife
*when three people on the senior team and 2 of their partners were sick*
Laneia: good morning ! tripledemic š£ pew pew pew pewwwww
Carmen: hahahaaaa
Laneia: need a tshirt gun
Carmen: i absolutely read it with tshirt gun energy
Laneia: ty for seeing me
Nico: oh yes, lots of air horns. shockjock radio DJ voice even.
Carmen: ok I never thought I’d search for the “gun” emoji but this is a delightful shade of green I must say š«
Nico: should we have a site-wide roundtable about how we’re all miserable? just a thought
Nico: wait riese did we figure out what movie alice was watching last ep yet
because an A+ member in the server said it was the little shop of horrors
Riese: yes
little shop of horrors yes!
drew discovered
Nico: Oh good!!
A. Tony: this is not appropriate to put into links but i thought āaubrey plazas top 10″ was somehow āaubrey plaza open to topping” and i was like see, this is what i love about autostraddle, they give us opportunities weād never get anywhere else and then i was gonna come in here and ask yāall how to perfect my application so i can get topped by aubrey plaza
but that’s not what that link was
Darcy: i mean, i would not be surprised in the slightest
Stef Rubino: a.tony i’m so sorry to fake you out!! hahaha
it was simply about her love of cinema
A. Tony: i mean that’s important too and needs to be shared
i was just mid bottoming stretch when it clicked is all
Shelli: I hope Ā«Aubrey plaza open to toppingĀ» is news that breaks soon so I can write about it
A. Tony: I hope I’m the reason itās a news break so i can be interviewed by you again
gotta put what you want out into the universe
What We’re Reading
Smitten Kitchen Keepers
by Deb Perelman
Anya
A Minor Chorus: A Novel
by Billy-Ray Belcourt
Casey
Season of Love
by Helena Greer
Casey
Salem’s Lot
by Stephen King
Nico
Gravity’s Rainbow
by Thomas Pynchon
Viv
Uphill
by Jemele Hill
Natalie
How To Write An Autobiographical Novel
by Alexander Chee
Julie
The Sunset Route
by Carrot Quinn
Ro
The Charm Offensive
by Alison Cochrun
Riese
McSweeney’s Quarterly: The Queer Fiction Issue
Various
Nico
Seasparrow
by Kristin Cashore
Heather
Since I Laid My Burden Down
by Brontez Purnell
Drew
Tell Me I’m Worthless
by Alison Rumfitt
Kayla
This Woven Kingdom
by Tahereh Mafi
Heather
AMAQ (All Masocts Are Queer)
Yash: omfg y’all remember this
Yash: if you were to ask a mascot āhow do you know if youāre queer” which mascot are you asking (iām asking gritty)
Nico: Totes McGoats
is who i am asking Yash
Sally: Probably those clitorises from the Paris Olympics.
Abeni: maybe the mascot of louch, UK (a “sausage”)
Stef Rubino: this bitch right here
Heather: the angry stanford tree!
probably poison ivy’s assistant tbh
Stef Rubino: Heather i was going between the tree and the baby but i went baby
Nico: that baby is an icon
Heather: very similar unhinged energy by something that is usually considered pretty innocent
Darcy: haha omg what year is this from
the jack thing
1999!!!!!
(don’t mind me catching up lol)
A. Tony: i’m asking smokey bear bc i’m assuming we’re asking at the age that this girl is? and i’d probably heard carpet muncher enough that i was worried that the friction would start a fire and so he’d tell me how to prevent that
extra believe in him because of the shovel, that means he probably knows how to hide things that need hiding
Darcy: Smokey would be the cutest dyke
A. Tony: honestly requesting that all forest dykes go around topless and carrying various forestry tools in honor of smokey the bear
What Weāve Been Watching
The Killing of a Sacred Deer
Nico
Four Christmases
Anya
Holiday
Drew
Persepolis
Julie
Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
Heather
LIFE
Natalie
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Ro
TƔr
Viv
The Best Man: The Final Chapters
Carmen
The Thin Man
Kayla
PR Emails That Lost Their Way
More often than weād like, people email us about things that demonstrate they might be missing the point.
Nicolodeon
This is just a doodle from Nicoās notebook :) They hope it brightens your day!
KKU LookBook
I was sick with RSV for two full weeks in December, which means I didn’t do a whole lot of Looksā¢ for the month. These three were taken before I fell ill though and generally capture my holidays aesthetic. Enjoy!
Look 1: I bought this fuzzy white cropped wrap top as part of my Halloween costume two years ago when I was Queen Frostine from Candy Land but I have found plenty of other occasions to wear it! Try out this non-fuzzy option ($42)! These wide leg dark red pants were gifted to me by my good friend Maria and they’re from Madewell several seasons ago. I’m digging the v holiday party-ready velvet version Banana Republic has for $79, and it might be too late for holiday parties this year but you can always plan ahead to next year! I’m also wearing a long pearl necklace doubled up.
Look 2: I wore this to a Christmas parade in our neighborhood! Dark green ribbed mock-neck ($44); white mini skirt ($40); red knee-high socks ($9); heeled boots ($67).
Look 3: This was for a matinee at our local playhouse! We were the youngest people there by two decades!!!!!! Oversized red blazer ($51); black mock-neck tank ($20); black skinny jeans ($35); black clutch ($38).
Meet A New(ish) Contributor!
Get to know some of our newest faces.
Ashni, Writer
Instagram: @ashnisays
What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
I really had to sit with this one for a minute because there are so many good sandwiches lol!! I think Iāve landed on one, though: focaccia as my base, slightly warm, cut down the middle. Pesto on one side, crushed Calabrian peppers on the other. Fresh mozz, a little prosciutto, and maybe some roasted veggies. I like things that are salty and spicy and I think this gets me there!
If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Easily the š„ŗ emoji!!
Who was your first woman celebrity crush?
Shego from Kim Possible, unless weāre going for someone who exists IRL, in which case Keira Knightley.
Whatās your #1 turn-on?
Physical strength! I love strong hands, strong shoulders, you get the idea.
Whatās your #1 turn-off?
People who think conversations are their chance to monologue. If I wanted to have someone talk at me, I would just listen to a podcast!! (I hate podcasts).
Whatās the worst date youāve ever been on?
Honestly, I donāt think Iāve been on a bad date! I have had weird experiences with people Iāve dated, though. I was traveling with a then-partner, and their former FWB lived in the area, so we decided to all grab drinks. What I didnāt anticipate, though, was that said FWB would invite us to her house, where she lived with not only her mother but also her grandmother?
I did go on another weird one, though. We were at a comedy show and she tried to hold my hand the entire time, which is admittedly sweet, but also we were at a comedy show ā not the most romantic place. Also, the comedians were doing really short sets so we had to pull our hands apart every five minutes to clap, and then rejoin them which just felt really weird?
Failure Is An Art Form
We are here to normalize trying, failing, trying, and failing again!
*Of Note: the team has no notable failures this month. A month of rest!
Wow You All Must Be Very Tidy
Haunted / Not Haunted
This month’s Haunted/Not Haunted features creepy items that I (Heather) came across while shopping for Christmas presents for my family, which is funny because most of my family are hardcore evangelical Christians who believe they are in constant spiritual warfare with the literal devil. Most of them don’t even allow secular Christmas decorations in their homes due to Jesus being the reason for the season.
#1 When You’re Sleeping
Heather: This, um, eyeball(?) tree ornament.
Nico: Is the creator making these because they know people will buy them, or because they are themselves possessed by an urge to drag the nightmares of their mind’s eye out into the living world so that they can be freed through the pain we feel upon this viewing. Though I doubt this is haunted, I still would not like to touch it.
#2 Goblin on the Shelf
Heather: A goblin on the shelf. It looks like he sprang forth from that trunk behind him and put on some festive clothes that were also hanging around in the attic.
Nico: Who…WHO would make this? I do suspect that this is, if not haunted, possessed by a demon. I am imagining that the face, before the demon entered, was blank. It looks like it was carved not by a human hand, but from the inside…out.
#3 The ‘Ol Razzle Dazzle
Heather: This whole other tree ornament. I’ll be honest: Until we started this Insider section, I had no idea there was such a large market for repurposed doll parts.
Nico: Aside from the fact that I’m haunted by the far too high markup on doll parts for repurposing (everyone wants them! It’s like how second-hand mannequins can be super expensive unless you get a deal or are lucky enough to find one), I am also haunted by the paint choice here. Jesum this looks goopy. I do think that depending on the previous life of the doll, that these could be haunted, but there is no way to tell which ones are haunted. It is unlikely that ALL available doll head ornaments will be haunted, but you might win the hauntery (the haunted lottery) if you give it a shot.
Bonus: He Keeps the Score
Heather: This trinket that looks like something A hanged on a Little Liars’ Christmas tree when no one was looking.
Nico: Normally, I might say this is a joke. But looking at this, even through a computer screen, chills me. I do think that this, this particular ornament, in this particular photo has a bad energy. Whoever made this has a darkness in their heart that will draw negative spirits toward them and everything they touch. Ghosts also are notoriously drawn toward communicating in writing, and the sinister message, no doubt, will draw them to this ornament. HAUNTED. Happy haunted holigays, Heather.
A Reason to Put Your Pants On
Riese: you guys
[shares file of a clip from the pants podcast of kate and leisha talking about riese’s recaps]
this is what got me out of the bathtub and onto my laptop this morning
Heather: OH MY GOD
Riese!
leisha was like āyeah Riese from autostraddleā
Riese: i didn’t know they read the recaps!
Heather: this has made my entire year
Riese: seriously i was not going to make it through this day but this is so aggressively amazing that i had no choice but to live
Heather: i am so happy
Riese: if this turns out to be a fever dream i would believe it
Kayla: riese WTF
IM SCREAMING
“I WISH SHE WAS ON THE WRITING STAFF”
Riese: YEAH
Kayla: this just gets better and better and better
SHE SAYS THE QUIET PARTS OUT LOUD
“I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE HER ON”
Heather: this is so fucking cool riese
and SO decades-in-the-making deserved
Riese: like every additional thing they say
i am like omg yes!
Kayla: THEY WANT YOU ON
Heather: and itās all true
Riese: it is true lol
Heather: you should email
Riese: obviously i am not one to TOOT MY OWN HORN but
i think what they say is true!! it feels so great that they see it
Heather: yes!
Kayla: kristen heard too and was like šÆ
the entire time
yeah they would not go on that long if they didn’t mean it
Heather: absolutely
Kayla: like over 2 minutes of gushing about you
Heather: and itās clear theyāve BEEN thinking it
Kayla: leisha knew u started autostraddle
i’m BEAMING ahhhh
Heather: yes!
Riese this is so cool, tell everyone!
Kayla: this is the greatest endorsement
Heather: Riese seriously, you started writing about this show on BLOGGER and built an EMPIRE that has sustained and ENTIRE ENORMOUS COMMUNITY and THRIVED while every one else BURNS ALIVE and kate and leisha are now saying deep details about your talent
Kayla: omg the Blogger origins
nee Blogspot
Riese: it’s like god was like “is there anything in the world that would get riese out of bed today”
oh i know
let’s have kate and leisha gush about her recaps on their podcasat
Kayla: literally over 2 minutes of gushing i’m still like
it kept going and getting better !!!!!!
Heather: and really informed!
two minutes of podcast gushing probably was like ten actual minutes
i love that kate was acting like you had the hardest name in the world to pronounce
Riese: hahaha
Kayla: yeah truly how many different ways could there be to say Riese”
Heather: the build up actually makes it better
Riese: right i was nervous
Heather: like what is she about to say!
Heather: āRiese”
Riese: i can’t wait to tell leisha where we met lol
i will wait to tell her on air if they have me on the pod
bc i think the first time was me and cait winning the uh huh her sxsw video contest in 2008 š„³
Kayla: omg i’ve seen that video
Heather: this all feels so huge!
but also like: FINALLY
and i feel so lucky to be celebrating with you
god riese! all the things youāve been through! all the times you could have given up! and now! finally! kate and leisha saying all your talent and hard work out loud.
itās a big damn deal
Riese: thank you your happiness and enthusiasm for me means THE WORLD TO ME
the clip makes me smile every time thank u for ur support of me & my career
Nico Finds This Collage Viv Made to Be Slightly Disturbing
XOXO
Team Autostraddle
heather would love to hear your thoughts on seasparrow! I devoured it and now wish I hadnāt returned my library copy because I want to go back and savor, which is always true for Kristin cashore books
Oh I absolutely loved it! I was a little worried because Iād read the style was going to be so different. And also, I think we were both in agreement that the Gideon/Bitterblue thing threw us in the last book. But! I was just enraptured by the second sentence and could hardly put it down. Havaās whole everything makes so much sense to me and I remain endlessly impressed with Kristin Cashoreās ability to let these women be mess-mess-messy! Hava did remind me of Katsa, like Bitterblue said, but of the Katsa we knew before she even met Bitterblue. Which is of course one of my FAVORITE things about this series. Every woman is her own main character. I love how distanced Hava is from Katsa. It makes sense! And it also makes sense that Katsaās praise means so much to her. The blue foxes were what really had my heart. Hope! I love that Cashore has learned not to give disabilities magical cures! And those babies had me howling and bawling. But please! What did YOU think?
i loved hava so much!! she is a fundamentally weird and traumatized person and everyone around her respects that and doesn’t try and fix her, but just tries to learn her boundaries and needs. i think she and early-graceling katsa would have vibed but been bad for each other.
oh the foxes! the babies and hope just!!!! the way that love exists in so many forms and none of them are more or less than the others
and i love how the world keeps expanding and how the characters are forced to reconceptualize their worldviews constantly. viva la revolution!
and i’m still not sold on gideon/bitterblue relationship if only because “character a is fully grown character b is ten” and then they stay in each other’s lives for years before becoming romantically involved and it’s just weird! and i really liked bitterblue’s questioning of her romantic attraction in and around the saf of it all and i would love more textual queerness instead of ‘all the narrating characters are queer (coded) but happen to partner with men.’ also there is a graduate thesis waiting to be written on gender and transness in the series
Here’s to 2023! Can’t wait to see what AS has in store!
ššššššš
I’m going to be thinking about Ashni’s favorite sandwich for days…
Damn same! Crushed Calabrian peppers on one side, pesto on the other š„² perfection!
Riese, that is so awesome about the podcast! It made me smile to hear about it, and Iām so glad that you got some well deserved recognition for your hard work!
Thank you all so much for a year of incredible work! 2022 was rough as hell and I’m so grateful for everything you’ve given us here on AS. Hope everyone gets some very well deserved rest!!
10 minutes to go before 2023! You all were Amazing this year and took such good care of us! Here’s to YOU ! All the fabulous recognition you deserve, bring it on World !
Congratulations on the Christmas marriage proposals! Now Iām trying to guess who.
CONGRATS RIESE!!!
AND EVERYONE WHO GOT ENGAGED!!!
Late reading but this makes my heteronormative holiday break better, thank you!
ššš
the reactions to hearing leisha and kate talking about riese had me clapping with delight. congrats on the well-deserved praise riese!
This was delightful to read and now I am in need of Ashni’s sandwich, thank you. Lolsob.