The Autostraddle Insider: Issue 81, June 2021

Letter From Your Editors

HELLOOOOOOOOOO AND WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF PRIDE!! We are here and queer and working our asses off 365 days a year, not just in June when Target decides to care about us. So this month we wanted to show your our workplaces:

A collage showing everyone at their workplace

1st: Abeni // Kayla // Valerie Anne // Heather // Drew
2nd: Meg // Nicole // Casey // Rachel // Laneia
3rd: Riese // Sally // Shelli // Stef // Carmen

Speaking of workplaces, usually in this section of the Insider I write a letter from the editor that has a little bit of personal reflection and lot of of bit about what’s going on beneath the hood of this website and how we’re spending your money. A lot of you A+ members already know this, because you’ve been here before. BUT GUESS WHAT?? WE HAVE OVER 400 NEW MEMBERS THIS MONTH, Thanks to this here member drive that we’ve been running all June. And we couldn’t be more happy to have you! Pull up a chair (the one over there by the window to the left has a little stuffing coming out of the sides, but I promise it is comfy!) and make yourself at home.

Ok — because of the member drive, all of our senior editors and subject editors actually wrote you letters about how we spend our days here working and spending your gay dollars! So, rather than be repetitive by repeating myself this month, I’m going to link them all for you here. Next month — we’ll be back to a full letter from this here editor.

We also had so much A+ content this month! (Hello, membership drive!) So much that I can’t list it out for you — again, if you are new here, that’s usually where this part of the letter goes — but I am going to send you directly over to our newly designed (!!!) A+ page, so that you can check out for yourself anything you might have missed!

Love,
Carmen / Rachel / Heather / Laneia / Sarah / Nicole / Riese

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From May 2021

These posts were hella popular last month.

  1. QUIZ: Which Inanimate Object Is Actually Your Gender?, by Ro
  2. Quiz: Which L Word Side Character Are You?, by Riese
  3. Quiz: What Job Would You Have in a Lesbian Romance Novel?, by Sally
  4. May 2021: Here’s What’s New and Gay on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, HBO Max and Peacock, by Riese
  5. The 50 Lesbian and Bisexual TV and Film Characters With the Dyke-iest Swagger, by Heather / the TV Team
  6. What Is The Meaning of This Dianna Agron Gay Smooching Instagram Photo?!, by Heather
  7. Personality Quiz: What Chain Restaurant Appetizer Are You?, by Kayla
  8. I Still Can’t Believe “Friends” Was The First Time I Saw Myself On-Screen, by Drew
  9. Boobs on Your Tube: “New Amsterdam” Just Got Real… Real Gay, That Is, by the TV Team
  10. 25 Lesbian Movies on Hulu That You Can Watch Right Now For Fun If You Want, by Riese

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Stef: Happy pride here’s a gay cereal my friend bought

the make your own pronouns part with snap crackle and pop has sent me
KaeLyn: I don’t know what to do with this information, Stef
Abeni: i feel so affirmed that the terrifying strawberry-looking creature has come out
Stef: I think it’s an apple, with the cinnamon
They represent Apple Jacks, already a disappointing cereal
Nicole: This is too much. Also why did they give the flag to arguably the worst cereal??
This left me wondering if the chef was still the cinnamon toast crunch mascot (the only good cereal?) and I found this commercial where the cereal is using a General Mills cinematic universe version of tinder, so, happy pride:

Laneia: this tinder match resulted in cannibalism????!
Nicole: it did
all the cinnamon toast crunch commercials now revolve around cannibalism
Laneia: an extremely cavalier take on mankind’s oldest problem if you ask me

Vanessa: wait sorry i know she’s not queer but is this real

i need someone better at internet gossip than i am to help me
i am losing it if this is real?!?!?!
Carmen: Yeah I saw someone talking about it last week, I think we can assume it’s real
Abeni: also is that how some ppl spell mannequin or is that some other kind of thing?
Vanessa: Carmen that is so wild to me WHY is Kim Cattral going to space?! I’m nervous for her
And abeni great q I didn’t even notice that
Natalie: She really doesn’t want to be around for that reboot

Carmen: So Roxane Gay, Jacqueline Woodson, and Toshi Reagon are friends who throw dinner parties? I really would like to level up to this level of middle age dykeness.

Rachel: also lmao that this was the caption she went with
Carmen: I appreciate her honesty, no need to humble brag
Rachel: i know she’s a libra but truly a leo move to take a cute photo with all your friends and caption it (correctly) about how good you look
love it
Carmen: well now I want to know her whole birth chart because you’re right, there’s no way there’s no leo in there.
(also RACHEL I KNOW WHAT A BIRTH CHART IS!! Remember three years ago??? REmember?)
Nicole: She is like 90% libra apparently:

Carmen: nicole… how did you.. have that tweet on standby?
Nicole: as soon as rachel said she was a libra, i went hunting for her chart, found that tweet
Carmen: hahahaaaaaaaaa ok great i love this team very much
you are just some of my very favorite people on planet earth (yes my cancer is showing again)
Nicole: I also feel like it IS a Libra thing to acknowledge something like that publicly.
Rachel: omg
this teamwork!
nicole you could run a PI office just for tracking down and interpreting the astrology of famous queers
think about it
Nicole: lollll that’s just what Sadie and I do while making dinner
did not realize it was a whole PI office

Natalie: I’m curious what we think about this. I mean, on the one hand, I guess that’s good…but on the other, it sort of undermines the conceit of the show. Showrunner says Gossip Girl reboot’s cast of rich kids will be woke
Carmen: I was going to say that “woke Gen Z” feels probably right, because it is “trendy” to be social justice oriented, and so I’d expect a certain amount of that kind of performative wokeness even among rich kids
But… However… this quote right here?

As Variety points out, these fresh crop of Upper East Siders are “aware of income inequality. They take Ubers, not limos. They’re (mostly) not rude to service workers.”

Nah. That defeats the entire purpose of Gossip Girl.
Valerie: Yeah that just sounds like degrassi
Riese: it feels like there’s usually one character who is “woke” in the rich kid shows, the one who rebels against her parents
and usually they disown him/her and they have to like GET A JOB or find a place to crash and they’re like it’s fine anything is better than living with you unethical tyrants
and i’m always like… is it though
having a place to live is pretty nice when you’re in high school
anyhow
it would be weird to have that archetype be the entire cast
there’s also always the person whose parents are involved in something SHADY and they lose ALL THEIR RICHES and they have to hide it from their friends
and THEN WHAT
dad goes to prison, the house is re-possessed by the bank, nobody bothers to do what i would do which is to sell all your designer clothes and live off that money
Carmen: Riese… I can’t tell if you’re joking but that entire last two paragraphs is an actual plot from the original gossip girl

Shelli:

Valerie: can do!
Shelli: THANK YOU!
Rachel: lmao shelli i lost it at wilowah
Shelli: LOL I WAS HOPING THE WORLD WOULD GET IT
Rachel:YNH: How Are We Pronouncing WLW
Shelli: YESSSSSSS
Valerie: le-dollar-bean and wilowah are two of my favorite things tiktok has given me
and tiktok has given me a lot
Shelli: Maybe it can be the next dyke dictionary I write
Valerie: also that one video where the queer grandkid was trying to figure out what their grandmother was saying when she was asking if they were going to celebrate “ligibitty pride”
Rachel: omg

Rachel: excited to have found out via google image search about this other kristen arnett with a distinctly different vibe

Carmen: whoaaaaaaa. somewhere in the world there’s a kristen arnett mommy blogger and jc penny’s model (i assume) and i wish her much peace.
Rachel: ari revealed to me there’s a christian mommy blogger named Rachel Kincaid
Carmen: oh this doppelgänger game has taken a turn
the only other Carmen is a 1940s bombshell actress, who i’ve long used for cover to post all the gay shit i want without having to worry about turning up in page 1 of any google results
Rachel: an ally before her time

Heather: also natalie did you watch that wings/mystics game this weekend where they made lisa leslie talk about gay people live on national tv
Natalie: that’s funny. i didn’t hear about lisa leslie falling over and dying…which surely would’ve happened if they forced her to talk about gay people
Heather: hahahaha! yes that’s exactly what it was like! she was calling the pride game with lisa byington, and they did a great job, but at one point lisa b tried to talk about like how many gay fans and gay players there are, due to the pride game, and lisa leslie was like, “well. love… is… love. love. people love. and it’s love. and what i want to talk about is satou sabally’s footwork in the paint.”
to her credit, it’s the first time i’ve ever heard her encounter even the idea of gayness without reiterating that she’s straight.
Natalie: she probably stopped some WNBA fans during the break and offered make-up tips just to re-center herself.

AirtableAPP:
Updated 1 record in table Social Media in AS Editorial Calendar 2021:
It’s Your Anniversary: Craig David’s 7 Days is really about Lesbian relationships
Title
It’s Your Anniversary: Craig David’s 7 Days is really about Lesbian relationships
Published
6/2/2021
Social Media @s
Twitter Dani Janae @FigWidow
Sarah: OMG LOLOL SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS
Shelli: As soon as Dani talked about it on Twitter I ran to her and said let’s chat about expanding this tweet into an article for my anniversary series!
I was thinking of it that day because the album turns 21 this year and then she tweeted that I was like KISMET
Sarah: oh perfect
i literally just FEEL this song every time it’s on
Shelli: HONESTLY YES
and fill me in!!
Sarah: was it for real? damn sure. what was the deal???
yeah fill me in
ugh i love him
Shelli: Remember when he performed on love island
I died
Sarah: omg me TOOOO
they were like british accent oh wow it’s craig david.
lol anyway i’m bumping this in my home
now

Valerie: Is anyone else caught up on Big Shot? Does anyone else watch Big Shot besides me and Natalie?
Carmen: I have not! But I literally came thisclose to watching it just this very night!
I hope someone is gay!
Natalie: I am caught up… after having dropped it for a few weeks because those girls cannot really play basketball and it was hurting my soul to watch

Before There Was This Post, There Was This Conversation

Natalie: Riese!!

Drew: OMG
Carmen: OMG
IS THAT
IS THAT NEW FOOTAGE
Drew: THE FANFIC OF THIS
Carmen: ALSO
LOL
RIESE YOU CALLED IT WOW
Natalie: BETTE AND GIGI!!!!!!
Carmen: Riese… do you secretly work at Showtime now?
I really like the new tangerine color
WAIT I’M SORRY
I AM Re-Watching
IS THAT…. THAT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN… WAS THAT BETTE AND GIGI HAVING SEX
Drew: YES
Carmen: Am I losing it??
WAIT WHAT
LOLLLLLL
I am just like, taking this in waves, man
Drew: I’m here today because I am horny.
Carmen: Yeah @Riese FIVE ALARM ALERT
I think this should be a standalone? I also… don’t want to canabalize content
Natalie: WHERE’S RIESE
YES.
Carmen: I am going to call her in a second lol
60 second countdown for Riese to show up challenge

What We’ve Been Reading

A collage of book covers

Casey: Summer Fun by Jeanne Thornton and Big Girl, Small Town by Michelle Galen

Riese: May We Be Forgiven by A.M. Homes

Laneia: Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters and One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston and Victuals: An Appalachian Journey, with Recipes by Ronni Lundy

Heather: One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston and Winterkeep (Graceling Realm, #4) by Kristin Cashore

Natalie: The Cruelty Is the Point: The Past, Present, and Future of Trump’s America by Adam Serwer

Drew: The Chaos of Longing by k.y. robinson

Meg: One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

Kayla: Let The Record Show by Sarah Schulman

You Can Check Out But You Can Never Leave (Cara Delevigne’s Vagina Tunnel)

Carmen: Hello which of these feature images most say “Cara Delevingne’s Home Has a Vagina Appreciation Tunnel, That Checks Out”

My only regret today is that I found out this news too late to make it a stand alone, really.

Rachel: wow i think

didn’t wake up psychologically prepared to have to make this call but i hope i rose to the occasion
Nicole: agree
am also not really prepared for this photo but here we are

Your Bone Bone Horoscope Going Into July 2021

It’s a confusing time – it’s summer and we want pleasure & connection and also aren’t sure whether we can trust either. It’s hard to know what internal resources we even have anymore; where to spend and where to save. Bone Bone does not have the answers to those questions but reminds you that no matter what choices you have available or choose to make, you still have the option to explore play & recreation; give yourself the opportunity to try playing like a kid and let yourself emotionally run through a sprinkler again.

I Know You Didn’t Think We Were Done Talking About the Couches, Did You?

Meg:

Stef: oh no
Sarah: WOW lolol
Christina: I heard the siren call
Valerie: how many fosse dancers were sacrificed in the making of this couch
Rachel: this is why they’re endangered now
Meg: i knew those hands reminded me of something
i’m so sorry but now i’m just fully obsessed with this fucking couch

he put his trauma into the couch, and now it’s a cursed object
Rachel: horcrux
Laneia: maybe forcing the entire world to reckon with your bad high school poetry is the greatest revenge
KaeLyn: Honestly forcing your high school poetry on everyone in the world feels Peak Chaos Bi.
KaeLyn: Pitch: AS writers take artistic photos of their actual couches and espouse how they are representative of their most personal identities.
Stef: also he’s just the guy who inspired the couch. those four people are the actual artists, i didn’t catch it earlier but one of them is listed as an ally lol
KaeLyn: Pitch: 7 Real Bisexual Couches: We Believe You
Stef: the one who made the progress couch
and the vaginal geode asexual couch

team jumping: Rachel, Laneia, Riese, Sarah and Carmen (Laneia is not jumping)

XOXO

Team Autostraddle

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Carmen Phillips

Carmen Phillips is Autostraddle's former editor in chief. She began at Autostraddle in 2017 as a freelance team writer and worked her way up through the company, eventually becoming the EIC from 2021-2024. A Black Puerto Rican feminist writer with a PhD in American Studies from New York University, Carmen specializes in writing about Blackness, race, queerness, politics, culture, and the many ways we find community and connection with each other.  During her time at Autostraddle, Carmen focused on pop culture, TV and film reviews, criticism, interviews, and news analysis. She claims many past homes, but left the largest parts of her heart in Detroit, Brooklyn, and Buffalo, NY. And there were several years in her early 20s when she earnestly slept with a copy of James Baldwin’s “Fire Next Time” under her pillow. To reach out, you can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram, or her website.

Carmen has written 716 articles for us.

15 Comments

  1. we don’t talk enough about how sarah can do a casual double hook just whenever the mood strikes

    • it’s true that bc i was in back to back dance teams most of my formative years that a victory jump is second nature!

  2. I’m just going to say here that I am always so impressed with how good Sarah is at jumping in photos! How do you do it! Your jumps always look fantastic!

    • i would like to thank the academy for giving me this opportunity, as well as the years i spent on various dance teams. shout out to my mom! happy pride!

  3. re: bone bone horoscope – let’s also not discount the possibility of letting ourselves actually run through a sprinkler again!!

  4. Heather I would love to know what you think of winterkeep! bitterblue should kiss more girls and that’s about all I truly retained

    • Yes, I do agree with that assessment! There was so much queerness in that book, I felt genuinely surprised she didn’t have more lady lovers! I loved it though. I am a smitten kitten with all those Graceling books. I’ve probably read the first one 20 times. Kristin Cashore just gets better and better to me. This one, I especially was into the blue foxes, silbercows, and the Keeper especially. Having chapters narrated from their POV was my absolute favorite thing. How did you feel about so much Giddon POV? We’ve never spent that much time inside the head of a dude in one of Cashore’s books. Also! Have you read Jane, Unlimited?

    • oh man i have also read the first graceling book literally dozens of times! i plan to get a quote (there’s no shame in crawling when one can’t walk) tattooed in a future when i have money

      i dunno i was never the biggest fan of giddon and something about him being fully an adult when he met child bitterblue for the first time does not sit right with my spirit in re: his crush?

      i would love an entire book narrated by the silbercows, foxes, and keepers tbh. ALSO my girl lovisa?? an incredible addition to the Strong Cashore Ladyverse. i want to know everything else about her life and how the Torlan political landscape is going to shift.

      i loved loved loved jane, unlimited!! it was ofc very experimental in terms of style and format but it also felt so incredibly accessible. also every reread i notice more and more details that carry over between the genres

      also have you heard that apparently the next graceling realm book will be hava-focused?

  6. Is the Kim Cattrall thing the actual mannequin of her from the movie Mannequin (1987)?

    • On another look it seems like the commenter was just making a joke that depends on knowing she was in Mannequin

  8. do you guys think the apple and cinnamon from apple jacks have explored each others bodies?

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