you need help Archives

non-binary

you need help

A silver closet rod with four wooden clothes hangers hanging from it. The back wall of the closet is a bright mint green.

gender

You Need Help: How Do I Navigate Misgendering as a Nonbinary Femme?

Your work is not to make yourself more palatable to those who might misunderstand you. Your work is to be your glorious full self, too complex to be pigeonholed by…

Darcy —

Jul 18, 2023

you need help

a woman with short brown hair texts on her phone with pursed lips

breakups

You Need Help: Should I Go No Contact With My Ex?

Exes don’t HAVE to be friends but also don’t HAVE to be enemies.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Jul 11, 2023

you need help

a young East Asian woman with bangs has her face shrouded in shadow

love + sex

You Need Help: Am I Being Unreasonable for Feeling Undesired by My Girlfriend?

I think the topic of Asian desire doesn’t get nuanced attention often enough.

himani —

Jul 4, 2023

you need help

an androgynous person in overalls and tattoos looks sad, sitting next to a femme person with a black top and ripped jeans

parenting & family

You Need Help: My Sister Loves Me, the Sinner, but Hates the Sin

I’ve been willing to put this aside and accept the love she’s willing to give me. But it’s all come to a head now that my health insurance finally approved…

himani —

Jun 27, 2023

you need help

a woman holds her arms over her eyes dramatically

relationships

You Need Help: How Can I Make Long Distance More Bearable?

Long distance will always be challenging; here are the ways you can strengthen the way you navigate those challenges.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Jun 20, 2023

you need help

a queer white woman looking pensively into the distance. she has long blonde hair with a grown-out undercut on the sides. a brunette woman with a widow's peak is hugging her from behind.

dating

You Need Help: How Do I Convince My Girlfriend That I Care?

It sounds like she’s looking for something you just can’t give her, and that’s okay. Your life is very full at the moment. It’s not too full for the right…

Darcy —

Jun 13, 2023

you need help

dating

You Need Help: I’m Uncertain About Wanting Kids, So Should I Only Date People Who Are Uncertain Too?

I’ve changed my mind about wanting kids throughout life, and that’s okay.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Jun 6, 2023

you need help

two women look sad while flanking another sad woman and trying to comfort her in bed

breakups

You Need Help: How Can I Plan for a Bad Breakup?

A breakup is a huge loss, and sometimes that doesn’t even just mean losing a person but other parts of your life, too.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

May 30, 2023

you need help

a woman is sitting on the couch reading a book, and she pops her head above the pages to make a truly shocked face: eyes wide, eyebrows raised, mouth open! she's surprised!

friendship

You Need Help: Should I Ask My Friend on a Date Even if I Think She’ll Say No?

I’m reading Michelle Elman’s book “The Selfish Romantic” and she talks about how we can never really know unless we ask. And I feel like this is low enough risk…

Casey —

May 23, 2023

you need help

a piece of graph paper that says "guest list" lies on a table with a black pen surrounded by little pink roses

lesbian weddings

You Need Help: Should I Invite My Friends’ Whole Polycule to My Wedding?

You can invite or not invite whoever you want to your wedding.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

May 16, 2023

you need help

Two women are having an argument. One looks like she is trying to talk, while the other turns away and puts her hand up, signaling her to stop and that she doesn't want to listen.

friendship

You Need Help: Your Friend Takes Everything Super Personally

What I hear from the anecdotes you shared is someone who is deeply lonely and feels deeply unseen, but you can’t be your friend’s therapist, even if you want what’s…

Em Win —

May 9, 2023

mental health

you need help

a beautiful forest, filled with trees and a pale yellow trail, with a beam of sunlight coming through the trees and lighting the way forward

life

You Need Help: How To Stay Sober

Do y’all have any podcasts or books or anything you’d recommend for someone who hasn’t been sober since they were thirteen?

danijanae —

May 2, 2023

you need help

Most Popular

‘I Want To Change My Name Again’

‘I’m Lost in the Gender Expression Sauce’

‘My Partner Is Hurt I’ve Changed My Mind About Having a Baby’

‘I’m a Sexually Inexperienced Stud Afraid of Doing It Wrong’

‘My Wife and I Haven’t Had Sex in Almost Two Years’

‘How Can I Be a Good Girlfriend When My Partner Is Extremely Anxious About Sex’

‘I Just Realized I’m Bi and Am Extremely Anxious’

‘I Want Femme Lingerie That Accommodates an Abundance of Pubic Hair’

‘Is It Okay if I Stay in Love With My Best Friend?’

‘I Want To Be With a Woman, but My Inexperience Makes Me Feel Really Insecure’

‘I Want To Change My Name Again’

‘I’m Lost in the Gender Expression Sauce’

‘My Partner Is Hurt I’ve Changed My Mind About Having a Baby’

‘I’m a Sexually Inexperienced Stud Afraid of Doing It Wrong’

‘My Wife and I Haven’t Had Sex in Almost Two Years’

‘How Can I Be a Good Girlfriend When My Partner Is Extremely Anxious About Sex’

‘I Just Realized I’m Bi and Am Extremely Anxious’

‘I Want Femme Lingerie That Accommodates an Abundance of Pubic Hair’

‘Is It Okay if I Stay in Love With My Best Friend?’

‘I Want To Be With a Woman, but My Inexperience Makes Me Feel Really Insecure’

You Need Help: How Do I Navigate Misgendering as a Nonbinary Femme?

You Need Help: Should I Go No Contact With My Ex?

You Need Help: Am I Being Unreasonable for Feeling Undesired by My Girlfriend?

You Need Help: My Sister Loves Me, the Sinner, but Hates the Sin

You Need Help: How Can I Make Long Distance More Bearable?

You Need Help: How Do I Convince My Girlfriend That I Care?

You Need Help: I’m Uncertain About Wanting Kids, So Should I Only Date People Who Are Uncertain Too?

You Need Help: How Can I Plan for a Bad Breakup?

You Need Help: Should I Ask My Friend on a Date Even if I Think She’ll Say No?

You Need Help: Should I Invite My Friends’ Whole Polycule to My Wedding?

You Need Help: Your Friend Takes Everything Super Personally

You Need Help: How To Stay Sober