you need help Archives

An East Asian woman with shoulder-length black hair and brown hairs stares out a window with her arms wrapped around her chest. Trees are visible through the window.

You Need Help: I’m Disabled — Will I Ever Find Love?

Disabled and chronically ill people are powerful and sexy and worthy of love, and that means you’re all of those things, too.

Ro White

—

May 17, 2022

two women sit on a couch talking to each other, looking serious and maybe a little sad

breakups

You Need Help: I’m Still in Love With My Ex and Can’t Stop Asking Our Friends About Her

If you want to get over her and not miss her, you have to get out of her orbit for a while.

danijanae

—

May 10, 2022

a queer party, two girls with long hair lean against a wall flirting and touching each other, other folks are in the foreground doing their party thing

the scene

You Need Help: How Can I Learn To Enjoy Gay Clubs?

Try to let go of the need for perfection on the space and on yourself. Instead let that bliss find you whenever it’s meant to find you.

Drew Burnett Gregory

—

May 3, 2022

Young woman sitting at a table using mobile phone.

gender

You Need Help: I’m a Trans Woman Looking For Affirming Lesbian Content

The point is this: it sucks that we still have to struggle with inclusion in lesbian community, your feelings are valid, and I hope you’ll be OK whether or not…

Abbie Jones

—

Apr 26, 2022

A transmasculine gender-nonconforming person with short blond and bright red hair and a transfeminine non-binary person with long brown wavy hair, waking up together in bed. The person with brown hair is looking into the distance as though thinking about something.

relationships

You Need Help: Am I Still Into Non-Monogamy or Not Really?

How do I navigate not knowing for sure whether monogamy or non-monogamy is for me? And how do I communicate that to my partner and my sexy friends?

KaeLyn

—

Apr 12, 2022

Closeup portrait of a Black woman laying in bed alone, feeling lonely, going through a breakup

breakups

You Need Help: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I know I must sound like a broken record: “break up…break up…break up!” But I truly think that you both deserve the kind of relationship where your needs are being…

danijanae

—

Mar 29, 2022

a woman sits in the foreground looking miserable and left out, while her girlfriend sits with two friends in the background, looking at her with dismay

relationships

You Need Help: My Girlfriend Has No Queer Friends, Is That a Problem?

This is very clearly your problem, not your girlfriend’s problem, and resolving it will be your work, not hers.

Abbie Jones

—

Mar 22, 2022

A frustrated young woman standing in front of her closet, hands on her head, looking at a bunch of outfits and not knowing which one to pick.

coming out

You Need Help: I Can’t Figure Out What I Should Wear and Who I Should Date

You don’t need to have one particular vibe, type, or style. You don’t have to have it all figured out now, next week, or next year.

Em Win

—

Mar 15, 2022

Single woman in a swing on the beach at sunset reaches out to the empty swing beside her, seems sad

dating

You Need Help: I Hate Not Having a Girlfriend

Why do you want a girlfriend? Why do you dislike being single? I’m serious! I want you to ask yourself these questions and come up with as many answers as…

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

—

Mar 8, 2022

A frustrated Black woman feeling despair sits by her computer in a shared office holding her head in her hands.

money + work

You Need Help: How Do I Deal With the Inescapable Sexism in My Industry?

Ultimately, your question is about how to find hope in the midst of the inescapable bigotry that defines the working world.

himani

—

Mar 1, 2022

blue watercolor image with different gradients of blue cascading across the screen, starting with deep dark blue on the far right and ending up with light light blue on the far left

life

You Need Help: Trying To Live Through the Pandemic Is Destroying My Mental Health

I want you to hold this: Even though the world is kind of terrible, your life is precious and valuable, and you are loved.

himani

—

Feb 22, 2022

Neon sign that says the word Love in light pink, on a white concrete wall background

love + sex

You Need Help: What Is Love?

The questions we get more frequently for this column than any other are about love, so we tried to answer: what is love?

the team

—

Feb 15, 2022

Account

About

you need help