you need help Archives

covid-19

quarantine

A woman in a white T-shirt with long, black hair holds her hand to her forehead and looks out the window.

breakups

You Need Help: My Partner’s Pandemic Practices Suck and I Want to Break Up

Transmitting a deadly virus doesn’t exactly say “I love you,” so it makes sense that this particular conflict is bringing up big questions about your relationship.

Ro White —

Dec 15, 2020

#PolyamoryProblems

advice

breakups

#PolyamoryProblems: How Do I Know When It’s Time To Break Up?

The idea of breaking up, and/or transitioning your relationship to platonic as somehow a failure or throwing something away is one of those pesky ideas we need to unlearn.

DaemonumX —

Dec 7, 2020

you need help

A distressed-looking woman with short hair looks out a window.

breakups

You Need Help: How Do I Get Over Breaking My Ex’s Heart?

Breaking up with someone does not make you an asshole.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Dec 1, 2020

you need help

A thin white woman in a baggy sweater stares into space, looking bored, at a café table with a glass of water in front of her

friendship

You Need Help: My Friend Is Late to Everything

“He has been, without fail, late to everything we’ve ever planned. His tardiness ranges from one to three hours. Sometimes, I wait an hour and politely ask “what’s your ETA?”…

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Nov 24, 2020

look into this

you need help

A troubled-looking girl biting her lip as she looks at the camera

coming out

You Need Help: I Just Came Out, and I Feel Weird

Coming out isn’t a magic trick that makes us suddenly understand ourselves completely.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Nov 17, 2020

you need help

A woman wearing glasses holds her fist to her chin and raises one eyebrow

breakups

You Need Help: Was I Ghosted Or Am I Their Backup?

The pandemic has made ghosting easier for those who might otherwise act like mortals.

Ro White —

Nov 10, 2020

#PolyamoryProblems

advice

Two people sit far away from each other, arms crossed, body language indicating they are fighting. Text on top of the image reads Poly Probs.

relationships

#PolyamoryProblems: The Way My Partner Engages With Her Other Partner Makes Me Uncomfortable, What Should I Do?

Boundaries are our manifestations of how we deserve to be treated and what we will accept from others.

DaemonumX —

Nov 2, 2020

education

look into this

An unsure-looking white person with a scarf tied into their long hair and wearing a choker looks off to the side and bites their lip nervously

coming out

You Need Help: I Never Imagined I’d Live Past 20. Now What?

Babe, I promise you’re right on time. In 2020 I can’t be sure of hardly anything, but I am sure that you are good. You belong right where you are,…

Adrian —

Oct 27, 2020

you need help

A person with long curly red hair and a very cute pair of thick black glasses, wearing a dark blue denim shirt, stares off to the left of the camera and thinks hard about their ex.

breakups

You Need Help: Am I Really “Over Them” Enough to Date New People?

There is no quantifiable metric for being over someone. If you’re ready to date, you’re ready to date.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Oct 19, 2020

you need help

breakups

You Need Help: How Can I Be a ‘Good Ex’?

Relationships change. Relationships end. It’s not inconsiderate to move forward; sometimes being a good ex means maintaining boundaries.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Oct 13, 2020

you need help

A Black person with loosely curled hair wearing quirky green-framed glasses, a septum piercing and a bright pink turtleneck looks off to the side nervously while tapping their mouth in a thinking gesture

dating

You Need Help: Is It Okay to Date My Ex’s Friend?

No matter how cautious we try to be, we are going to hurt people. The question then becomes: when is it worth it?

Drew Burnett Gregory —

Oct 6, 2020

#PolyamoryProblems

advice

relationships

#PolyamoryProblems: Opening Your Relationship 101

Welcome to the first installment of #PolyamoryProblems, a new advice column on Autostraddle. There are countless things I wish I had known before I started out, and lucky for you…

DaemonumX —

Oct 5, 2020