you need help Archives

advice

you need help

An Asian woman sits with her chin in her hands as she thinks pensively.

friendship

You Need Help: How Do I Stop Feeling Like A Loser After Rejection?

Mentally replacing “this person rejected me because I’m not enough” with “this person rejected me because we’re incompatible” or “this person rejected me because they have their own shit going…

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Sep 14, 2021

advice

you need help

frustrated woman is deciding if she should break up with her annoying girlfriend, she has dark curly hair clutches her head while making a pained expression

breakups

You Need Help: My Girlfriend is So Annoying, Should I Break Up With Her?

Your feelings about her are a great big neon sign spelling out the word B R E A K U P.

Vanessa —

Aug 31, 2021

you need help

Black woman with curly medium length hair sits on a bed, wearing jeans and a white tee, hugging herself with her crossed arms, looking away from the camera as though in thought.

sex

You Need Help: My Ex Got Mad That I Didn’t Want To Have Sex, Now I Can’t Trust Anyone

I have to start by getting this out: “Fuck your ex. FUCK THEM.” You are not to blame.

KaeLyn —

Aug 24, 2021

bisexuality

you need help

A person with shoulder length pink hair and rainbow overalls uses the bisexual pride flag as a cape during a pride march.

identity

You Need Help: Why Be Out As Bisexual?

There’s something about bisexuality that non-bisexual people project a lot of their fears and questions onto, maybe because it’s positioned as ‘other’ to everything else. So we become the focus…

meg —

Aug 17, 2021

advice

you need help

Two women sit far apart together on a beach

breakups

You Need Help: My First Girlfriend Broke Up With Me — Can We Be Friends?

Not every relationship is meant to last, and just because it ended doesn’t mean you didn’t learn and grow from it.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Aug 10, 2021

advice

bury your gays

Tara Maclay of Buffy the Vampire Slayer stands in front of a window with a shocked look on her face and a bullet hole over her heart

movie features

You Need Help: Can I Kill Queer Characters As A Queer Writer?

If queer creators are so worried about backlash from the community that we begin to self-censor, then the only interesting queer work will be made by straight people.

Drew Burnett Gregory —

Aug 3, 2021

advice

bisexuality

A photo of a man and woman sitting on a sofa; the woman looks off in a different direction as if lost in thought, a troubled expression on her face

relationships

You Need Help: Your Straight Partner Is a Great Ally – But His Parents Aren’t

Setting up boundaries around family members can be a complicated and painful thing, but doing so without the support of your partner will likely be more difficult, and could potentially…

meg —

Jul 20, 2021

you need help

Shot of three young entrepreneur women toasting with a bottle of beer to celebrate a success in the office.

friendship

You Need Help: Why Is My Coworker/ Friend/ Crush Pulling Away?

Are you wanting to repair the friendship as it currently stands? Or are you wanting to see if your friend wants more than friendship? Those are very different things!

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Jun 8, 2021

you need help

Two women standing inside a doorframe in a dark space, turning to look at each other

love + sex

You Need Help: I Thought We Were Both Switches, but My Girlfriend Won’t Touch Me

It sounds like your idea of your sexual dynamic with your girlfriend isn’t lining up with the reality of it.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

May 11, 2021

you need help

Two lesbians hold hands while laughing and sitting down. One lesbian is a brunette with a green mug and a grey shirt, one is a blonde with a flannel shirt.

friendship

You Need Help: How Do I Feel More Connected to the Lesbian Community?

This community would be so boring if we all had the same stories. And there’s no such thing as the “right” queer story.

Valerie Anne —

May 4, 2021

you need help

A close up shot of a white woman laying down in bed and clutching at her forehead as if in frustration or despair

sex

You Need Help: My Partner Says I’m Awkward in Bed

“Sex requires a negotiation of boundaries that’s more explicit than it is in other contexts, so it can be easier to see it when those boundaries are broken. But if…

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Apr 27, 2021

you need help

A distraught-looking teen girl sits on a couch, looking at her phone screen with concern as she runs her hands through her long hair.

parenting & family

You Need Help: How Do I Get Through Living With My Homophobic Parents?

You do not need to feel guilty about the ways you’re hurting.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Apr 20, 2021