Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us #33

This edition of Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us is part of the 13 Days of A+. From December 13 through December 25, we’re celebrating the people who literally keep our lights on, who believed we could make it through 2020, who invest and participate in this community through challenges and growth and change — that’s YOU. It’s truly magical to have so many guardian gayngels looking out for this space, and we’re so delighted to be able to do something a little special for our queer fam to close out the year. Some of what we publish for the 13 Days will be cozy and familiar, like Into the A+ Advice Box and Some Answers to Some Questions You’ve Been Asking Us. Some of it will be a twist on regulars; we have Malic White as a guest editor for two installments of the erotica series S L I C K for one… and the rest? We’re going to keep those pieces all boxed up in scissoring-patterned wrapping paper until they publish. We’re looking forward to spending some time with you. 💙


Questions from the A+ Inbox were taking up such an enormous portion of the A+ Insider that we started dedicating an entire post to them instead! This A+ feature is now bi-monthly and advice questions go into our twice monthly Into the A+ Advice Box. We think this will be a lot of fun for the whole family. We’ve included as many questions as we can. We love you and your hair looks fantastic today!

an illustration of some members of the senior team: left to right, Carmen, Kamala, Riese, Laneia, Sarah and Rachel


MERCH, BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

Q: I don’t understand how to like comments in the new system. It’s really confusing me more than it should. Could you include really dumbed down directions on how to like comments now for well meaning but basically incompetent people like me? Thanks

Kamala: I am not an expert so this is just a layperson’s take, but I think that you log into your account, and click on the blue star icon with “Like” next to it at the bottom of a comment, and then it turns yellow, and you’ve liked it.

Q: It would be awesome if you all could put together several little collections that we could buy, like the zines you did in years past but thinking instead of collections of published essays from the past 10+ years from this site on a theme: LGBTQ history/herstory, personal writing, writing by Mey/Drew/Abeni/Annika and others on trans stuff, writing on being queer and religious, etc. I’d totally pay for the print versions of these to sit on my shelf/give as gifts!

Riese: Ok SO I love this idea BUT the ‘zines ended up not really paying off for the amount of work that went into producing them (although I’m still glad we did them because they are beautiful works of art) — but of course of course I do love this idea so I would love to hear more from you and anybody else reading this about exactly what you’d love to see and in what format and how produced and how much you would like to pay for it?? Tell me more!

Q: Do you have a filter or tag for SFW content? I’m writing a list of resources to get my coworkers educated on LGBTQIA issues.

Carmen: Do you mean like some kind of filter that will essentially clear out all the sex content from our homepage? I don’t beleive we have that kind of capability, however I would recommend sending your coworkers specific articles of ours that you find informative or relevant, then you can self-select out all the sex content and focus on what matters to you!

so much to love on the homepage, I don’t know how I’ll read it all!!! Yall are doing such beautiful work <3 THANK YOU Kamala and Carmen and team!

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

Q: IDK where else to put this but I PASSED THE BAR EXAM ON MY FIRST TRY and now I get to live the Badass Queer Lawyer Life I’ve been dreaming about since I was a teenager.

Kamala: Congrats, we need your queer law badassery in the world!!

Carmen: AHHHHHH!!! CONGRATS TO A BADASS QUEER LAWYER!!! I’m so excited and proud and happy!! Yaaaaay!

Nicole: WHAT FANTASTIC NEWS!!! Congratulations on realizing your teenage dreams!!

Q: For those of us who need something to do some 💦cleanup💦during/after sex and either can’t afford or don’t want a Liberator, let me tell you about THE SUCKER: https://luxurymicrofiberstore.com/products/moses. $34 for a 34×28 inch washable/dryable thick microfiber towel and designed for some heavy-duty clean up. My girl and I have two; we use them constantly. They keep our bed dry and soak up any misses quickly and effectively.

And as a bonus, the company is clearly some guy selling car cleaning stuff; all the names for everything are ridiculous and so gay (I just got an email for their BIG DADDY PACK).

Rachel: This is amazing?? I am DYING at the name, putting it in the same mental category as those kitchen scrubbers that are Daddy-branded for reasons unclear to me.

Q: In case you find this amusing, there are currently 9 works on AO3 that have “autostraddle” in the description. Seems like they’re mostly inspired by articles. There’s a “Dead TV Lesbian Characters Anonymous support group”.

Heather: This has delighted me to my very core! I went to AO3 to look them up, obviously, and am deeply delighted to see that one of these is a Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau fic that I will absolutely be reading.

Carmen: I’m just thankful to know that none of these are about us.

Q: I read this piece by Britni and can’t get it out of my head.

Carmen: UGH LOVED THAT PIECE!

Q: In case you haven’t heard, I saw on instagram that Tegan and Sara are selling masks to raise funds for the Native Women’s Centre of Montreal.

Heather: Thank you for the heads up! There are so many cool queer folks selling masks it’s hard to keep up, so we really appreciate the nudge!

Q: i made a jenny schecter reference around a bunch of baby queers and they DID NOT KNOW WHO SHE WAS AT ALL anyway i have never felt older in my life

Riese: I literally cannot imagine a queer life in which Jenny Schecter was not on my immediate radar and I am terrified for our future. Well… maybe I should actually be hopeful for our future. It’s hard to say. I wonder if this is how ppl slightly older than me feel about ppl slightly younger than me not knowing about all the lesbian folk-rock musicians of the 70s and like, Xena.

This is very last minute but apparently tonight there will be a lunar eclipse during what is called a “full beaver moon,” which just seems like something y’all would be into.

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION / ARTICLE IDEAS

Q: Any stories out there on queer homemaking or queer home ec? Im interested in how people reclaim traditionally “womens work” in the home, whether that is working as a stay at home parent, or just how to generally stand up to societal expectations that want you to be either June Cleaver or a suffering laborer for capitalism. Whats a home-based queer to do? What does it feel like to both reject and claim that sphere, can you do it in the city, the burbs, rural areas? Generally interested in how people are choosing to live their authentic lives. Thanks!

Riese: I think others will chime in with their own experiences/readings in this area but I can offer a few small morsels of things I remember us publishing:
AM-PM: Reclaiming Domesticity – Ari writes about this concept so well here and everywhere they write words
Green-on-Meghan O’Malley: The Autostraddle Interview – This is like… one of the first articles we ever published in the history of Autostraddle? Laneia interviewed the creator of the blog “Queering Domesticity,” who talks about being a gay housewife and loving the home!
Anarchist Housewife: The Kit, by our very own Rachel — lots of recs for outside reading in here!
Baby T-Rex Series: I think Kaelyn’s columns about getting pregnant and having a baby and then raising that baby grapple with a lot of the questions you are asking!

Rachel: Ari also has a substack newsletter devoted to queer domesticity, I bet you would love it!

Nicole: I did not know about Ari’s newsletter, Rachel! I love this! Have signed up!

Q: What are your hopes and goals for SLICK? Are there certain writers, artists, themes, content you would like to see covered in the future?

Kamala: : My main hope was to have a lot of different kinds of takes on the erotic, because it’s so many different things to so many different people. This month, and also in my absence, we will be having guest editors choosing the stories for S L I C K. Having looked over both of Malic White’s stories for 13 Days of A+, I think it’s going to be really fun to have new people curating the series! I liked to focus on smaller fiction writers who I think have a way with words and try to get them to write queer erotica just for us, and also mix in a few seasoned erotica writers. Malic has some talented performers sharing stories with us, and I think everyone will bring their own style to it. If there things you’d like to see more of you, please let this team know!

Nicole: Here to say, please let us know (in the comments, via the A+ box) if you have dreams for S L I C K! Also have you checked out the most recent piece by Jasmine Henri Jordan, edited by Malic? I was like: EXCUSE ME there are footnotes in this erotica! Love it.

Q: Can someone make a playlist of anthems for bottoms? Or does one already exist on the site? Thank you.

Carmen: I don’t know if we have one on the site, unfortunately. But I agree it’s a great idea!

Q: Can we get a “best winter jackets for lesbians” type article? Sincerely, a lesbian looking for a winter jacket ❤️

Carmen: As a queer woman also looking for a winter jacket, I’ll see what I can make happen when we get back from holigay break. (You might already have a jacket by then? If you do, I bet it’s cute!)

Nicole: Here to second that I would also love this guide.

Q: The daughter of some friends of mine recently came out to them as pansexual. I’m just a plain old dyke, and I’m puzzled: how is pansexual different from bisexual?

Rachel: This is a great question, and you are not wrong to be puzzled! You can ask different people this and get different answers; I can give you mine. My understanding of how people “define” pansexuality is that they’re attracted to folks of all genders, or that gender isn’t a limiting characteristic for them in partners. The working definition most bisexual folks use for bisexuality is “attracted to their own and other genders.” If it sounds to you like there isn’t much of a functional difference between those things, that’s because there isn’t! Most folks don’t differentiate much between them; some folks ID as pan because they (mistakenly) understand bisexuality to refer to being only attracted to men and women and not nonbinary people, or only cis men and cis women and not any trans people (again, to be clear, this is not the case; many bisexual people love & date trans people; many bisexual people ARE trans people). You don’t need to stress out a ton over this terminology! If it comes up and you’re friendly with the daughter, you could certainly ask her what the term means to her personally and why it’s important to her!

Q: How do I find my role in the revolution?

Rachel: i would start by thinking about a) your values and b) your skill sets; what do you care most about and what are you genuinely good at and can contribute? There is work to be done all over, and focusing on these things will help make sure you can be effective and also not burn out! What’s your role in the communities you’re already a part of now? Are you the person who always plans food for the potluck or holidays? Maybe you want to start getting involved in Food Not Bombs, or one of the (many) meal distribution programs for at-risk people who need to isolate during COVID. If you’re the type A planner of your friends and workplace with a million spreadsheets, you could be contributing to mutual aid orgs, direct action coordination or dozens of other things with admin skills and project management behind the scenes! A good start is to find a group in your area doing work that you care about and that speaks to your specific values and interests, and start showing up or demonstrating interest; if you keep going and build relationships and volunteer for things you think you can help with, you’ll find a groove!

Q: News outlets are reporting Lashana Lynch as a lesbian? Or possibly her iteration of 007? Or both? Please do a full investigation! Do I have a chance with her!

Heather: So! Our TV Team ABSOLUTELY did a deep dive on this when that headline popped up, but it turns out to be unsubstantiated and a zillion sites just ran with it after one gay site published it. I spent like three hours trying to figure out where the original site got that information, and I honestly think it’s because so many queer people read Carol Danvers and Maria Rambeau as a couple that “lesbian” kind of became associated with Lashana Lynch’s name! We couldn’t find anything to indicate that she’d come out or was even just publicly gal pal-ing around with anyone.

Q: First – I am so so grateful that Autostraddle exists! It helped me so much to find a sense of pride & self after I came out in 2018.

And now the actual reason I’m sending this: I noticed that there’s an older article linking to queer-run Etsy shops with several outdated links, and I don’t know if there are any plans in the works to update that article, BUT if there are, it would be so cool if you could include my little sister’s shop. She is bi and sells houseplants, which, as we all know, are super gay. Also the shop name is a dirty plant pun (Send Dirty Nodes?!), so wins all around here.
Anyway, thanks for reading my shameless big sister rambles.

Carmen: Sadly I don’t know which exact past article you are referring to here because we didn’t have a link. HOWEVER we can keep her shop in mind for future articles! Love a good big sister ramble. Thanks for sharing!

Nicole: As an older sister, I endorse your big sister shamelessness and also what a cute shop with such stellar reviews!

Q: Could Casey please interview Emily Danforth about everything “Plain Bad Heroines“ and ask her to write some Harper/Merritt/Audrey bonus scenes?

Rachel: We can definitely try! In the meantime, have you read Lindsay’s review?

Q: I started reading this story and thought “I bet she’s one of us.” By the end it’s “her partner, Raysa” – yep! Let’s give this woman some recognition and love and maybe you should ask her to write a piece for us?

Rachel Ugh unfortunately this is paywalled and I can’t read it, but I read this and it’s incredible! I would love to hear her thoughts on sustainable models for media, because wow, what she’s doing is incredible and also should absolutely not be necessary!

Q: Could you do a roundtable on “saying no”— as in not overextending yourself and drawing boundaries when it comes to family/friends/colleagues? It’s a tricky balance when you want to help and have the skillsets to do it. Just a suggestion!

Heather: This is a really good idea! It’s a skill that doesn’t come easy for most people, but it’s essential, and we all have so much to learn from each other about it. I know I, for one, have gotten MUCH better at it by watching my friends and co-workers do it.

Riese: I also love this idea and hope the editors do it! An entertaining thing to read in the meantime might be Brittani’s The Story of No.

Q: Can we get some service journalism for removing your ex from your life in the digital age? I just had to go through a year’s worth of google docs unsharing, spotify playlist recreating and deleting (spotify, please just let me remove playlist followers), etc, etc. Obvs I wish I could eternal sunshine myself from her life but in the absence of that there is so much more to do than just blocking her on instagram and calling it a day!

Rachel: This is such a good idea! I can try to solicit it!

Q: Hello! Will there be a Straight People Watch: Holidays 2020 edition this year? I’m aware that Erin isn’t writing for y’all anymore but if this was made into a fundraiser or ‘reach this amount and we’ll publish it’ I & my fiancee would absolutely contribute. It’s been a heck of a year and SPW is the delight and reprieve we need.

Carmen: We can keep this in mind for future fundraisers! Thanks for telling us what would motivate you.

Nicole: Thanks so much for sharing! Going to keep this and whatever brainstorms spring from it in mind for our next fundraiser!

Q: Hi guys! Just wondering if any of you have seen the queer storyline in the Indian Amazon Prime show Four More Shots Please! It’s with Lisa Ray and VJ Bani. You are welcome.
PS if you *have* heard of it, will you cover it??

Heather: I had not heard of it until just this second, but I will absolutely look into it immediately!

Carmen: I have been meaning to get into Four More Shots Please forever!!! Shelli actually wrote a small review of it in a recent installment of “Come Vibe with Me”

Q: Oh my gosh, Friendsgiving was the best and gayest holiday film I’ve ever seen!! Made by Nicol Paone and starring Wanda Sykes, Margaret Cho, Fortune Feimster, and a series of dykes personifying Lex ads! How has AS not reviewed it?!

Heather: This kind of blipped onto our radar for a second, but then fell away due to all the queer Christmas movies this year and also just the general state of the world/election overwhelm, etc. when this came out — however! I am so grateful you reminded me so I can watch and write about it (right after I watch Ma Rainey one more time!).

Q: I watched “Holiday Home Makeover with Mr Christmas” on Netflix, and it was some nice light, festive fluff. But it got me thinking, why are all these shows hosted by gay guys, macho guys, or (cis)husband-and-wife teams? Why are there no lesbian design/reno/make-over hosts? There’s got to be some out there…

Heather: I agree! I actually got hooked on that show called Property Brothers because there was a marathon on when I was in a waiting room for like four hours last year and every time I watch it, I’m like, THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER WITH LESBIANS. I just want to see dyke-y women walking around in boots with sledgehammers and tape-measurerers being bosses. Is that too much to ask?

Nicole: The sheer amount of condescending straight man content I have to watch on Youtube to learn how to do home projects is devastating, would be far better with queers!

Q: Don’t know if the TV team is aware, but the show “Big Sky” has a non-binary actor named Jesse James Keitel on it playing a recurring character. Their character is trans (she/her pronouns used by other people that know her), but not clear if the character is nonbinary or transfeminine.
Best Wishes,
Ava

Heather: Thank you, Ava! That is on our radar and I appreciate the reminder!

Carmen: Valerie Anne gave some light thoughts about Big Sky in our most recent Boobs on Your Tube!

Q: Hi! I was wondering if your team would have any thoughts about environmentally ethical sex toy purchases. I’ve been thinking about getting a new vibe, mainly for external use, and since they have electrical components and are often plastic etc etc, I kind of get hung up on environmental consequences. Do you have any thoughts about sex toys in renewable/recyclable materials, and long-lasting ones that might not need to frequent replacing?

Autostraddle already has a lot of great posts giving ethical consumer advice about queer and POC owned sex toy options, so I know this is the sort of thing you take seriously!

Rachel: When it comes to specifically vibrators,you don’t have a ton of leeway; there is this biodegradable vibrator, although I can’t speak to how powerful or effective it might be. If you need rumbly as opposed to buzzy sensations, this may not be a good fit, and does require batteries as opposed to being rechargeable (although I suppose you can use rechargeable batteries!). Personally, I think of them like appliances, like refrigerators or TVs, where they do contain elements that are not great but also are investments you hope to maintain for a long time. I would look for a workhorse vibrator that’s going to last a long time and be versatile; the classic Hitachi Magic Wand is beloved for a reason, and I’ve never had to replace mine (or anecdotally know anyone who has); and there’s truly a ton of info online about repairing them if it does break down! I’m not sure if these factors shift at all between the cordless vs. the original, but would welcome other thoughts!

Q: would you publish puzzles (like, wordy crossword-ish type puzzles) if someone pitched it to you as something they could create?

Rachel: I think that would be really fun! I’m not sure how it would work on our backend, and if we’d be able to try to make them something people can do digitally vs. something they’d need to print out and do by hand, but it’s worth pitching and we can talk about it! (In general, my advice is always to pitch; the worst that happens is that it can’t work out or we say to try again in the future, but there’s never any harm in asking!)

Hi!!! During the A+ advice-a-thon for Autostraddle’s eleventh birthday I asked about coming out as queer to my family. Meg and Casey replied and suggested doing so by e-mail or letter and I FINALLY did it today (seven months later)! They all received it really well, but of course the real test is how they act going forward. I’m just so glad to have told them. Tomorrow I tell my extended family, so hopefully that goes alright too. Thank you all for being awesome!!! (And esp Meg and Casey for their A+ A+ advice!)

MISC

Q: I just noticed (while reading Kamala’s interview with Patty Yumi Cottrell) that all of the links in the text are now for Bookshop instead of Amazon! That’s awesome!!! I’m so glad that y’all are taking that step away from it.

Nicole: We are trying!

Q: What are your favorite food blogs to follow? I’m realizing the few that I check most frequently are aggressively heterosexual and I’m just not here for that with my cooking anymore ya know?

Kamala: Some of my faves, though I’m generally more focused on POC cooking than on whether they’re queer or not!
https://www.instagram.com/twodykesandaknife/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/superfuckingsour/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/angela.dimayuga/
https://www.instagram.com/fromheadtotable/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/spiral_theory_testkitchen/
https://www.instagram.com/soleil_ho/

Carmen: All the cooking blogs I follow are also very straight, sorry my friend.

Nicole: This reminds me of how I wind up listening to like…ultra heterosexual, hyper-Christian podcasts in order to get gardening tips. I’m much more of a cookbook person, than a blog person, unfortunately, but I did find this Autostraddle article on queer cookbooks by Reneice from 2018. I’m sure there are more out in the world by now, too!

Q: For folks who are now newly preoccupied with Victoria Pedretti after Bly Manor, there is a short film from 2014 called Sole which stars her. Content warning for nudity, blood, dirt, scratching herself, and probably other things.

Also she’s likely queer because she lists Catherine Zeta-Jones as one of her first celebrity crushes in this interview.

Heather: Well, she has that Catherine Zeta-Jones thing in common with both Sarah and Christina, so you might be onto something here!

Q: What happened to the butt week photo gallery???

Nicole: We did not have enough butts! I don’t know what else to say, except that if in the future if y’all want a gallery of butts, you will have to send in your butts! A gallery of like 3 butts is a little too strange for us to publish. So, it was an idea that was liked in theory, but that failed in execution. I did mention that we wouldn’t be able to do this in the A+ e-news because we didn’t want to leave you in the dark (if you don’t open these emails, I put information for you in them!), but also I am sorry you were excited about this and then it couldn’t happen. Butt week as a whole was really special, though! 🍑

Q: I was high and thought of this idea that I can’t tell if it’s good or bad: a job board on Autostraddle? Gay jobs and gay adjacent jobs? 😅

Riese: Yes it is a good idea! We’ve talked about it a lot but never really had the wherewithal to assess the parameters of the project and what it would require of us as a team, technically and w/r/t content specifications and moderation, etc.

Nicole: I also dream of this, but as Riese said above, it would definitely be a project unto itself that would require dedicated resources and some time to figure out. So we would need additional resources (funds, time, expertise) to move this from dream to reality. That does not mean it will stay a dream forever, though, just that this is why it is still a dream for now.

Q: The recent AS jobs survey data got me thinking about how many of us work in nonprofits/ nonprofit fundraising, or fundraising in some capacity — there is a really cool BIPOC led community of fundraisers I learned about this year:

Community Centric Fundraising. I thought some folks may be interested in their resources, and/or submitting to their content hub. They pay $250/piece I believe? Anyways, just wanted to pass it along in case it’s helpful for any peeps out there who wants to dismantle harmful patterns of racism and whiteness in fundraising! ;)

Nicole: I was so excited when they launched! If you’re in the nonprofit / fundraising world, I highly recommend signing up for their e-newsletter. I’ve followed Vu Le’s blog for years, and was very curious to see what he was onto next after he announced he was resigning from his E.D. position, and of course it was something this awesome! If anyone reading this winds up writing for them or has written for them, I’d love to know about it!

Q: does anybody else — despite time, new partners, and absolutely no contact — still think about their First Big Love with some regularity? i am just wondering if this is a me thing, or an actual thing, lol.

Kamala: I think about all of my loves all of the time! And my First Big Love, I write about them constantly, they’re part of my self mythology. I do still talk to them, and we send each other memes about the dumb shit we used to do and dream of together — I can’t imagine not thinking about them, it seems totally normal to me. You’re going around in the world, having been greatly affected by someone, and I think there are always going to be reminders, good and bad, of those first times you shared intimacy.

Riese: Yes, I mean I’m writing an entire book in which the first woman I fell in love with is prominently featured, so! But like Kamala, I do think about all of my exes near-constantly. I wonder sometimes if I’d do so if I weren’t a writer — I’m moving right now and was staring at an entire box I’d dedicated to pictures and letters and gifts and etc from my ex-fiancee, like, should I throw this out? And I just couldn’t do it, and I’m not sure why. I have some weird sense of like honoring what I had with a person, no matter how much I eventually hurt or was hurt over it. I have boxes and folders for all my exes. I believe if you ever truly were in love with someone, that you will love them forever, and I do. Anybody close to me can tell you that I talk about my exes far too often. But I think I do that because in a way, I am talking about myself, and they’re all a part of me, their habits and ideas and thoughts and all the things we did together and the positive impact they had on me.

Nicole: I do! I think about my first big love, my first best friend, my second best friend, my ex’s grandmother who I became friends with who passed at 100 a few years ago (and who I visited after we broke up), about people who’ve hurt me — all on some regular basis. Like Riese said, I think that if someone made an impression on you and your life, that they’re part of you in a way. It’s normal to process and reflect on that. We don’t exist in a vacuum, and I feel like the way we occupy each others’ thoughts is evidence of just how interconnected and interdependent humans are meant to be.

I heard Drew on Morning Edition on NPR this morning!! so exciting to hear her interviewed for NewFest!

REALLY NICE THINGS YOU TOLD US

Q: I just heard Drew on morning edition talking about movies! Great job Drew!

Drew: Aw that’s nice! I just woke up so I haven’t listened yet. Glad to know I sounded okay.

Riese: My sister-in-law texted me to say she heard someone from Autostraddle on Morning Edition and felt very proud of me even though it wasn’t me and it was great, so thanks Drew!

Q: just wanted to let you know that my partner and I are using this worksheet six years after it was published and I love the design of it!

Riese: Honestly that worksheet is a gift and I recommend it to everybody in the world.

Q: Thank you Casey the librarian – you have filled my life with so many wonderful books and I can share them! I don’t know what I’d do without you!

Casey: Aw that’s so nice! It warms my heart!

Q: Just wanted to send a big THANK YOU to the whole team and a shout out to Heather for introducing me to this absolute joy of a website! I’m recently out and living in a very rural state. While I’m lucky to have a few queer friends here, the community can feel painfully tiny at times, especially in a pandemic, and I’m single (also painful at times). But I stumbled onto Heather’s Twitter account a few months ago and started reading the AS articles she was sharing and now I’m here and reading every article I can get my hands on. Thank you!

Heather: Rural queer solidarity! I am so happy you stumbled onto my Twitter and it led you hear. This community has been a vital part of my life for so long, and especially a lifeline when I lived in north Georgia, and I hope you’ll continue to find things here that make you laugh and think and cry and most of all help you feel seen.

Nicole: Aaaah! Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for joining A+ and huge thanks to every A+ member because you literally make it possible for us to continue to exist and welcome folks to this community.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

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17 Comments

      • Oftentimes internal Autostraddle references seem to be
        [current Autostraddle site]”[target Autostraddle site]”
        (see links in section “HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS…” in this article)
        meaning you’ll get to the desired page by removing everything until the first “

        • ugh, I had an example with square brackets… voilà without any brackets

          currentASsite”targetASsite”

  1. Couldn’t agree more on the need for more lesbians and queerness in general in the home renovation show universe!! Omg! I seem to remember on Rehab Addict (I know 😑) there may have been some queer folks working on Nicole’s crew(?)

  2. I also don’t get the new liking of comments – every time I click like, it takes me to a wordpress login page but I don’t want that. If I press back, without logging into wordpress, it seems like sometimes the like stays (the star stays yellow) and sometimes not.

    • Yeah, and I’ve also found that the login I normally type in up at the top right of the page – typing my email and then password – doesn’t seem to be accepted as my login when I click on the like button. Even if I’m already logged in for commenting, clicking on the like star pulls up the wordpress login, but then I don’t know if it will only accept something other than my email address for the first line or what.

    • Yeah it definitely isn’t just about whether you’re logged into your AS account. When I’m logged into AS on my laptop (where I also occasionally use a WordPress account), I am able to like comments with no problems. When I try to do it from my phone, even when I’m logged in to AS, I get that same page requesting that I also log in to WordPress, and it doesn’t work.

    • Update: if I don’t log in to wordpress, my comments are actually not liked anymore after I leave the page and come back.

  3. I am glad that the mystery around the missing butts has been addressed! I did wonder if the original request was maybe a bit too hidden for folks to see? I am mostly saying this because, if so, this situation could be remedied with a post entitled “A Call To Arse” which is literally the best idea I’ve ever had.

    In general, I am very invested in seeing the butt gallery happen because to get the perfect bum shot I climbed the scaffold outside my flat and dropped my trousers and I don’t do that for just anyone you know.

    • This is good advice! We might have needed to make a bigger deal of the call than we did, like with a post! I am so sorry your serious efforts here were not put to good use!!

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