Questions from the A+ Inbox were taking up such an enormous portion of the A+ Insider that we started dedicating an entire post to them instead! This A+ feature is now bi-monthly and advice questions go into our twice monthly Into the A+ Advice Box. We think this will be a lot of fun for the whole family. We’ve included as many questions as we can. We love you and your hair looks fantastic today!

MERCH, BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

Q: THANK YOU FOR THE NEW LIKE COMMENT FEATURE LOVE YOUSSSSSS NOW I GET TO EXPERIENCE THE FLEETING VALIDATION OF PEOPLE LIKING ME ON THE INTERNET AGAINNNNN

Nicole: Thank you so much for liking the like feature!!

Q: Thank you for the comment like button! Its beautiful you are beautiful

Carmen: YESSSSS! So glad to have the much beloved and long missed “like button” back on the site! Anything that makes y’all happy makes us happy :)

Q: Is the like star available for everyone? How do I use it?

Nicole: Click the star! Click it to like the comment. I think you can also click the word “like” to like the comment. Hope that helps!

Q: I love the lightbulb on the SLICK stories Omg!!! So cute and helpful. Y’all are great!

And!! I love the colors on the Butt Week motif!!

Nicole: Thank you!! Sarah and the Yikes team worked to design that and also we couldn’t be more proud of all things Butt Week and the motif by Archie!

Q: I’d really like to see the “safe space” fleeces back in stock in the merch shop!

Sarah: I’m sorry bb, we retired that design! I promise we’ll have a lot of excellent new merch premiering during the holigay season!

Q: How long before the Latest Comments go back to actually being the latest comments? I’m assuming it’s a site update or fundraiser-related glitch, but I didn’t realize until it was “gone” how often I looked at that section.

Nicole: Sure was a glitch! We hope that it’s better now and maybe even improved!

Q: Ok did you all know that the orange and blue “Build Queer Futures with Autostraddle” logo has the same wave pattern as the We-Vibe Sync Remote App? Got a little WAP just looking at it.

Sarah: OOH! That’s because we probably both got our wave pattern from Shutterstock. Shout out to our image daddy!

Q: I love love LOVE the color scheme for all the fundraising posts, the stars tied into all the posts and on the separate fundraising website, AND how the “like” button is now a little subtle star! It’s just all really neat, bright, eye catching, fun— no surprise, it’s clear you put a lot of thought and effort into all of it! I love it!!

Sarah: EEE! Thank you so much. Love when someone notices the little details that I only think I’m noticing.

Q: What does this tag mean?

PICK AN ACTUAL CATEGORY, YOU STRANGE GENIUS

Heather: That is a category you should never see, actually, because it’s the default category for every new post and it’s meant to instruct all of our strange genius writers and editors to actually choose a category for their posts and not let it publish to the default. If you see that, we made a mistake!

Q: more merch ideas: beanie with an embroidered patch of carol the dog’s face on it, blanket that says “make it gay you cowards” on it (for snuggling under while yelling at the tv), carolstraddle commemorative fanny packs, “be right here/be real queer” A Camp style wall hangings/art

Nicole: Thank you so much for the merch ideas. I do love a good fanny pack!

Q: Hi there! I have a tech-ish question for ya.

I use a couple tracker-blocking extensions on Firefox (Privacy Badger and Decentraleyes, specifically). While I have them disabled for AS, I was wondering whether I also need to disable them for affiliate sites after I click the link. Since the url changes once I start clicking around I can’t tell if it’s still working, even if I do disable the blockers. Any thoughts? Thank you, stay hydrated and unclench your jaw <3

Nicole: Wow so this sent me to Reddit where I think I found that the answer is…that tracker-blocking extensions could disable affiliate links in some way. I can’t speak to your individual situation, but if you wanted to be certain that we’re getting the affiliate commission when you’re shopping for things you would shop for anyway, I guess you could temporarily turn your extension off? I hope that’s helpful! I’m not super sure and I’m not sure how we’d check since each affiliate site is different and there’re different extensions and blockers out there, too. Thanks so much for looking out. 💖

Kamala and Carmen are amazing, Butt Week is genius, and Shelli for president

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

Q: Ah Heather!! My (very heterosexual) cousin just sent me a screenshot of one of your tweets reposted to Instagram. It’s the one about the guy knocking on your door to ask if you are the lesbian who saves cats. You’ve crossed over into straight Instagram!

Heather: Hahaha, what! This DELIGHTS me! I’ve infiltrated them like a black-ops mission without even trying! Maybe I can get them to stop having gender reveal parties!

Q: someone plz buy this for heather

Heather:

Q: Y’all! Did you know in the movie “Sensitivity Training” an AS link is seen on screen? You can watch the movie on Prime. At 52:05, you can see this website link: https://develop.autostraddle.com/how-to-have-lesbian-oral-sex-197537/

Carmen: Well that’s fun!

Sarah: Woah, I love that!

Q: How is this Vogue’s takeway?

“Alongside a snap of Delevingne wearing a sweatshirt adorned in Gerber’s name and face, another of the two protesting in hers-and-hers blonde chops, and yet another of a shared sweater, the delicate ink felt like an appropriately sweet (and punny) homage to the duo’s bond. A diminutive tattoo is, after all, the modern iteration of the friendship bracelet, and a pleasantly irreverent one at that. And what better way to mark a 2020 birthday than with a reminder to stay silly?”

Heather: Wow, those three sentences contained multitudes. I’m not even sure where to focus. Tag yourself; I’m “yet another shared sweater.”

Q: Loving the (increased?) vapid fluff/pop culture content. Great to see the WNBA coverage, Holland Taylor, Ruby Rose, Janet Mock and everyone else. I am reading so much AS these days! Thanks

Carmen: I don’t know if the vapid fluff content has increased necessarily, but I definitely agree, what we’ve had recently has been really fun.

Q: Double olympic gold medalist boxer Nicola Adams to be a same sex couple in Strictly Come Dancing (British Dancing with the Stars)

Rachel: Omg Nicola Adams has been my celeb/athletic crush forever and this is the best news I’ve personally experienced in months, thank you so much

Q: Is anyone else thinking about all the amazing group sex possibilities in the wubble?

Carmen: Hahahahaa, well not before now I hadn’t.

Q: Ok there may have been coverage about this and I may just have missed it, BUT if y’all haven’t seen the lesbian nightmare that is Shannon Beveridge/FLETCHER’s recent POST BREAK UP collaboration in FLETCHER’s EP entitled “S(ex) tapes” (send help that TITLE) that is directed/shot by Shannon and seemingly about their break up and 4 year relationship that was hidden until recently – fam it’s crazy. The L Word has come to life – there is footage of fletcher saying she wants to get married even though they are broken up, someone explain to me why they decided to do this break up album together, there are clips of voicemails in the videos, there’s a song called sex with my ex, it’s a full on lesbian fever dream – please advise.

Heather: Holy cats, I’m going to need Stef to even break down what all you have revealed here so I can understand it! I feel like you just wrote out an entire series of TikToks! However, I will say that I wholly support breakup albums because how else would we have gotten Rumours and who knows where there next Rumours will come from? (There will never be another Rumours, but even something a tenth as good would be iconic!)

Q: All-consuming need to share: text banking for the election has been a really good way to try out a new name! Introducing myself over text to hundreds of strangers who call me by that name without question, while doing something useful. I suppose phone banking might be similar, for people who wouldn’t rather chew off their own toes than make phone calls.

Carmen: I love literally everything about this so much!! Congrats on your new name, and also — sincerely — thank you for text banking!

Nicole: Just also here to thank you for text banking!

Q: If you need a happy read this filled me with warm queer joy.

Heather: This story is so lovely and these photos are so beautiful and this lede is once-in-a-lifetime: “JodyAnn Morgan wasn’t expecting to catch a glimpse of her future wife while working as a security guard when the circus was in Brooklyn in February 2016. But the noisy chants of children and wafting concession stand aromas all seemed to pause for a moment as Chaya Milchtein walked through the security checkpoint.”

Q: This heart to heart between Abby McEnany and Lilly Wachowski from June this year is very raw and thoughtful. I really enjoyed it and it feels important to see other white queers struggling with the shitshow of our civilisation while trying to lift up our Black/Trans/GNC/Poor family through our work and art etc.

Also I love Work in Progress so much if there is anyone available on the staff to talk about it with me for a few hours every day please let me know. sure there’s a straight white billionaire somewhere who can finance this important project

Carmen: Oh how I wish we knew that billionaire so that I could make your dream come true!! Until then, thanks for sharing this video of Abby and Lilly. I agree, there’s some important conversations happening right now — especially between white people, cuz the rest of us have been having this conversation for a long time — about how to do things better. I hope the changes coming from these convos are deep-rooted and long lasting.

Q: listen i’m just a british lesbian who has never managed to watch a whole season of Strictly Come Dancing but this season has Nicola Adams dancing with a female partner and I am SO excited!

Heather: I KNOW! I love it so much; I’ve watched all of it on YouTube!

Q: I’m not sure if this is what people mean by “what lives in your head rent free?” but sometimes the Taylor Swift lyric “cuz shade never made anyone less gay!!!!” just loops through my head on repeat. This morning I thought “why didn’t she say ‘shame’ ??” Shame never made anyone less gay. Instead of this colossal misuse of SHADE as a concept.

Heather: It was actually Anne Landers who coined that phrase, about a zillion years ago: “Hanging onto resentment,” she wrote in her advice column, “is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” So you know, letting something stay in your head that agitates you without the agitator having to even spend any time or energy messing you up! However, your point completely stands and “shame” is a much better lyric there, and you’re also reminding me of this meme I was attacked with on Twitter not too long ago.

I follow my ex girlfriend’s rabbit on Instagram, but not her or her new girlfriend. Felt I should share.

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION / ARTICLE IDEAS

Q: Do any of you have any tips for books that are like “The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment“ by Jack Morin? According to the internet this book is a great deep dive into understanding your own sexuality but is a little heteronormative. So I’m looking for a queer version! Ideally a book with exercises to help you think through your desires.

Rachel: Great q! I know a lot of people like Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski, and Malic just wrote about a bunch of great books about queer sex overall in this post. Although it isn’t a book, I think you might also really resonate with this post by Christina Tesoro, which is trying to get at what you’re asking!

Q: Style thief: Jamie from Bly Manor? Just a thought as I find myself googling “women’s coveralls” at work this morning.

Nicole Ugh I also want this.

Q: It would be SO COOL if some of the print interviews on the site could also be recorded as podcasts.

Heather: This is a very cool idea and would probably be an excellent A+ perk, huh?

Q: Hello!

This is a question about strap-on harnesses. On this site, I’ve seen toys designed to be against the base of the dildo for pleasurable contact with a wearer that has a vulva. But, with my limited experience, I guess, I’ve never seen a harness that has a hole where the vulva would be, they are usually placed above that… Unless there are harnesses specially designed with this placement in mind? Where can I find them???
Thanks in advance!

Rachel: So depending on what kind of harness you get — there are so many styles and fits! — this can vary a lot, especially relative to your own body shape, which means the fit of each harness will be different for each person. Additionally, if you’re using a harness with adjustable straps (I’m wondering from your q if you’re mostly looking at underwear-style harnesses, like the Rodeoh) you can also adjust to a certain degree where different parts of it sit on your body. (Also this will maybe be confusing to picture but keep in mind that for most folks, your pelvis is tilted forward somewhat relative to your spine, so even if a harness is pictured sitting up perfectly straight and so it looks like the space for the dildo base will be on your belly, during wear it will likely be worn more forward and down.) It is a dizzying amount of options, though, and unfortunately it’s not the kind of thing you can necessarily try on in a fitting room at Old Navy to be sure it fits how you like! I usually use strap-style harnesses, and generally find they fit me more or less in the way you’re describing; the Jaguar line of harnesses in particular from Aslan Leather is designed for the base to be low-riding and aligned with a vulva, and they’re also excellent harnesses that will last you forever in great quality if taken care of. Here’s a guide you might find useful!

Q: Not advice, but a pressing question: Does anyone know what happened to all of Lyn’s credit card debt in Vida?? Did they just sort of drop it? I just finished the final season (mind blown) but/and I feel like it wasn’t really addressed.

Nicole: I also need to know about this!

Carmen: It’s not directly addressed to my memory either!! But I believe the assumption is supposed to be that the bar becoming financially successful would also be helping Lyn dig out of the whole as well. I think?? I mean that’s how it works, right? Get a job, do that job, pay bills, capitalism, etc.

Q: Is Ella Emhoff (Kamala Harris’s stepdaughter) queer? I gotta know! She’s a textile artist

Carmen: I’ve gone down this rabbit hole and have found no concluding evidence, but there sure are some visual clues afoot here!

Q: Are you going to have any articles about BTS? The amount of wlw who love them, I swear. I volunteer to write this piece as I jam out to Dynamite

Carmen: We’re talking about the K-pop band here, right? It’s not currently on the agenda, but maybe soon. I definitely believe you that they have many queer fans. I mean, have you seen those haircuts?

Q: Hi wonderful people of AS —

I am a baseball fan who has wanted to add the WNBA to my fandoms for a while now (I live in Seattle and am queer, what took me so long??). The problem is I don’t know much about basketball, where to connect with the fan community, etc. My usual strategy is to look for a podcast as an entrypoint, to listen to the conversations happening around the topic at the moment. However, I’m not finding any current WNBA podcasts? How is that possible? So here I am with my other go-to strategy: ask Autostraddle! Any suggestions on how to learn more and start following women’s basketball much appreciated. Thanks!

Heather: Oh boi do I have a treat for you! (I actually hope you already found this and had so much fun watching this season inside the wubble! I’m really missing having women’s basketball on TV four times a week!)

Q: Hil Malatino has a cool new book called TRANS CARE! it’s free to read online (or $10). Can we get a trans roundtable on it or interview Hil??

Rachel: We can, yes! Abeni is in fact writing about it for our website!

Q: Loving the season 5 recaps on To L and Back — it’s my favorite season and Shelli and Zeke were so much fun ! Please bring them back for some much-needed comic relief when you’ll get to that shitshow of season 6. Anyway, I’m enjoying Riese and Carly’s anecdotes from when the show was on and now I’ve GOT to read “An oral history of Ourchart”. I’m having so much nostalgia from my babygay years anytime it’s mentioned. Like it’s how I first read Staceyann Chin’s work.

Please !!! I’m counting on you team because it’s not like Vulture is going to do it.

Much love,
Sounder 3

Nicole: Thank you for signing off as Sounder 3! I also cannot wait for the Season 6 recaps though we certainly can’t reveal who any special guests might be!

Q: Hi! With the passing of RBG this weekend, I’ve been trying to focus energy in positive ways, and I just received (I’m living abroad) my ballot for the November election. I’m pretty comfortable voting down the ballot usually, looking up the different California propositions, reading different candidates’ stances and voting records, etc, but I’m having trouble with judges. I know judges are SO important but I just don’t know where to look to find out if, for example, a sitting judge in my county has been doing a good job or if a new person is needed. I guess I was wondering if some really smart political Autostraddle writer would want to give advice on those down the ballot votes, especially in cases like w/judges where we don’t have a political party providing helpful info — sort of a where to look for information and how to be a smart local voter! Anyway, just a thought, thanks for reading it! Love you guys and all your political coverage. You’ve made me smarter and savvier and more involved in my community/government.

Carmen: I also recently had this problem while early voting, for judges specifically in fact! I found this site with a supremely basic name (vote411.org) to have a surprisingly robust information on down ballot judges? There’s a questionnaire that people running for office fill out, and I learned a lot about who feels what about criminal justice that way. I also ended up googling quite a bit of the candidates individually, which was more hit-and-miss but also got me somewhere! Especially in terms of past big court decisions made, and so on.

Nicole: Natalie and Carmen both dug into this in the most recent Special Edition of Into the A+ Advice Box. Not sure if that was you asking again, but I hope it’s helpful!

Q: Hi! I left a long request/rant about finding a professional “merriam-webster” style explainer of using they/them to share in my buttoned up professional workplace and wanted to follow up by saying: That exact thing exists!

But also any other suggestions for resources are very welcome (especially on correcting people in the weird virtual world we now live in)

Carmen: May I also recommend Archie’s short graphic guide, A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns?

Q: I’m curious, are there times of day where you see peaks in readership, or like times of the year/month? Do ppl comment more at certain times of the day? Maybe this is all out the window w/ covid anyways Lol. Just interested and curious in little trends and things like that! Keep up the good work. For the record, im on here multiple times a day, you’re the first thing I read in the morning, and usually where I spend my time on breaks during the workday. I love AS!!!

Heather: Great question! So we usually see peaks in our traffic around the time people on the east coast and west coast take their first break from work, so like 10am-11am, and then again in the evenings when people are done working, so like 7pm-9pm OR when we tweet something that everyone wants to read like a coming out post or some good Vapid Fluff or a review of a TV show everyone’s been watching. And then once people are here for whatever they came for from social media, they tend to stick around and read another thing or two. And then there are certain days and times people are into certain things — evenings and Sundays for NSFW content, Saturdays (for some weird reason!) for political content, and Fridays and holidays for any of our TV lists, especially ones about what’s streaming and gay on what platform currently.

My little sister is dating a girl!! Finally I’m not the only gay in the family! Which is statistically unlikely considering the size of my family anyway! Just needed to shout the news to more queers!!

MISC

Q: Hello! The Indy Week, the longest-running independent newspaper in the Raleigh-Durham NC area, is looking for a new editor! I know many of you are on the West Coast, but I still wanted to get this info to the Autostraddle team if they know someone in NC who could potentially be recommended. As a member of the Indy Press Club (their version of A+), I have a slightly more direct line of communication with the staff and could pass along a name. Obviously the person should be local or have a strong connection to the area. If you happen to think of anyone, please tell me! The Indy Week is practically its own institution here and, as of now, is the only major newspaper in our area not owned by a hedge fund (aaaaaaaagghh).

Carmen: Thank you! We shared it across our networks.

Q: Hey, I keep seeing people talking about stock photos (hello last two Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us!). Meant to drop this in before and got sidetracked. I’m Yorkshire, UK based photographer and happy to shoot any queers that want to become stock photo people for AS (or if you want something else!). I’m @thehannahali (happy for this to be shared) on Twitter/iIstagram if you want to double check me, not much in the way of stock stuff on there but shooting people is a big part of my work :) With the ongoing situations, I’ve a lot of free time and I’d rather give it to something worthy!

Sarah: Hi Hannah! Your work is great! Thanks for the heads up, we don’t normally commission photography but if we do I’ll keep you in mind! ♥️

Q: Did you guys see Anne + yet? its a gentle dutch drama about a 24 year old lesbian figuring out her life via flashbacks of all the women she’s been with. pretty realistic/relatable I thought! it’s on channel 4 in the uk, hope you can find it somewhere across the pond

Heather: Okay not yet but you have SOLD ME! I’m going to reach out to Sally right now and see if she’ll write about it!

Q: Sometimes there’s a lot to do and see and read etc, and sometimes I sit around and try not to watch The Old Guard for the 4th time in a month. When will we get the even gayer sequel???

Also, the scene the Charlize Theron has with the French pharmacist gets like 15 sexual tension awards, it is somehow very hot!

Carmen: I watched The Old Guard at least 3x across all of August and can confirm how obsessed with it I am. AND WE ARE DEF GETTING THE GAYER SEQUEL!!!!! I am so ready! My heart and body are ready! It’s all I want and in this pandemic, I will wait for as long as it takes!!!

Q: This is a minor, minor website suggestion and I don’t know if it will even be relevant after the fundraiser, but— reading the Future Present series (also WOW! Such a good idea and I loved reading these pieces and I know I will return to them again and again) the little intro paragraph that explains the series and its tie in to the fundraiser, would it be possible to make the font look different or something to distinguish it from the rest of the article? Reading it on mobile, my eyes start reading it, thinking it’s part of the article, and then I get to the graphic at the bottom of the intro and it’s like “oh wait that wasn’t the article!” I feel silly even suggesting it bc it’s such a minor inconvenience, but it tricked my eyes twice and so I thought oh well I’ll just throw this comment in the A+ box and see what happens.

Thank you for everything you do!!!! I love this site so much and I’m so happy you hit the fundraising goal!!!

Sarah: That’s definitely not a weird thing to suggest and going into the post i see what you mean! Normally we do make that text a different style — it should be a bit smaller and grey. The behind the scenes truth is not every editor works in the same way, and sometimes my preferences as the designer / visual director are not communicated!

Q: I’m curious what your vision is for in-person AS meetups/events in the far future, and/or virtual events for the foreseeable future? Would you ever do like an AS webinar series with topics and skills to learn, or a Zoom call for a subset of Straddlers, or an online watch party? I’ve been interested in attending Autostraddle meetups/events for the last several years, but the timing and/or locations never seem to work out for me. Now that we won’t be gathering in person for awhile, I’m trying to find ways to make queer friends/queer community online! The comments section is great for this (a sentence never said in any other part of the internet) and so I’m just wondering if there will be more ways we can virtually hang out.

Rachel: This is a great question! I think it would be most accurate to say our vision is very much in development around this – we’ve talked about a lot of the options that you’re bringing up here and are excited about many of them! We were able to do some of this in the Shelter in Our Place week and its followup, run by Shelli and Vanessa, and would love to revisit them more in the future; we’ve also talked about webinars or even full courses with multiple sessions.

Q: Queer artist Indira Allegra has 8 beautiful, accessible grief practices to share here. I did a couple and they really have been helping.

Nicole: Thank you for sharing this!

Q: Hi! First of all thanks for being out here on the internet as a bastion of queerness. Reading a piece published on Autostraddle about being agender was life-changing for me so there’s a special place for this site in my heart.

I’m trying to find an internet community of queer and trans folks who are makers and crafters and artists, where we can share projects and collaborate and uplift each other. Do you all know if something like this exists? I want to be a part of it! If it doesn’t exist, anyone want to help make it exist?

Noa (@embroiderugh on insta)

Sarah: I have never heard of this but I think it sounds beautiful and think you should absolutely create it! Your embroidery is so great, also!

Q: Two of my online social groups are discussing who the most famous gay person is. Ellen is way more famous than Oscar Wilde right?

Heather: Yes, I would say that Ellen is, unfortunately, way more famous than Oscar Wilde.

I love love LOVE the Slick illustrations!!! I find that they linger in my mind longer than the details of the story.

REALLY NICE THINGS YOU TOLD US

Q: The content here has been amazing lately. I mean, it’s always been good, but some of the recent first person essays – AE Osworth’s essay about bisexuality, Shoshana Raphael’s essay about the decision to have or not have surgery, the way Yvonne has started Latinx month – it’s been such a good few weeks and I’m so proud to be an A+ member!

Heather: I agree with you! All of those things were treasures to read and there’s not another place on the internet where all three of them could have existed in the same space. It makes me so proud to work here and it warms my heart straight through to hear you say it makes you so proud to be an A+ member!

Nicole: Whenever we get a message like this in the A+ box, it means so much and we get to share it in Slack and take a moment to soak it in. Thank you so much for this feedback!!

Q: Y’all. Not advice, just love for you! After living in NYC for five years, coming out, and living my best gay life, due to the pandemic I’ve had to move back to CT to live with family (city rent, am I right?). Moving home as I approach my mid-20’s definitely wasn’t something I anticipated doing. A+ has been a LIFELINE of queer community in isolation, and a constant reminder that everything happens in its own time. Thank you for your continued queer realness.

Heather: Whew, yes, city rent! It’s, um, extra eye-opening to be paying NYC rent, taxes, food and grocery prices, etc. without the benefits of being able to be a part of NYC these last many months (which, for me, mostly means being able to be with my NYC friends!). I am with you all the way that this space is a lifeline, and I hope we can continue to be that for you as we head into winter. Sending you all my love to Connecticut!

Carmen: Thank you for YOUR continued queer realness! Even if you’ve had to leave the city, you’re no less real, you know? We’re all trying to do whatever we can to make it. So glad you’re enjoying the A+ content and community, sending you lots of pandemic love.

Q: Hi I have an A+ question! Does it make any financial difference to you all if I’m doing monthly payments versus once a year?

Nicole: It would only make financial difference if we had a lot of people changing what they do (annual giving versus monthly), but from an individual perspective, we offer both options so you can do what makes sense for you!

Q: Jen Brady, tennis player, is she gay? My wife asked and couldn’t find info googling and well— I said this is what the A+ priority contact inbox is for.

Heather: Oh wow, I also cannot find this information and I spend a lot of time looking for information like this. I’ll keep a lookout and if I find anything definitive, you’ll be the first to know!

Nicole: You are right that this is a great use of the A+ Priority Contact Box!

Q: my A+ perks came in the mail yesterday and it was literally the bEST surprise. the pure joy I felt!! it was wonderful!!! THERE ARE SO MANY STICKERS!!!! anyways I appreciate ya’ll v much <3

Nicole: Yay!!! I’m glad <3

Sarah: Yay! I’m feeling second hand joy from your joy. So glad you liked your gifts 🥰

Q: Autostraddles graphics are SO AMAZING!! Also, a pressing question — who is making sure Kamala and Carmen get time off? It’s so hard to take time off from Really Important Work We Love With Amazing People AND we, as readers, need yall to take your time, naps, rest, dreams.

Carmen: This is really sweet, thank you! The funny thing is that literally just last night I was telling Kamala that she was due for some days off. And now here you are, providing me with back up!

Sarah: I AM BLUSHING.

Q: I just want to say that during this fundraising campaign someone said something to the effect of: “Even if you don’t feel like Autostraddle is ‘for’ you anymore, you feel like you’re too old for it, don’t relate to it like you used to, etc. please consider donating to make sure it stays around for the young queers who come up behind you.” I got goosebumps when I read that! It was such a beautiful articulation of why keeping AS going is SO IMPORTANT and letting it grow and breathe and expand and be reshaped is important. thank you !!

Nicole: Aww thank you so much!! I think it was Laneia who said that, and it’s so true.

Q: Just wanted to say that you’re amazing, Drew looked absolutely stunning in the last roundup pics, and I still have Vanessa’s essay on thirst bookmarked and read it regularly. Also, thanks for walking the walk, I can’t wait to see what AS can become!

Drew:🥰

Q: Thank you for bringing me excellent sports links Natalie

Natalie: Aww, thanks for sharing that!

Q: Kayla, just wanna say I appreciate your contributions to AS a lot! Together they are a masterpiece of something I need but can’t put my finger on. That is all!

Kayla: 💗

Q: Just here to say I had amazing queer sex yesterday and thank you! All the sex advice, stories, etc, specific advice about feeling anxious/self conscious about not having sex before/feeling like I never would, sex toy discounts, masturbation everything, all that I’ve read here for the last 9-10 years! Especially Vanessa’s how to have sex with a friend article! All of that led to me feeling comfortable and confident in asking a pal if they’d want to get physical and I’m so glad I did! So in a way, thanks for the many orgasms, let’s stay hydrated! <3

Carmen: Hahahaa, believe it or not, Autostraddle also taught me how to have lesbian sex, probably almost 10 years ago now. I AM SO GLAD WE GET TO TEACH QUEER PEOPLE HOW TO HAVE BETTER SEX!! What a job!

Sarah: I love this story!

Q: I haven’t been frequenting Autostraddle as recently in the last few months as I had been over the last handful of years. I was just scrolling through my email and saw my auto payment receipt for A+ so I spent the last couple hours catching up on a bunch of good content you all have been putting out lately. I’m sure you all hear all the time how much incredible work you’re doing for the queer community, but you really truly all are! When I was just a baby gay (which sometimes I still consider myself), keeping up with Autostraddle and following some of you on social media was the extent of my queer community and it really made a difference in the years I spent coming out to myself! In an attempt to make up for the fundraiser I seem to have missed I went and hit up the regular donate link so I hope that makes up for it because I’m sad I missed an opportunity to support via the fundraiser! So happy to see you met your fundraising goal though! Y’all deserve it!

Nicole: Thank you so much for supporting and thank you for donating on top of your A+ contribution. We’re running on contributions pulled together from lots of people, so every bit counts! I’m also so glad you’re still reading from baby gay to today gay 💓

Q: Someone asked me what I have to contribute about ‘disruption’ re the future of work. I was like – umm, we have enough shocks coming from capitalism and white supremacy, no one needs more disruption. I am into growing alternatives out of the cracks of the current systems, fostering care and nurturing; re-learning conflict, power-distribution, and collective decision making skills; slowing down; healing. Watering these alternatives prayerfully.

All this to say that Autostraddle is the big huge beautiful rose push growing all over the chainlink fence around the powerplant!!! You are growing beautiful powerful futures for so many of us and future generations!!! Thank you!!

Carmen: 🌹🌹🌹

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!