Questions from the A+ Inbox were taking up such an enormous portion of the A+ Insider that we started dedicating an entire post to them instead! This A+ feature now exchanges bi-monthly with our column, Into the A+ Advice Box. We think this will be a lot of fun for everybody in the whole family. We’ve included as many questions as we can. We love you and your hair looks fantastic today!

A-CAMP, MERCH, BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

I would pay very real american dollars if you made a shirt that said “Princess” or “Femme Princess” or something like that. I’m a gay ass princess and everyone needs to know. And I want to give you money for helping me figure that out about myself!

Sarah: Omg this very specific gender identity is close to my heart! Alas, we haven’t made a Femme shirt that sells well yet, so we’ll probably hold off on making shirts with very nuanced and specific identifiers until we crack that code! In the meantime I found this Femme Queen button for you on Etsy.

Do you think you’ll ever bring back the gal pal tank tops? I regret not having bought one every dang day!

Sarah: Absolutely. I mean we were going to actually reprint them this summer but lost track of time. As soon as we see the first glimpses of Spring 2020 we will bring the Gal Pal tank top back full force.

After finally becoming A+ this year and also making a (small) donation to the fundraiser I would love to help you make more money- can you get amazon.de added to you affiliates list pleasepleaseplease?? Having to make up to 200 orders (YES!) per year for work there – wouldn’t it be great if something good came out of that? And also I love you and credit big parts of my (recovered) sanity to Heather’s and Riese’s writing/stories. I had no idea how deeply grounding and healing it could be to recognize and understand parts of myself in your voices. Thank you!

Sarah: Sure! I’ll get this taken care of by the end of next week. :) Check the Affiliate Marketplace after that. And thank you for such a wonderful idea/contribution!

HI AS Team! I was wondering if you were going to post those upcoming part time jobs on AS? Both of those jobs (program manager and tech professional) seems like types of job my wife would be good at and perfect for our current situation. You’d love her, she’s amazing at what she does. Thanks!

Laneia: Yes! We’re actually writing these calls right now! 🥳

How many people read Autostraddle? How many unique visitors do you get a month?

Sarah: We get 3.5 million pageviews per month, and around 2 million unique visitors!

Will you be making the Still Bisexual After All These Years shirt in other colors besides black? I would love it in maybe a pink or lavender.

Sarah: That sounds really cute! Unfortunately it’s not selling very well in the very universally enjoyed color of a black tee, so we’re probably not going to be selling it after this stock runs out.

Would you ever sell socks in your merch store? If you had Autostraddle socks I would buy all of my socks from you.

Heather: Do you mean Socks my cat? Because HE IS NOT FOR SALE! But you can have as many photos of him as you want!

Sarah: Maybe! A pair of socks covered in tiny scissors would be so cute!

So, I just got my stickers for upping my A+ membership, and my 4 year old daughter demanded one, which is fair. I told her she could have the “safe space” one or the “support indie media” one. Well, she flies into a rage, ugly crying, screaming, full on tantrum because she wanted the “cutting one”. Nothing prepared me for the part of parenting where you have to explain to a preschooler why they don’t need a scissoring sticker. Finally she settled for the “safe space” sticker and one I got from a Women in Leadership Symposium. Anyway, thought you’d appreciate that!

Laneia: Reader, thank you. This is the purest most beautiful thing I’ve read all day. Bless your daughter. Maybe she’d appreciate this collection of scissor stickers, which happens to include a solid number of stickers dedicated to Edward Scissorhands as well!

Sarah: oh my god, this makes me so incredibly happy.

Thank you for everything you do. Seriously. Started reading Autostraddle before I came out and it made me feel like I had a home to go to if I needed it. Four-ish years later I’m a flaming homosexual and don’t know where else to go for such prolific, amazing, necessary queer women’s content.

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

I’ve been taking a very super official poll with all my friends due to a conversation that came up in my everyday life and would like to extend it to you – do you consider your significant other(s) your best friend(s)?

Heather: Absolutely. Nine years in and she is still my favorite person in the world.

Laneia: Yep! She knows all my secrets and has witnessed me being dead wrong more than once and she still wants to pin her credit score to mine?? BFF.

Just saw Hannah Gadsby performing her new show “Douglas” tonight. Incredible. Transformative. So. Fucking. Good. So good that I almost wish I had social media so I could post about it. But Autostraddle is as social as I get.

Heather: Oh wow, I’m so glad to hear that! Thank you for sharing it with us!

Is having someone cancel a date with you two hours before you were supposed to get together because they are getting back together with their BFF/ex-girlfriend the gayest thing ever to gay? Y/N

Laneia: Wow Y.

I just had possibly the gayest closeout to Pride Month of my life so far, in that I came home riding high from a Rhea Butcher show with a friend and then discovered via Instagram that my old roommate, who I’d been hopelessly in love with but never said anything because she was straight, is not only not straight – she has a girlfriend and it looks serious. I don’t know where to put all of these emotions!

Laneia: I hope you put those emotions into a journal and then put some seltzer into a glass of iced rosé (or just ice!!! Live your best life!!) and blessed your own heart!

You guys. I’ve never seen the L Word before, but know all about it through Autostraddle and To L and Back. When Riese was talking on the podcast about Bette being mean and unreasonable I was like, “Yeah sounds right, why did no one not see that the first time she watched it?” TURNS OUT I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HOW BEAUTIFUL AND ENGAGING JENNIFER BEALS IS ON THAT SHOW!! I WANT TO MARRY BETTE AND BE HER UNDERAPPRECIATED HOUSEWIFE PLEASE.

Carmen: I AM SO READY TO ALWAYS YELL ABOUT HOW HOT AND CHARISMATIC BETTE PORTER IS!!!!! I have a lot of love for To L and Back, but the ways that Riese Bernard has made me rethink my eternal love for Bette Porter (and the ways it bleed into some of my earliest relationships) is very much not one of them!

Sarah: BETTE PORTER MEETING TINA AT THE ART GALLERY FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH THE ASYMMETRICAL SLEEK HAIR LOOK FOREVER AND EVER AMEN.

I signed up for A+ as a result of needing community after a break up last year. My auto-renewal just went through. Thanks for all your love and support this year, AS community <3

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION/ ARTICLE IDEAS

Question for our Resident Lesbrarian: Any good audiobooks out there with LGBTQ+ content? Looking for good narrators specifically, less than just a content match.

Casey: Yes!!! There are so many great audiobooks with LGBTQ+ content. Too many to name here in fact! But I am gonna take this request and put it in my queue for questions to answer in my Lesbrarian column, because I can definitely hunt down some top notch narrators for queer books. In the meantime, check out this list I did of lesbian romance audiobooks!

I think I remember one (or more) of your articles mentioning an email list where you can request daily affirmations relating to a specific goal or intention that you set? Do you have a link to that? Or am I just imagining a service that my newly in-therapy ass wants to have?

Laneia: This was actually a weekly affirmation for NOT doing the thing you know you’re not supposed to do, namely trying to date an actually-straight woman (as opposed to the straight woman from a few messages up). Also though I had to shelve that brilliant plan because there just wasn’t enough time in the day, but lo! Would you please turn your attention to Esmé Wang’s Encouragement Notes! I signed up for those emails and still have them saved in my inbox.

Has anyone on the team seen Cate Blanchett’s newly released episode of Documentary Now (it’s the spoof IFC show on Netflix)? It’s called “Waiting for the Artist” and while Cate’s character is not noticeably queer, her portrayal and the twist misandrist conclusion is something I think y’all might enjoy!

Laneia: THANK YOU FOR THIS HOT TIP.

Heather: Well. That’s that.

Would it be possible to have someone put together a more updated podcast roundup?

Laneia: Buddy, I’ll be honest with you, I think that’d be extremely possible. I do.

A few years ago before I had seen The L Word, I read something on Autostraddle about a scene where two people are running to a pool (or hot tub) and one of them shouts “last one in has to top tonight!” Does anyone have any idea what I’m talking about? I could’ve sworn it was in The L Word, but when I watched it last year I never saw a scene like it? I thought Heather Hogan wrote the thing I’m thinking of. The scene sounded really compelling and I want to see it if it is, in fact, a real scene and not something I imagined! Thanks.

Heather: That, my friend, is The Fosters episode 314, “Under Water,” an Autostraddle TV Team all-time favorite!

Carmen: Hmmmhmm! Burned into my memory, that’s for sure!

Sarah: Honestly sounds like a bunch of my friends here in Portland.

Hello dear autostraddle staff, please help me! Do you have any resources/links on/for people who have top surgery and continue to identify as female? My internet queries have turned up basically nothing at all, which maybe means no one is out there who really does this, but I have been thinking more and more about getting the chop and feel like my gender identity has to change if I don’t want to have boobs anymore? I know this isn’t really true, but nothing I have found on google shows me it isn’t, you know? Thanks in advance!!

Carmen: OK! Two things! First! I love you and your gender identity doesn’t have to go anywhere (unless you want it to). We all get to make our own paths and set our own rules, and whatever that looks like for you is beautiful. The end. SECOND THING! I don’t know if you’ve read this advice piece that Archie wrote this month, but just in case you haven’t, I think you may like it – You Need Help: A Non-Binary Woman Working Through the Gender Feels

My friend is going through 18 rounds of gender feels re: “How do I know if I hate my boobs because I don’t like how they look or because I am trans and don’t want any” and I don’t know how to help them. Have you written on this? Do you have thoughts?

Carmen: Oh hey there! Did you see the piece I linked up above?☝🏾 It’s for you, too!

Was just trying to find maybe my favorite Autostraddle writing of all time (a surrealist something involving boxed cake and friendship that I believe Laneia wrote), but as I type this out it sounds more like a fever dream I had. Is it real? Can you please help me find it? <3

Laneia: Like once every 18 months I’ll remember that I wrote this post and I still can’t believe it. Was I possessed? Is that what people mean when they say they’re just the conduit and the writing is coming from a higher, more spiritual place? I think it is. Enjoy! How to Tell Who Your Real True Friends Are 🧡 🎈

Is Autostraddle going to give us a place to process the Veronica Mars Season 4 finale?

Carmen: When *that finale* happened I was distraught and literally nobody on the TV Team was watching or was there for me!! I mean, OK, I’m not here to say that straight love should be the priority of our team, you know? But Logan and Veronica FOREVERRRRRR. That’s what I feel about that!

I can’t find it now, but wasn’t there an article where Heather shared excerpts of her preteen diary that included fanfic of Anne of Green Gables and Diana ??? Did I dream this?

Heather: Hahahah! You did not dream it!

Sarah: Pebbly nipples! Double breasts! This article honestly changed my life.

This queer movie about the apocalypse sounds hella cool!

Heather: And terrifying! But yes, cool!

I know there’s the wonderful “how to divorce your husband” article (which honestly might be how I originally landed on AS years ago) but is there any way to do an update/round table/something more in depth about coming out while in a long term relationship/marriage? I just want to know more and hear more stories. I’ve seen a bunch on the internet from gay men, but not as many for women/nb/etc. Thanks! I can’t thank you enough for what you do! It really helps keep me afloat.

Rachel: I think that could be possible in the future! Thank you for the idea!

Is there an app that tracks both my period and my girlfriend’s??

Rachel: I know with Clue you can opt to “share your period data” with someone, because it is constantly offering me the option to do that with like, my roommate or college friends. I am horrified by the prospect of maybe sharing this accidentally but I am hopeful for your prospects of sharing it on purpose!

Carmen: Yep! I was totally going to say Clue, but then Rachel beat me to it!

Laneia: I LOVE CLUE BYE.

A lovely and fascinating ongoing series of reviews of LGBT movies from the previous century, perhaps especially of interest to Drew and/or fans of her series :)

Drew: I see they’ve covered some personal favorites of mine like Some of My Best Friends Are… and Zero Patience. Thank you so much for sharing!

I’d LOVE to read an AS review of “I’m Telling The Truth but I’m Lying” by Bassey Bassey Ikpi.

Rachel: I can work on this! Thank you for the tip!

Will you write anything more about Are You The One? Thanks to AS I started watching it and now I’m straight up obsessed and would love more content about it!

Rachel: Not to overstate things but I feel like we may never actually stop writing about Are You The One. Which I am THRILLED about! I’m not sure what’s next in the pipeline but I think we’ll have something for you, absolutely.

IDEA: Remake of The Heathers except it’s just 4 Heather Hogans going around being nice to everyone. I think it’s what the world needs right now.

Laneia: This is… it’s perfect.

Sarah: Love it.

Love you guys, thanks for all your hard work over the years (been here since the beginning and looking forward to many more!)

MISC

Two twitter realizations I’ve had recently: 1) Kristen’s handle is kristennoeline (her name) not kristenONLINE 2) Brittani’s is “B is hilarious” not “Bish is hilarious” as I previously thought. Thanks for tuning in!

Laneia: SAME, friend! Same. Exact same. For years.

Sarah: SAME! It will always and forever be “Kristin Online”, I don’t care what anyone says, especially Kristin.

Carmen: Absolutely! My eyes play those specific tricks on me every time, to this very day.

I just want to talk about Julia Nunes’ new album that’s all!

Heather: Hey, good news, us too! Stay tuned!

Sarah: God so do I. Talk to me about it!!! And then drink some water and get some sleep! And also the things we fear have already happened so our sense of dread is only plaguing us because we haven’t made our peace yet. So.

Netflix just offered me “Gal Pal TV Shows” as a suggestion and like….basically none of them are gay so Netflix clearly did not get the memo about what “gal pal” really means….

Heather: LOL I have that recommendation too!

As an openly queer person who doesn’t like using the term ‘shade’ or ‘shady’ because I am white and think it would be appropriation, I am annoyed to see Taylor Swift casually misusing it in her lyrics.

Carmen: There are so many things about Taylor Swift that make me incredibly angry. That thing you just mentioned? Somewhere near the very top of the list.

Ahahhaaa! I just noticed the header images on all of the Into the A+ Advice Box articles are of therapists/therapy group scenes from TV! Do I have that right? So clever!

Carmen: You are the first person who has said something about noticing that specific, quirky detail and let me tell you – it made my entire day!! Thank youuuuuu

Astrology babes, help me out here! What’s the deal with this app The Pattern? Do you use it, do you like it, what’s your take?

Rachel: You will be pleased to know that Stef is ON IT. Personally, I like it, for different reasons than I like CoStar; I sort of hate that people I friend can see all my shit, but also love that I can set like starred friends and get push updates on them.

Sarah: If you’re in therapy you will love the clarity of how the Pattern breaks down your biggest issues.

Thank you for being reliable! I wanted a misandry playlist and knew you would have one and in fact you did!!!

Carmen: Ooooh! I’ve never seen this playlist before and I am very into it. Oh wow. Yes.

I got a haircut the same day as Laneia.

Laneia: PICS PLEASE !! Haircut day twins!!!

Is “kerfuffle” really not part of the American lexicon? RE: @ 4:00 in this video – I did not realise this was a British/Commonwealth English thing. I use it on the reg and feel like you guys are missing out.

Heather: Is it not?! I say kerfuffle at least three times a week. I would love to have a little wombat named Kerfuffle as a pet.

Hi! There’s this really cool Instagram account that is doing a project of taking photos of queer women in Sao Paulo, Brasil.

Carmen: OMGGGGGGGG I AM IN LOOOOOOOVE

What I’m trying to say is this: 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️🌈👯‍♀️

REALLY NICE THINGS YOU TOLD US

Hello you amazing people, I found you about 9 years ago when I was looking around for *intelligent* lesbian commentary/news/culture, etc. The mix of pop culture, news, sex, and sharp political commentary that I found here was a wonderful breath of fresh air. In an odd way I sometimes think of Autostraddle as an updated version of what Playboy started out as in the 1950s: A place where a young person can go to learn all aspects of being a sophisticated adult, from what to drink to how to dress and seduce. I have been delighted to watch you grow in reach and openness, *especially* your insistence on welcoming all queermos however they identify. I’ve been around enough (age 55) to remember multiple battles over various kinds of lesbian purity; your resistance to all that nonsense is essential to building a real community. I’ve learned a huge amount from your silly as well as serious content. May you long thrive, vapid fluff and all!

Laneia: From the bottommost bottom of my actual and metaphorical heart, thank you so fucking much for this message. Just! Thank you!!

Carmen: I desperately want to print this message and paste it to my wall above my desk. Thank you so much!

Hi Autostraddle! My fiancée and I are getting married in two weeks and instead of giving wedding favours to our guests we’ve donated to Autostraddle because we love you guys and we wanted to share the love on our wedding day! Thanks for all the work you do, both of us read AS every day and love the community you’ve created here. Love you!

Laneia: 😭 Congratulations and I hope you both are so happy!! I’m going to go cry a lot!

Carmen: Are you kidding me right now!?!? I can’t believe it! I just can’t! This is AMAZING!! Congratulations to you both! I hope your wedding cake was delicious!

Sarah: Oh my god, this is so incredibly sweet. Thank you so much. Also happy wedding!!!

I’m constantly amazed and delighted by the creativity of new articles and witty titles on this website. You are all amazing!

Rachel: Thank you so much! I will be honest the titles are very hard so this is really appreciated.

I just donated in honor of Socks the Cat and all that you fabulous people do. Best wishes to all!

Heather: Oh, friend! Thank you! I am very pleased to tell you that Socks has defied every expectation set for him by every single doctor he saw in the wake of his injury! At first they told us that probably he would never walk again, might never regain control of his bladder, and very very likely would need to have his tail amputated because it would probably never work again. Definitely, they told us, he would not jump. Oh but he can walk and jump and use his bladder and even has function in his tail! He can lift it up and shake it all around, even if it won’t stay there! They say he’ll always walk a little slower and with a little swagger now, but honestly? Who knows! No matter what, we were going to do everything in our power to give him the best life. We were already measuring him out for a cat wheelchair. Last week he finally fought off the very last of his secondary infections, and this week his finally able to be back with Dobby and Beth full-time. Thank you for loving him. He knows you do and he is so grateful.

I just wanted to say that I am REALLY enjoying Natalie’s coverage of the democratic debates and I’m hoping she keeps covering election happenings! (I said this in the comments on one of her pieces but just wanted to reiterate here). Love you all

Natalie: Thank you so much for this note. Recapping back-to-back 10 person debates has been a real challenge so I’m happy to hear that people are enjoying it. If I don’t respond to comments about my coverage it’s because recapping back-to-back 10 person debates is also exhausting and I’m probably asleep somewhere. As a political nerd who still gets emotional about people participating in our democracy, I’m grateful for everyone who reads those recaps and engages on the issues.

I think the collective hope, among our team here at Autostraddle, is that these recaps are just the start of our 2020 coverage. We’re dreaming big — why, yes, we would like to interview [insert your favorite presidential candidate here] — and hoping to build on the work our team did last year for the midterms.

See you on September 12 for the next set of debates!

THANK U LANEIA FOR THE NEWSLETTER! Can’t wait to see the new hair! Xoxo

Laneia: YOU ARE SO WELCOME ! Thank you for helping my open rate grow 🙏🏻 (If you, person reading this who didn’t send the message, aren’t subscribed to the newsletter, you can subscribe right now! That would be so neat. You’ll get the newsletter on Friday!!)

I had been kind of watching and waiting for the site to reach 1,000 pages of articles, but then somehow it quickly went past to 1,001 pages. Anyway, congrats on SOOO many pages of gay stuff! It’s amazing!

Carmen: Aw damn, I can’t believe I missed it!

Laneia: THAT’S A LOT OF GAY! 🥰 Thank you for reading it!!

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