Emily decides it’s time to confront Naomi about the university brochure, but this is one of those rare moments when the kids are in class and so they take the fight out into the football field. There’s lots of wind blowing, which draws special attention to their beautiful hair and lovely skin glistening in the blustery afternoon. It’s actually visually quite a scene.
Field of Broken Dreams
Emily: Why didn’t you tell me you knew her?
Naomi: I only met her once, at an Open Day.
Emily: What Open Day?
Naomi: It was an Open Day, what does it matter?
Emily: We’re going travelling next year, we decided.
Naomi: You decided. Look, I went to an Open Day, I met a girl, we talked, that’s it.
Emily: You should have told me.
Naomi: Well how could I, without telling you where I met her? I didn’t want a referrendum on our relationship over a stupid Open Day.
Emily: Did you know she was gay?
Naomi: I met her once.
Emily: Did you fuck her?
Naomi: No! You think I’d shag some random girl behind your back?
Right now my head is exploding. Naomi can’t understand why Emily is getting all upset that she’s blatantly lied about knowing another girl who likes girls, and a dead one at that who apparently spent enough time with her that someone else was able to snap a picture of the two of them?
But also don’t you feel like you can just sense it sometimes? I don’t think people lie successfully all that often, it’s just a matter of if you’ve decided to operate at an honest level with another human or if you’ve already silently agreed to never know the whole truth about someone. Kids tend to prefer honesty; perhaps it has yet to burn them, they tread less wearily towards it.
Emily confesses that she’s been in the dead girl’s house, and Naomi gets upset like she has the right to. Emily shows Naomi the mysterious key —
Emily: You know what this is for?
Naomi: Something to do with the army. Probably her cadet locker key.
Emily: How do you even know that, Naomi?
Well, I mean, maybe congratulate Naomi for saying something other than “i don’t know” but also YEAH NAOMI, HOW?
Oooo! A Field trip!
The two girls head over to Cadetland, which is nothing like Disneyland, to check out her cadet locker. AND OH WHAT TREASURES THEY FIND. Has anyone else already had the thought, “oh my god she bought drugs from Naomi b/c she was in love with Naomi, not ’cause she just wanted to buy drugs from someone?” ‘Cause I have and I have to say, bravo Skins, this is kind of interesting/complicated.
Where’s Tasha?
So, yeah, this is what the locker looks like (don’t worry that’s not a candle, I mean I was worried too):
I Get So Jealous, I Can’t Even Work
Ah yes. The standard Lesbian Stalker Locker. We’ve got your love poems, we’ve got your emo sketches, we’ve got a bracelet Naomi lost, Naomi’s old toothbrush which Sophie probs used to masturbate, and the wrapper of some cookies that Naomi recognizes as probably being from her rubbish. Oh, and a mysterious wooden box. I’m guessing that’s where the vial of blood & lock of hair is hiding out.
[Song: Organum – Max Richter]
My Misery’s So Addictive
They’re both genuinely shocked, muttering an assortment of ‘what the fuck’s?’ as they sort through, until Naomi is creeped out enough that she wants Emily to close the locker.
Then they hear the army coming to attack them! OMG!
Upon hearing cadets coming, they hide in a storage cupboard that also happens to be in a rehearsal room. Things start hitting home for Naomi.
Naomi: She stalked me.
Emily: You’re very stalkable.
There’s a comfy looking bag of camo nets nearby and that’s convenient, because a marching band starts rehearing outside and so it looks like they’ll be trapped in there for a while. However will they pass the time.
Oh my God this is so awesomely blasphemous, they’re gonna take it off and get busy on top of a stack of camo while army music plays. God Bless the Queen.
The Fitches are having a dinner party and Naomi isn’t invited, but Katie’s new boyfriend is. He’s pretty much your standard-issue doucherabbit. He’s about 20% as cute as his girlfriend and is shoveling food into his mouth like it’s Spaghetti Night at Delta Sig.
Katie finally gets to do a scene with dialogue, which is unfortunate in this instance because she wants to talk about how Sam has a good job and is an upstanding member of the community. I’m still waiting for her to explain why she’s dating him.
Emily looks disgusted but Mrs Fitch is lapping it up, she thinks Sam is a “keeper” because he has a penis and thinks her cooking “off the hook.” Katie says he’s an asskisser.
La Vie en Rose
Okay, Emily’s brother is my new favorite character; he wants to know where Naomi is so he can show her his new “number.” And he doesn’t mean “personal rendition of Hey Big Spender,” though he might. Mum is unimpressed but he adds that lots of boys get curious about women’s clothing when they hit “pub (pronounced “let’s go get wasted at the pub”) – ‘er – tee.”
The “keeper” corrects him on his pronunciation but then shoots his finger and winks and it makes me like him instantly ’cause that is terrible/awesome. The gay genes are running amok in this dining room.
I Enjoyed a Good Pair of Stilletos in my Day Too, Boy
Katie thinks he’s really clever because he knows how to pronounce words, for chrissakes I was really hoping they would give her a better personality this season.
Emily: Why is he here?
Katie : He’s my new boyfriend, Emily.
Emily: [to Mrs Fitch] You said that Noami couldn’t come because this is a family dinner.
Mrs Fitch: This is a six-seater table Emily, what do you want me to do?
Besides, the dinner is supposed to be happy! A surprise celebration! Mrs Fitch’s got the loan approved for new wedding planning business, Let’s Get Fitched that no-one knew she was starting. No, not even Mr Fitch. If she told him then he might have been able to warn her a little earlier that his gym went out of business and his unemployed, which is why he was in such a hugging mood earlier. But all she cares about is where she’s not going to get the money to bribe Emily to cancel the trip to Mexico. What a Fitch.
Emily: I don’t want [your money]. Don’t you get it? I want Naomi.
Brother: I want to fuck Naomi.
MOTHER GIVES LOOK OF SHAME AND HORROR
Brother: What? I do. Get over it.
Mother: Rob did you just hear what he said
Rob: She is attractive, love.
Mother: Fuck, Rob. he said fuck. Now do you see what she’s done to our family?
Emily: I’m moving out.
Rob: Don’t be rash, love. and (brother), don’t say fuck.
Emily wants to move out, and her Mom is like FINE and she’s like FINE and we’re like FINE as in yes, you’re FINE.
Emily’s not gonna stick around and be bribed, she’s gonna do the smart thing and MOVE IN WITH NAOMI, her drug dealing, possibly lying and potentially straying girlfriend! But not before Katie tries to stop her.
Katie: You know mum doesn’t really mean to be a total bitch.
Emily: Yes she does, and you let her.
Katie: She’s just trying to help you.
Emily: It’s all fake. This family is so fake.
Katie: I’m not fake!
Emily: Fake tan. Fake boyfriend. Fake concern.
Katie swears she really is concerned and doesn’t want Emily to move out, and ps, she spent several hours in the sun that day, so the tan is real. Also her boyfriend may seem a little fake, but also he is HUNG LIKE A HORSE! I actually didn’t expect that, he looked like he’d be small.
Emily doesn’t have time to argue though, ’cause the dead girl’s brother has shown up on her stoop.
Matt figured out who “Nancy” really was and wanted to share the suicide note that Sophia left him, hoping to find answers to her death.
You may recognize the contents of this suicide note, they are the lyrics to the blondie song “Heart of Glass.”
Heart of Glass & Paper
Emily: She killed herself.
Matt: Was it you? Was it you she killed herself for?
Emily: No! And it wasn’t Naomi either. She didn’t know either of us, she lied about that.
Matt: She wouldn’t lie to me.
Emily: She lied to all of us. I’m sorry you feel angry at her but it’s really not my fucking problem.
Matt: I need the truth, this isn’t all of it.
Emily: No.
Matt: Emily, what are you scared of? We can help each other.
Emily, why’d you bring up Naomi? And Matt, you confuse me. How could you help each other? Is this The Sopranos? Sads.
