In February 2015, Autostraddle launched The Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey, open to all “lady-types who sleep with lady-types.” We garnered over 8,566 complete responses (89% of which were from people between the ages of 18 and 36) and now we’re sharing the results with you, bit by bit. Today, we’re talking about period sex.
How someone feels about having sex during their period is a surprisingly good indicator of how they feel about lots of other types of sex, according to the Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey. Across the board, people who answered they were “enthusiastically in favor” of sex on their period were more likely to have more, longer, and more satisfying sex; more likely to be ecstatic in their relationships; more likely to prefer non-monogamous relationships; more likely to be kinky (and among kinky people, more likely to be up for anything); more likely to use safer sex practices; and more likely to report overall satisfaction with their sex lives compared to people “strongly against” sex on their period.
Period sex might as well be the new shorthand for whether someone is likely to be adventurous in bed. I was so fascinated by this that I broke it down across almost every category we examined, and on almost every single question, people enthusiastically in favor of sex on their period were also more likely to be enthusiastically in favor of anything else. It’s too bad there are so few of them.
Sex On Your Period, Sex On Hers
To start, we asked how respondents feel about sex during their period and how they feel about sex during a partner’s period. (Elsewhere, 92% of survey respondents defined sex as “any time you are with at least one other person and someone is trying to make someone have an orgasm.”) When it came to sex during their period, 37% of respondents were enthusiastically or somewhat in favor, 24% were neutral, and 23% were somewhat or strongly against it. (There were also some respondents for whom the question was not applicable.) When it came to sex during a partner’s period, 42% were enthusiastically or somewhat in favor, 33% were neutral, and 23% were somewhat or strongly against it.
To some extent, how someone felt about sex during their period indicated how they felt about sex during a partner’s. For instance, only two people were enthusiastically into sex during their periods but strongly against sex during a partner’s, and I can only assume these people misread the question or are assholes or virgins who can’t drive. (I investigated. Neither was a virgin.) And 59% of those strongly against sex during a partner’s period were also against sex during their own. Largely, however, respondents were more positive or neutral about sex during a partner’s period than during their own.
Interestingly, 82% of those enthusiastically into sex during their period were in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship, and 62% of those strongly against were. It’s possible that people in relationships are more comfortable having sex during their period, but it’s not universally true.
Period Sex And How Good Your Sex Life Is
Comparing across those enthusiastically in favor of sex on their period versus those strongly against sex on their period as the site of the most dramatic difference was where things started to get interesting. Only 12% of respondents said they were enthusiastically in favor of sex during their own period (from here on, just “period sex”), while 12% were strongly against it. Those two groups acted like opposite ends of a gradient, with “somewhat for,” “neutral,” and “somewhat against” spaced about evenly between them for almost every question.
What I found? How someone feels about period sex is a pretty good indicator of how good the rest of their sex life is. And the more into period sex someone was, the better that sex life.
Those enthusiastically in favor of period sex had sex more often; 66% of those enthusiastically in favor of period sex have sex once a week or more, compared to 34% of those strongly against. They were also more likely to have sex that lasts longer: 56% reported an average sexual encounter of one to two hours or more versus 51% of those strongly against. Those strongly against were also way more likely to have sexual encounters lasting under 15 minutes (6% for them versus 1.5% for those enthusiastically for).
Those in favor of period sex also reported being more confident in bed: 49% feel “very confident,” compared to 25% for those strongly against.
Since how much and how often aren’t everything, we also asked about respondents’ satisfaction with their relationships if they were in any, and with their sex lives overall.
For those in at least one non-monogamous relationship of any kind, 53% of those enthusiastically in favor of period sex are ecstatic about that relationship compared to 27% of those strongly against. They were also a little more likely to make out with their partners for fun instead of to lead to sex once a day or more (54% vs 43%) and more likely to try something new in bed a few times a month or more (72% vs 46%). And, they were more likely to talk about sex with partners once a day or more (59% vs 24%) and more likely to report feeling “very successful” communicating about sex (89% vs 54%).
For those in a monogamous relationship, 86% of those enthusiastically in favor of period sex are ecstatic about that relationship compared to 57% of those strongly against. They were also more likely to make out with their partners for fun instead of to lead to sex once a day or more (71% vs 47%) and more likely to try something new in bed a few times a month or more (51% vs 24%). And they were more likely to talk about sex with partners once a day or more (61% vs 30%) and more likely to report feeling “very successful” communicating about sex (92% vs 60%).
Finally, those enthusiastically in favor of period sex were more likely to be satisfied with their sex lives overall; 35% said they were “very satisfied,” compared to 16% of those strongly against.
Period Sex and What Your Sex Life Looks Like
Feelings about period sex are also a good indicator of what that sex life looks like. Again, nearly across the board, being into period sex made it more likely respondents would be into… pretty much everything else.
Those enthusiastically in favor of period sex were:
- More likely to be up for a partner watching them masturbate (50% vs 16%), and more likely to want to watch a partner masturbate (74% vs 41%);
- More likely to use sex toys alone (54% vs 39%) or with a partner (52% vs 24%) once a week or more; and
- More likely to be exclusively or very interested in kink (57% vs 28%).
Even among kinky people, those enthusiastically in favor of period sex are more likely to be interested in giving or receiving — for example — impact play with hands (79% vs 60%) or toys (62% vs 43%), power play (74% vs 52%), face slapping (52% vs 31%), blindfolding (86% vs 77%), hair pulling (93% vs 81%), biting (94% vs 89%), light bondage (88% vs 73%), heavy bondage (48% vs 29%), marks (67% vs 48%), nipple play (62% vs 41%), orgasm control (71% vs 54%), pain (67% vs 45%), consensual non-consent/”rape” play (44% vs 28%), scratching (83% vs 71%), temperature play (68% vs 52%), play piercing (12% vs 5%), gags (45% vs 27%), exhibitionism/voyeurism (58% vs 33%), service (51% vs 31%), role play (67% vs 49%), and, perhaps unsurprisingly, blood play (21% vs 7%).
Even though in some cases the difference was small, those enthusiastically in favor of period sex were more into the activity to hand than those strongly against, with the likelihood someone would be interested in an activity largely decreasing along with their enthusiasm for period sex.
Those enthusiastically in favor of period sex were also less likely to take part in unsafe sexual behavior, with 53% reporting that they don’t use protection, versus 63% of those strongly against. This number seems high; queer women are notoriously bad at safer sex. They were also more likely to always discuss safer sex with first-time (46% vs 36%) and long-term (48% vs 33%) partners, though this might have also been because they were more likely to have been diagnosed with an STI (16% vs 7%) — though since those strongly against were also way more likely to report having never been tested for STIs, that may not be representative.
There you have it! Everything you never wanted to know about period sex but have been forced to find out. The great thing about looking at a pile of data is that it lets you discover overall trends, but we didn’t have an open-ended response question about period sex, so please share your stories in the comments!
