Letter From Your Editors

Hello Pioneers!

Welcome to the 15th edition of everybody’s favorite insider newsletter and deer-gazette created by Autostraddle, for Autostraddlers. This month has really flown by and been so busy that I accidentally ordered “tidbits” instead of “timbits” at Tim Horton’s. The good news is that I finally got through to East Bay Municipal Utility District to get my name off the water bill for my old apartment, so if you were up all night worried about that, worry no more!

This has been a weird but important month! The winners of the Autostraddle Comics and Sequential Awards were announced, Julia Nunes released the best alum ever, we did a soft launch of the new merch store (we’re waiting to do a post / “hard launch” until they’ve got all our inventory ready-to-ship circa September 3oth), Queer Mama had her baby, Carmen moved across the country, Brittani Nichols became so famous she had to change her name on Facebook and there was an article about us on Broadly (Which we like overall! But we also really wish Heather & Yvonne hadn’t been left out, that our work to fix our problems had been noted instead of just the problems and that it wasn’t so WHITE and cis) (I haven’t read it personally because I have too much anxiety and not enough xanax, this is just what I’ve heard.). Then Fall Television started and it turned out that in addition to all real people being gay, every woman on television is also gay, which means Heather has probably slept like three hours last week.

Also, Heather’s transitioning Fan Fiction Friday into a once-a-month affair that will “include fan fiction recommendations, of course, but it will now also offer you news round-ups about fan culture, interviews with fic writers and TV writers and TV recappers and TV directors, mini-essays about fandom from people in fandom, polls, discussion questions, infographics, advice about harnessing the power of fandom to affect real change, and a grab bag where I answer questions people have been asking me.” You should check out the first installment of this new endeavor ’cause it’s great.

We hope you’ve enjoyed our wonderful A+ content this month: The A+ Bee #27, The A+ Bee #26 and Some Answers To Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us #2 as well as Going Home With My Ghosts, which is basically a book that I wrote you. Yup. I wrote you a picture book and I hope you liked it! Sorry that the A+ content has been a little light this month, it’s been wildly busy around here. We’ll make it up to you soon!

This week we’re doing a cool thing with GLSEN for Ally Week which’ll be lots of fun. We’re also really gonna get an e-mail newsletter started this month and do something solid with our ambient anxiety regarding a more professional social media situation.

Love,

Riese
co-signed by Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

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Top 10 Most Popular Posts From August 2015

These posts were hella popular last month.

1. The 100 Best Lesbian Movies Of All Time, by Riese Bernard & Heather Hogan

I started this post during the summer of 2014, which required watching a shit-ton of lesbian films I’d never seen before and mostly hated. I mean, there are some epically terrible lesbian movies out there! But the first step was a survey I gave out to our staff members who write about movies, asking them to pick their favorites. I used that list, in combination with reviews and my own personal opinion to put together the top 100. Almost exactly a year later, the post finally went live! Just in time for a bunch more movies to come out that’ll probs deserve spots…

2. Lesbian Sex: Your 15 Favorite Ways to Have It, by Riese Bernard
3. How Dare They Do This Again: Stonewall Veteran Miss Major on the “Stonewall” Movie, by Mey Rude
4. Rebel Girls: 95 Photos of Feminists From Around the World, by Carmen Rios
5. “About Ray”‘s Director Doesn’t Seem To Understand That Trans Boys Aren’t Girls, by Mey Rude
6. Kristen Stewart Isn’t Straight: Actress Addresses Sexuality Rumors, Says “I’m Not Hiding,” by Stef Schwartz
7. Pretty Little Liars Episode 610 Recap: I Feel A Lot Safer When I’m In Charge Of What Happens To Me, by Heather Hogan
8. 24 Actions You NEED to Take To Help Trans Women of Color Survive, by Lexi Adsit
9. I’m An Adult and I Have No Idea How to Make Friends, by Kate Severance
10. 21 More Lesbian Slang Terms You’ve Probably Never Heard Before, by Riese Bernard

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Rachel: Good work finding a hand with short fingernails for this cell phone stock photo Yvonne
Nice attention to detail
Yvonne: Just doing my job

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Alex: Can we just pay for the annual membership for shopify? Can we take the hit now?
Riese: Yeah I think we can, yes.
Alex: Ok
I guess put it in your calendar: on Sept 14, 2016 you’ll be charged $852 again.
Riese: Okay if I’m still alive I guess
Alex: Yeah. That’s how I feel.
Riese: You’ll probably be in your tiny house by then
sleeping on your breakfast
Laneia: “I woke up this morning in a bowl of steel cut oats that Mary and I purchased last Sunday, direct from the oatery.”
Riese: “I wanted to take a shower today, but my giant dog was sleeping in the sink!”
Alex: :joy:
Riese: Living your best life, 1.5 square feet at a time

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Riese: Somebody wrote an article for me and Heather and Laneia to understand how to deal with Rachel and Yvonne, those rapscallions: How Generation Xers Are Driving Millenials Crazy In The Workplace
“Xers tend to believe people need to pay their dues before voicing opinions.”
Rachel: You guys better not start trying to tell me what to do!
Riese: “Don’t take Xers’ skepticism personally. Xers grew up questioning everything. Expect them to give the pros and the cons to even the best of ideas.”
“When you do receive a compliment from an Xer, you’ve done an great job.”
Rachel: This reminds me, Riese, of an issue I’ve been wanting to raise
Riese: Oh good
Rachel: Really low incidence of trophies in the workplace
Riese: I was afraid this would come up
Rachel: I was expecting many more trophies than have been awarded
is there a plan in place re: the trophies
perhaps some sort of trophy task force
to figure out how to get me, a millennial, more trophies
Riese: Do you require literal trophies or would a trophy emoji be okay
Rachel: Well it’s a start
Heather: You could probably also get a comment award today in addition to the emoji, just a thought I had!
Riese: Yeah, what about a comment award?
Rachel: Mmmm i’ll take it.
:-/

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Riese: Christian rapper and former lesbian shares how she overcame her same-sex attraction:

“Christian rapper and former lesbian Jackie Hill-Perry, 26 is really speaking from experience when she shares how church leaders can help people who are struggling with same-sex attraction – and that is by understanding that one’s identity is more than just their sexuality.”

Stef:

“After talking to church leaders, she said she realised that her struggle was not with lesbianism but “with hatred, bitterness, laziness, gluttony, lack of stewardship, pride.”

man I do struggle with a lot of those things
Do you think maybe I’m not really queer and i just eat too many snacks
Riese: What is a “lack of stewardship”
Laneia: That is probably what’s happening, yes Stef
Stef: Something about responsible planning
like if I ate more salads and paid more attention to my google calendar maybe I’d be married to a nice Jewish boy by now

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Riese: Okay well all I know is that she told me [the broadly piece] is a good story and she thinks I’ll like it but I might not like everything because ‘not everybody likes how they are written about.’
Laneia: WHAT
OH CHRIST
Riese: She said that to me six weeks ago, I’ve just been holding it inside
Laneia: I’m just going to start drinking alka seltzer now
listening to Taylor Swift and Michelle Branch
Riese: My mom gave me a Xanax with her lawyer’s business card [for an unrelated situation] but it must be baby Xanax
Laneia: Maybe I’ll take Xanax until I can’t breathe
aw I’m imagining it like placed delicately atop the card
GOD I’M NOT READY
I’M NOT READY, JESUS
I just screamed out loud and now the dogs are upset
fucking dogs
Rachel: The dogs are also not ready
Laneia: I just want to yell really loudly and satanically WHAAAAT IS IT GOING TO SAAAAAYYYYYYYY NICOLLLLLE
Rachel: What if we just publish a blurry photo of like a strawberry with the headline “is this Samantha Ronson’s vulva????” and see what happens
I bet Broadly isn’t expecting that
Laneia: That’s a good plan Rachel
the best defense is a good offense
Rachel: Where is Tim Riggins
I feel like he knows what to do
What play to call
Riese: I think he’d get drunk and sleep through practice
and then maybe have sex with Lyla Garrety
basically “the life”

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Stef: YOU GUYS. What is happening.

Laneia: Wait when you type in the next letter it gets even weirder!
what in the peas is happening
Maddie: Y’all don’t search for “Evan Rachel wood Bison” regularly??
Stef: What have we done
Maddie: I would appreciate a vapid fluff post on Evan Rachel wood bison and/or biscuits
Laneia: What sick fuck is out there looking for her birth chart. psychos.
Stef: Uh I dunno what happened but when i search for ‘evan rachel wood bis’ my options are “bisexuell,” “biseksualna,” “biseksual”
no bison to be found, just foreign bisexuality
Maddie: That’s too bad
Stef: Do I spend more time googling polish bisexuals than bison? Who can say
however when I google “evan rachel wood bisexual” we’re the fourth thing to come up
Riese: Maybe she’s biseksual now
not bisexual
OMG the number one result

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Heather: Oh man, Stef, your nightmare is here!

Stef: What is happening
Heather: I truly do not know
Laneia: Bah
Heather: It’s like inception! Look behind them!
Laneia: The creepy man also!
Stef: god
Laneia: He knows all your secrets
Stef: Is Taylor Swift running for class president or what
WE GET IT YOU HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS
Laneia: God I wish that could be the title of a post. Any post
Stef: I SAW THE TABLE WITH ALL THE CUPCAKES WITH YOUR FACE ON THEM IN THE FRONT HALLWAY BY THE AUDITORIUM
She’s the Tracy Flick of pop
This makes me the whatever Matthew Broderick’s name was in that movie of pop, which I’m not thrilled about, but whatever

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Rachel: In other, lighter news I want to share with everyone that there is a segment of a hot dog on the section of our roof that we can see from the bedroom window
not a whole hot dog
just part of one
Heather: HOW!
Rachel: It is balanced on an eave
Heather: This story keeps getting weirder!
Rachel: I do not know! It’s not even the part of the roof that’s over the backyard, where one might conceivably grill food or eat it!
it’s the roof on the front of the house, over the front porch
Heather: A HOT DOG!
Rachel: Is this the beginning to one of those creepy stories on reddit where I discover a drifter has been living on top of our roof for months
Laneia: It’s a gift! A gift from nature!
Rachel: From the part of nature that produces hot dogs
Heather: The Hot Dog Tree
Laneia: Like the opposite of that bird that brought the little girl all those treasures
Heather: Like the giving tree but with hot dogs
Laneia: Mhm it just wants you to be happy
Rachel: How did we end up with the shittiest giving tree of them all
it’s not even a tofu dog
Heather: Forgive me, but that kid in the giving tree is an entitled little jerk
If I had a giving tree, I would want it to be nachos, I think
Laneia: I think I’d want stickers
Heather: Queer women of color tv showrunners
and a second, smaller nacho one
Yvonne: I think I want the obvious here, a money tree
Riese: Same
Rachel: showrunners who are holding a pan of fresh nachos and are like no, you have them, seriously, I’m so full
Laneia: Let’s have a greenhouse and just cross pollinate and see what happens
Heather: that’s a good idea laneia. we’ll do a photoessay of the process.
Laneia: all i want in life is more photoessays!
and a vat of rosewater to dunk my whole head into

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Stef: I ‘m not super proud of myself but once in a while I have been entertaining the company of a younger gentleman I work with who has no idea who I am as a human being and doesn’t really know I’m some kind of queermo and once asked me based on instagram observation if a-camp was an “anti-patriarchy camp” and he just came up to me like “HEY HOW WAS THAT LESBIAN WEDDING?!?? BOY, THOSE LESBIANS SURE KNOW HOW TO PARTY.”
this poor kid is going to be so sad one of these days
I don’t even know where to start with this kid
Laneia: Well I think the obvs first thing to say is YEAH LESBIANS ARE FUCKING WACKY!
HAVE YOU BEEN TO A LEZZY RAGER? OH MAN

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Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Al(ex) Rosenberg, Writer

Twitter: sportsmyballs

What is your number one favorite game?
What a question! Does footsie count? No? I’d say The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. It was my first toe-dip into sandbox games and it continues to rock my world.

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
The giant fire-breathing dragon. Is that an emoji? I don’t have them.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
Ugh, probably the last date I went on with my ex. I was late, it was a friend’s birthday breakfast, but I thought it was going really well. On the drive home we were making plans for Valentine’s Day, but when we got to my house she suddenly dumped me.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?
Readers’ response to WomenWriteAboutComic’s Indiegogo! We work so hard at making WWAC great, and it’s nice to know that our readers think so too! My team of writers makes me so proud and grateful everyday.

What’s your favorite thing on the internet today?
I just caught up with the current pages of The Blue Valkyrie, sooo good, it’s the story of an awesome trans superhero.

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Misguided Pitch Of the Month

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What We’ve Been Reading

Raquel: Just finished Family Planning by my friend Karan Mahajan and started Lifted by A Great Nothing by another friend, Karim Dimechkie. Both great.

Stef: How To Get Into The Twin Palms by Karolina Waclawiak and Savage Girls and Wild Boys: A History of Feral Children by Michael Newton.

Audrey: Testo Yonqui: Sexo, Drogas, y Biopolítica by Beatriz Preciado (now known as Paul Preciado. Testo Junkie: Sex, Drugs and Biopolitics in the Pharmacopornographic Era)

Fikri: Freedom from the Press: Journalism and State Power in Singapore by Cherian George

Maddie: The Feminist Utopia Project: Fifty-Seven Visions of a Wildly Better Future edited by Alexandra Brodsky and Rachel Kauder Nalebuff

KaeLyn: Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics and the Limits of Law by Dean Spade

Mey: I just started reading Sacred Heart, by Liz Suburbia, and I’ve been reading and rereading the latest volume of Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples, ever since I got it last week.

Mari: I’m finally giving into the trans girl cliche and reading Nevada, by Imogen Binnie.

Carolyn: I’m about to start The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality, by Rachel Hills. I’m also reading Cinder by Marissa Meyer and rereading The Technology of Orgasm, by Rachel Maines.

Laura: Ms. Marvel Volume 1: No Normal, by G. Willow Wilson

Chloe: Turing’s Cathedral: The Origins of the Digital Universe, by George Dyson

Hannah: I just started A Mystic in the Theater, by Eva Le Galliene. It’s the definitive biography of Eleonora Duse, who was arguably the best actress in modern acting history.

Nikki: You’re Never Weird on the Internet by Felicia Day

Heather: For Darkness Shows the Stars by Diana Peterfreund

Beth: She Is Sitting in the Night: Revisioning Thea’s Tarot, by Oliver Pickle

Rachel: Daring Greatly, by Brené Brown

Riese: Just finished up Jane: A Murder (Soft Skull ShortLit) and it was great.

Laneia: Picked up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling for the very first time ever, maybe you’ve heard of it.

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MINI-INTERVIEW WITH A SENIOR STAFF MEMBER: CRYSTAL

What do you do in your job at Autostraddle?
I’m the HR Director, which means that I help resolve staff-related issues and advise the senior editors on things like effective team communications and contracts. Although over the past year or so there have been a lot of positive changes behind the scenes and so my input isn’t needed as much anymore. I still have the fancy job title but for now I’m mostly just writing about fitness and cheesecake.

What is your favorite part of this position?
Solving problems! I enjoy advising senior staff and writers on ways to navigate and resolve their work-related issues. In the past I’ve also really loved giving senior staff input into how Autostraddle can continue to be a super amazing and rewarding place to work.

What is something you dream to bring to Autostraddle?
More of my professional expertise, which is in business, people and brand strategy. I’m a far better strategist than I am writer. I’m about to move to the States and be unemployed for a while, so maybe that’ll bring opportunities to give more behind the scenes.

What’s the hardest part of your position?
Having difficult conversations with team members when they’re not meeting expectations, especially as they’ll likely be either my friend or someone I really admire. Thankfully it’s not something I’ve had to do in a long time now.

Favorite online writer/editor / or like your hero?
Riese and Laneia. I can’t choose a favourite because both write personal essays slay me every time. Everyone who writes and works here is just so damn interesting and talented, it’s ridiculous.

What do you wish people understood about your job?
HR is cool.

Favorite snack to eat while working?
Right now I’m eating an Uncle Tobys fig and apricot muesli bar and that’s pretty standard. Or when I’m stressed you can find me smashing Caramello Koalas.

What would be the song that a montage of you doing your job would be set to?
Summer of ‘69 by Bryan Adams.

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SLACKERS

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ABORTION TIME

Riese: I ‘m almost done with s1 of East Los High it is driving me crazy that Jacob and Jessie are still planning on getting married and Jessie is still keeping the baby I HOPE THEY BREAK UP AND SHE GETS AN ABORTION. Thank you all for listening.
Yvonne: Oh man yes I wanted to throw pillows at their faces
Riese: IT’S NOT EVEN HIS BABY
WHAT IS SHE THINKING
when her mom died I was like PHEW! Abortion time!
but nope
Yvonne: Hahahaha yes me too
Rachel: You’re going to love my new teen drama on the CW though, Riese, called “Abortion Time”
Riese: Is it a follow-up to Secret Life of the American Teenager
Secret Life of the American Teenager: The Next Generation
Alternate title “Abortion Time”
In the first ep a girl finds out she’s pregnant and then gets an abortion and then the rest is a normal teen drama
Rachel: It’s about a superheroine who bursts through walls like the kool-aid man in situations like that
and yells “abortion time!”
Riese: YES
That’s the character this show is missing
I mean, besides the lesbians
Rachel: She wears an analog watch but every hour is marked “abortion time”
Riese: You should probably wait to release the show until after my dream comes true of the government not defunding Planned Parenthood
Just to play it safe
So to speak
Yvonne: What got me through season 1 in the lesbian realm was thinking Maya was a lesbian
Riese: Before I knew that s2 would be when the lesbians showed up I was like OH THERE SHE IS
Yvonne: She’s got that Michelle Rod swag
Riese: “It’s the lesbian! Hello lesbian!”
and then she had an ex-boyfriend and had a crush on jessie’s boyfriend and i was like SIGH
ABORTION TIME!

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September Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous September Riese thinks you might enjoy.

Listicle Without Commentary: Puzzling References To Homosexuality From Journals Found In My Room While Packing To Move to San Francisco, by Riese (2010) – Because I’ve always been really in touch with my feelings, obviously (although unfortunately I didn’t come across this gem while making that post.) This feels appropriate because I just moved back from San Francisco to Michigan, so: full circle.

Oh Hell No: When Your Girlfriend Publicly Hates On You, by Gabby (2012) – Y’all Gabby Rivera just cuts RIGHT DOWN TO THE BONE of things, you know? Just slices right through the bullshit and is never EVER afraid to be honest as fuck, even when the truths are ugly. There’s all this advice in there and then just when you think it couldn’t get even one tiny bit realer, Gabby just sits you down and tells you a tale about this horrific relationship she used to be in and holds nothing back. So. Check it out.

Top Ten Fantasy Novels That Have Gay People In Them, by Carolyn Yates (2011) – Carolyn has been telling you what to read for basically your entire life, assuming your life began when you started reading Autostraddle. Plus there are even more wonderful suggestions in the comments.

Please Don’t Thank Me For Loving My Wife, by Genevra Reid (2013) – This is a gutsy and honest piece by a really fantastic writer about her discomfort around being “thanked” just for loving her transgender wife — because that’s not something anybody should have to be thanked for and because she’s not always sure she’s doing really good at being a wife in the first place.

How To Cut Up Your T-Shirt, DIY Style, by Laneia (2010) – Five years later, this post remains one of our most popular — and one I admittedly reference every single time I cut myself a new shirt. Which is a lot.

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FRITO-LAYS FOR LGBT YOUTH

Maddie: To go with your proud whopper: “Go Buy a Bag of These Doritos Rainbows to Support LGBT Causes. The chip-maker has partnered with the It Gets Better Project.”
Rachel: Remember when that gawker media writer ate all those mozzarella sticks at TGI Friday’s for a piece
what if we had somebody commit to eating only corporate pride-themed foods for a day and documented it
Audrey: If I were in Texas…
Riese: That mozzarella stick article is one of the top 10 funniest things i’ve ever read on the internet
Rachel: I will personally send a vegan care package of detox foods to help cure your liver to anyone who will do this
I will be morgan spurlock’s weird vegan girlfriend to your morgan spurlock
Riese: IT’S JUST SO GROSS
Doritos are basically POISON! encouraging gay youth to think of Doritos as anything besides junk food that we love to eat even though it’s bad for us is so gross and it makes me mad.
Audrey: Also isn’t Coors doing a pride beer thing?
Rachel: Zesty end-the-school-to-prison-pipeline flavor doritos!
crisp, refreshing close-the-wage-gap coors!
Riese: Cheetos for PETAs!
Rachel: Hot, fresh anti-bullying fries!
Riese: Kentucky Fried Chicken Breasts for Breast Cancer!
Audrey: Whoppers Against Racism
Rachel: Black Angus Burgers Matter!
Riese: Dr. Pepper For Universal Healthcare!
Baby Ruth Bars For Aborted Babies!
Mr. Goodbar For Court-Appointed Attourneys!
Red Bull For Animal Husbandry!
Maddie: Oh I’m sad i dropped that link here and then missed social justice junk food time
Audrey: It’s ok Maddie, I saved you some M&Ms Against Drunk Driving.

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Look at our NSFW Editor Carolyn Marrying Shannon Watters of Lumberjanes fame

View this post on Instagram

Got a preview of some wedding photos and can't stop ogling @shanito

A post shared by Carolyn (@c_yates) on Sep 21, 2015 at 7:56pm PDT

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ALUMNI NEWSLETTER

Gabrielle Korn, Contributing Editor, One and a Half Years at Autostraddle

A photo posted by Gabrielle Korn (@gabriellekorn) on Jul 19, 2015 at 6:46am PDT

What are you doing without us?
I’m working at NYLON as the deputy digital editor, which means I’m in charge of the content that lives online. In between Autostraddle and NYLON I was the beauty editor at Refinery29. Mostly what I am doing without Autostraddle is trying to fill the AS-shaped hole in my heart, though.

What do you miss the most about me?
I miss Autostraddlers in my inbox. Seriously, emailing with the staff all day was pretty much the most fun thing ever. It was like being part of a special tiny family of perfect queer weirdos. I also miss the readers. Writing for Autostraddle felt like telling my friends a story, it never felt like work. Hey actually can I write for you still? I will. I’m around. Whatever you need. I LOVE YOU.

Would you invite us to your wedding, yes or no?
I would obviously invite you to my wedding. Would you want to come?!?! That is the bigger question.

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Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

“Her Story” Stars Wanna Tell Real Trans Love Stories by Mey

Y’all! This is just the coolest thing! Are you not freaking out that you could watch — for free! online! — a show centered around trans women’s dating lives, not just their transitions, that’s written and staffed by trans women? And features a relationship between a bi woman and a lesbian? I mean shut the front door. The conversation that Jen Richards and Angelica Ross had with Mey is so powerful and honest and I feel like I grew as a person by reading it and I suspect you will too!

Party Like It’s 1995: The Rise and Fall of the Girl Game, by Al

I am very much not A Gamer and so to be honest I expected my interest in this as a reader to be only moderate, but I was wrong! This will be of interest not only to Gamers but also people who have any interest in the three-way truck crash between technology, gender and capitalism, which I think describes probably most people here one way or another. Check it out! Come back and tell me what you thought about it!

Kate Beaton Tells Us What Would Happen If Lois Lane Met Wonder Woman by Mey

Maybe this is just me being neurotic but sometimes I worry that people don’t realize when we publish interviews with really amazing people, like maybe you thought the title of this post was just like a reference to something Kate Beaton had said on the internet somewhere, but actually it’s a reference to a real conversation she had with Mey because Mey interviewed Kate Beaton!!! I’m just so proud still whenever we get interviews with cool famous people. It’s a really great interview, you’ve got to read the part about Ida Wells, it’s amazing. This unfortunately still does not mean that we will ever be able to get an interview with Taylor Swift. Sorry, person who wants that.

Mo Welch and Dannielle Owens-Reid Are Making Lesbian Webseries Magic with Plus One, Dannielle and Mo

Y’all I’ll be honest, I am a hard sell when it comes to webseries. I am really averse to watching videos on the internet a lot of the time, probably because I have to turn off my music and white noise and whatever dumb thing is on Netflix in the background in order to watch it, it’s just a whole thing. BUT I really really wanted to watch Plus One after this! No one was more surprised than me, dear reader. I think you might like this! There’s a lot of pictures of Dannielle and Mo being really attractive and cute friends inside, too! Something for everyone, truly.

All of the Ultimate Back-to-School Advice for College-Bound Queers, by the team

I know that only a portion of you are college students, and of that portion only another, smaller portion are entering their first year of college, but I am just so gosh-darn proud of this post and I feel like even if you don’t need it personally, you maybe know someone who could benefit from it, or could benefit from you reading it. I used to teach college freshmen and when I think back upon them, I feel strongly that all of them — the ones who emailed me at 8:40 am asking for feedback on papers that were due at 9 am, the ones who had unplanned pregnancies, the ones who printed their work out two minutes before class and never had a stapler, the ones who cried in my office, the ones who were excellent students but somehow thought my name was something different than it is the entire semester — would have gotten something out of this. Perhaps you will too!

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Rachel’s Pick of the Month

Even if you are not an employee, you still must wash your hands. I would like to humbly recommend that you do this with Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day Hand Soap in Rhubarb. I have some in my bathroom right now and let me tell you, reader: I am going to restock on Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day Rhubarb Hand Soap. It smells fucking fantastic — arguably better than actual rhubarb, and I love rhubarb. If you don’t know what rhubarb smells like, let me tell you! It smells fruity but also sharp and fresh and not citrusy at all, so if you are not into your hands smelling like lemon Pine-Sol then this is great news for you. It is also very effective hand soap! I cleanse my face with oil at night, which is another recommendation for another day, but it means that my hands are just basically covered in oil afterward, and one pump of this soap gets it off entirely without drying out my hands. The scent is pleasingly powerful as you’re washing your hands, but fades relatively quickly, if permanently smelling like delicious rhubarb is a concern for you. I don’t know what the word “aromatherapeutic” on the bottle means and possibly it’s total bullshit, but you know what, I am willing to open up my heart to it. A lot of things in life aren’t perfect, friends, but this hand soap might be.

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Social Media Spotlight

Did you know you we’ve compiled helpful Twitter lists for you so that you can follow us and people we care about in a streamlined way so you never miss any of our important tweets? For example, we have a senior editors Twitter list. These tweets below are why you should be following our senior editors! Also, though, we have so many other public lists! Comedy crushes and cartoonists and A-Camp staff and televisionaries and so much more. Carmen made them for you and you can check them all out here.

On my deathbed I'm going to wheeze out a list of f/f pairings TV writers wanted but networks and studios refused to let them happen.

— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 24, 2015

https://twitter.com/grrreen/status/646184890287808512

My Catholic dad texted me about the Pope visiting NYC and my phone definitely autocorrected Jesus to Vanderjesus when I texted him back.

— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 21, 2015

EVERYBODY ON TV IS A LESBIAN IT'S OFFICIAL

— riese (@autowin) September 25, 2015

"If you don't mind me interrupting you gazing adoringly at your girlfriend, we have a goat cheese cheesecake tonight."

— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 19, 2015

a dystopian YA novel where an ordinary yet courageous teen heroine has to fight the system and end the GOP frontrunners debate

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) September 17, 2015

how is this debate still happening. i have aged 400 years

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) September 17, 2015

It's a good thing I have such talented friends, what if I'd made a website with a bunch of dummies

— riese (@autowin) September 19, 2015

"Darling, I love you, but you know I cannot engage with you until I've had at least one cup of coffee." – me to the Roomba

— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 13, 2015

not sure whether today’s personal high was googling “how much naproxen is too much” or finding a tortilla chip in my bra

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) September 16, 2015

when an L.A.-based celebrity photographer who just got back from cabo threatens to sue a 33-year-old who lives with her mom in michigan

— riese (@autowin) September 11, 2015

having cats as pets is a good idea if you enjoy being haunted by poltergeists that you also have to feed and care for

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) September 10, 2015

https://twitter.com/grrreen/status/641639713984524290

https://twitter.com/grrreen/status/639952141931515904

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The L’Empire

Gabby: So is Ilene fucking Chaiken gonna ruin Empire?
like is that whats gonna happen now??
Aja: It figures
Gabby: Ugh but did you watch the new episode? Is Marisa Tomei queen of the predatory lesbian vampires on the hunt for woc?
Stef: She was Helena’s terrible poker girlfriend, 10 years later
I assume at some point this season dana will come back to life
Gabby: And Jamal will show up w Jenny as his date cuz you know what? She came back from the fucking dead nbd
Stef: No way
Lisa the lesbian identified man
Probably Kit Porter is overdue for a cameo
Gabby: Kit Porter has a hit out on Cookie so Cookie finds Ivan
then decides to sign Ivan to steal the limelight from Jamal
Hakeem will date Tasha & Alice
cuz lesbians are cool like that
Stef: Cookie finally gets hakeem to get into the studio but somer is lateyou know there is an entire Hakeem/Lover Cindi storyline
Gabby: Is this is a post? 23 ways Ilene Chaiken is gonna L Word Empire?
Stef: Yes
Yes it is
Gabby: This new episode was like…
Stef: Yeah once she brought ol’ shoulderpads into it
Gabby: HI IM ILENE CHAIKEN CONTROLLER OF EMPIRE REMEMBER THE L WORD??
Stef: We have probably a season and a half before we’re in full blown max’s willy wonka baby shower
Gabby: Yo yes.
Rise: Hakeem starts touring with Betty
Stef: Nobody at Empire can figure out who signed Betty
or why they are there
it turns into a massive blame game
spoiler alert it was Rhonda
there has to be a club scene where hakeem and papi meet
Gabby: But we find BooBoo Kitty having lunch with Carmen de la Pica Morales
behind EVERYONES back
cuz Carmen wants her revenge
Stef: (extended storyline about tiana’s ultimately futile attempts to join hunter valentine)
Gabby: Omg when Hakeem & Papi meet can they be wearing the same outfit
Stef: Yes and it’s so awkward
Romi styles Tiana for a shoot, everybody at empire has feather earrings
Stef: lol at him going into that meeting on his hoverboard
feeling so cooooool
Gabby: Loved that tho
Stef: So perfect
Gabby: Like loved it
Stef: That terrible little prince
Gabby: Papi’s hoverboard is shaped like a limo tho
#branding
Stef: Circles are great, Papi
seriously I’m living for Kit Porter singing ‘Bareback Lover’ or whatever with Jamal
and Cookie’s so into that song
or maybe her menopause song
TRAAAAAAANSFORMATION
DEEE-EE-EEEEEEVIATION
Gabby: Also Rhonda & Tina having a White Wives of Poc coffee date tho
Ok I need to stop
Aja: I love this fake real thing. I am for it, and also I thought IFC had gotten a title bump or something in the new season?
Stef: Ilene “Executive Producer of The L Word, Executive Puppetmaster of Empire” Chaiken

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XOXO

Team Autostraddle