Letter From Your Editors

Happy Spring to all you April flowers! (And yes, I realize that it’s April showers that bring May flowers, but “Happy Spring to all you April showers!” did not have the same ring to it, so y’all are just gonna have to let me have this one.)

Carmen / Em / Motti / Ashni / Drew
Gabbie / Kayla / Nic / Nico / Sa’iyda
Riese / Stef / Tima / Valerie Anne

Seriously!! Can you believe it’s Spring already? I don’t know why, but it feels like 2024 is just zooming on by. Some of that, I’m sure, comes from the fact that since we’ve last gotten together (for our 15^th birthday, awwww!!), my life has been marked by:

1. The new Beyoncé album! And yes I will always count each album as a life event. If you don’t know that, you don’t know me at all.
2. My baby cousin got gay married! Is it terrible to still call them by baby cousin if they are in their early 30s? Whatever, I was there when they came home from the hospital. They’re my baby, they will always be my baby, and they got married to the love of their life! Which is as amazing and as chaotic as I’m sure anyone who’s been involved in a close family wedding can attest!
3. I got to spend 29 hours in New York City last weekend! I won’t make you sit through travel details like when a friend comes back from vacation and all they can talk about is that vacation, and you end up having to fight not to roll your eyes. I’ll just say that there is something so rewarding (if not a whirlwind) to be in a place you once called home, that grew you into who you became, and see if from new eyes. Also I got to publicly introduce one of my favorite films in front of a live audience and see our very own Drew Gregory!!!

Ok enough of the Carmen Phillips Personal Memories Scrapbook (oh did you want to also see photos of my cousin’s wedding? I have that, too!). What’s been going on along the Autostraddle way?

I want to congratulate Kayla on a massively successful April Fool’s Day! She captained a ship of publishing 20 joke posts in 20 minutes to paper our entire homepage in honor of the day. And to help put that into perspective, 20 posts is roughly three days worth of content,which means that Kayla (along with Motti, who runs our social media and graphics/packaging) had to coordinate three days worth of work — all to publish between 4 and 4:20am PST. One post a minute. It was enthralling, and the amount of work that took to pull off cannot be understated!! Plus the jokes really hit. And yes, on one level I mean they “hit” in that they made our community have a good laugh. But also! They hit in that Google mistakingly thought this post about an unnamed Pop Star Coming Out as Gay (And a Cryptid) was real, landing us at the top of the algorithm for a few days with a sweet little traffic boost.

The past month in particular, Drew and Kayla have been editing and publishing some truly outstanding reported pieces and other writing that we are so incredibly proud of! This kind of on the ground queer reporting and reflections, elevating smaller and overlooked stories of the people we spend our daily life with the culture we create, is what we believe Autostraddle’s platform is here for —and we thank you, our members, for being the backbone of support that allows this work to thrive and continue! We’re so proud of it, in fact, that we are going to create a new section of the Insiders moving forward dedicated to highlighting these works in our Editor Picks, so you can look forward to catching everything that you missed! Get a cup of iced tea (or hot tea, Spring weather is so f*cking weird) and enjoy!

While we are on the topic of members (that’s you!) being great (you are!), this month we published some great AF+ advice boxes, in their new weekly format, and I hope you are getting as much joy and compassion out of reading them that we are writing them! We also had your weekly AF+ crosswords, for all my puzzle heads!

I’ve been… really into evening walks lately!?! Have you ever tried one? Just like.. walking around as the sun sets? It’s free? And it’s nice? What?

Love,
Carmen / Nico / Kayla / Riese / Drew

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What The Team Can’t Get Enough of This Month

Kayla: This month, I cannot get enough of the Florida Film Festival! It’s my first time attending Florida Film Festival events and screenings since moving to Orlando, and I am seeing several films and short films a day for its 10-day run. I LOVE CINEMA!!!!!!!

Valerie: This month, I cannot get enough of Horizon Forbidden West. I finished the Burning Shores DLC two weeks ago (*squeals in gay*) but still can’t bring myself to say goodbye to Aloy so I have been just wandering around the world doing bonus tasks and finishing collections.

Drew: This month, I cannot get enough of the movie Challengers and the Challengers score. Ever since seeing a press screening I’ve been unable to talk about anything else! I’ve also been walking around listening to the score feeling INVINCIBLE.

Riese: This month, I cannot get enough of shrimp, I really like shrimp.

Ashni: This month, I cannot get enough of the show Girls5eva! It’s funny, it’s gay, and it’s set in New York! I’m only on Season 1 but I love this show!!

Stef: This month, I can’t get enough of the show The Americans. I don’t know WHY it took me so long to get into it, but man, I’m really loving it and forever hating the cops (YEAH, you TOO, Stan!!!).

Motti: This month, I can’t get enough of shooting myself with testosterone, watching Girls5Eva, and adding ranch seasoning to my broccoli.

Natalie: This month, I can’t get enough of the New York Times cooking series, Mystery Menu With Sohla and Ham. They’re so creative, charming, and adorable.

Carmen: This month, I can’t get enough of evening walks in the park (which absolutely makes me sound like a grandma, but it is so relaxing! And have you ever seen the sun set over a cute little family playing on a soccer field while you take a deep breath and listen to Megan thee Stallion through your headphones? Perfection.)

Sa’iyda: This month I can’t get enough of the podcast “What Went Wrong”. It talks about all the things that “went wrong” during the filmmaking process for well known movies. I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to them and learning more about how movies get made.

Nico: I can’t get enough of walking and running with my weighted vest on. Although I think it might be scaring people a little? It’s just a weighted vest, though, so what people should be doing is calming down. It’s not like I am the guy I saw in my neighborhood IN THE CITY in full hunting camo with a LOADED CROSSBOW going into the brush on the side of a highway to… hunt his dinner? (Seen while on a run, by the way.)

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Riese: joe biden has made a statement
Drew: Did he say he’d have transgenders’ backs
Riese: he did yes
Drew: Did he really???
Riese: “to all LGBTQI+ Americans for whom this tragedy feels so personal, know this: I will always have your back.”
Drew: His repeated use of the phrase makes me think it’s like Amelia Bedlia meets a reverse Buffalo Bill and he’s actually collecting our backs
Riese: i think that’s a strong theory
also he thinks u are brave
“Nonbinary and transgender people are some of the bravest Americans I know. But nobody should have to be brave just to be themselves.”
Drew: Thank you Joe
Kayla: he has too many backs
for someone without a spine
:sunglasses: got him

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Riese: I feel like we have to rank things, I think people don’t like lists unless they are ranked.
Drew: Hmm
Yeah that makes sense
Riese: i feel like when we say something is the Most or Best, people will click it more.
Drew: It makes sense I also want to see how other places rank stuff
I’m part of the problem
Riese: yeah if Rolling Stone ranked muffins, I would read it
even tho they aren’t a muffin-forward publication
I’d just be like “oh they picked the best muffin, let me take a look”
god what is the best muffin
Drew: Lemon poppyseed from Costco when I was 8

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Riese: i would want to be best friends with whomstever is the richest
and wants to give their money to all of us here
Drew: Ellen???

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Drew:

Lana Del Rey promotes her country album ‘Lasso’ by kissing her sister in new photos. pic.twitter.com/DO4mHzpgLx

— Lyric Vault (@LyricVault) March 26, 2024

I thought Lana was coming out but this is HER SISTER
(Click for a surprise )
Kayla: what in the nicole kidman’s virginia woolf in the hours is happening here
Nico: lana’s moving on from “Lolita” to “Flowers in the Attic”
Drew: Scared to find out what’s next

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Carmen: I know that technically only Billie Jean King is gay, but somehow spiritually all of this feels gay

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by TOGETHXR (@togethxr)

Drew: Perfect for Challengers week
Carmen: NOT A WEEK NOW
Drew: “Community note: Challengers week is not an official Autostraddle sponsored event” under all my tweets
Carmen: You’re single handedly going to get me to watch this movie
Drew: My work here is done!
(Until Challengers week itself of course)

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During our April Fools Day Brainstorm:

Kayla: What To Do When Someone Calls You a Queer Elder and You’re Literally 31-Years-Old
Riese: 10 Eye Creams To Stop 21-year-olds From Calling You a Queer Elder
They Called me a Queer Elder — But I’m Actually a Queer Welder
Kayla: The eye creams one… could really just be regular content on a regular day on the site. I also have legitimate eye cream recs lol
Riese: It could, but also we probably don’t want to genuinely endorse trying to look younger
Kayla: I DO want to LOOK YOUNGER
Riese: Microaggression? You Decide: My Very Young Co-Worker Said She Wants To Look Younger

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In a conversation about potential product colors:

Riese: I don’t like light blue
Motti: I’m very anti-teal but I’m outnumbered
Riese: Motti is all alone in hating Jenny Schecter and the color teal
Motti: (my opinions are correct)

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Carmen: Megan Thee Stallion did a naked photoshoot and my friends are enjoying it, but it’s not gay
It’s also not useful for a feature image, because legality 😔 but fun for your own personal eyes
Kayla: The photoshoot is very good
Carmen: Good is a phrase that is workplace appropriate, yes

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What We’re Reading

Kayla: A Reason To See You Again by Jami Attenberg

Valerie: Skin of the Sea by Natasha Bowen

Drew: Six Plays by Lillian Hellman

Riese: I Want You More by Swan Huntley

Stef: Like Love: Essays and Conversations by Maggie Nelson

Natalie: Dyscalculia by Camonghne Felix

Carmen: What Happened to Ruthy Ramirez by Claire Jimenéz

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🛥🦙🍸

Em Chadwick: Hi y’all – just needed to make a PSA that to me “🙃” is just a plain simple friendly smile… no subtext, no passive aggressive undertone … I’ve been informed that this emoji gets lost in translation!!!
Laneia: I always think of🙃as meaning like “!! can’t win ’em all i guess!” or some kind of passive incredulity at the situation
Em Chadwick: this is how Motti just explained it
Kayla: omg hahahaahaha
Em Chadwick: but I often just use instead of🙂 because upside down is cuter… and it seems I use “🤡” where everyone else uses “🙃”
Kayla: I guess I didn’t think about emojis having different semiotics regionally but MAKES SENSE
Em Chadwick: I’m so sorry to anyone I’ve accidentally worried with accidentally implied passive incredulity (that probably didn’t make contextual sense😂)
Kayla: 🙃is very “oh no” to me lololol
Nico: to me it’s like the boat has capsized and so the smiley is floating upside down and is NOT HAPPY
Laneia: wait when I say this, what do you think i mean: 🛥🦙🍸
Nico: Olivia Cruise
Laneia: 😩
Riese: ship sheep shoop
ship sheer shaken not stirred
Laneia: well this is PARTY LLAMA she’s been invited to a yacht party so she’s going to be fancy !!!!
Riese: Laneia how would we ever think of that
Nico: so I was right with the Olivia Cruise
iIdid think the llama was going
to the white party
Laneia: yeah Nico you nailed it
Riese: but basically it’s sheep ship shoop
Laneia: yes that too, the essence
Riese: 🥰
Kayla: 🚶🏽‍♀️what does this mean to ppl
Laneia: “I’ll see myself out”
Riese: “ok sorry bye”
Kayla: To me all these texts would mean the same thing:
I’m🚶🏽‍♀️
I’m😶‍🌫️
I’m🙆🏽‍♀️
Nico: woah
Kayla: And if this emoji existed in texting this would also mean the same thing:I’m

Laneia: I thought I knew what :kayla-with-tree: meant but now
Nico: how do people feel about this custom emoji truly wondering:

Laneia: “fashion” but in a grey gardens way and then everything that implies
Kayla: Laneia’s interpretation ofv accurate
does shift I think, contextually
Riese: yeah it shifts like Kayla herself

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Florida Wildlife Report

If you look closely, you’ll see a shed snake skin along the fence in my backyard here. Looks like a lil snake had a lil spring refresh moment. New skin, new me.

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Drew’s Nonsense Notes

I use my Notes app for… everything. I’m sure there’s a less chaotic way to organize everything from to-do lists to movie ideas to random observations but this is the one that works best for me! So each month I’ll share something random from my Notes app and try to decipher it for you.

I’m working on a new script and often inspiration strikes in the middle of the night which leads to typos especially when your main character is named Liv and the iPhone wants that to be live or… lob?

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I See We Have a Lot of Introverted Weirdos in the Crowd

Results from Autostraddle Quiz “Who Is Your Queer Celebrity BFF?“

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April Fools’ Day Headlines That Died, Much Like a Lesbian Bed

• How To Cure Lesbian Bed Death — By Dying
• How to Save Money On Your Wedding By Venmoing The Same $20 Back and Forth For Five Years
• How To Make Meaningful Eye Contact With the Stranger Across the Room Who You’re Pretty Sure Is Your Future Wife
• 10 Reasons Why You Should Never Date an Aquarius (Based on One Relationship with One Person)
• How To Be the Most Toxic Person in the Group Chat
• Brave! This Woman Resisted the Urge To Invite Her Ex-Girlfriend to Her Birthday Party
• Man! I Feel Like a Woman
• 5 Outfits That Will Have Her Asking, “Shane?”
• Skincare Tips for the Apocalypse
• Skincare Tips That Are Just Buying These Sponcon Products
• 7 Household Products That Can Be Used As Sex Toys Because You Can Stick Anything Up There
• Top 10 Lesbian Movies, Based On Jessica’s Letterboxd, So She Doesn’t Tell Us We Forgot Anything
• How To Ruin Your Parents’ Marriage by Coming Out
• Why It’s Good That Netflix Canceled the Show I Used to Watch With My Ex
• How to Fuck The Patriarchy By Leaving Your Man At The Altar
• How To Sabotage Your Annoying Straight Cousin’s Gender Reveal Party
• Tired of Being Single? Vote
• How To Tell Your Best Friend That Her Webseries Is Bad
• Straight Couples Who Aren’t Fucking Are Appropriating Lesbian Bed Death Culture
• Woman Loudly Arguing That Lesbian Bed Death Is a Myth at the Dyke Bar Hasn’t Had Sex With Her Wife in Three Months
• Lesbian Date Ideas: Take Her to a Gulch To Help Her Get Rid of the Body of the Man She Just Killed
• How To Replicate the Same High You Got From a Film Where Two Women Made Intense Eye Contact When You Were Closeted, Now That You’re Out and Jaded
• 5 Cosmetic Dermatology Surgeries I Only Want After Being in a Zoom Meeting With My Co-Workers

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What? It’s a Conveniently Located Priority Contact Box!

This is where you can ask your advice questions!

Nervous about being found out? Include a little note that you’d like some random identifying details changed and I, Nico, will edit it so that you live in Switzerland or something so your ex won’t know your question is about them. (But give us real deets so we give a good answer please. And if you actually live in Switzerland, well, you will become Canadian, then.)

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Editor’s Picks

This is where we leave you with things that are worth your time — the deep dives, the reported journalism, the thoughtful cultural criticism, and the artful personal essays your member dollars support. Challenge yourself, fill your cup, and get your gay eyes on these articles that our editorial team wanted to make sure didn’t pass you by.

“Rio’s Runway, Reimagined: Transmasc and Nonbinary Performers Expand Brazil’s Ballroom Scene” by Hannah McKenzie

Published April 11, 2024

This is a fantastic reported feature about transmasc and nonbinary ballroom performers in Rio that contextualizes this scene within the overall history of ballroom and points toward ballroom’s future as an even more expansive space in terms of gender and identity. It gives global stakes to a hyperlocal scene, and it’s just a tremendous piece of reporting!

– Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

“After Decades of Queer Filmmaking, Patricia Rozema Is Still Full of Ideas” by Marya E. Gates

Published April 5, 2024

Even if you don’t know Patricia Rozema’s name, you probably know her films. Maybe you’ve seen lesbian romance When Night is Falling or Jane Austen adaptation Mansfield Park or Into the Forest starring Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood. Rozema is a fantastic filmmaker and this is a FANTASTIC interview. Even if you don’t know her work (yet) it’s worth a read.

– Drew Burnett Gregory

“The Age of Toxic Queer Women On-Screen Should Tackle Movie Musicals Next” by Lisa Laman

Published April 11, 2024

I love musicals and I love chaotic queer women media. Putting those together? Perfection! This is a really thorough explanation of both the history of musicals and the history of lesbian cinema and why their futures feel so intertwined.

-Drew Burnett Gregory

“The Real Queer Women Bartenders of WeHo” by Gabe Dunn

Published April 11, 2024

This is such a well reported piece about the queer women bartenders in the predominantly gay male spaces of West Hollywood, California. Even if you’ve never been to Los Angeles, it’s a worthwhile piece for anyone interested in the present and future of queer nightlife — or anyone who likes hot queer bartenders.

-Drew Burnett Gregory

“Willow Rosenberg Is Your Autostraddle March Madness 2024 ‘The Kids Are Alright’ Champion!” by Natalie Duggins

Published April 11, 2024

We’ve set up this new section of the monthly Insider to highlight posts that are sometimes undersung but had writing or reporting that was important and we really wanted you to give a second look. And March Madness, an annual beloved AS fan series, would not typically fall within those measurements. But Natalie’s writing this year about the root of this year’s contest theme, the passing of Nex Benedict, and what we gain from representation on television, was a substantial and important piece of media criticism that I hope you all take time to read.

-Carmen Phillips

“‘A Good Happy Girl’ Oozes With Lesbian Kink and Familial Pain” review by Drew Burnett Gregory

Published April 2, 2024

I wanted to plug this special because… the writer is an AF member (and has been an A+ member for a long time). We love to see our author members out there, making kinky, weird queer art that plays with attraction and repulsion and splashes about in gray areas. I haven’t read it yet, but A Good Happy Girl is for sure on my list.

– Nico Killian Hall

XOXO

Team For Them