Howdy, space cowboys!
Welcome to the latest edition of the A+ Bee, part of a healthy, well-balanced breakfast! This issue is jam-packed full of vitamins and minerals to help you grow big and strong, so don’t worry about eating your vegetables today. Also, don’t forget to send us anything you want to see in the Bee, whether it’s art or writing or something super weird — we want it all!
Reach us via:
Tumblr: aplusbee.tumblr.com
Email: chelsey [at] autostraddle [dot] com
Mail: PO Box 10553 / 2140 N. Hollywood Way / Burbank, CA 91505
As always, you can also download the PDF and add it to your collection!
xoxo,
Chelsey & Grace
Hahaha. Taylor Swift.
I love the choose your own adventure! Anything worth doing is worth overanalyzing, so let’s think about what’s happening here. There are a few potential explanations:
A. The girl is your interviewer, and she always has elevator eyes. She totally thought she was giving you the “come hither and give me a copy of your resume for review” eyes.
B. The girl is a plant, put there to see if your professionalism outweighs your desire to meet hot chicks
C. The museum is chock full of cute girls, and focusing on the task at hand will be your daily struggle if you get the job
D. The front line staff regularly propositions visitors instead of directing them to the correct office. You don’t want to work here unless you want to be named defendant in the coming sexual harassment suit.
After careful consideration I think the answer is C, so I choose the option that involves awkwardly stumbling away. I’ll sprint towards the elevator; hopefully there’s an office directory there.
THAT GIF IS TOTALLY WORTH THE EFFORT OF TYPING IN A LINK MANUALLY!
<3
Also I am sorry for the caps. It’s a thing I am doing today. Thanks.
i laughed out loud when i saw that url and thought FUCK IT MUST REALLY BE WORTH IT
Yay, new Dear Sour!! Even though it is probably not Brittani’s ambition to do this, I feel like I would be so down for an epistolary novel written in the form of Dear Sour letters and responses, which would inevitably be hilarious and bittersweet and such the best.
Also, I really want to make a seven-song playlist now, where can I apply for this job? Is it an outreach program of the Museum of QCA, and this Choose Your Own Gay-dventure story is not a hypothetical situation at all but a preview of the many tests of my aptitude and fortitude to come??
You could always write an epistolary fan fic of invented Dear Sour columns.
YOU CAN MAKE A PLAYLIST IF YOU WANT!
Email me at grace at autostraddle dot com if you decide want to!
It took me a good few attempts to actually type the URL out accurately, but I am happy with that life decision.
I’m on Team Flirting.
Team Get Really Embarrassed and Flounder because truth.
Get Really Embarrassed and Flounder because that’s how I flirt.
Is there a third option to the Choose Your Own Gay-dventure where I don’t realize she’s flirting with me and just carry on like nothing happened and ruin any chance of connecting with her? Is that an option?
^ ME
^ ME 2
I would also be terrified of flirting with this person and then having it impact my interview process, either because that’s the interviewer or the interviewer’s girlfriend.
FLIRT WITH HER. What else can go wrong. Lol.
Help. I don’t understand the term ‘elevator eyes’. In the absence of understanding, I shall make puns/pick up lines.
1) Damn girl, you look so good, I’m totally floor-ed
2) You’re cool. Want to meet up?
3) I really don’t know what to do in this situation, but I’m down for anything.
4) Did I just get shafted?* (*As in, did you just do that without me/screw me over)
5) I’ve got a feeling you could raise my spirits.
6) Hey! I heard you’ve got an opening! (Although this could be misconstrued)
Looks at you, up and down. ;)
*slaps forehead* Yep. I knew that.
I think I just proved my own gay-venture outcome.
I love everything about this.
WAIT. ARE ELEVATOR EYES THE SAME AS ‘BEING CRUISED’?
Obviously this is why I need my A+ membership.
Flirt back. It’s always worked for me. Two people get to feel good for a few minutes.
HEATHER I LOVE YOUR HERMIONE HAIKU
#killallmen
I love you all.