Questions from the A+ Inbox were taking up such an enormous portion of the A+ Insider that we started dedicating an entire post to them instead! This A+ feature is now bi-monthly and advice questions go into our twice monthly Into the A+ Advice Box. We think this will be a lot of fun for the whole family. We’ve included as many questions as we can. We love you and your hair looks fantastic today!

**JUST A NOTE UP TOP*** We met our goal! That is thanks to YOU!!! That is because of this community!!! We’re going to post about this on Monday but just consider this a pre-thank you because we are filled with gratitude for all your belief in us and this space and in the work we’re doing to build our collective future. Thank you. Thank you. You did this. We did this. This is the power of queer community.

Happy Friday! I hope you all are doing great today, get yourself a little treat! 🧁

MERCH, BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

I just got an ad for the fundraiser appearing as one of the ads at the bottom of my screen (like instead of a Zenni optical ad) WOAHHH!! 🤩 you’re rocking this advertising and hope you’re zooming towards the fundraising goal!!

Sarah: “like instead of a Zenni optical ad” made me laugh! I keep getting QUIP ads but I already have a quip?! It’s fine, I’m glad that they’re paying for ad space. Nicole and I worked together so we could create opportunities to remind everyone we’re fundraising at EVERY touchpoint! I’m glad you got one and I’m glad you liked it. We had a lot of fun making them. Follow up question — does it look like an ad for a cult? 👀

Nicole I personally feel like it looks like an ad for a role on our queer spaceship. Like, come work for our Inter-Gaylactic Team! Spaceship, in like a Star Trek way, not in like a Bezos way.

I loved reading the September Impact Report! Obviously the new positions are incredibly exciting but I also loved hearing about all the little behind-the-scenes things you got. It’s so cool to know that we’re helping make your lives a little bit easier and more efficient :) Love you Autostraddle!!

Kayla:: Hello! It’s me! One of the new hires! I, too, was excited about the new positions, because that is how I am here! Thank you for the love!!!!!

Laneia: I wish I could accurately convey how thrilled I am about Parse.ly but I would need an airplane and a lot of fireworks, so just know that I am so grateful for everything A+ members have afforded us! Thank YOU.

Sarah: I am thrilled to be passing the torch to a full-time marketing director and I’m really excited it’s possible to finally split my role into two! Btw we’re still looking for someone, y’all! Tell your talented friends.

Nicole: Thank you for loving the impact report and for your trust in us as we work to spend these gay dollars on brilliant humans, both new and already present, and also some helpful tech!

Carmen: Yes, thank you!!! You all really are the ones making the magic work around here. And it means the world to us, it really does.

Hello, just wanted to say thank you for launching the A+ Gift Membership Pool!! This was absolutely my favorite part of the last fundraiser, and I’m so excited to see it again! I was one of those people who read for years before being able to financially support Autostraddle, and I’m so pumped to be able to support someone else’s A+ membership! Much love for all y’all do <3

Nicole: THANK YOU for writing in to say this! I was delighted that we were finally able to do it! Special thanks, again, to the A+ members who thought of it and to Yikes who made it work from a developer standpoint!

Hi AS team! Would you ever consider releasing the SLICK stories in a print collection? They are incredible and I’ve loved each one I’ve read, but I connect so much more to print erotica, where I can keep it by my bed to reread and love, etc. I would totally purchase a collection!

Sarah: Hello, thought twin — I was literally dreaming about this in the shower this week! I would love a special edition SLICK zine with all new stories. I think going back and redo’ing or creating new contracts with all the writers and illustrators could be a logistical nightmare. But it would be really fun to do something totally brand new, or a mix of old and new. Definitely a dreamy idea. I can already think of the paper stock I’d use for the cover…

Nicole: I think there are complications, as said above, with contracts but I would love to keep this in mind as a separate, potential project for the future!!!

@Sarah & @Nicole I just was not logged in and I saw an A+ ad for learning how to become the hot mean femme top of your dreams and I just wanna say I think that’s brilliant marketing. Also I hope it works because I am looking for that hot mean femme top once she like… Figures it out for herself, y’know? Okay, thank you!!

Sarah: This is hot and I support hot things, so just know you are supported in your hot femme top dreams forever by Sarah Sarwar!!!

Nicole: I love that you love this ad and I hope your mean femme top dreams come true soon.

I’m sure the big traffic spike thing was very stressful at the time but it is an absurdly funny story. What happens when ten thousand straight people click on an article? I hope all the straight people generated some revenue!

Riese: Well mostly I found it very delightful and also tbh Chartbeat spikes are like an intense rush of endorphins for me personally, like I feel like WOW WE ARE SUCCEEDING?!?! On a more practical level, it improves our monthly traffic numbers, which are what we use to sell advertising to clients and the measurement metric by which our success is assessed by outside stakeholders. If we’re running network ads at the time, that’s more impressions so more money, but it’s more about keeping our numbers solid for future money since like a 10k spike of people is gonna be like, $20 – $100 and through whom, depending on what’s running. Also if like we are short on content or on trafficky content that day, nobody has to stress about it ‘cause we got that little push.

Hi! Is there any possibility of getting an AS carabiner as merch or an A+ perk?? I recently lost the one I’ve had for years, and it was just a random freebie from some office, so it was generally meh. Would love a black and/or silver AS carabiner option ❤️

Sarah: This is one of the gayest merch requests I’ve ever heard of? The answer is definitely not no, but a strong potential future maybe? Maybe it’ll even be a platinum perk someday, who knows?! Great thinking. This is, again, so gay.

Nicole: I once tried to get a combo camping mug / carabiner (the carabiner was the handle) made as a perk but the rest of the team said no 🤷🤷🤷 Not to say we can’t try for a plain carabiner sometime!!

I just wanted to let you know that I went grocery shopping with my “thanks, have a nice gay” fundraiser tote here in Berlin, and the very sweet older German lady who rang me up told me she liked it, and said “have a nice day. Exactly. That’s perfect!” and asked where I bought it. I was caught off guard so I just told her I got it online but it was legit the most wholesome interaction I’ve ever had with a stranger in Berlin. (okay the most wholesome interaction I’ve ever had with a stranger in Berlin was when I was making a tiny miniature snowman and a toddler came over and asked me about it and added a head for me, and the snowman’s head was blue because the toddler had been painting or something and when they patted the snow together they transferred the pigment from their hands. But the tote groceries story is the most wholesome interaction with an adult)

Sarah: WOW I NEED TO SEE A PICTURE OF THIS SNOWMAN. And hell yes for wholesome Berlin times! This is very cute, I love both of these stories!

Nicole: That is LOVELY and I am so glad.

I’m realizing that half of the fundraiser goal would be $69,000. Did you plan it that way? Hoping you’ll do something fun/witty with that :) Regardless, all the stuff you’ve been doing for the fundraiser is so great! The straight people day articles made me laugh.

Nicole: I am personally offended with myself that I didn’t realize this for a long time. But no! I don’t control the fundraiser goals, they’re just the amount we need for a period of time, so, this was just some weird, gay, luck. It was simply meant to be.

Sarah: 69. Nice.

hi! I know you’ve done some writing on disability and sex and disability and queerness/transness, and I wondered if it would be possible to have disability under the ‘identity’ tab in the navigation? or somewhere else, if that’s more appropriate! I just went to link someone to some of the excellent writing about it on here and it took a bit to find what I was looking for. No worries if that’s a ton of work!

Riese: Yes I did it, it has been done!

I have the autostraddle magnet poetry kit and my housemate got high the other day and made this poem (wish I could send a pic but though y’all would appreciate):
shes a
butt plug
anal is t
for
Autostraddle

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

Have any of you realised/noticed that the Jenny Schecter getting on a lifeboat in L.A. and ending up in Tulum makes NO GEOGRAPHICAL SENSE? Tulum is in the state of Quintana Roo, which is on the Yucatan Pennsula, which is on the EAST coast of Mexico. Los Angeles is on the WEST coast of the US. It’s not even that the story is super ridiculously unlikely — it is actually geographically impossible!!!! Yet another indication of how all-white The L Word’s writing room must have been. It’s mind-boggling

Sarah: ⚰️

Thanks for letting the He-man comments roll for one day! It’s a hot summer over here, so all those fanboi tears were quit refreshing. I’m especially fond of Scott now.

Heather: My friend, you are so welcome. That was a glorious day. I actually really love that show and making piss baby cis men cry was just a bonus.

I hope Stef is ok https://www.instagram.com/p/CSHxF5QBbNW/

Nicole: I asked your question of Stef when this was posted and she said “I’m sincerely not”

WTF? I’m enjoying all the creepiness and queeriness of Plain, Bad Heroines and excitedly anticipating a big reveal and explanation, and then….it just ends. Can AS interview Emily Danforth? And thank her for her awesome writing? And have her explain herself? I want to know all the details! I want to see the movie! I have so many wants!

Kayla: Molly interviewed Emily back in 2017, and I’d be thrilled for AS to chat with her again. In general, I’d love to see more interviews with queer authors in our lit section, so I’d love to know who people want to hear from!

Nicole: Plain Bad Heroines was excellent, and also inspired one of the answers for the fear quiz. I also could have read even more of that book, if there was just more of it.

Today my partner and I had to take our senior dog for behavioral euthanasia, and we are so sad. I hope you guys are well, and if you’ve got pets they are healthy and happy.

Laneia: I am so so sorry for your loss! 💛

Sarah: Bb. I’m so sorry. Two of my friends have had to say goodbye to pets in the last month too. You’re definitely not alone. Sending you lots of hugs and healing energy.

Nicole: I am so sorry. That’s so hard. Sending so much love to you.

Check out this queer card game, Love Letter: Princess Princess Ever After, coming out this October!

Sarah: Wow, I need this.

Hello hi can we talk about the new Snail Mail song/music video Valentine?

Laneia: YES LET’S. At first I was like, “wow what a lush and beautiful music video I am watching” and then all the blood happened! And it was still pretty lush tbh.

Nicole: Lush with blood.

(I tried to submit this on my phone but it didn’t work so trying again!) All consuming need to share: last year Phyllis Nagy, the screenwriter for Carol, came to speak in one of my classes. I was really excited to hear her speak but then she shared that she did **no research** into lesbian subcultures in the 1950s for the film. She didn’t seem to think that research was necessary or important, perhaps because the book was written in the era, but it was a distressing comment!! I hope filmmakers know that LGBTQ history exists and that there are a bunch of books about it as well as archives you can go to do that research so that your creative work has some cultural and historic specificity….

Heather: Well I guess that explains why Carrie Brownstein showed up like a time traveling hottie at the end of the film!

Just an FYI in case y’all don’t know, Drew’s article about poppers is quoted in the book “Deep Sniff” by Adam Zmith which is an excellent queer history of poppers!

Drew: OMG! That’s so cool!

Not gay. But makes an important point about age x vaccination status that I hadn’t seen elsewhere and is good for any of us considering covid risk for ourselves, kids or older relatives :/

Nicole: Thank you for sharing!

[Editor’s Note: Had to link a different video that was available in the US than the link originally sent by the A+ member]

This is a popular german Schlager song by out lebian kerstin ott. Schlager is a bit like german country music, so this is a little bit revolutionary… the lyrics of chorus mean:
Come, let’s paint the world
With the colors of the rainbow
We want them everywhere: rainbow flags
Come! Come, make the world gleam
With the colors of the rainbow
You can see them everywhere!

Nicole: Love this so much!!

You may want to keep an eye on “Doom Patrol”. Cliff’s (Robotman) daughter is married to a woman, Crazy Jane has a scene with another woman (played by Agent Carter’s Wynn Everett) that seems to be leading somewhere, and Rita Farr and Laura De Mille (Michelle Gomez) seem to be hinting at something.

Kayla: All you had to say was MICHELLE GOMEZ, and I’m SOLD tbh. How does she have chemistry with literally everyone on every show she’s on???????? Anyway, I’d love to check the show out!

Heather Hogan baiting fanboys into acting EXACTLY like she says they act is just DELICIOUS. *chef’s kiss*

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION / ARTICLE IDEAS

This is perhaps an extremely niche request, but can you do a Style Thief for Sophie from The L Word: Generation Q?? My partner and I are doing a rewatch of season 1 and I’m obsessed with her short sleeved button ups and pleated cuffed pants. Plus, THOSE EARRINGS!

Nicole Who doesn’t want this honestly?! SOMEBODY HELP.

I need a bet settled for me! My wife insists that the original L Word cast had more people who were actually queer in real life than there are in the new Gen Q reboot. I seem to remember reading something about how they very consciously tried to cast actual queers in the new show. What’s the scoop? Is Sepideh Moafi queer?? That’s what started this whole discussion/debate in our household Lolol thank you for very much for your time!

Riese: I am sorry to your wife because alas she is incorrect! Yes, it’s my understanding that the show made a deliberate effort to cast queer actors and specifically aimed to avoid hiring any white straight actors. (Like if they were hiring a white person that white person had to be LGBTQ) That said; not every actor in the show has publicly declared themselves as queer but you can often kinda read between the lines for a few of them. In terms of Openly Out as Queer actors in the main cast, there are many: jacqueline toboni, leo sheng, jillian mercado, arienne mandi, leisha hailey, kate moennig, stephanie allyne.

The main cast of the original series was … Leisha Hailey. Kate wasn’t out yet, but we could count her for kicks. Karina and Laurel had said they were bisexual but later said actually no they are straight. (karina in fact blamed the cast of TLW for making her not like women anymore!!) Mia has always been ambiguous, but only in relationships with men. Daniela Sea joined the main cast in Season 3.

So the other thing is that the original series had five 12-episode seasons and one 8-episode season, and GW has had one 8-episode season and then one 10-episode season filmed at the height of COVID, thus at a time when they were trying to keep the cast as small as possible.

So eventually some queers with more than 2 episodes piled up on the original series, though none in the main cast: Jane Lynch, Sandra Bernhard, Guinevere Turner, Kristanna Loken, Clementine Ford, Catherine Keener, Alexandra Heddison, Alan Cumming, Anne Ramsay. But similarly, GQ has already had Rosie O’Donnell, Olivia Thirlby and Mercedes Mason.

Depending on who’s gay, between 83%-95% of GQ sex scenes have had at least one queer person in them, that’s 50% for the original series, primarily enabled by Shane having so many sex scenes!

Sarah: Ok, just jumping in here to highlight the shade coming from Karina Lombard where she’s like “Actually, getting kicked off the show made me straight” IS MAKING ME LAUGH SO MUCH RN.

This reminds me! Are Bird/Rapinoe like the most championship-having couple, of any variety, ever? Between olympics and world cups and leagues and ncaa…I am wondering this!

Heather: Oh, they have to be, right? Sue Bird’s list of awards and championships from her Wikipedia page won’t even fit on my full laptop screen! I’m actually having trouble thinking of another couple of any genders with multiple championships between them — and coming up short! However, Allie Quigley and Courtney Vandersloot sure do have ONE EACH NOW!

PLEASE WRITE ABOUT CHAVELA VARGAS

Carmen: WE COULD USE MORE CHAVELA CONTENT YOU ARE RIGHT!! But in the meantime, we did write about the Chavela documentary a few years ago, and that should help with the craving.

I was re-reading this article the other day:

The L Word’s Lisa The Lesbian-Identified Man: A Trans Symposium

and came across this lovely nugget, written by the excellent Grace Lavery: “Like her near-namesake Myles, Ilene Chaiken has chosen to spend time in a universe where all trans people belong to some species of trans man, and all transness is a more or less tortured negotiation with desirable masculinity. If that seems transphobic, it’s because it is. But, on the other hand, it is a very strange kind of transphobia, in that Chaiken has created the unrecognizable character type of the “male lesbian” in order to cover up the hole where trans dykes would be if The L Word looked anything like Angelena lesbianism; everyone who might be a trans woman is in fact a trans man.”

I’d love to hear more about Eileen Myles’ centreing of transmasculinity as a form of transphobia? I don’t doubt that this is a good take, but I don’t know enough about this to fully understand this burn and I want to so bad. Maybe Grace could write an article about this – I’d love to read it.

Carmen: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting!

Article request: some sort of thing where lesbians and bisexuals are just super super supportive of each other? I’m a lesbian and like ALL (exaggeration) my queer friends are bi and I love them so much and never question their queerness and they never think I’m not queer enough either (I know this a thing some lesbians feel they get?!). The roundtable answers to the question about why don’t bi people come out was so good and necessary but also painful. I want something joyful and celebratory of us and our solidarity

To be clear/add on to my earlier note: I think there should be more bisexual content not less! There is so clearly a need for it and I’m really grateful for all you do and for that advice column existing. I just need some positivity too <3

Carmen: I gotta be honest with ya, I think that we think of the entire website as a place where lesbians and bisexuals are super supportive of each other? I definitely relate to the experience you describe here, I have friends across the literal entirety of the Alphabet Mafia and I have never found that we’re adversarial to each other — I know that can sometimes be a prominent message we receive in online discourse and social media (and sometimes even mainstream media), but it’s never been my personal experience. I also think we can definitely keep those supportive vibes going for each other here, in this space. Thank you for the reminder about why it’s important!

Nicole: Agreeing with Carmen that on an internal level, this site is run by lesbians and bisexuals and queers who are all really supportive of each other, and I have to hope that that bleeds out into the content — and I think it does! HOWMEVER with advice questions, we also try to be there for people going through specific things! A thing that’s interesting about advice questions is that they can skew our perceptions and make it look like the majority of our interactions as humans are negative. But the thing is, people don’t write in asking for advice about their supportive queer friends or their happy relationship times (except for when we get asked advice on like, what to do to celebrate an anniversary or something!) because things are good and supportive and healing and don’t need advice! So, yeah, I think there is a “silent majority of mutually supportive gays” kind of situation that is likely occurring here, and I also think, that if you look at the answers and the comments section of just about any Into the A+ Advice Box, you’re gonna see a whole lot of people holding each other and supporting each other — the comment sections are honestly one of my favorite parts of that column and are worth reading and participating in. <3

I want to get another tattoo, but lightning hasn’t struck – can we get a thread going of Sapphic tattoos??

Laneia: I feel like there are at least three members of the editorial team who would be very into a post about this — like maybe a community gallery? Is that what we’re thinking here? Or like, a reported piece?

Nicole: I LOVE TATTOO CONTENT. That is all.

For the TV team:

Have any of you seen Hacks!? Can you write about Hacks!? You should totally write something (or have someone else write something) about Hacks! Because I have a lot of Hacks-related feelings and I need some folks to talk about them with!

Kayla: It is objectively absurd that I have not watched all of Hacks yet, because it is extremely up my alley. I think the creative team (Lucia Aniello, Paul W. Downs, and Jen Statsky) are literal geniuses, and Jean Smart? JEAN SMART. I also am dear friends with perhaps the only two people on the planet who regularly seek out Hacks fanfic (there’s not a lot out there!), and I feel like I am failing them as a friend. This is all to say: I will be inhaling the series ASAP.

Carmen: This is actually very much related to Kayla’s response, but I spent literally May and June looking for even one single team member to write about Hacks for us! Either people hadn’t watched it, or the ones who did watch it didn’t feel like they had anything profound or productive to say for a full length piece. A disappointment, I know. But sometimes it really does just shake out that way.

For what it’s worth, I watched Hacks from start-to-finish right around the time of its Emmys run, and I loved it. Jean Smart is brilliant, one of the best performances of last year. And did you see the standing ovation she got at the actual Emmys? CHILLS.

How do you decide which TV shows get a longer, weekly recap (ie Good Trouble), vs ones that are embedded within the Boobs on Your Tube column (ie Work in Progress)? Though I love both these shows, and would dieeee to read some longer writing each week on the Work in Progress episodes! I know Drew and maybe other folks have written longer WIP pieces at the start of the seasons, but damn I’d love to read more of y’all’s smart thoughts on it week to week.

Heather: That’s a great question and to be honest with you it often just depends on the bandwidth of the person covering the show! Because our TV Team covers basically everything queer, and there’s only seven people on our TV Team, that means we each have dozens of shows on our beat. So we just try to do the best we can with our time, creative energy, and budget. But thank you so much for saying you’d love to read more ’cause I know we’d love to publish more!

Carmen: Yes, to just back up with Heather said, a lot of it is about pure bandwidth. We are always glad to know you want more, because we’d love to be able to give it, but the vast majority of our writers have day jobs away from us and we only have but so many hours in a day to create all the content that we’d love to make for yall!

Every month Heather and I go over the new tv/film releases, based on a list that Riese compiles for us, and we ask ourselves: How do we have at Autostraddle who is the very best writer to cover this? Is the story the kind of piece that works best in a week-to-week breakdown, or a single longer deep dive? How many other tv shows or movies is that writer covering this month, and what’s the best/most efficient and effective use of their time to cover our needs? What shows do we have access to or contacts for press screeners? We also ask writers what they’d like to cover, and what format do they think is best for the commentary they want to make. And if we don’t have people on our team that are appropriate to cover any given piece, then we have to reach out to our broader networks. And it keeps going like that.

But we are doing our best to make sure you get to hear from us on all the most important shows (including Work in Progress, which in its first season we covered with two stand alones, and this season we made sure to cover with weekly mini-caps, so that there was more consistent coverage) while also being mindful of our actual human limits. You understand.

Maybe others have already suggested this, but I’d love to read a piece on queer parents who have experience with fostering or adoption. My partner and I want to open our home to older teens/transition aged youth but I’m just at the stage of gathering information and learning right now. We hope to do this in the next few years, after we are able to move to a home with a little more space. Are there resources/books/podcasts/films that other queer parents have found helpful?

*Also just want to note I saw a comment a few months back from a reader in Australia (I think? Can’t remember exactly) that was really insightful and shared more about the context of the foster care/adoption system and the racism inherent in those systems, and why we need to be more intentional/critical of a desire to “adopt” kids (I’m really condensing/summarizing here- but I just wanted to thank that reader. Their perspective gave me lots to think about, and I know many of the realities they shared about the foster/adoption system in their country hold true here in the US too.)

Carmen: YES! I want this too! We are always looking for more queer parenting (and also, as it relates to your point, the different ways that queer adults become parents) pieces. Thank you for the reminder to keep this at the top of our wish list for the upcoming months. I’ll see what we can make happen!

Hey y’all! Adore the gay emmys, they’re a delight as always! I’m beyond thrilled to see the costume design Emmy as a queer costume designer hoping to one day snag my own (both gay and regular, though the gay one would probably be more of an honor). I’d like to request that when that award is given, the costume designer’s name is listed alongside the show. Costume designers in tv/film are so often uncredited in articles/news directly about the clothing and it’s something I would love to see change certainly everywhere but at least here among the gays where I call home. Happy to see our inclusion here and thanks for all y’all do!

Carmen: An excellent note! Thank you! We’re always looking to improve the Gay Emmys. Anyway, yes, we will keep this in mind for next year!

It’s not a PRESSING question, but I saw the docs recced in Christina’s latest post (love), and I was wondering if anyone else has noticed a big dip in quality – maybe particularly folks in the UK? I’ve got two pairs of the boots I bought in the states at college, and they’re still going strong (one for eight years including as snow boots!). But my brogues I bought to start my UK library role has soles that came straight off after just over a year and won’t even hold with superglue/cobbler help/anything. I’m here to field comments on whether I should pick up a pair if I can ever return to the states or if this is a cross-border curse!

Nicole: My girlfriend has informed me that the company that owned the Docs brand filed for bankruptcy in 2003, were subsequently bought by a different owner and, except for 1% of shoes, ceased making shoes in the UK and moved the manufacturing to China and Thailand. The factory that made docs in the UK, HOWMEVER, still makes boots. My GF and I own none of these and cannot endorse them or give you any insight into quality but we have heard that the quality resembles the pre-bankruptsy Doc Martens. So, there they are! And I sure do want them! I cannot believe I have this info for you wow. Very gay.

Am I imagining that there was, at some point, a guide or roundtable about how to get started with freelance writing? I would really like to start pitching and writing, but every time I see a call for pitches, I get in my head and don’t go for it. Would love to learn from all of you!!!

Kayla: I love to talk to folks about the freelance life! There’s honestly so much stuff to say about it that I couldn’t possibly fit it all here, so I’ll try to directly respond to what you said you’re currently struggling with: If your problem is with follow-through, I recommend adopting an accountability partner approach. One of the tough parts about freelancing is that you feel like you’re operating in a vacuum. It can be really isolating, and it’s easy to get into your own head. The next time you see a call for pitches go up that you’d like to respond to, tell a friend you’re going to pitch something. Sometimes something as simple as that can make it easier to actually follow through. Depending on your needs/preferences, you could even ask that friend to follow up with you in X days to ask if you pitched. And maybe after the first few times of doing this, you’ll be able to phase it out. It’s very important to keep in mind that a rejection often does not have to do with the quality of your pitch/your writing. There are so many factors editors consider when fielding pitches. It’s also possible you won’t hear back at all. This does not mean you’ve failed! The best way to get pitches accepted is to JUST KEEP PITCHING all the time, constantly. And just because something is not a good fit one place does not mean there’s no home for it at all. Also, if there are editors/publications you like, I recommend searching for pitch calls on twitter by searching @editorsusername + “pitch” or “pitch me” or “accepting pitches” etc. It’s an easy way to find calls/info about where to send things. Hope this helps!

If one wanted to become a Carly Rae Jepsen fan, where would one start? Plz & thank you!! I think I have slept on this, and need to catch up.

Kayla: I personally don’t think there’s any one right way to delve into her music, so I say just pull up her discography and start listening! Everyone I know has a different favorite that they listen to on repeat (I’m a “Cut To The Feeling” Gay). Her music is very good to dance to also, so if you’ve been looking for an excuse to throw a little dance party, maybe make it CRJ-themed. There are also a lot of great personal essays and reviews (and hybrid review-essays) of CRJ’s music out there by queer and trans folks, so if you wanna deepen your connection, I’d start there. Abeni wrote about the song “Your Type.”

Laneia: A monthly column, Where to Start, about diving into popular musicians or writers or any art at all that is relevant to our interests and I read every single one of them and this steers the majority of my artistic consumption over the next year+. That is my dream okay.

Sarah: Boy problems. Who’s got em? IT’S A JAM. All of Emotion (the album) is so so so good. Agree w/ Kayla about throwing a dance party. It can also be a party for one (hahahha) in your kitchen while you make an elaborate curry, or if you’re like me, invite your crush over to make the curry with you and stew in the longing of CRJ.

Hey ciao! I was just wondering, could y’all maybe do a roundtable and show their favorite Autostraddle article? Doesn’t have to be their own :)

Carmen: You know what? The last week of the year is something that we tentatively always joke about calling “Greatest Hits Week” where we program rerun articles to help fill the calendar, so we can rest but also so yall can catch up on what you maybe missed! I think a roundtable like this would be perfect in that kind of space. Thanks for sharing!

I know Laneia is busy and has her own reasons for writing less but I miss reading the things she writes!! #bringbackTheseShirts

Laneia: WOW wow okay OKAY I WILL CONSIDER THIS a version of this IT IS UNDER CONSIDERATION. ALSO THANK YOU THIS IS A VERY NICE THING TO SAY.

Bring back Notes from a Queer Engineer you cowards!!!!

This is not Laneia…. :EYES: :heart:

Laneia:

wow, Jiz Lee and T Kira Māhealani Madden both on the AS page on the same day! What exciting times we live in!!!!

REALLY NICE THINGS YOU TOLD US

I’m just here to agree with the A+ member who was basically saying that Laneia is a brilliant writer who can say more in two sentences than some writers take a whole novel to get to. So insightful, so incisive. Thank you, Laneia, for sharing your words with us.

Kayla: I’m just chiming in here to say YES @ the two sentences thing. Laneia’s economy of language is unparalleled.

Laneia: WHOA WHOA WHOA hey now whoaaaa this is a very nice thing to say and it means a lot to me!!!! Thank you!

Riese! Congrats on winning your kickball championship! My kickball team won ours too!! KICKBALL CHAMPS!

Riese: OMG thank you so much it is thrilling to be a winner in the presence of other winners!!!!

This isn’t an advice question, but it’s related to the STRAIGHT PEOPLE PROBLEMS upcoming A+ advice inbox: I just wanted to say I hella related to your feelings about Pride this year!! (I think Carmen or Laneia wrote about it in an A+ Insider newsletter or somewhere?) Pride month felt extra exhausting in 2021, and like it was all about education opportunities for straights?? This was the first year I was part of the Pride employee group at my job and while I loved meeting more queers at my workplace, overall ended the month feeling so exhausted and spent from a lot of explaining/hand holding w/ straight coworkers and family all month. Anyways, just wanted to affirm your feels and wondering if other ppl felt that, and why did we all feel that??

Laneia: Whew yes, thank you for affirming. And also we all deserve a gift card to Olive Garden or something.

Kayla: Just chiming in to second the Olive Garden gift card. Fun fact: I once DM’d Olive Garden to ask if I could PURCHASE the WINE GLASSES they use at the restaurant for my gf for our anniversary and the social media manager got back to me and was like actually we will just send you a whole package of gifts for your anniversary and it included a gift card. So basically, Olive Garden said gay rights. And should give everyone at AS gift cards. (Also yes, Pride is exhausting)

Carmen: I actually don’t love Olive Garden (shhhh don’t tell anyone) so I would appreciate it if my gift card could be made out to TGIF Fridays.

But seriously, yes! I have heard so many horror stories like that this year about Pride. I have no idea what made the straights lose it, but lose it they certainly did.

I signed up for A+ again thanks to your very sweetly imploring email trying to win me back. Lemme just say, I never left you! I mean I did but, it’s because I relocated from Sydney to London in the middle of a pandemic with no job (haha.. hahaHA) and needed every dollar.

I have a job now, so will send some of my dollars your way.

Thanks for everything over the past ten years. X

Laneia: I hope you love your new home in London!!! Thank YOU!

Sarah: Wow inspired by your verve and adventurousness. Glad you’re all settled in and thank you for supporting us again!

Kayla: Wow congrats on the big move! Wishing you well, and thanks for the support! <3

Nicole: Welcome back we love you!! It’s totally okay and I am glad YOU are okay! Congrats on the new job <3

Carmen: WELCOME BAAAAAAAACK! So happy to have you with us!

RIESE HOW WAS YOUR [redacted big bday]

Riese: It was really nice!!!! I had some friends over to play my favorite game scattergories, i had a WONDERFUL date with my girlfriend the next day and one of my presents was tickets to the movie museum and then we went to the movie museum the next weekend!!!!!! Low-key but nice, two thumbs up.

I can’t explain it but Gigi’s delivery on the line “Do you want to hurt me? What you’re doing is hurtful.” is so hot and mean and I fucking love it!

Riese your recaps are the thread that keeps me watching this shitshow every week. Thank you for doing this thankless task that I’m sure must feel like a curse at this point! 🙃

Riese: YOU’RE SO WELCOME it makes me happy to make other people happy (is that codependent IDK at this point)

Kayla: I know this is true for so many people, but Gigi has absolutely ruined my life this season.

Sarah: Gigi forever.

Hi Autostraddle over a dozen of us from the northeast spinoff server rented a small movie theater tonight and watched Addams Family Values and I just wanted to thank you for the pop up servers since they’ve led to so much community and new friends in my life!

Laneia: UGH THIS IS SO PURE I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHHH

Carmen: THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALL CAPS IN THE WORLD TO DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME OMG OMG ADFALDFKAJFLAFAALJ!!!!!

Nicole: Hearing about the legendary adventures of the Northeast Spinoff server is truly wonderful, like surprise donuts on a random weekday.

The senior editors hang in the Discord was DELIGHTFUL and I would be super excited if that were to happen again!

Riese: I HAD SO MUCH FUN TOO!!!

Laneia: Me too! I will definitely be there for the next one !!

Sarah: Amazing night. So many good laughs. Y’all are hilarious and fun!

Nicole: You all MAKE the Discord server what it is. THANK YOU for the good times!

Carmen: Definitely one of my favorite parts of the last month, for sure!

Including a fundraising ask in the results of the “Greatest Fear” quiz is fucking brilliant!

Nicole: Why thank you that was one of my most especially caffeinated / exhausted moments! And people did give and it was wonderful!!! I’m working on another this-time-non-fundraising quiz just for kicks. I really like making them even if the process is extremely tedious! AND ALSO JUST THANK YOU AGAIN for all the fundraising asks you all work through as we fundraise! We couldn’t do it without you, and your support, and your patience and love!

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