The ups and downs of our dating lives end up impacting all the other important relationships in our lives, and vice versa; this includes our pets. As a people, we’re famously attached both to our dyke drama and to our pets; who among us hasn’t had to apologize for our dog chewing our new girlfriend’s dildo, or had to interrupt a date because your ex called to say she was taking your shared-custody rabbit to the emergency vet? We, too, have shared these experiences; [law and order sound] these are our stories.