Letter From Your Editors
Hello Autostraddle Insiders!
It’s officially been a year since launching A+ and we feel pretty damn good about it, especially after the week we just spent in Big Bear talking about how to make sure Autostraddle Plus is living its best life.
I’m typing this on a mattress — the only soft place to exist in our apartment, now that we’ve sold or given away all the furniture and put everything else in boxes. It’s July, after all, which seems to be a popular time to change your entire life. It’s a time when we plot a lot of changes around here, too — most of which will go into effect when I return to the grid as I’m about to spend about 12 days on the road!
In between taco night, me totally demolishing everybody at Scattergories and Alex trying to defend her decision to live in a Tiny House, a lot of work got done in Big Bear. We set up and sent out contracts to all of our Subject Editors, talked extensively about the A+ Survey Results (we’ll be talking more about those soon), mapped out the editorial calendar through October, planned out new columns and series, spent half a day outlining ideas to make the podcast better, developed new A+ features and ideas, and cleaned out old WordPress drafts once and for all. (Not omg shoes, though. We’re never deleting omg shoes.) Some of what we dug up in wordpress drafts has already been presented to your face, such as Grace’s Top 5 Musical Theater Songs About Misandry and Lizz’s These Black Nail Polishes. Honestly one of the most exciting parts of Big Bear was that we were all together to witness The Return of Autostraddle Comments. Your support and enthusiasm renewed our commitment to this work and made everybody about fifty thousand times happier to do their jobs.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this months A+ content: A+ Podcast Episode Four: The Baby Queer Years, The A+ Bee Issue 22: The QTPOC Speakeasy Takeover, Dannielle Owens-Reid’s Interview With My Ex-Girlfriend: Pate, Chelsey’s Interview With My Ex-Girlfriend: Brittny, Laneia’s panic attack chronicle Screaming/Not Screaming and The A+ Bee Issue Twenty Three: Free to Bee You and Me. We’re confident that in a few months we’ll be regularly shocking your socks off with how great A+ is gonna be.
We’ve launched a few new regulars this month, also:
- Crystal is chronicling her attempts to prevent death through health in Working on It
- Carolyn’s going to California and she’s gonna get married in Love and Canada
- Audrey’s exploring a mid-range gender presentation in Journey to the Center
- Beth is talking to queer entrepreneurs about making their business dreams come true in Follow Your Arrow
- Robin is indeed playing games with your heart in Gayme Corner
- Melanie is introducing you to queer literature you’ve never heard of but would love if you could find it in Hidden Gems Of Queer Lit
- We’re all taking turns taking care of our shit in This Is How We Do It
A big thank you to everybody who renewed their A+ memberships this year and a big welcome to everybody just joining us. Welcome to the family. It’s gonna be a pretty wild ride.
Love,
Riese
[co-signed by Laneia / Yvonne / Rachel / Heather]
P.S. FYI, “Some Answers to Some Questions You’ve Been Asking Us” is now going to be its own feature independent of The Insider! You can look forward to that the first week of August.
Top 10 Most Popular Posts From June 2015
These posts were hella popular last month.
1. What We’re Going to Say About Caitlyn Jenner, by Mey Rude
2. Cara Delevingne Declares Her Love For Girlfriend St. Vincent, Has Her Sexuality Mansplained Away, by Stef Schwartz
3. “Out in The Night,” the story of Four Black Lesbians Convicted for Self-Defense, Premieres on PBS and Logo Tonight, by Maddie Taterka
4. Girl Scouts Turn Down $100,000 To Stand With Trans Girls, Make Us Cry, by Audrey White
5. 30 Things That Made Us Cry On Marriage Equality Day, Take a Kleenex, by Heather Hogan
6. WELL THEN: Cool Mom and Wolves Who Raised Kristen Stewart Approve Of Her Girlfriend Alicia Cargile, by Stef Schwartz
7. Ingrid Nilsen is Gay: YouTube Star Comes Out in Tearjerking YouTube Video, by Riese Bernard
8. “Fun Home” Made History Last Night and This Is Entirely About That, by Ali Osworth
9. Look at That Alternative Lifestyle Haircut: Women’s World Cup 2015 Edition, by Robin Yang
10. 16 Ways To Make Queer Women’s Spaces More Trans-Friendly, by Mey Rude, Kaelyn Rich and Morgan McCormick
Eight Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations
Carmen: CEE YOU FIXED THE BUG!
YOU’RE THE BEST!
Cee: Bam!
Carmen: Cee, you’re such a fucking genius
Cee: It was a typo on the plugin
Carmen: Potential taglines for Cee’s memoir:
“The story of the person with all the answers, about absolutely everything”
Cee: “Fixer of typos”
Carmen: “Tales of solving problems in five seconds”
“There was nothing Cee couldn’t do”
Cee: “Fast Fixer Of Typos”
Carmen: That’s my advanced review of the memoir
Cee: I’m glad it was an easy one
Carmen: “I’ll never forget the typos Cee fixed in mere seconds. She’s a lifesaver at best and a superhuman at worst. read this book. live life trying to be Cee. I recommend it to us all.”
Cee: Amazon review?
Would buy again?
Carmen: Highly recommended yes I would five star it
Kaelyn: Just wanted to let you all know that the sidebar ad on AS for me right now is a KY video advertisement that features kittens and futuristic lasers and I’m feeling really great about it.
Stef: Mine is still for coldsculpting :disappointed:
Kaelyn: You should just bite the bullet, Stef
and write about it: “I Tried Coldsculpting So You Don’t Have To”
Stef: From what I understand it’s like, “we freeze your fat away”? But then wouldn’t that happen like, in winter?
Kaelyn: Is it like when they freeze a wart off?
Stef: But in winter I just sit inside and eat spaghetti alone in the dark, so.
Kaelyn: But it’s your actual body?
Stef: MAYBE YOU SHOULD GOOGLE IT. It looks horrifying
Kaelyn: NOT TODAY SATAN.
I don’t want your coldsculpting ads thanks.
Stef: I’m just gonna sit in the walk-in freezer and hope that works.
Also this reminds me too much of when Alice Pieszecki had to write about vaginal rejuvenation.
You know what’s gonna happen, I’m gonna get to the coldsculpting office and fucking Gabby Deveaux will be working there
That’s the last thing I need.
Chelsey: Hi Team Social! I don’t know that this is a huge deal but Brittny’s name is spelled wrong in the tweet for my ex interview
Carmen: Oh ughhhhhhh
My b
I’ll fix it
Chelsey: No problem! She spells it so weird. Thank you, Carmen!
Laneia: Yeah you should tell her she spells her name wrong Chelsey
Chelsey: I’ll let her parents know that we all agree that they made a terrible mistake. She pretty much just goes by Brit because of this.
Stef: I feel that. having your name horribly misspelled by your parents haunts a kid for their whole life.
Laneia: What if I start an instagram that’s just pictures of the microwave with four seconds left on it from when Megan used it last and didn’t clear the time so that when I look up to see what time it is, it’s :04 o’clock
Riese: Into it
Rachel: I’d follow it
Heather: I’d be my second favorite after Rachel’s cousin’s Buttermilk
Stacy gets annoyed about Buttermilk because Buttermilk looks like our cat but Stacy thinks I think Buttermilk is cuter
It’s a constant battle
Rachel: That’s complex, yeah. Maybe Quasar needs to start an instagram to compete
Although my cousin seems to have a lot of commitment when it comes to networking with other cat instagrams and participating in contests and stuff, so I don’t know if you and Stacy are really ready for that level, no offense
Heather: None taken. I’m really into when Buttermilk goes outside. I’m always like, “Oh! Buttermilk is having a big day out!”
Laneia: I asked Riese if she thought I would ever have sex again if I started wearing kaftans from World Market and she said no
Carmen: HAHAHAHAHAH
Laneia: So I still haven’t bought a kaftan from World Market but I know that I will one day, it’ll happen
Carmen: Laneia I think you deserve to wear kaftans
Stef: When you’re ready you’ll know
Carmen: You should have put them in the prenup
Laneia: I mean I’d wear cute earrings with it, I’d spruce it up
Carmen: I wear a fuzzy bathrobe that is white with black polka dots and I do just fine
Laneia: Just saw an email from ban.do with #GIRLSPOPUP (as in, a pop-up party for girls) in the subj line and now I want to throw a party called #GIRLSOUP bc that’s what it looked like at first. Idk think about it, get back to me with ideas. #GIRLSOUP
Stef: A buddy just asked me if Autostraddle could not put spoilers in titles, I guess she’s pretty far back on Orphan Black
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Laneia: Ha that is a pretty spoilery title! I think once the season is over, all spoiler bets are off? What’s the rule there. Idk I still haven’t read any spoilers about GoT in headlines and I’ve been waiting for it
Stef: I’ve never even seen Orphan Black
but judging by how today is going
I guess we should all just call it a day and go back to bed
Carmen: HAHAHAHAHA
Stef: What if we just made up really insane headlines
FINALLY ANG AND LEANNE CONSUMMATE THEIR LOVE IN A PILE OF LAUNDRY
Carmen: I think actually people should just spoil everything
like my preference would be that the next day every article’s title details everything that happened in the episode
Stef: BUT BITCH WHAT IF I’M BUSY AND I STILL WANT TO READ THE INTERNET
Carmen: Or better, that recap writers consult w show writers and titles are like
OITNB SEASON 12: PIPER’S GONNA MARRY SOMEONE IN PRISON YOU GUYS ALSO XYZ ARE GOING TO MAX
Let’s recap shows before they even happen.
I’ve had people yell at me on twitter for us having like, spoilers in our recaps……..
Riese: On twitter? You know the least they could do is comment.
Stef: We don’t want her you can have her: Diane Keaton thought Lena Dunham was a lesbian.
“It was the best thing,” said the “Girls” creator.
Carmen: HAHAHAH
Maddie: That is my favorite headline
We could have a whole series of things we thought that were just straight up wrong
Stef: I need more examples
Mey: I thought Maddie was a trans woman when she first started writing for us bc she was good at writing about trans stuff. Is that close enough?
Maddie: I thought Jenny Owen Youngs and Julia Nunes were the same person until like February. But now I know them as distinct and wonderful humans whose work I enjoy immensely and individually
Then there’s also “Mike Huckabee thought being gay was like swearing”
Stef: I mean it is
Rachel: When I was little I thought “don’t drink and drive” was literal, and would get really upset and anxious if my mom drank like a coke in the car
Mey: Also I thought that butch Latina marine in aliens was played by a Latina but she’s really Italian and my heart is broken
Carmen: I called Kacey Musgraves “really fucking gay” in that Sunday Funday a while back sooooooooooooo
Stef: She is not
Carmen: ‘Tis true
She is not
Stef: She does have enviable powers of hair levitation though
But I think that comes from being from Texas
Meet A New Contributor!
Get to know one of our newest faces.
Melanie Bell, “Hidden Gems of Queer Lit” Columnist
Personal Website: melaniebellwrites.com
Personal Twitter: @melaniebellsays
Business Website: BerghoefBell.com
Business Twitter: @berghoefbell
What’s your favorite book of all time?
It’s impossible to choose just one, but Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being is an old favorite that still has a big influence on me.
Describe your perfect weekend.
It would combine discovering a new place, enjoying the outdoors, writing, and savoring good food.
Who was your first woman celebrity crush?
Vanessa Carlton
What fictional character reminds you most of yourself?
Laura Wingfield, from Tennessee Williams’ play The Glass Menagerie
What’s your favorite thing on the internet today?
Helen Hajnoczky’s blog post, “On Poetry: Publish However Much You Want.” There’s value in letting your voice be heard, even when it’s imperfect.
Something Wicked This Way Comes
We’re brewing something brand new and y’all are gonna looooove it.
What We’ve Been Reading
Carmen: The Entire Southern Sisters Mystery Series by Anne George
“Embarrassed to tell everyone but also not embarrassed at all because #livingmytruths that I am rereading the entire Southern Sisters Mystery Series this summer because when I was in middle school I read a bunch of books about sixty-year-old women in Alabama solving murder mysteries like, who knew, and I went home and decided to reread them AND HERE I AM.”
Yvonne: Jam on the Vine by LaShonda Katrice Barnett
Mari: Sparrow Hill Road by Seanan McGuire
Stef: Reading Celebrity Gossip Magazines by Andrea McDonnell
Mey: Drama by Raina Telgemeier and the webcomic Witchy by Ariel Ries
Maddie: Are You My Mother by Alison Bechdel (again) and The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde
Laura: The Diamond Age: Or, A Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer by Neal Stephenson and Santa Olivia by Jacqueline Carey
Aja: Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples and Going Clear by Lawrence Wright
Hannah Clay-Wareham: The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan
Raquel: Super Sad True Love Story Gary Shteyngart and Ficciones by Borges
Christina McP: Liar, Temptress, Soldier, Spy: Four Women Undercover in the Civil War by Karen Abbott
Anna: A Safe Girl To Love by Casey Plett, Vampires In The Lemon Grove by Karen Russell and The Ghost Network by Catie Disabato
Riese: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling and Unspeakable: The Rise of the Gay and Lesbian Press in America by Rodger Streitmatter
Robin: The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison and Texts from Jane Eyre by Mallory Ortberg
Alley: The Stone Gods by Jeanette Winterson
Hannah Hodson Dinner With Friends by Donald Margulies
Audrey: On Beauty by Zadie Smith and El Pais Bajo Mi Piel by Giaconda Belli
Heather: Shadow Scale (Book Two in he Seraphina series) by Rachel Hartman.
“It has one of the most unique manipulations of the dragon mythos in any fantasy series I’ve ever read! Dragons can be humans and humans can be half-dragons and there’s all these crazy human/dragon politics! Also, the wordsmithery is two emoji thumbs up.”
Fikri: The Ruling Elite of Singapore: Networks of Power and Influence by Michael D. Barr
Ali: Are You My Mother? By Alison Bechdel and A Room Of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
Nikki: Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit
Beth: She is Sitting in the Night by Oliver Pickle
Carolyn: The Folded Clock by Heidi Julavits
KaeLyn: MaddAddam by Margaret Atwood
Lydia: Schiaparelli & Prada: Impossible Conversations by Andrew Bolton
Laneia: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
MINI-INTERVIEW WITH A SENIOR STAFF MEMBER: ALEX
What do you do in your job at Autostraddle?
You would think that by now, six years in, I would have a succinct and descriptive answer ready to go! But alas. Um, it’s a mixed bag of designing things and advertising things for the most part. I think all the stuff I do, especially in the last couple years, relates to our income/monetization in some way, like: designing merch items for the store, spearheading the A+ subscription model project last year, communicating with current and potential advertisers, designing RFPs for potential advertising campaigns, getting sponsors for A-Camp, designing all the A-Camp things, etc.
What is your favorite part of this position?
Since it’s so fucking hard to make money on the internet, it’s gratifying to me when I can do something to help keep us afloat, even just a little bit. Because every little bit helps. Especially now that we have five full-time paid staff! I mean, that’s crazy.
What is something you dream to bring to Autostraddle?
More money from companies that we like, who also have money to spend, like some sort of Autostraddle Robin Hood. Fun fact: I was Robin Hood for Halloween in the 2nd grade.
What’s the hardest part of your position?
I hate being on my computer! And I like being around people, so working for myself out of my home can be a bit isolating.
Favorite online writer/editor / or like your hero?
Current heroes and sheroes include Foster Huntington, Tina Roth Eisenberg, Allison Patel.
What do you wish people understood about your job?
I think it’s something I also wish I understood better about my job — the people, the community — how big and awesome they are. I get to see a piece of it at A-Camp, which is so great. But I wish I knew the full scope of the site and the people who read us and how it fits into their lives, you know? Every. Single. Person.
Favorite snack to eat while working?
I try not to eat while working! Like, I’ll take a break and eat some stuff because breaks are good and help me keep a level head. Also, Riese hasn’t invented her “eating glove” yet so I couldn’t risk getting potato chips all over my keyboard you guys. Seriously. Tell her to get on it.
What would be the song that a montage of you doing your job would be set to?
Oh oh what’s that song that’s like “I don’t want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day.” That one.
SLACKERS
As you may know, Slack is the virtual office we use and we absolutely love it! We’ve shared some of our custom Slack emojis before, but here’s an up close look at a small selection of our fave emojis and how we use them.
A POEM ABOUT STACY’S NEW ROOMBA, BY HEATHER
O whirring Roomba, thou breath of my girlfriend’s kindness
Thou, from whose spinning presence scoops the cat fur
Are driven, like Rosy the Robot from an ’80s cartoon,
Black, and silver, with glowing green and blue lights
Dander-stricken cargo bay: O thou,
Who chariotest dust and lint to the rubbish bin
The docking station, where you return triumphant
Charging you like a light saber of yore, until
At 9:00 a.m., you spring to life to clean to live
July Retro-Reading
Some posts from previous Julys Riese thinks you might enjoy.
Evangelicals, Rapists, Tramps & Thieves: Why Anti-Gay Leaders Love to Sin, Are the Sinners, by Riese and Alex, 2009 – I remember taking a few weeks to write this on Alex’s couch — we just started noticing that all the people being mean to us seemed to turn out to be assholes themselves, which is now pretty much common knowledge (and was, to a certain degree, back then as well.)
8 Honest Things About New York, by Laneia, 2010 – Remember that time Laneia stayed in my apartment for a very solid chunk of summer and then wrote this about it? If you don’t, you should read this. If you do, you should probably also read this.
Evil Disney Queens Are Doing It For Themselves, by Kate, 2012 – I think this was Kate’s second article for Autostraddle and it was damn good. I didn’t realize that so many queers empathized with villains rather than heroes/heroines but thinking about it changed my perspective on everything forever and always.
Top Ten Ways To Survive the Summer Without Air Conditioning, by Rachel, 2014 – This is how we help you help yourself.
DENTAL DAMNATION
Hannah: Okay, don’t judge me, because this might be the worst idea ever, or I might be a genius (probably the former): boyshort undies that are made out of latex
like a dental dam
but you put them on
and they’re like sexy latex undies, but also protection
should I patent this idea.
Will I be rich?
Stef: I just wrap my lower body in saran wrap like a mummy usually
Would those be comfortable or would it be like wearing leather pants all the time
Hannah: hahaha wait stef are you serious because that’s awesome
Stef: No
Hannah: Haha I’m just like imagining all kinds of kitchen related activities
like rolling pins and shit
Stef: Would you need to cover your genitals in flour before you put these on or
Hannah: hehehehehe, I don’t know! I have this strange feeling it’s a good idea
which probs means that somebody has already come up with it
Stef: Maybe it could just be the crotch part
Like a sunroof. But the opposite of that
Hannah: Also I bet marketing new kinds of protection is really difficult, and the legal stuff must be a nightmare
Riese: Like crotchless panties?
Except with a latex strip where normally there would be nothing
Hannah: Yeah!
I was kind of imagining the whole this would be latex though?
and disposable
Stef: Imagine pulling a latex glove up your legs though
It sounds uncomfortable
Kaelyn: I’m into it, actually
but I think i want them to tie on the sides
more like a thong/bikini kind of
like edible underwear
actually exactly like edible underwear but out of latex or polyeurathane
polyeurathane actually sounds more pleasant than latex…
Maddie: Yeah I don’t want to pull latex up my legs, but make them tie-on and I think it’s genius
Because it probs would NOT be a good idea to wear them any longer than the actual sex is happening
Audrey: Or it could be crotchless panties that have a latex strip that is like, replaceable.
Like that attaches some how and you just get a box of the strips
Maddie: But how would it attach? Velcro? Buttons? Maybe this is more obvious but for me this is a very difficult design element to wrap my head around
Audrey: Ah yeah, it could have sticky edges like a panty liner?
Kaelyn: I’m getting way too into this now…
but I like the replaceable liner for sustainability reasons
I like the disposable idea for ease of use and distribution to developing countries
Maddie: And/or college dorm bins/a-camp bunks
Kaelyn: Yeah, like where do I invest, Hannah?
Hannah: I’m so glad you’re into this
Like its been creeping in the back of my mind
Every time I think about how awkward dental dams are
Notable Recent Press and Media
+ This month, Riese appeared on a video for The Advocate shot at San Francisco Pride to celebrate marriage equality. In this video she proved her psychic powers by correctly predicting an event that was to occur last month.
+ On The Knot, queer couple Aneidys and Riley recall how Autostraddle’s You Need Help: Requisite Crush on a Barista story was the catalyst that brought them together.
+ The fine humans of Metafilter really liked our article about commenting on websites.
+ Riese was quoted in a Mashable article about “LGBTQ Pet Peeves.” Unfortunately, she had no idea that most of the other participants would be talking about intracommunity pet peeves instead of pet peeves with how the outside world sees us, and so she feels like she kind of seems like a bitch.
+ Your Queer Mama Haley Jude has an article on Good Housekeeping about What No One Ever Tells You About Losing Your Baby.
+ You can see our very own Brittani Nichols for about three seconds in the new Netflix documentary TIG.
Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month
Show Up, White America: The Opposite of Support is Silence by Aja
I would like to have this piece published on billboards on every highway in the US and ideally some highways outside the US, but in lieu of that being possible, I would ask that you read it with care and thoughtfulness and grace, and to share it with others.
The Story of No by Brittani
I’m sorry but you owe me 25 pushups for every minute that goes by without you reading this if you haven’t already. I’m counting starting right….. now.
Orange is the New Black Episode 306 Recap: All That Is Gold Does Not Glitter, by Heather and others
I don’t think I’ve ever put a recap in this section before! But I am doing so this time because this is NOT YOUR ORDINARY RECAP, and I am afraid that if you are the type of person who does not read our recaps (which, also, what?? why?) you would have just carried on about your day, not knowing what you were missing. Here’s what you were missing:
This recap is going to be a departure from our usual format, because I am a cis white lesbian and it’d be fully Piper Chapman of me to to center the commentary around my own very limited perspective. So, I’m going to give you a traditional recap of the episode, and then I’ll be joined by Laura Mandanas, KaeLyn, Fikri and Yao Xiao to talk about how their personal experiences line up with the ones we saw on our teevees.
This roundtable is really great! You should read it! Please and thank you!
Beyond Streaming: 7 Ways You Can Actually Support Independent Musicians by Stef
How musical artists support themselves is one of those things I have just never really understood, like theremins or how to do my own taxes. Somehow, I thought, I listen to “Style” on repeat in iTunes and then suddenly Taylor Swift can afford a hamburger! Or something. I am very grateful for Stef’s explanation of how individual listeners who like the music of their favorite indie artists (who can usually afford far fewer hamburgers than Taylor Swift) can help make sure they can eat.
Queer Histories Matter: How Ancient History Played a Starring Role in the Marriage Equality Case by Emily K
Y’all I was just so pumped to receive this pitch I can’t even tell you. It’s thoroughly researched, it’s academic yet applicable to our daily lives, it’s historically grounded but timely, it’s something I could never have written myself because it’s based in specific expertise. Ugh it’s so great! If you, too, are the kind of nerd who was thinking to themselves “Alito was referencing Plato and ancient Greek boyfriends in the Supreme Court hearings? What even?”, you will enjoy this immensely!
Mey’s Pick of the Month
First of all, it’s too bad that I didn’t do this back in May, because then it would’ve been Mey’s Pick of the Month for May, which gives us a nice calendar pun. Second of all, I just want to point out that in writing this, I’ve had to use two my most often misspelled words — recommendation and calendar — and both of them I’ve misspelled twice.
So anyway, my Pick of the Month is: Dinosaur Bones. In theory, dinosaurs are one of the coolest things in the history of the world. Just thinking about how there were pretty much real-life giant dragons that lived everywhere on earth for tens of millions of years blows my mind. Like, some of these things were as big as houses! And others were the weirdest, scariest birds that ever existed! A T. Rex’s tooth was as big as my forearm! Brachiosaurus weighed as much as 17 African Elephants! Parasaurolophus made awesome sounds with that giant thing on their head! Lots of dinosaurs had feathers! In reality, dinosaurs (or what we have left of them, and I’m not talking about birds even though talking about birds as dinosaurs is one of my five favorite things in the world to talk about) are way, way, WAY cooler.
About a month ago I went to the Los Angeles Natural History Museum to look at their dinosaur exhibit. Honestly, it was one of the best days of my life. I saw the first skeletons as soon as I walked in — this straight up gorgeous display of a T. Rex fighting a Triceratops — and I almost started crying right there. The rest of the museum was filled with even more stunning bones. There was a family of T. Rexes, a velociraptor, various sauropods including one that filled an entire room, hadrosaurs, flying reptiles and dozens of others. I was in absolute heaven.
There are very few things I would recommend doing more than going to a museum to look at dinosaur bones. It will change the way you see the whole world. It’ll make you feel like a kid again. It’s just the best. Of course, if there isn’t a good museum in your city, you can always just watch Jurassic Park, that’s pretty great too.
Social Media Spotlight
Y’all, we love the pets in our lives so much. (Except for Riese.) Here are some of the best photos of our beloveds from Instagram this month.
https://instagram.com/p/5SXRQKOn93/
https://instagram.com/p/42rANhsOx6/
https://instagram.com/p/43LUMGmThL/
https://instagram.com/p/4vbW10BFfN/
https://instagram.com/p/32KdDnA_sB/
https://instagram.com/p/5AIFWcgyBx/
An Infographic About You
We did a survey of all the A+ members and now we know SO much about you, isn’t that fun??!!
How To Look Like A Cannibal At A Bar
Carmen: Do we have an article on how to look cool when you’re alone at a bar bc Gabby’s late for happy hour because her cootie hurts from biking and so are all of her friends for probably less valid reasons asking for a friend
Stef: Omg that’s such a good idea
I’m alone at bars a lot :confused:
Laneia: I would really love this
who will write this
Stef: One time Lizz taught me how to look rich at a bar but i think that’s different
Lizz: Lol different
Laneia: Wait, share
This could be a miniseries, How to Look ______ at a Bar
Stef: Omg yes
Laneia: Cool, When You’re Alone, Rich, Like a Cannibal
Stef: I can write how to look hostile at a bar
cause I don’t ever want anyone to talk to me
like, ever
Laneia: Ok good perf
That’s what I meant by ‘cannibal’
Hostile sounds better
Riese: I find Resting Bitch Face really useful in these contexts
also just radiating malice
in general
Stef: I got in a really awkward argument with a man on the train the other day because he tried to start a friendly conversation with me and I think I literally told him “I’m not here to make friends”
Audrey: The F Train’s Next Top Model
Stef: There’s a lot of competition
Carmen: Not me because I’m not doing well rn although I have emotionally dealt with how all Gabby and my mutual friends are now dead to me
Stef: Anyway to look cool at a bar, get something strong, read a book if you have one, radiate badassery
um
idk
ponder darkly
Carmen: How long can a girl nurse a fucking CIDER this isn’t humane oh I have a book but that seems wrong
Also what movie is about Kristen WIIG hanging w aliens bc that’s what’s on rn
Laneia: What the
Where are you
Did you enter a separate dimension
Audrey: Maybe that’s why Gabby and her friends can’t find you. You accidentally entered a different dimension so they are at the bar but you can’t see each other.
Stef: Apparently that movie is called “Paul”
Audrey: I watched that dubbed in Spanish on a bus once. It’s…not good.
Robin: Write your dreams on a bar napkin, Carmen
Several napkins
V cool
Laneia: Maybe
The lesson here
Is actually that you should always have cool gel packs on your person at all times
Stef: Who among us will do “How to be Gross at a Bar”
Laneia: For when your friends have sore cootches
*calling it a cootch in honor of my mother
Stef: That’s quite an honor
Laneia: :swordflame: :hibiscus:
Gabby: Carmen you told everyone my cootie hurt
Stef: Did that fix it?
Gabby: And you been talking that shit
I’m DEAD TO YOU???
Stef: Hey Gabby you’re alive to me how bout you bike up here
Gabby: I hope you break out in lip hives
Oh Hi Stef!
Stef: omg
XOXO Team Autostraddle
