Letter From Your Editors

Hello rad feminist superhero warriors! Ever wonder what this team of wild weirdos is reading these days? Well here ya go!

Every month a different editor is in charge of the collage, this month’s concept came from Laneia and y’all… I really love it! Maybe we should do this every month. And for people who take three months to read the same books, they can get really creative, like the book could be eating them like a live plant as we progress further into time. The best part is, you can easily buy some of these books for yourself right here!

Real talk: planning for A-Camp means not a whole lot of planning goes on for anything besides A-Camp. Most emails are answered with some variation on “This is a really crazy time for us! Let’s chat after June 7th,” and every question I’m asked is met with “can you ask me this again in two weeks.” We’re working hard to prep a lot of fun content for y’all to engage with while we’re atop Mount Feelings, and there’ll be plenty of team members still around these parts to regale you with their supreme wisdom and attitude.

However, we do have plenty of neat-o things in the works, including new columns from Crystal and Beth that will be relevant to your grown-up interests, the ongoing development of a fetus within Haley’s stomach, Gal Pal crop tops and the third issue of BETTER TOGETHER, which’ll be in color and all about queer sultry summers and will feature a special original Lumberjanes comic JUST FOR YOU!

This past month’s A+ content has been a robust assortment of hopes and dreams, including and limited to The A+ Bee Issue Twenty: Going Platinum, 23 Excerpts from Rachel’s Diary, 2013-2015, Stef’s essay A Million Red Flags: My Polyamory Failure, 13 Excerpts From Stef’s Super Secret 8th Grade Diary, The A+ Bee Issue Nineteen: I Feel You In My Heart and I Don’t Even Know You and Mey’s essay about picking her name; Say My Name, Mey’s My Name.

Now, are you ready for some INSIDER FOOTBALL??

Love,

Riese / Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

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Top 10 Most Popular Posts From April 2015

These posts written this month were hella popular this month.

1. 10 Theories About How Lesbians Have Sex From Straight People In History, by Carolyn Yates
2. 50 Fascinating Things You Really Wanted Us To Know About How You Have Sex, by Riese Bernard
3. 41 Feelings You Had About Scissoring, by Riese Bernard
4. Rebel Girls: Bessie Smith Was A Queer Pioneer, and We’re Finally Gonna Get to Talk About It, by Carmen Rios
5. The 100 Gayest Places You’ve Had Sex, by Riese Bernard
6. Bruce Jenner Is Transgender: Let’s Talk About The Coming Out Interview, by Mey Rude
7. Here Are Your Very Queer Underwear-Wearing Habits, by Riese Bernard
8. 7 TV Show About Trans Women Coming Soon To Your TV, by Mey Rude
9. The Fugly Dyke Chronicles: How Getting Trolled About My Insecurities Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened To My Self-Esteem, by Heather Hogan
10. What Does It Mean To Be A Queer Adult? The Autostraddle Roundtable, by Riese, Crystal, Bren, Heather, Laneia, Alley, Kaelyn & Gabby

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Stef: Do you think we could start a trend of people declaring no sexual orientation or particular gender feelings as “just being miley”
Audrey: Orientation: Miley
Stef: I feel this
Miley Cyrus is my fantasy nightmare girlfriend
she would be the worst girlfriend of all time
I would have such a good time having my life ruined by her
Audrey: Miley Cyrus is my fantasy date for the one and only weekend I try hallucinogenic drugs.
Carmen: Miley Cyrus is my soul twin
Stef: Yeah we would get kicked out of a lot of bars together I think

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Hannah: Just btw, I’m leaving all comments on the website in all caps today because I drank my daily recommended intake of H2O and I’m feeling FUCKING FANTASTIC
Maddie: That’s probably the best endorsement I’ve heard for drinking a lot of water

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Stef: This is Jared Leto as the Joker. I’m sorry.
This looks like someone I would have regrettably made out with at a bad metal show when I was 19
Mey: I was gonna say “someone I would have avoided when I was shopping in Hot Topic when I was 19”
Stef: We would have been friends I think, Mey, and you would have judged me really hard
(and been correct)

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Riese: I think I need to learn how to meditate
Rachel: That could be a column
These Five Senior Editors Tried to Meditate For A Month — And You Won’t Believe What Happened

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Stef: Next week’s no filter may as well just be Miley Cyrus
the whole thing
Carmen: I love Miley Cyrus on instagram
it’s literally the shining piece of happiness in my every single day
she’s amazing
Maddie: My instagram heart belongs exclusively to Sara Quin’s cat
Carmen: But Sara Quin’s cat probably doesn’t post blunt smoking videos so like
Maddie: We don’t know what the future holds

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Kaelyn: NSFW… Metro – Remember your loved one – by putting their ashes in a dildo
We kid you not.
Stef: The future is now
Carolyn: I mean
I can see it
Kaelyn: Not for me, but hey…whatever gets you off…especially if that is literally your dead loved one’s ashes.
it’s kind of romantic?
Mey: I feel like this is something early 2000s Angelina Jolie would have had
Kaelyn: If Billy Bob Thornton passed on to the next world while they were dating…who knows what she would have done with the ashes.
Maddie: Well there’s a different spin on queer necropolitics

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Riese: I wish somebody would write a recipe for K-Stew
like a stew that you could make for Alicia Cargile on a cold winter’s eve
Stef: There would be no food in it
just pouting
Riese: Pouting pudding
Stef: Just Kristen’s bottom lip
I wonder if she writes poetry for Alicia
What do you think THEY talk about?

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Rachel: Y’ALL I really want us to have a grilling article
now that summer approacheth
for somebody to write an in-depth grilling 101 piece, for people who don’t know how to grill but want to stand in someone’s back yard in jorts turning something over with tongs and drinking a light american lager
Maddie: Yes, someone please teach me how to grill because i am already great at standing in the back yard in jorts with a beer
Robin: Last summer I made a pizza on a grill and it wasn’t a complete disaster
Carmen: What if there was a video about grilling
a video of someone step-by-step grilling
skinz and I wanna start having people grill here so i will let you know, Rachel, if it looks like I can help this post be born at some point
Stef: You know who’s good at that, Laura Wooley
She taught me how to not set my eyebrows on fire with my old grill

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Beth: So hey I would love to do a series interviewing queer 30-somethings who run their own businesses – all different kinds, at different stages. There could be a set formula inc stuff about inspiration/motivation, tips, challenges, pics of their workspace (from posh studio to corner of bedroom etc) and where they wanna be in a few years time. It’s really about ‘finding your thing’, being a grown up, owning your life, following yr dreams etc.
Ali: ^ I’d personally read the shit out of this
Carmen: I would die for this
not to be dramatic or anything
Laneia: Yes Beth this sounds great!
Riese: I would sacrifice my first born child for this
Beth: Oh you Americans. I take it that’s a “yes.”
Stef: Riese would you be interested in writing a parenting article about how you sacrificed your firstborn for another article

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Yvonne: Anyone want to answer this in the form of a ynh? “so this is an embarrassing question, so i guess i’m hoping this stuff stays anonymous. but any advice for sending someone “sexy” pictures if you identify as more or less butch?”
Riese: Oooh you know who would be good at that question
besides Magda, of course
Kate Severance
Stef: Oh Magda
Lizz: Oh Magda indeed
Riese: how do we get kate to do this
Stef: do we send out a clover signal
Samara: The best sexy pics I ever got were from a butch partner and chronicled the slow removal of a rugby uniform.
Lydia: uhhhhh
This sounds amazing
As a former rugby player
Alley: I recently participated in a “lumbertwink” pic exchange based on the name of an upcoming party if that helps. It involved boxer briefs, a slightly open flannel, knit cap and a log
Riese: the log is a nice touch
Alley: I though so. Even if it was plastic from Ren and Stimpy
Lizz: My butch partners are always sending me like naked shoulder pics. And I’m Like, let a girl see some packed crotch
Laneia: Lizz doesn’t speak often on slack, but when she does, it is the realest
Audrey: So real.

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Meet Some New Contributors!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Caitlin Zinsser, Contributor

Blogs: diversityjane.wordpress.com and babylossmama.wordpress.com
Twitter: @DiversityJane

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
The “heaven-help-me” eye roll emoji. I use it daily when Gchatting my wife about my boss. And my mom. I think of it as the “Bless her heart” emoji. (Southerners will understand.)

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
I’m a sandwich minimalist. One slice of bread, turkey, a slice of provolone, melted in the toaster — that’s ideal. Since I can’t eat deli meat while pregnant, I’ve been getting a chicken breast-provolone-marinara sauce sub from Potbelly, with lots of Italian seasoning.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
I was asked on a first date to a Bon Jovi concert at a large, outdoor music pavilion. When my date insisted on reclining on the blanket for the entire concert instead of dancing and singing along (even during “Shot Through the Heart”), I knew it just was never going to work out.

What’s your favorite sex toy?
My wife. No, really, we haven’t really wanted to use sex toys in our relationship — we like what we have. I’m not opposed to a double-headed vibrator on occasion, though…

What’s your #1 turn-on?
Social competence. A person who can be thrown into an uncomfortable or unfamiliar social setting and not only hold her own but thrive is a huge turn-on. So is kissing the back of my neck.

What’s your #1 turn-off?
An inability to think critically. You know, those folks who fill social media with posts that are obviously fabricated and biased and unsubstantiated? Yeah, them. And anything near my ears. Just don’t.

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WE’RE FREAKING OUT THAT YOU’RE TOGETHER: THE FRUIT BASKET

Gabby: RumorFix: Janelle Monae Dating MC LYTE?! “Rumor Has it that Janelle Monae Dating MC LYTE. The duo allegedly met at the BET Black Girls Rock show and have been sharing a suite at the Greenwich hotel.”
Stef: Is this a gothip girl somebody help
Gabby: like the hottest couple after my heart omg old school + new school = hnnngggg
Laneia!
Stef: (Breathing into a paper bag)
Gabby: lol someone!
Stef: Does this mean MC lyte is an android??
Gabby: Yes and like I can just imagine them remxing keep on keep keepin on
Stef: Where do you go after Prince
Gabby: I think this means mc lyte knows how to cold rock an android party
So many jokes r possible
And swoons, so many swoons
ayyyy
:themoreyouknow:
Stef: Gabby get down here right now we are having an emergency
:ambulance:
Gabby: Ring the alarm
Stef: I am drafting this in my head
“Monae, previously linked to a Prince and Big Bird…”
Gabby: Keep going
I’m already hooked
Gotta what yo gotta get a ruff neck?
Riese: WHAT
WOW
Gabby: OH HAIII
Riese: GOTHIP GIRL 911
Gabby: WELCOME TO THE HNNGGGG
Laneia: MC LYTE OMG
Gabby: YASSSS HALLO
:smile:
Laneia: OMG
Stef: HI RIESE I AM AT THE GROCERY STORE BUT AS SOON AS I GET HOME I AM ON IT CAPN
Laneia: Y’all! I wish someone was here to scream with me!
Riese: THIS IS LIKE WHEN DADT GOT REPEALED
Stef: Is it my birthday
Gabby: STEF MENTION THAT SOURCES FROM THE BRONX, UNIDENTIFIED LOVERBOI, TIPPED YOU OFF
okplz?
Stef: Ok!
Riese: SOURCES LIKE THAT ARE IMPORTANT
Gabby: Laneia me and Laura are screaming w uuu
Laneia: I’m so excited I want to send them a gift!
Stef: Is there some kind of fruit basket??
Laneia: The We’re Freaking Out That You’re Together/Thank You For Bringing This Light Into the World basket
no fucking bananas in that basket
Stef: Here Are Some Halved Strawberries And Papayas And Other Girly Fruits
Gabby: The MY ENTIRE HIP HOP BASED ADOLESCENCE HAS COME FULL CIRCLE FRUIT BASKET
BAMBOO EARRINGS + SALT N PEPA HAIRCUT X ANDROIDS
Laneia: Yes
Stef: Oh sorry guys some guy called ‘the legendary troll’ whose avatar is a picture of drake says “she not gay”
So

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Flashback: The 2009 Autostraddle Prospective Reader Survey

When we launched in March 2009, we did a reader survey asking what you’d like to see on Autostraddle 1.0. I think we had 20 or 30 people answer it, which felt like MILLIONS! Here are some of those responses:

 

 

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Some Answers To Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us

Do you have burning questions about what the fuck is going on around here, Doris? Ask us — just use the A+ priority contact form in your sidebar.

Will you make an autostraddle baseball tee? Please? The “I play for the other team” jokes will be vastly improved.
That’s a good point. About the jokes! Also about the shirts. Shirts look nice on bodies, like shirts with raglan sleeves. If I could, I’d put my heart on a sleeve. Then I’d roll my sleeves up to keep it safe.

This is happening.
Well that’s fucking rad!

I’d like to know what became of Ema A Tuennerman? She starred in “Crush” and played the most adorable tomboy in “One Small Step.”
I AM EMA A TUENNERMAN! It’s true. I’m an adorable tomboy with a very light imdb profile who probably gave up on acting and devoted herself to a more sensible profession like PLASTICS. No but really, as far as my Internet Sherlocking Skills can deduce, Ema Tuennerman had a little band called Ema and the Ghosts, and she sang really sweet songs, and she also played in a folk band called The Cobra Lilies, but has been pretty quiet since 2010. Maybe she works at Anthropologie.

Harriet Tubman is about to kick Jerkface Jackson off the twenty!!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

Yes or No 2.5 is coming out May 28th in Thailand (directed by Kirati Nakintanon). You all put Yes Or No? (the first one, from 2010) on a movie list one time. These movies are wonnnnderful, so please share. Here’s the trailer.
Oooo that’s exciting, I saw “Yes or No?” and liked it a lot. Thank you for pinging my radar with your info.

Can someone please write a response to this piece? I like the premise, but I did not make it far due to the author’s lack of recognition of privilege and the value of the diversity of our community.
I read that piece, I did! I think it’d be cool to do a post about that topic as it applies to queer female communities…. as soon as we get a chance…

CAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMP
CAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMPCAMP

I keep developing crushes on AS writers, even those I’ve never met. Why are you all so amazing, intelligent, and attractive? Not fair.
I think mostly we are that way because of all the potato chips we eat and all of the sleep we don’t get and all of the books we do read. That last part was true. I think reading books makes you more amazing. But regardless, this is cute and we love it! CRUSH HARD.

Does anyone actually use the autostraddle groups on here… is that a thing?
I really wish they did but I fear that they do not. Everybody’s pretty into the book of face these days.

boobs tho
WORD.

so i just discovered twin peaks and this is the best thing to happen in so long
this is weird because my girlfriend also just discovered twin peaks and feels it is the best thing to happen in so long? like she just started watching it last week. My parents used to have Twin Peaks viewing parties. This show was way before its time.

wait no way i saw a pic of gaby dunn and autostraddle’s britanni (among other ppl) on instagram. recruit gaby pls!!
I will inform Brittani Nichols of her duty to recruit Gaby Dunn as soon as I figure out who Gaby Dunn is. Actually no I’ll just go ahead and tell her. Ok I just told her AND I googled Gaby Dunn so now I’m a genius. Gaby Dunn seems very relevant to everyone’s interests wrt being bi and being funny and dying her hair ambitious colors so good looking out, Doris! Stay tuned.

A friend of mine who can’t make it home to Ireland to vote for Equality did his part via stockphotos. Straight allies FTW!
I tried to open that link and my browser crashed but I’m gonna trust you and give your friend a virtual and enthusiastic pat on the back and maybe a little packet of dried cherries.

HALLPPPP my first love has a new love and even though it’s been so long since we went out my heart is shattering into three million pieces :(
This part? The part where she falls for somebody else? This was always going to be part of the process, Doris. This was always in the cards, as inevitable as me wearing braces for four years. The best you can do is shore up and press on, hoping your pain will get a little less every day — and you will press on, you will go on. It seems impossible but you will because you have to. It’s never easy to see someone you loved find love with somebody else, it brings out all of our ugliest saddest feelings from the pit of our guts and lays them right out in the sunshine to fry like an egg. Learning to live with those feelings is part of being a living breathing human being who let’s themselves love people and who, inevitably, also loses people. So slide those heart-pieces a little bit closer to each other every day and one day your puzzle will be resplendent and intact, I guarantee it.

TWO THINGS! I just discovered sleepingbag onesies and thought it was something you guys should know about, if you don’t already. Also these onesies. PLEASE HAVE THE BEST DAY
NO, YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY. I HOPE YOUR DAY ENDS INSIDE A SLEEPING BAG PODSIE.

OMG you guys! So I was very sad because suddenly the internet security robots at work wouldn’t let me come to the Straddleverse because somehow the site was categorized as “porn”??? But I kept trying partially because this is part of my sanity during the day and partially because this is not porn and I am stubborn and BEHOLD! It worked! So I say all of this to say, thank you for being my favorite porn-not porn site!
You’re welcome! Also this is a good strategy, do you think it would work for me at the YMCA? Because I feel oppressed when I can’t read Autostraddle at the gym.

is there an app that can stop me from eating the entire jar or nutella the day I open it? or can someone write an article assuring me that it’s okay to just go ahead and dive into that creamy choco-hazelnut goodness with a spoon? please?
Laneia: Darlin’ you don’t need anyone to make an app or write an article. YOU FOLLOW YOUR HEART, LITTLE ANGEL. You follow that heart straight to the bottom of a Nutella jar if you need to. Or follow it to the bottom of a bag of spinach. Either way your heart’s gonna be like, “Aw things, big rib cage that’s holding me tight! What a beautiful day!” Bless your soul.

Riese, could you please please talk about dating Alex and getting comments about looking related (as mentioned in the ex-girlfriend interview)? I am in this situation and I feel SO WEIRD about it all the time :(
Everybody thought that Alex and I were sisters! Which’s funny ’cause she’s Puerto Rican and much shorter than you’d think by seeing her on the internet. Insult to injury is that our primary facial feature in common is the very unfortunate curse of “weak chin.” Honestly I suspect my discomfort was partially internalized homophobia — like I was worried about people on the street who’d be doubly jarred if they saw us kiss, like it was enough for them to cope with the idea of two girls turning out to be girlfriends, let alone two girls who look like sisters turn out to NOT be sisters and ALSO turn out to be girlfriends. You know: LESBIANS!!!! HOW WOULD THEY EVER RECOVER FROM THE SHOCK? Well, that’s not my problem. And it’s not yours either. When I had a boyfriend who was also tall and skinny, people would be like “oh you could be related! LOL!LOLOLOLOL!” but when it’s lesbians, everybody’s like, “why are you dating your twin, yah big weirdo?!?!?!” I also always checked with Alex before we went anywhere what she was wearing so we wouldn’t dress alike, which I haven’t done with other girlfriends. We had similar haircuts, which didn’t help. BUT our waitress when I took Abby out for her birthday dinner was convinced that Abby and I are sisters even though we look nothing alike. So I don’t know. I think you should just stick your tongue down your girlfriend’s throat in public and love your girlfriend for looking fly. Recently DIVA had an article about lookalike couples, you might find that comforting? Or this:

I remembered that there was a song I heard that reminds me so much of what A CAMP is. It’s called “You’ll Be Safe Here” by Rivermaya. They’re a Filipino band. So basically I was listening to it a few days ago and I thought THATS WHAT CAMP IS OMG.

I CAN’T WAIT TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG. Also, camp.

I haven’t seen anything about this yet on the site and as I feel it is pretty important I’m dropping a line about it here to see if maybe you guys have somewhere appropriate to include it. This is an appeal from the LGBTQI organization in Nepal – not every member of our community can access general care or expect to be treated well if they attempt to, so it’s important that we band together to help people out if we can. Maybe you’ve seen it already – if not I hope no harm done in forwarding it :) Have a wonderful day!
Laneia talked about it briefly in this AAA, but thank you for forwarding and helping to get the word out there some more!

Autostraddle is my favorite thing. If I were Oprah y’all would be on “my favorite things or whatever” every day and I would make all of my viewers give you money. Thank you love you.
THANK YOU and we love YOU! I wish I could give you a free car, some trail mix, a Stephen Dunn poetry book and a bunch of New York Magazine crossword puzzles, which are my favorite things. Also some Philz coffee b/c I want some right now but don’t have time to go get any, and I think if I got you some then you’d let me have a sip, right?

I love you!!! I’m sad I can’t go to A Camp this year!!! As it gets closer I feel like its time to go home, cause A Camp is home, but I can’t go home this year :( Hopefully next year it won’t be right before my finals.
I’M SAD YOU CAN’T GO TO A-CAMP THIS YEAR TOO. I don’t know who this question is from but I’m positive that I’m gonna miss you. POSITIVE.

Yay for sponsored posts! you won a thing! well done :)
Aw, thanks friend! Alex Vega for the win! And it was so awesome how engaged everybody got with the posts despite them being sponsored — these days I’m really leaning towards sponsored content rather than display ads, because I want a cleaner reading experience, so it’s great when we can find ways to do them where we get to write about stuff we’d write about anyhow, yannow?

Just wanted to say, i’ve been wanting to become an A+ human being since y’all first started this funding plan…but my bike messenger life just couldn’t guarantee i’d have that $$ each month, which bummed me out. But, as i’ve just moved across the country for a 6month contract job, now I can support the things I find to be important, like media that actually feels like it represents me. As a GQboi, i first questioned this connection of mine to Autostraddle, but y’all just do it so well! Also, i was stoked to use the Queer City Guide on a recent visit to Northahmpton,MA. Heading to Brooklyn in a couple weeks and i’m sure I’ll find more rad Autostraddle suggestions for passing my time there. Basically, thanks for everything y’all do. Writing and living by art is not an easy thing to do, and its a real easy thing to give up on, so thanks for not giving up.
Thank you for sticking with us and joining A+. I’m glad you had fun in Northampton! I was going to try and recommend something in Brooklyn but I haven’t lived there in a number of years and probably it’s completely different now and everything is like artisan beards. I will think of you when I try not to give up. <3

You’re doing an amazing job, thank you so much for all your hard work. I write for my country’s most read ladies who love ladies blog. I really want to write about more current events, but every time I get the news of something, it’s already on autostraddle. Where do you get your news? How can I avoid just being an autostraddle translater and linksharer?
Thank you! FTR, I’m totally fine with you being an Autostraddle link sharer! I have a news feed on twitter which follows a lot of media outlets and alerts me about articles I need to check out. So I probably get my news from about 100 different sources. I follow a lot of things on feedly. Also searching google news for “gay” or “lesbian” usually works!

You guys should totally set up a Slack group for A+ members (maybe as a gold-level perk). It would be a low maintenance low cost A+ perk and it would be like having an all-the-time virtual A Camp.
This is an interesting idea I am thinking about!

ALSO I AM LOVING THE 30 PLUS CONTENT. Seriously I turn 30 next week and how is this website so amazing, how are you growing with me. Love it and love you!
I AM LOVING IT AND YOU TOO, also partially b/c it’s really important that this website ages with ME, also, you know?

did all the overt comment-crushing on your old legal expert scare her off? I would have loved some A-approved analysis of the SCOTUS hearings this week :)
I would’ve loved her analysis of the SCOTUS hearings also! She’s definitely still in our orbit and writes when she has a chance but I guess sometimes she’s too busy to do everything we want her to do. Overt comment-crushing never scares people away, grasshopper, it only brings them closer to G-d.

***PLEASE*** ORDER MORE OF THE STRADDLE THIS HOT SHORTS!!!
OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY WE WILL

Is there any way members can be notified when they have a new message from someone? I don’t usually check my profile and I had 2 new messages from like 7 months ago! Some kind of signal that they were there would be useful. Thanks!
Yes you get e-mail notifications when you have a new message! Make sure yours aren’t all going to trash.

I feel like there should be some sort of Autostraddle-covered Deanne Smith / Urzila Carlson crossing of paths at the NZ Comedy Festival
The feeling of your readers being more on top of a thing than you are

Due to my luddite lack of twitter I missed the fact that this interaction is already going down range – https://twitter.com/UrzilaCarlson/media
eeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mostly this has reminded me of HOW EXCITED I AM TO SEE DEANNE SMITH AT CAMP. This one time, Deanne Smith drew a picture of a smiling cat on the corner of the whiteboard in my office and I never erased it. It’s still there right this minute!

advice for an expat queer in kuala lumpur? how to meet people? for both friends and dating…. I’ll be moving there in August for about six months and it would be nice to have some queers to hang out with, especially since a lot of expats are horribly racist, capitalist douchebags – so that shrinks an otherwise available social circle
DOES ANYBODY HERE HAVE ANY INFORMATION ON BEING AN EXPAT QUEER IN KUALA LUMPUR? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

Can we do like a leather jacket+sunglasses meet up at camp and take a bad ass picture and look like a biker gang??
Yes.

I LOVE YOU GUYS. I JUST REALLY DO.
SAME.

Articles about trans-positive, sex-negative feminism s’il vous plait
What???!! Sex-negative feminism? I mean, I’m all about the trans-positivity but why do we have to be sex-negative. That feels sad to me.

I don’t know what to pack for A-Camp. Based on photos it seems like anything is fine but should I bring sandals AND shoes? That kind of thing. Could there be an open thread about what people are bringing (have brought in the past) with them? Thanks for reading!
Yes, you should bring sandals and shoes. It’s going to be summer during the day and winter at night. A packing list should go out this week!

Amber (who isn’t out but is unusual in the K-Pop world for dressing masculine of center) just released a music video and it is glorious, I thought it might be good link for the Daily Fix-
What if my Daily Fix next week (due the day we leave for SoCal) was just this video? Do you think people would be okay with it? I’d be okay with it, if I wasn’t me.  Actually, I guess I’d also want news. So, I’ll put this in that but also put in other things.

hello this pressing question is for laneia! dear laneia: so i see from the last insider that you pronounce your name two different ways and i desperately need to talk to someone about this very issue. my name is lauren. my whole life, people have said my name either LOOOOREN or LAAAAAWREN and now i dont know how to say my name. sometimes i have a little mini crisis when people ask me my name because do i even know? do you relate to this at all y/n/maybe? do you pick one way and stick with it? do you find you change the way you say it depending on who you are around and how they say it? do you prefer one way? does this make me sound insane? thought so please help.
Babe YES. Yes I have felt this crisis. What even is my name? What is any name? My name is 66.6% vowels, which is roughly the same percentage of water that makes up our bodies, so I feel pretty at peace with this ratio. But the thing about vowels, as you know Lauren, is that they have many variations, and when you put them together with other vowels these variations just multiply and pile up. I thought about going by L for a while, and spelling it like Elle, because it would make it easier for other people and we could all just get on with our existence. But by that time too many people knew that L/Elle wasn’t my name and I’ve never had the sort of conviction it takes to change one’s name for good. (When I was little I tried changing it to Samantha, Sam for short OBVS, but no one was having it and I kept forgetting to correct them because I was six. I tried out Molly at age nine — and I had the haircut to pull it off at the time, trust me — but again, I kept forgetting. You have to remember your own name, is the thing.) I do change the way I pronounce it depending on who’s around — usually I want my family to pronounce it one way and acquaintances to pronounce it the other way. The truth is that there’s only one real way to say the name my mother gave me, and sometimes I just don’t want people to get that close. I just realized this as I was typing my response to your question, Lauren, so this has been a real rollercoaster of a paragraph!

A few weeks back me and my friend we having a discussion about Transparent until we realized that we were just quoting bits from Rachel’s recaps back and forth to each other. Then we had to admit that neither of us had watched the show like we had pretended we had… we had both just religiously read Rachel’s recaps. tl;dr Rachel you are beautiful on the inside and the outside.
Rachel says: oh well this is just so nice to hear! Honestly those recaps were tough to write because I hate feeling genuine human emotion and when I watched transparent and then wrote recaps I had to feel them TWICE so thank you for this validation! You and your friend are both beautiful every day, in every way.

anyone here have any strong feelings about gaby dunn?
YES! A person just a few questions back has strong feelings about Gaby Dunn and seems to feel that Brittani Nichols also has those feelings. So that’s two people and honestly there are probs a lot more who just haven’t come out of the woodwork yet.

it’s so great that you guys have this new queer mama thing, am loving it. but at the same time every time i read it, my number one feeling becomes *shitttt when am i going to have a baby* which is ridic cause i am a college student. it only gets worse from here doesn’t it?
Yes. Yes it does.

Hey so Ireland is holding a referendum on Equal Marriage next month (and looks set to be the first country to legalise by popular vote). The whole campaign has been very interesting / emotional for a lot of reasons and it would be really cool if one of your team wrote a thing about and informed all the people.
Yes!

Hey Riese, you implied in a recent post that you used to drink lots but now not so much. Yay! What are your secrets to getting past alcohol dependency?
Smoking more pot! No, but seriously, yes, I used to drink every night for several years, and I think so far this year I’ve drank maybe five or six times? (I anticipate this number doubling next week because A-Camp.) My present girlfriend doesn’t drink very much, so that’s a huge factor. But I cut back in a major way a few years ago mostly ’cause I realized that I felt SO much better at life the next day if I hadn’t been drinking the night before. I’m not sure that I’m the best role model because basically I’ll give up anything that screws up my work, but I cling to other things that might not be healthy if they do help me work. I think the first day is the hardest. It’s about creating new habits and discarding old ones and asking yourself why you’re reaching for a drink instead of [other thing].  Once you get past that first week and start making new healthy habits, it gets easier.

Would it be crazy to suggest an interview with Shonda Rhimes? Is that doable?
I WISH

Hi. Hi Autostraddle. I have a serious concern to share with you. Sometimes it really stresses me out (enough that I have to get out my computer at 2:30 AM to type this in this box because it is on my brain) that people do not realize how AMAZING it is and how LUCKY Autostraddle is to have beautiful person Heather Hogan writing for them. Like for me, it is full circle because right when I was like ‘well crap I want to be with my best friend ALL THE TIME and and will have a meltdown if she kisses boys’ I somehow found Heather’s writing on AfterEllen and read all of her things and she is so amazing! And now she writes for Autostraddle! the site that I have met so many amazing people through and read so many amazing things and went to a freaking mountain with. It makes me so happy. That is all. See you on the mountain queers.
This is adorable and I love it.

Hi! I am a tiny European who just survived her first Canadian winter and all I want to do now is to grow herbs and flowers to forget the cold/snow/general absence of life. I don’t have a garden but I would love to start one in my kitchen. Laura did a super cool article about it two years ago, but that’s all I can find in the archives. It would be great to read more about indoor (and even outdoor) gardening if some of you have skills to share! Thanks.
CEE PLEASE HELP US PLEASE CEE HELP WRITE A THING FOR US PLEASE THANK YOU. I’ll try and harass Abby into writing something too, ’cause Growing Things is to Abby what Writing Things is to me.

I was wondering do you know what percentage of regular readers are A+ members? Actually do you get to know how many regular readers you have?
We don’t know how many regular readers we have, no. :-/

I haven’t been able to read any of the diary excerpts (to my great dismay) because I’m only a bronze membership, so I thought I’d rectify that by sending you all an excerpt from my sophomore year of high school diary of sorts. Do you want to read my little baby gay musings? Of course you do!
“I mean…I’m seeing stars. Maybe it’s summertime or maybe it’s all the books I’ve been reading lately with queer characters or maybe it’s because I just finished reading a play with some marvelous lesbians or maybe I’ve been listening to too much Tegan and Sara, but I’m dizzy in love with you. I’m not saying that’s a good thing, and perhaps it’s quite naïve of me, but I am grinning the dorkiest grin possible right now and it’s all because of you. I really can’t help it.”
Oh, little me.
Oh little you! I wish I could give you a toaster and make a pop tart in the toaster and then hand you the pop tart on a paper towel.

I am seeing a therapist for the first time and am starting to sort through 28 years of fucked up family baggage. I’m happy to finally be in therapy but have no idea what I’m doing. Is there any way you could do a You Need Help: You’re seeing a therapist for the first time? Like, what are the different kinds of therapists, what are the different kinds of therapy treatments, how do you know if your therapist is a good fit. A team Therapy Feelings Roundtable would also be awesome.
That’s a good idea about the roundtable! In the meantime, I have found you this: How To Find A Therapist.

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MINI-INTERVIEW WITH A SENIOR STAFF MEMBER: BREN

What do you do in your job?
Everything that no one else wants to do/has time to do. Also I put words/images in WordPress for the writers who don’t have access to WordPress, find affiliate links for things, fill all the merch orders, send out A+ stickers/shirts, provide emotional support for anyone who needs it and generally root for everyone’s personal and professional success.

What is your favorite part of this position?
I got to sleep with Rachel once. JUST KIDDING!
My favorite part getting to be around this particular group of internet weirdos. They are my kind of weirdos.

What is something you dream to bring to Autostraddle?
Open Thread Fridays are great, but my dream is Puppy Mondays.

What’s the hardest part?
Trying to figure out what Laneia and Riese really want when they ask for a thing. After 4 years (this month is actually my Autostraddleversary!), though, I like to think I’m pretty good at translating the Laneiriesese now.

Favorite online writer/editor / or like your hero?
Tinkerbell. Hands down. I’m going to start a change.org petition to bring back Tinkerbell’s Team Picks.

What do you wish people understood about your job?
That it’s an actual job. I’m not just sitting around in pajama pants and a scissoring sweatshirt all day doing nothing. I mean, I AM sitting around in pajama pants and a scissoring sweatshirt, but I’m doing SOMETHING. I’m doing the revolution.

Favorite snack to eat while working?
I’m really into peanut butter filled pretzels right now.

What would be the song that a montage of you doing your job would be set to?
“Everything is Awesome” by Tegan and Sara from the Lego movie soundtrack.

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A Dinner Party Story Heather Hogan Told Us The Other Day

Stacy and I went to a dinner party with a bunch of straight friends last night. Straight friends who are really good people, but still very straight and often clueless. and after many drinks, the Kardashians came up, and I felt that feeling of dread in my stomach because I knew it was going to turn to Bruce Jenner and these straight people were going to say something so offensive and I was a little drunk and sometimes lack the courage to say things that make people uncomfortable. And soI  was sitting there with so much dread. And then our buddy’s new girlfriend, who we were all meeting for the first time, she said, “isn’t Kim Kardashian’s dad the one who has decided to become  a woma—” and Stacy stood up and said, “STOP. DON’T SAY IT.” And everyone got real quiet and she was like, “no one here starts saying shit about Bruce Jenner! Unless you know what the fuck you’re talking about! And starting with ‘becoming a woman’ is a pretty clear indication that you don’t know what you’re talking about!” and the girl was like, “I’m sorry.” And Stacy was like, “You should be sorry!” and I was like, man, I have no idea how I fell so deeply in love with someone so completely different than me, such a tiny little tornado, but I sure am glad I did. Then she made everyone give her their email addresses so she could send resources for talking about trans issues and not being an ass.

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May 2015 Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous Mays Riese thinks you might enjoy.

Robin Shoots & Riese Interviews Julie Goldman, World’s Funniest Lez, by Riese & Robin Roemer – This was the first interview I ever did for Autostraddle! I was so nervous that I day-drank for the first time ever because I just wanted Julie to like me and think I was funny, you know? She was leaving Brooklyn for Los Angeles literally the day we interviewed her, and was clearly not having the best day ever, but I still made her laugh AND obviously she made us laugh, and Robin took great pictures. Props to Alex Vega, whose supreme design skills enticed Julie to remain in contact with us so that one day she could become my wife I MEAN FRIEND.

Comics 101: The First Step is Admitting You Have A Problem, by Taylor Hatmaker (2010) – I’ve gotten really into comics lately and therefore really would encourage you to read this and then read every Drawn to Comics ever and then read Bitch Planet and then you’ll be much happier than you ever thought you could be.

Hello Testosterone, Hello Heteronormative Privilege, by Sebastian Barr (2011) If you haven’t read Annika’s piece, Hello Estrogen, Farewell Heteronormative Privilege, you should, because this piece exists because that one did, and it talks about what it’s like to go from being perceived as a lesbian to being perceived as part of this country’s most privileged class: a “straight white upper-middle-class higher-educated guy,” to be specific.

Riese & Laneia Read Books: Lesbinoic Young Adult Novels Part One, by Riese & Laneia (2009) – Actually technically this is by Riese and “Green” because that’s when Laneia was still using a nickname. I remember getting her to give me pictures of herself was quite the effort, but I think the final result was worth it.

Experiments in Sobriety or “This Is When I Admit That I Have A Drinking Problem,” by Anonymous (2012) – This is so beautifully written and so painfully honest. I recommend it with my whole heart & soul.

How Sailor Moon Made Me A Feminist: An Ode To Magical Girl Shows, by Rose (2013) – This is one of those things that was about a thing I don’t know anything about but I still really liked it a lot.

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SS + ERW 4EVER

Riese: I wish ERW had a hipster documentary about being a real-life Shane
like a reality TV series but artsy
but not really artsy
just like they use filters
make us feel smart when we watch it
Stef: I feel like I would faint
Riese: It would be such a good show
Stef: Do you think she’s boning a bunch of random LA lesbians now or
I mean the world is her oyster
Riese: I feel like she stays home and reads books
Stef: I imagine Kristen Stewart on the couch next to Alicia Cargile looking at ERW in a magazine and just rolling her eyes
This is a show I would watch
“celesbians react to each others’ legends”
‘Ugh yeah, Evan Rachel Would, you sure would’
Riese: Then Kristen Stewart gets her bangs out of her eyes by shrugging with half her body
then silence
Stef: Dating Marilyn Manson is but a small blip in most womens’ lives
Unless you’re Rose McGowan when it’s the last interesting thing you ever did
Riese: Ain’t that the truth
Stef: Like wtf is her type
Shane, Marilyn Manson, Billy Elliott
The internet says also maybe Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Edward Norton and Shane West
Riese: Seriously I would love to see her with some mega high-femme who is like a foot taller than her
Stef: I mean ideally, me
Riese: Right, yes, ideally
Stef: I’d wear dresses for her
Riese: Just like her other goth ex
Stef: Listen!
She’d love it

Stef: I just really appreciate that for the longest time it was like ‘Oh Evan Rachel Wood is bisexual I hear, whatever’
and then she got divorced and was like ‘you know what, fuck this’
and is now a goddamn legend
Riese: Wait maybe that’s a real article though
Evan Rachel Wood is showing all you motherfuckers how a resplendent bisexual truly lives in the wilds of Los Angeles
think on it
Stef: Honestly I thought it was just a lot of ordering from My Vegan Gold and crying alone in the kitchen
Riese: I don’t even know who Jamie Bell is
Stef: Jamie Bell is Billy Elliott!
literally the kid from that movie
she married him
she had a son with him
Riese: Oh wow
Stef: SHE’S A MOM
DO YOU THINK SHANE MET HER KID
Riese: Shane loves kids
like Shay
I hope she didn’t get attached
Stef: Do you think Shane’s three legged chihuahua played with her son
Oh man
Do you think sometimes when ERW goes out to The Abbey or whatever and she’s out all night romancing random LA lesbians
ERW’s son just shows up in Shane’s backyard
and she feeds him cereal
I think he’s like two
Riese: I hope so because nobody filled the hole in Shane’s heart from when Shay left
Stef: They never released the name of their son publicly
Riese: It’s Shay, probably
Stef: I know Brittani gets tired of me constantly asking for intel but like
where does ERW even live
what is her world
Riese: I think she lives with Brittani
Stef: I don’t think I’ve felt like this since Devon Sawa
although I guess they have had similar haircuts
Riese: They do
Isn’t he dead
Stef: No I follow him on twitter and he’s an idiot
and posts a lot of really dumb shit about like wrestling and sometimes casual racism and then I’m like ‘I’m so glad you never wrote back to the letter I probably sent to Tiger Beat when I was eleven’
You know who’d never do that
ERW
Riese: :disappointed:
Stef: What if we remade all the movies starring 90s teen beat heartthrobs with Evan Rachel Wood
Evan Rachel Wood as JTT’s tom sawyer
Evan Rachel Wood as Leonardo Dicaprio in anything
ERW as the human casper
Brittani: Evan Rachel Wood does go to The Abbey or at least I’ve been to The Abbey while ERW was there and we were in the same booth but we didn’t talk and honestly the fact that she has a child is a lot for me to handle because she is without doubt the most openly thirsty person on Twitter and it is hilarious
Stef: Seriously
Brittani: You should do a post that’s just a collection of all the times ERW has hit on people on twitter
Stef: AND NONE OF THOSE TIMES WERE ME
Brittani: I haven’t been checking but last I heard she was hitting on Morello from OITNB
Stef: Is Yael Stone queer??
Brittani: No
Stef: Doesn’t matter
we are all powerless
remember all the gross comments on that us weekly article when she and Kate Moennig broke up like
‘lol she’s not even really gay she just got divorced’ all this biphobic bullshit about how now she was gonna go back to men
YOU FOOLS
Do you think if I just reply to Evan Rachel wood on Twitter like “@evanrachelwood you should have said hi :)”
that she would fall for that
Brittani: hahahahahaahah
Maybe?
Best chance would probs be getting one of those damn shirts
Stef: I can never bring myself to buy that shirt
I’m sorry I just
:expressionless:
Brittani: I stand with you on this issue

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Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

1. Meet Loretta Lynch, Our New Attorney General: Where She Stands on 5 Big Issues by Kaitlyn

You know when someone tells you like “you should really get your catalytic converter looked at” and you’re like “haha ok” because obviously you will never do that, and then your car breaks down and you realize your catalytic converter was actually a pretty important component? (Don’t judge this analogy harshly because honestly I have no idea what a catalytic converter is.) Anyways, we in the US traditionally don’t spend a TON of time talking about our attorney generals, but they’re a big deal and can make a big difference! For instance, here’s some stuff Eric Holder was able to accomplish. Loretta Lynch is your new Big Attorney on Campus, so take the ten minutes to learn about what her deal is.

2. Booths for Ladies: An Unauthorized History of the Lexington Club by Ivy Schlegel

Y’all all we want to do is shower you lovingly with accounts of fascinating lesbian bar history, for days and days. Please believe me when I say you will be glad you have read it. It’s just like, you know, the universe is trying to give you this gift of amazing community history, all you have to do is accept it! LET IT IN. Read the post.

3. 7 Rad Queer Women Characters of Black and White Cinema by Sara Century

There are few things that delight me more than when I get to edit a post that is totally outside the realm of my own expertise, because it makes my job even more interesting than it usually is! I knew next to nothing about classic cinema, let alone queer characters within it, when I started with this piece and by the end I felt DRUNK ON KNOWLEDGE, which is like being drunk with power but not as stressful. I would highly recommend it.

4. This Week In Privacy by Ali

Privacy and its dwindling future are both things that I usually try to avoid thinking about because doing so makes me feel helplessly panicky, sort of like my taxes. Also like my taxes, though, ignoring encroachments upon our privacy doesn’t make them go away or really do anything positive at all. This quality roundup by Ali features some news on the extent to which your cell phone data can be used in a court of law without a warrant, a neat app for obscuring personal info in images, and more! If you get stressed out by it there’s also a video of some surveillance-related installation art that you might be able to just sort of watch blink and beep for a while.

5. PHOTO ESSAY: Jeezy’s Juke Joint: Confronting Queer Black Erasure One Article of Clothing at a Time, by Rena

This is a PHOTOESSAY! Do you know how delighted I am when we can do photoessays. Usually we don’t do much burlesque stuff — you would, I suspect, be surprised at how often burlesque stuff is on offer — but the prospect of this PHOTOESSAY was fantastic, and also I was so into everything that burlesque show creator Jeez Loueez had to say, I feel like you will really like it too! Maybe wait to read it until you’re not at work though — I mean I don’t know what your workplace is like, there are no nipples or genitalia here but there sure are a lot of pasties.

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Autostraddle’s Big Day Out (to Madison)

by Rachel

Back, back in the sands of time — around the beginning of March — the good people of the Campus Women’s Center at the University of Wisconsin-Madison got in touch with Autostraddle and asked if there were about four staff members who would want to come to scenic Madison and talk about feminism and queer identity on the internet. A crack team was assembled: Gabby Rivera, QTPOC Speakeasy Editor and overall tenderhearted badass, Carmen Rios, co-Social Media Maven as well as Straddleverse Editor, Feminism Editor, and Senior Drake Correspondent, Whitney Pow, Autostraddle contributor, graduate student extraordinaire, and wizard of new media and cutting-edge gaming. Also me, I was there.

We arrived in Madison on Tuesday April 28th from our respective starting points; I personally had a harrowing drive from elsewhere in Wisconsin that got me to the university campus about fifteen minutes before the reading was supposed to start. Marie and Joanna, two of the charming young students who had arranged our event, escorted us to a hallway where the Women’s Center was handing out zines and stickers and “We Can Do It!” buttons with Beyonce as Rosie the Riveter. Once inside the room the event was held in, we found an audience of brilliant and adorable humans waiting for us.

Marie, our moderator, asked a series of questions based on earlier conversations we had had via email. The discussion ranged from Autostraddle’s history to camp to the Speakeasy to Slack to camp again and everywhere in between — people had super great questions about how we’ve evolved as a publication, our publication process and workflow, and how our politics inform our work. Whitney, Carmen and Gabby all totally killed it, and it was a thrill to be able to listen to them, let alone be a co-panelist.

Afterwards, we got to meet some of the audience (hello! If you’re reading you were so great, we love you!) and collect ourselves along with the women of the Women’s Center. They graciously escorted us to some sort of fantastical outdoor beer terrace, where they plied us with beer and cheese curds as we watched this bird attack a table a few feet away from us over and over again and the beautiful sunset over Lake Mendota (I think that’s the lake? There are a lot of lakes). As the evening rolled merrily along, conversations got even better and deeper; we talked about Youtube stars and gender and haircuts and parents, and if those students are any barometer of the Youth of Today then I feel extra excited about the future.

Later, after it had gotten fully dark and many pitchers of Spotted Cow had been consumed, several Women’s Center members graciously let me park their car behind their co-op housing so it wouldn’t get towed and the Autostraddle staffers retired to our hotel room, where we tested the patience of the local Ian’s by laboriously ordering four different individual and highly detailed pizzas over the phone and then collapsed onto the king bed to watch Runner Up, the documentary-style reality show about Clay Aiken’s run for a Congressional seat in 2014. Did you know that happened? I didn’t. It was a night of revelations.

Carmen and Whitney both had to leave at the crack of dawn, so Gabby and I awoke in a somewhat leisurely fashion and went out for breakfast, where we ate pancakes and biscuits and talked about books and our feelings before checking out the local thrift store and Tony Robinson Jr’s memorial and then bidding sweet adieu at the airport before I drove home.

In conclusion, if you think your university or organization has even the slightest willingness to consider bringing Autostraddle staffers in to talk about changing the world RIGHT TO YOUR FACE, you should definitely ask about it because it will be a fantastic time for everyone, most of all you. Use the contact form to tell us that you want to book an event, or just email laneia at laneia [at] autostraddle [dot] com!

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Brittani’s Lifestyle Recommendation of the Month

As I lay in my bed naked, trying to figure out what I wanted my recommendation to be it hit me. This is it. Or this is sort of it. The naked part is part of it. This is getting confusing. My recommendation is exercising naked! Is that cool?! I don’t know! Do people do that a lot already? I super don’t know!

Here is what happens. I go play basketball. I get home. I enjoy smelling absolutely terrible because it reminds me of how I was just doing this thing that was physically and mentally engaging and fun. I eventually get tired of smelling absolutely terrible but still want to revel in the act of having exerted myself physically so I take off my clothes because that’s the worst of it and work out a bit more: yoga, sit-ups, body weight stuff, whatever. And I’m doing it NAKED. It is a joy.

Listen, I’ve got some good ol’ classic body dysmorph happening re: my chesticles but exercising naked let’s me appreciate all the other parts of my body that I do like. My legs are cool! Look at ’em doing stuff! Oh man, I’ve broken so many of these parts and somehow they work again! You things are resilient! I spend so much time covered up so that I can go move in the world that I forget about my body and this is a good way to check in just to be like, “Hey kid, how you doing?”

Now I am v. buttoned-up. I don’t chill out nude with my buds. I’m not someone that’s cruising around the apartment naked. But for some reason, this has been very relaxing and makes me want to work out more. So give it a go! And maybe it will be the worst thing you’ve ever done or the best or just ok. Just don’t forget to close your blinds.

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Carolyn’s Sex Toy Recommendation Of The Month

The Tantus Plunge Paddle is a matte black paddle/dildo. As a paddle, it’s stingy as hell. It’s smallish (6.75 inches long and 3 inches wide), so it’s easy to control, but it needs very little force behind it. As a dildo, the handle is 1.25 inches in diameter and has 5.5 inches of insertable length. It’s rounded, so in addition to doubling as a dildo, it’s comfortable to grip. (The paddle end makes a less effective handle than business end, but if you curl it to grip, it gets the job done.) The end is a little bit g-spotty, and if you flip it around the shape also makes it easier to hold if it’s covered in lube. Basically it’s the perfect toy if you only want one toy to go from hitting to fucking and back. It’s also 100% silicone, so you can boil it, because safety is sexy.

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You Got That James Dean Daydream Look In Your Eye

Riese: What if taylor swift is truly gay
Stef: She’d clean up at A-Camp
but would still look like she’s probably a really bad kisser
Heather: I actually think Taylor Swift probably IS a bad kisser and I love her and own all her albums and have been a fan since “Tim McGraw”
Stef: I just mentally wrote a list of all the celebrities we follow for this kind of shit and tried to figure out who the best kisser is
I’m thinking Carrie Brownstein
Heather: NO DOUBT!
Stef: Bitch has some tricks up her sleeve
Heather: Please say your whole list
Stef: See I keep thinking of things like this for articles and then going ‘No I’m being a gross bro’
Lydia: T-Swift is defs a bad kisser
Stef: We need one of you to make out with her to find out
Bren: Calling all interns….
Cameron: Look, I’d do it but I don’t think her lipstick is my color and I imagine it has magical qualities that makes it near impossible to get off?
Mey: I’ll step up and volunteer
Riese: Stef maybe you should start tweeting at her
Cameron: And ask about the lipstick. I’m curious now.
Stef:  really I would love to survey all the celesbians we ever write about
just figure out
I mean between me, Cameron and Mey I think we could handle this
Riese: I bet ERW is the best
Stef:  I think that too
Riese: At everything sexual related
Stef: ERW is a god
Riese: Didn’t she date Marilyn Manson
Stef: Yeah she did
But Manson is probably into really weird shit and terrible
Riese: Exactly
Just saying I bet she is pretty down for whatever
Stef: She just like
Woke up one day after divorcing Jamie Bell and was like
THIS IS IT, I’M GONNA BECOME A QUEER GOD
cut the sleeves off of all her shirts, buzzed in an undershave and took off to conquer the world.

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I’d just like to take a quick moment to remind you that we do read books and pursue social justice causes and have thoughts about things that aren’t celebrities. It’s just that Stef talking about celebrities is fucking hilarious.

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XOXO Team Autostraddle