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This is something you might want to read if you need the courage to leave someone that occasionally treats you like a piece of shit. This person is great. They are smart and sexy and funny and when they’re not being an asshole, they are the exact opposite of an asshole. They are kind and loving when they’re not being mean and withholding. They are everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner plus a bunch of stuff you don’t. They are the person you’ve heard other people talk about but didn’t believe they existed. You didn’t think a person like that could happen to you and then they did. And they were intoxicating. You drank them up even though they only gave you sips. You weren’t cocky enough to believe you were different than everyone else but you were silly enough to believe they were different with you.
They aren’t nuts. They haven’t cheated. They haven’t done anything Wrong with a capital ‘W.’ They might be a little emotionally abusive but it’s so subtle that you can’t quite put a finger on why it feels So Bad. It’s that thing where when you try to explain it to anyone, even yourself, you shake your head because you can never find the right words to explain why it fucking sucks. You just feel it in your stomach. They’ve burned you so much on the little things that are skipped over and ignored because they aren’t the Big Things that when they don’t, you feel lucky. That’s not why you should feel lucky.
You ask your friends to tell you you’re not stupid for thinking that something’s wrong then you turn around and ask them to tell you you’re not stupid for sticking around. You feel broken or like you’ve done something wrong but you haven’t. Wanting to not feel bad isn’t wrong. Wanting to not feel bad isn’t the goal. You should have someone that holds you up and since they don’t make you fall to the ground you think it’s ok that your shoulders sag. Everyone knows to run from huge, scary monsters. It’s harder to know you’re supposed to run from something so unassuming.
You’re not leaving this person because it can’t work out. You know it could work out. You know you could be great together. You know it deep in your soul, sure as your heart beats, sure as the infinity that passed in the time they could have done something. Could have said something. Could have apologized. That is how sure you are that you two could be fucking amazing. But you won’t be. Because they don’t deserve you. After the way they treated you, they don’t get to have you. You are a fucking prize. You are The Shit, dude. You will make whomever you are with the happiest human in the world and if you can’t you will surely try. And they don’t deserve that. They deserve exactly what they’re gonna get — a piece of shit of person. Because that’s what they treat people like. And the only people that will stick around and stand for being treated LIKE pieces of shit, are people that think they ARE pieces of shit. You’re not a piece of shit, you’re a person, silly.
So good luck to them. They’ll need it. But you, my friend. You’re gonna be just fine.
