One of you lucky little heathens is going to win a SIGNED copy of Leah Dieterich’s new book, thxthxthx, and we’re all pretty excited about it! You’re probably familiar with thxthxthx the website, where Leah’s grateful for everything from continuums to bras to girls who wear high tops. This one’s probably our favorite, extremely relevant thank-you note:
Copyright Andrews McMeel 2011
A little bit on Leah’s concept:
There’s always something to be thankful for. From the important things like Songs You’re Embarrassed to Like, and Heavy Eyelids that Tell You When You Need to Sleep, to friends and family, love and loneliness, light and darkness, Leah Dieterich sets out to acknowledge them all. thxthxthx is her daily exercise in gratitude.
How lovely is that? Yes, it’s very lovely. But you know what else thxthxthx is? Clever and affirming! Here’s something else Leah’s thankful for:
Copyright Andrews McMeel 2011
Win a Signed Copy of thxthxthx!
+ Write your very own “thank you” note in the comments. You can thank anything, anyone, anywhere: your dog, your lucky underpants, George Bush. Get creative. You do you, is what I’m saying.
+ Leah Dieterich herself will choose a favorite. Based on what? Who knows! Don’t even worry about that.
+ We’ll announce the winner next Tuesday!
If you don’t win the signed copy, there’s no need to fret, kittens. You can you can pickup your very own copy whenever your heart desires.
Let’s end this as we do most days here at Autostraddle, with a “thank you” to bourbon:
Copyright Andrews McMeel 2011
Leave your thank you notes in the comments! I promised her you guys would come up with some good ones, so, no pressure or anything.
Dear rose absolute essential oil,
Thank you for reminding me that classic, basic, and simple still exists and can be so beautiful.
Much Love,
Asia
Dear final papers,
Thank you for making me feel like a boss when I can bust out a whole essay in one night.
Love,
Radiogirl
Dear Lady
Thanks for appearing when you did. Because I know we have in common what it is that we have in common, I can rest easy. I guess I’m not so weird after all. Phew.
Love, FelonKeller
Dear Sun that Rarely Shines in Seattle,
Thank your for gleaming through my living room window at such an angle that the dust hidden on gloomy days is now visible. I appreciate a reminder to clean once in a while and the need not to the rest of the time.
Love,
Sarah
Dear Mother-in-law,
Thanks for making my girlfriend so hot. It almost makes up for you being such a bitch.
XO,
Bren
VOTE ^
i second that
Love it!
that’s a winner! XD
Dear Mud Covered River Rock,
Thank you for causing me to fall and embarrass myself. Now I get little kisses on my knee all the time.
Love,
Baier
Dear Facebook,
Thanks for making me think I have a lot of friends.
Love, Grace
Dear vampire Weekend:
Thank you form making your two albums filled with songs that make me dance nonstop, you are my favorite band to play and dance around the house naked!
OOXX (hug hug, kiss kiss)
P.
Dear Person who painted the portaloo down the road to look like the TARDIS,
I don’t know who you are but it made me smile all day. I love that the people in our city have kept their sense of humour even though there are still suburbs without proper sewage and so much of the city was terribly damaged by the earthquake.
Love
A fellow resident of Christchurch
Dear Third World,
Thanks for reminding me I don’t need half the shit I have. It’s really refreshing. And it’s also nice to know other people wear the same thing every day.
Until soon,
Laurenne
Dear letter from the girl I love,
Thank you for getting here just in time for my 19th birthday. I already know that reading you will be the best present of the day.
Warmest regards,
Thea
Dear Intern Bren (member) and Grace M,
Thank you for leaving your witty thank you notes here in these comments and making me surrender to the fact that I won’t win this contest, after all.
You’ve given me permission to be a quitter and not feel too guilty about it.
Love,
Cath
Thanks Mobile Phone for making it easy to ring my wife when this morning I accidentally dropped my keys in the back of the car with the dog and watched in horror as he stepped on them, locking himself and the keys inside the car and me on the outside. Sheeesh!
Dear Best Friend and Her Dog,
Thanks for leaving me with your chick magnet of a dog while you got coffee today. Many a cute girl stopped to say hello,
Love,
Whitney
Dear Autostraddle,
Thanks for letting me know I can wear boys’ undies. Now I am forever wedgie-free and have fun waistbands.
Love,
Kat
Ocean,
Thanks.
Thanks,
diver
Dear Summer,
Thanks for giving me the time to relax and remember that there are so many things in life to love.
Live is better than I ever thought it would be,
Mia
Dear John W. Hetrick,
First of all, sorry about getting in the car with a drunk driver. I was a bad girl that night, won’t happen again. My apologies to the 105 freeway as well.
But I just want to take a moment to thank you profusely for inventing airbags, they literally saved my life and for that I will be eternally grateful to you,
Cheers,
C.
Dear pickles,
Thank you for being there for me when I’m having stereotypical pregnant lady cravings, and thanks for keeping our love a secret (until someone opens the fridge and see how empty your jar is).
Thanks,
Annie
Dear new apartment,
Thank you for being the nicest place I’ve ever called home and reminding me at every turn that she and I live here together.
Love,
D.
^Too Cute <3
Dear African Dance Class,
Thanks for teaching a gawky 14 year old from the suburbs that she is, in fact, an awkward white girl. The video my mother took of the final performance serves as a constant reminder. This lesson has served me well. Thanks for also removing all sense of shame I once had. This too has served me well.
Fondly,
Kirsten
Querida Mamá de Leah,
Gracias por permitirle a su hija ser amiga de Paty, para que luego ella viniera a Mexico a visitarla y yo pudiera conocerla. Ah, y gracias por enseñarle a hacer notitas de agradecimiento.
Muchos Saludos.
Marcos
Dear trees,
Thank you for recycling the mass amounts of carbon dioxide society has pumped into the atmosphere. You literally keep me breathing.
Your friend,
Diana
dear soap:
thank you for smelling yummy, for not getting in my eyes for your goat-milkiness, for slickeriness, for letting me catch you and feel like a hardass. i could be an athlete, the way i caught that soap. soap, with your help, not only am i always ready for the girl who wants to sniff the nape of my neck, but you make me feel like a professional sports player person. you and i know, really, i can’t run, and i can’t catch anything thrown at me, but i can catch something i almost drop. ok so i didn’t really catch you. you let me think i did. thank you soap, for making me feel like a cool person. same time tomorrow, ok?
love and bubbles,
melanie
Dear Internet,
Thanks for letting me keep in touch with people I miss yet still allowing me to maintain my hermit-like-stay-at-home lifestyle.
You Rock My Virtual World!
~A
Dear nephews, ages 2 and not-yet-1,
You are my models for living, thanks. You do not believe in or have awareness of religion, money, or government. One time, one of you threw a knife across the kitchen, totally without malice, that was awesome.
Thanks,
poopybutt
Dear Katherine Brooks (And all of Face 2 Face)
Thank you for being there when no one else is, thank you for always encouraging me to be myself. Thank you for creating a wonderful community of beautiful, loving people, and thank you for opening the world up beyond my usual tightly-closed space. I will always remember that you taught me to meditate and calm down.
Love, Kate
To the hair on my head,
Thank you for finally giving in and cooperating with me. You are currently in the best and prettiest condition you’ve ever been in. Hopefully, this relationship will blossom into something even more beautiful.
Much love,
Zee
Dear kids,
(not really kids anymore at 23 and 21, but you’re still and forever MY kids) Thank you for not just accepting, but for being proud of your butch dyke mom. The love you have for me protects my soul from all the homophobia and butchphobia the world offers up.
that’s awesome
Dear Pal,
Thank you for reminding me every day that, even though you love me unconditionally, you still get to choose where you sleep — you keep me grateful when you bring your furry doggy body up onto the bed.
Your loving mama.
Dear Singledom,
Thanks for allowing me to buy concert tickets at face value even days after they go on sale because the stupid scalpers mostly get them in pairs, leaving the odd but really great seat available.
Forever alone,
cancellous
ps. SUCK IT, STUBHUB!
^amen
Dear dog that pees on my floor,
Thank you for reminding me that we should spend more time outside!
Dear Autostraddle and Leah Dieterich:
Thank you for the autographed book! You’re really too kind.
-LS
Dear Getting Off Prozac,
Thank you so much for making me realize I’m really not crazy and pointing out that my mood swings only happen when I’m around my mother. I’m so grateful that I and ending our relationship and don’t have to rely on you anymore!
Yours Truly,
Ashley
Dear Autostraddle,
Thanks for providing me with a home away from my broken home where I can embrace all things lesbian <3
I kiss girls, it's awesome.
Love,
Christi
Dear gay nod,
Thanks for the heads up.
Love,
Alyssa
^ Vote. So much win.
Dear Kat,
Thanks for the neat pun,
A
Dear A,
Thanks for the credit.
-A different A
Dear bangs that haven’t been trimmed in months,
Thanks for forcing me to embrace new hairstyles. I needed to be forced out of my comfort zone.
Cheers,
Breanna
Dear slugs.
Thank you for reminding me that my garden is an ecosystem, and that food production takes love and commitment. You have provided me with such an excellent learning experience: If you hadn’t made your home amongst the teeny tender pea shoots and radish tops, I would never have known that you guys are hermaphrodites, or that you chew your penises off after mating.
That’s pretty bad-ass.
yours respectfully,
enn.
Dear Captain Jack Sparrow,
Thank you for affirming my inner pirate…and for reminding me to keep an eye on the horizon.
Cheers, mate!
-Leah
Dear Leah,
Thank you for reminding me that I need to watch Pirates of the Caribbean right the fuck now.
— Catriona
Dear swimming,
Thank you for giving me something to do and helping me get my life back on track. You helped me fight depression and were an important role in my acceptance of myself and the lesbian I have become.
I don’t know what would have happened if we never met and hope we never lose each other.
Love you lots,
Kayden
Dear neurodiversity,
Thank you for making me really good at breaking down a situation and processing, and for making me super comfortable with verbal communication to compensate for my lack of non-verbal. You helped me be a good friend today. Dear depression/childhood-trauma, thanks for making me fucked up enough that I can empathize and offer actionable advice.
-nomi
Dear first name,
Thank you for being strange. You have, on many occasions, made a good enough conversation topic for small talk.
love,
Dee
Dear Dissertation Fieldwork,
Thank you for sending me to the other side of the country and making me wait three months before I can come home and my girl and I can move into our own apartment.
It’s making me appreciate her even more (which I didn’t know was possible).
Love,
Destiny
Nathan and Daniel,
My month-old, premature nephews: thank you for being determined to be born, despite being 14 weeks early. Thanks for being tiny, scrawny fighters and for making such great progress. Thanks for making me so curious about who you’re going to be and blowing my mind with the wonder of you both. More than anything, thank you for what you’re giving to your mum and dad, to all our family, without even knowing it. You are awesome in every sense of the word. Thank you.
Get big soon! Lots of love,
your Auntie J xx
^vote
Dear Theatre 101,
Thank you for being 100% internally assessed. I might pass Law now.
Love,
Cassandra
Dear Corridor Outside My Room Which Smells Of Vomit,
Thank you for holding on to that smell the entire year I’ve lived here. It’s really made me appreciate fresh air, and forced me to leave the safety of my flat to avoid gagging many more times than I would have done otherwise.
Love,
Ellen
I just wrote fourteen of these in a row. (Fifteen, if you count “Thanks Autostraddle and Leah. I had no idea how much I had to be thankful for.”) I think I could write these forever. Maybe I will.
——
Dear E,
Thank you for being the only other queer girl I know in real life. You are the only person who has never made me feel like a freak, for that reason and many others, and I don’t know if you know how important and awesome that is. I cherish every moment our lives intersect.
Dear strangers who smile back
thankyou for not being scared to share a moment with someone you have never met.
alex
I really like this.
Dear cats,
Thanks for not killing me in my sleep. I know you’re thinking about it (especially you, Zaphod) but I’m really glad you haven’t gone through with it. Yet.
Love,
Dina
i love you for naming your cat zaphod.
i feel like i should propose now.
Dear Julia Roberts
Thank-you for being my second movie star crush. Angelina Jolie is universal, so I wasn’t quite sure.
Love,
A.
Dear Deers,
Thanks for making up for eating FUCKING EVERYTHING I try to plant by bringing your kids into my garden and making me feel like I’m watching Bambi but out the window.
Love,
Natalie
^Like
Dear eyebuydirect dot com,
Thank you for selling cute prescription glasses that I can actually afford. Now I can see all the cute girls walking by on the street and, relatedly, my gaydar has drastically improved.
Tip of my hat,
Kaitie
Dear hair,
Thank you for sticking up in all directions every morning after I wake up. It’s nice to have an excuse to start the day off laughing at myself.
Never change,
miea
Dear Mucinex,
Thank you for allowing me to breathe and not feel like my throat is dying and on fire all the time. I wish my brain didn’t feel drained and zapped, but that might not be your fault.
Ever yours,
kakapo
Dear Gap square cut boxer briefs,
Thank you for making my already pretty good ass look like a million bucks. You are a necessity for my evolving boyish style.
GSCBB, you may not understand how my identity is wrapped up in my undies…but when I wear you, I feel like I can take over the world, like no one can stop me, and like I’m the hottest boi in the room. This is why I love you.
Say hi to your Banana Republic cousins for me, I love them too (but secretly, you are my favorite. Don’t tell them.)
Love,
(baby butch) Marika
Dear Thunderstorm:
Thank you for blocking out the sun today. Now everyone can understand how it feels to live in my basement apartment. And I won’t get a sunburn.
Thanks,
Ruby
Dear Voice,
Thank you for being the one thing that I can be really proud of, and the one thing that I don’t have to share with anyone. Thank you for letting me sing, even if it is only to myself in the shower.
Love always,
F
Dear Law School,
Thank you for:
1. Helping me realize and humbly engage my economic and skin privilege more than college activism and do-gooder jobs ever did;
2. Letting me know that I’m pretty Type A after all, and that’s okay;
3. Honing my list-making skills. Bullet-points kick ass.
Yours,
Erica
Dear Canada:
Thank you for the life I once had and finding some peace about self.
Love,
Cindy
This is all so lovely, you guys!!!!!
Dear unseasonable rain,
Thank you for helping me sleep late today, and thank you for giving me an excuse to skip the barbeque this afternoon if I end up wanting to.
-nomi
Dear girlfriend,
Thanks for reminding me what being happy is supposed to feel like.
Dear Religious, Straight-Laced Dad,
Thank you for not letting the fact that I’m gay change our relationship. When I came out, I thought it would never be the same.
So when you dropped the word ‘PFLAG’ and told me that you wanted to evolve along with me, I almost cried in the middle of the restaurant.
Love,
Your Very Lucky Daughter
Dear Rehearsal-
Thank you for kicking my ass. I love you in all your forms. Alone in the practise room, figuring out the coloratura passages. With other people in choruses, making the 9-8 suspension as lovely and crunchy as possible. At home in my musical mind, running through that last bit of Poulenc or Schnittke or Tallis. You are the real music making. Performing is just letting people in on our time together, Rehearsal.
Devotedly,
Mo
P.S. I would love you even more if you helped me meet a nice Jewish girl.
Dear Lady G,
Thank you for inspiring me to follow my dreams. Without your inspirational words I wouldn’t have had the extra push. I may never meet you or be able to thank you personally but somehow I think you know what you do for others.
Thank you,
Steph
Meeee toooo.
Dear Glitter,
Thank you for making everything better, shinier, and happier. I don’t think my girlfriend is actually jealous when she calls you my other girlfriend because she loves you, too.
Much love,
Diana
aww, polyamory. :)
Dear innerlesbianrage,
Thank you for being my compass, although some times irrational, and allowing me to rise above all things in angelic, queer glory. When I think about what I would be like, mind and soul, I get really sad–with the sudden urge to stab things–but then you swoop in, hand me a Tegan & Sara mixtape, a stack of homosexy literature and a vibrator.
Thank you,
Emily
Dear Jet,
Thank you for being the most complicated and emotionally distant person I’ve ever met. If it wasn’t for your craziness I wouldn’t be so sane.
With all my love,
Christine
Dear ancient Mayan people,
Thank you for using the cacao bean and discovering what would undoubtedly become the most deliciously comforting food item ever in the history of everything: Chocolate. Without you, break-ups, Easter and other holidays, my period, children’s parties, bus rides, waiting in offices, all of winter, and pretty much life would be intolerable. Thank you for your genius.
~Chacha
p.s. Kudos on your calendrical system, it’s pretty neat that everyone is freaking out over it :)
Dear Couch,
Thank you. You’re the only place I belong. With my girl. And dog.
JB
Dear crazy Florida heat,
Thank you for making it possible for my to rock shorts and flip flops all year around. ALSO, no snow.
Love you mucho,
Ash
I already posted one, but…
Dear anyone who has ever called a crisis hot line,
Thank you for being brave and reaching out. Thank you for being brave enough to share your feelings with a stranger. Thank you for doing what you have to in order to keep yourself safe and sane. Thank you for letting us just sit in that moment with you. We love just having the opportunity to help.
<3 The people who pick up the phone
Dear Air,
I am unspeakably grateful for how smooth and easy you are.
Nothing at all like breathing water.
Stay breezy!
-Aim
Dear Autostraddle,
Thank you for existing.
-Heather
Dear sudden light that was on when I came home,
Thank you for not being a killer, or a burglar coming to rape me. Thank you for having my heart on the edge when it was a false alarm rather than a real one.
Love,
paranoia still tweaking at every sound
Dear Stranger,
Thank you for existing. The world would not be the same without you.
-J
Dear Softball,
Thank you for allowing my to be around many sexy ladies with sexy arms wearing sexy pants doing sexy things. And thanks for introducing me to my first queer friend, who knew I was gay before I did.
Although I remain a tiny bit turned off by your emphasis on balls.
-Kelsey
Dear Work,
Thank you for kicking my ass and taking up all my time reminding me I really need to do something else with my life. I really appreciate the insurance too.
Love,
Jen
dear me,
thank you for finally accepting yourself. it’s getting easier now that you’ve allowed you to do you.
love,
me
Dear Gaia,
Thank you for the natural beauty of diversity.
for golden sunlight chasing grey cloud shadows across green hills,
for Ocean reflecting sky: grey and bright blue and piercing silver
for breezes in summer
for fire and fur in winter
for female, for male,
for queer and for straight,
for dark and for bleached,
for the cultures we create
for loving partners:
pale and lithe, muscular, he
soft and weighty, darkly luscious, she
for shared purpose in the light,
warm kisses in the night,
transcendent peace, wrapped in cotton,
silk of skin to skin to skin
Love.
Dear Photo Albums,
Thank you for reminding me to learn from the past, but to live in the present, for reminding me to never live my life behind a mask- to smile, frown, or goof off when I feel like it. And thank you for reminding me to never again try out that Jew-fro.
Forever yours,
Shayna Maci
Dear Manual Transmissions,
Thank you for making women’s hands look so damn sexy when they casually rest on the gear-change knob at a red light, waiting to shift into first.
Love,
dcstraddler
Dear Gin,
Thank you for looking inconspicuously like water on my work desk.
Yours,
Mari
Dear alarm clock,
Thank you for waking me up at 5:59 every weekday morning. Even though I hate the sound of you and sometimes mumble various swear words at you when you go off, I greatly appreciate all that you do. Without you, I would sleep my life away.
Love/Hate,
Diana
Dear Dr Pepper lip balm
thank you for keeping my lips soft and tasty no matter what, and to help my insane cravings when i’m trying to cut back on soda. one day, we will use our combined powers to get chicks. no one can resist us :)
love, Jen
Dear Dad,
Thank you for all the work you did planting that beautiful garden. This is the first spring you are not here and every Iris, Poppy, Rose, Tulip and Lily feels like a little wink and nod from you.
Love you,
Emma
Dear roller derby,
Thank you for reminding me that, as much as I am feminine, I have a beast inside me. I am powerful, I am strong, I am bad ass and I am all woman. Your bruises remind me that growth hurts and is so worth it.
Yours,
Hell’s Melle
Dear Body,
I know that you and I don’t always get along. I’ve spent a lot of time ignoring you and pretending you weren’t there. I’ve neglected, abused and broken you and I’m sorry for that.
But body, I want to thank you because even through my short comings and my inability to fill you with the life that you deserve you’ve stayed strong and healthy. I am so grateful for you, body, every scar and scrape and bump and hair.
You are amazing. You are beautiful!
Chrissie Riot
Dear Grass,
Thank you for letting me play my guitar on you. It seems to be the best way to attract the alternative-lifestyle-haircut-hot-ladies.
Love,
Bri
Dear Baby Robins Who Lived In the Nest On The Windowsill and Who, As Of Yesterday, Have Completely Disappeared,
I watched you guys grow up from nada to teal eggs to chirpy/hungry little chicks over the past few weeks, but now you’re gone. I checked the ground below for carcasses, but there are none. Either you were eaten whole by a bird of prey or, as I hope, spread those downy little wings and made that most difficult of flights.
Thanks for providing some mysterious conversation fodder for me and my coworkers, and for once again proving that real life isn’t like the movies—sometimes you don’t get that no-loose-ends resolution to the plot. It’s good to accept that sort of thing, I think.
Hope all’s well,
Aaron