Ah, the classic monster movies released by Universal Pictures in the early days of Hollywood cinema. There have been many versions of these tales, but nothing quite matches the original Dracula, The Invisible Man, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, The Mummy, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon. Well, except maybe their female counterparts.

That’s right. Decades before lady Ghostbusters, Hollywood was already doing girl versions of their biggest hits. But instead of decrying woke culture, the patriarchy just demanded the girl versions be HOT. And, hey, that’s the kind of closed-mindedness I can get behind. The exceptions being no Wolf Woman, because Hollywood couldn’t conceptualize female body hair and The Creature, but I choose to believe she was already a girl (or at least a lesbian).

But which of these classic monsters should be your lesbian lover? The Mummy of Ananka who only looks like a mummy for one scene before emerging from the water with a full face of make up? Dracula’s daughter Countess Marya Zaleska who took all the right lessons from her father? Kitty Carroll who uses her invisible woman powers for good instead of evil? The bride of Frankenstein who has no interest in her planned mate but might be into you instead? Or everyone’s favorite gilled goddess from a lagoon? Take this quiz to find out!

Which Classic Movie Monster Should Be Your Lesbian Lover?

Are you looking for a top or a bottom?(Required)
Which of these old Hollywood actresses do you most want to be(Required)
Which of these old Hollywood actresses do you most want to be with(Required)
Which is your favorite of these Halloween candies?(Required)
What’s your favorite romance trope?(Required)
Pick a recent horror movie:(Required)
Pick a recent horror book:(Required)
Where do you want to go on a romantic getaway?(Required)
Which of these songs is mostly like to be your couple song?(Required)
What is your ideal relationship with your in-laws?(Required)
What crime are you most likely to commit?(Required)
Who is your favorite MALE classic movie monster?(Required)

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