Quiz: Which Chaotic Gay Pop Song Is Your Last Breakup’s Anthem?

Unhinged breakup anthems almost seem like their own specific subgenre within the subgenre of sapphic pop right now, with a lot of the young gay pop stars of this moment performing a certain ex persona that leans into mess. Fletcher is definitely an obvious example of this messy ex persona, but we’ve also got Zolita entering the chat and Chappell Roan directly addressing her ex at Coachella.

A lot of the song results featured in this quiz are of the angry and vengeful variety, so if you came here for genuine catharsis or breakup advice, you might want to look elsewhere! Here, we’re leaning into the chaos, the mess, the karma, the lightly toxic tendencies that breakups can sometimes inspire. We’re also just messing around, so don’t take any results too personally babe. Maybe just throw on some angry breakup songs and scream-sing along for a bit of a release.

Which Chaotic Gay Pop Song Is Your Last Breakup’s Anthem?

Which of the following is closest to the reason for your last bad breakup?(Required)
What’s closest to your breakup style?(Required)
Pick a “straight” song as your breakup anthem:(Required)
Pick a breakup coping mechanism:(Required)
Which character from the L Word universe would you LEAST want to have as an ex?(Required)
What are your philosophies on friendships with exes?(Required)
Which of the following situations sounds the most uncomfortable to you?(Required)
Revenge is…(Required)
Let’s get spicy. Pick a pepper:(Required)
What’s one of your perhaps lightly toxic or just not so great post-breakup behaviors — BE HONEST!!!!!(Required)
Time to quench our thirst. Pick a flavor of kombucha:(Required)
What word best describes your last bad breakup?(Required)
Pick a midnight snack:(Required)
Time to make an impulsive post-breakup change. What are you changing?(Required)

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 885 articles for us.

4 Comments

  2. It’s really annoying as a reader and a blog owner to have a conversation going — only to have someone come in and ask the same question that has been asked five comments ago, because the writer didn’t read all of the comments. Make sure you’re a part of the conversation, not just a drive-by commenter.

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