Feature image by timsa via Getty Images
A new year is almost upon us! That means it’s time to declare what’s in and out for 2024. This list is 100% scientific and objective and I’m sure everyone will agree with me on everything, but, okay, fine, it’s also just my “opinion” or whatever and all complaints should be sent to me directly, etc. etc.
Let’s get into it!
IN
- Birds
- Blogs
- Cute little trinkets
- Daily dessert
- Dinner parties
- Eggplant
- Ethical consumption under capitalism
- Ethical Non-Monogamy (the action)
- Going to the sea when ill or tired
- Jigsaw puzzles
- Judgment-free hookups with new queers still figuring shit out
- Lost causes
- Novellas
- Overdressing for events
- Physical media
- Selfies
- Sex scenes
- Shoplifting
- Tipping 30%
- Unconventional sandwiches
- Waffles
- Working on local campaigns
OUT
- Arugula
- Delivery apps
- Ethical Non-Monogamy (the phrase)
- Follow-up emails
- French toast
- Generation wars
- Horror movies about trauma
- Minimalism
- Saying “I’m an abolitionist but (insert very not abolitionist desire)”
- Self-important media that critiques rich people
- Sex scene discourse
- Soft launching
- Subscribing to a dozen streaming services
- Superhero movies
- Therapy speak
- True crime
- Twitter alternatives
- Using they/them pronouns for trans women who use she/her
- Venmo requests
- Voting for the presidency*
*My own actions/beliefs aside I do think the 2024 U.S. presidential election is going to have a very low turnout. But, of course, it’s up to every individual able to vote to decide whether or not they want to and I do acknowledge the stakes are higher for people who live in swing states. Personally, I can acknowledge that another four years of Trump would be worse than another four years of Biden while at the same time struggling to justify voting for a politician who so brazenly supports a genocide against Palestinians — among other failures. I don’t know how we change the system and our world if we continue to have our votes taken for granted by a Democratic party who doesn’t care about our beliefs or our lives or human life in general. At the same time, I understand there’s a practical limit to a protest vote in a presidential election. Mostly what I hope for in 2024 is a de-centering of the U.S. presidential election from our political discussion and an understanding that whether Trump or Biden is president there will be so much work to do to take care of each other domestically and abroad. The United States is an evil empire and always has been regardless of our figurehead. It’s absurd with nearly a year left before the election, we already know our options and that our options are this. I understand making the pragmatic choice in this election. I also understand if you can’t bring yourself to do that. I just hope cynicism is out for 2024, because we have to keep fighting for the improbable possibility of a better world.
IN: footnotes
Lmao YES
to read this after i just talked about returning to owning physical copies of movies makes me feel justified in my beliefs.
**french toast is always in. but you’re entitled to your wrong opinion!
Hahaha ya know I feel least strong about that one. I think my feeling was bougie brunch restaurants were gonna pivot away from French toast toward waffles but AT HOME French toast is still in.
I’ve always been pancakes over French toast. I would like to acquire a waffle maker and become a Waffle Queen. Only at home, though. Brunch is for pancakes. I’m actually an omelette gal, but if I’m going the sweet route, Pancakes. Preferably from Clinton St Baking Company on the Lower East Side. For dinner (when you can make a reservation and not wait 3 hours). In February (pancake month).
I forced myself to reread that footnote four times to ensure that my anger was justified.
This silly lil list and its wildly anti-democratic DFW-esque footnote displays THE MOST cynicism. Call me a shill for democracy, but when you start promoting apathy towards voting on a platform that has influence over young voters..ooof. What do we call that? Being a shill for the loss of rights? Shilling for cynicism?
There are more than two parties, sis. You can vote for anyone. Even if you call it “throwing a vote”, you’re voting. Vote.
Also, quick run down on how the federal budget works/is allocated: a portion of your salary is taken from you, and me, and nearly all working Americans every year. Then the executive branch (the president) drafts up a budget based on requests from every single federal agency and initiative and the availability of those monies (our monies). Then Congress decides via debate and voting which programs it wants to fund, and then ultimately the president decides where all that money goes via the power of the veto.
The president may be a figurehead, but the political agenda behind each of those potential figureheads is drastically different w/r/t where they want to put your money, my money, and your readerships’ money. Whether social security, the postal service, the national parks, the EPA, and the enforcement of centuries of acts of legislation (laws) which protect citizens get funded depends on the sitting president.
If you really want to protest support for a war you don’t agree with, you can always stop paying taxes and deal with the legalities of conscientious objection to military taxation…or, you can vote for a candidate that has the same views as you. But please, for the love of democracy, don’t suggest to your readership that presidential voting is meaningless by putting it on a list of things that are OUT. Find another way to deal with your internal cynicism, please.
I agree with you, I think it’s really irresponsible for Autostraddle to be talking about not voting.
you can pry my superhero movies from my cold alive fingers!!!
here for blogs and jigsaw puzzles though!
You’ll have to keep me posted on which ones are worth watching because looking at the slate I don’t feel optimistic!
that is…very fair haha
So many references to capitalism but failure to recognize tipping was originally a racist and classist practice. Putting pressure on chain establishments to offer fair wages and insurance would be more effective, paulo freire acknowledges the fallacy in the average person handing out money in our quest to end exploitation and oppresion. But yes lets depend on the consumer to make up for capitalism’s short falls. And then call it mutual aid 🙄
What’s wrong with critiquing rich people ?
In: reporting on celebs who say the wrong thing in a convo
Out: reporting on the systematic genital mutilation, torture, and rape of women and girls if they have grown up in a particular country
(https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/28/world/middleeast/oct-7-attacks-hamas-israel-sexual-violence.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare)
so true for AS- it’s metoo unless you’re a Jew, and Black Lives Matter unless you’re a Pregnant Black Ethiopian Israeli stabbed in the stomach by Hamas. In Gaza the word for us Black Women is “abeed” which translates to slave. Can we talk about systemic arab racism? About African slavery by Islamic States that exist today?! Or no….privileged white and privileged western Black Queers who know nothing of our true existence in the middle east.
Please do some reading outside of American Ashkenazim self righteous western centric discourse
it honestly infuriates me
Gotta say, I would love a listicle of phrases to correct people using they/them for she/her using trans women, the broken record approach gets dull.
Remember: there are more than 2 choices!
Voting the message of “god anyone but these two, and I am willing to go to the polls and I am an engaged constituent” is a much more powerful message than just not showing up to the polls!
Vote third party if you don’t want to vote for the main two!!
Ok, I always found “ethical non-monogamy” wanky in the extreme, but what’s the replacement? I normally say “non-monogamous”, but I find it can have a connotation of “fucking all over town”. No shade at all on anyone who does that, but it’d be nice to not have that implication.
As for “polyamory”, ptui, no thanks.