My wife and I are the kind of dykes who know how to plan the hell out of a good beach day. We live in Florida, after all. So the beach chairs and umbrella stay locked and loaded in our trunk. Sometimes we even keep spare suits in there just in case. And I can fit what should be a physically impossible amount of snacks and beverages into my small cooler backpack. I think the way a person approaches a gay beach day reveals a lot about them, so take this quiz and “plan a beach day” and I’ll tell you what lesbian beach gear you best embody.
What Lesbian Beach Gear Are You?
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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya
Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, fiction, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the former managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear in McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, The Rumpus, Cake Zine, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The AV Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. When she is not writing, editing, or reading, she is probably playing tennis. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.
Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya has written 1101 articles for us.
Comments
Love that I’m the beach umbrella, and the description is accurate but missing a key factor… I do throw some shade 🕶️⛱️
Beach birks! This is especially true because if the particular beach allows it, my first activity of choice would be checking out the tidepools and rocks near the waterline to see what kinds of neat little animals are in and on them. Non-slippery shoes are key.
Rainbow umbrella! Being the potluck star of my friend group supports this
Beach Birks? Absolutely not! I cannot abide any sandal that lacks a heel strap, and I cannot abide a beach sandal that isn’t as happy as I am to be fully immersed in the water. My delicate feets require protection from any and all rocks, and my apartment requires beach footwear that can be hosed off.
Furthermore more, the correct answer to the soundtrack question is “no music, because we are here to enjoy each other’s company, which includes being able to hear conversation, and we are also here to enjoy being in nature and hear the sound of the waves”.
Thank you for the fun quiz :)