Quiz: What Diner From Pop Culture Are You?

The bells jingle as you walk into your favorite diner. A waitress looks up from where she’s rolling silverware at the counter. “Hey, hon,” she says. “Take a seat anywhere you’d like.”(Required)

You look around for a table big enough to fit the whole gang

You drop a quarter in the jukebox on your way to the counter

You glare at the out of towners daring to sit at YOUR regular table

You sigh as you eye the tacky decor and cheap furniture — oh, how your life has changed!

You slide into the far corner of a booth, hoping the waitress won’t tousle your hair like she always does

Your walk past the slot car racetrack and head for the booth built into the Chrysler

You beeline for the table under the neon sign blinking DINER

You head straight for table eight; there’s a rumor that Elizabeth Warren sat there on the campaign trail!

Your classic diner memories:(Required)

Are all about love

Are filled with intrigue

Feel as comfy as your living room sofa

Help you not to think too hard about the past

Are getting breakfast before work with your best friends

Are all about committing to the bit

Involve a lot of scheming

Are filled with gal pals

You recognize the waitress — you’ve seen her here before. She walks over with the coffee pot. “Want some?”(Required)

“Oh, no thanks. Can I have a cherry Coke?”

“Yeah, I need something to run my finger ‘round the rim of.”

“A gallon. A tankard. A tanker. Fill me up!”

“A double espresso, if you would be so kind.”

“Just a diet Coke, thanks.”

“Can I skip the middleman and get a shot of pure adrenaline?”

“I’m old enough to open a speakeasy, but am I old enough to drink coffee?”

“A hot chocolate for me. Enthusiasm is nature’s caffeine!”

You like your small towns with a side of:(Required)

After checking on a couple of other tables, she wanders over with her pad. “What’ll it be?”(Required)

How do you like your eggs?(Required)

Over easy

Scrambled

Made into French toast

I prefer an egg white omelet

I’m always too hungover for eggs

Poached

With a side of extra crispy bacon

Forget the eggs! I just need waffles.

What are your go-to diner potatoes?(Required)

French fries

Wedges

Tater tots

Could you do, like, a sweet little smoothie for me instead?

Sweet potato fries

Curly fries

Hash browns

Home fries

What literary food makes your mouth water?(Required)

Pickled limes from Little Women

Enormous pancakes from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Breakfast, Second Breakfast, and Elevenses, from The Hobbit

Anything from an Alice Waters cookbook, as long as I don’t have to cook it myself

Chicken Soup With Rice, by Maurice Sendak

Cold fried chicken and two bottles of ale from The Great Gatsby

Turkish Delight from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Marilla’s raspberry cordial from Anne of Green Gables

Choose your favorite diner slang:(Required)

“Adam and Eve on a raft”

“Hot blond in sand”

“Put wheels on it”

“Rabbit food”

“A Jayne Mansfield”

“Eve with a lid”

“Make it cry”

“Take a chance”

Choose a color palette:(Required)

The diner goes quiet. The last person’s jukebox choices finally ran out! You grab a quarter and choose a song:(Required)

I Only Have Eyes for You, The Flamingos

She Drives Me Crazy, The Fine Young Cannibals

99 Luftballoons, Nena

Simply the Best, Tina Turner

Let’s Hear It For the Boy, Katty B.

Son of a Preacher Man, Dusty Springfield

Mad World, Tears for Fears

Everything is Awesome, Tegan and Sara

You’ve finished your meal! As you get ready to head out the door, you count up your cash and do the math. You always leave:(Required)

A 25% tip and a sweet smile for the waitress

A 25% tip and a dazed expression

A 25% tip and a witty parting shot

A 25% tip and a verbal suggestion for the suggestion box

A 25% tip and a “see you at home, ma”

A 25% tip and some drugs you got in the bathroom

A 25% tip and a murderous, incomprehensible idea for how to save the town

A 25% tip and a to-do list

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