Top 15 TV Mommies I Want To Be (With)

Pictures of the Autostraddle senior editor team are collaged in colors of cobalt and orange with the words "Happy Birthday Autostraddle" and the number 15 strewed all over for Autostraddle's 15th birthday

Autostraddle is turning 15 this week! To celebrate, we’re publishing chaotic and gay Top 15 Lists all week long.


Some of you might know that I have a complicated relationship with hot moms in media. More specifically, I both love them AND want to be them. Actually, maybe that’s not so complicated??

Anyway, in honor of Autostraddle’s 15th birthday, I decided to put together a list of the TV mommies I both want to be and be with!!

A few disclaimers, since I KNOW there’s going to be some controversy here —

  1. This list is not in order.* Frankly, that’s an impossible task!
  2. If your favorite hot mom is not in this list, I’m sorry! I could only include 15 and there are so many hot moms on TV!

(*Except for Gigi Ghorbani, who belongs at the top.)

15. Space Beth, Rick and Morty

Space Beth with one hand on her hip glaring at the camera.

Space Beth is for SURE the cooler of the two main Beth characters. With her shaved head, eyebrow piercing, and techwear outfits … I’m into it. Plus, she probably has great stamina from all the space fighting she does.

14. Vanessa “Van” Kiefer, Atlanta

Van staring into a martini glass, smiling.

She’s stunning! Look at that smile. And she speaks German! We could move to Berlin and start a new life together.

13. Susan Bunch, Friends

The lesbian wedding episode of Friends

I watched all of Friends last year (don’t ask, we all make mistakes) and my biggest takeaway was that they did lesbians so dirty on that show! Rude, honestly! Susan’s a femme top with a little sprinkle of crunchy, and I could see us finding a way to compete with the other members of a lamaze class (we’d win).

12. Claire Dunphy, Modern Family

Claire Dunphy pouring a bottle of wine into her wine glass. She's looking down at the glass.

Claire isn’t canonically bisexual, but her energy absolutely is!

11. Nalini Vishwakumar, Never Have I Ever

Nalini smiling in a tan blazer over a white cowl neck shirt.

She’s a dermatologist, which means I’d get free cosmetic derm treatments. That’s how it works if you date a doctor, right? Plus she’s tall, which means I’d have someone to reach the top shelf (important). The only downside here is that she’s a little mean but honestly… I’m a little mean too.

10. Rainbow Johnson, Black-ish

Rainbow looking at someone off screen. She is wearing a red, green, and blue shirt.

Another tall doctor! This time, with impeccable style. I’d probably borrow all of her clothes and sneak into the ER to watch her do surgery.

9. Moira Rose, Schitt’s Creek

Moira Rose in bed with an eye mask pushed up like a headband. She's looking at some papers.

Moira’s accent is 80% of the reason she’s on this list. I’d be perfectly content to listen to her talk all day in her almost-mid-Atlantic accent. Realistically, we’d probably have to move into a larger apartment to accommodate her wig collection.

8. Selina Meyer, Veep

Selena Meyer answers a phone

She’s kind of insufferable, but I think that’s part of the charm. Plus if she’s the VP, I bet that would mean I could use the bowling alley in the White House.

7. Chessy, The Parent Trap (1998)*

Chessy with her arms across her chest, wearing a blue shirt and khaki pants.

Yes, okay, technically Chessy is neither a TV character nor a mom, but she does act as a mother figure! I just wanted to include her because she’s a queer style icon and also, I love her.

6. Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls

Lorelai smiling at Luke.

Another messy mom! I’d be down to co-own her inn and turn it into a lesbian paradise in New England.

5. Bette Porter, The L Word

Bette looking incredulously across the room

I don’t know how to figure out how many words were written about Bette Porter in these past fifteen years of Autostraddle’s existence, but I’m willing to bet that the number is quite high!

4. Morticia Addams, The Addams Family

Morticia Addams wearing black. Her hands are by her shoulders.

She’s a polyglot witch with a pet carnivorous plant. Of course I want to date her.

3. Fran Fine, The Nanny

Fran Fine dressed in a green and red vest talking to Niles, the butler.

She’s got killer style. I guess this could just be because the 90s are back.

2. Shannon Glaser, Big Mouth

Shannon laughing and holding hands with Pastor Dina.

When she’s not grumpy, she seems like she’d be a good time!

1. Gigi Ghorbani, The L Word: Generation Q

Gigi Ghorbani drinks from a wine glass

Like I said, Gigi is at the top of this list for a reason. She’s the hot mom that inspired all of this!! She’s sultry, chaotic, and a realtor. I bet she could find us a gorgeous one-bedroom with southern exposures so all our plants could thrive. Sure, she’s a little messy, but that’s part of her charm.


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ashni

Ashni is a writer, comedian, and farmer's market enthusiast. When they're not writing, they can be found soaking up the sun, trying to make a container garden happen, or reading queer YA.

ashni has written 52 articles for us.

5 Comments

  1. Gigi is the hottest character of all time so no surprises here. I would personally put Alicent from HOTD in this list too. Also,is there going to be March Madness this year?

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