Top 15 Black Actresses Over 50 Who I Think Should Play Gay (Again)

Autostraddle is turning 15 this week! To celebrate, we’re publishing chaotic and gay Top 15 Lists all week long.

When we started planning Autostraddle’s 15th birthday, I took on coordinating this fun little list series that you are right this moment reading! And here is what I asked our team members to come up with:

Obviously I put us on a path that was only ever going to lead me here. The brand is too strong. And thus, may I present to you my magnum opus, a career pinnacle, my Mount Rushmore: Top 15 Black Actresses Over 50 Who I Think Should Play Gay (Again)

No, please!!! Stop!!!! The standing ovation is unnecessary! You’re welcome.

Notably Played Gay: The L Word, The L Word: Generation Q

Did I put Jennifer Beals this low purely to make a joke about Bette Porter being a bottom?

Notably Played Gay: Set It Off, Bessie, Ryan Murphy’s Janet Mock’s Hollywood

Queen Latifah should be ranked higher (and to be clear, she will always be ranked higher in my heart) but I had to be honest with myself: this is a wish list. Queen Latifah playing gay again in our lifetimes, and doing it well, is more of an eventuality. It’s only matter of time.

I don’t know what to tell you!!!! Have you seen her arms?? Those arms deserve to be in a white t-shirt with the arm holes cut out to turn it into a tank top, drinking a bud light at a dyke bar Shane Mccutcheon-style, in an indie thriller directed by Dee Reese.

Notably Played Gay: Bruised

I recently rewatched Halle Berry’s queer MMA drama Bruised for a different writing assignment about its outstanding sex scene. I was reminded that though Bruised is far from a perfect movie (no offense to Halle Berry, who is also the film’s director), Halle Berry will have chemistry with anyone you put her against on screen. So let’s continue to push the boundaries of that theory.

Notably Played Gay: Orange Is the New Black

Laverne Cox is talented. Laverne Cox is hot. No one gives Laverne Cox enough work. I think we can all come to the conclusion that if we just…

Notably Played Gay: American Horror Story (Hotel)

It’s time to return Angela Bassett to her roots, playing a hot divorcee on the precipice of her next chapter!!

Imagine Angela Bassett in a Netflix original about a wealthy late in life lesbian in Nappa Valley, fresh off her divorce from her husband, her kids away at college, and while discovering herself she falls in love with the quiet butch florist who was hired for a fancy wine event at her vineyard. There’s a first kiss on the balcony at sunset scene, there’s a baby’s first gay bar scene, there’s a coming out to her kids scene, there’s a fight in the kitchen that leads to incredibly hot make up sex. Did I just combine like three or four different movie and television tropes into one plot? Yes. Yes, I did.

But tell me you wouldn’t watch that shit!! Netflix RUN ME MY CHECK!!!

Ok.. so… Listen… Like many actors on this list, Tracee Ellis Ross has never played gay before (that I know of)… and yet, I just believe on a deeply spiritual, in my gut, the stars and oceans and moons all align and may peace be found in all of our hearts, top card of the tarot deck, type-of-level that she just be would be soooo good at it, you know?

Notably Played Gay: Running with Scissors, The Box, Truth Be Told, LA’s Finest

In the last five years or so, Gabrielle Union has made an entire subset of her career playing bisexual characters who have less than five seconds of close sexual proximity with another woman (Truth Be Told, LA’s Finest). And in each instance I’ve watched the entire show, regardless, in a vain hope for more. Personally I think that I should be able to sue for damages.

I keep thinking I should have something else to say. But then I look at her. My mind draws a blank.

Whew. Like a fine wine.

Notably Played Gay: The Women

Side quest: But have you ever seen this grainy VHS footage from Tisha Campbell’s wedding in the 90s when Jada is seemingly flirting with Tasha Smith’s twin sister, Sidra? It’s 15 seconds to make you smile. I’m just saying, now imagine that on screen.

I cannot believe that Grace Jones has just never played a queer woman on screen??? Surely, that must be a misprint????

Notably Played Gay: Smokin’ Aces, The Color Purple

If you had asked even as recently as November if I thought that Taraji P. Henson could believably play a queer woman on screen, I would have said no. That’s not a diss! Not everything is for everybody!! But thenThe Color Purple released. And now:

Notably Played Gay: Hello, Again

Once upon a time, there was a little known movie musical from 2017 known as Hello, Again and in it Audra McDonald is in a queer relationship for the length of approximately one song. But I did not personally know of this instance until 2021, when Drew wrote us a history. It has haunted me ever since.

You see, I was given a taste. I’ve seen what’s possible. Much like Martin Luther King, I’ve seen the mountain top. I cannot stop. I cannot rest. I will keep marching towards freedom seeing Audra McDonald press a woman against a wall and sing hotly into her ear once again.

Notably Played Gay: If These Walls Could Talk 2, Dear White People, Broken Hearts Club

No other straight actress has played gay more on this list than Nia Long. In fact, in our historic list of the 60 straight actresses who have played gay the most… she comes in at a whomping 43! Amazing. And yet! All of these roles have been bad? Like, terrible, no good, very bad bad.

I simply must believe that the mutual gay root of both myself and Janelle Monáe deserves better.

Notably Played Gay: Kissed Jacqueline Bisset in an episode of Nip/Tuck

Some might say that I’m wild for giving the #1 spot to such an “unproven talent” in this field. Some might say that this will age badly. That one day the universe will laugh at my bullish arrogance as foolishness.

And to that I say three small words: Love & Basketball.

Your honor, I rest my case.

And because I’m an overachiever who likes a challenge, here are 15 MORE Black women over 50 who I think should play gay (again), unranked: Niecy Nash, Anika Noni Rose, Vanessa Williams (both of them), Whoopi Goldberg, Sophie Okonedo, Cree Summer, Garcelle Beauvais, Vanessa Bel Calloway, Karen Robinson, Wanda Sykes, Viola Davis, Sidra Smith (Tasha Smith’s queer twin sister that far too few people talk about!!), Sheryl Lee Ralph, and Lisa Bonet!

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