“Lez Girls” is hot off the press and Bette doesn’t care for it in Episode 411 “Lacy Lilting Lyrics.” We are joined by listener SSG Lauren Montoya, who reached out to us about sharing how Tasha’s fictional experience in the military compares to her actual experience as a Staff Sergeant in the army! Together, we witness Henry ripping off his toenails in front of my face, a bad day for Spacegate at Intechmode, Jodi eating an orange, Shane Daddying Jared and sniffing purses, Helena’s relationship continuing to deteriorate, everybody yelling at everybody else about who is or is not a lesbian, and Molly Kroll’s debut appearance!

Papi (topless) and Kit (wearing a black tank top) lay next to each other in a bed with white sheets. Kit stares up at the ceiling and says, "I guess I'm not a lesbian."

Tasha and Alice stand facing each other and smiling like they're in love. "You've got yourself a daddy."

Angus (in a black t-shirt) sits at The Planet. He says, "You're so not a lesbian."

Bette standing in front of a blue-and-green mural at an art show opening. Her hair is pinned up and she's wearing a tan and black high-collar dress. Subtitles read, "[Giggling]"

Phyllis, in a black blazer, reading from Lez Girls. She says, "Emotionally abusive Bev, that's you."

A big long conference table, with Max surrounded by a bunch of other tech dudes on their phones and laptops. His boss, at the head of the table, says, "Let's begin with an update on space gate."

A bald person wearing an army uniform and sitting at a desk. Slightly off camera, Tasha stands in front of the desk with her hands behind her back. The army official says, "Very serious consequences for you."

Alice with a confused "huh?" look on her face. She says, "Really? Your tiny little feet?"

Shane (wearing a grey t-shirt and a black fedora) and Alice (back to the camera) at a shoe store. Shane says, "I don't know, Nancy Drew."

Max's arm reaching down to shake his boss's hand, who is wearing a full suit and sitting at a conference table. Max says, "Give my best to your wife and your kid."

Phyllis's husband says to Phyllis (whose back is to the camera), "I mean, I honestly don't think you're a lesbian."

Phyllis stares back at her husband (whose back is to the camera) and says, "What is a lesbian tendency?"

An old guy in a full suit and tiny glasses holds a copy of Les Girls up to the window looking into Bette's office. He says, "Lez Girls -- Way to go, 'Bev.'"

Bette and her assistant in Bette's office. She says, "So fucking unacceptable."

Tina, outside, talking on her cell phone to Bette. Tina says into the phone, "If anything, you're just a little bit of a control freak."

Jodi is walking away from Bette. There's another guy in a blue hooded sweatshirt walking by. "It just felt like an artifice."

Jared and Shane on the couch, turned and looking over the back of the couch. Shane says, "of these things called subservient chickens."

In the foreground, Henry is clipping his toenails on the coffee table. Behind him, Tina is hunched over the counter talking on her cell phone. She says, "It's so bad. It's so bad."

Bette sitting up in bed, reading Lez Girls. She says, "This is complete and utter total fucking bullshit."

Henry and Tina (her back to the camera) standing in the kitchen. Henry says, "Once a lesbian, always a lesbian."

Tina in the kitchen, saying to Henry (off camera), "You were so cool with me being a lesbian."

Alice (wearing a red and black flannel shirt) and Tasha (in her army uniform) facing each other. Alice says, "God, they friction' love me here."

Jodi, wearing a purple henley shirt, holds up a half-gallon jug of 2% milk with "Dean Porter" written on it in Sharpie.

Paige (in a blue shirt) and Jared in the front seat of their car. Paige looks over at Jared and says, "All right. Let's go to The Planet."

Tina (wearing a black top) and Bette (wearing a white top) sit outside next to each other. Tina says, "You're more enlightened, you're more informed,"

In the foreground, two elaborately wrapped gifts. Behind them, we can see Shane, Alice, Tina, and Jenny sitting around a table together. "The pimps and the hos?"

Jenny, Shane, and Alice laughing together at a dimly lit bar. "Huh? No, we weren't talking about you."

Overhead shot of a crowded room at Jodi's art show. Subtitles read, "[Tom interpreting]: Thank you."

Phyllis, wearing a teal shirt under a black blazer, with a gold necklace and small rimless glasses, at Jodi's art show. "They are all wonderful artists."

Bette in a white frilly top, standing in front of one of Jodi's work benches, saying, "I know you think I'm the asshole of life."

A blonde singer in a dark room holding a microphone. She says, "Happy birthday, Paige!"