Generation Q has ended its first season and you know what that means: we are returning to the vast hellscape of the original L Word’s Season Three! Carly and I are kicking off with Episode 306 and a very special guest: “weird queer comedy babe” Jes Tom, who you should definitely follow on Twitter. This week’s episode involves so many strange and unpleasant-to-bearable events: Alexandra Hedison pretending to be straight, Carmen spraying Shane with a fire extinguisher because birds are monogamous, Bette telling Tina to go out and get it with Josh Becker, Sleater-Kinney playing at The Planet tonight, Max thinking hard about hormones, everybody finding out that Dana is actually super sick and so much more!

Alice (wearing a short black dress) stands in the doorway of her apartment with a house cleaner (a woman wearing a long chambray shirt and her hair braided). The lifesize cutout of Dana is in between them. Alice asks, "Can you recycle foam core?"

Carmen (wearing a gray tank top and black spandex shorts) is in the kitchen with Shane (wearing a classic white button up). Carmen throws a slice of pizza across the room at Shane, yelling, "Do you want sausage, or fucking pepperoni?"

A fancy New York book publisher sits at a table at The Planet, wearing a brown suit and short blonde hair. Jenny is dancing behind her, squealing, having just opened the first half of her advance for her book.

Billie (wearing a black-and-gray horizontal striped tank top, his blonde hair styled into a mohawk), stands in a doorway withe the door half open. He makes his right hand into a claw, winks an eye, and says, "Rawr."

Shane (wearing jeans and a black t-shirt), Alice (wearing a gray vest, white shirt, gray pants, and sunglasses), and Carmen (wearing black pants and a black tank top) stand outside on the patio of Shane and Jenny's house. Shane says to Alice, "Did you know birds mate for life?"

Helena (wearing a headband and a brown shirt), says to Tina (whose back is to the camera), "Well, then, talk to me as a straight woman."

Tina and Bette have just walked into their house and they look surprised. Tina is wearing a red pinstripe shirt and a red neck tie. Bette is wearing a green tunic and carrying a paper bag of groceries. Bette says to Kit and Mangus (who are both off screen), "You've got to be kidding me."

Carmen stands in the crowd, surround by people, at a concert. Off screen, Kit says, "these sisters are bad to the bone."

Carrie Brownstein (playing herself in Sleater-Kinney) stands at the microphone on stage performing a concert. She is holding her guitar and has brown short hair that flips out at the ends, and she is wearing a short-sleeve floral shirt. She sings, "I spend the afternoon in cars"

Billie (wearing a white tank top), looks at Jenny (wearing a blue dress) who is holding Max's (wearing a green tank top) face in her hands. Jenny says to Max, "Don't hide."

Shane is standing in the crowd at the Sleater-Kinney concert. She is holding a bottle of Dos Equis beer and talking on her cell phone. She says, "Sleater-Kinney's amazing!"