How to Drink: Whiskey

Q:
You are the whiskey person, right? What’s the best whiskey? What’s the best cheap whiskey? What’s the best way to drink whiskey besides straight?

A:
Oh honey. I’d like to start by admitting that we really only know about 5% of what there is to know about whiskey, probably, therefore I’m gonna need you to keep your expectations kinda low and your eyes on the prize. The prize is whiskey, so that should be easy.

SMALL TINY LESSON

In case you were wondering what the hell’s going on re: whiskey vs whisky vs bourbon vs scotch, I’ve sailed the intergallactic sea of knowledge for you and come back with this:

I want to tell you that I don’t like the word ‘bourbon’ because it looks like something you’d slur when you’ve had too much whiskey and you meant to say ‘bubble’ or something, but I do like bourbon, actually. And I’m not the only one! So I’ve assembled a really special team of whiskey/y drinkers to share their whiskey/y brains and feelings with you. We’re talking about our favorites, though — not what we think is best. Because really, who are we to tell you what’s best? You drink you, little sail.

DeAnne Smith:

What’s the best whiskey?

Glenfiddich, 15 year reserve. Holy cow! How knowledgeable do I sound right now? (VERY.)

What’s the best cheap whiskey?

Wiser’s. It’s Canadian. It’s cheap. This is everything I know about it.

What’s the best way to drink whiskey besides straight?

In a Manhattan!

See also: Hot Canadian

Carolyn:

What’s the best whiskey?

If you’re going for expensive, Johnny Walker Blue – which I’ve never had because I’m broke, but which my girlfriend says is really good. Also: Dalwhinnie or Oban.

What’s the best cheap whiskey?

Johnny Walker Red or Jameson.

What’s the best way to drink whiskey besides straight?

Gay.

Really: the technical best way is to drink it with a splash of room-temperature water to open up the flavour (though this can backfire if you use tap water). A close second is as a hot toddy with as much honey and fresh lemon juice as you want.

See also: Spiced Whiskey [Ed. note – Riese and I tried this and it’s super delicious]

 

Marni:

What’s the best whiskey?

If we’re talking about types of whiskey (versus brands) then I’m all about bourbon. My dad is from West Virginia and over the course of my life has passed on to me his love of fishing, woodworking, bluegrass music, and above all, bourbon. There’s something about bourbon that just matches perfectly with all of the aforementioned activities. It can cost a hundred dollars and be sipped from a crystal tumbler or it can cost ones of dollars and be sipped from a go-cup in a dive bar or out of a flask at a show or a barn dance. It’s the everyman whiskey!

What’s the best cheap whiskey?

What constitutes a “cheap” whiskey depends on your intentions. If you want something to strip paint off your car or disinfect a wound, by all means get the Wild Turkey. If you want something to mix with soda or ginger ale or whatever, go with Jack (note: Jack is not officially a bourbon because it’s made in Tennessee, not Kentucky. Only Kentucky gets to call its whiskey bourbon).

If you’re interested in a decent sipping whiskey and don’t want to spend more than $20 – $30 (like me), go with Bulleit, Maker’s, Gentleman Jack, Woodford Reserve or Buffalo Trace (though Laneia thinks Woodford “tastes like nipples”). If you’re willing to spend a little more I also enjoy Basil Hayden’s, Jefferson’s, Knob Creek, Elmer T. Lee, Four Roses Single Barrel, Elijah Craig, Makers 46, Rock Hill Farms, and a slew of others. The types available and price will differ place to place, so if you’re not sure where to start, don’t be shy about asking friends or bartenders what they like. Pay attention in grocery stores/pharmacies, too, if you live somewhere where they sell liquor in those places – sometimes a $25-$35 bottle will go on sale for $19.99. Those are great days for America!

If you’re in Canada, you’re a bit worse off where bourbon goes, because the same brands are more expensive than they are in the States and you can’t find as many kinds. In fact I don’t even know if you can get a decent $20 bourbon in Canada. You probably can’t (but then I only know Ontario and Quebec – other provinces, like BC, have different laws and probably have better selection). The LCBO in Ontario has an okay selection and always stocks Maker’s and Bulleit and a few other common kinds (like Jack), but they’re closer to $40 (and I cannot get behind pricing regular Jack like a “fancy” whiskey).

In Quebec (Montreal specifically), bourbon is getting more and more popular and the SAQ is carrying a lot more than they used to. You can find a lot of the types I’ve mentioned at many SAQs, but for the best selection go to the depot. And if you don’t see a lot on the shelves, ask the clerks (sometimes they hoard it in the back).

I can get down with just about anything, but the thing about whiskey is when you go really cheap, you pay in different ways.

What’s the best way to drink whiskey besides straight?

The best way to drink whiskey is around a campfire, or in a very dark bar with a great band playing, or while playing scrabble near a fireplace.

As always, you do you! Don’t abide anyone telling you that you’re drinking something the wrong way (unless you’re mixing a $50 bourbon with Coke, then we’re not friends anymore). Drink what you like and experiment! My preferred method is just straight with an ice cube (the ice cube unlocks the magical flavours and makes neat swirls), but sometimes I like making my own sour mix at home or using fresh lemon juice and simple syrup for a quick whiskey sour. Lately I’ve been trying to learn more about cocktails, too, and I’ve been mixing my Bulleit bourbon or rye with a little sweet vermouth and a dash of bitters for simple homemade Manhattans. I’m also very partial to Fit For a Femme’sbourbon slush,” but I’m not sure she’s giving up the recipe anytime soon.

Taylor:

What’s the best whiskey?

I’ve usually enjoyed Maker’s Mark, foremost. When betraying my homestate but emphasizing loyalty to my ancestral homeland, I would opt for Jameson, which I like about equally. When betraying both and honoring our Noble Northern Neighbors, I sometimes drink Crown Royal, which comes in a great purple pouch that you can use for holding keepsakes, drugs, or more whiskey.

Beyond that: Woodford Reserve, Four Roses, and Bushmills are all good choices. And you can get just about anything in a small batch or more aged iteration if you want to Get Fancy. I think I also like Knob Creek, but maybe I am misremembering and have been charmed by its attractive squared-off bottle.

What’s the best cheap whiskey?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Canadian Mist. One year we drank that at Bonnaroo, and I recall being able to stomach it straight (and straight out of the bottle) before 10AM, which I think means it must be the best. And you can buy a plastic handle of it, which is so lightweight you could almost take it anywhere. Anywhere that would accept the presence of an egregiously large amount of grain alcohol contained in not-glassware, that is. Like beaches or out to run errands, to name a few common examples.

Beyond that, Bulleit errs on the side of affordability and is the Hip New Thing. Seriously, just look around your friend’s houses…everyone I know has 6-10 handsome Bulleit bottles on their kitchen windowsill. They’re kind of a twentysomething rite of home decor passage now. In fact, there’s one on my bedside table that I keep water in, for hydrating. Hydrating is so important.

From my experience, Early Times will make you regrettably ill. Or maybe just mint juleps in general. Or maybe just Derby hats. It’s hard to tease apart these variables. And I don’t fuck around with Jim Beam or Jack, but that’s just me.

What’s the best way to drink whiskey besides straight?

As much as it pains me, these days I can’t drink whiskey straight with the gusto of yore, probably thanks to a possible corn allergy, a spate of bad decisions and also heartburn. While many people would consider sullying a decent whiskey with an intruder liquid to be a crime against humanity… to each her own! That’s what I say. You do yo(ur mixer). That’s what I also say.

Whiskeyideas I would suggest:
+ Crown & Coke
+ Top it off with a little gingerale
+ Mix quasi-equal parts whiskey & lime juice
+ Whiskey sours! You’ll probably get sick, but I just have a thing for sour mix, I dunno.

Laneia:

What’s the best whiskey?

Knob Creek is the best best whiskey. You can taste the oak barrel, you guys. YOU CAN TASTE IT. Also Glenfiddich is quite nice.

What’s the best cheap whiskey?

The following whiskeys won’t kill you: Evan Williams, Jack Daniels, Bushmills, Maker’s Mark. I’m not sure if all of these are considered cheap, but actually cheap whiskey is just a bad idea, so maybe don’t go below Jack.

What’s the best way to drink whiskey besides straight?

I go with three ice cubes in a mason jar or — ! — I was recently gifted with whiskey stones and I fucking love them. If you do ice, there’s this magical window when your whiskey has been chilled just slightly and has just enough water mixed in that it will taste perfect. It’s a small window, so you should monitor your glass accordingly. Probably the easiest way to drink whiskey is with ginger ale or even just a tiny squeeze of a lime, which will be kinda weird but will work in a real pinch. Don’t try tonic — that will be god awful. Are you in Tennessee? Chase Jack with SunDrop.

What do you think? Did we miss a whiskey? Do you sometimes call it schwiskey? What’s your favorite homemade sour mix recipe? Please share your whiskey feelings in the comments! You’ll be so glad you did.

OBVIOUSLY
Photography © jmberman1 2009

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lnj

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901 Comments

  1. I have a lot of feelings about whiskey, specifically the bourbon kind.

    True stories: my family’s mostly from Kentucky and some used to live right by a Jim Beam distillery, so that’s the only kind of bourbon we drink (besides Maker’s Mark when you wanna class it up a little). Mint julep was one of the first drinks I ever tasted. And when my granddad passed away, my sister and I made whiskey sours (his favorite drink) in his honor and drank them out of nalgene bottles at his burial.

    Side note: I believe strongly that you should never, ever use sour mix. Lemons and sugar are pretty easy to come by, and they taste so much better than mix.

    • I agree that friends don’t let friends drink sour mix, but a somewhat easier-than-squeezing-lemons alternative is just going for frozen limeade cans. tastes way better, but does not involve being around knives once you are already drunk. (…but don’t bother with the classy whiskey on this one.)

    • I think how you choose to prepare your whiskey sour depends on the whiskey. Try honey whiskey (Wild Turkey) with grapefruit juice.

    • Not to be creepy, but I know now almost exactly where your family used to live. Or the general area, at least. Most of my family is from KY as well and we have a yearly reunion that is conveniently located so that between Indy (home) and there, we pass at least 5 major distilleries. Although I’m not from Kentucky, I kind of feel like a traitor drinking whiskey other than bourbon and drinking bourbon feels like going home.

      Jim Beam isn’t my favorite, but they are also the makers of Knob Creek, Basil Hayden, and Bookers, all of which I love. And if you’re ever in the area and also like to drink ale, for the love of god please try Kentucky Brewing Company’s Bourbon Ale. It’s aged in old bourbon casks and combines the best parts of whiskey and beer. One word of warning, though – I’ve had it bottled and it was super gross. I think you have to get it on draft. The local tavern in Bardstown serves it with some pretty excellent fried green tomatoes, if you (meaning, other people) are ever in the area.

  2. <3 Whisky.

    My absolute favourite is Talisker, for its very distinguished smokey taste. It feels like you're drinking liquid smoke, in the best possible way you'd ever want to drink smoke. (The best non-alcoholic way of drinking smoke is lapsang souchong tea, by the way. That's the taste of the best campfire in the world in a tea leaf.) To me, drinking Talisker feels like drinking something magical, for it has such an out of this world special taste.

    My cheap go to whiskey is Jameson. But even Jameson is pretty proper. More neutral, less scary than Talisker. As a person who perfers to drink her whisky straight up, cheap whiskey for me is not really worth it. I'd rather just invest 40 dollar on a bottle of proper stuff at some point and use it sparsely. It's worth it.

    And please, for the love of it, HIDE THAT BOTTLE OF PROPER WHISKEY WHEN YOU HAVE A HOUSE PARTY, to prevent having drunk imbeciles mix it with diet coke or something horrible like that. Yes, even if these drunk imbeciles are your friends. They will thank you for saving the Nice Whisky for Proper Occasions. Just have a bottle of Whatever That's Cheap And Resembles Whisky ready for drunk late night mixing needs.

    • Ooh Paloma, this does sound good, I didn’t know it was a thing! I tried smoky alcohol this year for the first time in the form of a smoked beer / rauchbier and it was one of the drinking highlights of my life. Can’t wait to try smoked whisky :)

    • Yes! Talisker is my very fave with Laphroiag coming a close second. I have to say, I hide the good stuff when I have friends over – they would only try to put Pepsi Max in it. I love them, but it just pains me too dang much.

      Oh Paloma, how I wish we could share a wee dram…

      • If you like Laphroiag second to Talisker, have you tried Caol Ila or Lagavulin? Both are strong, smoky Islay whiskys but don’t have quite the sea-peat that Laphroiag has. I think you may enjoy them if you enjoy both Laphroiag and Talisker.

        • But the sea-peat is what makes Laphroiag magic! :) Laphroaig makes me feel like I’m drinking whiskey and winter campfire. I love it.

          But Lagavulin is deliciously smoky and smoother, it’s my choice if I plan on doing anything besides drink whiskey (eat food, move on to other alcohols etc).

          I’ll have to try Talisker if it’s recommended by fans of Lagavulin and Laphroaig.

          • It’s three years later and i’m here “from the archives” but if you guys love Talisker & Laphroaig as much as I do (with Laphroaig as a personal favorite) you guys should try Ardbeg it is really really good too ! close to Laphroaig but with lingering chocolate notes yummm

      • I was in my regular today, and I drank Laphroiag and had to think of you, Lottie. Consider it the next best thing.

    • Yes yes and yes again.

      Have you had Talisker 57 North? It’s kind of like an orgasm for the Talisker lover. My favourite whisky hands down. I wouldn’t say standard Talisker is a favourite of mine, but the 57 North is just a mouthgasm.

      • Oh and no offence, but, please, do assure me that you are not the bisexual-hating ‘Laura’ of the Krisily Kennedy thread.

        • No, that person was really, really not me. I looked up that thread to figure out what you were talking about (I didn’t remember the article), and that user wasn’t a member.

          She’s also a serious embarrassment to those of us called “Laura”.

          My partner of 8+ years is bisexual (more like pan, but she’s happy to be called bi), so if I’m bisexual hating, someone should probably tell her. I’m not, though. :)

          • <3. No need to defend yourself.

            In fact, reading back that comment of mine, it sounded rather rude to ask. So sorry for the impoliteness on my side.

            Let's have a Talisker and celebrate bisexuals. (Amongst the rest of the LGBTBBQ-spectrum)

  3. Maybe I read it wrong, but I though Marni’s post implied that Laneia thinks Woodford isn’t good because it “tastes like nipples.”

    Maybe it’s just me, but I would think that would be a selling point on a website that caters to the ladies that like ladies. ;)

    • here’s the thing — sometimes when you’ve had a specific bit of flesh in your mouth for an extended period of time, it can begin to have a flavor that could resemble like… oh fuck it. idk how to explain it. it’s just a thing. IN MY DEFENSE i was going to give woodford reserve another shot a few weeks ago but the store was sold out, so anyway i’m not totally opposed to nipple whiskey, is what i’m saying. and apparently other people really like it.

      • re: nipple whiskey + “sometimes when you’ve had a specific bit of flesh in your mouth for an extended period of time, it can begin to have a flavor that could resemble like…” >>> Redbreast: Pure Pot Still Irish Whiskey. I’ve heard that it’s actually quite delicious.

      • Maybe it was just you… Did anyone else say it taste like nipple?? xD did u just had a nipple in your mouth before the whisky??

  4. Oh my god sending to whiskey loving friend RIGHT NOW.

    Also, I really like Jameson, but I once had a Dalwhinnie 15 at a scotch bar and it was possibly the best thing ever.

    Whiskey in more than small quantities tends to upset my stomach (again, corn allergy?) but I drink it sometimes anyway.

    • Thank you, m’dear, for making my phone beep loud enough to get me out of bed and read this.

      That’s a lie. My sinuses and I are still sitting in bed with my laptop.

  5. For anyone wanting to try drinking bourbon straight I’d suggest starting with Jim Beam’s Red Stag. It’s cherry infused (though very mildly) so it’s sweeter and easier to drink.

    • I was hoping someone would mention Red Stag! Pretty tasty for a non-whiskey/bourbon person like myself.

      Also somehow delicious with lemonade?

    • Unfortunately Red Stag reminds me of cherry cough syrup, but not as much of the McGuinness Cherry-Whisky Liqueur that my roommate picked up for $10 in Alberta. It pretty much WAS Benelyn.

      On another note, if you are looking for something cheap and good in Canada “Alberta Premium” is one of the only Canadian Whiskys still made with 100% Rye. It’ll also only run you max $13 for a mickey (375 mL/ about 13 oz) in BC.

      However I generally go for Scotch or Irish Whiskey. Glendronach tasted a bit like candy and I love me some Jameson’s…

      • I don’t think there’s enough cherry flavour to be honest, but Benelyn was a childhood addiction of mine so maybe that’s why I like it.

        Being welsh I also like stuff like Penderyn, not quite as strong as most scotch so easy to drink.

  6. you guys, make old fashioneds!! so good, and they make the bourbon drinking experience so fancy. just put a little sugar in the bottom of a glass, a couple dashes of bitters and a splash of water, swirl it around, add bourbon + ice. the best. throw in a cherry and an orange slice if you want to take it to the next level.

    • that’s it. i’m buying bitters. i’ve put this off bc really how often am i going to need bitters — probably as often as i need chambord, right? but no, i’m buying some fucking bitters. thank you, emily. this sounds tasty.

      • yes! so worth it. and i’m pretty sure a bottle of bitters has a lifespan of about 300 years, so you don’t even have to worry about it going bad/going to waste.

      • Essentially, every single good cocktail uses Angostura bitters. And bitters bottles are just so lovely. I just got some *rhubarb* ones the other day!

        • Whoa! Rhubarb bitters. I must have rhubarb bitters.

          I bought a bottle of orange bitters last year. Very awesome and, when used in minute quantities, make a good addition to desserts (dark chocolate esp.) and vinaigrettes/salad dressings/marinades.

          The 300-year lifespan thing is no joke. Bitters bottles always have pretty rad package design, particularly since they come wrapped in paper. I always thought the paper wrapping was an “Olde-Tymey” ad agency gimmick, but I suppose that’s one of the reasons they last 300 years. I hope my friends can enjoy cocktails made with my bitters at my wake.

        • Whoa! Rhubarb bitters. I must have rhubarb bitters.

          I bought a bottle of orange bitters last year. Very awesome and, when used in minute quantities, make a good addition to desserts (dark chocolate esp.) and vinaigrettes/salad dressings/marinades.

          The 300-year lifespan thing is no joke. Bitters bottles always have pretty rad package design, particularly since they come wrapped in paper. I always thought the paper wrapping was an “Olde-Tymey” ad agency gimmick, but I suppose that’s one of the reasons they last 300 years. I hope, at my wake, my friends can enjoy cocktails made with my bitters.

    • I am interpreting this advice as coming from Betty Draper with a gun, which makes me extra likely to take said advice.

  7. This article could not have come at a better time.
    I’ve been thinking about maybe taking up whiskey-drinking (baby steps!) in place of vodka + whatever fizzy drink is on hand. Because vodka is just… blegh.

    I hail from the land of Bushmills (been to the distillery and all), so I might try starting off with that.
    (That and the fact that I have a bottle of it lying around, a gift.)

    • Bushmills is definitely my go-to cheapish whiskey that I order on the rocks at this one lesbian bar (great karaoke, terrible bartenders/beer selection) because even a decent gin and tonic is really beyond that place.

  8. I am impartial to Maker’s Mark when I’m willing to shell out for it, which isn’t often, but I still love and pine for it. lol I have a friend who swears by Crown Royal but the thought of that doesn’t get me nearly as giddy as Maker’s Mark does.

    Laneia: “If you do ice, there’s this magical window when your whiskey has been chilled just slightly and has just enough water mixed in that it will taste perfect. It’s a small window, so you should monitor your glass accordingly.”

    THIS SO HARD. I’m baffled by all the love whiskey stones have been getting as of late, precisely for this reason.

    • whiskey stones force you to get super sippy with your beverage, as opposed to just taking ‘little drinks’ or whatever, like you can when you ice/water it. and the whiskey really does taste different with the stones, in a really good way. if you like whiskey with an ice cube or two, you should at least try the stones to test the different flavor.
      i want to spell it ‘flavour’ but i’d just look like a poseur. sigh.

    • OK, yeah, on whiskey stones. There’s this:

      “Laneia: “If you do ice, there’s this magical window when your whiskey has been chilled just slightly and has just enough water mixed in that it will taste perfect. It’s a small window, so you should monitor your glass accordingly.”

      Plus this:
      “Carolyn: Really: the technical best way is to drink it with a splash of room-temperature water to open up the flavour (though this can backfire if you use tap water).”

      Plus:
      “Marni: My preferred method is just straight with an ice cube (the ice cube unlocks the magical flavours and makes neat swirls)…”

      And because I’m an Aesthetics Bitch of a pretty high order, I must state: Whiskey Stones look like blocks of shit in the glass. Well, granite shit, but still. Very wrong. I can’t think of an uglier fucking thing to put into a drink, and that includes stir-sticks with advertising.

      Admittedly, I have (First-World) problems drinking water from an opaque plastic or ceramic vessel because the light can’t diffuse through the glass to make the drink sparkle and look its liquid-est. But that’s just an Aesthetics Bitch thing, not something I’d take to extreme measures, ie. I would never complain if a friend gave me a drink of water in an opaque cup. On the contrary, I would thank the friend for being kind.

      But, whiskey is gorgeous and golden and warm; it looks like cooling fire. I believe there may exist some words in Gaelic that specifically denote whiskey as fire-colored. That’s why we drink it in glasses. Whiskey Stones ruin the beautiful swirls of smoke-like melting water and whiskey. They block the light when one holds one’s glass up before a lamp to appreciate the warmth of the whiskey color, whether the blond of some Scotches or the dark-brown of some bourbons.

      Besides, many generations of noble (and not-so-noble) whiskey drinkers have managed to drink their whiskey at optimum temperatures with simple water or an ice cube or, gasp, two. I do have an ancient ice-tray that makes huge, square ice cubes and one of them is perfect for a single drink of whiskey. Aesthetics Bitch awards Whiskey Stones a big fail.

      Also, Whiskey Stones? Fer fuckssake! The first association I made was with kidney stones and bladder stones. I thought it was some kind of new bladder disease that whiskey drinkers were developing.

  9. Oh my gosh, I have so many feelings about whiskey. It’s like the thing that I am third most snobbish about.

    1. Old Overholt rye is absolutely 100% your best whiskey value. $13 for a fifth, good enough to drink neat, cheap enough to mix without feeling guilty. You cannot go wrong with Old Overholt.

    2. I strongly recommend not putting ice in good whiskey. The colder your beverage is, the less you’re able to smell it, and taste is mostly smell. Good scotch on the rocks will taste very similar to cheap scotch on the rocks. So either stay cheap and iced, or just use a little water to cut the alcohol.

    • This. If drinking whisky (Scotch), ice should not even look at the dram. A drop of water helps if it’s cask strength (60%+), but never too much water and never ice.

      I hear bourbon aches for ice, but I’m not a bourbon drinker and am totally ignorant of this. I only know that whisky + ice = sad day.

  10. I used to be able to see Kentucky from my house, so I am a committed whiskey drinker. But I have to admit, the best cheap whiskey is Tennessee bourbon.

  11. WHISKY
    Scottish Whisky (especially Islay & Oban) is the best. I was in the uni Whisky society in Edinburgh so, yeah, I’m biased.
    In rare whiskies, I love the Breton whisky Eddu. Some Japanese ones are quite good as well.

    • Agree completely. Although I’m more Island and Oban, but I can appreciate Caol Ila and Lagavulin quite a bit. I’ve also not met a Japanese I haven’t liked. Do you have a particular favourite?

      (St Andrews post grad here, by the way. Nice to see another Scottish uni student/alum.)

  12. i am so proud to have been the inspiration for this post.

    thanks for the enlightenment autostraddle!

    • I personally would like to salute you for being the person who caused me to open a bottle of rye whiskey at 11 in the morning. (Just to sniff it, I swear.) Cheers!

      • And I personally would like to salute you for opening a bottle of rye at 11 in the morning! ;)

  13. I generally stick to single malts with two exceptions:

    I was at a Purim party trashed on Manischewitz and kept having shots of Famous Grouse passed to me while we celebrated life, health and all good things. I would never normally drink Famous Grouse since it’s kind of gross but at this point I was kind of like ‘Whatever! L’chaim!’

    Sheep Dip. It’s a really nice blended malt whisky.

    As far as single malts go I love Talisker and Macallan whisky. There’s a wee old man pub on my campus called The Machar which has a really good selection of whisky/whiskey including a bottle of Macallan 25 yr old single malt that I am treating myself to when I pass my viva/thesis defence this year.

    • Macallan, yes definitely! That brings back memories. I was going to treat myself to a bottle after my exams in two weeks. I’m completely out of everything until then, but it might have to be Macallan.

    • Yeah, the Maccallan. I can’t think of a better place to drink the first one or two than an old man bar. There’s one in San Francisco, Clooney’s, that pulls in a great crowd of old folks in the Mission. Horseshoe bar, old stevedores (male and female- think Leslie Feinberg) with amazing stories of working the (now long-vanished) docks, well drinks for all. Unless we’re celebrating.

      Lesley, that could have been my aunt and uncle’s Purim party, but substitute next-up-from-the-bottom-shelf-at-the-store blended Scotch in plastic handles. Whoo!

      In the last couple of years though, they’ve been buying wines from Israel and the Manischewitz is gone for Purim and Passover. I can’t say I’m entirely sad. Plus, it gives my uncle such joy to describe to me the Renaissance of Israeli viticulture and how “the wines are ORGANIC!” And “the workers are organized and they have great benefits!” Die-hard socialists, show yer fists, yo!

      Good luck with the thesis!

      • The Machar on campus consists of elder Aberdonians from the Old Aberdeen area, lecturers/Professor types, and the students who don’t go to the Scream owned chain pub across from the uni. It also has a ladies darts night and from 3.25pm onwards each week day you can watch/take part in Countdown on the telly.

        I have fuzzy memories from later on that Purim night where I think the president of the university’s Jewish Society was explaining the other Isreali/Kosher wines to me much in the same way your Uncle seems to do with you.

        But Macallan, yes. My parents have some Glenmorangie but I’m not a huge fan. Glenfiddich is okay as well.

    • The only Macallan I’ve ever liked was the 25 year. And I’m humble enough to admit that was a spectacular dram.

      Also, I’m a St Andrews postgrad who’s given papers at Aberdeen a few times. Had more than a few excellent drams at the Machar. Great pub. :)

  14. I have nothing really to add other than to say I’m not only from Kentucky, but from Bourbon County. I went to Bourbon County High School. I have an old sweatshirt that says “Bourbon Soccer.” It always gets a laugh/weird look.

    I can’t say I think Woodford Reserve tastes like nipples, but I do notice it’s generally sweeter than Buffalo Trace or Maker’s. FYI.

    If you really are not a whiskey person, the Ward 8 is one of those drinks that goes pretty far to disguising the taste.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ward_8

    • My mom used to drink Ward 8s all the time. I haven’t heard anyone mention it in forever, I’ve found that most people have never even heard of it.

  15. All of the feelings about this. I don’t even know where to begin. Maybe here:

    1. I tend to drink my whisky straight. If I want it chilled, I lean towards whisky stones over ice usually, because I’m a slow drinker, and nothing is sadder than watery whisky.

    2. Variety is the spice of life. I like to keep a good array of whisky in my home. It means that a) I don’t have to go out as much to drink what I want, and b) ladies are impressed.

    3. The most important thing to note about the above picture: most of the bottles are at least half-empty. Don’t let your bottles get dusty. Drink that shit.

  16. When rifling through the alcohol cabinet at home over Christmas, looking for things to put in the Christmas cake, I found out my dad has a bottle of Southern Comfort. I’m a totally lightweight though and I have a massively sweet tooth, so I drink SoCo and lemonade.

    All this whisky is making me thirsty though. I might so see if I can find some Scotch…

  17. All I know is I had a whole shot of whisky (spelled like a Canadian) once and it was very unpleasant. Hats off to those who can somehow enjoy it.

    • Good grief, that is no way to drink whisky! You should try again in a classic cocktail (unless it’s scotch, in which case I recommend an experienced escort to gently walk you through a tasting).

      • i think your amazing slushes would be a good way to usher anyone into bourbon’s loving arms

  18. I think it’s also important to inform that I have a bottle of Oban in my bedroom. And two glasses. I’m willing to share.

  19. I lean a bit more towards scotch (Glenfiddich holla). But I have been known to drink bourbon every now and again, and to those of you who haven’t tried Eagle Rare (10 year), I say DO IT DO IT DO IT. I got a bottle from a friend for the holidays. After trying it, I now declare him to be a very, very good friend indeed.

    • I love Eagle Rare. LOVE IT. In fact, there’s a 1.75L bottle of it sitting on my kitchen counter right now. It’s the bourbon that taught me I am high-rye through and through. If you like that, I beg of you to get your hot little hands on a bottle of High West’s Double Rye, it’s fucking OUTSTANDING.

  20. That’s it, my birthday is coming up so I’m hitting the liquor store this weekend and getting some more whiskey.

    Also, for cheaper (I think?, it’s all comparative) whiskey, has anyone tried Pendleton? I feel like I should like them since they’re bottled in my home town, but I’ve never tried them.

  21. In Kansas, we like Kentucky Deluxe with our bluegrass. Straight out of the homewrecker, sometimes with pickle juice chasers. I know, it sounds disgusting, but it’s pleasantly surprising.
    When I’m feeling slightly more high brow, I prefer Maker’s with water and a lemon. Usually though, it’s just KD in my glass with water and lemon.

  22. WHY DID THIS NEVER HAPPEN BEFORE NOWWW??! / Thanks

    Especially thanks for that wonderful chart. I’m always getting mixed up

  23. I’ve been trying to make a whisky breakthrough for a while now. I was going to try conditioning myself with a shot of some leftover Bells every day for a month, but I recoiled too much just from the smell of it to get very far.

    So, I’m laying off the scotch for now and using bourbon as my gateway whisky. I went to the Maker’s Mark distillery last year and poked some bubbling sourmash which was v cool, so I started there. Purists will despair, but for mysterious reasons I ended up mixing it with Cheerwine, which made for very quaffable cherry-flavoured rocket fuel. When I get the opportunity to restock my cocktail supplies, I am thinking of using bourbon and cherry liqueur as a base for some kind of black forest concoction.

    Whisky seems to be a lot more expensive than other spirits in the UK; if anyone has any amazing bargain booze recommendations, I am all ears!

    • Don’t drink Bells!!! I cannot say this enough. It is not like real whisky. If you start by drinking that, you won’t like the real thing.

      Unfortch, we Brits have to fork out rather significantly for the decent stuff. Which is why I tend to stick to Jamesons, especially when Sainsburys has it on offer.

      • I’ve spent an evening trying to get to know Jamesons but I felt like we both had too many expectations of each other. I was always under the impression that it was kind of cheap, rough stuff, but if it’s the most reasonable thing to get, I’ll pencil in a second date.

        • I’ve never gotten along with Jamesons, but Johnny Walker Black is a good place to start. On the other hand, the black forest concoction sounds like it has potential.

    • Jesus, Cheerwine?! Didn’t someone recently come out with some black cherry-infused malarkey? I could have sworn I saw that somewhere…

  24. Bells has to be the scotch i drink the most – not necessarily the best – but with a glass full of ice and a splash of coke, goes down a treat.

    Jack Daniels is the only man i’ll ever truly love. Although Jack wasn’t his real name, he was actually called Jasper Newton Daniels.

    Famous Grouse – possibly one of the greatest things to ever emerge from Scotland.

    Best way to make a whisky sour:
    – a generous shot of whisky (preferably Jack Daniels for me)
    – half a lemon juice
    – as much/little syrup or sugar as you like
    – lots of ice
    – slice of orange
    – cherry BUT make a cut into the cherry so it soaks up some of the whisky then eat it

    And best whisky drink by the pitcher:
    – whisky
    -disarano
    – coke
    – ice n slice

    Whisky & cranberry is also lush

    And the infamous hot toddy – whisky, honey, lemon, sugar, cinamon stick and hot water. You have to find your own balance with this one. For me its – double whisky, juice of a full lemon, two teaspoons of sugar and the teeniest bit of honey with a blob of syrup.

    Lynchburg lemonade – whisky, triple sec, lemon juice topped with lemonade, ice & slice.

    If any woman can replicate these drinks to perfection, call me.

    • Reading “Famous Grouse – possibly one of the greatest things to ever emerge from Scotland” makes me immensely sad. It also makes me want to post you a huge box of better whisky so I can defend that much better things come out of Scotland.

  25. Bushmills all the way. It’s even on my fivers. Black Bush *snicker* for something different. And for something WAY out there, Suntory yamazaki.
    And always two sips before actually drinking it.

  26. If it’s fancy drinking time, Balvenie Doublewood is just fantastic. It’s put in a oak cask and then a sherry cask and just has an amazing flavor. I also like Lagavulin.

    Maker’s Mark and Johnny Black are also very nice. I got to try Johnny Blue once and it was amazing.

    Jim Beam is great for mixing.

  27. Last night, Rachel Maddow Herself made pickle-backs for Jimmy Fallon on his show. It was glorious, and they’re the only way I will drink Jameson. So delicious.

    I have MANY feelings in regards to Whiskey/y.

    A bartender I once worked with created the Sweet Lou (named after herself) which is a shot of Jamo or Jack with a splash of Kahluah, chilled. I’m not usually a shot person, but if it comes down to it and there is no pickle juice available, this is my standard when people declare that it’s time to do shots.

    In bars, I usually order Canadian Club (because it is cheap) or Wild Turkey on the rocks, unless I want to treat myself, in which case, I’m partial to Wild Turkey or Bulleit Rye Manhattans with (this is important) Carpano Antica sweet vermouth, HOLD THE BITTERS.

    The only way I like Makers Mark is with 2 oz Makers and 1/2 oz Pama, a really lovely pomegranate liqueur, over ice. I get really offended when bar tenders attempt to make a Manhattan with Makers.

    As far as scotch goes, Johnny Walker Red or Dewars with soda, or Johnny gold-through-blue (skip the black, red is better) with one large ice cube….

    • ALSO I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT. My new favorite Whiskey to drink on the rocks is Old Crow Reserve. I understand how many will get The Fear after hearing the Old Crow part, but the reserve is super smooth and super tasty. SUPER TASTY.

      • ….my whiskey-related memory is really fail right now.
        AMAZING, cheap scotch – Cutty Sark. I just got a handle of it for $25… IT IS SO GOOD.

  28. all of the cheap whiskies y’all listed are the expensive whiskies for me :x fuck college. if you’re poor like me, R&R or Canadian Club is the way to go. $10 for a fifth. i like to mix any whisky with ROOT BEER!!!!!

    • Yeah, people who are calling Jameson cheap whiskey are not in the same budget I am. Or just have a different booze budget.

      I like Jameson, I will drink it straight any day of the week. Or I’ll help people with their Jameson shots if I have to, like I did on NYE…

  29. Blargh. I don’t really like alcohol, personally, and I don’t drink. The idea of drinking whiskey does not appeal to me at all. I’m sorry. =/

  30. Well done on this post, everyone! I love it.

    It caused me to assess the contents and quality of our current at-home whiskey and scotch situation, which is more impressive than usual due to recent holiday acquisitions:

    RYE:
    High West Double Rye!
    (ri)1

    BOURBON:
    Eagle Rare Single Barrel
    Vintage Bourbon Small Batch
    Maker’s Mark

    WHISKEY:
    Jameson

    SCOTCH:
    Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban 12-Year Highland Single Malt
    Lagavulin 16-Year Islay Single Malt
    Macallan Amber Highland Single Malt
    Johnnie Walker Black

    If I could round out the above with some Pappy Van Winkle, Blanton’s, Hudson Manhattan Rye, Four Roses Single Barrel, and a TBD Lowlands scotch (still haven’t found “the one” despite a search two years and one trip to Scotland in the making), I’d be a sated girl indeed.

    • the four roses single barrel got me through the holidays!

      WHAT IS PAPPY VAN WINKLE did you guys make that up

      • So, we first had Pappy (20-year) in Cambridge with friends last April – a lovely place, Hungry Mother – and it was kind of unforgettable. People have a hell of a time hunting bottles down, even Cask is out and has a waiting list that is surely twelve miles long. A friend of mine told me of a place in SF that had it a little while ago, but we didn’t make it in time. UNICORN BOOZE.

        • Hungry mother? Oh yeah, I know that place. It’s about 12 miles from Skinny Puppy! I drank so much Papi VW, I woke up with a long beard and my Thirsty Kitty was so sore. Good times.

  31. PS. If you are in the SF Bay Area and looking for a lovely whiskey or scotch shopping experience, go to Cask in SF! Helpful staff, gorgeous little shop with an unbelievably well-curated selection, and if you aren’t closeby, they deliver to a handful of other states: http://www.caskstore.com/

  32. (though Laneia thinks Woodford “tastes like nipples”).

    Wait, what girl have you been hanging out with that has whiskey flavored nipples and what is her phone number?

    • I drink so much lovely vanilla oak Woodford Reserve that my flat supersensitive nipples taste that good! And you can find me on okc, name of JenniferAnniston. Lol.

  33. I love Whiskey, I prefer it straight and a fantastic Canadian Whisky is Gibson’s.

    An excellent mix (though really ice cubes are my preferred method) is Cranberry Juice.

    Cranberry Juice with whiskey on the rocks (ice) you’ll love it and its’ good for you lady bits :)

  34. UUUGH Elijah Craig! I miss that bourbon. When I lived in Ohio, I bought it all of the time because it was only $21 but SO OBVIOUSLY BETTER than all other whiskeys and bourbons at that price. And now I live in California and I’ve never seen it here. I haven’t looked that hard, I guess, and I just moved on to drinking exclusively Jameson instead, which is what I usually order at bars.

  35. Laneia, I also drink my whisky with three ice cubes in a mason jar! I feel like the specificity of this similarity is pretty awesome. (It’s always three ice cubes, because three is the best number for ice.)

  36. when i was in kentucky last may, i tried kentucky bourbon barrel ale. it was amazing. (i know this post is about whiskey, but that’s the closest i’ve had)

    • Yes, that beer is delicious! Thank you for bringing it up, it definitely has a place in this whiskey post. Brewed inside oak bourbon barrels, it tastes like buttery smoke melting on your tongue.

    • First off:
      KENTUCKY PRIDE! Most major landmarks in my relationship with my girlfriend involve whiskey: In the beginning there was Old Crow & Coke on the floor of a dorm room (followed by spooning), on Christmas there was Blanton’s, on Valentine’s Day Four Roses Single Barrel, and last night there were Manhattans with Woodford Reserve, which devolved into Old Forester on ice, which devolved into today’s headache.

      Do lesbians have feelings about whiskey? Clearly.

      Secondly:
      I never realized that so many people actually consider Maker’s Mark to be good bourbon. Maybe it’s just that they have a great ad campaign and distribute widely. But if you are already going the bourbon route, why not choose something in that price range that tastes a little better… like, anything?

      • (sorry, I meant to post that on the general board, not as a reply.) now I feel like an old person using the internet for the first time.

  37. Scotch + a dash Drambuie = life changing. It’s also called the Rusty Nail, which is pretty dope. Drambuie combines my love of whiskey and honey, as its a honey-heathered scotch based liqueur (one of the few liqueurs that packs a plus 40% punch! Boozy!)

    Also, Bourbon and Southern Comfort is a wining combo (called the Golden Nail in bar-talk). Or just making Old Fashions with a Bourbon base is pretty fantastic (sugar, bitters, lemon/lime).

  38. This is the reason why I grow only one thing in the garden – mint. I’ll do all the work for my wife to grow all her fancy vegetables and herbs, but I really don’t care about any of those.

    As long as I have mint for my mint juleps.

    • I suppose I should specify -usually with Makers Mark or Knob Creek. But thank you for all the handy suggestions about other things to try!

  39. Whiskey is my favorite, now that I’m an adult and avoid tequila like the plague. I’m a Jameson fan myself. Good in a shot glass with an orange juice chaser.

  40. Whisky, uggh, don’t like it, sorry.

    This reminds me of the short vacation I had on Helgoland, a taxfree rocky German North Sea Island a couple of hours off the German coast. It gets boatloads of daytrippers and they all go for the cheap booze. I scored points with the saleslady when I bought an expensive whisky, honestly I forgot which one from Scotland it was. I scored more points with my father when I gave it to him, he really likes the stuff. According to my mom he hoarded the bottle and did not share with anyone….

    Anyway, alcohol and I are unhappy partners but if I have to drink something it is port and in cold winters Berentzen’s Apfelkorn is nice just before bed. A glass of wine with dinner is ok too.

    But maybe, when it comes to whisky, it is just a matter of Nondum amabam, et amare amabam

  41. I like Jameson, all day, erry day. It’s nice enough to sip straight or with a little ice, but not so nice that I feel like a terrible person using it for my whiskey sours. In fact, Jameson has a bit of a citrus-y taste to it that makes it go splendidly with the lemon juice. And of course, never use sour mix. It tastes like floor cleaner. I will, however, buy bottles of simple syrup because even though its extremely easy to make, the homespun stuff does go bad. I bought my dad a bottle of Peat Monster, which is a scotch from Edinburgh I believe and it was like $50 at BevMo so I assumed it was good. He’s been on pain meds for surgery and can’t really smell or taste anything at the moment anyways so I’ve been considering helping him out and trying out the whole scotch+water thing.

  42. For a great Speyside Scotch, go with Cragganmore with a couple of drops of water. So smooth, yet so complex.

  43. I would just like to say that Wild Turkey and Canadian Mist (and PBR) are the official drinks of my college. I am suitably shamed.

  44. Basically the only awesome thing that came out of long adolescent stint in small-town Kentucky is my love, and I mean LOVE, of bourbon whiskey. I am a whiskey girl though and through.

  45. Completely seconding the love for Old Overholt. Super cheap, super tasty. I don’t drink a lot straight whiskey, but I do drink a lot of whiskey cocktails, and if you’re interested in moving past Manhattens and Old Fashioneds, I suggest Sazeracs and Vieux Carrés. Don’t bother making them yourself (too many random ingredients to invest in). Just go to a really excellent bar with a really excellent bartender and have them make them for you.

  46. This article is beautiful, also, very gay.

    I like Jameson for mixed drinks. Usually in Irish Coffee or over Ginger Ale (Jameson & Ginger).

    If we’re talking about a whiskey being served neat though, Bulleit Bourbon is super tasty. Not a huge fan of their Rye, it’s citrusy. Also I was bought up with Crown on the rocks as an after dinner drink, so I like that too.

    For group shots, there is no shame in the cheap stuff. However if you’re going to go to someone’s house and want to buy them a bottle, for fuck’s sake get them something a little nicer ($20 can get you a decent bottle of whiskey). Somebody gave me some cheap stuff once and after the initial first shot all I’ve ever used it for is sterilizing.

  47. I can’t drink Whisky anymore (Gluten Allergy) but my firm recommendations are “Compass Box” Whisky, especially their Asyla, for an easy drinking Whiskey, & “Peat Monster” and Nikka’s “From the Barrel” Whisky, which is my absoloute favourite.

  48. Oh god. I love this post.

    I am such an under =educated whiskey drinker. It is my favourite thing but I’ve never actually done any more with it than chilling a glass and drinking it solo. Or that one time I drank so many doubles and Coke at the drag show. That was fun…

    I LEARNED SO MUCH.

    Anywho, if we could somehow arrange a Whiskey Drinking Convention, I’d really like to drink whiskey with you – Laneia – and also Taylor and Marni. You’re all so especially whiskey passionate and I love it.

    It’s 3:20 p.m., that isn’t too early to have a little glass is it? I didn’t think so.

  49. CANADIAN MIST! I also drank Canadian Mist before 10am one year at Bonnaroo and it was GLORIOUS

  50. one time riese and marni and kelsey and i all quasi-lived together for a period of time and we collected so many bulleit bottles on top of the fridge that i really wish i had taken a picture because you would not believe it

  51. I would like to thank Laneia for bringing up Evan Williams. I’m a poor college student guys. I’m a poor college student who LOVES whiskey, mmSOMUCH. So as far as my little whiskey wings reach is Maker’s Mark provided by an older friend of mine who always has a stocked liquor cabinet, but doesn’t drink, and it was really nice, and I just drink it with an ice cube whenever I get to. Currently though, I’m not kidding, I have a little bottle of Jim Beam in my suitcase that is of the variety that I like to call so-shitty-only-alcoholics-will-drink-it, nothing makes my stomach roll worse than cheap whiskey. But still..

    I will praise Evan Williams though to the grave because it was really cheap, and I was genuinely surprised at the taste of it.

    • My legit favorite bar in Portland* uses Evan Williams for their well whiskey, instead of Old Crow like every other PDX bar. $3 wells on Thursdays get me in lots and lots of trouble.

      *(that’s a lie, it’s not my favorite bar, it’s just my favorite bar with 40 cent tofu buffalo – also known as ‘tofuffalo’ – wings)

  52. There’s a pub where I live that claims to have 500 types of whiskey. My goal is to try all of them.

  53. The most important fact is that you ACTUALLY use your Crown Royal bag to store your scrabble tiles, and then when you are drinking whisky by the fire and playing scrabble, you can remember all the other whisky times you’ve had and also have a royal looking bag for letters.

  54. I love some scotch, myself. I wouldn’t sit and sip a blended whiskey like Makers Mark but its excellent in mixed drinks.

    A few things I’ve learned that may be found useful:

    There is no such thing as whiskey “straight up”. Straight up means shaken with ice and strained, which you would never do to whisky/ey. The term is “neat”.

    Also, if you’re drinking something nice and/or want to experience the flavor, NEVER add ice. It dulls the flavor and dilutes the drink, destroying it. An experiment: Break a chocolate bar in half and put one half in the fridge and leave the other half on the counter. Come back in a while and taste both side by side. The one at room temp will be nice and tasty and the cold one will taste like a brick of wax. The only reason to put ice in is if its so shitty you have the dull the flavor to make it bearable enough to swallow, which is fine if you wanna get hammered but if you’d like the full culinary experience, skip the ice.

    I think someone else mentioned Glenmorangie. Glenmorangie is definitely a good whisky to try if you want to get into it. Its not to expensive and tastes like flowers and toffee candy. Yummy!

  55. It’s taken me 8 years to get back on the whiskey wagon after a bad experience when I was twenty (plastic jug Canadian whisky, I think it was Canadian Club)
    I have found a love for the new line of honey whiskeys/bourbons from Evan Williams and Wild Turkey. a bit sweeter, not as harsh and mixes oh so well with ginger ale. Also delicious as a hot toddy with hot water and lemon

    • Also, my brother bought himself a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue when he sold his house. Talk about smooth! No wonder it’s over 100 bucks a bottle!

  56. I’ve been a whiskey lover since I started drinking. I grew up in Kentucky, and my dad’s family comes from West Virginia. When I moved to California, I got a job working at a BevMo (which is a super liquor mart, basically). So when I drove back home to Kentuck to get my dog, I of course bought a box of booze to give out as gifts. For my friend TJ, I got a bottle of 18 year Highland Park, and it is smokey and salty and smooth and beautiful. For sharing, I got a bottle of the Glenrothes that was distilled in ’85 and bottled in ’00, I think. But it was fruity without being obnoxious, vanilla notes, and it was older than me, so, boss. But on our way to Texas, it spilled in the trunk, and more than half the bottle was gone. But also occupying that space was a trunkful of books we’d gotten at Borders’ closing sale, so now my copy of “I am America and so Can You” smells like Glenrothes.

  57. Oh, and for Tennessee whiskey, try Dickel. Still well-priced, and soooo much better than Jack. (Hooray for work-related whiskey tastings!)

  58. I love this post; I love whiskey. Jameson has been a past lover, but I’m totally up for meeting new… whiskeys?

    Anyways, I just wanted to share my love for this post in general. All the comments here are totally being taken into consideration. I love learning new things, and even more so with whiskey involved! This article is amazing. :)

  59. I didn’t read through all of the comments, so I apologize if I am repeating; however, I recommend trying YAMAZAKI (I always call it Yamakazi because it reminds me of kamikaze).

    It’s a Japanese Whisky. I shared a bottle over the holidays with a few seasoned Scotch drinkers, and even they agreed that it’s quite good.

    http://www.suntory.com/yamazaki/main.html

  60. To Taylor: I hate to admit that I am waaay past 20 something and just filled up an empty Bulleit bottle with water to keep beside my bed. (My cat knocks down water glasses and pitchers.) The cork makes it kitty proof and the water tastes like vanilla! Someone should alert criminal profilers that its a lesbian thing. I feel so predictable. I had multiple bottles at one point, so I took them out in the desert for target practice.

  61. Bulleit on the rocks will never lead you astray.

    And if you’re broke (like for realz) Wild Turkey, Wild Turkey, Wild Turkey!

  62. Lagavulin 16 years (yay Islay!).

    It’s like the scottish highlands are making sweet sweet love inside my mouth. After that, Caol Ila 12 years. Yup, I’m a single malt kind of gal (^_^).

  63. The timing of this article is perfect. I just finished a bottle of Jameson 12 Year Special Reserve I got for my birthday and I am looking to expand my whiskey horizons.

    Also, last night my crush asked me what I was doing. My answer: “Drinking whiskey and pining for you.” A little over the top? Perhaps, but I was feeling melodramatic so I went with it.

  64. All these years, I thought that Irish Mist was whiskey. Apparently I never bothered to properly read the bottle, but now that I’ve read the website, it turns out it’s whiskey liqueur. What is that? I don’t know. But it’s tasty and I kept a flask of it while writing my thesis, so.

    Aside that, I’ve liked Johnnie Walker Black.

    … I also don’t think I have any whiskey in the house right now. That should change.

  65. this is exactly the article i wanted right now! i’ve been trying to start on my journey to whiskey-land since i had a few good whiskey sours last time i ventured north to the bars of bc

  66. also, whiskey stones: AWESOME. def keeping in mind for my dad’s bday present this year

  67. powers is my favorite for everyday drinking, or paddy. or makers. oh man, this is hard.

  68. This is one of my favorite posts ever! I love so many whiskey/y/bourbons for so many reasons on so many occasions. That being said, my mood usually determines my preference amongst these delightful beverages (sweet vs spicy vs shit it’s cold in here)…..generally on the rocks with a splash of water. Jameson, Makers Mark, Woodford Reserve, and Crown Royal get an A in my book, both for taste and affordability. Either way, you drink you and enjoy many nights you probably won’t remember ;)

  69. “What’s the best way to drink whiskey besides straight?

    Gay.”

    OH THANK GOD YOU SAID IT I THOUGHT I’D HAVE TO SAY IT.

  70. Also, this entire paragraph pretty much sums it up:

    “I’ve usually enjoyed Maker’s Mark, foremost. When betraying my homestate but emphasizing loyalty to my ancestral homeland, I would opt for Jameson, which I like about equally. When betraying both and honoring our Noble Northern Neighbors, I sometimes drink Crown Royal, which comes in a great purple pouch that you can use for holding keepsakes, drugs, or more whiskey.”

  71. Hudson Whiskey Baby Bourbon is super expensive ($45 for 375 mL) but when you drink it you feel like it’s making out with your tongue.

  72. I drink whiskey when I want to seem sophisticated. Also at bars. Its some great stuff. Thank you for this piece

  73. I confess that as a Scot and a whisky drinker, my reaction to a lot of this is “Aw, bless…”

  74. I want to learn how to drink whiskey straight, I always get whiskey-sour if I want some whiskey in my system and it’s one of my favorite drinks!

    • My advice – three months later – is to get a drinkable whiskey (i.e. Makers, Jameson, or even Evan Williams if you’re on a really tight budget) and mix it with whatever mixer you prefer (I use Diet Coke). Start out with normal proportions and gradually increase until you are drinking mostly whiskey. If you don’t get sick and completely turned off the thought of whiskey, you’ll soon be able to drink it straight and even enjoy it.

      Not the classiest of advice, but it worked for this alcoholic who used to hate all hard liquor w/o mixers. (It took me years to realize that it wasn’t me, it was vodka. Fuck vodka. Worst way to fix a potato)

  75. My single malts of choice:
    Clynelish
    Port Ellen (if you can find it)
    Highland Park
    Talisker
    Lagavulin

    Thanks for this engaging post Autostraddle!

  76. Scotch drinkers! We have been gifted this bottle of something called Glen Moray Single Malt? Has anybody tried it? Since I don’t drink Scotch I have no idea where it lies on the scale, but I have a feeling it’s on the better side because I realllly like it.
    thoughts?

    • I’ve actually got some Glen Moray in the house right now, had it for years. It was a gift, and not something I’d’ve bought for myself, but it’s a nice mild Speyside – nothing special, but decent – according to Wikipedia it performs ‘modestly’ in Spirit ratings competitions. The company that owns the distillery mainly use the whisky in blends, but that doesn’t mean it’s rubbish, there are lots of good single malts in their own right used in blends too. I mostly use my Glen Moray for hot toddies but I Am A Snob.

      If you like Glen Moray, you might also want to try…

      – Balvenie (one of my favourites – the 12yo Doublewood is a sweet-spot of taste & value for money – good drunk straight, no water, and for God’s sake no ice!)
      – Glenrothes (expensive for its age but really lovely stuff – the cask strength need a spot of water to bring the flavour out)
      – Linkwood
      – Macallan (the advantage to this one is you should be able to find it even in the USA if that’s where you are, as it’s very well known. The Macallan is for my money the best of the ‘common’ whisky brands. The 10 yo is nothing special, but above that you’re onto a good solid drink)
      – Tamdhu

      Of these, you might find that in the US you can only get hold of Macallan and maybe Balvenie. But try any Speyside, basically, and you should be able to get through to what it is you like about Glen Moray. Alternatively, you might just like it ’cause it’s a Single Malt of a decent age, so don’t limit yourself!

  77. I went through a beautiful period of post-breakup alcoholism* and my best friend invented and or discovered the ambrosia of whiskey tonics.

    Whiskey + blackberry liqueur + simple syrup + 1 fat ice cube.

    The best part was that he was unemployed and living on my couch, so I would come home and the whiskey would be ready for me the moment I walked in the door.

    Oh my stars. I was an a blackberry haze for many months.

    *actually the alcoholism was related the the fact that she cut all ties with no reason and never bothered to break up with me….

  78. Bulleit is my favorite thing these days. And can we talk about how the empty Bulleit bottles make really good-looking, “oh, I just had it around” flower vases? They look especially nice with a single orange rose to match the label. Loved this post!

  79. I don’t drink whiskey, but touring the various distilleries around Kentucky is always a good time. In other news, I was driving to Lexington this morning and saw an Evan Williams truck pulled over on the side of the road and I thought of this article. That is all.

  80. Completely ignoring the whiskey and complimenting whoever created that chart. I LOVE your handwriting. If your day job doesn’t work out, you should consider graphic design or typography.

  81. This definitely makes whiskey more accessible to me as someone who has never been a big whiskey fan (to the great disappointment of my mother).

    One slightly OT question: Anyone who has/knows someone with a citrus allergy who knows some good substitutions for citrusy ingredients in cocktails? Specifically, I would like to know a substitution for the orange zest in the Spiced Whiskey recipe because THAT SHIT LOOKS DELICIOUS and I figured I’d get more of a response here than posting it in the original article.

  82. I’ll have to say Jameson, as I’m from a town in Ireland a few miles from the distillery.

    The name whiskey comes from ‘uisce beatha’ which means ‘the water of life’ – pretty accurate huh?

    I didn’t know the whiskey/whisky difference in spelling DESPITE having lived in Scotland for 4 years. Annnyway, spelling issues etc aside – Jameson’s is a pretty tasty whiskey, and my palate has been tuned to it so a lot of other whiskeys taste odd to me.

  83. Well, if anybody ever makes it down to my comment, I like to drink my whisky with green tea. I know, it sounds like the weirdest drink ever, but don’t knock it till you’ve tried it! It’s a great drink for those who don’t like the strong edge that whisky has that makes it hard for some people to down.

    Whisky Green Tea

    1 large glass (like those glasses you use for scotch)
    1 shot of whisky
    ice
    cheap bottled green tea with added sugar (preferably the type you find in asian grocery shops)

    Put the ice in the glass, then the shot of whisky (or more if you like it strong), then top the rest up with the green tea.

    My Singaporean friends showed me this, and so far everybody I introduced it to has liked it. You can also sub the whisky for cognac. Haven’t tried it with bourbon though.

  84. I just recently started drinking bourbon and highly recommend Jefferson’s Reserve. I think it might be expensive but I don’t know because it’s the only bourbon I have ever had.

    I had an unfortunate incident with Jameson about a year ago and ended up flat on my back in my foyer because I fell over trying to remove my boots. Also, my sweater was covered in stolen peanut butter and I couldn’t find my phone. The moral of this story is be careful with whiskey/bourbon/scotch.

  85. Sooo if anyone needs help putting this article into action, they’re welcome to come over. I’m an excellent teacher.

    And by teacher I mean drunk motherfucker.

  86. I hope someone has mentioned JIM BEAM. It’s the best CHEAP bourbon, plus you can get it in a lovely PLASTIC 750.

    Knob Creek is delicious, though.

  87. Jack Daniels HONEY is one of the best whiskeys. Delicioso. Drink it!

    Best way to drink whiskey: my friend taught me to ADD PORT WINE TO IT! It is AMAZING and it’s a delicious winter warm-you-up and get-you-drunk.

  88. Not sure if anyone has mentioned this one yet…it’s called a Washington Apple and it’s made with whiskey (of course) sour apple schnapps and cranberry juice. Soooooo good! But I like mine straight most of the time :)

  89. Three whiskys definitely worth drinking if you can get them:
    (1)Glenrothe. This is a Scottish whisky with a clear flavour my dad and I refer to as “fire-water”. It’s much less peaty than a lot of Scottish single malts. My dad has been collecting whiskys for several years, has tasted more of them than I can count without a calculator, and this was his favourite for several years.

    (2)Scapa is a single malt from Orkney which I’ve found really hard to buy outside of Scotland. It’s sweet and tastes a lot like honey (so much so that it reminds me a bit of a very harsh mead rather than a very smooth whisky). It’s absolutely my favourite whisky in the world, and I’ve only ever had one glass.

    (3)Penderyn is the only Welsh Whisky on the market, and worth trying just for that. I’ve only tried the Madeira Finish variety – it was sweet, complex, and utterly worth it.

    • Oh, right, and I forgot to add: Whisky sours are amazing. It makes me happy every time I see that someone else thinks so.

  90. Here in Venezuela is really common to drink whisky with coconut water… That’s the way my family drinkt it, therefore me too.. Its really tasty! you should try it someday if you haven’t.

    • What?! This sounds incredible. Trying it immediately. And by immediately, I mean as soon as I finish this major term paper I should be writing instead of commenting on 3 month old AS articles.

  91. aside from whiskey sour, Jameson with apple juice (like real pure apple cider style juice) is the best ever lazy whiskey drink.

  92. Love this post. Been on a whiskey/bourbon kick for awhile now where that is the only thing I will drink.

  93. for cheap whiskey i love REBEL YELL! you can find it at trader joe’s, drink it straight without cringing (much), and also yell. like a rebel. also sometimes the next day i call whiskey whoopskey……

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  95. drink it straight up, drink it with ice, drink it with coke: just drink it!
    whiskey makes the world a better place

  96. I just spent 10 minutes in the liquor aisle reskimming this article and picking bottles up and setting them back down. I am sure it looked ridiculous but I went with you, Laneia! Hope it is good! SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY HERE.

  97. I may get hate for this but I think Kentucky gentleman is the best it’s cheap and I think it tastes good straight and the only thing for me that tops Kentucky gentleman is jack

  98. Okay, so normally my “Go TO” (pardon me, I’m drunk) whiskeys are Knob Creek (because Laneia is my spirit animal… and Bulleit (because anyone fucking/loving Riese has great taste (pun intended.

    BUT YOU GALS/GUYS/ZIRS/I’ll call you whatever you identify with, because I love you ALL:
    Buffalo Trace Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey (I know, the straight part turned me off at first too) is totes obvs fabulous. I recommend it with a 6 nipple at salute. I mean, this has taken me about 30 minutes to write after 2 shots…on an empty stomach. i can’t lie to y’all. YES, I’m from the South, but we’re not all completely ignorant/unintelligent, anti-woman, racist rednecks. Surprise!

    I love everyone here (always, not the booze speaking) and I love the AS team. And I am happy to forgo drinking (which I love) every night in order to A.)support them monthly and B.) support the Indiegogo campaign. This shit is important y’all and to future y’alls. And to my sanity/wardrobe ;) No one else looks out for the LGBTQI community like Autostraddle and Riese and Rachel And LANEIA and A;ex. (Oh yeah, I’m old school.)

    Also, while I’m tipsy, Laniea, you’re awesome and I think we should hang out. I just can’t afford to fly to your area right now ;-)

    So, to any of the crayzay (<3) ASers who haven't donated yet – skip a strip show, skip a book store reading, quit staring at kittens, put down the book, get out from between her legs, and just DONATE!!! I've been around this blog since before if started. Go AutomMaticWin! I want to see it THRIVE, also I want Tink on A;ex's but, and on mine if they could find a way for that to happen.

    Anyway, I'm rambling. I love this whole team and community. We are strong.

    Clear eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!!!

    -kells

  99. Great article! But you def missed one and I feel that it would be a disservice to the drunkard community not to put in my two cents..I for one try and drink as cheap as I can without falling victim to some terrible Canadian shit or that one brand I forget the name it was an American whiskey but it was god awful shit…So I finally found a level ground..Heaven Hill is the angel of cheap whiskeys. It’s Jim Beams poorer, scrappy cousin who still retains a pretty smooth flavor and it’s 8$…Shit I’m in China now and I even found it here!

  100. thank you so much for this extensive whiskey/whisky/bourbon guideline!
    i love what you guys write and i totally appreciate all the positive whiskey sentiments!
    i myself am a big bulleit bourbon fan and glenfidditch

    good to know i am not the only one out there that has a love affair with dark liquor!

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