feature image via shutterstock
ever just log on
to chat with the carmax bot
coolcool me neither
sometimes i tear up
knowing my dog’s first google
would be the word ‘dog’
wish an unfriending
caused a notification
like a slide whistle
if i had siri
i’d ask her one thing daily:
where is flavortown
try this one weird trick
at finding true inner peace
delete your account
this is how it starts
been calling snapchat “snapshot”
soon i’ll be your dad
someone who’s not me
hulu-streamed interstellar
was it.. future me
#UNameItChallenge
will go down in history
as life’s greatest feat
on a dating app
“who wants to give me money”
was my “about me”
speaking of money
i’m out here connecting dots
on venmo romance
wish there were more ways
for content on instagram
maybe audio?
shout out to a friend
on their foray into sexts
bless you on this path
hey melbourne people
a lot of you follow me
what’s the dealio
the sims for twitter
a million dollar idea
to ruin us all
a town hall meeting
where we’re just reading our tweets
instead of concerns
or we’re all clubbing
live-tweeting the golden globes
music is pumping
anyway i’d play
who wants to fund this platform
leave us a comment
that one mailing list
when you don’t have it in you
to click unsubscribe
proud gmail owner
of the bakedziti account
forgot password tho
guess what has no chill
chrome’s ‘link devices’ feature
let a girl know damn
wacky 404s
are like big sips of water
on a desert hike
