Welcome to the sixth recap of the second season of The L Word: Generation Q, brought to you by the same network that brought you the original L Word, a show that finally lifted the curtain on second wave feminism’s best kept secret: that Gloria Steinem was close personal friends with Bette Porter’s Dad.
Episode 206, “Love Shack,” is definitely my favorite episode of the season and perhaps of the entire series! Some parts were a little messy and time remains a flat circle, but boi did I enjoy myself!
We begin our journey today on a gentle pathway full of exercisers, including our very own Micah and Dani, who are pausing their joint fitness adventure to discuss more important matters: namely, that CEO Dani is attempting to make her Dad’s company ethical and that MICAH HAD SEX WITH A WOMAN.
Dani: I thought you were gay!
Micah: Same, me too!
Dani: And I thought I was special!
Dani’s got lots of questions like: 1. Was it weird that it’s my ex-fiancee’s sister? 2. Was she better than me? Then Micah relays that somehow, he’s not spoken to Maribel in an entire week?!?
Let’s pause here to imagine a scenario in which you bang your go-to person (go-to-person /ˌɡō ˈto͞o/ˈpərs(ə)n/ : noun: INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN / 1. the person you text most frequently, 2. the person who would drive behind you to the car dealership to give you a ride home after you drop your car off, pick you up from surgery or have dinner with your Mom when she’s in town, 3. often a romantic partner, but not necessarily; can also be a family member or best friend) and then, afterwards, your communication goes immediately radio silent for A FULL WEEK. WHAT?!
If I were Micah I would be in the process of changing my name and putting a deposit down on a mansion in North Dakota.
Furthermore, Dani says she’s been having a “pseudo-sexual friendship with Gigi” and, like so many of us, thinks about Gigi all the time. Micah wants to meet Gigi but Dani’s nervous to be In Community with their friends, particularly Sophie and Finley. Micah explains that, as established by the OCCUPY DANA’S movement, she can’t let those two kiddos own the space she’s also entitled to occupy.
“I mean, I don’t think I’d punch Finley again,” Dani ponders, “But it’s possible.”
YO HO HO It’s the ALOCE SHOW for me! Alice emerges from an enormous plastic bubble to chat with her new Bestie, Sophie. They’re bonding over their messy post-breakup lives: Alice didn’t cry in the shower today, Sophie’s not seen Finley in a week, and Alice might ask Tom to join her at the lesbian bar for karaoke night.
Inviting a straight cis man to a lesbian karaoke night in which the main players involved in 5+ queer romantic storylines will certainly be present is a great way to test whether or not your boyfriend is interested in spending eternity in what Bette Porter famously called “this little incestuous hotbed of lesbian fucking inter-connectedness.”
And thus we go gently into the good karoake night at the Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern, where we will remain for some time! Finley’s been taking the train to tuna town with Brit all week. “I don’t know if I’m gonna marry them or anything.” Finley says of Brit, which I believe is our first acknowledgment of they/them pronouns existing on this program, “But they’re nice, they’re fun, and I feel like I’m finally moving on from Sophie, you know?”
Finley spots Sophie across the room — Sophie who she somehow! Has not seen! In a week! Although they live in the same apartment! — as Sophie slips into a booth with our new intergenerational friend group of fuck-ups.
Alice: I just sent Tom a you know, a casual text.
Shane: Good.
Alice: You know, I haven’t heard back.
Shane: What’d you text?
Alice: “Thinking of you”?
[everybody groans]
Sophie: Oh, honey…
Sophie now spots Finley, and Alice says now’s her chance to talk to Finley about, I am assuming, her interest in making #Sinley official. “Please no drama tonight,” says Shane. Nobody cares how much drama you want tonight Shane!!!!!!
“Just say thinking of you when you go over there,” Alice tells an en-route-to-Finley Sophie. “It really works.”
Bette ROLLS UP into the booth with peak Mommi energy and a playful demeanor that is jarringly warm. (Don’t worry she’s got plenty of time left to go cold!) She’s just done her vocal warmups in the car and is ready to perform!
Bette laments that ALL she does all day is chase people down. Shane delivers a sick burn: “Who are you chasing? Because I know it’s not Gigi.” It’s ARTISTS, Shane! Bette is an Art Hunter. She chases rebels and disruptors but nobody wants to show at her problematic gallery. For example: Pippa. Bette testifies that Pippa is …. everything. (She does not disclose that she volunteered to cut out her heart for Pippa in the very same episode where she flipped out at her daughter wanting to cut out her kidney for another noted artist, Marcus Allenwood.)
Alice commiserates that she is also trying to bone someone she works with, but Bette insists this is not about boning, it’s just about work. I think we all can agree that Bette is lying and it’s definitely about boning.
Speaking of people who are not boning, Sophie’s attempt to help Finley with microphone cords turns into full-blown lesbian hand sex. Like nobody can breathe and the only parts of their bodies they are aware of are the parts that are touching? The agony and the ecstasy is PALPABLE.
This highly erotic handplay is giving Sophie butterflies while Finley attempts to refuse the energy radiating in her direction, and eventually it must be asked — is Finley avoiding her? “No, of course not,” Finley says, unable to maintain standing posture.
Finley escapes to the back to complain to Tess that Sophie’s hitting on her which’s bad! Because now Finley is sweating and she didn’t wear deodorant today.
Finley: She just came in and sort of like, started hooking up Hexlar cables like some kind of cable goddess—
Tess: XLR. XLR Cables.
Finley: Whatever. I’m good at tools, not cables.
Tess has no advice on how Finley could potentially get over someone who she sees all the time — which I believe is Tess referencing her own feelings for Shane, a person who has done nothing but express explicit interest in Tess, despite Tess’s quasi-relationship with her ex Cherrie Peroni. Tess suggests, AS IF I AM NOT RIGHT HERE AND HATE IT, that Finley tell Sophie to “back off a little.” Finley says she’ll do exactly that and then qualifies that actually, she will not.
Meanwhile, Shane’s spilling to her pals that Cherrie Jaffe came by the other night (nobody is respecting Cherrie’s SURNAME CHANGE which was announced in SEASON THREE, the woman has been divorced for SIXTEEN YEARS), first to see Tess and then to see her, although she swears there was no hanky-panky during the Shane-Cherie Private Session.
Nobody believes Shane, womp womp. So we transition to discussing Bette’s disinterest in Gigi, a relationship she now claims “never really started” and “wasn’t exactly some epic meeting of the minds.” Ouch.
Bette has yet to inform Gigi of her disinterest, however. She’s pretty sure Gigi already knows that it’s not going anywhere, which is a thing you say when you don’t want to say “I ghosted her.”
Sophie tells Maribel that despite Finley’s insistence otherwise, Finley is absolutely 100% for sure avoiding her.
Maribel wants Sophie to sing, but she refuses, even though Maribel says she’s a great singer and we all know that Rosanny went to Julliard. Before any progress can be made on the musical front, however, guess who’s here??!!!
Gigi and Dani have taken one outfit and split it up between the two of them, which is also a form of lesbian sex. But as soon as Micah and Dani spot the table containing Sophie and Maribel, they both desperately want to leave. Gigi insists that they stay and reclaim their space. Gigi guides Dani towards the bar with a tender touch while glancing at Bette Porter.
Sorry Shane, this party is gonna be High Lesbian Drama and there’s nothing you can do to stop it!
As Micah heads in their direction, Maribel quickly informs Sophie that she and Micah did the horizontal mambo last week and before Sophie can thoroughly eviscerate her for withholding this information — look who’s here!?!? It’s Micah!!!!
Finley swings by to amp up the ambient discomfort levels and Micah asks her if she can be nice to Dani so they can all have a nice civilized time tonight. “Is she gonna punch me in the face again?” Finley asks.
“She hasn’t been able to rule that out,” Micah says. Finley requests Micah give her a heads up if there’s a jab coming her way.
“Okay, I get it,” Sophie smiles. “Everyone’s gonna be normal because there’s nothing to be weird about with any of us, right?”
Sophie takes an imaginary phone call on her hand in order to leave Micah and Maribel alone to have an awkward conversation. Micah notes that he’s not heard from Maribel in quite some time. She says she’s been swamped with the crisis at the border. He asks if she’d like to have lunch. She says she has to work. He asks if she wants a drink. She nods to indicate that she already has one. What is happening here?? Why won’t Maribel have an $18 lunch salad with Micah at the Urth Cafe???!! Anyhow, meanwhile I am sitting at a nearby table buying Micah a one way ticket from LAX to Bismarck just in case he needs it.