Welcome to the third recap of the second season of The L Word: Generation Q, brought to you by the same network that brought you The L Word, a show about an ostensibly straight but clearly dykey filmmaker who arrives in Los Angeles with her sketchy cylon boyfriend to acquire funding for their white savior documentary, accidentally falls in lesbian love with noted dragon heiress Helena Peabody, gifts her a large white paper bag containing two small British chocolates, gets fingerblasted at the tea station while Kit Porter and Betty perform an unforgivable song in the nearby recording studio, has passionate lesbian sex in a Malibu penthouse during an epic sunset, videotapes a sexual role-play session with aforementioned Helena Peabody and then uses the resulting film to file a sexual harassment lawsuit against Helena which is settled out-of-court and eventually leads Helena to be briefly cut off from her family riches and forced to a life of catering and gambling. She then returns to Los Angeles two years later as an out lesbian who has a short at Outfest, has hot tea and silent sex with Helena Peabody, gets mixed up in a truth-serum sting with mediocre novelist Jenny Schecter, dramatically storms out of a baby shower without reason and eventually lifts Helena from her knees, places her upon a kitchen counter, and holds a knife to her throat but in a sexy way before they break up thirty or so minutes later, thus condemning her to a Helena-free future but hey, at least she’s got that short in Outfest!
Well we have come to Episode 203: Luck Be a Lady, a recycled Episode title from a very beloved Season Four episode. I do not think this is my best recap ever but I did try really hard I promise.
I love how many stories they’re juggling this season so far and how many minor Season One characters are getting more airplay — this episode gave us a lot of Gigi, more Maribel and Micah (OTP) and more Tess! What fun!
Angie Poter-Kennard rushes home to open her laptop with the fervor of a passenger fleeing a 10-hour non-stop road trip because they really have to pee. In this metaphor, the laptop is a bathroom. I’m doing really good at this recap so far.
Turns out Angie, whose genetics should be a 50-50 split of noted artist Marcus Allenwood and noted White Person Tina Kennard, is somehow 51% Sudanese, 7% “other regions” of West Africa and South America, 20% European and 22% Native American? Umm what who did this graphic
Surprise! Angie has already received a message from Kayla Allenwood! Her half-sister! A real Johnny on the Spot, that one! Bette is gonna be thrilled!
At the homestead formerly known as DaSoMi’s and currently known as FiSoMi’s, Finley’s sharing some friendly scatalogical anecdotes with her crush, Sophie, while both emotionally damaged lesbians sweep up the physical mess in their shared home.
Finley asks if they can talk but Sophie says it’s too soon, which is likely the first time in her entire precious life on this wretched earth that she has declined a request to discuss her emotions.
We then hop on our tiny scooters and zoom across town to Natalice’s, where Alice is washing dishes with the fatalist spirit of a woman who is in a non-monogamous relationship that she wishes could be a monogamous relationship. Nat arrives home from her overnight date with news regarding a recent tree removal in the neighborhood.
Alice is like, hey I understand that you are the Lorax and you speak for the trees but let’s get down to the roots of it all! Nat admits she feels weird ’cause she slept with someone else last night. Alice puts on her best “this is okay” face, saying all she wants is for Nat to be happy, and Nat’s stoked re: that because she IS happy! “This is why we work!” Nat declares with ignorant glee.
Nat tells Alice she missed her but when she goes in for the makeout, Alice says she’d rather not engage in any tomfoolery until Nat has taken a second poly-cleansing shower.
We then hoverboard over to a Large Fancy Apartment Building where Bette and Gigi, dripping in sexual tension, desire and general emotions that I cannot believe are happening before my very eyes, are striding into the atrium with the confidence of two women at the peak of their Mommi Season.
They’re meeting up with Dani and her father to survey some real estate. Bette introduces Gigi as her girlfriend before seeing herself out so we can all just let that simmer for a moment.
We then ride a pony all the way to the LGBTQIA Center, where Micah’s about to start a new job and is nervous about his shirt. Luckily his future wife Maribel is there to assure him it’s an okay shirt, just like she asserted the first three times he asked about it. Maribel is having the best time because the Center has a free coffee shop right there in the lobby!
As Micah heads off into interviewland, Maribel teases that everybody loves his shirt and everybody is talking about it and they are so cute!!!!!! I am naming their children in my head!
What’s going on over at our favorite Dana Fairbanks Memorial Tavern? Shane is analyzing the books, Finley is finagling some promo bottles and Tess is very mad that Shane wrote her a check for $5k because she is not a charity case!! Tess really should just take the check. It was not too long ago that Shane arrived on this coast in a private jet and waltzed into a gorgeous post-modern apartment in the Hollywood Hills with a shimmering pool overlooking the gilded valleys of Los Angeles. Besides, Shane is a poker champion now.
“It’s not for you, it’s for your Mom,” Shane clarifies. Tess says she wanted to earn that $5k, but Shane says she will, and thus Tess quickly softens under Shane’s loving reassurance which is very sweet but also HAVE SEX
ANGIE IS SO EXCITED YOU GUYS
BECAUSE ANGIE HAS A HALF-SISTER AND SHE’S FIFTEEN AND SHE LIVES IN LOS ANGELES AND ANGIE REALLY WANTS TO MEET HER AND JORDI SAYS OK I WILL GO WITH YOU TO MEET HER SO YOU DON’T GET KIDNAPPED OR MUDERED AND ANGIE IS LIKE OMG YOU’D COME WITH AND SHE’S LIKE YES OF COURSE I WOULD AND SO THEY’RE GONNA MEET HER AND
Cut to a gorgeous castle in the sky with a rooftop pool and a 3,000-foot fitness center and beautiful views of all the big law firms in downtown L.A!
Gigi’s getting on with the Nunezes like gangbusters — comparing Rodolfo’s desire for his daughter to own a nice apartment to her father’s desires for her and speaking with both of them in Farsi which I do not understand but was delighted by nonetheless! Rodolfo wants Gigi to draw up the contract for the apartment. Gigi suavely turns to Dani and assures her that there’s no pressure, she’ll do whatever Dani says. Gigi is somehow flirting with not only Dani but also the very ground she walks upon and I do respect it.
Big news at The Aloce Show: a calendar in the background is turned to April, the first acknowledgement of a calendar month existing in the history of The L Word!
Sophie and Alice are still digging through what their potential fun segment could be — not Carpool Karaoke because Alice is in a twitter war with James Cordon and not “Man On The Street but gay” because Billy is already on the street being gay. I have an idea! It’s called “The Chart” and Alice could do segments like: teaching gay lingo to newly-out and consistently-unprofessional California University Chancellor Phyllis Kroll, learning how to say “cunnilingus” in sign language with noted Origami With Steel sculptress Jodi Lerner and being transphobic towards unappreciated camera boy Max Sweeeny.
Anyhow, Sophie inquires regarding Alice’s overall well-being. Alice says Nat had her first date with Marissa last night and Alice is completely and totally absolutely fine with it by which I mean, clearly not at all. When Nat texts to ask if it’s okay for her to go out with Marissa tomorrow night, Alice gives her the go-ahead but her face betrays her discomfort.
Honestly, Nat could be easing Alice into this new phase of their relationship a little bit more gently. Regardless of Alice’s problematic opinions on non-monogamy, witnessing your person enter the throes of New Relationship Energy with someone else — the part where you’re so gung-ho about a new partner that you need to see them all the time starting now — will likely be the most difficult element of this arrangement for Alice to deal with. It’s all happening very quickly!
At the LGBTQIA+ Center, Nat’s showing Micah around as he explains his specialty is helping families deal with grief, recalling his own father’s death when he was young. Nat says that’s super great wow yeah grief is bad and hard and sounds like a very neat thing to specialize in but ANYHOO she’s just really happy to have found “someone like him” for the center. Just say trans, Nat!!! They’ve got about a dozen trans clients, she explains, who will be so happy to meet with him, the Universal Trans Person.
Gonna go out on a limb here and suggest they hire more than one trans therapist for the G-ddamn LGBTQIA+ Center??
Back at Daddy Warbucks Manor, Dani’s signing the papers for her Castle in the Sky while Dad fondly recalls getting his first apartment with her Mom many years ago and also meeting Gigi several hours ago. He always imagined Dani would end up with someone like Gigi, he declares.
“Someone Persian?” Dani asks.
“Someone adventurous and gutsy,” he says.
“Someone like Mom?” Dani smiles to herself.
Dani suddenly remembers that all her worldly possessions remain at the house formerly known as DaSoMi’s. Clearly unlike me she does not have weekly anxiety dreams about being forced to suddenly leave her apartment without having time to pack, which would keep her in a constant state of awareness regarding the location of her possessions.
Daddy volunteers to take care of the Stuff at the Old House. Also, while they’re all here with his lawyer — who is named Ari because let’s make this confusing for Ari — there’s some more papers she can sign if she wants to, for funsies. An update to his will? Sign it! A DNR? Let’s sign it!
Y’all do not kill Dani’s father there is only so much this woman can be expected to endure in one season!
Well my dearest most intimate friends, it is time to return to one of our community’s most beloved pastimes, Watching Bette Porter Look At Art. Today, Gigi’s joining Our Lady of Porter on this winding journey into the annals of modern art, where Gigi’s curious how Bette determines if art is good or not.
Bette says good art asks questions and it should move you or change you or at least piss off the board of the CAC. Bette comes to this show to check out emerging artists and see if anything catches her eye. “Well, you catch my eye,” says Gigi, like a girlfriend who finds your interests hot but doesn’t find your interests actually interesting. It was in this moment that I shifted my chips away from Bette/Gigi and towards Dani/Gigi in the Grand Poker Game of Life.
Bette doesn’t seem particularly enchanted by Gigi, either, shifting between seeming bored and being patronizing, but even this early relationship ennui cannot penetrate the awe-inspiring impact of the work of Pippa Pascal, which Bette locates an stands in front of, bowled over by its majesty. She smiles, she laughs, she cries.
Gigi’s like, “are you okay?” and Bette is like SOB SOB This is the work of Pippa Pascal, I know it is!
Micah arrives at FiSoMi’s with a pizza and some disappointment regarding his day, which brings us into a small squabble!
Gay Squabble #12: Pony Play
In the Ring: Maribel vs. Micah
Content: Micah says his supervisor doesn’t think he can help anyone except trans clients “and it’s fucking demoralizing.” Maribel says it’s not, recalling earlier in her day when a white lady tried to lift her out of her chair and “hold [her] like a baby,” which falls into the category of “shit that happens to [her] all the time.” These are definitely horrifying, ableist things that happened to Maribel — but it’s unclear why any of this is relevant to Micah’s situation or why this has to be framed like this. She also notes once desiring a pony that her Mother did not procure for her, a sentiment I think we can all relate to.
Her final advice is — “people are dumb, they can’t read your mind, so use your damn voice if you want something different.” She adds, “seriously i am SORRY you have to help trans kids. it must be a REAL burden. You’re a saint AND a martyr!”
Finley apologizes on behalf of white people and Micah and Maribel are like 🙄
Who Wins? No
Back in ArtWorld, Bette’s gushing about Pippa Pascal who’s senior thesis at Bard was amazing because “nobody in the mainstream was making art about race and oppression and sexual violence,” but Bette never worked with her ’cause she was too famous.
Then, in 2000, Pippa wrote an Op-Ed in the New York Times calling out the art world for open racism and systematic anti-Blackness and then she vanished into the ether.
[Cue music]
UNTIL NOW!
Bette embraces Gigi like her little girl has just arrived home from her first day of school clutching a radiant red balloon.
Meanwhile at The Aloce Show, Alice is gabbing with Tom about the throuple with Gigi, which she says was inspired by tequila and deflated by “complications.” She acknowledges that Gigi is very hot and also that her and Nat are open again.
Tom says that non-monogamy is a no for him, because when he’s with someone he only sees them! If they were dating other people he’d only be able to see them and all his deepest fears about their activities with their dates. For example: going to the pumpkin patch together, a notorious location for activities like sticking donuts up your other girlfriend’s asshole and licking apple cider off each other’s nipples.
Bette dashes into her home to change for her next activity and is shocked to find her very own daughter in the living room, looking at her baby pictures.
Angie admits that she “did that DNA website thing” and Bette immediately flies off the handle. And we’re off!
Gay Squabble #13: WHO’S YOUR DADDY
In The Ring: Bette vs. Angie
Content: Bette’s furious that Angie sent her blood to the government without consent. Angie says she has a half-sister and she’s made plans to meet her. Bette says she doesn’t have a sister!
Who Wins? Angie, because she exits the argument with her dignity intact.
But Bette remains in the ring for her next match!
Gay Squabble #14: NO, I’M DADDY
In the Ring: Bette vs. Gigi
Bette answers the door in a huff, seemingly not wanting to be bothered by Gigi’s iced coffee delivery or overall personhood.
Bette: She went behind my back and she went on some fucking DNA website to find the identity of her donor.
Gigi: Oh, ok, is that a huge problem for you? Nat and I are open with the kids about their donor.
Bette: Okay well, this is different. We didn’t find Angie’s donor at a sperm bank. He was an ARITST that we knew and we promised him that he would be able to stay anonymous, okay? I really don’t know what to do right now.
Gigi: Maybe I can help. You know, Nat carried our kids, I didn’t, just like you didnt, so I can understand if you feel threatened.
Bette: I don’t.
Gigi: Okay. Maybe you feel like, I dunno, it diminishes your role as a Mom?
Bette: That’s not it, that’s not it.
Gigi: Okay. Maybe I’m projecting.
Bette: Yeah, maybe you are.
I’m always the Gigi in this situation (trying too hard to relate and help) and feel deeply pained on her behalf — even moreso when Angie calls down “Mom, who’s here?” and Bette calls back “No one!” Gigi’s insulted, and Bette says now’s just not a good time to meet Angie. The thing is that um…. they actually already met? At Jordi’s play? But okay! Bette says she can’t be bothered with deconstructing Gigi’s feelings, so Gigi sees herself out.
Who Wins? Gigi.
Once all alone with her woes, Bette calls Tina to leave a message and then eventually tells Angie it’s ok, she’ll take her to meet the potentially dangerous predator pretending to be her alleged half-sister. Angie says she’s sorry and they hug. Again what we have here is supreme emotional maturity displayed by a teenager.
Back at the LGBTQIA+ Center, noted employer of one (1) trans therapist, Micah asks Nat if maybe perhaps she could give him a client list that is not just trans people! Nat apologizes and says she will “diversify the roster.” Perhaps tomorrow he will have a fresh line-up of cis lesbians who can’t get over their ex and are also struggling with crushes on their barista, or maybe even a lesbian couple who are trying to get pregnant but haven’t had sex in seven months and one of them is always on her flip-phone.
Well well well, look who has a very cute office to match her very cute face: It’s Gigi! Dani arrives to pick up her keys, and Gigi says Bette relayed Dani’s Tragic Tale to her and she’s sorry it all happened. It’s cute of her to pretend like this salacious slice of lesbian drama only reached her via Bette when surely it would’ve been the Talk of the Town.
Dani says this isn’t what she wanted from her life but really is anybody getting what they want from their life?
Gigi tells Dani that what she really really needs is a night out, and Dani acknowledge that this is in fact true. Gigi also recommends Dani throw her keys into the GARBAGE because the best way to get over a breakup is to shed yourself of its related metals. I hope Dani’s keychain wasn’t a precious family heirloom from a since-deceased member of Sophie’s family.
Speaking of keys, Sophie’s drop right to the floor when she gets back to FiSoMi’s cause um, Dani’s movers came and took all her furniture. Finley tried to re-organize but unfortunately “didn’t have a lot to work with.” However, Finley is dedicated to making the most of this space and is fully capable of creating some inventive storage and furniture solutions!
The goddamn sofa is missing. “Obvious void,” Finley offers, but suggests getting a new sofa!
One thing Finley does have, however, is day-old pizza, although she unfortunately does not have red pepper flakes because Dani took those too. Another inconvenient truth is that the table is missing. “Everybody hated that table,” Finley rushes. “I liked that table,” Sophie counters.
“This is my life,” Sophie laments. “This is my fucking life. Empty, except for you.” My dearest and nearest friends…. IT’S TIME TO FIGHT!!!!! FINALLY!
Gay Squabble #15: It Feels Like I’m Coming Home
In the Ring: Finley vs. Sophie
Content:
Finley: You know you don’t HAVE to talk to me like that.
Sophie: Like what?
Finley: Like I’m an asshole.
Sophie: You kinda are.
Finley: Okay, I made a mistake.
Sophie: Okay now you’re just underselling because — really? You made a mistake?
Finley: I thought I was saving you, dude.
Our misguided white knight is on her way back to her proverbial tool shed when Sophie comes out with it: “Okay, fine. You saved me. You saved me, okay.” Finley says that Sophie is saying something nice in a mean way, which’s confusing to her, and Sophie declares “I’m confused.” Appropriate!
They touch, they part, Finley asks if she can just be forgiven and Sophie says she doesn’t know how. But they’re getting there.
Who Wins? Finley, fair and square.
Micah, because he is clearly in love with his fated bride, Maribel, has struck out into the wild west in the grand tradition of so many hearty cowboys who have seduced their future lovers through strategic enterprises involving the stables and the pure unbridled bliss of the open prairie desert.
It’s time for Angie’s big meet-up with her alleged half-sister and she’s got her entire family in tow: Bette, Shane and Alice. Angie requests they wait outside and stare at her through a large plate glass window, which alarms the OG Trio who do not realize that Angie is the most emotionally mature person in this show and absolutely could outsmart a geneology dot com kidnapper.
Alice: I think you’re gonna want me in there. I mean, I look pretty good today, pattern on pattern is in.
Shane: Says the church lady.
“I wish Tina were here,” Bette and many generations of Bettina shippers lament from the other side of the glass wall. “Of course she’s handling this whole thing with total grace while I’m biting Gigi’s head off for offering very reasonable advice.”
Angie and Kayla exchange some awkward Hellos before Angie sits down with her backpack and the two gals can get to gabbing!
Shane and Alice assure Bette that Angie’s a smart kid, she’s gonna be fine! Alice confides that Nat wants to keep fucking Marissa. Bette tells her to “shut it down,” and Alice says she can’t really do that ’cause it’s not like it’s gonna go away, if it’s not Marrisa it’ll be someone else. Remember when Bette shut down non-monogamy with Jodi and then cheated on her lol
Meanwhile indoors, Angie and Kayla are getting along like gangbusters but unfortunately we have NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.
LOOK AT STAR-CROSSED FUTURE HUSBAND AND WIFE ATOP PONIES IN THE MAJESTIC DESERT!!!!!
Over the river and through the woods we go and subsequently arrive at Dana’s Memorial Tavern for yet another round of Shane’s Poker Night. Our introduction to the evening is Tess’s leg emerging lavishly out the door of a fancy car as she passes two thwarted bar-goers and waltzes in to her tables! The bangs are swooped, the bar is stocked, the money is being distributed in envelopes.
Tess heads into the back and Shane spots a white male extra getting up and heading in that direction shortly thereafter. Suss.
It’s time for Dani’s Night Out with Gigig, and Gigi’s laughing about Dani punching Finley in the face! They discuss Dani’s Dad (she’s worried he may be sick) and Gigi’s family (seven brothers) and how it was lonely for Dani growing up after her mother died and they’re laughing and drinking and it’s so warm and easy.
As men are so often known to do — and continue to do, to this very day, even in this City of Angels — one comes over to hit on them, and Gigi explains that they are lesbians on a date, which predictably does little to deter him but eventually he returns to his man-box.
“I know this isn’t a date, but that was the fastest way to get rid of him,” Gigi explains. Dani says she so happy for Gigi and Bette but Gigi says she’s not sure it’s gonna work out and who cares about all that, she would like to learn more about Dani. I would like these two to begin a romantic and sexual relationship and I see no reason why all of us cannot have our needs met today.
We return to Poker Night to confirm nothing of interest to me personally is taking place. Shane asks Tess if she’s okay and Tess says she’s fine. OKAY HAVE SEX
What are you having for dinner? Good question. The answer for Alice is: martinis! She’s dining with her editor Tom but more pressingly, she’s spying on Nat’s date with Marissa. “This place is Hollywood, yo,” says Tom. Tom, with familiar gusto, extracts a laptop from his bag and begins asking Alice the important questions. For example — is she “a bisexual person”?
Alice is a bit distracted trying to find an optimal angle from which to absolutely torture herself, but confirms this orientation and asks if he is bisexual. “No, I did play soccer when I was younger, and there were a lot of thoughtful men,” he says. “But actually I am 100% heterosexual.” Tom remains adorably clueless, rambling about his ex marrying his friend and how he wouldn’t be able to separate sex from emotion and Alice is simply engaged in a warp-vision situation with Nat and Marissa. Alice is truly playing with fire here!!!
Marissa touches Nat’s hair and Alice begins a little panic attack and decides to exit the premises through the kitchen — Tom chases after her out into an empty alley where she can have a mental breakdown.
Alice: Nat’s here with her date.
Tom: What a horrible coincidence!
Alice: Tom.
Tom: OHHHHHH you totally set this up. Holy cow you totally set this up, that’s why we were sitting by the—
Alice: I had to see it. I had to see them. I had to see them in order to feel it.
Tom: Feel what?
Alice: Well it wasn’t — it’s not jealousy!
It’s not jealousy, she insists. In FACT, it is simply being stabbed in the heart and having all of her organs removed and extracted violently from her body. Tom suggests they put it in the book, which I love. Alice says she didn’t think seeing them would hurt this bad. She realizes, standing on the pavement outside a restaurant with her editor from the movie Clueless, that it’s over.
This just isn’t something she can do. And I wish we could get more here — wish we could explore, for example, how she’s likely got a lot of baggage from Dana, who left her for Lara after Alice had tried so very hard to be cool about them even being friends. But I’m also eager for Alice’s next step and kinda shipping her with Tom, so?
Back at Poker Palace, Shane bla bla Jack straight came in high yadda yadda counting her money. Tess says the man who followed her in the back groped her. Shane climbs atop her rescue animal and insists she finds the guy and I don’t know…. punch him?
Tess implores Shane to calm down and listen to her. She took care of it by taking a “rake” — a portion of the winning pot. It’s illegal but, she says, it is customary if a guy is winning too much or is a prick.
Tess apologizes profusely, but Shane’s not mad that Tess took a rake. She wishes Tess had taken more. Shane’s just glad Tess is okay. LOL they’re gonna get arrested eventually right?
Nat arrives home smelling of pussy juice and toasted ravioli to find Alice still in her very cute work blazer instead of sleeping, as she anticipated.
Alice: I can’t do it.
Nat: Okay, we don’t have to. We don’t have to.
Alice: Look, I don’t wanna change you, I don’t. And I can’t.
Nat: I love you, Alice.
Alice: I know.
Nat: I mean, it’s me and you.
Alice: You deserve someone who can do this with you.
Nat: No, no Alice believe me that’s not what I want. I want you.
Alice: I’m gonna go.
And that’s a wrap on Alice and Nat. It’s time for a closing musical montage!
Sophie arrives home and drops her keys… right into a bowl!!!! It’s a slam dunk with an assist from our very own Sarah Finley!!! The crowd goes wild!!
Angie is looking at pics of herself and then pulls a pic of Marcus Allenwood and a baby out of her back pocket.
Tess and Shane are counting their money like big ballers. Also Sounder III is there. Like in that painting of a poker game.
Sophie walks over to where Finley is standing in the kitchen and wraps her arms around Finley’s waist. AWWWWW!!!!!
Bette is googling Pippa Pascal. She calls Gigi, who silences the call — she’s still in the car with Dani, talking about her family. She reveals that her full name is Golnar Ghorbani but “Gigi’s just a nickname my Mom invented for stupid Americans in grade school.”
“I had the best time tonight,” Dani says. “And it really came out of nowhere.”
“The pleasure was all mine,” says Gigi.
OOOOPP surprise there are a lot of police cars outside Daddy’s Manor?!?!?! EEEYIKES
The Round-Up:
Gay Squabbles: 4 this episode, 15 total
Lesbian Sex Moments: 0 this episode, 2 total
Quote of the Week: Sophie’s face when Finley tells her that Dani took the red pepper
Comments
can any farsi speakers tell us what was said in the luxury skyscraper and also at the restaurant to the skeezy man?? thanks!!
Someone on Reddit said “that Persian guy came over, he was like do you believe in love at first sight? also he was like I want to marry you. Then Gigi was like poor guy, we are lesbians and we are on a date. As soon as he said can I join you, Gigi starting to curse at him in Farsi. Very bad words.” and “Dani’s father was like farsi is a beautiful language in his broken farsi and Gigi was like ohhh you guys are can speak farsi, your daughter looked like Iranians so I had my doubts about you guys being Iranian. And Dani was like my mom is from Iran and my dad is from Chile and how he doesn’t understand Farsi very well.”
thanks!!
i thought that the episode on showtime or amazon would have subtitles and it was just the screeners that didn’t so i was waiting to recap those scenes until this morning and was disappointed to learn that in fact they did not
unrelatedly, riese, who won gay squabble #12?? genuinely curious.
i love these recaps a lot!
Yes to GigixDani, no to AlicexTom because I don’t like either of them. Although maybe they deserve each other then? Unclear
excuse me, that’s donald faison. that’s turk. i ship alice and tom HARRRRRDDDD.
I also really like Donald Faison aka Turk aka the guy from Clueless! I think I’m kind of annoyed by the pairing because it has felt very obvious that they’ll likely become sort of Thing? But it’s not apparent why they would since they don’t have much in common or even much chemistry. His brand of humor doesn’t seem to fit into the show.
Gotta say, I called GIGI & DANI from the Season 2 teasers!I’m not too sure how I feel about them yet, but I’m gonna go ahead and say now that this pair’s connection feels the most genuine of all The L Word relationships (OG & GQ)! Maybe ’cause I’m just a sucker for queer relationships built with bilingual. If Gen Q is doing something right thus far, it’s Gigi & Dani’s development (individually & seemingly now together).
And to requote you from last week Riese, “Even if Sophie did truly want to choose Finley, how? After the public spectacle of it all? After being outed as a cheater and a liar in front of her entire family, her friends, Mr. Dani, Shane, Marissa, Marissa’s husband and Marissa’s girlfriend? All of the extras who braved a pandemic to be present for this wedding, who dutifully waited outside in their N-95 masks for their time to shine? Would anybody besides me and my Gen Q podcast co-hosts be rooting for them? Would they feel like the black sheep of their social network? Would anybody in their remote network ever feel comfortable pressing “like” on a photo of Sophie and Finley grinning in their luxurious backyard pool? Would they feel like they had to succeed as a couple in order to justify everything they blew up to get there? ‘Cause that’s not a healthy place to be either!” I love Sinley, but I think we’re gonna have to watch them answer to all of these questions, and I really hope they come out of it.
absolutely i think their connection feels really genuine!!! there was a tangible spark.
I really liked Dani and G.G. this episode buuuuuut I’ve also been shipping Bette and Dani since like episode one so I’m unsure. I also thought G.G. and Bette’s fight was stupid and weird that it seemed to have made G.G. reconsider their entire relationship? But if the show wants to do another threesome, those three are my vote!
Tess and Shane should get arrested and then have sex in a jail cell. I feel like that would be a really fun throwback to the original :P
And in things unrelated to sexual shenanigans, Angie and Jordie were very very cute this episode and I want to see more of them. I wish Jordie had been able to go with her to meet Kayla! If we’re listing secondary characters we want more of, Jordie is top of my list!
Now that you’ve said Bette/Gigi/Dani threesome, I’ll think of nothing else
Been saying this since the first episode when Gigi laid me out. Used to be a Tibette end-game shipper but I think Gigi is really better for Bette. She needs someone that can challenge her and immediately call her out on her bullshit. Would honestly make her an evolved human. But, they both need a buffer or they would scorch each other out with their awesomeness. Come in Dani, who already has a crush on Bette and is now liking Gigi. She would make their relationship balance out.
Gigi x Bette: would end in a glorious fiery burnout, which we would all love to see. Because gawdamn the two have my heart and some other bits too.
Bette x Dani: Bette would be constantly talking down to Dani, and Dani wouldn’t be able to call her on her bullshit because she adores the ground Bette works. It’s like Bette and Tina early original season, except Dani is much younger, and a power dynamic would be there. It would like Gigi x Bette pairing end in disaster, only with lots of crying and things broken.
Gigi x Dani: the only single pairing that could potentially work. But Dani is half in love with Bette. Bette will always be the third person in that relationship, even though they are not going to acknowledge it. We know from the previews Gigi is still going to be seeing Bette in the upcoming episodes so even if they broke up, Bette’s shadow would still be hanging over the relationship.
Therefore, the best pairing is Gigi x Bette x Dani. But, I don’t think the writers would go there, even though there’s enough foreshadowing to make it plausible. Bette telling Alice she can “cut that shit out” had me like oh. Also, didn’t Bette make Jodi commit to not seeing other people in the OG. It could be portrayed as a growth or something.
But, we will see Bette sleep with Pippa, which I am praying isn’t in a cheating scenario, and a plot to parallel Gigi cheating on Bette with Dani, which will be effin gross and just an all round mess. It’s 2021; can we have open honesty and respect for one significant other(s)? I’m done speaking.
Riese, this is very specific but your intro made me laugh so hard that I went to slap my actual literal knee and almost broke my Gameboy in the process because I had to fully sit it down in my lap to focus on your recap but also forgot I was even playing it because, again, very funny intro. Cannot believe the OG series exists in any concrete way sometimes. Feels fever dreamy. (Also I multi-task but not well, do not @ me)
MINA I AM SO PLEASED TO HAVE AMUSED YOU to this level and also that your gameboy survived
Not Gigi hitting Bette with all the love languages inside of 20 min and then turning around and making Dani really smile and laugh for the first time post wedding-that-wasn’t (or kind of ever in a relationship maybe?) She’s simply too much, and idk how Nat and Alice haven’t woken up in mourning every day since they dismissed her.
Dani being a kid who mostly went to sleepovers to have breakfast with the parents to abate her grief makes a lot of things about her make sense and also was a way more intimate admission than anything we know she told Sophie and idk man I just think Gigi and Dani could be good for each other.
Angie better get an office right next to Micah’s at this rate. She handles being Bette Porter’s child like a pro and I thank her for her service.
Micah and Maribel riding horses together has cleared my skin and released the exact same flood of chemicals that a mid-range holiday romance film gives me.
Tess and Shane please stop wasting precious romantic time on trying to end up arrested unless it’s going to lead to a very Helena×Dusty moment.
Shane having money for 5k advances and new poker tables and cigars but also being almost broke and too pinched to get security for her private but also packed events is…not a math I understand. And also I can’t care about poker, I’m not strong enough. I’m still wondering if there’s a 50k net loss in Eddy’s bank at the end of the night or if this is a no Black people allowed citywide poker night, thus leaving her profits largely unaffected.
love this recap
especially this: “Micah and Maribel riding horses together has cleared my skin and released the exact same flood of chemicals that a mid-range holiday romance film gives me.”
Is this the first episode in The L Word’s history with 0 [sic!] Lesbian Sex Moments?
according to the database in the og series we also had no sex in 108, 202, 212, 303, 304, 311, 401, 403 (we had like bette reaching over to nadia but no ensuring sex scene) 405, 409, 508, 511 or 604 ; or in 106 of generation q!
That is some oddly specific data and I absolutely love that it exists. A little bit surprising as well, I truly thought that there was no sexless og episode…
Stellar recap Riese!
There was a lot I liked in this episode! The contrast between Gigi/Bette & Gigi/Dani was both blunt but also kinda well done in terms of giving me confidence the writers may actually understand the real things that make people connect?!
I was almost as delighted to see the return of Better Porter Art Face as I was to see those giant weird sleeves! If OG Bette was all about outsized collars, could sleeves be Gen Q Bette’s thing? Would like to see more exploration of this.
Also! The whole scene with Bette and Gigi at the art show really made me think about how art gallery/museum chemistry is a really overlooked aspect of both romantic and platonic relationships. I think you can have a good time with most people, but having great museum experiences with someone is a rare and magical thing to be held onto forever.
The final thing that was a mystery to me: why was Kayla Allenwood on the DNA database?! She clearly knows who her family is unless she got adopted by the only other Allenwood in town! I hope we won’t discover that Angie has some impossibly rare Allenwood-specific genetic condition!
yes museum chemistry is very important! i feel like i had a whole relationship once based on the utter thrill i experienced knowing that i’d finally found someone who wouldn’t zoom through a museum ahead of me
People do DNA test to find out their ancestral origins not necessarily relatives. Maybe especially people who are mixed or afro-descendant as it is often harder to find that information in another way because of slavery.
RIP GiBette. Your intertwined tongues will live on in my heart.
Admittedly, I didn’t understand how the pending Gigi/Dani relationship (Giani? Gini?) would work but now I’m with it. Damn it Gigi is such an open sensual alpha take charge mama bear sweetheart and that’s exactly what Dani wants (hell me too!), which explains her crush on Bette to an extent (Bette ain’t so open) and why she and Sophie don’t work.
I’m insanely curious to see how Bette behaves while in a relationship with a black woman. From my experience as a darker-skinned black woman, the relationship dynamics with a passing biracial woman can be beautiful, infuriating, eye-opening but also excruciating. It’s even trickier if said biracial woman has infrequently if ever dated black women nor had many if any black friends (close or otherwise). If the writers are willing to go there and be respectful of it, this could be very compelling.
Lastly, I’m so shipping Micah and Maribel.
omg. I have been chasing Bettes all my life, but what I really need is a Gigi. Rooty Poot, you have just changed my life.
Yeah, I’ve been a bloodhound for Bette types for 95% of my gay life. Admission is the first step. Congrats! Stay strong!
brilliantly written made me laugh and why didnt bette call tina when angie squabble about the new sister debate and why is alice changing into jenny ewwwww wat a thought and alice has gone from thrupple to nat to maybe not nat to being alone its like a domino effect shane and tess awwwwwww sophie abd fin yay settle please and gigi dani oooohhhhh very nice stay away from bette shes on a mission to try and get over tina *sobs wails opens bottle drinks said bottle dies* the end
Gigi and Dani would be so interesting and hot!
Do you know if Helena appears this season or not?
And Alice’s story is a mess…give her a good girlfriend!
I absolutely love the recaps. So well written and humorous. I wish some of grammatical/spelling errors were fixed, but I’m an English teacher so I notice these things. :)
you can tell me the spelling errors and i will fix them!
I absolutely love the recaps. So well written and humorous. I wish some of the grammatical/spelling errors were fixed, but I’m an English teacher so I notice these things. :)
To be fair I find this season kinda meh but I watch it anyway just so I can read your recaps !
SHOWTIME ARE U READING THIS
Love the recaps! Although, I’m a bit surprised that everyone is so optimistic about the re-boot. I agree with ClaraZorEl, everything is “meh” (except for Gigi and Maribel). I so long for the days of witty banter at the Planet…or honestly just any banter or laughing or smiles at all. It feels like everything is so heavy….and boring. Where’s the fun, mischief, and deep friendship that we loved so much in the original???
Yes, exaaaactly. It is very boring, too self-serious, and just not fun or warm.
imo maribel’s advice to Micah made sense in the context of how much armor she has and how easy it is to embarrass someone as well adjusted as Micah into action. There’s a reason she’s ignoring the self flagellating house member. I just loved that Micah picked a snarky way to thank/get back at her.
And as much as I like watching sophie muddle through her feelings with everyone, I wish we saw her talk to her grandmother. She only really talked to her mother last ep, and her grandma was the one who told her “you’re strong enough to leave” last season only for Sophie to remarkably fail at that.
All i wanna say about “sinley” is if they’re gonna play with us before it combusts, we better see finley building more tables while sophie watches her ass like a woman having her every need waited on lol
The satisfaction of you providing all the callbacks we desire/deserve. Why won’t the show ever do this? We just want sweet little figs and poopy shit coffee. And Tasha. That’s actually all I want.
i used to want them to bring back tasha but at this point i would even settle for them simply acknowledging that she once existed
“Tess quickly softens under Shane’s loving reassurance which is very sweet but also HAVE SEX”
YES, THIS.
Also, am I the only one who thinks/noticed that Tess kinda resembles Paige from the original series (Kristanna Loken), whom Shane almost settled down with?
Ok wasn’t Micah a college professor last season? When did he become a social worker/counselor? I mean I like this storyline the show is giving him and would def watch a spinoff about this LGBTQ center…but also I am confused about what happened there.
Also, pumpkin patching, lol.
As someone getting a PhD in social, this is educated guess- Micah was a social work professor, but he was very likely at the lecturer level, and maybe just an adjunct. He was also likely a clinical social work professor, which means he need his clinical license to teach, and therefore has the proper licensure to see patients, as well. Many clinical social work profs who aren’t tenured both teach and see patients.
Loving these recaps so so much! That “No, I’m Daddy” title for one of the squabbles totally had me. Haha. So stoked for the rest of the season.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but now that we’re getting into season 2, I’m finally able to confirm for myself that I do not like this re-boot. Now, I’m gonna watch it all, for sure. But I have the following issues with it.
1.) The structure ensures there is not time for real character development. In the original, there were a lot of characters, but they were all involved in each other’s lives in a direct way, such that the plot points flowed into each other and there was time for deeper exploration. This show has so many disjointed plots and people who technically know each other but don’t really have much to do with each other so that their stories are taking place completely separately. That means there’s each person kinda gets checked in on for a bit, and then it’s on to the next. Any sense of their actual interior lives is really left up to speculation on the viewer’s part. This gives the show a rather shallow feeling.
2.) There’s very little real humor or levity. The original was a mess, but there were so many laugh out loud moments. I would argue that the original was more in line with Sex & the City in that yes, it was serious but it was a comedy every chance it could get. A silly one at that. I could never imagine a vampire date in this series. This show could never give us an intro where one of the characters wakes up from a nightmare of the sickly dog they adopted for trickery purposes coming back from the dead to seek revenge. Which brings me to…
3.) It is entirely too self-serious. It wants us to know that it knows all the right words, that it has never even thought a problematic thought, and that anyone who has should be downright ashamed. When it really tries to go there with the dialogue, it can sometimes feel like watching verified Twitter accounts retweeting each other’s obvious takes like “racism is bad” and expecting us to be like wow you are so evolved and courageous.
4.) The characters are too nice. I mean, not every show has to be Breaking Bad, but I feel like they don’t want to make anyone the bad guy. Every conflict so far can be broken down to like “this politically liberal person, who is to some greater or lesser degree very financially well off, has problems, but ultimately they’re a good person who is just trying to do the right thing”. Boring.
5.) No class analysis or consciousness. Even the struggling characters aren’t really struggling in any way that feels true to life. Shane, the character who was the most working class of the original, is just randomly rich now and that’s supposed to make her…cool? idk what but I feel like we’re supposed to think it’s badass and I’m like meh.
So….I’m sorry, I really don’t wanna tell anyone not to enjoy it. I think if you enjoy it and think it’s good, that’s good! You are probably finding ways to connect with it that I’m not and that’s totally valid. But for me, it’s really a miss and it makes me sad that it doesn’t have the flavor of the original, despite all it’s problems. I feel like perhaps in their effort to make up for the sins of the past, they kinda threw out the good as well. I also think, based on some of the things I’ve seen it do really WELL, that the writers might have a better shot at making it a great show if it wasn’t hampered by the structural and logistical demands of the large, disconnected cast.
I do like Maribel though. I would love to see more of her character and really get insight into her life and her motivations because I think the actor does a great job making her feel really warm and sincere. Anyway, sorry guys!
Pretty much what Gigi said to the guy in Persian was she’s a lesbian on a date with Dani. Then told the guy he is a son of a dog(it’s an insult) & what loosely translates to dumbass; if I remember it all correctly.
the two of them got drunk AF and then Gigi was driving?! Can someone explain it to me pls? Here in Europe you cannot drive even after one drink, you have to have zero alcohol in blood.
OK this made me SUPER curious, so I looked it up on Wikipedia. Generally the level for a DUI (Driving Under the Influence) in the US is 0.08 on the breathalyzer, which is apparently the same as in Malta. The rest of Europe seems to vary between 0.02 and 0.05, with a few 0.00, and some countries who differentiate between new drivers (0.00) and experienced drivers (0.02 or 0.05). Fascinating!
(for reference, I can have three glasses of wine over a long dinner and be slightly under the limit according to the breathalyzer I got for Christmas a few years ago, but I do not generally feel like I really *should* drive anywhere on three drinks.)
that truly is fascinating
lol same, this also triggered me very much as an european. why not call a cab?
if someone her size had 2-3 drinks and then drove, she could absolutely blow over a .08. like there are charts and stuff saying what you can drink before driving but they’re not always accurate, i know people who have drank that much and blown that high many hours later… so it was probably not the greatest thing for this show to low-key endorse. but i assume they did it bc they wanted both of them in the same car for dramatic purposes
I guess drinking water stops you being drunk!
Gigi and Dani! Can’t believe I didn’t see it coming, but now that it’s happening I’m like…who else! It’s perfect.
Also please someone (really!) explain to me why the Tess/Shane poker storyline is happening. What is the moral of the story kids?! I don’t like where it’s headed and I’m worried for Tess.
I feel you on this. I also feel like it’s ripe for a story line where Shane also get in trouble either by the law or someone else who host poker events.
Hi Riese, love your recaps so much. They make me laugh out loud as much as the actual episodes do every time. I just wanted to mention I think there have only been 2 total sex scenes thus far this season, and on your tally at the end of the recap you said there had been 3 so far. Small little detail I noticed! Thank you for doing these every week :)
yes you are correct! i will correct!
Is it just me or was this episode super boring? Things just feel very predictable?
Surprisingly I’m liking Dani a lot more though and Dani + GiGi really makes sense.
I’m super dreading the Alice/Tom storyline. I don’t see any chemistry and I feel like they’re trying to really make a point of Alice’s bisexuality in such a forced way. (And also ignoring her change of identity that happened in the original). It’s weird, and I’m not really here for it.
What do you mean “change of identity that happened in the original”? Because if memory serves, Leisha Hailey said in an interview that Alice’s bisexuality was mysteriously never mentioned again after, like, season 3. The show never explicitly stated that she was no longer bisexual.
IIRC, when Alice is called in to testify on the nature of her relationship with Tasha during Tasha’s DADT trial, the military prosecutor asks Alice if she’s a lesbian, and Alice replies in the affirmative.
She mentioned identifying as a lesbian several times during the original series- one was when she was with Tasha in court or something – and was asked if she was a lesbian. Responded with “last time I checked”. Also other instances of referring to “coming to her senses” in reference to her sexuality.
To me it seems like they’re trying to over correct their history of negative bisexual representation by undoing her gay identity. So definitely not feeling this storyline at all. I think exploring bisexuality with Michah makes more sense in context, not to mention a less offensive take.
Yeah, I feel like Alice never said anything about how she identified changing, but it was pretty clear that she wasn’t interested in men much after season 1, which is a thing that happens in real life as well. So it does feel a bit strange to see someone who eventually came to be read as, if not a lesbian, a bisexual who was primarily interested in sexual/emotional relationships with women, being somewhat pointedly opening back up to men. This show really has that tendency to just kinda hit us over the head with things. It’s not just you either, I think this whole show is boring. I wrote an essay about how much I hate it a few comments up that no one has touched lol.
I dont know how to feel about gigi and dani just yet, i guess we’ll see. Also looks like they are making dani suffer so much this season :(
I feel like sophie isn’t taking any responsibility for why her life has blown up and is instead just mad at finely. yes finely shouldn’t have stopped the wedding but also maybe you shouldn’t have cheated, lied about it and almost marry dani???? I still ship sophie and finely tho.
I NEED tess and shane to happen. Also Micah and Maribel are so fucking cute together. The Micah and Maribel squabble made no sense. Like i could see what the writers were going for but it was badly executed. And I’m so confused as to why the LGBTQIA+ center only has one trans therapist- I guess that like the show :/
Overall great recap as always riese. The captions on the photos are always my favorite part.
“I still ship Sophie and Finley tho” really sums up my feelings abt this storyline. Is it a mess? Yes. Does it make sense for them to be in a relationship after all that? Not really. Do I care? Nope! They’re cute and that’s what matters to me as a TLWGQ viewer.
I feel so bad for Alice and upset that Nat is getting written as the villain. Also. One would think they would’ve already discussed polyamory? Like early on in their relationship? Certainly before the moving in together stage? But I do appreciate that Nat is a therapist with a chaotic relationship. I like that.
Gigi and Dani, Micha and Mirabel, and Tess and Shane are the only people with rights in this show.
AND I SWEAR TO GODDESS IF THE WRITERS MAKE DANI SAD AND GO THROUGH ANGST ONE MORE TIME I’M GONNA SCREAM BECAUSE SHE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER
(uGH Micah I can’t type)
Honestly I’m kinda shipping Alice and Tom? He feels kind of out of place on the show with his cartoonish personality, but it might be good for Alice to have a partner who’s a little goofy. Alice is such a bubbly character, yet all of her previous girlfriends were uptight in different ways (not that I didn’t love them). I wanna see her with someone who she can just have fun with.
i think so too! the actors are fun scene partners!!
Amazing recap! I’d also like to acknowledge the paper towel rolls on Bette’s sleeves at the art exhibition. That was a choice.
Gigi hits all of Bette’s criteria and Bette still doesn’t want her – so perfect.
My very specific nitpick. You have to be at least 18 to send your information (or someone else’s) to the Government’s DNA Collection Department. I doubt Marcus Allenwood or his sweet wife would want to submit Kayla’s spit, and in the spirit of anonymity the 15 year-old wouldn’t have known daddy came in a cup.
I guess another thing… how much time has passed between the previous episode and this one? Did Nat and Alice talk at all, set ground rules? How do we go from Nat talking about exploring being poly to her fucking Marissa the next day?
The L Word, man. Doesn’t matter which edition, things just don’t add up.
How much time has passed between the two episodes is also a question I was asking myself ! It felt so jarring because I had the impression I was missing half the information and I even paused the episode several times to go check the synopsis online because I thought I’d somehow gotten my hands on 204 instead of 203. (Yes, 204 isn’t even released yet but accidentally watching an unreleased episode made more sense to me than whatever was happening in this episode 😶)
Hello, this is everyone’s weekly reminder that Shane does not deserve Tess. Along with the original reasons of having fucked her girlfriend, shown zero sympathy or support for Tess’s subsequent relapse (in fact she initially berated her for it and threatened her job) and the shitty power dynamics of being her boss, we now have:
– Invited straight men to a private party at her bar, a place which should be a safe space for women
– Watched said straight man follow her employee into the back, a place which presumably he is not allowed, and did precisely nothing
I hope we’re not about to see Shane do some sort of white-knighting and be rewarded for it, that would be gross. I say all of this as somebody who loves Shane most of the time but TESS. DESERVES. BETTER.
PS I would also like Finley to have an actual fucking storyline besides being blamed by Sophie for the fact that Sophie cheated on her fiancee and didn’t tell her
PPS What the hell does Dani do for a job since Bette lost the campaign? Are we to assume a driven, ambitious, career-driven woman has been content to live off her father’s money for the past six months?
I loved this episode and I thought this recap was wonderful as usual!! Thanks for being responsible for my weekly burst of laughter, Riese! Now I want to believe that Kayla asked Angie about Lez Girls, that’s what they were talking about.
And also,
“LOOK AT STAR-CROSSED FUTURE HUSBAND AND WIFE ATOP PONIES IN THE MAJESTIC DESERT!!!!!” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!! Forever grateful for this OTP idea you gave to us for free!