Micah’s admiring Jose’s work when a white man with spiky hair — a man you may remember from his previous appearance on the series as “shirtless man smoking a joint by the pool on the day Jose cancelled his date with Micah” — introduces himself to Micah while admiring how much Jose’s work has “evolved.”
Then!!! The man introduces himself as Jose’s husband. YIKES!!! Jose turns, sees them talking, and knows immediately what’s up. Micah looks back at him, cold as ice.
It doesn’t feel to me like Jose was cheating on his husband with Micah — I’m guessing this is an open relationship. But, being married is a BIG FUCKING SECRET to keep from Micah, especially after Micah has been so vulnerable and open with Jose. He took Jose to meet his Mom! Also, didn’t Jose know his husband was gonna be at the art show?
A cover of Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek” begins playing, with its apt opening line Where are we? What the hell is going on?
Y’all! My friends and countrypeople! FINLEY IS RETURNING THE BIKE.
This is why she needed the pen and paper:
What a relief. Probably this girl has already bought a new bike, but still.
It’s a dark afternoon of the soul at Bette’s House of Paincakes, where Angie arrives home to find her mother crying on the couch with her clothes on, uninterested in nourishment or entertainment. Angie’s gonna be the Mom now: she tells Bette it’s okay to be sad and gets her out of “bed” and on location in one of the crests/hills/valleys of this fine city. (Seems to be Runyon Canyon.) It’s a place Angie goes sometimes with Jordi or when she wants to feel sad about Auntie Kit or Tina. That’s where I go to feel sad about Tina too.
Angie always wondered when her Mom would finally let herself feel sad about, you know, how literally everybody everybody she knows has died and/or left except Alice Piesecki. “If I truly let myself grieve, then that would mean saying a final goodbye and I wasn’t ready to do that,” Bette acknowledges. “I guess I just tried to outrun my feelings.” And how! Bette’s been visited by so much tragedy. She’s lost her mother, her father, her sister. Her wife left her. One of her best friends died suddenly of breast cancer, one of her frenemies committed suicide in her backyard. What else can any of us do but run.
That’s what everybody does! That’s how you survive in the world! Just shove it down!
We recorded episode 310 today for the podcast, and there’s a part where Bette tells strangers at the bus stop (listen, it’s a real mess of a season) that when she’s hurt or in pain, she buries herself in work or a task. “I was just running away,” she realizes, and tells them. Old habits die hard. But also…
That’s how you survive in the world. Just shove it down.
Angie admits she’s sad about Tina tying the big K-N-O-T with Carrie Bradshaw ’cause just like all ye TIbetters out there, “a tiny part of me always hoped that you two would get back together.”
Here’s a lil something Angie might not know about her Mama: once upon a time in a land far far away, Bette went to a silent retreat* and it* didn’t** go*** well****.
*Dana
**died
***Tina
****fucked henry
One thing Bette took away from the silent retreat [Throwback #23: Silent Retreat Bette attended in Episodes 307-309, which’s also where the bus stop scene I mentioned was] besides the raw, unfettered access to her despair over Tina’s desire to explore sexual intimacy with men, was how to scream really loud in nature! Somebody’s going to call the police.
It’s time for one last Aloce Show and Cousin Heather’s warming up the crowd. Finley tells Alice she’s gonna kill it and they hug.
Then, there she is, face-to-face with Sophie somehow for the first time since the sex scene. Sophie starts, “I’m sorry but—” and then Finley does that thing people do in television programs where they interrupt you as if they have no desire to know what you were planning to say!
Anyhow, Finley’s got plans of her own: she’s going home to Missouri.
Is it because of us?
LOL no of course not hahahah why would it be about how we are super into each other and had really fun vulnerable sober sex and lolololol now you’re gonna marry Dani at the Hilton Hawaiian Village Waikiki Beach resort lololol!!! It’s not about your wedding it’s about my sister’s wedding wow!
Are you coming back?
Yeah! Yeah sure. I mean, Gen Q was renewed for Season 2, of course she’s coming back LOL! They exchange deep, meaningful glances.
“Catch you on the flipside, bud,” Finley says. It’s a real dagger of a line.
Then, Finley heads up the stairs to flee the set prior to their grand finale — but then she stops. She looks back.
Sophie looks back. Sophie decides to go get her. She steps forward — AND THEN DREW INTERRUPTS HER BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE CAN HAPPEN and says she’s needed on set.
Back in the splendorous daylight of Los Angeles’s gorgeous hills and canyons, Bette’s curious if Angie and Jordi are you know, having sex, which Angie does NOT want to discuss. Bette hopes that Angie knows sex is supposed to feel good for both of you and if she’s scared or feeling pressured, it’ll be bad sex. Angie cannot handle this conversation. “Can this be over now?”
Angie spots a cute dog and also… its cute owner! It’s Maya, the reporter, who admits she was really pulling for Bette, but since Bette lost, she’ll settle for grabbing dinner with Bette?
Angie is THRILLED. They’re so fucking cute! I know a daughter shouldn’t have to mother her mother, but the way she does it is so compassionate and perceptive, and the way Bette mothers is normally so air-tight that I think she’s allowed to lose her shit sometimes. Angie’s a great kid. I love her.
YOOOOO GUESS WHO’S ON THE ALOCE SHOW Y’ALL???? IT’S ROXANE GAY!!!! They’re talking about Bad Feminist and Alice would like to talk about making space in feminism for women to be flawed, but also to care. Furthermore, Alice has a question: “Can you be a bad queer?”
“These days to be a bad queer is probably to want to want a wife and two kids and a picket fence,” Roxane sagely replies.
Alice says she might be a “bad queer” because she failed at throupledom. Roxane has probably talked about Bad Feminist on 400 different talk shows already and seems entertained by this tangent. Alice tells her about the thruple and how she wanted to be this “cool evolved queer woman,” which Roxane affirms is pretty high on the scale of “1 to What the Fuck” but — it turns out that Alice just wants to be with Nat! Just Nat! It’s like…. everybody … has forgotten… about me? I feel like Roxane Gay needs to meet Gigi.
Good news: Nat’s here! “I’m here,” she says. She was waiting in Alice’s office but then heard Alice talking about her so she’s here.
Alice asks the camera to cut and Drew confirms and Sophie stops him — “keep rolling, we need this.” You guys I have bad news: Drew is bad at viral videos! This scenario is one flashmob, a 5-year old with exceptional singing talent and a naked Gigi away from getting mentioned on The Ellen Show. Nat asks if she can come up and everybody says no except Sophie who again, says yes, rushing Nat onstage. Roxane Is like YES GIRLS LET’S DO THIS.
“I lost a marriage because I was afraid to fight for what I wanted.” Nat confesses to Alice, “and I’m not going to make the same mistake twice. I love you, I am in love with you. And I feel like my complete and total self when i’m with you. And you make me laugh even when I’m mad, which is so fucking annoying.”
Every now and then we flash back to Sophie, who’s either thinking about how Finley makes her laugh even when she’s mad or about how Dani makes her laugh even when she’s mad.
Nat says Alice is the best (we know), like so great that she tried to make it work with Nat’s ex-wife to make Nat happy (but the thruple was Alice’s idea? I’m confused) and Nat loves her and would fight for her!
Then they tongue kiss and the crowd goes wild! I love this viral video twist for them
Which brings us to our concluding montage. Friends, my heart was RACING! We begin with Sophie in the back of a Lyft, thinking about times gone by. Then we find Dani, already settled in at the JetBlue terminal in a very expensive outfit. Then we travel back to DaSoMi’s, where Jose’s pounding on the door and Micah is NOT having it. Then we are back in the car, with Sophie, who is pensive, crying, thinking about aforementioned times gone by.
Meanwhile on the mean streets of Los Angeles, Shane spots a dog eating garbage. We all know where this is going: Shane is going to convince this dog to adopt Babe the pig as her own and teach Babe how to herd sheep as a way to prove himself to farmer Arthur Hoggett.
Meanwhile on the shiny fancy streets of Los Angeles, Bette Porter is showing up for a dinner date with certified hot reporter Maya while her daughter Angelica shares headphones with Jordi, probably to watch the Palex storyline on Degrassi.
The diverse array of humans employed by The Aloce Show have vacated the premises, leaving Alice alone to have a deep makeout with her one + only, Nat. Back at the living hellscape of the Los Angeles Airport, Sophie arrives, terrified; while Finley, already inside, heads up the escalator.
Sophie looks at the departures board — finding her flight to Honolulu, leaving at 9:05 PM. Then, she looks up a little higher — and finds the flight to Kansas City, Missouri. Leaving at 9:05 PM.
Shane starts talking to her dog, which I unfortunately absolutely cannot address at this time. Sophie goes up the escalator. Finley, in true Airport Tomboy tradition, plops down on the floor with her headphones in.
Dani’s growing concerned about her betrothed’s lack of arrival and, seemingly, her non-responsiveness on mobile telephone.
Sophie, infused with a solid sense of anxious purpose, starts mall-walking and then running. Where’s she going?
Finley is waiting. Boarding begins for the flight to Missouri.
Sophie is running.
Dani is waiting. Boarding is in progress for the flight to Honolulu.
It’s the final boarding call for Kansas City.
It’s the final boarding call for Honolulu.
Sophie stops running. She sees someone. She starts to smile.
The end!!!!!!!
The Round Up:
Sexy Moments: 1 this episode, 16 total
Squabbles: 1 this episode, 26 total
Throwbacks: 2 this episode, 23 total
Quote of the Week: “You are like… the world’s worst Catholic! Don’t you know how to shove it down? Just like, way down? And never talk about it?… That’s what everybody does! It’s how you survive in the world! Just shove it down!” – Finley
Well, friends that’s it! This week we’re running THREE entire roundtables about The L Word; Generation Q so you can continue to process it all, and perhaps other adjacent content as well. If you’ve enjoyed these recaps, we highly encourage you to help us keep the lights on by joining A+ or making a donation. Also, you can continue to enjoy my L Word commentary on the hit podcast “To L and Back,” Carly and I will be returning February 3rd with new episodes about old episodes!