Dani’s marching in to her Dad’s office building to scream at him on a public stairwell, with Sophie trailing behind her telling her to maybe not don’t if perhaps no. Dad’s got his shirt unbuttoned to reveal a little chest hair. He says the lawyers told him that clause was standard.
Now, Sophie’s getting in on the fight, asking if it’s standard for straight couples — but truly, you can’t yell at your partner’s Dad! Not yet, at least. Wait until he’s your father-in-law.
“There’s not going to be a pre-nup,” yells Dani. “Have I made myself clear?” She shoves the envelope back at him with the energy Shane employed to shove those tapes onto Mark’s chest and he yells at them to wait as they walk out. It’s gonna be a busy day at the office water cooler!
At Kit + Denny’s, Shane’s pouring herself a morning straight-up glass of scotch and is not sure if she can trust Tess to run this place ’cause she missed a liquor shipment this morning.
Lesbian Squabble #15: You’ve Messed With the Wrong Bitch, Bitch
In the Ring: Tess vs. Shane
Content: Tess is like, WELL SHANE I’m not sure if I can trust you because YOU FUCKED MY GIRLFRIEND. Shane acknowledges that this is fair. She does not mention that Lena TOLD HER THAT TESS AND HER WERE OVER but I guess at this point that really doesn’t matter and did Shane even believe her? And even if it was true, it’d still be SUPER FUCKED UP to hook up with your employee’s VERY RECENT EX who is also your employee. Okay there’s no way around this. Thanks for going on this journey with me.
Anyhow, Shane apologizes and hopes she can make it up to her some day. Tess says Finley’s gonna cover for Lena, who took off, which Shane says is a very bad idea and Tess will have to keep an eye on Finley. “Sure thing, boss!” Tess sarcastically shoots while keeping her eye on a bottle of alcohol.
Who Wins? Tess.
As Shane walks out of the room I got to thinking about how you grow up and you have so much more responsibility than you did when you were younger but if you don’t get locked into a long-term committed relationship by your early-to-mid thirties, often your behavior out there in the lawless world of singledom doesn’t mature as fast as your responsibility has. You’re not the worker anymore, you’re the owner. You’re not running an art gallery, you’re running for mayor. You don’t have a video show you call a “podcast” on a website that never actually works, you have a National/Regional Late Night Coffee Drinking Show. But sometimes your personal affairs are just as messy as ever (often because you spent the first 5-10 years of your dating life dating men and another 5 figuring out how to be queer). You’re still making the same mistakes — but now the consequences are so much more serious! And it’s not just your own shitty life you’ve ruined, now. It reverberates. Our real-life mistakes are rarely quite as egregious or dramatic as the ones we see on teevee shows like this one, but still. I got to thinking!
Over at Rebecca’s garden home, Finley’s super sorry for coming over drunk, but Rebecca’s not mad about that! She’s mad about what Finley said. But Finley doesn’t recall telling Rebecca that she’s not a real priest and that she’s in love with her. Upon learning that this is in fact what she said, Finley’s too overwhelmed by emotions and the implications of those statements to even consider ’em, and you can see her face contorting to avoid it — shame, crying, caring, any of it.
Rebecca: “Oh sweet girl, you have so much you haven’t dealt with.”
Finley: “I wanna be better and you make me wanna be better.”
Rebecca: “I was with a guy once and I stayed with him for way too long because I was waiting for him to change. And he said stop trying to fix me. And he was right. You can’t fix people.”
Finley’s more curious about the guy part than the rest of it and Rebecca spots that evasion like a fucking HAWK. This is an EMOTIONALLY MATURE woman who has DEALT WITH HER SHIT who’s ready for marriage and babies and Finley wants that stuff too — she doesn’t know when, but, “just tell me what to do,” she pleads, trying not to cry. She wants words to say or an action to take. Rebecca wants a person just a little farther along in self-awareness. Finley takes some deep breaths, wheels her bike a little farther down the road, and makes the VERY bad decision to call her Dad.
In one minute her Dad manages to reveal that her sister’s been engaged for three months and that he’s kinda gotta go, but he loves her, bye. Aw, buddy. This isn’t gonna end well.
Sophie and Dani are driving along the fine interstate highways and biways of this GORGEOUS SUNNY city, and Sophie’s itching to discuss that intense situation in which Dani really impressed her, and Dani needs time to process. “Thank you so much for standing up to him like that, it meant a lot to me,” Sophie tells her. No response from Dani. LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
Lesbian Squabble #16: There’s Not a Lot For You to Give if You’re Giving In
In the Ring: Dani vs. Sophie
Content: Dani just doesn’t wanna talk right now! Sophie says that was intense and amazing. “What are you feeling?” She asks Dani. Dani doesn’t know. It might help to talk about it! Dani doesn’t have anything to say. Well what are you feeling. Dani doesn’t know. You’re not thinking anything? Nope. It’s just quiet? Yep. What happens next time? There won’t be a next time! Yes there will! AHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHH.
“I know that he doesn’t think I’m good enough for you,” Sophie cries, like something that’s been building up for a long time.
Sophie suggests a strong united core to be resilient in the face of Daddy and also boundaries. DANI DOESN’T WANNA TALK RIGHT NOW she just needs to be alone to clear her head.
Who Wins? The sound of silence.
I’ve been pretty harsh on the directions of relationship-related arguments on this program, but what they did with Finley and Rebecca and what they’re doing here is resonant. How one deals with one’s emotions — whether that be avoiding them, needing time to process them, confronting and growing out of them, addressing them immediately — can often come right up against how one’s partner deals with theirs, and major conflicts can come out of that. Finley’s just not ready, psychologically, for what Rebecca is ready to give, and that can be a real reason to call things off! Meanwhile, Sophie’s an immediate processor and Dani’s an I-need-time girl. As Co-Star would say, they’re going to have to work to understand each other’s moods and emotions.
Cut to a little interstitial I had to eventually watch on mute ’cause hearing Tess go come on come on come on pick up pick up pick up over and over was like someone sticking a needle into my ear? I don’t know why! Is this ASMR.
Micah and Jose are doing SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS with their cell phones while chatting about oh hahahah of course Jose got into the art show! Look at his shirts! They’re all art. Jose, like a loon who has been dating Micah for more than five minutes is like, “do you love me?” and Micah’s like mmmm…. well, I’m not REALLY sure what we’re doing here, so I’m not in a great spot to fall madly in love!
Jose’s never been able to talk to anyone like this before. “It’s just so different with you,” he says, without being too extra about it. Micah smiles. “Well, I used to be a lesbian before, so.” Micah says he’s not actually good at sharing feelings but Jose’s like “look dude, you could be me, the guy who said ‘I love you’ this morning” LOL.
Let’s move on and get down to business: sexy business. There’s something Micah wants to try but he’s scared ’cause what if Jose likes it and he hates it???? By the way they are NOT talking about knife play.
Queer Sexy Moment #13: Afternoon Delight
The Players: Micah and Jose
The Pick-Up: “So what do you want to do?”
Hot or Not? Yes! It’s like everybody is communicating – verbally and otherwise — Jose’s hands down the front of Micah’s pants and then slowly but surely Jose is on top of Micah and we are going for it! Everybody seems to be having a nice time! Hot.
Over at Kit + Denny’s, Tess is dancing casually between the tables like she’s working at The Max.
Finley strolls in sad, sunshine streams in behind her thus inspiring me to realize that this lesbian bar is PACKED in the mid-afternoon. Finley reveals to Tess that although she promised to fill in, she can’t mix drinks. All she can pour is shots. So can Tess! For … herself?
Finley’s not so sure that it’s okay for Tess to drink? Tess says “now it is” and five seconds later, Finley and Tess are dancing behind the bar, which’d be cute as hell (they’re so cute dancing together!) if it didn’t come in the same package as Tess breaking her sobriety.
Cut to a beautiful scenic overlook, where Bette has arrived to break Felicity’s heart just after Felicity tells her she got her own apartment and Bette can come over now for some fresh-cooked meals straight from Felicity’s sweet lil heart!
Lesbian Squabble #16: I Lie To Me Too
In the Ring: Bette vs. Felicity
Content: This has to end, says Bette. She lied to Angie, they promised to end this for the campaign! Felicity blew up her whole life for Bette! Oh please, says Bette, her marriage already sucked. Way harsh, Bette! “How can you possibly say that you love me when you’re willing to put me at risk?” Bette asks, as if this whole thing didn’t put them both at risk and people who love each other don’t put each other at risk all the time! Felicity wants Bette to fight for them. Bette’s not gonna do that. Felicity doesn’t know what she should do now. “I don’t know, but I do know that you will get through this,” says Bette. Uhhh…. yikes? Um, that was …. a VERY brief lesbian breakup?
Who Wins? Dani.
It’s time for NEW THROUPLE RULES!!! Like one: don’t pick up Gigi’s phone, if it’s her Mom Alice should leave it alone.
Other topics covered include: swim meets (Alice hates em), red carpet events (should we attend together and wear our gowns and get ready in the bathroom like gal pals? Let’s table it, says Alice) and are we gonna tell the kids? (Gigi says yes. Nat says no. Gigi’s done lying. Nat is like, “Oh interesting, now that’s a convenient time to give that up, your favorite hobby.” !!!!) Alice says it’s just a game. Is it? What’s happening.
They decide to all just hang out and see what happens, starting with ordering some Thai Food. I am FASCINATED to see how this relationship evolves. There might be some major benefits to this relationship for these three very busy and very attractive women. Love this thruple visibility.
