Have I mentioned lately how much I love this damn show? Oh, I did? Last week? Well, I’m going to mention it again because I do what I want. I love that The Fosters doesn’t desexualize Stef and Lena, because most parents on TV are just pretty roommates, and that’s especially true when you’re talking about TV shows with big teenage audiences, and it could be especially-especially true when you’re talking about a lesbian couple because networks are still so inexplicably weird about same-sex couples showing any kind of affection. But nope! Not The Fosters! Stef and Lena are always trying to figure out how to be intimate with each other while also doing all the things that need to be done to pay the bills while also keeping all of their children from setting themselves on fire while also saving the world outside their house.
The sixth sense is gaydar, Lena.
I love you, but no. The sixth sense is Lesbian Intuition.
But I also love that The Fosters shows these teenagers groping each other with desperation because they’re going to be apart for two whole days, and it does it without being patronizing. Because that’s what it’s like to be a teenager, I remember, and it’s really rare to find a group of writers who can show both sides of that sex coin without being condescending about one of them.
It’s really rare to find show that can talk about actual sex at all, and super rare to find a show that just tell the truth about actual sex without acting like Cotton Mather is watching over their shoulder.
What Would Stef Do?
On the way up the mountain, Lena tries to get Jesus to talk to her about something. Anything. She’s mostly interested in his girlfriend or wrestling or school, but after exactly three nanoseconds of prodding, he drops the drama bomb that Ana is pregnant and he knows about it because he’s been sneaking around and trying to help her and peeping in on her AA meetings. Lena, fresh off her hurt feelings, tells Jesus he’s in big trouble, mister, for going to that meeting without permission, but also he needs to tell Stef about Ana and how he broke the rules, and but not tell Stef he told Lena first. Jesus thinks she’s doing him a solid, helping him find a way to make Stef less angry, but actually Lena is — what we call in my house — “Pulling a Stef.” (We used to call it “Pulling a Coach” in honor of Eric Taylor, but Stef has taken over the prestigious role now.)
Hopefully neither of us get run under by a car!
At the campground, Mariana sets up a full Mona Vanderwaal-style glamping experience. Air mattress. Hair dryer and curling iron that plug into the car. Battery-powered candelabra. The whole deal. It is nicer than half the shitholes Callie has been forced to live in for much of her life. Jude and Brandon and Jesus are sharing a tent without all the glamor. Well, except for Jesus’ “HAYLEY 4 LYFE” tattoo that Jude sees when he unzips the tent and Jesus is inside there taking selfies. Jude is like, “Oh, moms are for sure going to murder you.” And Jesus is like, “Not everyone can have a heart made of literal gold and magical elfin earnestness, Jude!” He threatens to kill Jude if he dimes him out to their moms, but Jude just smiles and leaves because he knows if anyone ever killed him, Connor would kill them right back.
Lena and Stef set up their tent far enough away from the kids that maybe Stef can get a twerking lesson later tonight, but not so far that Stef can’t punch a grizzly bear in the nose if it tries to mess with her children. Stef gives Lena a little taste of what she’s in for later tonight and it is: Left Shark. Left Shark is what Lena is in for later tonight. Aww, but Lena is into it. She didn’t need to see Stef gyrate awkwardly around to know she’s a Left Shark. Lena knew all along, and she loves her anyway.
It’s called Secret Dystopian Robot Theme. I taught it to Mariana.
I sure do love you to the moon and back, you big dummy.
They try to smooch, but their kids come tromping through the campsite with rafts and swimsuits, making more noise than a banshee convention. Jesus is wearing a wetsuit, which Mariana saves him from having to explain by saying science things about UV rays and the dangers of sunscreen. Everyone goes frolicking into the lake except for Jude because Callie explains that lake water isn’t like pool water and so swimming in them is a whole other, very dangerous ballgame. Quicksand practically. For some reason, Mariana doesn’t swoop in and explain the molecular construct of water and how Callie is talking nonsense, so Jude Charlie Browns away from the watering hole feeling sad and over-protected.
If you think Stef and Lena are going to use their free time to snuggle, you are wrong. Jesus has dropped the news about Ana and Lena keeps being like, “Wow! JUST WOW! I have never heard such a thing, and certainly not this specific thing! Wow, Stef, I tell ya! And one more thing, I hope Jesus knows there will be punishment for his misbeahvior, and that I, alone, will be doling it out. Whoo-whee, wow.” Stef is too preoccupied with wondering if Mike is the father of Ana’s baby to notice that Lena is acting like an insane person. She is so preoccupied, in fact, that she spends ten minutes frantically rooting around in her bag looking for her phone so she can call Mike and yell at him, no matter whether he’s the father or not. Lena finally confiscates everyone’s phones and insists they go fishing for dinner.
I think you should at least consider the idea of us going to A-Camp, Lena!
They catch a fish. Just the one. And everyone has to have at least one bite! Good thing they brought a cooler full of snacks and store-bought meats.
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This episode was magnificent, made only more so by this magnificent recap. My jaw is still on the floor from the #LenaTwerking business.
I know! Me too! It delights me to no end that ABC Family used to be the Family Channel as was founded by notorious homophobe Pat Robertson!
Stef and Lena are so wonderful, loving and sexy! I am forever disappointed by the lack of hot fanfic for them.
Yeah, where is THAT fan fic? I would read the hell out of that!
I’ve found a few sexy fics but not nearly as many as there should be! :P
Great recap!
One thing I love endlessly about the lack of sexytimes between Lena and Stef on this show is that it’s totally organic. There’s actually a clear running gag about how frequently their sex life gets thwarted since they have 34 children, and it’s refreshing that for once that just feels realistic instead of uptight about lady lovin’. That pan to a sleeping Hayley in their tent was beautifully executed.
I, too, feel a lot of the Coach/Tami vibe between Lena and Stef and I love it. I continue to think this show is wildly underrated.
I also agree that it’s widely underrated. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it’s on ABC Family and also we, as a culture, are just super uncomfortable with so much earnestness.
I agree with you about it being underrated because it’s on ABC Family. When I first heard about Switched at Birth, I was wary of watching it because I had preconceived notions of the type of shows that would be on ABC Family. But it’s an amazing show and it deals with complex issues really well. Same thing with Chasing Life. I think that all three of those shows (The Fosters, Switched at Birth, Chasing Life) are very feminist. And I think that a lot of people are missing out on phenomenal shows because of their ideas of the network.
Oh, I completely agree. There are amazing feminist elements in all of those shows. Pretty Little Liars, too, but that’s a whole other beast.
Thank you for the recap! I also cheered when Lena said “That’s heteronormative” on television. This show is perfect, and your recaps are also perfect like Jude and Lena. And I am so looking forward to Jude and Connor being adorable next episode.
Lauren, I thank you — but no one is as perfect as Jude! :)!
When Lena said “That’s heteronormative” I started clapping. Then I had to rewind cause my clapping made me miss the next line.
Also, Lena twerking! She was hands down the MVP of the episode.
She’s the MVP of my life, honestly. I meditate on her serenity at least once a day.
Yay! Someone else cries during every single episode of this show!
I usually don’t even make it to the pancakes in the credits without bursting into tears.