Hello lovelies! Here is how I know my dog is too good for this world: he really, really wants me to play so he’s sitting behind me on the sofa, being very quiet and good, thumping his tail every three minutes or so, so I won’t forget he’s there. Hang on, buddy! I’m almost done!
This week, The Bold Type healed our hearts with a love story, and Kayla recapped it.
Here are some ways you can help people in Texas, from Straddler Marissandrist.
DO NOT PATCH THE HOLES IN YOUR WALL WITH WHITEOUT, as I once did when I was twelve! Jenna’s here to tell us how to do it properly.
In this week’s AM/PM, we found out that Faith wakes up without coffee, which is… something you can do? Apparently?
Carol comes to Netflix on September 20th, and Erin’s ready with this list of food and drinks (no spinach creaming necessary).
Need a safe space? Autostraddle’s got you covered.
And then there were your comments!
On Grease Bats: New Relationship Energy:
The Andy’s (Fun) Home Award to Carmen SanDiego:
On Y’All Need Help #8: Cross That Bridge When You Come to It!
The U-Haulin’ Award to Saga:
And the Defying Gravity Award to Denise:
On Monday Roundtable: I Was Not Myself Those Days:
The Laneia for Wax Award to Chandra, Laneia and Linnea:
On 12 Food and Drink Ideas For When Netflix Releases “Carol” and You Watch It For 24 Hours Straight:
The Netflix & Glove Lunch Award to amidola:
And the Self-Censure Award to Rous Rose:
On Fall 2017 TV Preview: Some Lesbian and Bisexual Characters for You:
The Rous’ Favorite Things Award to Rous Rose:
![Me: I should contain my excitement to protect my fragile heart from inevitable disappointment caused by high expectations and a lack of showrunners willing to cater to, or even consider, the (queer) female gaze. Also me: [image of Oprah being over-the-top excited]](https://autostraddle-develop.go-vip.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Screen-Shot-2017-08-31-at-6.27.15-PM.png?resize=828%2C538)
On The New “Great British Bake Off”: Nothing’s Changed, Except Everything That Matters:
The Soggy Berry Award to Chloe:
On 38 Lesbian and Bisexual Women From History Who Did That Thing First:
The Cat Grant Newsroom Award to Sally:
And on Pop Culture Fix: Get Your Hot Takes Ready for the Queerish “Heathers” Reboot:
The Chicken Fingers Award to aj:
See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!
I tried my hardest to get on here this week, but I failed. I can’t try harder, so….I must kill the other winners so that I shall get on here by default.
Just out of curiosity, does anyone know where in the world is Carmen SanDiego?
Kristana! I believe in you! <3
You believe? Damn… Dude, in that case help me hide?
You can’t be Where’s Waldo too, Carmen :0
I’m pretty sure Carmen SanDiego is everywhere…
Me too for what it’s worth. I thought writing in third person about the talking about self in third person article would do it.
Still, it’s cos the others are great not cos those are especially bad comments.
Your comment about dating people with heads made me lol hard
hehe ok that was funny! i wish i’d seen it last night!
Did you cut her brake lines? I’ve heard that’s not very efficient
Also, *runs and hides*
Nah, stabbing is the best way. It’s hella messy, but almost certainly fatal and hard to escape.
Say, would you like an apple?
It doesn’t look too messy if you use the Dexter method.
haha y’all are SCARY
No thanks I just ate and have I mentioned that your hair looks very nice today and also I’m a black belt in kung-jitsu-kwondo?
No no no inner Hermonie you’re not allowed to discuss that topic no.
We don’t quibble about the finer points of pointy implements and puncture wounds.
NO.
It’s okay. I already know that you thrust UP with a knife, not down. Going up allows you to get the soft parts around the stomach and come up under the rib cage. Going down you hit a whole bunch of bones.
If you wanna stab me you have to find me first!
Neener neener!
That’s fine. Your mortal nemesis has offered me help.
Ugh, that guy. Knock it off, Waldo! I’ve already told you I’m a lesbian.
why does Waldo look like the newest member of 1D here?
BTW I’m really glad I wasn’t the only one who fully did not recognize Laneia-as-Shane, at ALL, to the point where I thought maybe it was the other person in that photo!
Add me to the list. I did not recognize Shaneia
SHANEIA (@green)
Shaneia!! But how would you pronounce that?
I once asked Laneia in the comments how her name is pronounced bc I was curious if it was pronounced like mine. Her name is La-nee-uh… so tack on the Shane, and I’m thinking we’d have Sha-nee-uh?
however you slice it, it’s hilarious
Rous Rose was on fire!
They’re all so good but the U-Haulin’ Award is my favorite! Saga and Laneia made me laugh out loud
@cepperly I’m honored ^___^ In all seriousness, I still don’t get this U-Haul thing. Remember, I’m like totally new to the queer scene. Sometimes I can’t understand the clubhouse secret code!
Hehe here’s a dry but comprehensive explanation of the origins of the u-haul joke from Wikipedia, Saga :)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/U-Haul_lesbian
Perfect! Thank you, @queergirl ^___^ So, question: did Autostraddle did a survey here to see if this stereotype holds up?
But If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or is it homeless?
It’s a salamander.
A naked salamander?
It’s dead Carmen.
Gawd.
THE CHICKEN FINGERS AWARD.
That was hilarious and didn’t get enough love
At first I couldn’t decide whether I felt proud or embarrassed by the Carol comment. However, then I became aware of the fact that 11 entire human beings agreed with me enough to click the like-button and/or comment ‘OMG’, so perhaps my purpose in life is to be the spokesperson of every queer’s inner horny teen? How can I be ashamed of walking the path of fate and fulfilling my destiny?
Receiving the prodigious and highly-coveted Comment Award is what truly convinced me. Thank you, Autostraddle, for helping me see clearly.
We are always here for helping you to realize you are already your best self!
Wow, thanks!
*bows*
You guys,
I baked a cake yesterday, for a friend’s birthday party, and I felt that you should know.
Mississippi Mud Pie.
I’M SO GLAD