The Comment Awards Are Into Outdoor Sports

Hi there, butterbeans! I need you all to know that my new overalls came in the mail yesterday, and reader, they’re PERFECT. Extremely excited to Free the Waistband all summer long! I highly recommend it!

A-Camp is right around the corner, and all of you weirdos described yourselves in the most glorious ways when you signed up!

THIS happened, and I just

I love this queer poetry series from Natalie SO MUCH, and I think you will too!

Vanessa loves you and believes in you and wants you to date in the daylight!

So: what photo will YOU submit to Autostraddle’s 2019 Pride gallery?

I wrote this! I wrote it for you, because Gentleman Jack is the most fun I’ve had with a TV show maybe ever, and because oh BOY did Anne Lister know how to flirt.

Grace Lavery for Autostraddle, writing delicious and amazing things about The Toast, is this a dream?

This lede was so good, I’m going to put it right here again: When a boy rat and a boy aardvark love each other, they get married on public broadcast television.

These Five Black LGBTQ+ Activists Are Literally Saving The Planet, and I am in love with all of them.

And then there were your comments!


On Are Janelle Monáe and Lupita Nyong’o Dating Or Just Canoodling!!???

The Hester Projector Award to Mathilde, thatottergirl, and Hester:

Mathilde: As a serious fan of both Janelle Monáe and Lupita Nyong’o, and as a person who had a dream a couple of years ago that Lupita Nyong’o was dating me, this makes me very happy. I never dreamed LN would be queer irl. / Thatottergirl: Oh wow, maybe the dream means you and Lupita dated on the astral plane and she’s trying to make YOU jealous by canoodling with Janelle!

On For Your Consideration: 30 Slightly Unhinged Post-Breakup Activities That Aren’t Actually That Bad:

The Team Effort Award to Michelle and every! Single! Commenter! Who helped to push the comment count to 100, after Kayla threw down this challenge:

Michelle: I need to know which TS lyric! / Kayla: i will tell you if this post hits 100 comments aka NEVER GOING TO TELL YOU

queergirl: I feel like we can make this happen / Kayla: Uh-oh

Click through to find out what lyrics Kayla was referring to! 

On 10 Cute Daytime Dates for Spring and Beyond:

The Nature Lover Award to Dani Z:

Have been combining numbers 9 and 10 the past month or so – turns out there is deeply nothing better than fucking under cover of very tall grass in the sunshine. Currently protecting my field spot like a dragon.

On Gentleman Jack’s Guide to Flirting With Ladies of Fortune:

The Ann4Anne Award to Rachel:

Anne and Ann’s case should be SERIOUSLY considered in the data for the dating-someone-with-the-same-name-as-you debate.

And the We Found a Top (Hat) Award to SpicyTofu1994:

Due to personal reasons, I will be soon be purchasing a black signet ring and looking for a make-out shack in the woods.

On Articles Published on The Toast That I Later Learned Were About Me, a Partial List:

The Exclamation Nation Award to Vanessa:

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ALL OF MY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW I LOVE THIS AS A WEIRD INTERNET FAN OF DANNY AND GRACE’S RELATIONSHIP I LOVE THIS AS A WRITER WHO OFTEN WRITES THINGS ABOUT MY CRUSH THAT I COULD PLAUSIBLY DENY ARE ABOUT ANY ONE SPECIFIC PERSON I LOVE THIS AS A HUMAN WHO HAS DATED WRITERS AND HAS BEEN FLATTERED AND OCCASIONALLY HORRIFIED BY THE THINGS THEY WRITE TO ME I LOVE THIS AS A QUEER PERSON WHO LOVES LOVE I JUST REALLY FUCKING LOVE THIS OKAY THANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT I WILL STOP YELLING AND SEE MYSELF OUT NOW XOXO

On Arthur’s Beloved Mr. Ratburn Comes Out and Marries His Ardvark Boyfriend:

The Playing the Gay Card Award to Amanda Neumann:

Being gay isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card!

On No Filter: Bette And Alice And Shane Are Back At It:

The Handsy Award to Jeanna:

tag yourself, i’m sarah paulson’s hand clutching billy porter’s hand at her waist

And on Also.Also.Also: Wow We’ve Really Got the State Dept Out Here Pretending Same-Sex Marriages Aren’t Valid:

The Bratwife Life Award to Chandra:

Salty honey pie sounds delicious and also now I have a new nickname for my wife

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Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.

19 Comments

      • I wonder if We are ever ever, ever getting back together
        You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me

      • Do you think next time I have to fill in an application form and give an example of team work I can talk about the time I worked in a team with other commenters to get over 100 comments so the author of an article would reveal which Taylor Swift lyrics she quoted when sexting someone?

  1. Omg, it’s always been my dream to win a Comment Award!

    I’d like to thank Suranne Jones for being the reason why I have a signet ring currently being shipped from Etsy.

  2. Ahh, thanks Queer Girl, not to mention my dreamers-in-arms Mathilde and Hester! Shout out to Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers’ song Astral Plane for being part of my inspiration (https://youtu.be/OjhNyMo5qLY )

  3. Commenting late to graciously accept my comment award! I want to thank my local library and the cute librarians I have always, and will always, have crushes on.

Comments are closed.