The Comment Awards Are Here For You, Always

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Hi, loves. Oh, wow. Have you taken your prescribed medications today? Have you had a whole entire glass of water? I’m thinking of you, and I’m glad you’re here.

Here are some ways you can help Puerto Rico.

Here’s a place to feel the things you feel about Las Vegas.

Here’s an essay to read if you need a soft space to just be a human who needs other humans. Heather’s personal essays are always a gift, and this one was astonishing. The whole entire time I was reading it, I didn’t think about anything else in the world.

HERE ARE YOUR PETS. HERE ARE ALL YOUR PETS. HERE ARE HUNDREDS OF PHOTOS OF YOU AND YOUR PETS.

Alaina wrote us a primer on binding!

Remi (KaeLyn’s Baby T-Rex) made her debut in No Filter!

Here are the gayest things you named your pets!

And then there were your comments.


On Sunday Funday Is Also Losing It Over Kate McKinnon’s “Vanity Fair” Double Denim:

The Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Award to Merissa and Chandra:

Just gonna put it out there: a bunch of bad ass real-life Ripleys boning in zero gravity would be, like, a giant leap for (wo)mankind / Chandra: Science babes in space. I can think of nothing sexier.

And the Suited and Booted Award to sparkymcdragon:

That suit! I feel like there should be a non-profit program that issues suits to ladies who want to wear one, because A) putting a suit on for my wedding was literally the first time I realized I could feel sexy while dressed up instead of forever being the queer kid in the ill fitting clothes in the 90s teen movie. B) I would get to see more women wearing suits.

On PHOTO GALLERY: Queers with Pets:

The Way We Live Now Award to Rous Rose:

I thought my favourite page on the internet was a cache of 215 pictures of Kate McKinnon at the Emmys, but I see I was wrong. I live here now.

And the Pets, Interrupted Award to Carmen SanDiego:

Yo bookshelf, I’m really happy for you, Imma let you finish but Pets is the best gallery of all time.

On 50 of the Gayest Nerdiest Things You Weirdos Named Your Pets:

The Bee Charmer Award to Finn and Rachel W.:

I’m dating someone with a cat named Idgie after Fried Green Tomatoes <3 / Rachel: Marry her.

And the Charlize Kitt-on Award to femmefantastic:

I’m very sorry I missed this previously! My wife and I have a fluffy black cat we named Impurretor Furriosa (Mad Max: Fury Road). Her momma cat is named Portia, mostly because we found her on the porch and yes just a little bit because Ellen Degeneres’ wife.

On The Gayest Friendship Fights I Had as a Closeted Baby Lesbian:

The Pals or Gals? Award to aj:these posts are always so beautiful and relatable Kayla i remember fighting with my middle school best friend over whether or not you had be to sexually attracted to your husband or if you could just like them as a friend. we both date women now.

On No Filter: Evan Rachel Wood Was the Piano Robot All Along:

The Instrumental Flirt Award to Vicky:

Evan Rachel Wood can play my piano any day ? (Like, literally. I have a piano in my house lol)

And the Damsel in Distress Award to Blackmar:

Is Stephanie Beatriz trapped inside a house made up of nothing but layers of swimming pools? If so, I will rescue her.

And on Such Softness In The Harsh World:

The Same Sentiments Award to amidola:

<3 All the things people wish one another before surgery sound so sterile, compared to the warmth of this piece. I'll just leave a soft, flannel covered, virtual hug, and wish you and Stacy all the best. xoxo

(We love you, Heather! ❤)


See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

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Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.

43 Comments

  1. QueerGirl I think this is one of the best batch of award names of all time. Seriously. So many great ones….

  2. Lets play a game of F***, Marry, Kill. I’ll start then who ever answers mine will post their own and so on.

    So FMK Xena, Furiosa, Ellen Ripley

    • I’m tempted to kill Xena because she would resurrect but I’m gonna go with marry Xena, fuck Furiosa, kill Ripley

      • Now you gotta post your own FMK Carmen. And just fyi I would kill Xena so all those soul could be free (see series finale), fuck Ellen, and marry Furiosa

    • I feel like if I killed any of them I’d be killing a part of myself.

      But if Ripley had I chest burster larvating inside her I would acquiesce to a mercy kill request.

      I would not fuck Furiosa, I’d make tender sweet love to her until my body gave out.

      Xena is Gabby’s but I’d be down for a 3-way.

      I’m not the marrying kind.

  3. *Cries without making it up* Yikes. I’d like to thank the Academy of Sheer Queer Awesomeness AKA Autostraddle.com (good sentence). Thank you Queer Girl, for never failing to Queer Girl. Thank you to Laneia for putting together the gallery (it’s all about the pictures, guys). Thank you to my co-Mrs McKinnon Caitlin for sending me those 215 pictures of our perfect wife. Thank you Jack (Daniels), I love you. And lastly, thank you to Hillary Cli-

  4. Yay comment award thanks Queer Girl!

    Evan Rachel Wood if you’re reading this, my offer still stands

      • HAHAHA your mind went where it wanted to go!!

        That being said, I also offer my hands! To play the piano….obviously ?

        • “I offer my hands” sounds like an ancient lesbian blessing/greeting.

          “Blessed be the fruit.”
          “May the Lord open.”
          “I offer my hands.”

  5. I’m nominating Jill for an honourable mention in the Instrumental Flirt Award category, for her delightfully meandering journey to that “tickling my ovaries” pun.

Comments are closed.