The Comment Awards Are Brewing Beer to Make Men Sad

Darcy —
Aug 17, 2018
COMMENT

Hi there, campers! Did you know that right now, today, you can log off of twitter? You can! I believe in you! Pet a dog or something! Read all of the amazing Bad Behavior essays on this very website! This intro is not at all connected to me trying to control my twitter addiction, of course. NOT AT ALL.

This week, Laneia brought us the third installment of one of my all-time favorite series, These Shirts.

Heather made Christmas come early and brought her AMAZING A-Camp workshop to print in Alewives: The Women Who Crafted Beer and Split Hell Wide Open.

Not sure what to do about that leather harness languishing in your top drawer? Cee’s got some advice on leather care.

Wow, y’all, this has been a journey: I first found Autostraddle five whole years ago thanks to Heather Hogan’s Pretty Little Liars recaps, and now Ashley Benson is dating Cara Delevigne. Twenty-Gayteen truly continues to give with both hands.

Erin’s back with another installment of Straight People Watch. Hey, someone’s gotta keep an eye on those gender reveal parties and gun-toting family portraits! I’m so glad it isn’t me.

This was beautiful.

And then there were your comments!


On Straight People Watch: Summer 2018:

The Garden of Earthly Delights Award to Snaelle:

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Now wanting to take signs with me to stick over every gendered washroom sign. Pomegranates and Melons Cucumbers and Zucchinis Mustard and Mayonnaise And watch only straight ppl dance around in pee-anxiety.

The WWDD Award to Rocío and BettyOnIt:

Rocio: Every day we stray further from Darren. / BettyOnIt: OMD

And the Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Straight Folks Award to shamblebot:

Get Me Pregnant or Let Me Go is like the straight version of Take Me or Leave Me

On I Made All My Friends Reenact The Planet from “The L Word” Again and Can Whoever Killed Jenny Please Come Kill Me:

The In Treatment Award to Denise:

I think you guys need to meet every day for a codependents anonymous meeting.

And the Schectitude Award to Sally and Donna M:

I laughed out loud probably more times than was healthy reading this. If you make part 3, is there any chance someone would be able to dress as the glands, sweetbreads & variety meats that Jenny writes that she wants to give Tim. This is a special request on behalf of my wife, who would dearly love to spend every day doing L Word dress-up.

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On BREAKING: Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson Are Definitely Dating, Kisses! -A:

The Shane-Off Award to Kristana:

[Photo of Kristen Stewart with that one Victoria's Secret model whose name and face I don't remember] "I'm the Shane of real life." [Photo of Cara Delevigne and Ashley Benson] "Hold my craft brewery beer."

And the I’m Gonna Let You Finish, Taylor, But Award to Taylor:

Saw them a couple weeks ago at Disneyland, they were definitely gaying together!

On Lez Liberty Lit: Literary Manspreading, Now for Women Too:

The Enthusiasm! Award to snowvsasphalt:

Stop using so many exclamation marks,

And on Alewives: The Women Who Crafted Beer and Split Hell Wide Open:

The Hoppy Alewife Award to Alecia and Linnea:

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Alecia: This makes me want to start my own brewery and make men’s souls sad. / Linnea: I was chatting with an herbalist friend of mine recently about the health benefits of hops and their place in mythology as a plant very closely tied to fertility & women’s bodies. It’s so absurd then to think abt how super hoppy beers are markteted now and it’s always like “HOPS OVERLOAD CRUSH IT BRO HOPS ANNIHILATION NOT 4 PUSSIES


See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

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Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They’re a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They’re living through a pandemic, they’re on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.

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