Letter From Your Editors
Hello Autostraddle Plus Members!
Welcome to our first ever Insider Newsletter brought to you by the Senior Staff of Autostraddle.com, your #1 source for tips on carpentry and beekeeping. The contents of the monthly Insider Newsletter will evolve over time but generally could be described as “a behind-the-scenes look at what the fuck is going on around here.” The A+ Bee, edited by Chronic Interns Grace and Chelsey, is our Community Newspaper that’ll debut next week and will be all about YOU PEOPLE. We’ll also start publishing our special A+ posts later in the month!
Right now we’re in Big Bear, California, in an Airbnb rental with no Netflix but pretty much every important movie ever made on VHS, including but not limited to Jurassic Park, Ghost, The Sandlot and Jumanji as well as a delightful book published by Focus on the Family about how to keep your kids off drugs. It’s our Senior Staff Summit! Executive Editor Laneia and Editor-in-Chief Riese have been here since Sunday, and were joined by Rachel (Senior Editor), Alex (Design Director), Yvonne (Associate Editor), Grace (Chronic Intern) on Tuesday night. We’re here to go through applications for new writers, re-organize our team, convince Alex that making a Misandrist t-shirt is a good idea, launch A+ and make a lot of margaritas. We’re rarely in the same space at the same time — actually we’re never in the same space at the same time except for A-Camp — so this is a super important week for the site.
Last year was the first year we did a “summit” situation, and that’s actually where we first named A+ and came up with a loose plan for its implementation and scope.
So it’s fitting that we’re launching A+ at our second editorial summit, right? Or at least that’s what we’re telling ourselves to feel better about taking an entire year to thrust this particular moment of glory into the universe.
Summertime is weird, editorially, because at least one of us seems to be out of town every day, so it’s not generally a time of monumental editorial decision-making. But it is a good time for training and integrating new writers, and thus we’re excited to pick those writers from the approximately ten billion Contributing Editor applications we received and report back in our next Letter from the Editor.
Lastly, if there’s anything that you’d like to see more of in the A+ Insider, let us know in the comments! We’re really pumped about building this new piece of the already thriving Autostraddle community.
Love,
Riese / Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne
Top 10 Most Popular Posts From June 2014
These posts got mad hits last month.
1. And Now, Every Character on “Orange is the New Black” As They Appear On “Law and Order,” by Stef
Here’s how this happened:
Kate: A thought i had while recapping OITNB: has every single cast member been a guest star in an episode of the law and order franchise? because i think they have. who else wants to waste the entire evening figuring this out via imdb?
Stef: You have caught me on exactly the night where I would be very happy to not only investigate this, but also watch all the episodes.
This turned out to be one of our most popular posts of all time. On an average day, we get between 100k and 150k views — when this post was at its peak, we were getting over 500k hits per day. This made Thursday, June 19th our most trafficked day of all time, beating out the previous record holder, January 7th, when Flawless Trans Women Carmen Carrera and Laverne Cox Respond Flawlessly To Katie Couric’s Invasive Questions garnered over 400k hits. This shit went crazy viral, y’all.
2. Novel Idea: What If We Actually Researched Whether Menstrual Products are Safe To Use, by Helen
3. Oh My F*cking God It’s “Orange is the New Black” With Cats, by Carmen
5. If You Were My Boo: 28 Things To Do On A Date With Samira Wiley, by the Team
6. You Need Help: Here Is A Worksheet To Help You Talk to Partners About Sex, by Ali
7. Laverne Cox Returns to “Katie,” Shows How To Do a “Teachable Moment” Right, by Mey
8. Saturday Morning Cartoons Special Guest Comic, Straight From “Oh Joy Sex Toy,” by Erika Moen
9. Laverne Cox is Amazing On The Cover of TIME, TIME’s Story Inside Not So Much, by Mey
10. Angel Haze and Ireland Baldwin Are Officially Together, Not “Just Best Friends”, by Kate
Top 5 Most Popular Posts In June 2014 That Were Actually Written Many Many Months Ago
The internet’s interest in really old posts about lesbian sex burns eternal, but this month so did the internet’s interest in Samira Wiley.
1. How To Have Lesbian Sex 102: Cunnilingus Edition, by Ali
2. BREAKING: Samira Wiley Needs a Boo, Eats String Cheese, by Riese
3. How “Real” Is Orange is the New Black: Comparing the Show To The Memoir to The Numbers, by Riese
4. Bondage 101: How To Tie Someone Up, by Carolyn
5. Five Lesbian Films You Might Have Missed in 2013, by Kate –
“I feel like Carmen could write a post that says “baby bunnies: pretty cute, no?” and someone would be like “I notice you didn’t mention how bunnies voted against marriage equality in 2010.”
– Rachel Kincaid, Autostraddle Senior Editor, April 2014
Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations
Conversations on pressing editorial matters pulled from e-mails and Skype Chats.
Rachel: pitch: top 5 things we should start doing to be spotlighted for making awesome women’s media, because apparently “making awesome women’s media” is not really a key factor somehow
Stef: maybe if we were nicer to men
Laneia: HELLO can y’all please email me separately with a (preferably lighthearted) dilemma you’re currently experiencing so Beth The Tarot Reader can do a mini one-card reading for you on this website we call home?
Grace: can you give us an example of a lighthearted dilemma?
Helen: do biddie non-problems count as a dilemma? or cat drama?
Helen: i think i just summed up my life in under 15 words
Hansen: the Facebook posting of the berry food list came up with a picture of Vee on Law and Order and I’m laughing but also terrified.
Stef: looks blue, tastes red
Rachel: i’m looking at this poetry post now, what else should we tag it with?
Laneia: bisexual
Riese: bisexuality
Rachel: WHOA HEY
Riese: bicycle
bilateral
bisect
Laneia: bisected aborted babies
Riese: bin of pickles
Rachel: i’m kind of uncomfortable with these labels
Riese: bidontcare
Riese: ok i will publish disney now
Laneia: HOORAY
Riese: i hope people think it’s funny
Laneia: i hope if they don’t, they fall down in the street on their way home and get run over by a bike messenger with an attitude problem aka just a bike messenger
Riese: what if bra week was just a week where we celebrate the autostraddle reader “bra”
Laniea: what if tomorrow, bra wins every comment award
Riese: that would be amazing. the bra week award for bra
Laneia: we can make that happen. i know a girl
Riese: bra’s greatest hits. top ten bra comments. everybody will think that it’s just comments about bras but instead it will all be comments by bra
Rachel: it would really do a lot of good work for bra visibility
Yvonne: i wanted to watch Center Stage but Gloria picked Side Effects and i was like i don’t want to watch a movie with Channing Tatum and then it turned out there was lesbians in there
Laneia: i feel like if given half a chance i could develop a strange lesbian crush on channing tatum and that alone repels me from him
Rachel: that’s a really complicated relationship to have with him
Stef: alternative fast food pride items? The Subway Rainbow Meatball sub or whatever? “Proud whopper” is my new favourite term of endearment.
Kate: i don’t think a franchise could be better tailored to the gay pride experience than subway, whose ads continually brag about their six inches.
Rachel: Today a man tried to tell me about how OINTB is problematic, and i discovered my hard limit for OINTB criticism, which is “men.”
Hansen: Some of my best friends are men who watch OITNB ugh I’m really offended by the blatant misandry of this queer website let me make some mean and generalized comments about it and then facebook share this hilarious article from [other amazing website] about how dumb men are
Hansen: Wait. That was too real. I just upset myself.
Meet Some New Contributors!
Get to know some of our newest columnists.
Arabelle Sicardi
Twitter: @arabellesicardi
Website: arabelle sicardi
Arabelle did a Holiday Fashion and Makeup Post for us before launching her new feature “Most Important Ugly,” a photography series centered around queer and feminist makeup theory, empowerment, and identity.
If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life what would it be?
Applause!
What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
One I didn’t have to make myself.
Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
No one takes me out on dates.
What’s your #1 turn-on?
Humble intelligence! Infectious intelligence! Wanting to share your knowledge! It’s so erotic. I’m attracted to brilliance that blossoms.
What’s your #1 turn-off?
Ew I have so many. I hate snobbishness.
Tayler Smith
Twitter: @nottaylersmith
Tumblr: nottaylersmith
Tayler is Arabelle’s best friend and the co-author of the Most Important Ugly series!
If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
The Shiba dog
What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
Is a s’more a sandwich?
Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on:
I feel like the only time I went on a “date” was when I was 15 and I kissed them in the back of my parents car… while my parents were driving the car.
What’s your favorite sex toy?
Samantha Jones knew what she was talking about when she got the rest of the girls to buy Rabbits.
What’s your #1 turn-on?
If you can sit through every episode of Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse on Netflix and finish thinking it’s a work of comedic genius, you’re a keeper.
What’s your #1 turn-off?
If you hate dogs please leave.
Elicia Sanchez
Twitter: @El_SanchoVilla
Website: elicia sanchez
Instagram: elsanchovilla
Youtube: eliciasanchezcomedy
Elicia started writing for us just this past December, joined us all for A-Camp in May and will continue writing funny shit for us now and forevermore.
If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life what would it be?
I don’t have an iPhone, so most of the ones on my Android are just dumb alien faces making eyes, but I can say from Facebook messanger conversations it would be anything that pukes. I feel like a puking face can emote a lot of different things, i.e. ugh, look at this gross couple in love photo or ugh, look at the dumb thing this person said or just ugh, it’s hot in here.
What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
Sliders. Anything any bar/restaurant is willing to put in a slider is almost always the best thing ever.
Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
I once got pregnant from a casual hook up with a dude and our first time spending the day together was when he came with me to the abortion appointment. That was awkward, but a great way to really get to know one another, especially when we had to fill out my Planned Parenthood paperwork together.
What’s your favorite sex toy?
I am so beyond not well versed in this department. I used to be all about this strap-on I owned for years which I named and had a decorated carrying case for, but then one of my current partners told me it’s really uncool to use the same strap on with different people and made me throw it away in a dumpster by our apartment. It felt like a funeral for part of my body. I’ve never been able to connect with another sex toy after that.
What’s your #1 turn-on?
I’m not sure if this is physical or personality-wise, but physically, MOUTHS. I’m all about hot mouths.
What’s your #1 turn-off?
Religion. I have a hard time connecting with people, friendship or beyond that are religious in any way.
Beth Maiden
Twitter: @littleredtarot
Tumblr: little red tarot
In “The Fool’s Journey,” Beth is teaching you how to read your cards and develop your mystic prowess!
If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life what would it be?
The OMG cat.
What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
A smushed-up cheese and pickle sandwich on top of a hill in the rain in Yorkshire.
Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
I only go on awesome dates!
What’s your favorite sex toy?
The softest, smoothest silicon double-ended dildo with a fat fist one end and a long, lovely cock the other.
What’s your #1 turn-on?
My partner’s insanely beautiful smile.
What’s your #1 turn-off?
Dog farts.
Lydia Okello
Twitter: @styleisstyle
Website: style is style
Tumblr: style is style
Lydia lives in Vancouver, is the author of “Style is Style” and the star of my Lydia Appreciation Board.
If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
SIDE EYE.
What’s your favorite sex toy?
Restraints/magic wand
What’s your #1 turn-on?
Dimples
What’s your #1 turn-off?
Overt arrogance/ if you are ignorant/unintelligent
Four Stories I Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month
Rachel wants to know why not enough of you read or commented upon these posts.
What St.Vincent Has Been Telling Us All Along: Gender In Juxtaposition, by Cara
Cara is actually a literal genius, first of all, and a hilarious mad scientist, so you should already be reading everything she writes. This especially, though, is brave and smart and articulates a lot of things that are really hard to discuss, not least because we don’t always have language for them. But if anyone can find words, it’s Cara! For real, I’m serious.
Without A Safety Net: Talking Women-Owned Tech With Section II’s Allie Esslinger, by Ali
Do you know how challenging the landscape is for women in tech, let alone women in tech looking for funding? It’s ridiculous! Which is why it’s so amazing that Allie Esslinger has been able to succeed at creating a web platform for film about queer women, and so amazing that Ali interviewed her. Next time you’re wishing there was more stuff for and by queer women on your internet, you better have read this.
Can’t Go Home Again: Tacos, Grief, and Growing Up Without Tamale House, by Audrey
This essay is so sweet and real, and talks about something universal while remaining totally unique. It is also about tacos! And migas! I think I grew up a little just reading this. If you have ever gone back home for any reason and had to grapple with the fact that it’s not really the place you remember while trying to put on a smile and figure out where in the world you belong, you are a dumb dumb if you don’t read this.
Beyond Definition: On Queer Black Love and My Kaleidoscope Identity, by Kim Milan
This piece is incredible you guys! This is someone taking the risk of figuring out their identity and their sense of who they are in front of you, on your own screen, while you get to sit safely behind the keyboard. It is hard, brave work, and although many of you did in fact read it, only NINE people commented. Read it again and thank Kim Milan for sharing so much with you!
Flashback: In 2009 Rachel Really Wanted To Be An Autostraddle Intern, Look At Her Now
“This is a repulsive movement. I am sorry you have this “gay” mental condition, but there is help available so you can have a normal life. Reject satan and his evil queer lifestyle.”
– a message from “Hetero S Normal” via our “Contact Us” form, July 2014
Stories Our Writers Claim To Be Writing
Don’t you wish you could read these stories our writers pitched to us? Us too!
Kaitlyn: I WILL WRITE ABOUT HOUSE HUNTERS BECAUSE I AM UNEMPLOYED AND HAVE CABLE AND ALL I DO IS WATCH HGTV AND MY GIRLFRIEND AND I ACTUALLY HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT ITS AWESOME AND CHILL LGBT INCLUSION THE OTHER DAY BECAUSE WE’RE GAY NERDS… But actually, pitch in a more coherent form: A lot of these home/DIY shows make a big deal out of including same-sex couples. They’ll introduce them as “Same-sex couple Kelly and Jeanine” and make constant references to “hers and hers” bathrooms or what the fuck ever. It’s obnoxious. House Hunters (and a few other HGTV shows) deliberately don’t do that, and it is nice and sweet and just cool. I didn’t know the show’s creators were a lesbian couple, but that only adds to the cuteness. If we’re interested, I could do a little writeup and an excerpt from the interview, plus maybe some suggestions for my favorite episodes to watch if I can find enough of them online. Cute cute cute. Lemme know.”
Grace: How would you feel if we published an essay called “The Sadder But Wiser Girl: On Being a Feminist And Loving Musicals”?
Yvonne: Taco Tuesday would be a series all about tacos written by me, a Mexican named Yvonne! Each week or (biweekly) I would write about different topics including: my own personal connection to tacos/ my family’s history and culture (how my parents were poor Mexicans and had to hide their tacos at lunch at school because they didn’t bring sandwiches), the history of tacos themselves (super interesting, indigenous roots, only invented in 1900’s though), the gentrification of the taco and how it’s a “hipster food” now with white people making a profit from a staple food and my feelings, and then from there on write about different kinds of tacos (breakfast, street, fish, veggie, etc.) / find quirky angle/facts to take and include a recipe(s) maybe.
Kate: “so obviously i am super busy recapping OINTB and not having a life outside of that, but at some point could i write a piece on queer fanfiction, specifically femslash? i have 1001 feelings about femslash in fanfiction and how fucking important it is and how i kind of deplore that all lgbtq pairings in fanfiction are bilbo baggins getting buttfucked by benadryl cucumber in dragon form or some shit. basically i think femslash is the shit and i want it to take over the world and i want to write a manifesto about that.” [ETA: recent action on Kate’s tumblr suggests this particular pitch is evolving into its righteous position of glory and will be a publishable situation so very soon.]
Some Answers To Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us
Do you have burning questions about what the fuck is going on around here? Ask us — just use the A+ priority contact form in your sidebar.
Recapping Shuffle: This summer’s television recap plan is going a little differently than anticipated! Vikki, our official Den Mother and one of our favorite people of all time, usually recaps The Fosters, but unfortunately cannot because… she switched cable companies and doesn’t get ABC Family anymore. “I don’t want to have to download torrents for a show I don’t even like,” Vikki told us. Lizz had been recapping Pretty Little Liars since Riese ran out of time to do it herself some years back, but now Lizz is SUPES busy with Med School, and thus Hansen has stepped in as the new Pretty Little Liars Whisperer. Finally, Chelsea (of High Femme, American Horror Story, Orphan Black recaps) was gonna recap True Blood BUT THEN THEY KILLED TARA IN THE VERY FIRST EPISODE.
Where Are The A-Camp Recamps: We’re working on them, really truly! Because of some personal shit that happened right after camp, we weren’t able to pull it together as soon as we usually do. We now feel emotionally prepared and hopefully these’ll exist before the end of the month. In the meantime, please enjoy our recap of Bren and Carrie’s wedding!
What Happened To “How To Keep A Girl For Ten Years”: WE DON’T KNOW BUT WE MISS IT TOO.
When other people try to imagine what we all talk about all day to make this website happen, I feel like “please carry on with the scissoring” is a sentence they usually imagine us saying.
-Stef, Music Editor, June 2014
July Retro-Reading
Some posts from previous Julys you might really truly enjoy.
28 Docs Later You’ll Be A Better Person, Just Watch (2010), by the team – A massive roundtable about some of our most favorite documentaries of all time. I still use this post to pick new shit to watch!
How I Turned Straight Actors into Badass Butch Queers in Three Days Flat (2010), by Gabby – This was Gabby’s first-ever post on Autostraddle! It’s about her experience making her first short film, Spanish Girls Are Beautiful. Riese found Gabby after she commented on an Autostraddle post that referenced a book she had a story in, followed the link to her short film, saw it, and invited Gabby for a drink the week of our 2010 Pride Party. The rest is history.
Rejection 101: A Lesbian’s Guide To Getting Turned Down, Keeping Your Head Up (2011), by Intern Grace – It’s hard to imagine that worldwide heartthrob Intern Grace was ever rejected by anybody, ever, but indeed she was, and this is a very inspirational story on how she dealt with it.
Your Monthly Infographic About You
We did an Autostraddle reader survey this summer and found out a lot of shit about you. Here’s one of those things.
Where Are They Now?
Sometimes really amazing writers come to Autostraddle and then they leave and it’s really sad and we sit around and wonder what they’re up to.
Gabrielle Korn, Contributing Editor 2012-2013
What are you up to these days, Gabrielle Korn? “I’m working at Refinery29 as a beauty editor, which basically means I write about hair/makeup/nails/skin care and produce photo shoots. Sometimes I get to go to cool places like Singapore and Paris for journalism! My free time is mostly spent touching my dog.”
Emily Choo, Intern 2009-2012
What’s going on with you, Emily Choo? “So there are actually a lot of changes happening for me right now, coincidentally! After going through a breakup complicated by the fact that we lived together, I decided to quit my steady-paycheque job and move to Toronto to cry, write, bleed, cry, remember how to be alone while arts & crafting my heart back together, heal, cry, write, etc. So, currently I’m sitting funemployed in my parents’ basement, but very shortly my days will be filled with eating, drinking (coffee), writing, crying in public, rock climbing, and cycling in a city I’ve never lived in before. the future is bright! /scary/foggy.”
Carolyn’s Recommended Sex Toy Of the Month
In which our NSFW Editor Carolyn has advice on getting off.
I’m not going so far as to say that vibrators are a universal crowd-pleaser, because different people are different, but if we all get only a few near-perfect sex toys in our lives then I have found one of mine, and it is the We-Vibe Tango. The Tango is only a little longer than a bullet vibe, has a pointy tip, charges with a USB cable, is waterproof and is more powerful than you would believe. It’s powerful enough I’m willing to forgive how hard it is to grip when it’s covered in lube and the fact it only comes in sex-toy pink or purple, not to mention its abbreviated battery life — a quality that, given the strength of the vibrations, I hardly notice unless I get absent-minded. It’s fun alone. It’s fun with a partner. It’s fun wedged into or tight against a harness. Held the right way, it feels thuddier than any clit vibe I’ve ever used, and held the wrong way, it’s still pretty fantastic. As a sex toy reviewer, I don’t have to pay actual money for every sex toy that gets in my pants, but after trying this one out in a store I couldn’t leave without it.
Alex’s Whiskey Corner
What whiskey is Alex obsessed with this month? Don’t worry she’ll tell you all about it.
I love Brenne French Single Malt Whisky and even more — I love that it’s a woman-owned small business! They came on as a sponsor for our last A-Camp for mine and Ali’s whiskey tasting. So I gotta show ’em some love. Not surprisingly, it was the clear favorite amongst the campers and staff.
The flavors: the nose is super pleasant with lots of fruity notes, specifically bananas (seriously!) and tropical fruits. The taste is more complex than you’d expect — burnt caramel, like a creme brûlée, and warm spices like cinnamon and clove.
It’s the first whisky I would pour for someone who needs a proper introduction (or re-introduction) to the spirit. It’s really wonderful and perfectly balanced and I can’t recommend Brenne enough.
If your local liquor store doesn’t carry Brenne, request it! They might be able to order it just for you. Or try Caskers which is great for finding awesome whiskies at very low prices. (Hint: they have Brenne for sale right now!)
What Should We Call The A+ Levels Though
riese: do you guys have any ideas for what we could call the A+ levels besides like bronze, silver and gold
rachel: my first thought was “what if they were different tex-mex menu items, like the biggest one could be ‘enchilada platter’”
so maybe i’m not the best person for this job
laneia: really wish we could reference glitter somehow
i like rachel’s idea too
riese: i wish level one could be bossy bottom, and two could be top and three could be switch, or vice versa
rachel: i don’t think anyone woke up today wanting to pay money to be an enchilada platter
laneia: it would be funnier if they were totally unrelated to each other and also weren’t an obvious reference to superiority
riese: Like Enchilada Platter, Bossy Bottom and Captain Comamander of the Sea
laneia: mushroom level, otter level, captain commander of the sea
riese: what if it was like, marijuana level, cocaine level, crystal meth level
laneia: or
no nvm i don’t like that new idea i just had
rachel: different types of sandwiches (omg all my ideas are food i’m so sorry what’s wrong with me)
laneia: what if it were the levels of the kind of underwear you wear depending on what kind of night you think you’ll have
riese: grandma panties, clean underwear, sexy thong you bought in high school
laneia: but i’d really want period panties to be in there somewhere
riese: you just want periods in everything
laneia: or it could mimic our intern levels, which would be: you forgot we hired you, we ask you to do everything, you’re bren
riese: glitter, bedazzle, vajazzle
laneia: cartoon characters from the 90s
daria is platinum level
rachel: what if they were all just different mariah carey albums
laneia: oh
i like that
riese: what if autostraddle just became a mariah carey fansite
rachel: tbh i’ve been waiting for you to suggest that for a long time
laneia: you could also do t&s albums and the bottom level would be this business of art
rachel: what if they were all celebs who aren’t out, would we get sued
laneia: places riese has lived
riese: ann arbor, berkeley, interlochen, new york
laneia: types of tank tops. i need spag strap to be the bottom level for that one
riese: i need mossimo long & lean tank top to be the top level
laneia: AMEN
or this ‘solid gold clit’ tank top that i’m wearing right now
riese: WHAT
rachel: YOU GOT IT??
riese: Golden Clit should be the top level
laneia: everyone would cry
even the people who don’t know why they’d be crying
rachel: i’m crying right now
riese: golden clit tears
Special Thanks
It’s been a long time coming, but we finally launched A+ and we couldn’t have done it without the tireless work of our team, specifically our all-star developer Cee Webster. She really hit it out of the park. Thanks everyone for their hard work!
If you’d like to send Cee a nice big thanks, or a virtual hug, or tell her how good her hair looks today, you can find her on twitter at: @ceeweb
One More Questions
When you’re logged in as an A+ member, your special layout includes a sidebar widget that lets you know some of which other AS users are online. You can see this on any page of the website besides A+ posts, which have the special full-width format (like this post!) We’re divided on whether or not we like this widget, so we wanna know what you think!
