you need help Archives

regular

you need help

"I have been struggling with a lot of shame about this but I'm also really excited."

lesbian sex

‘I Want To Call My Partner Mommy’

“The issue for me right now is talking about it!”

Summer Tao —

Dec 10, 2024

regular

you need help

"My experience thus far on the apps has been a lot of perfectly nice conversations, but nothing more than lightly flirty."

lesbian dating apps

‘I Want To Sext a Stranger for Self-Discovery’

“Last year, in my 30s, I started a self-discovery process that has included getting on dating apps after not dating since I was a teenager.”

Nico —

Dec 3, 2024

regular

you need help

"Oh my god I cant explain how dull 70% of our text conversations are."

relationships

‘I Love My Girlfriend but Sometimes She Annoys Me’

“I feel bad because obviously she’s texting me because she wants to talk to me, but I don’t like texting and I don’t want to constantly have such empty conversations.”

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Nov 26, 2024

asexuality

you need help

"Recently, we've been flirting a lot, and my romantic feelings for her have returned."

dating

‘How Can I Talk to My Friend/Crush About Sexual Compatibility Without Being Weird?’

Does it make sense to suggest talking about how we feel about kissing/ cuddling/ sex-related stuff/etc.? And if so, what’s the best way to go about it respectfully and in…

Summer Tao —

Nov 19, 2024

you need help

“I just want to know if it’s possible to find a compromise or if my internal clock is gonna be messed up for the entirety of our relationship.”

relationships

‘My Partner and I Have Completely Different Concepts of Bedtime’

I really do want to be able to go to bed together.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Nov 12, 2024

you need help

"I want to feel hot — not awful / dysphoric / self conscious."

pick an actual category, you strange genius

‘How Can I Dress Kinky and Androgynous at Play Parties?’

The context to this question is that my partner and I are both kinky (privately? I guess?), and we’re interested in feeling out the kink scene locally a bit more.

Summer Tao —

Nov 5, 2024

you need help

"I can’t help but feel an ick about her constantly mixing up facts about her ex with facts about me."

dating

‘My Girlfriend Thinks About Her Ex More Than She Thinks About Me’

My girlfriend will say things like “I know you hate Halloween” but here’s the thing: I feel fine about Halloween. It’s her ex who hates Halloween.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Oct 29, 2024

you need help

"We’re technically having sex but it has gotten very monotonous, almost mechanical, like we're doing a chore."

lesbian sex

‘It’s Not Lesbian Bed Death but Something Like It’

“I don’t want to be like “let’s spice things up!” because for some reason that framing feels so idk…straight? to me.”

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Oct 22, 2024

you need help

"It shouldn’t matter. But I almost care more about this than I do about the fact that she’s still apparently with the girl she cheated on me with."

breakups

‘My Ex Is Doing the Art Project We Planned Together Without Me’

Creative jealousy is understandable in a lot of contexts, but especially this one.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya —

Oct 15, 2024

you need help

"As with all lesbian drama, it’s complicated."

dating

‘The Girl I’m Vibing With Thinks I’m Still Into My Ex’

Queer relationships often don’t take the shape or trajectory of cis-heterosexual ones.

Summer Tao —

Oct 8, 2024

you need help

"I feel a LOT of sexual desire in an abstract sense, but have no motivation to act on it with anyone in particular, even myself."

dating

‘I Want a T4T Relationship but Worry About Chaser Behavior’

So, shame about sexuality. Lots of us have some. Some of us have lots.

Summer Tao —

Oct 1, 2024

you need help

"I keep thinking maybe they're an avoidant personality style and that they'll come back and say they made a mistake and they do want to date me."

breakups

‘I Can’t Stop Thinking About the What-Ifs With Someone I Dated for Two Months’

While using knowledge about one’s attachment style to build lines of communication with a partner and to manage conflict can be super helpful, letting yourself hang onto false hope because…

Nico —

Sep 24, 2024

you need help

Most Popular

‘I Want To Change My Name Again’

‘I’m Lost in the Gender Expression Sauce’

‘My Partner Is Hurt I’ve Changed My Mind About Having a Baby’

‘I’m a Sexually Inexperienced Stud Afraid of Doing It Wrong’

‘My Wife and I Haven’t Had Sex in Almost Two Years’

‘How Can I Be a Good Girlfriend When My Partner Is Extremely Anxious About Sex’

‘I Just Realized I’m Bi and Am Extremely Anxious’

‘I Want Femme Lingerie That Accommodates an Abundance of Pubic Hair’

‘Is It Okay if I Stay in Love With My Best Friend?’

‘I Want To Be With a Woman, but My Inexperience Makes Me Feel Really Insecure’

‘I Want To Change My Name Again’

‘I’m Lost in the Gender Expression Sauce’

‘My Partner Is Hurt I’ve Changed My Mind About Having a Baby’

‘I’m a Sexually Inexperienced Stud Afraid of Doing It Wrong’

‘My Wife and I Haven’t Had Sex in Almost Two Years’

‘How Can I Be a Good Girlfriend When My Partner Is Extremely Anxious About Sex’

‘I Just Realized I’m Bi and Am Extremely Anxious’

‘I Want Femme Lingerie That Accommodates an Abundance of Pubic Hair’

‘Is It Okay if I Stay in Love With My Best Friend?’

‘I Want To Be With a Woman, but My Inexperience Makes Me Feel Really Insecure’

‘I Want To Call My Partner Mommy’

‘I Want To Sext a Stranger for Self-Discovery’

‘I Love My Girlfriend but Sometimes She Annoys Me’

‘How Can I Talk to My Friend/Crush About Sexual Compatibility Without Being Weird?’

‘My Partner and I Have Completely Different Concepts of Bedtime’

‘How Can I Dress Kinky and Androgynous at Play Parties?’

‘My Girlfriend Thinks About Her Ex More Than She Thinks About Me’

‘It’s Not Lesbian Bed Death but Something Like It’

‘My Ex Is Doing the Art Project We Planned Together Without Me’

‘The Girl I’m Vibing With Thinks I’m Still Into My Ex’

‘I Want a T4T Relationship but Worry About Chaser Behavior’

‘I Can’t Stop Thinking About the What-Ifs With Someone I Dated for Two Months’