feature image via SPARK Summit.
If you know me in “real life” or on the Feminist Internet, or if you know anything about me at all, you’re probably well aware that I tend to have my hand in nine feminist movements at once. Hopefully, you’re also aware that one of those movements is SPARK, which started as a summit in 2010 (with moi as a speaker) and is now a full-blown girls’ empowerment powerhouse, with over 20 bloggers full of passion yet all strangely under the age of 18. Spooky sh*t.
If you’ve ever wanted to feel bad about the things you accomplished in your life and how long it took you to accomplish them, these girls are the perfect place to start. They’re awe-inspiring and amazing. I’ve had the extreme pleasure of working with SPARK as an honorary teenage girl for three years, writing on everything from Internet haters to body love and Halloween and contributing to their actions against the sexualization of girls in the media. SPARK was the force that drove us to #EducateCoaches, challenge Seventeen Magazine, and more.
And now, SPARK needs help. Each year, we hold a training for the team, so that girls from around the globe can have the chance to rest easy knowing they’re not alone. It’s completely life-altering to watch these girls meet and greet and work together in person, huddled over pizza and complaining about their sexist history professors and how hard it is to have a feminist consciousness at fifteen. (It’s a hard-knock life out there for smart chicks.) Trainings are where we learn more about ourselves, undergo media training, grow as writers and activists, and do karaoke to Nicki Minaj together. They’re fucking important.
true life: i was a girl activist
To continue holding that training, and sustain a well-established reputation for supporting girls’ activism at all costs, SPARK is fundraising to raise 10K on Piggybackr. We’re fundraising as a team, and I’m playing my part with an individual goal of 500 dollars. And it turns out there’s no day like today for me to begin begging you for loose change! Right? After all, even five or ten bucks will be a huge help to us as we assemble the future!
There’s tons of reasons to donate to SPARK, but here’s the most important one: these girls are the future of feminism. And it’s bright. So get into it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Hkulm7ZKIoA
Side note: Kate Nash gave SPARK 500 bucks and in return, I am writing and performing a rap on her behalf with fellow SPARK grrrl Luci. This is the kind of thing you could do with your life, you know? Think about it. Perks include haikus, mixtapes, and zines in addition to Lil Carmen‘s eternal gratitude. (Also, I believe Sarah Shuster spoke on my personal page, so.)
@c_rios haha! I am so excited!!
— Kate Nash (@katenash) April 24, 2013
You can donate today to show love to SPARK and support girls’ activism. And if you donate through the main page, just make sure you indicate that Carmen Rios is the team member you’re supporting! ‘Cause that’s me! And if I don’t make my goal I’ll be super duper embarrassed. I’m an elder in those parts, you know?
Oh, and I love you in advance.
IT’S SO FUCKING HOT OUT HERE YOU GUYS! Here’s the stories we missed while I was listening to Sugar Ray and scouting out dandelions with Eli this week.
Snoop Lion thinks rap isn’t ready for a gay MC, and would like to add that Frank Ocean is indeed not one.
“Frank Ocean ain’t no rapper,” he tells The Guardian. “He’s a singer. It’s acceptable in the singing world, but in the rap world I don’t know if it will ever be acceptable because rap is so masculine.” […]
“I don’t have a problem with gay people,” he explains. “I got some gay homies. Yeah, for real. People who were gay used to get beat up. It was cool to beat up on gay people back then. But in the 90s and 2000s, gay is a way of life. Just regular people with jobs. Now they are accepted, not classified. They just went through the same things we went through as black.”
New York Magazine doesn’t know if rap is ready for Awkwafina either, what with her being like, a woman and Asian and stuff.
awkwafina
Lum began by dabbling in rap at 17, seven years ago, producing her own tracks quietly and messing around with the program GarageBand (she has since moved on to Ableton, a less amateur option). After leaving a corporate publicity job, she became obsessed: Sometimes she’ll sit for 72 hours straight working on one song — messing with different beats, writing lyrics, putting it all together. Lum’s aural choices are sometimes delicately tinny, sometimes grungily thumping. Her lyrics have a provocative showiness and enough wit that her occasionally droll delivery has been categorized as Daria-like.
Awkwafina has also been compared to Kreayshawn, but maybe that’s just because there’s few new female rappers out there to reference. She doesn’t have Kreayshawn’s danceable, cartoonish femme style or Nicki Minaj’s almost-alien diva attitude or Azealia Banks’s deliciously dirty mouth or Iggy Azalea’s slow-moving swagger. In fact, in herSeinfeld-ian commentary on some of life’s more mundane details (flu shots, Ikea, turning red when she drinks), she more closely resembles Childish Gambino — Donald Glover’s rap alter ego — in terms of lyrical content and quick, smart turns of phrase. You could call her a thinking person’s rapper, one who takes herself just seriously enough to produce something that stands out for being funny. Take, for example, her recent video of “NYC Bitche$”: It features her reading Joan Didion (The White Album, one of her favorite books), hugging an inflatable penis (a gift from a friend for her 16th birthday), and referencing Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” video (the car scenes).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZHj4IfhxOcg
+ Let’s talk sexism in politics!
Sexist media coverage has been damaging the campaigns and careers of women candidates for years. For far too long political advisors have been telling their women candidates to ignore sexist attacks. That advice is wrong. Name It. Change It.’s groundbreaking research proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that all sexism damages a woman candidate’s standing with voters, whether it’s heightened scrutiny of her appearance, sexism masked as a compliment, or sexism that uses gendered language to attack the candidate. Furthermore, this damage affects women of all racial and ethnic backgrounds. Name It. Change It.’s research clearly shows, however, that when women candidates and third-party validators openly respond to sexist attacks, they can repair the damage done to their campaigns—and can even gather more support than they had before.
Join this session to hear from prominent women leaders of color who will explain the research’s massive ramifications for all women candidates and offer a personal response to the report’s findings.
+ Go to the Dalloway for the best book club ever, it’s super meta:
“What a thrill, what a shock, to be alive on a morning in June, prosperous, almost scandalously privileged, with a simple errand to run.” Well, your simple errand is to join us on Monday, April 22nd at The Dalloway, with
special guest Michael Cunningham, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Hours, as we discuss Mrs. Dalloway!*Monday, April 22nd:*
6:30 PM – 7 PM Arrival and Check-in
7:00 PM – Michael Cunningham kicks off our book club meeting on Mrs. Dalloway (with Q&A)
9:00 PM – After Hours MixerDiscounted LIMITED Tickets: $40 – includes snacks (cheese plates and flatbreads, sliders, grilled cheese), 2 drink tickets, tax and gratuity.
+ Table Manners was rescheduled to September 14.
+ Support FBI Pride!
Lucky for you, helping a good cause is easy and fun! Just come play bingo with us at Nellie’s on 4/25 from 6:30-9pm, and drink all the Nellie’s beer you possibly can – FBI Pride will get $1 for every Nellie’s Beer sold that night. And tell all your friends! We cannot advertise for this using government emails, so we need all the help we can get. There’s a sexy flyer attached to help spread the word.The Basics:FBI Pride drag bingo fundraiserNellie’s Sports Bar, 9th & U St NWApril 25th, 6:30pm
Next week, Stanford is hosting the most famous transgender journalist in the world, Janet Mock, as part of Transgender Awareness Week. Seeking to expand the society’s limited portrait of womanhood, Mock will be speaking on the importance of trans- inclusivity in social movements.Her keynote will be on Wed. April 17th 2013 at 7:30 PM at the Black Community Services Center on campus at 418 Santa Teresa Street, Stanford, CA 94305.Other notable speakers during the week will include Miss Major, a trans- elder who will be speaking about her experience at Stonewall (Tues 4.16 @ 7p re: TGI Justice Project), and Micah of Neutrois Nonsense taking part in a (Mon 4.15 @ 6p @ LGBT-CRC) larger panel on trans*/ace-/poc/*queer perspectives.All events are open to the public.
+ Go to the Global Fund for Women’s 25th Anniversary Gala.
+ See Eileen Myles at the MoMa – TODAY.
Artists Experiment is a new initiative in the Department of Education that brings together contemporary artists in dialogue with MoMA educators to conceptualize ideas for developing innovative and experimental public interactions. Learn more
Eileen Myles reads “dog poems” in front of Picasso’s Three Musicians (1921).
Uncontested Spaces: Guerilla Readings in the MoMA Galleries
As part of Kenneth Goldsmith’s “Poet Laureate” program, he invites renowned writers to choose works in MoMA’s collection, develop a response, and then select a space in the Museum galleries where they will perform the resulting readings and texts on Wednesdays. On selected Fridays, Goldsmith himself will contribute readings in the galleries. Visitors can meet the writers directly in their selected gallery.
+ The Oakland, California community performances of the Vagina Monologues will probably be off the chain. Daniela told me so.
+ Marriage is good for your wallet.
+ Patti Davis, Ronald Reagan’s daughter, said even though she never spoke to him about gay marriage she knows he would have supported it just because. All she knows, after all, is the heart of her father – which is a lot more than we peasant Americans ever truly knew about one of the shadiest and shittiest presidents of all time.
+ Glenn Beck followed in Bill O’Reilly’s footsteps and talked himself through gay marriage this week:
Speaking for the conservative opposition to gay marriage, Beck admitted, “we have been so foolish.” He said the argument is “not about gays, it’s not about marriage, it’s not about any of that.” Beck went on to explain that “the reason why they’ve won is because they made it about freedom.” […]
Taking on the guise of someone who wants to marry a partner of the same sex for a moment, Beck asked, “Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?” […] Beck described [the position of anti-gay activists] as simply “saying ‘because it always is.’” And if that’s all you can say against an argument of “freedom,” then “you’ve lost.”
“That’s why they’ve won,” Beck concluded, “because the principle of it is right.”
+ Gigi Chao, whose father offered millions to the man who wanted to marry his (gay) daughter, is finally speaking out. In other news, she’s still happily married to a woman and has an insane dad.
Just in case this is, you know, relevant.
“The seder table is the ideal place to bring multiple identities together in that the struggles for those identities as individuals and as communities are so integral to one another. We do not remove one identity to dawn another: we are all of our identities at all times. Just as we read of our past and the Jewish struggle for redemption, we relate our modern GLBTQA struggle for recognition, freedom, and acceptance. The seder is not something separate from GLBTQA identities, but something strongly integrated – that speaks to us as whole, multifaceted people, in a celebratory and safe environment.”
“The struggle for all people who consider themselves GLBTQ is a multifaceted struggle, reflecting not the external power dynamic of oppressor and slave, but the internal dynamic. All GLBTQ people must face a struggle within themselves, in addition to the struggle between themselves and God, their families, their communities, and their worlds”
“When Hillel combines bitter herbs, haroset, and matzah into what is referred to as the “Hillel Sandwhich,” he merges the bitterness of slavery the sweetness of self-realization, and the promise of redemption. He emphasizes the individual’s and the community’s abilities to forge identity from painful experience. By repeating the seder each year, we grow as indivduals [sic] and as a people, always from a new perspective and always in our search for true freedom.”
Two words: lesbian dads.
After exploring various parental titles, Pagenhart decided on the title “baba,” the diminutive for “father” in Frankfurter, a German dialect. The more she researched the term, the more she discovered that it had meanings in many cultures denoting a warm, loving caregiver or protector. She claimed the title and never looked back. Now, eight years later, she is the proud “baba” of two children as well as the author of Lesbian Dad, a parenting blog about her experiences navigating the murky territory between motherhood and fatherhood.
The only thing better than one mom is two! Which might explain the success of Mombian.com.
Do you ever feel like there’s additional pressure on you as a parent to “represent” your community? Like, do you get stared at in the supermarket, or things like that?
Sometimes people look at us, but I don’t mind it. I personally try to use it as an education opportunity. But sometimes I feel pressure to be perfect because we feel like we’re representing all of LGBT parenthood. Like, “Oh my gosh, if I lose my temper with our child people are going to say LGBT people shouldn’t be parents!” We’re not perfect, but we’re no more or less perfect than straight parents. It’s more important not to pressure our children to be perfect representatives of LGBT families. Our kids are going to have ups and downs of growing up and puberty and hormones, just like everyone else’s kids. We just try to show our son he has parents who love him, and that’s the most important thing. We also have to remember not to take ourselves too seriously.
The Texas Senate is considering a non-discrimination bill for people who are out at work. Meanwhile, in Wisconsin, an Applebee’s employee accuses his coworker’s husband of attacking him just for being a gay dude.
Le sigh.
DON’T FIRE ME FOR BEING FABULOUS.
One baby. Three dogs. Countless rays of sunshine.
Happy Hump Day! That always makes me uncomfortable to say so now I’m just gonna jump into the stories we missed this week.
The Puerto Rican Supreme Court ruled against adoption for a lesbian hoping to become her partner’s daughter’s mother officially, since unofficially she already is and has been raising this girl alongside her mother. They’re appealing the decision, which won 5-4 three weeks ago.
Meanwhile, in Michigan, a lesbian couple just trying to adopt each other’s children may have accidentally tested the state’s ban on gay marriage. Oops!
Two Detroit-area nurses filed a lawsuit to try to overturn restrictions on adoption by same-sex partners. But at the judge’s invitation, the case took an extraordinary turn and now will test the legality of a 2004 constitutional amendment that stipulates Michigan only recognizes marriages between a man and a woman.
U.S. District Judge Bernard Friedman will hear arguments in the case Thursday at a Detroit law school, although he hasn’t indicated when he’ll make a ruling. If he concludes the amendment violates the U.S. Constitution, gay-marriage supporters say same-sex couples would immediately be allowed to wed and adopt children.
Speaking of the eternally frustrating, often complex, and too often commercialized Very Important Partner ceremonies we love so much on this planet…
tami and cheryll, via lezbhonest
+ The Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians in Michigan now recognize same-sex marriage.
+ Bill Clinton thinks DOMA is unconstitutional, despite having signed it into law.
In a study slammed for its methodology, funding, and academic integrity, University of Texas associate sociology professor Mark Regnerus found that children who grew up in households where one parent had a same-sex relationship (regardless of whether the children lived with that parent or that parent’s supposed same-sex partner) were more likely to experience negative social, psychological, and economic outcomes than children raised by a married heterosexual couple.
Records show that an academic consultant hired by UT to conduct data analysis for the project was a longtime fellow of the Witherspoon Institute, which shelled out about $700,000 for the research. Documentation about University of Virginia associate sociology professor W. Bradford Wilcox’s dual roles contradict Regnerus’ assertions that the think tank wasn’t involved with how the study was designed or carried out.
In Hong Kong, the queers are ditching an Equality Forum because homophobes are being given a seat at the table. Outside the Vatican, Catholic women are sending pink smoke signals for equality in hopes that a women will one day be Pope. In unrelated news, the #PopeQuest shall remain unsatisfying until I become Pope because that hat would look damn good on me. And in Washington, DC, the conservative gathering of the year – CPAC – will include a pro-gay-rights panel. In Ireland, lawmakers have gays on the brain and soon gays might be able to actually work wherever they want!
On the Internet, everyone can tell you’re gay because you liked the Autostraddle page on Facebook. And lesbians of color have found a good home with Our Sista Circle.
The murder of a Mississippi gay man of color running for mayor is being monitored, because it may have been a hate crime.
Hey, remember Ashley? Maybe you met her at Caaaaaaaamp. Maybe you saw her poetry slams on the Internet and lost all of your shit. Maybe you saw her live doing a poetry slam and lost consciousness! She’s that good! And the even better news? She’s working on a book – and needs your help publishing it – and once it’s good to go she’s totally coming to your town and sleeping on your sofa and reading you sweet nothings in verse until you fall asleep. But don’t actually ask her to do that because it might seem weird and a little forward.
She really is somethin’ though, isn’t she?
http://vimeo.com/34537482
Now that you’re all ~full of feelings~ you should DONATE TO HER INDIEGOGO! Queer lady poetry: we need it and it needs us, so dish out your tips from last night and be done with it already.
http://youtu.be/Rnxbf7nCn6o
You could also donate to The Switch, the first transgender comedy series, um, ever:
Oh, and just in case you’d like to be in the New York Times: Tim Murphy, a (gay) freelance writer in NYC, is doing a story for the NYTimes Style section and is “DESPERATELY seeking some lesbian couples in open relationships who will talk to me, openly or anonymously.” Shoot him an email at timmurphynycwriter@gmail.com.
But how’s this for a call for submissions – The Feminist Wire wants your feelings on feminism and race:
It is abundantly apparent that “feminism” unmodified has not shown itself to be accountable to the necessary anti-racist project that is required for the liberation of all people. That is, “feminism” unmodified has remained tangibly accountable to “white, economically privileged, heterosexual women” while people of color continue to struggle over whether to even use the word “feminist,” or modify it to reflect the racialized communities they are accountable to through their feminist work(s). Simultaneously, white anti-racist feminists must identify aswhite anti-racist feminists in order to distinguish their work as accountable to communities of color.
All of this begs the question(s): Does feminism unmodified actually signify white, racist, capitalist, careerist etc. etc. feminism, or in other words “female self-aggrandizement”? Does feminism unmodified work to free all women? If so, how? And if not, why? […]
If we can end racism within our feminists movements, we might just be able to use feminism to end racism in the wider world. All of us have plenty to learn. Will you join us at the table and have an open, honest, and necessarily risky dialogue? Please submit unpublished critical essays, stories, research briefs, creative works, or “love notes” to Submittable by March 31, 2013. Please also include a brief bio and photo. Finally, please mark your submission “race and feminisms” so that we can easily identify it.
Also, anyone else tryin’ to fly to Los Angeles and meet the cast of “Modern Family” while simultaneously designing the world’s next most popular bow tie of all time? No? Just me? Fine. More time with B for myself, then.
1/3 of LGBTQ immigrants are undocumented.
Nearly 30% of all LGBT immigrants living in the U.S., an estimated 267,000 people, may be in the country illegally, according to a new study by theWilliams Institute. In total an estimated 904,000 LGBT-identified immigrants live in the U.S.
Do you know about ELIXHER? You should! It’s my new favourite thing, and will be yours too.
If you haven’t heard of ELIXHER, I strongly suggest you check it out. As described on its website, ELIXHER is:
“your go-to resource for all things empowering, thought-provoking, and pertinent to the Black female queer community and experience. You’ll find news, uplifting profiles, local events, political commentary, personal reflections, and more.”
Pretty cool, right? The website is the brainchild of writer and editor Kimberley McLeod who started the site in 2011 because how often do we get to see fully-dimensional queer women of colour in the media? Not often enough! McLeod understands just how important visibility is for LBTQ black women: she has firsthand knowledge of the power of the media to “to change hearts and minds, and more importantly, affirm communities too often relegated to the sidelines.” When you go to ELIXHER you’ll find articles on everything from the implications of oppressive language to Michelle Obama and cultural assimilation to poetry! Yes, that’s right: ELIXHER has a creative writing coloumn. You’ll also find hair and skincare advice specifically for women of colour, and let me tell you, my life (and my hair) changed as soon as I started following advice and using products specifically formulated for my hair!
Like Autostraddle did, ELIXHER has recently launched an Indiegogo fundraising campaign to help the site grow and to officially launch Elixher, the magazine! Kimberley McLeod explains that “each contribution will make a meaningful impact to raise the visibility of Black lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer women, as well as provide relevant, relatable and resourceful content.” ELIXHER magazine is looking forward to launching unprecedented columns such as will provide more in-depth reporting and unprecedented columns such as a fitness feature with Black lesbian health expert, Aja Davis, and a recipe section with Black lesbian chef duo, Rakita Lilliard and Chef Nina B of LoveLust. It will also continue to provide great coverage on trans* and youth issues and same-sex families, which are often ignored in the mainstream media. The site is also planning on featuring poet and activist Staceyann Chinn and America’s Next Top Model contestant AzMarie Livingston. Funds from the Indiegogo Campaign will also help expand Elixher mixers and social events to Atlanta, Chicago, and Oakland! Yeah, that’s right: Elixher exists offline as well as online and is a powerful tool for building community for lesbian, bisexual transgender and queer black women.
Here’s Kimberley McLeod on ELIXHER and the fundraiser:
Remember when Autostraddlers confirmed that they are in fact the best and most supportive audience who deserve all the cookies and t-shirts and You Do You stickers in the world? Well, Elixher was inspired! You can support Elixher’s and make a donation by visiting their Indiegogo campaign page – and yes, there are perks for donating! If you happen to be in the Washington D.C. area you can celebrate and support the fundraising campaign on March 30th, from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. at Tabaq (1336 U Street NW Washington, D.C.). There’s a suggested donation of $15 dollars and there’ll be DJ Mursi Layne and ELIXHER DC Host Committe members including ommunityorganizer Nikisha Carpenter; Jessica Rucker, co-creator of freakOUT; Aisha and Danielle Moodie-Mills, creators, threeLOL.com; and Jade Foster, the founder of The Revival Poetry Tour. Mark your calendars!
Hello, perfect humans of the Internet! Did you know Dunkin’ Donuts sold me six donuts for $3.99 this week? Are you even that into donuts? Do you know how many of us exist here on Earth? Well anyway, here are the stories we missed this week while I was sampling every flavor.
In London, shit just got adorable. This eight-year-old wrote her MP about her gay moms:
Dear Mr Jones,
I am writing to inform you that I don’t agree that children shouldn’t be brought up by lesbian or gay people. My name is [name redacted] and I am a child with lesbian parents. I have got a little sister called [name redacted] for short and I have got two mums, one is called [name redacted] and the other is called [name redacted]. I have been brought up perfectly well so I don’t see any point in you saying that. Me and some of my other friends agree that you can be brought up by anyone who will love you and care for you and make sure your [sic] happy. Please write back!
It’s a pick-me-up that came at a good time, considering LBT catholics in central London just attended their last gay sermon:
A mass for gay and lesbian Catholics has been held for the last time in central London because the Church says it goes against its views on sexuality.
The leader of the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales said it conflicted with religious teachings on sexuality.
The Archbishop of Westminster has asked organisers of the service in Soho to instead concentrate on providing pastoral care.
Gay rights charity Stonewall has said it was a “real shame”.
You may want to spend all of your money frivolously on supporting LGBT-oriented projects by funding some of the stuff below. You might also just want to buy Autostraddle underwear instead. It’s up to you.
+ UPDATE: An Abominable Crime:
Last week we’ve raised nearly $6,000 — and we just got word that the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting is offering us a special challenge.
The Pulitzer Center has generously offered to match, dollar for dollar, up to $15,000 on all future Kickstarter contributions to the film — so that every dollar donated over the next three weeks will be doubled!
+ Lesbian Love Octagon, A Musical About Dyke Drama:
http://youtu.be/Tfl1XK1yF4U
The Violence Against Women Act, also known as one of the most important pieces of legislation affecting women’s lives, doesn’t exist anymore! Poof. But it went through the Senate on Tuesday, and now there’s only one thing holding it up in the House of Representatives: a debate about whether or not LGBT people should be included. Sigh.
And now we know what we have always known really: this violence is real, it harms the LGBT communities and it can no longer be ignored. It is no longer theoretical – the U.S. government tells us the problem is real. So now that our country has defined the problem, our country now has an obligation to solve it. There is a way to address this problem through VAWA. Congress has been divided on this issue and much of the resistance to explicitly including LGBT survivors in VAWA have been predicated on the idea that we don’t know there is a problem. Now we know. And with this knowledge we have an obligated to act. We also know the way in which we can address the issues.
Refusing to explicitly include LGBT people in VAWA is no longer defensible. We can no longer hide behind the idea that we don’t know. We have always known but now those who must have ‘unbiased proof’ have it. And it’s time for the House to do the right thing for all survivors of violence.
While a bunch of old white dudes are sitting pretty on issues of safety and human rights for women, thousands of rape kits sit untested in Detroit and in the UK, members of the bar council are advocating for anonymity for those accused of crimes of a sexually violent nature:
Maura McGowan QC, who chairs the Bar Council, believes the law should be changed because allegations of a sexual nature “carry such a stigma”.
“Until they have been proven to have done something as awful as this – I think there is a strong argument in cases of this sort, because they carry such stigma with them, to maintain the defendant’s anonymity, until he is convicted,” she told BBC Radio 5.
“But once the defendant is convicted then of course everything should be open to scrutiny and to the public.”
Braxton tells theGrio.com, “I would like to play a lesbian … and do a whole make-out scene and the whole thing, just something completely different than people would expect from me. Not a lipstick lesbian, either.”
In a world where I am tirelessly forced to put up with incompetence and just regular jerks on a fairly consistent basis, I’d like to carve out a maximum of five minutes to present to you 37 Democratic Senators who called for an executive order on workplace equality for the gays, because they’re like, at least doing an okay job you know? You can find your favorite signature (I spy with my little eye Frank Lautenberg having really great penmanship here) following the letter they wrote Obama.
Some people just need to be put in their place, like this homophobic subway preacher with no idea that he’s up against a gay man whom claims with his whole heart and soul that Jesus loves him, too.
In Alaska, Republicans laughed at a reporter for fielding them questions about gay marriage, which makes me like, have zero faith in humanity or respect for viewpoints that differ from my own:
Clive Davis, music mogul, is bisexual and currently attached to another man.
In his new book, The Soundtrack of My Life, Davis recalls that his first time having sex with a man was during “the era of Studio 54”, when he was married to his second wife, Janet Adelberg. “On this night, after imbibing enough alcohol, I was open to responding to his sexual overtures,” Davis wrote. “Was I nervous? Absolutely. Did the heavens open up? No. But it was satisfying.” The experience prompted a period of “soul searching and self-analysis”, and after separating from Adelberg in 1985 Davis dated partners of both sexes. Since 1990, both of his long-term relationships have been with men.
“You don’t have to be only one thing or another,” Davis said in aninterview with US chat show host Katie Couric. “I opened myself up to the possibility that I could have a relationship with a man as well as the two that I had with a woman.” In another chat, with Nightline, Davis complained that bisexuality is “maligned and misunderstood”. “For over 50 years I never had sex with a male,” he said. “It wasn’t repressed. I had very good sexual relationships with women.”
“Millionaire Matchmaker” Patti Stanger dated an older woman once. But I don’t think she liked it very much. I also don’t know when we switched from “The D” to “The C.”
Stanger […] told McCarthy:
“I didn’t like doing her, I liked when she did me. That’s the truth. But you know, then I realized I had to have the “C,” you know what I’m talking about. I had to have a big hunk of a man.”
Jenny [McCarthy] asked Stanger, “So, never again?” to which Patti replied, “No. I’m totally, totally straight. I tried it, I dabbled. I’m for gay rights, I think they deserve to be married, but that’s it.”
America continues to make things difficult on binational couples, so they’re gonna get up and get the fuck out. Unless something changes.
“A straight couple living in the U.S. can apply for a green card based on their spousal relationship,” said Rachel B. Tiven, the executive director of Immigration Equality, a legal advocacy group focusing on gay men and lesbians. “Gay couples simply can’t do that.”
For the first time, in Mr. Obama’s blueprint, same-sex couples have been included in a comprehensive framework for immigration legislation.
The president “has long believed that Americans with same-sex partners from other countries should not be faced with the painful choice between staying with the person they love or staying in the country they love,” the White House spokesman, Jay Carney, said when Mr. Obama announced his plan in Las Vegas on Jan. 29.
Comprehensive Sex Education may finally be coming to a local school district near you!
Rep. Barbara Lee (D-CA), Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ), and 32 other Democratic politicians re-introduced the “Real Education for Healthy Youth Act” on Thursday, legislation that would “expand comprehensive sex education programs in schools and ensure that federal funds are spent on effective, age-appropriate, medically accurate programs.”
“The bill does a lot of important things — it’s a big bill,” Sarah Audelo, the Domestic Policy Director for Advocates for Youth, explained to ThinkProgress. “There’s a lot to be covered, and a lot of resources that young people need that they’re not currently getting.” In particular, the legislation would ensure that federal funding is allocated only to the sexual health programs that include inclusive language about LGBT issues, don’t rely on outdated gender stereotypes, and impart accurate information about HIV.
photo by Jason Eric Hardwick
Since gay people aren’t like, you know, hoping for the right to wed one another or anything it isn’t awkward at all that fake lesbian wedding announcements are showing up in small, local papers across the United States.
Two small town papers in Iowa and Texas published what appear to be fake lesbian wedding announcements.
Le Mars, Iowa’s Le Mars Daily Sentinel announced the upcoming nuptials of Le Mars’ own Candace Leigh Collins to Maria Ava Johns in Massachusetts. The women, the announcement explained, met while attending Texas State University.
Gawker.com reported that a separate engagement announcement using the same photo ran the same day in San Marcos, Texas. In this announcement, Collins is from Austin and engaged to Andrea Kathleen Kaufman.
The photo used in the engagements is a composite of two high school students: Melanie from Ann Arbor, Michigan and Jamie from Pensacola, Florida.
Vaughn Walker, the federal judge directly embroiled in the gay marriage challenges in California, ultimately struck down Prop 8 – and he’s lived to talk about it:
Walker is matter-of-fact about the eventual fallout from declaring Proposition 8 unconstitutional. As he told the Commonwealth Club recently, he believes same-sex marriage is “an idea whose time has come,” and he sticks by that belief. […]
With the historic arguments drawing closer, Walker makes no predictions about the Supreme Court outcome. And he says he’ll leave it to others to define his role in what many consider the most important civil rights case to reach the high court in decades.
“The remembering is for others to do,” he said, “whether I like what others remember or not.”
If you’d like to submit a tip for the AAA, send it to carmen [at] autostraddle [dot] com each week by 12 PM Tuesday EST. Tips for LGBTQ-related events, job postings, calls for submissions, and news from around the globe are encouraged. Information related to discounts on hip-hop vinyls is very much appreciated as well.
Original Plumbing, AKA the amazing brainchild of Amos Mac and Rocco Katastrophe Kayiatos, is a print magazine dedicated to “the sexuality and culture of FTM trans guys.” It was founded in 2009 and came screaming onto the Internet a year later, giving everyone on the planet even more of the amazing photos and writing that make OP great.
Right now Original Plumbing is having some growing pains related to the sustainability and usability of their website. (I feel like all of us here can relate to that pain, yes?) In further overlapping commonalities with our own website redesign, they’ve launched an IndieGoGo campaign to raise 20K and fix their site, and they have 11 days left to reach their goal.
If they don’t make it to 20K, they won’t receive any of the money they’ve raised thus far, which as I am typing is around 12,000 buckaroos. And that would be a damn shame.
If I were a high-powered rapper I’d probably just be selling my cars and funneling my cash to OP until they hit their goal and then I would send a bottle of Grey Goose over to Rocco and Amos as a finishing touch. I wouldn’t even need to write this team pick because it’d be all taken care of, la la la fantasy land everything is wonderful and nothing hurts! Unfortunately, the honest truth is that I’m only good at rapping when I’m completely drunk and Amos and Rocco probably need a lot more than one bottle of vodka to deal with the pressure of an all-or-nothing fundraising campaign.
So this is where you come in.
I know that we all have these things in common, without question: we know that finding a place where you feel understood and represented is important, and that only some people speak your language, and that when the website that gives you a voice and takes your breath away isn’t working you absolutely lose your shit about it.
Original Plumbing deserves a new website, and in the spirit of brotherhood and the revolution and Autostraddle redesign karmic juices, I’m urging you to make it happen.
Special Note: Autostraddle’s “First Person” personal essays do not necessarily reflect the ideals of Autostraddle or its editors, nor do any First Person writers intend to speak on behalf of anyone other than themselves. First Person writers are simply speaking honestly from their own hearts.
I understand where you’re coming from, all you good-hearted, liberal-thinking queer women who want to spend Thanksgiving as volunteers at a homeless shelter—or some other place set up for people less fortunate than you. Dishing up pie and turkey to the needy seems like a good way to spend a holiday during which we all (except perhaps Native Americans) are supposed to evince gratitude. Plus you don’t relish another year spending those long hours stuck with your family. Deep down you might be hoping that when you’re at the shelter you’ll meet An Interesting and Compassionate Person, also a volunteer, standing next to you and your vat of mashed potatoes in the kitchen line. You chat while she, he or ze dishes out the stuffing, and she, he or ze loves Wye Oak, Audre Lord and Mad Men too! You both turn out to have the same—at times inappropriate—sense of humor, and as the day winds down, share a secret laugh at something the others in the kitchen line don’t find funny at all. And of course that person is also someone who never feels so much like a misfit as when she, he or ze is with her, his or hir own family, the reason she, he or ze volunteered on Thanksgiving in the first place. Maybe the two of you, would, after your shift, go out together for a beer at the last non-gentrified bar in the neighborhood, exchange numbers and eventually pair off into your own little family, so you won’t have to worry about your Thanksgiving plans ever again.
I used to work at the homeless shelter that on Thanksgiving was the place for people in my city to volunteer and for politicians and high-ranking clergy to indulge in photo opportunities. Every year, for that one day, the shelter was overrun with a battalion of volunteers, so many they needed some of their own—the ones who had been there on previous Thanksgivings—to help direct their herd through the kitchen and the dining room. The other counselors and I would look at each other and laugh. We understood that these people meant well, but there were so many of them sometimes they were just doing busy-work. Everything that needed to be done—which was a lot: Thanksgiving was a huge undertaking at the shelter—had already been attended to. Remember that picture during the presidential campaign of the lizard-like Paul Ryan “washing” a clean pot at a shelter where the meal was over and all the homeless had already left for the day? I couldn’t muster the outrage that others did because that photo reminded me of every Thanksgiving at the shelter.
Which famous faces showed up to “help” at my shelter the fourth Thursday in November? Everyone: the mayor I had once protested with Queer Nation, but who, to his credit, has also come to the shelter on days of the year when no photographers were present. Despite his nine years in office, during which he always said the right things about the homeless, he never implemented policies that helped them in any substantial way. And more recently the now lame-duck Republican senator, who, with one hand, voted to cut benefits like food assistance that were meant for the same people to whom, in the shelter, on Thanksgiving, he used his other hand to offer plates piled high with turkey and trimmings. Helping to push through affordable housing measures would have been a better use of the Mayors’, the Governors’, the Senators’ time, not to mention a more lasting boon to the homeless, but it wouldn’t have made for such a camera-ready moment.
I remember when the Cardinal, the same one who Queer Nation also held protests against and who later resigned in disgrace for reasons that had nothing to do with his homophobia, sauntered into the dining room to serve stew. His manner toward the residents was like that of Louis XVI toward the peasants—and now I think: what if he had instead stopped the archdiocese from selling prime property to luxury condo developers (because if the church had any plans for that money they were crushed by the massive child abuse settlement incurred some years later)? What if he had donated a few of those closed churches and empty rectories as permanent housing for the homeless? My strongest memory of that day might then not have been after the Cardinal left, when a fellow queer (a lot of us worked at the shelter) turned to me to say, “Wasn’t that the biggest thrill of your life, seeing him here in person?” We rolled our eyes in unison.
My point is: on the day before Thanksgiving, the day after and the 362 other days of the year (including Christmas) hardly any volunteers, well known or not, showed up to help. So please, kick back this Thanksgiving and enjoy a good meal guilt-free (or attend an anti-colonial protest) with friends if your family get on your nerves. Then go volunteer at the shelter another day—weekly or monthly, because like any other activity—biking, dancing, fucking—you’ll be more skilled if you do it more than once a year.
You probably won’t be in food service—in the shelter where I worked, the residents who were part of the sober work program did those jobs every day that wasn’t Thanksgiving—but ladling out corn and peas probably wouldn’t be the best use of your abilities anyway. If you’re a lawyer, spend some time with homeless people who need legal help. If you’re a teacher, find out which skills the homeless people at the shelter would like to learn. And even if your talents don’t seem to line up neatly with the needs of those you meet, after you talk to and listen to a few homeless people, you will have a whole list of possibilities—a ride to a job interview or to the courthouse, accompaniment to a doctor’s appointment or social security office. After a year of sitting in traffic and waiting rooms you might find that volunteering isn’t the simple one-time, feel-good exercise you thought it would be. You might find some of the people you are trying to help irritate the fuck out of you. You might find some of them frighten you. You might decide your efforts would be of better use if you worked full-time on the issues that cause homelessness in the first place—and change your career path accordingly. You might find that Interesting and Compassionate Person you hoped to meet is, only a year later, you.
You can volunteer to help homeless queer youth in NYC at New Alternatives. The Ali Forney Center, a drop-in center for homeless queer youth, also in NYC, was devastated during Hurricane Sandy. You can donate to the Center. To volunteer there (they have a temporary new home) you can email volunteer [at] aliforneycenter [dot] org. You can best help other folks affected by Sandy by going here. There are links to both volunteer and donate . There are, of course, a lot of other organizations across the country that help the homeless and needy and that could use your time. Just do your homework first, since some of them have religious affiliations which prevent them, for example, from giving out condoms (to a population very susceptible to HIV infection).
Glennisha Morgan has been exclusively covering female MC’s for four years at The Fembassy; today, she released the trailer for “Turn Me Up,” a film that brings those stories to life.
Morgan directed Turn Me Up, a film chronicling underground and independent women MCs from Los Angeles to Brooklyn and everywhere in between, including Siya, Raven Sorvino, Mae Day, IB, Invincible and Miz Korona. Throughout the film the women talk gender, stigmatization and stereotypes, and their intense desire to be heard. And for what feels like the incredibly long-awaited first time ever, they’re being given space to do it in their own words.
While Morgan was covering the work and pursuits of female MCs, she collected footage from performances as well as interviews with the artists themselves. She archived the footage – and in Turn Me Up, she frees it.
Morgan’s concept when building the film and The Fembassy was to finally seek a definition and history of female rap, since we haven’t been able to settle on one via our collective media silence on the matter. Accepting that no single artist could possibly tell the whole story, Morgan went to find the formerly hidden ones. What they have to say is important and leads us closer to the heart of rap: the passion, the grit, and the work. Morgan would know well where to find the best women: in 2009, she was an honoree at the Women of Hip Hop Awards; in 2010 she was featured in BET’s first original music documentary, My Mic Sounds Nice; and she’s been published widely in Vibe Vixen, The Fader, Digiwaxx Media’s The Blast, and AOL’s Spinner.com, among others. She’s an expert, and her film is promising.
“If I could describe this film in one word, I would describe it as raw.” Morgan said. “Until now I have yet to hear the women in the trenches be so unapologetic and brutally honest.”
The Fembassy also needs funds to complete the film, and has set a hopeful Spring 2013 release goal. The Indiegogo campaign is now live, and you should totally give to it! Perks include autographed any and everything, artist merchandise from the documentary subjects, and thank-you cards (which we know you’re bonkers about).
On a side note, I’m excited for the official soundtrack.
Masculine shirts for women? Yes please.
I am excited about this Indiegogo campaign and support it because Anna Kunz, the very driven creator of this endeavor, is basically doing what I would do if I had the resources, time, or even remotely the amount of motivation that she does: masculine clothes that are made to fit women’s bodies.
What a concept! Actually, one that I’ve been griping about for years literally every time I walk into a clothing store.
“Our shirts are designed to be straight up what you’d expect to find in the men’s department: Primary colours, geometric patterns, no frills.
However, unlike shirts in the men’s department, Kreuzbach10 shirts are cut to fit female bodies. We know that women’s shoulders, chests, waists and hips are in different ratios to men, but furthermore in different ratios to each other. That’s why we have developed our core 3 cuts that cater to different body shapes and we hope to expand to more cuts the brand grows. We’re clear about which shirt is which cut, so if you buy one that fits you like a glove, its easy to find more that will make you look just as hot.”
If you’ve been waiting for someone to come along and provide us with some real menswear options, then Anna Kunz and her line, Kreuzbach10, certainly deserve the funds to get this done. It’s something to really get excited about – she’s clearly got the right idea, as her project has already been fully funded! But the campaign is ongoing for a few more days, which means that you can still grab yourself one of those cute bowties or even a shirt for supporting.
Here’s the Indiegogo video pitch for the project:
Find the campaign on Indiegogo – Kreuzbach10: Masculine shirts for Women.
It’s hard to believe Hurricane Sandy hit New York only a week ago, now that we’ve begun assessing the ruins and devastation. It seems as though every day we hear (or don’t hear) about a new neighborhood or landmark that has been demolished. Unfortunately the latest casualty hits extremely close to home: The Ali Forney Drop-In Center, a haven in New York City for LGBTQ youth who had no where else to go, is destroyed.
Executive director Carl Siciliano wrote a letter to the community that details the damage, the consequences, and how we can help. I’m including the entire letter because I think it’s important that you read every word.
Yesterday we were finally able to inspect our drop-in center in Chelsea, half a block from the Hudson River. Our worst fears were realized; everything was destroyed and the space is uninhabitable. The water level went four feet high, destroying our phones, computers, refrigerator, food and supplies.
This is a terrible tragedy for the homeless LGBT youth we serve there. This space was dedicated to our most vulnerable kids, the thousands stranded on the streets without shelter, and was a place where they received food, showers, clothing, medical care, HIV testing and treatment, and mental health and substance abuse services. Basically a lifeline for LGBT kids whose lives are in danger.
We are currently scrambling for a plan to provide care to these desperate kids while we prepare to ultimately move into a larger space that will better meet our needs. The NYC LGBT Center has very kindly and generously offered to let us temporarily use some of their space, and we hope to determine the viability of that on Monday.
We have been deluged with kind offers from people who wish to volunteer and donate goods. Unfortunately, we will have to provide our services in the time being in much smaller spaces that won’t accommodate volunteers or allow for much storage space. The best way people can reach out to help in this very challenging time is by making monetary donations. Please go to our website at www.aliforneycenter.org/hurricanesandy.
It is heartbreaking to see this space come to such a sad end. For the past seven years it has been a place of refuge to thousands of kids reeling from being thrown away by their parents for being LGBT. For many of these kids coming to our drop-in center provided their first encounter with a loving and affirming LGBT community. I thank all of you for your care and support in a most difficult time.
It’s very easy to feel helpless in the wake of a disaster. It seems as though endless people are hurting, and yet logistics and lack of resources or organization can get in the way of people who want to help with the best intentions. Jamie provided a great round-up of ways to help, but if you have been feeling overwhelmed about how to best help victims of Hurricane Sandy, or if you aren’t in the area of where Sandy hit, I urge you to consider donating to The Ali Forney Center. As a queer family, we pride ourselves on our abilities to support one another. While that’s absolutely a long-term effort that happens every single day, now is a time to go into over-drive. Donate, tell your friends, tell your family, signal-boost, and donate again…the kids who found solace at this drop-in center relied on it in every sense of the word, and now it’s gone.
One of the most beautiful and heartbreaking lines in Siciliano note is this: “For many of these kids coming to our drop-in center provided their first encounter with a loving and affirming LGBT community.” That alone shows the power of this place and its volunteers, and it’s essential that these kids continue to have such a space to exist.
Homeless LGBTQ youth are a particularly vulnerable part of our queer family, and right now they need our help more than ever.
Now is the time to prove exactly how much love we have to give.
To reiterate the message from The Ali Forney Center, the best way people can reach out to help is by making monetary donations. You can donate here or mail a check to: Ali Forney Center/ATTN: Andria Ottley, 224 West 35th St., Suite 1500, New York, NY 10001.
Last year we discovered The Slope, a comedic web series by Ingrid Jungermann and Desiree Akhaven about “superficial, homophobic lesbians” in Park Slope, Brooklyn, and it was love at first laugh. The pair, who are an IRL couple, captured the blend of shallow behavior and self-righteous indignation that we often profess to see from our neighbors (but never ourselves, naturally) in a decidedly un-PC satirical series.
Well, if you’ve found yourself wistfully thinking that you’d love to see a third season of The Slope, you’re in luck! Because…guess what?! What’s that? No, Jungermann and Akhaven are not producing a third season of The Slope — that would’ve been way too easy to guess, silly! But the reality is just as delicious: Jungermann has ventured out on her own to create a spin-off web series, a new show that will focus on her descent into lesbian middle age, as she struggles to find herself in a world where gender and sexuality have left her “old fashioned lesbianism” behind. The show, which promises to feature “same neighborhood, different gay” is appropriately titled F To 7th, presumably referring to the Park Slope 7th Ave. stop on the F train that will likely never run again thanks to Hurricane Sandy, oops sorry that is just me being sad that I am stranded in Brooklyn forever…ANYWAY!
Like most fantastic projects created by lesbians for lesbians, major Hollywood movie types are weirdly not lining up to throw money at Jungermann to facilitate this series getting made. Which is where you guys come in! F To 7th has a Kickstarter, of course, and they have less than 60 hours left to reach their ambitious goal of $14,000. Nothing I can tell you will be quite as sexy and convincing as watching Jungermann interviewing herself, so let’s let the woman speak for herself.
F to 7th Kickstarter Video: Youngerman on Jungermann from F to 7th Web Series on Vimeo.
If you’re not convinced, I just feel like you should know that Jungermann was named one Filmmaker Magazine’s 25 New Faces of Independent Film for 2012, and the cast is filled with impressive humans like Michael Showalter, Ashlie Atkinson, and Gaby Hoffmann.
Look, let’s get real for a moment: there are a lot of places you can spend your hard earned cash, and honestly after a natural disaster like the one we experienced this week I know many people are focusing on donating to the Red Cross and other volunteer relief efforts. And that’s amazing and important and I support that 100%, but I also think we can always afford to dig in our pockets and give at least $1 to good art. It’s so tough to find lesbian and queer visibility in the media world, and when we have the opportunity to help fund really great, really funny, really ambitious independent projects, I almost feel as though it’s our duty to do so. Otherwise we get stuck with another season of The Real L Word and everybody loses.
Visit F To 7th’s Kickstart TODAY, and if you’ve never seen The Slope and have no idea what this is all about, I strongly recommend you change your plans for the afternoon and fix that immediately. You can thank me later, and hopefully Jungermann can thank us all later when she reaches her fundraising goal. Then we’ll thank her for creating F To 7th, and we can all join the never ending circle of lesbians and queers who help each other out. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?
I promised you a revival. And now it’s here.
If you’re into women, wine, spoken word, all of the above, or something completely different like good lighting, big living rooms, or warm sweaters you’re probably a human being built to go to THE REVIVAL, a salon-styled poetry tour that is actually happening potentially in a city near you!
Following their campaign, which raised over $5,000, the 9-day queer women’s poetry tour is hitting Toronto, Brooklyn, Chicago, Atlanta, DC, Durham, Detroit, and Cleveland. Honoring a queer tradition of demanding safe space, each event takes place in a local home. The works will explore sexuality, humanity – our lives.
“We are doing this because we have so many stories, and instead of begging the mainstream to tell them, we will tell them ourselves,” said producer Jade Foster. “That’s the point of a poet. To remind folks that they’re experiences, their trials and triumphs are real. That they matter. Just through the simple act of talking to each other, we become more than women, we become testament. That’s the point of the tour.”
You should probably buy your tickets sooner, and not later. And maybe bring tissues and a cigarette. Or a cute girl.
Each Traditional Revival features light fare, a cash bar and a local guest poet.
+ October 5 – Brooklyn with Lambda Literary fellow Charan Morris
+ October 6 – Toronto with artist and activist Kim Crosby
+ October 7 – Detroit at LIV Resto Lounge
+ October 7 – Cleveland at Oberlin College
+ October 9 – Chicago at POW WOW Open Mic (with a workshop at Columbia College)
+ October 11 – Atlanta with Red Summer
+ October 12 – Durham with Mobile Homecoming Project’s Alexis Pauline Gumbs
+ October 13 – DC Welcome Home Concert with Rachel Eliza Griffiths & DC Youth Slam Team / Special Afterparty*
*Carmen Rios and Morgan McCormick are going to this, you know.
There’s little left to desire once you learn about The Revival, a salon-style poetry tour that aims to connect hundreds of queer women of color artists and allies. In its third year, the poetry-on-the-go movement holds living room readings with a touring troupe. This year, the tour hits Toronto, DC, Chicago, Detroit, Atlanta, Durham and Brooklyn between October 6 and 13.
But Revival needs everyone’s help – you, everyone you know, your family, your pets, your estranged friends from high school – everyone. With a modest goal of 5,000 dollars for gas, food, performer compensation, and books, they have officially launched a Kickstarter and hope to be done with the whole mess by Tuesday.
“No donation is too small and more than anything the power of a kind thought will go a long way,” says producer and poet Jade Foster. “After Frank Ocean’s blog post last week, the Internet is not to be played with. And there’s a new season turning, one that looks for the queer story. It’s up to the poets. It’s up to us to continue.“
The tour’s Kickstarter page features reviews that make it difficult not to sacrifice your life savings, let alone to click away without giving one or five dollars of your last paycheck from your shitty part-time job.
“[THE REVIVAL] was a beautiful night in Brooklyn and I, along with so many others, had so much fun,” remembers poet Yvonne Fly Onakeme Etaghene. “I’m sure the same is true for all the other cities y’all blessed with your presence. It felt good to be appreciated and understood as an artist and to feel my work and time was/is valued as important.”
Perhaps who puts it best, however, is Jade Foster – founder of The Revival:
I’m loving America right now. Shout out to Nikky Finney. I’m loving how I came to be in this place. The etymology of my name. The birthplace of my parents, and their parents, and their parents before. Southeast, Washington DC. Shout out to The New American Black.
The Revival 2011 was five black queer women poets on a national tour. Each and every concert took place in a private home. (Well, except that one time). My heart is so full I have no room, to write a message, that will market this project, that will convince you of the time we spent.
It used to be illegal for a woman like me to read.
The rewards for giving to the project online are great, too, although we all know the ultimate reward for making poetry happen is having a poetic life. (It’s karma.) For only 25 bucks you’ll get an advanced ticket in the city of your choice, and if you have a hefty 250 you’ll get an all-access pass and be invited on tour. Your life could change! You could go on the road! All in the name of something beautiful.
Last year, over 400 black women artists and allies on the East Coast were a part of Revival. This year, “The Revival 2012 Poetry Is Everything Tour” will include a focus on youth empowerment, a live documentarian creating a film about the project, and a shared queer language between countless queer women of color and the people who love them. The tour has confirmed collaborations with Durham’s Mobile Homecoming Project, Toronto’s Kim Katrin Crosby, Brooklyn’s LGBT Pride Center and a recent grant recipient of DC’s Al Sura Foundation.
So why are you just sitting there? Donate.
When Sharon Shattuck was a kid, her dad told her that she identified as a woman and that she was going to change her name to Trisha. Now, Sharon has decided to explore her father’s experience, along with the experience of LGBT families across America by making a documentary. She’s currently working on raising money for her film through Kickstarter (just one day left!).
I recently had some back and forth with Sharon about what is was like to grow up with an LGBT dad in a time and place that wasn’t necessarily always the most queer-friendly. As a future LGBT parent myself, I found Sharon’s perspective to be both useful and educational.
GINA: Because I think it would be very useful for future LGBT parents to hear from a “kid” perspective, looking back on your experience with your dad, is there anything you wish either of you had done differently? Any questions you wished you had asked?
SHARON: I think the one thing that really sticks with me from my childhood is that I felt very alone–I felt like no one else’s family was like mine, so I just sequestered that part of my life and didn’t talk about it with my friends or acquaintances. Trish (my dad) became the elephant in the room — everyone in town knew of her, but no one wanted to ask questions or to understand our family dynamic. It was very Midwestern and stoic, but there was also an undercurrent of fierce suspicion and fear from some people in the community.
I guess I wish I had talked about it more, and been more open from the start, open to answering questions and diffusing the fear that some (but not all) people exhibited. It would have been an opportunity to educate people who might not otherwise know any LGBT people. I also wish that I could have met other kids from LGBT families, but I think that when I was younger, that Midwestern tendency to not talk about things also ran pretty strong in me, so it might not have really changed things much.
I also wish that there was some sort of template for us during dad’s transition. I think that it was as confusing for my dad as it was for the rest of the family — much more confusing, I think, than not having kids, or transitioning prior to having kids. We never really nailed down which pronouns to use, or what to call dad, besides “dad” — because I feel like “mom” is off-limits, since I have a mom. And dealing with all that in a very small, conservative town only compounded the stress, because we were getting negative feedback from certain people in the community.
G: Speaking of that, let’s talk a little about your mom. How was the experience for her?
S: Well, dad told mom about being transgender before they got married, although I’m not sure they knew the term “transgender” back then. Luckily, my mom decided she was ok with that part of dad’s identity… back then, it wasn’t something that dad wanted to express in public, and so they’ve definitely had to evolve together over the years to make the marriage work once Trish realized that she wanted to identify as a woman. My mom considers herself straight, in that she’s attracted to men, so I think that being with Trish posed some challenges. Trish never had “sexual reassignment surgery” (SRS) though. I think that eventually my mom and dad came to a compromise and learned to love one another for the people that they are. There is an element of gender compromise there for my dad, too — over the years, Trish has oscillated from being more feminine to being almost gender neutral, and I think partly that was due to her desire to stay with mom.
G: That must have been tough for both Trish and your mom. How has your extended family reacted to your dad’s transition? Has everyone been supportive?
S: I don’t think dad’s gender identity was necessarily a surprise to anyone in my extended family. Trish grew up in the 60s, and was a long-haired hippie, so there’s always been an “alternative” element there. I think it was somewhat difficult for my dad’s brother and sister, because they grew up with “Michael,” but I was recently in Chicago with my extended family and it was really heartening to hear my aunts and uncles refer to dad as “Trish,” and to hear my cousins just use “Trish” automatically. My grandparents, dad’s parents, also were fairly supportive, after an initial adjustment period. Really, I think ours is one of the more happy stories of a trans person finding acceptance within the family; there are unfortunately a lot of transgender people who feel they have to hide that side of themselves from their family indefinitely, or who are completely ostracized. I’m so glad that didn’t happen to dad.
trish
G: What were some of the biggest positives of having a trans dad? How about the negatives?
S: I think the biggest positives of growing up with a trans parent are probably the same as the positives of growing up with any LGBT parent. I grew up painfully aware of how it feels to be different and so I was uncomfortable talking about people behind their backs, and tried not to judge people for being different. I think it also helped me to understand the unique struggles and discrimination that LGBT people sometimes face, so I’ve been an advocate and ally for LGBT rights for many years now. Also, growing up with a parent as unique, creative and unabashedly “weird” personality-wise as Trish made me realize that it’s okay to be different. Trish always says to “follow your bliss,” and I try to do that with every decision I make.
On the negative side, I think it’s just tough to feel drastically different because of something that’s out of your control. I felt embarrassed of dad when I was in elementary and middle school, because kids would ask me questions about my family that I didn’t know how to answer. I worried about offering my friends a ride home from school, because I wasn’t sure what Trish would be wearing when she picked us up. Trish was very uncompromising with her femininity when my sister and I were in elementary and middle school, and that caused some serious tension in our family, because that was also a point in our lives when the most important thing seemed to be fitting in with our peers. I did wish for a “normal” dad back then.
G: Because this has come up a lot in comments about your piece and because there is a wide variation in terms of knowledge about the trans community, I’m wondering if you can talk a little about your dad’s use of gender pronouns. You refer to her as “Dad,” and sometimes “him,” and “he.” Does she go by both male and female pronouns?
S: Sure. I’m learning that calling a transgender parent “dad” is far more contentious in the trans community than I realized! My sister and I grew up using “dad,” and Trish never requested any other term. When I say “dad” I almost automatically say “he,” because, well, my brain is hardwired that way, but I’m trying to change that by using “Trish,” which reminds me to say “she.” In a recent interview, I posed this pronoun confusion to my dad, and asked what pronouns people should use when addressing her. Trish said, “whatever they’re most comfortable with.” But I think that she appreciates it when we use feminine pronouns, because it’s an issue of respect.
What I want to make clear, though, is that this is how MY family chose to be, but it’s not how every transgender family is. That’s part of the reason I want to meet and interview lots of other LGBT families, as well as experts, journalists and researchers, so that I can incorporate their stories and viewpoints into the film, too.
To learn more about Sharon’s film, Project Dad, check out the official site–or watch a section of it on The New York Times.
Ever wanted to backpack through Europe, Turkey and Morocco? You can live vicariously through Brooklyn-based photographers Yael Malka and Cait Oppermann as they backpack through places like Germany, France, Czech Republic, Slovenia, England and the Netherlands on a quest to couchsurf through (and document) queer communities overseas!
The ultimate goal: To make a text and image-based book chronicling the whole two-month journey, from start to finish. They’re going to document every step of the way with rolls and rolls and rolls of film, and they’ll write down words spoken and written. They’ll collect these beautiful (and queer) images in a book to be titled Too Much Information: A Photography Book.
This is where you come in: Malka and Opperman started a Kickstarter for the photography project, and they are currently just over $1000 away from their current goal of $3500, with eight days left. According to the Kickstarter page, the fundraising costs will cover “film, film processing, and the first run of the book.” The two even “promise that any extra funding will not be spent on beer, but will be used to make this book better.” Honesty: the best policy.
“We’re going to take photos of each other every single day, photos of people we stay with, people we meet along the way, photos in transit whether through train, plane, bus or subway,” Oppermann says in the Kickstarter video. “We’re going to collect text interviews from people we stay with and also a lot of journaling from both of us throughout the whole trip.”
Some goodies you can get from funding the Kickstarter project include a digital version of the book viewable on iPad (for a pledge of $10), a postcard sent from Malka and Oppermann on their travels along with the digital book ($20), signed photographs from the trip with the digital book and postcard ($35), and a physical copy of the book, digital copy, and all of the previous awards (for $55).
Malka and Oppermann are a couple who both attended the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY and majored in photography. Malka’s work has appeared in the Brooklyn Museum and the Queens Museum, and one of her bodies of work, Coveted, deals with “girlhood, fetish and artifice.”
Opperman’s work has appeared in the Humble Arts Foundation, and Artists in Bushwick. Her photo series, Necessary Roughness, discusses her “transition from childhood and adolesence in the Midwest and Adulthood in New York.”
You can check out their Kickstarter project for Too Much Information here.
You can check out Malka’s website here, and Opperman’s website here.
And you can view some of Malka and Opperman’s photos below.
I found this fact quite surprising: there is not one non-profit at the Vans Warped Tour that represents or engages gender or sexual minorities. Which means as a community, we’re missing a great opportunity to engage with young alternative music fans with positive discourse and conversation about sexual and gender minority issues.
But don’t worry — Alex Pakula of Equalize has this shit on lock… but not without a little help from our friends. And by “our friends” I mean you obviously.
Equalize seeks to promote equal rights and activism in the music community, so it only made sense that upon discovering the void in the non-profit area of the very popular/successful Warped Tour, Pakula started a campaign.
The mission? To raise a little money to get the Equalize crew to the east coast — six of the largest cities where the Warped Tour is happening — to start conversations about equality with literally thousands of young music fans, as well as provide a safe space for all sexual and gender minorities.
I really admire Pakula’s ambition with this project — the fact that he saw a void for our community and is seeking to fill it. It’s a worthy cause.
There’s only 6 days left to support this campaign to help Equalize inspire thousands of music fans to commit to equality.
Baby Lu, written and directed by Emily Ray Reese, is a queer coming of age story set in rural New Mexico. Based on the screenwriter’s own upbringing, Baby Lu is a whirl of circumstances and events grounded in fiction, blended with real-life characters and relationships from Reese’s childhood.
This film taps into a rich and relatively unfamiliar culture, exploring the sexual awakening and identity of 13-year-old Lucinda, her relationship with her mountain man father, Zeus, as well as the social, political and economical issues that Reese herself faced in her hometown in rural northern New Mexico.
From Emily Ray Reese:
Growing up with my own mountain man father presented an array of experiences and challenges, which came to a head when I entered my teens and even more so when I realized I was gay. While it was difficult to speak with my father
writer director emily ray reese
growing up, we always had a way of tacitly communicating when he’d take me fishing or hunting. These moments bonded us forever, even though we could never openly discuss my sexuality.
I was raised in a ghost town tucked away in the mountains of New Mexico. My parents ended up on this small piece of land after their commune outside of Taos fell apart in the late 70’s. Here they survived off the land as most people in the area still do. Hunting, fishing, and farming earn your right to live in such a beautiful but unforgiving place.
The setting and the character’s of New Mexico provide the inspiration and guide for my creative vision for this film. The cinematography as well as the performances will be directed to feel as beautiful and raw as the towns I grew up in. Striving for the authenticity of New Mexican life will make the subject matter and tone of Baby Lu come alive.
Also, we know how you feel about childhood photos of tomboys.
You have less than a day to help Emily Ray meet her goal of $50,000. You’ll not only be filled with the joy of helping create this film, but our future interview with Emily Ray Reese will be so much more fun, because she’ll know that you Autostraddle ladies helped make her film a reality!
Yesterday a trailer for an indie satire was released and caused quite a stir. I feel like it’s one of those things where it was either all over your social network feeds or you weren’t at all aware of its existence. Being a black Ivy League grad, naturally this film about four black students at a fictitious Ivy League school was everywhere I looked. Rather than go the traditional movie making route, which probably would have gotten nowhere since it’s a movie about black people that isn’t by Tyler Perry, the producers of Dear White People released a trailer to raise money for pre-production and hope to entice enough investors to get the film into theaters. I have a lot of feelings about the feelings I felt watching this trailer. Check it out below and if you are as excited about this film as all my bougie black friends, throw a couple dollars at their Indiegogo.
Maybe you shave your pits. Maybe you don’t shave your pits. Probably you do one or the other, and maybe sometimes you do one and sometimes you do the other. Whatever the case, society has feelings about your armpit hair and those feelings are incredibly gendered right along with so many other body policing stereotypes and standards. Last year Ms. Magazine published a piece about #noshavenovember highlighting this double standard pulling from the trending tweets gems like this one from toiletBowlB aka Brandon Hinton:
Author Deborah Aronin explains Brandon is not alone with his aversion or disgust at the thought of lesbian, hippie, feminist women not shaving their pits:
Love it or hate it no one can deny that a lady with a pitstache gets a double-take. Why is that? Why is it that men are not expected to shave, but women are? Why is it that men who do shave must either be swimmers or gay (or gay swimmers)? Why do women stop shaving and how does the world react to them?
While it may seem silly, making this film is also very important work: Society’s demands for how women “have to look” changes over time, and affects millions of women, girls, and men! Is there a connection between obsession with hair removal and self-esteem or eating disorders? Does society’s norms affect women’s health and opportunities, both for those who follow those norms and those who ignore them?
The Pitstache kickstarter project sorely needs funds to reach their $10,000 goal with less than one day left to donate and get the country talking about their pits.
UPDATE FROM DEBORAH OF PITSTACHE:
As you probably know, the Kickstarter campaign is both over, and didn’t reach its goal, though we did raise $3,000 — that we can’t keep. Ugh. So, since that pretty much sucks, we started our own fundraising site, http://PITSTARTER.com whe |
During Artist Attack! month I wrote about the amazing South African photographer Zanele Muholi who uses her work as “visual activism.” On April 26th, Muholi arrived home to her apartment in Cape Town to learn that more than 20 hard drives with backup of her work from the years 2008-2012 had been stolen by a thief out her bathroom window on April 20th. According to her partner, Liesl Theron, the rest of her possessions were left untouched furthering the likelihood that this was a targeted attack.
The robbery has seen little press coverage, which has lead to further outrage as many believe the media blackout is due to the nature of Muholi’s work documenting queer South Africans and homosexuals in other African countries. Some of the only coverage I’ve seen of the story is by Melanie Nathan, a blogger and activist pictured at right with Muholi.
Muholi has created an IndieGoGo campaign in response:
I feel like a breathing zombie right now.
I don’t even know where to start. I’m wasted.
I’ve sent out a note to friends to tell them about the incident.
The person/s got access to the flat via the toilet window, broke the burglar guard and got away with my cameras, lenses, memory cards and external hard drives, laptop, cellphones…
Whoever ransacked the place got away with more than 20 external hard drives with the most valuable content I’ve ever produced
I am hoping that a few of my good friends are willing to go to pawn shops or to other places where this type of equipment is sold. I do not even want to know who the thief is.
I need the hard drives: ranging from toshiba, Western, Samsung at 320GB – 1TB each–these are the brands and sizes of hard drive I am looking for.
They would have gone into the pawn shop since 20 April. I am willing to pay a reward for the return of those ext. hard drives.
I certainly would pay more than the pawn shop can sell them for.
Thanking you in advance.
Nathan is asking anyone interested in establishing a reward fund for the returned goods to contact her (nathan@privatecourts.com) directly.
Zinzi and Tozama II Mowbray, Cape Town, 2010. Photo by: Zanele Muholi. Courtesy of Michael Stevenson Gallery.
The IndieGoGo campaign has raised about $3,000 so far to replace Muholi’s stolen equipment, but obviously the years worth of original photography and video footage documenting queer black history in places such as South Africa, Zimbabwe, and Uganda is irreplaceable. The stolen work included photos taken at the funerals of lesbians killed in hate crimes, as well as works in progress and work that Muholi had planned to exhibit in July. The show will now have to be canceled. The loss of these often unrepresented voices whom Muholi has worked so hard to document and share with the world is disturbing enough, but the fact that few mainstream media outlets have deemed the story unworthy of covering means that even the loss of these women’s stories is going without notice.
Will any of the larger arts, human rights or media organizations step forward to provide coverage of this story? If there is any chance of recovering her work, time is of the essence. Considering the plethora of media sound bites promoting gay rights as the new human rights frontier in America following Obama’s pronouncement last week in support of gay marriage, it would be heartening if Muholi’s story was considered worth telling.