Jane Lynch Continues to Do No Wrong, Gets Star on Walk of Fame

As you all know, we at Autostraddle love Jane Lynch. The woman can do no wrong! She’s fantastic in her many roles on TV, on stage and in the movies. She’s funny and charming at award shows. She’s gives politically savvy advice, raps “Super Bass” flawlessly, and is even classy in the midst of a divorce. And now, The Lynch has her very own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

via Jezebel

In a ceremony held yesterday, Lynch recalled her first visit to the Walk of Fame in 1992, right after she had moved to Hollywood. She rushed to find queer actress Greta Garbo’s star and take a picture with it. “Maybe in 50 years, there will be some kid from a small town in Illinois doing that to my star,” the Illinois-native said.

Currently, Lynch is working on a children’s book called Mean Marlene that is due for release in the fall of 2014. She’s signed up for another season of Hollywood Game Night, and has a movie coming out in the next month called A.C.O.D. (Adult Children of Divorce). And of course, we’ll all be (reluctantly) watching as Lynch returns in the role of Sue Sylvester as Glee trudges on. (Yes, its all been downhill since Blaine left the Warblers. But Naya Rivera, you guys. I just can’t quit that show.)

via Jezebel

Lynch’s star is located at 6640 Hollywood Boulevard in front of the Sports Center Store. Who wants to make a pilgrimage from A-Camp?

Top Ten Jane Lynch Characters

Jane Lynch, doing no wrong with Brandy Howard and Julie Goldman

In addition to consistently doing no wrong every minute of every hour of every single day, lesbian actress Jane Lynch has appeared in over 160 television shows and movies since 1988. I’m 76% sure that she appeared at least once on every single popular ’90s/early-to-mid ’00s television program, including but not limited to Friends, Dawson’s Creek, Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, Felicity, Popular, Party of Five, Third Rock From the Sun, Married… With Children, Frasier, The West Wing, Judging Amy, Cybill, Dharma & Greg, The X-Files, Boston Public, Felicity, Seventh Heaven, Caroline in the City, Monk, NYPD Blue, Arrested Development, Weeds and Desperate Housewives.

As aforementioned Jane Lynch can do no wrong. It’s a rare gift, and we’re especially grateful that Jane Lynch has got it ’cause she’s often cast into a sea of Wrong and manages to emerge Rightly unscathed — for example, Jane Lynch has a recurring role on Two and a Half Men and popped up frequently throughout The L Word‘s slow decline into feeble dispair.

Spotting The Lynch in a recent episode of Criminal Minds inspired me to look back on her life’s work and some of her most memorable roles. Please share your favorites in the comments!

Top Ten Jane Lynch Parts

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10. Joyce Wischnia, The L Word (2005-2009)

Joyce Wischnia was a breath of fresh air and a tall drink of water throughout this ill-fated series. She played the sort of classic Power Lesbian Lawyer with trademark Lynchian narcissism and ended the series in a love nest with Phyllis Kroll, a.k.a., Cybil Shepard.

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9. Diana Reid, Criminal Minds (2006-2008)

My girlfriend and I are presently addicted to Criminal Minds. I think we’re drawn to the show because it’s focused on characters with supreme intelligence who subsequently are unable to “fit in” outside of their super-special workplace, which I can relate to. Nobody else is paying attention like they are, you know? And after Penelope Garcia (played by lesbian Kristen Vangsness), Spencer Reid is the human closest-to-my-heart on this show. So just IMAGINE MY DELIGHT when Spencer went to the hospital to visit his mother and who was there, waiting for him in a salmon-colored bathroom? The Lynch, obvs. Just doing no wrong.

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8. Dorothy McWilliams, Julie & Julia

The Lynch was so good at playing Julia Child’s sister in Julie & Julia that despite the relative smallness of the role itself, she managed to generate Oscar buzz! From Entertainment Weekly: “In the course of just a few scenes, Lynch manages to bring to life all the mysterious joy and excitement of sisterhood. Indeed, when Dorothy finally crosses the pond to reunite with Julia — remember, their separation was endured without the modern pleasures of Skype or email or all that good stuff we now take for granted — their effervescent reaction is as real and delicious as the boeuf bourguignon and chocolate-almond cakes that take such prominent roles in the film.”

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7. Maggie Gallagher, 8: A Play About the Fight for Marriage Equality (2012)

The all-star cast of the reading of Dustin Lance Black‘s script about the Prop 8 trial performed live on… YouTube!  It was AWESOME.  It was extraordinarily well-cast. It starred Brad Pitt as well as Kevin Bacon, Jamie Lee Curtis, George Clooney, Chris Colfer, Martin Sheen, Matthew Morrison and George Takei,  The script was actually directly lifted from court transcripts, it was amazing to finally see what we’d read played out on screen. Jane Lynch as Maggie Gallagher, Enemy Number One? Internet Heaven. ++

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6. Constance Carmell, Party Down (2009 – 2010)

Another glorious but short-lived television program, Party Down featured Jane Lynch in its first season (she returned briefly to Season Two for her wedding). Alas, Jane Lynch became so freaking popular and busy that she had to leave the show. And then the show left us, in return.

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5. Sweeny, Role Models (2008)

They wrote this role for Jane Lynch, so it suited her pretty well. Let’s be real — I’ve not seen this movie, but I feel strongly that a role written for Jane Lynch specifically, which seems funny in the clips I’ve seen, was probably a good Jane Lynch character. Even if the movie premise itself sounds like a poorly attended douchebag convention. That’s the thing about Jane Lynch! She doesn’t need anybody else or even the script to do any work for her, she will carry the scene with dignity regardless.

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4. Jane Lynch as Jane Lynch

If there’s anything that beats a Jane Lynch character, it’s Jane Lynch as Jane Lynch. Jane Lynch as Jane Lynch at Smith College, at the DO Something Awards With Julie Goldman, hosting The Emmys, etc. Woman brings down the house every time.

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3. Sue Sylvester, Glee (2009 – present)

Another example of Jane Lynch doing no wrong while knee-deep in wrong. Sue’s done some strange shit this past season, but she’s always gets the best zingers in the history of zing, and has introduced “you call that hard?

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2. Laurie Bohner, A Mighty Wind (2003)

This mockumentary about a folk music reunion concert is SO underrated. Jane Lynch and John Michael Higgins, playing married New Main Street Singers, have awesome comedic chemistry. Tanned with frosted blonde hair, Jane’s character is a former porn star and is co-founder of Witches In Nature’s Colors, “a coven of modern-day witches that worship the power of color.”

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1. Christy Cummings, Best in Show (2000)

The lesbian dog trainer captured our hearts and never let go. This was the beginning of our obsession with Jane Lynch and we’re all still looking for the premiere copy of American Bitch, the dog magazine for women and their dogs.

Also if anybody reading this knows Jane Lynch could you ask her to do an interview with Jess for Autostraddle. We’ve been trying since 2009!

Jane Lynch and Rachel Maddow Switch Seats and Discuss Gay Marriage

We were super-stoked to see Jane Lynch on Rachel Maddow last night, but watched two hours of Criminal Minds instead. Consequently, we were super-stoked to see the video online of Jane Lynch visiting The Rachel Maddow Show last night, and even more stoked to learn that Rachel and Jane decided to switch it up a little bit — Jane did the “Best Thing in the World Today” segment about a potential shift in the GOP’s attitude towards same-sex marriage, and then Jane brought Rachel Maddow into the hot seat for a captivating conversation about media representation as it relates to advancing LGBT rights. Those foxy broads!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

In the intro to the above video, Rachel uses Mitt Romney’s awkwardness as an authority figure as a lead-in to bringing out Jane Lynch.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

That All-Star Prop 8 Play Was So Cool, You Have To See It!

You guys, as a big fan of the book — I loved the movie!

And by that I mean that I’m a big fan of the prop 8 Trial Transcripts. I’ve read them all, and I’ve read the entirety of Judge Walker’s ruling and it has been just really delightful! If you followed Rachel’s Prop 8 Trial Recap, you would know something about that delightfulness. During the trial I felt a secret bond with Rachel because we were the only people we knew who were literally reading entire trial transcripts every day, so it was like we were in a Mini-Book Club. Like we were the only ones in the world who knew about The Hunger Games.

Anyhow, Saturday night the American Foundation For Equality livestreamed a Dustin Lance Black play reading on YouTube about the Prop 8 Trial. All the trial conversations in the play are directly from the transcript of the trial, word-for-word.

What’s great about this is that they truly picked the most effective and efficient way of getting the message out about  how good this book is! Or, rather, how this trial could change the world. They gathered some famous people for a reading and put it on YouTube. Sometimes there’s only like one or two rehearsals for a reading (when nobody has to memorize their lines), so it’s not an intense time commitment — but the characters and dialogue are so rich that it’s really imperative that everybody has a chance to know this story.

A first reading of this play happened last September with a different cast. I didn’t see that one, but I saw this one, and I liked it!

So, see George Clooney, Kevin Bacon, Brad Pitt, Martin Sheen, Matthew Morrison, Jane Lynch, Chris Colfer, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, John C. Reilly, Vanessa Garcia,  Yeardley Smith, Jamie Lee Curtis and GEORGE TAKEI AS WILLIAM TAM… right now:

2011 Emmys Even Gayer Than 2010 Emmys

Generally speaking I prefer TV over movies. Probably because I like my entertainment like I like my women: short, funny, increasing in gayness and well-written (the analogy sort of petered off there in the end). Also, it might have to do with the general decline of movies worth seeing. So, the Emmys are the award show most relevant to my interests (unless you count the Teen Choice Awards). Jane Lynch hosted the 63rd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards last night making her my favorite lesbian to host an award show this year. Before I begin discussing the ceremony, it’s worth your time to read over how the Emmy nominations work since the nomination process is based on general popularity and specific episode screening.

JANE LYNCH. NEED I SAY MORE?

Though certainly some critics did not love last nights show, in my eyes, Lynch can do no wrong. She was funny, spirited and really really well dressed in a series of David Meister dresses. By all measures she was better than James Franco and Anne Hathaway at the 2011 Oscars. While Lynch’s hosting was not exactly ground-breaking on the lezzie front– Ellen DeGeneres has hosted or co-hosted four times — Lynch still brought an added self-awareness of her sexual orientation to her performance (“A lot of people are very curious why I’m a lesbian … Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of ‘Entourage”). Some of these jokes flopped or inspired other unenthused reactions, but I appreciated their unapologetic existence and regardless, Lynch aside, The Emmys were overall quite gay. Gay characters and behind-the-scenes folk were nominated; gay winners thanked their partners. Hollywood has long been hailed with nauseating frequency as part of “the liberal media,” yet we should not lose sight of how far queer actors, actresses and media personnel of all types have come. Now. On to the show. Lynch’s intro was pre-recorded and by far the funniest part of the night. The premise was that all of TV Land lived in one big apartment building. Alec Baldwin was initially supposed to play the “president of TV” in said intro, but quit and declined to attend the Emmys after Fox censored one of his jokes about the NewsCorp hacking scandal. Lynch joked she would be lip-synching, but indeed sounded downright awesome. Just watch it for yourself:

The comedy category not only started off the Emmys, but indeed stole the show completely. Modern Family dominated. I mean, seriously dominated. Modern Family was nominated in every Comedy category with the exceptions of Outstanding Lead Performance (ensemble casts are considered without leads). Modern Family took home five awards including Directing, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Writing and Guest Actor. Due to multiple nominations in each category, literally every adult cast member of Modern Family, three of their directors and two writers were nominated. The only Modern Family loss was Nathan Lane losing to Justine Timberlake‘s SNL skits for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series.

JULIE BOWEN, MICHAEL SPILLER, TY BURRELL, STEVEN LEVITAN AND JEFFREY RICHMAN, AND THE WHOLE DAMN SHOW

Ty Burrell‘s acceptance speech was particularly funny and worth watching:

Plenty of people thought Steve Carell should have won the Outstanding Actor/Comedy award this year for his final portrayal of Michael Scott on The Office, but I must admit when Jim Parson won for playing Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory I literally stood up, fist pumped, pointed at the screen and yelled “Yes! Yes, damn it, yes!” Some might say I’m simply partial to Parson because I’m a gigantic science geek, and yes, they’d be partially right (pun intended). Regardless, Parson’s acting deserves the awards he receives because, in truth, the scripts are not that spectacular. There is a reason that Big Bang wasn’t nominated for Outstanding Writing/Comedy or Outstanding Directing/Comedy. Parson brings to life what could be simply a clique show about nerds through the mannerisms and verbal cadence he brings to a character wholly unlike himself. His acting is so fresh that I’d pay $2.99 extra for it in the Whole Foods produce department.

JIM PARSON AWKWARDLY ACCEPTS HIS AWARD FROM ****** ******

The announcement of Outstanding Actress/Comedy is funnier if you watch it before I talk about it:

In a stroke of sheer genius (via the mind of Amy Poehler) each of the nominees for Outstanding Actress/Comedy walked on stage at the announcement of their nomination and held hands a la Miss America. It was fucking hilarious. Though I’ve never seen Mike & Molly the show for which Melissa McCarthy won, I should probably start watching immediately since she managed to beat out Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I can’t help but wonder if perhaps the Emmy was a slight nod to Bridesmaids as well, but it’s hard to say. Either way, it was awesome to see Sookie St. James win an award.

MELISSA MCCARTHY IS THIS YEARS QUEEN OF COMEDY

Somewhere, approximately between the Comedy and Drama categories aired an epically funny video bringing together characters from all different comedies to complain about their jobs. Clips like this are the reason to watch award shows.

Unfortunately, after the Comedy awards were given out, the show sort of went downhill. The awards for Drama took a serious hit in the gay department– mostly in that Modern Family wasn’t 90% of the nominations. Also, with so many of the nominations going to AMC and premium channels, it would be surprising if viewers, like me, didn’t feel a bit left out at times. The presenters continued to try to make jokes, but were significantly less successful than the actual comedians. Friday Night Lights earned two awards; Outstanding Writing/Drama (Jason Katims) and Outstanding Lead Performance/Drama (Kyle Chandler). I don’t watch Friday Night Lights because, um well, it’s a sports drama set in Texas without any major gay characters (the Google told me there was briefly a lesbian who kissed a guy though). Similarly, Julianna Margulies won Outstanding Lead Actress/Drama and Margo Martindale won Supporting Actress/Drama for The Good Wife and Justified, respectively, also two show I don’t watch. What can I say? Dramas make me sad.

KYLE CHANDLER. I HAD TO GOOGLE HIM.

Martin Scorsese won for his direction in the pilot of Boardwalk Empire. I mean, seriously? It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

NO COMMENT

Though many praised his performance, I was still very pleased to see that Peter Dinklage took home the award for Outstanding Supporting Performance/Drama for his role in Game of Thrones. Dinklage was well cast and was therefore at his best in Game of Thrones in his signature rude, pretentious and sharply intelligent character. I do believe it’s also worth nothing that Dinklage is the first little person to win the award.

PETER DINKLAGE IS A BADDASS

One of the best parts of the Emmys each year are the announcement of nominees for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program. This is code for Best Latenight TV Show. Basically each show has to find a way to recognize the team of writers that contributes to each episode. Of course, with a team of comedy writers, they’re not just going to list some names and call it a day.

Once again, no surprises here as The Daily Show took the only categories anyone cares about. I particularly loved this acceptance speech.

As the Emmys wound down, Downton Abbey prove the little guy really can win, as the PBS miniseries beat out its exclusively premium channel competition for four Emmys: Outstanding Miniseries or TV Movie, Outstanding Writing (Julian Fellowes), Outstanding Directing (Brian Percival ) and Outstanding Supporting Actress (Maggie Smith). Yes, okay that says Maggie Smith. So I guess the little guy can win when it imports a show from London with a £1 million per episode budget and Professor McGonagall in the cast.

WRITER/PRODUCER JULIAN FELLOWES SAYS SOME STUFF WITH A BRITISH ACCENT I FORGET NOW BUT SEEMED QUITE IMPRESSIVE AT THE TIME

As all award shows must, the Emmy’s took the time to remember those who had passed in the last year. I know I’m getting old because I’ve gotten to the point where I know practically every actor they show. Noticeably missing was Jeff Conaway, best known for playing Kenickiein the Grease and Bobby Wheeler in Taxi. While I appreciated the life music, I was slightly disappointed that the focus was more on the singers than the In Memoriam reel. Also, who are these guys singing? O-Town? (I googled it, they’re called the Canadian Tenors.)

The night ended with the announcement of the Outstanding Drama Series and Outstanding Comedy Series. Is anyone else sort of surprised to find out there’s no grand Outstanding Series Regardless of Genre category? No surprises for the whole salami, Mad Men won the award for Outstanding Drama Series for the fourth year running (every year the show has aired). Even under the veil of a period-show, Americans love a show about hot women in tight dresses who have to do what men say.

LARGE AND IN CHARGE CAST

Similarly unsurprising was Modern Family‘s win. The last win of the night, the producer still managed to make their speech heartfelt and funny.

That was about it. Not exactly a nail biter, but I think a subtle nod to America’s (or at least Hollywood’s) growing normalization of queers in the media. Oh also those guys from Lonely Island did a medley of their songs from the last year.

Glee Kids Strike A Pose for Vogue As Jane Lynch Releases Memoir

GLEE:

The Glee kids are all fancy in red and black for Vogue‘s promotion of Fashion’s Night Out, an evening of nation-wide retail events scheduled for September 8th. Interestingly, Amber Riley (Mercedes) and Naya Rivera are missing from the photo and Chord Overstreet (Sam) is present, despite not being a part of the upcoming season. Ironically, it’s actually Kevin McHale (Artie) who is the male fashionista IRL, not Chris Colfer:

Meanwhile, Jane Lynch is the busiest woman in Hollywood this month as she prepares to host the Do Something awards as well as the Emmys in September. She has also released an excerpt from her memoir, Happy Accidents, to be released September 13:

“If I could go back in time and talk to my twenty-year-old self, the first thing I would say is: ‘Lose the perm.’ Secondly I would say: ‘Relax. Really. Just relax. Don’t sweat it.’

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t anxious and fearful that the parade would pass me by. And I was sure there was someone or something outside of myself with all the answers. I had a driving, anxiety-filled ambition. I wanted to be a working actor so badly. I wanted to belong and feel like I was valued and seen. Well, now I am a working actor, and I guarantee you it’s not because I suffered or worried over it.

As I look back, the road to where I am today has been a series of happy accidents I was either smart or stupid enough to take advantage of. I thought I had to have a plan, a strategy. Turns out I just had to be ready and willing to take chances, look at what’s right in front of me, and put my heart into everything I do. All that anxiety and fear didn’t help, nor did it fuel anything useful. My final piece of advice to twenty-year-old me: ‘Be easy on your sweet self. And don’t drink Miller Lite tall boys in the morning.'”

THE VOICE / AMERICAN IDOL / ADAM LEVINE:

In a new interview with Out Magazine, Maroon 5 frontman and The Voice judge Adam Levine calls out American Idol for not promoting out contestants (two of The Voice finalists were out lesbians):

“What’s always pissed me off about Idol is wanting to mask that, for that to go unspoken,” Levine said in the interview. “C’mon. You can’t be publicly gay? At this point? On a singing competition? Give me a break. You can’t hide basic components of these people’s lives. The fact that The Voice didn’t have any qualms about being completely open about it is a great thing.”

He also talks candidly about his brother who happens to be gay:

JUST KIDS:

We’ve already told you how f’in good this book is and now Patti Smith is co-writing the screenplay to turn it into a feature film! So far, Kristen Stewart and James Franco are the favorites to play Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe.

GREY’S ANATOMY / CALZONA:

Happy times for Callie & Arizona sayeth writer/creator Shonda Rhimes:

Glee’s Jane Lynch, Heather Morris & Naya Rivera All Rooting For Brittana

See, it’s not just us lesbians desperate for 2 minute interludes of insinuated sex between Brittany and Santana!

Everyone is on Team Brittana:

According to Naya Rivera:

“It’s so complicated. It keeps changing! I think ultimately they are best best friends, and as far as [Santana’s] sexuality, that’s one of the great mysteries of the show, and I appreciate that. But I would like for them to maybe pick a side.”

Comic genius Heather Morris has tried to manipulate the directors:

“Naya and I will sit down in seats next to each other and the director will be like, ‘No, you have to go sit next to Artie.’ And we don’t have conversations anymore. It’s weird. It’s weird because [Brittany] has a boyfriend now.”

On the ‘scissoring’ make out scene she tells Movieline:

That was so fun to shoot! Not awkward at all. It was funny because when we were shooting it, we were thinking that it would be a more serious scene than it ended up being with all of the editing. I don’t think we’re ever going to have a scene like that again though because I’m dating Artie. That’s a really good relationship.

Naya says she understands the separation for the time being but hopes that at some point Brittany and Santana do reconnect.

“I think that we have great chemistry working together, Heather and I. As far as seating order, some of the fans are upset that we’re not together anymore. But I feel like they have to understand that the characters are going through different changes and some people are going to date other people for a little bit. At the end of the day, Brittany and Santana are always going to be best friends, and as far as what they are going to do with their relationship, it’s up to writers, but I would love to represent because we know that there are tons of people who experience something like that and it’s not comical for them in their lives—what they are going through that we are representing. So I hope that maybe we can shed some light on that.”

Jane Lynch tells AfterEllen:

It’s so much fun to have a lesbian relationship. Well, what I think is great about it is that there, and also you might be too young for this, but they are just very open about sexuality. I love that they grab each other’s hands and stuff like that. I think what it does is kind of shows that sexuality many times is not black and white there are a lot of grey areas.

Furthermore on the topic of Brittany and Santana, we found this little gem of a tumblr composed entirely of Brittana sketches. It’s cute! It’s called Paper and a Pencil.

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(@eonline)

Also, speaking of Jane Lynch….

Curses! All we want is to interview The Lynch but of course The Man wins again and AfterEllen/AfterElton get the one-on-one. Anyway, they got her to say a lil something about Brittana and turns out she’s a big fan (obvs):

It’s so much fun to have a lesbian relationship. Well, what I think is great about it is that there, and also you might be too young for this, but they are just very open about sexuality. I love that they grab each other’s hands and stuff like that. I think what it does is kind of shows that sexuality many times is not black and white there are a lot of grey areas.

In a surprise twist, it looks like Jane is actually on Team Setoodeh?

Jane Lynch on Gay & Straight actors:

I don’t know when or if that will ever happen. I think because since most of the world is straight — and maybe we’ll get to a place where this will happen — most of the world is straight and we want the audience to project their hopes and dreams for love and romance onto those actors. And if it’s not in some way possible, maybe never probably, in their mind that it could never happen, then they’re not going to do it. You know, most people are straight, and I think that’s probably why.

She adds:

This is a business of projection and desiring people from afar. And watching people go through trials and tribulations, so there has got to be some truth to it, in terms of, “I could see myself with that person.” Because the leading man and lady are the person we want them to fall in love with, and most of the audience is straight. So for right now, we can only use straight actors.

(@afterelton)

Jane Lynch & Dan Savage Cut the Bullsh*t with Newsweek

THE LYNCH CAN DO NO WRONG:

Jane Lynch and Dan Savage share their frustrations regarding the state of the gay union in a refreshingly bullshit-free interview with Newsweek.

On Obama:

Lynch: Yes, we thought the great hope of Obama was going to magically change all that, and it doesn’t seem to have…
Savage: …had the intended effect.
Lynch: He’s just nicely walking the middle.
Savage: And unfortunately, when you split the difference on gay and lesbian people, what you wind up with is no legislative progress. You get a lot of nice speeches, you get invited to cocktail parties, and we have shit to show for it.

On DADT (the interview was conducted before the Senate vote):

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GLEE:

20th Century Fox’s holiday greeting card written by Glee co-creator Ian Brennan (who writes Sue Sylvester’s dialogue), directed by Ryan Murphy and starring The Lynch (and a cameo from Mr. Shoe). Of course her marriage was a publicity stunt and she’s getting the Glee kids sick kittens for Christmas.

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ANI DIFRANCO:

Are you a member of the Ani Difranco Appreciation Club? Of course you are. You’ll find this pair of interviews, Ani: Then and Now compelling as they compare her current tastes in music with the Ani of 1995. (@motherjones)

LINDSAY LOHAN:

Can’t this kid catch a break? Ugh, and right before Christmas! Lilo is under investigation for “misdemeanor battery” for allegedly attacking a female staffer at the Betty Ford Center. FYI, she’s in there because she failed a drug test after she was freed from jail. People on the inside are saying the argument started after the Betty Ford staffer yelled at LiLo for returning after curfew after hanging out at a bar. (@latimes)

LADY GAGA:

Want a State of the Gaga? It’s coming. BORN THIS WAY IS COMING (in February).

Jane Lynch Hosts SNL, Real L Word’s Nikki & Jill Finally Marry

THE LYNCH CAN DO NO WRONG:

Jane Lynch hosted SNL this weekend where she sang a new Glee theme song, seduced Andy Samberg and played Suze Orman’s former “roommate.” The Lynch fit right in with the SNL crew, confident as ever – with her improv skills to fall back on.

The monologue:

As Suze’s former roommate on The Suze Orman Show:

THE REAL L WORD:

Big news!! Nikki & Jill finally GOT MARRIED Saturday night. The wedding happened. Dunzo.

The deets: It was a private Jewish ceremony in Malibu attended by most of the RLW cast minus Mikey. Jill’s mother and father gave her away and Nikki was given away by her mother. The brides wore gowns and dresses by UK designer David Fielden and Winnie Couture, cause they’re fancy like that. Nikki is now a full fledged law firm, taking Jill’s last name: Nikki Weiss-Goldstein. Mazel Tov! (@advocate)

JARED LETO:

A hot girl with amazing make-up skills transforms herself into Jared Leto.

GLEE:

Glee is doing Rocky Horror! The episode airs October 26th for Halloween and Chris Colfer is psyched:

“Riff Raff is the best character, and everyone was amazed at how incredible the makeup was,” says Colfer. “I was mistaken for a blonde woman a couple times. All I kept thinking was, ‘You did this to yourself, Chris.'”

Here’s what we know, casting-wise:

Kurt as Riff Raff
Rachel as Janet Weiss
Finn as Brad Majors
Mercedes as Dr. Frank-N-Furter
Quinn & Santana as Magestic

(@ontd)

MELISSA ETHERIDGE / TAMMY LYNN MICHAELS:

And so it goes. Tammy, Melissa’s former partner and mother of her twins, has blogged again explaining how her financial situation has left her and her children hungry and depressed after the break up earlier this year. Toward the end of the post she comments that chemotherapy changes brain chemistry and people rarely emerge the same after going through it.

“pays all the bills”
not entirely true

“pays all the bills she chooses to pay”
“pays all the bills her people thinks
are important enough to pay”
is more accurate

when i went to get cash
just last week
for the three of us to eat
nothing

today i was shopping for birthday decor
4th next sunday!
little cash for lunch?
nope- not enough funds
no food

someone told me that chemotherapy just messes with a brain chemistry, changes the brain, the person, and makes them just in general different. they might b meaner, or illogical, often imbalanced, or whatever. but they just don’t come out the same. hardly ever, i am told. and they can’t help it. it just is.

and i think about that alot too.

(@hollywoodfarmgirl)

VIDEO: Jane Lynch Visits The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Thanks Her For Blazing Gay Trails

Jane Lynch stopped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday, which we would’ve watched if Time Warner hadn’t cut our cable for ‘unpaid bills.’ And as we’ve perhaps mentioned in the past, we love Gay Day on The Ellen Show! We love every opportunity we get to see a GLBT famous person thank Ellen for blazing the trail they’re currently tearing through in all of their flaming, homosexual glory! Whether it’s Adam Lambert discussing the AMA controversy, Chris Colfer talking about getting bullied in school, Lindsay Lohan processing a public lesbian breakup, Wanda Sykes talking Prop 8, Lady Gaga thanking Ellen for making her feel okay about herself and getting all giggly and humble, you know that Ellen gets it, and that makes the moment far more touching than it is when Phil Freaking Donahue (or ‘Dr’ Phil for that matter) is listening to the story from their vantage point of straight white male privilege.

JANE LYNCH y’all:

GLEE returns September 21st and they’re adding a Filipina character, Sunshine Corazon, a foreign exchange student who sings Lady Gaga in the bathroom with Lea Michelle and is “dazzled by what she sees as the exciting and glamorous world of show choir.” Oh GLEE, you special special show, always finding new ways to extract humor from various stereotypes. You know those foreign exchange students, always “dazzled” by fancy America and your special singers! Maybe Lea Solanga will turn out to be her Mom, and then Idina Menzel, Lea Solanga, Sunshine & Rachel can all sing “I Dreamed a Dream” together.

Here she is in her hat:

Pay attention to this video because that guy in the shower might or might not be the guy who may or may not be showering with Kurt!

Lindsay Lohan is BACK, Baby: Covers Vanity Fair, is a ‘Damn Good Actress.’

LINDSAY LOHAN IS BACK:

Remember how Lindsay went to rehab and we showed you a 90 photos of Lindsay for the 90 days because that’s how long she was gonna be gone, and we put a moritorium on Lindsay Lohan posts until she returned? Well she’s back and she’s gonna be on the cover of Vanity Fair, lookin’ good!

They interviewed her before she went to jail though, so still no word on any possible entanglements with the hot chick from Telephone.

There’s a “sneak-peek” of her interview on TFS:

“If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I’m taking and my father says I’m taking—so that says something, because I was fine,” Lindsay Lohan tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales. “I think everyone has their own addictions and hopefully learns how to get past them,” she says, in an interview conducted one week before her jail time began. “I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life.”

Lohan was visibly upset when she spoke with Sales about Ali’s presence in the courtroom, calling it “heartbreaking” to see her sister cry. However, Lohan feels conflicted about her father’s unexpected appearance at the hearing, telling Sales, “The worst part of it is you turn around and you see your dad crying and normally you’d be, like, happy that your father’s there. But then he has to go and do an interview right after.”

Sales reports that Lohan thinks her career is far from over. “I don’t care what anyone says. I know that I’m a damn good actress. … And I know that in my past I was young and irresponsible—but that’s what growing up is. You learn from your mistakes,” she tells Sales.

Lohan adamantly denies rumors of drug abuse, telling Sales: “I’ve never abused prescription drugs. I never have—never in my life. I have no desire to. That’s not who I am. I’ve admitted to the things that I’ve done—to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things ’cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, O.K., ’cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it.”

Lohan blames her troubles, in part, on hanging out with the wrong crowd, Sales reports. “So many people around me would say they cared for the wrong reasons. A lot of people were pulling from me, taking from me and not giving. I had a lot of people that were there for me for, you know, the party.” And when she first moved to L.A., Lohan says, “it was very go-go-go and I had a lot of responsibility; and I think just the second I didn’t have [structure] anymore—I was 18, 19—with a ton of money and no one really here to tell me that I couldn’t do certain things … And I see where that’s gotten me now, and I don’t like it.” She says tabloids were her main source of news, and calls that “really scary and sad… I would look up to those girls… the Britneys and whatever. And I would be like, I want to be like that.”

Sales interviews several paparazzi, and reports that Lohan often cooperates with them for a fee, though Lohan denies this. “If I called her up right now and said I’ll give you $10,000, she’d come right down,” a photographer tells Sales. “Once you’re famous, there’s always a way to make money,” another photographer says. “She might not be doing what she’d like to be doing, but she’ll always be Lindsay Lohan.”

The October issue of Vanity Fair will be available on newsstands in New York and L.A. on Thursday, September 2, and nationally and on the iPad on Tuesday, September 7.

THE LYNCH CAN DO NO WRONG:

In case you missed Jane Lynch‘s big Emmy win, check out her lovely and gracious speech in which she thanks her wife Lara and step-daughter. Awww.

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REAL L WORD’s TRACY & STAMIE:

Are we all aware that  Tracy & Stamie continue to keep fans in the loop with videos from their post-Real life on ourfifteenminutes.com? This time it’s pretty f*in amazing (well, for us) as it features T&S reading OUR RECAP of Fashion Week.  What do we learn? Stamie totally missed Mikey’s proposal to Raquel’s bra strap flyin’ in the wind because she was in the bathroom. Good times.

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RUPAUL’S DRAG U:

In RuPaul’s spin-off series, RuPaul’s Drag U, contestants participate in the same sort of challenges as on RuPaul’s Drag Race with one key difference: their gender. But what does it mean when a woman dresses in drag? (@boston)

HOWL:

Are you as obsessed with HOWL as we are? That’s too bad. The film opens the Portland Gay & Lesbian Film Festival on October 1, solidifying its status as the queerest thing to happen in movie theaters since you went down on that girl in the back row in the eleventh grade. The film festival will also feature “The Secret Diaries of Miss Ann Lister,” as well as other documentaries and features from around the world. (@oregonlive)

RUBY ROSE:

QTown interviewed Ruby Rose, our favorite lesbian Australian VJ:

Q: Your Kristen Stewart tweet certainly got people talking…is it the way she looks disgusted when she looks at guys that makes you think she’s a lesbian? Or was it more like an overall gaydar alarm?
RR: I cannot believe that me joking around saying ‘clearly she was a lesbian’ made world wide news… I feared for my life from Twilight stars all around the world. I was one step away from wearing garlic around my neck. Truth is, she just has an enormous gay vibe, her eyes, mannerisms, voice and the fact she looks far more comfortable in ‘The Runaways’ as a lesbian than she ever did kissing Mr. Pattinson. Whatever her sexuality, that’s her business…but let’s just hope for our sake she’s a lesbian because she would make a great one.

MARVEL:

In contrast to the recent controversy over Avatar: The Last Airbender, Marvel has confirmed that for the movie version of Runaways they will make sure to cast an Asian-American actress for the part of Nico Minoru. “To address your concern over casting for the role of Nico, as we do with all of our films, we intend to stay true to the legacy and story of the comic when casting these parts. Thus, our goal is to cast an Asian American actress as depicted in the comic series and the casting notice will be adjusted accordingly.” The amended casting announcement now reads: “Uniquely beautiful, nurturing but guarded Female, Asian-American, must play 16-18. Must be at least 16 by January 2011.” (@racebending) (@ontd)

LILO:

According to an early Machete review, Lindsay Lohan is “nude almost the entire time.” Someone please see this and confirm/deny. (@jezebel)

62nd Annual Emmy Awards 2010: Awards Shows Are So Gay These Days

Can you believe it’s been a whole year since The Emmys 2009? Well, it hasn’t been, actually. This year The Emmys are like three weeks early for reasons relating somehow to football. Regardless, the theme of this year’s Emmys is “radical liberal homosexuals control Hollywood, duh!” and the proof is in the pudding: if you want to earn an Emmy, you need to have gay people in your show. Also: HOLY CRAP THAT’S A LOT OF WHITE PEOPLE. I mean look at the white white whitey white whiteymcwhiterson faces! WAY TO GO TELEVISION, for Chrissake DIVERSIFY YOURSELF.

Watch The Emmys with us! Below you’ll find a periodically updated post reflecting the actions of the Emmy Awards ‘as they happen’ but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a live-blog, because we don’t care THAT much.

We’re pretty sure AfterEllen stuffed the ballot box because all the ladies that gay ladies who like straight ladies liked were nominated, like everyone from 30 Rock. I don’t like straight girls because I don’t want to like people who don’t like me back. Does anyone else feel that way?

Oh hay Jane Lynch what’s up?

Best Comedy Series:

30 Rock, NBC – Dorothy Snarker and DJ Carlytron love this show, so it must be about gay people.
Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO – Didn’t know this was still on the air, who cares NEXT.
Glee, Fox – Singing, dancing, homosexual characters, homosexual actors, we’ve been through this.
WIN! Modern Family, ABC – Actual gay couple with child.
Nurse Jackie, Showtime – Written by LESBIANS, has gay people.
The Office, NBC – Oscar is gay, Michael Scott has nothing against gay people.

Best Drama Series:

Breaking Bad,  AMC – What the hell is this show even about? Idk.
Dexter, Showtime – Stars David Fisher from Six Feet Under, who was gay.
The Good Wife, CBS
Lost, ABC
WIN! Mad Men, AMC – I hear the people like this show.

Variety, Music or Comedy Series:

–>All of the nominees in this category work for the gay agenda.

The Colbert Report, Comedy Central
WIN! The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, Comedy Central
Real Time With Bill Maher, HBO
Saturday Night Live, NBC
The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien, NBC

Actor in a Comedy Series

WIN! Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Steve Carell, The Office
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Matthew Morrison, Glee
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm

Actress in a Comedy Series

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures Of Old Christine – Wanda Sykes is on this show and Wanda Sykes is gay.
Lea Michele, Glee – I’m not saying that she’s gay or anything, because she definitely is not. La la lalalalalaalala #internattack
WIN! Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie – Nurse Jackie is written by a lesbian, so it’s basically a lesbian brain winning.
Tina Fey, 30 Rock – GGWLSG (Gay Girls Who Like Straight Girls) LOVE Tina Fey with a fervor and passion which, to be honest, I have never quite understood.
Toni Collette, United States Of Tara – Gay alter, gay son.
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation – GGWLSG (Gay Girls Who Like Straight Girls) LOVE Amy Poehler.

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series:

WIN! Jane Lynch, Glee
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Kristin Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Holland Taylor, Two And A Half Men – If she wins this, we’ll all know she’s really winning for her role as Helena Peabody in The L Word.

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series:

[This is possibly the gayest group of nominated persons in the history of gayness, which as we all know, is the history of humanity. I know John Cyrer isn’t technically gay, but as I’ve said a million times before, Duckie and my Mom are basically twins and my Mom is a lesbian.]

Chris Colfer, Glee
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
WIN! Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men

Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Rose Byrne, Damages
Sharon Gless, Burn Notice
WIN! Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

This opening number is probably giving a lot of you emotional tremors because it combines Betty White, the entire cast of Glee, Sue Sylvester, that Tina Fey woman again, and other people on television programs.

Here’s a photo:

Eric Stonestreet plays a gay person on Modern Family but is not gay in real life, which is like playing a retarded person in a TV show or movie. Gilbert Grape Award. It’s really hard to act gay, they have to touch each other! He won an Emmy.

laneia: things that will never be funny: twitter jokes

Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd won an Emmy for writinga show that features two gay people and an adopted baby.

riese: it’s too bad lindsay lohan isn’t there
laneia: i was just thinking that?

JANE LYNCH WHO IS GAY won an Emmy for being in a show called Glee which has gay people in it, and she thanked her gay wife. I feel like this post will be good for SEO.

The Gilmore Girl’s Mom bombed a gay joke with Chandler Bing, and then a bunch of gay jokes happened in a row, too fast for us to know if they were offensive or not. UPDATE: Laneia liked it. Then Ryan Murphy won something for Glee and thanked his boyfriend which makes this the second gay partner thanked of the night.

Some more gay jokes, some more sex jokes, and people who are super grateful, it’s like Oliver Twist or something.

Mad Men wins something. Also Top Chef won something. Cutest Ashley Merriman? I like singing and dancing.

I think they are trying to be cool by telling ‘self-referential jokes’ and being ‘deprecating’ and ‘snarky’ and also using the words ‘gay’ and ‘sex’ is often as possible. I guess that’s kinda what this website does. I hope we pull it off better than they do.

Things have continued to happen: that actress who looks like Julia Roberts read words from a scroll of paper. She wears reading glasses and has a professional facial expression.

A video montage reminded us that not only are these people good looking, but they also gave money to charity following natural disasters.

There was a musical montage where Jimmy Fallon, dressed as Elton John meets Barbie Dream House meets Perez Hilton, sang an ode, I believe, to Law & Order.

‘What? Law and Order is cancelled?’ I said to Laneia.

‘We talked about this already.’ She said.

‘Oh,’ I said.

Later on in the program, Ricky Gervais, a cherub humorous man from The Office UK, addresses the audience about a lack of backstage alcohol. He makes a few good jokes and then gives everybody a beer. The attractive men & women in the few front rows eagerly accept cold bottles from cheery usher/servers in white waistcoats.

One of the awards goes to an award show. Not this one, but the Tonys. So what happened was an award show gave an award to another award show.

Another theme of the program was “people behind the scenes have feelings.” People we’ve never heard of as well as some famous-looking people answer questions about studio memos and childhood dreams.

‘I don’t like awards shows,’ Laneia says. “I don’t understand. it’s like, they’re giving out their own awards. it’s not like getting an award from your teacher. A teacher is relatively unbiased. but this is like, from your peers. Like ‘best dressed.’ I was awarded ‘best dressed’ in high school and do you know why? Because a group of 5-8 girls got together one weekend and decided who would win what, so everyone important would be included in the superlatives in the yearbook. and then they told ppl who to vote for, and they did.’

‘These dresses are more expensive,’ I say.

I wonder to myself, ‘I wish The Real L Word was on.’

Later, I think: ‘I wonder how many people will want to sell for Avon tomorrow.’ I decide to wait to call Avon until everyone else has already tried it and quit. I’m not a quitter.

Juliana Marguelis says television is important because we look to it when we want to know what has happened. I look to it when I want to see people act out stories. Everyone is cheering for George Clooney because he made a lot of money and gave it to people who deserve it, which is nice.

Time goes on. We age, and seasons pass. Summer blends into winter and becomes spring, in that order.

This show is the worst show ever, this is like pre-schoolers picking National Merit Scholars. What happened. Do they realize it’s ten pm, and now ‘the cast of true blood’ has to compete with ‘True Blood’ and ‘the cast of Mad Men’ has to compete with Mad Men?

I think Jim (the one who married Pam) decided to pretend he couldn’t read, rather than read the line he was being fed.

As time went on, we found ourselves loosing interest in the program. We asked ourselves if perhaps the reason marijuana might be legalized in California this year is because it will encourage people to sit through programs like this one whereas they ordinarily might get up and do something else. But the only competition here is SANDWICH. And SANDWICH JUST WON Y’ALL! HAPPY SUNDAY!

UPDATE: Apparently after we left to go do arts & crafts because we’ve been working pretty much nonstop this weekend, other things happened. This included:

– Angela Chase won an award for something we didn’t see

– Mad Men won Best Drama, but everyone was watching Mad Men so they missed the big reveal, also I think it has a gay character.

– Modern Family won Best Comedy, it also has gay people in it, therefore gay people have won.

VIDEO: Julie Goldman & Brandy Infiltrate VH1, ‘Do Something’ With Jane Lynch

Remember when Julie Goldman & Jane Lynch totally obliviated previously unscaled mountains of awesome at the Vh1 2010 DO SOMETHING Awards with their fantastically co-written song “Do Something”? You should probs check it out right now. (more…)

Jane Lynch & Julie Goldman Duet at VH1 “DO Something Awards,” Bring World Peace

It was tough out there for a television viewer tonight, Monday July 19th. We had “The Client List,” a Lifetime Movie starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and featuring Phyllis from The L Word and Haviland Stillwell (from Broadway, your Teevee, and most importantly The Haviland & Riese Vlogs). We had, I believe, heroin-addicted twins of some sort on Intervention, I’m guessing.

But most importantly (though really, it’s a close call with seeing Haviland lead the housewives to ask the call girl for sex advice in a Lifetime movie) — yes, more important than the kid saving the massively-unemployed town of Wilmington Ohio which JUST SO HAPPENS to be the location of the nearest Wal-Mart, movie theater and Gold Star Chili to most of my family, or the girl who set up the School for Girls in Africa and like turned children into fairies or the kid that fed all the hungry children of the entire Western Hemisphere with just his own two hands and a box of Hamburger Helper — two of the 10 men & women honored in Autostraddle’s “People Who Can Do No Wrong” list performed a duet on stage together for a period of significant time, Jane Lynch and Julie Goldman.

Julie Goldman is connected to us through sister goddesses of lightness and togetherness/connection but also via Autostraddle.com’s webseries Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office, which is pretty awesome and also they wrote our favorite movie that hasn’t been made yet, The Nicest Thing. Jane Lynch is connected to us because we invented the term “The Lynch can do no wrong.” It’s true, no need to look it up, we have accomplished overall very little in the world, let us have these small things.

Julie Goldman & Jane Lynch perform together at the 2010 VH1 DO Something Awards. We’re going to change our motto to “Visibility Matters” since it’s not taken anymore, so that we can hold our hearts at moments like this and say “Look, it’s visibility! mattering!” I really hope this video works, we’ve had so many issues uploading ’cause Viacom is the evil empire. I hope it’s just up on VH1’s site tonight so we can swap that in.

Song file in case the video stops working: Julie-Goldman-Jane-Lynch

Also, to be extra-sure, a trasncript!

Jane Lynch: You might remember a little song I wrote that night with my little partner in musical crime, the Art Garfunkel to my Carly Simon — Julie Goldman!

[crowd cheers, Julie is like “it’s alright, no applause necessary”]

Jane Lynch: And if we remember correctly, it goes a little something like this:

Jane: I watch the news, it’s so depressing. I don’t like what I see.
So much greed and oppression, civil war and poverty
So you sit there and you WONDER what CAN ONE PERSON DOOOOO?
Well I’m just one in six billion —

Jane Lynch: Really Jules, when you think about it, the planet’s got six billion people, I’m one person, what do people expect??
Julie Goldman: Jane. You do too much.

Julie & Jane: Uh- 1 -2-3-4 you’ve got a choice you’ve got a voice you’re in a rut get off your butt and doooooooooooo something! You’ve got a choice you’ve got a voice you’re in a rut get off your butt!

Jane: Now volunteering don’t make you a weirdo
Julie Goldman: Well, it’s a little lame not to get paid for your work, don’t you think?
Jane: Well just ask nominees Lady Gaga or Alyssa Milano–
Julie Goldman: They dress good, they’re nice–

Jane: So if a prime time star like me can get up and sing —
Julie Goldman: [loud whisper] Jane Lynch!
Jane: Can get up and sing-
Jane & Julie: Then you little bastards you better do your thing!

Jane: Sing with me, you little bastards!
Both: 1-2-3 You’ve got a choice you’ve got a voice you’re in a rut get off your butt. You’ve got a choice, you’re in a rut, get off your butt. And do do do something. And dooooooooo somethhinggggggggggg.

Are they bros now? Can Jane Lynch be a lezbro or is she like in another universe? Probs both.

Jane Lynch Can Do No Wrong & Everybody Knows It, Including Emmys, Outfest, Madame Tussauds

THIS IS A JANE LYNCH POST:

Hi, do you know what Emmys are? I mostly don’t, but I do know that Jane Lynch was nominated for not one, but two of them! One for Glee, obvs, and also for a guest appearance she made on Two and A Half Men, which actually just sounds like a joke. Is that a real thing? Did she actually do that? Did you ever read about the time we watched Two and A Half Men? Why don’t you go do that and then come back, and you will see what I am talking about.

Speaking of TV shows we don’t watch, you better believe your eyes that The Lynch is gonna be on iCarly this week too, which sounds fun.

Anyways, today has been a good day on the Internet because today everyone on the internet has the same feelings we do about Jane Lynch, namely that she can Do No Wrong. For instance, she was given an Achievement Award at Outfest, L A’s Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, and while she was there her (gay!) director Paris Barclay was quoted as saying “The bitch is talented.” Yes. RT. (@ontopmag)

This is what The Lynch had to say in her speech:

I get asked for advice all the time. I don’t why anyone would think I know what I’m doing. My life and my career has been one accident after another. I have just gone headlong, balls-out, and fevered, never coming up for air, for a good bunch of years, and I don’t know that this is very good advice to give anyone. And I know there are a lot of aspiring actors and filmmakers out there, and perhaps they want me to give them words of wisdom or the keys to the kingdom or let them in on the big secret. So I will defer to Carol Brady, who in her infinite wisdom once said, “Find what it is you do best and do your best with it.”

Some lucky Californians and California-visitors got to check out Jane Lynch “In Conversation” at OutFest on Friday:

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Also, also, Jane Lynch/Sue Sylvester will be getting her own wax figure at the world-famous Madame Tussauds in NYC! On August 4th, she will join the distinguished ranks of people like Kim Kardashian and classy gentleman Mel Gibson, and have her likeness in wax preserved forever in a building for foreign tourists to take pictures of. Look, here’s a video about it! You’re welcome. Happy Jane Lynch Day! Insert your favorite Glee quote here! (@ontd)

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STACEYANN CHIN:

Do you know who Staceyann Chin is? If not, maybe you should. Right now she is doing a really awesome one-woman show called Border/Clash: A Litany of Desires, and if you like #feelings I think you would like it. And really, who here doesn’t like #feelings? (@timeslive)

SAMANTHA RONSON & LINDSAY LOHAN:

Samantha Ronson defends her love Lindsay Lohan against Joan Rivers:

CUTE RIGHT? This is what Joan said:

“Lindsay Lohan is so dumb. Her idea of being sworn in is cursing at the judge. Lindsay Lohan had ‘F*** you’ painted on her nails. What people don’t know is that the judge had ‘Eat me you party skank,’ painted on hers.

“I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.”

ANGELINA JOLIE:

I guess she got a tattoo on her thigh! (@jezebel)

STRAIGHT PEOPLE:

Sometimes they do cute things, yannow? Like the Manhattan borough president Scott Stringer, who will marry his (female) fiancee in Connecticut instead of his home of New York to protest the fact that gay marriage still isn’t legal there. (@advocate)

GAGA:

What’s better than finally learning the first four bars to John Lennon’s “Imagine” to impress people at parties? This picture of Lady Gaga playing on his famous white piano while hanging out at Yoko Ono’s house! For real it is pretty great! (@jezebel)

HIV:

A breakthrough in the study of antibodies that fight the HIV virus may have brought researchers a lot closer to finding a vaccine. (@advocate)

Photoplay: Lady Gaga Singin’ in the Rain, Ellen Page, Outfest, Glam Nation, NYC Pride!

It’s Friday and life is HARD! Time to share photographs that we probably aren’t legally allowed to share despite the redonk fees we pay to have access to said photographs, but who cares we’re lesbians and if we can’t get married or be in the army then THE LAW CAN’T TOUCH US. No taxation without representation! Have you read Julie Goldman & Brandy Howard’s review of The Kids are All Right yet? ‘Cause you should.

1. Lady Gaga on The Today Show – July 9th 2010

Lady Gaga performed on The Today Show today, in direct contradiction to our claim on Wednesday that The Today Show is for straight people. Hey speaking of, they decided to let same-sex couples enter their wedding contest (Gawker predicts Al Roker will now marry his goat) and look, Lady Gaga made it rain! Hopefully that’ll be the end of this heat wave. Bad Romance is secretly a rain dance.

Have you seen Gaga writhing in the rain? This is a good one:

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2. Inception starring Ellen Page

Ellen Page and Leonardo DiCaprio (who we liked a lot more back when he still looked like a girl) attended the Inception premiere in London, look how pretty Ellen Page is, yup she’s still pretty:

Also, here’s Ellen Page in a tux with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, from the LA Times’ blog article about the duo and the film, which they call “the most ambitious” Hollywood film of 2010:

3. Outfest Opening Night Gala/Howl Screening

July 8 2010 Los Angeles California

The 28th Annual Gay & Lesbian Film Festival OutFest is happening right now, as it is wont do to. It runs from July 8th-18th in Los Angeles, California.

The Opening Night Gala began with the premiere of Howl, “a hypnotic journey through the interwoven stories of Allen Ginsberg‘s personal quest for liberation, the historical court case against his poem and the power of Howl as a work of art,” starring James Franco who is/isn’t gay. You should read Howl.

OutFest Red Carpet Cuteness:

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Jane Lynch was awarded the Outfest 2010 Achievement Award, presented to Jane Lynch by Paris Barclay and Chris Colfer.

If you’re in Los Angeles, you can also look forward to special events hosted for the 25th Anniversary of Wolfe Releasing, including tonight’s screening of Jill Bennett & Cathy DeBuono’s We Have to Stop Now. Saturday night features a release party for the third issue of Original Plumbing by our friend Amos Mac. There’s also a lot of lesbian films this year, from Elena Undone (with the record for longest lesbian kiss evah) to Bloomington, The Four-Faced Liar, My Normal (Lesbian S&M! Huzzah!) and The Secret Diaries of Miss Ann Lister. This year’s featured documentaries include Bisexual Revolution and Le Tigre: On Tour.

4. Adam Lambert Glam Nation Tour

Adam Lambert’s Glam Nation Tour looks fucking awesome so far, for many reasons including but not limited to this one:

Adam Lambert hit up Nashville earlier this week:

5. Remember New York City Pride? Grace Chu Does.

Remember all the memories with Ambitious Socializer Grace Chu! Grace put together this adorable New York Scene Column for her new nonprofit MyAOLHometown webpage, AfterEllen.com (It’s not about Ellen or anything, just FYI). Grace column chronicles the ten bajillion parties that Grace attended during NYC Pride inlcuding The Rally, Kiki, Stonewall, Proposition Pride, the NYC Dyke March, Rapture on the River, Choice C*nts, GirlNation Pride, TruckStop NY, the Pride March, a Pride house party, Stiletto Pride and Rodeo Disco.

She partied all night and into the morning without turning into a serial killer, like we would’ve, but that being said, we went to so many fucking parties that week to flier that we can feel her pain deeply in the pits of our stomachs, as well as the lingering nausea from Truck Stop NYC. Because we are old. Because we are senior fucking citizens. We even went to Creme De La Femme.

Most importantly, please linger upon her memories of Autostraddle Rodeo Disco, which we’re 75% sure was her favorite party.

Margaret Cho Knows Lesbians are Funnier, Records “Camel Toe” with Ani

We have so much to catch up on since the Internet beat us to death on Saturday, Sunday and Monday! Here we go…

MARGARET CHO:

Margaret Cho says lesbians make better comedians. This is true.

What has the stand-up comedy world been like for women, in your experience?

I think the comedy community is not supportive to women in comedy. It’s just not a supportive environment. It’s interesting; a lot of women who are successful in comedy are lesbians. Or they have a fluid kind of gender identity, like I do. I am very fluid in that capacity. [Cho has had relationships with both men and women. She is currently married to a man.] But you can’t really be a successful female comic if you give a s**t what guys think at all. So a lot of heterosexual women end up dropping out because they just care too much about what guys think. I think that’s why there’s always lesbians who take over because they don’t care. It’s just an element to their personalities that helps them get by. That’s the closet explanation I can see. The women comedians that are out there generally are gay. The community itself is not supportive to women, and so you don’t have it on the inside and you don’t have any kind of building or a connection. It’s just hard.

Do you think there are some topics women can make funny in a way that men can’t?

I think that’s everything. I generally prefer female comics anyway. I think that women are just better at it in general because we have to be better at it to survive and to be taken seriously. You have to be so good to get noticed as a female comic, so the quality of the art, what they’re doing, is just better.

We couldn’t possibly agree more! I wanted to add that black comedians are also funnier than other people (for example my favorite comedians are Chris Rock & Julie Goldman), but Alex Vega told me I wasn’t allowed to say that. Alex Vega thinks thinks Margaret Cho can say what she wants about lesbians because she’s bisexual, but I can’t say what I want about black comedians because I’m not black, to which I pointed out that I have a black half-brother (this is true) (Alex Vega doesn’t think that really matters, is probs right), and then Crystal said she just learned from reading about the Miley Cyrus/Perez Hilton debacle that “if you stick the word ‘allegedly’ in your article at least ten times you are not accountable for anything.” So I would just like to add that I personally feel that in addition to lesbians being funnier, black comedians are allegedly also funnier than other people. ALLEGEDLY. According to my personal opinion.

Anyhoosers, why are these groups of people allegedly funnier than other people? Well, in his book about TEH GOLDEN AGE OF COMEDY, someone named Nachman said this about Jewish comedians (I’m Jewish so I can say whatevs I want on this, bitches!):

… the link between Jews and comedy has been pondered as often as the meaning of life itself, but Nachman has a pet theory as to why so many great comics have been Jewish. “They’re funnier,” he says. Beyond that, Nachman adds, “it has to do with ‘outsiderness,’ being the observer. There’s a critical nature Jews have, and you have to have that to be a comedian. But I don’t know where funniness comes from.”

So that applies here as well. Otherness.

Furthermore, Margaret Cho has recorded a musical album with just about everyone who makes us cream in our pants, and speaking of our pants, she actually recorded a song called “Camel Toe” with Ani DiFranco. Doesn’t that sound like a dream you had last night? “OMG, last night I dreamed that Margaret Cho and Ani DiFranco recorded a song together about camel toe, isn’t that so weird?” So weird, yes, but also REAL LIFE!

Tell me about Cho Dependent, the album of songs that you recorded.

My album is a comedy album, a bunch of collaborations with different musicians that I’m fond of. It’s people like Ani DiFranco, Tegan and Sarah [sic], Andrew Bird, Jon Brion, Grant Lee Phillips and Fiona Apple. So it’s comedy songs. I think most musicians want to be comedians and most comedians want to be musicians, so it’s a good exchange.

JANE LYNCH:

Lesbian Jane Lynch and some other funny ladies, including Lesbian Wanda Sykes, gathered to discuss important topics. Take a gander.

PEREZ HILTON:

If an adult were to send out an up-skirt photo of a 17-year old girl to over 2 million people, should said adult be charged for child porn? What about if that adult is Perez Hilton and the 17-year-old girl is Miley Cyrus and it all went down on twitter? Perez allegedly tweeted a link to an image that allegedly showed Miley climbing out of a vehicle that was allegedly a car with allegedly no underwear on, and even though now the alleged image has allegedly been removed, if this is all for real and not just an allegation, then Perez could maybe be facing up to 15 years in prison because Miley’s a minor, and so it is legally considered child pornography. Somebody get on that. (@salon)

THE TONY AWARDS:

Sunday night’s Tony Awards, hosted by Sean Hayes, was super gay as per ushe, but also this year it was super Hollywood, as Hollywood people won for every category in which they were nominated. This included Catherine Zeta-Jones for “A Little Night Music,” and Denzel Washington and Viola Davis for best actor/actress in Best Play Revival “Fences” (by August Wilson). Scarlett Johansson won for best featured actress in a play for her Broadway debut in Arthur Miller’s “View from a Bridge.” Best Musical went to “Memphis,” and British Production “Red” took best play, as well as five other Tonys. Also, it was the first time in Tony history that black performers won best actor and best actress in a play for the same theater season. Holler.

In a nod to the the Homophobic Newsweek Article we obsessed over for many many weeks, host Sean Hayes and Promises Promises co-star Krisitin Chenoweth opened the awards show with Kristin offering Sean good luck and then exchanging what The New York Times described as “a long, open-mouthed kiss.”

Here’s the opening number, which ends with Green Day’s American Idiot:

Lea Michelle and Matt Morrison performing:

LADY GAGA:

The Illuminati has spoken! Lady Gaga’s Alejandro video, as analyzed by the expert on occult mind control and the only Lady Gaga expert better than our own.

KATY PERRY:

Katy Perry denies slamming Lady Gaga:

“Lately, I’ve just been seeing some things that are kind of… not something I would do, I guess,” Perry — who grew up with strict religious parents, both ministers — explained during an interview with a French radio station Sunday.

“Like, you know when Madonna was on the cross? And, like, sometimes my boyfriend will say things that are ehhh…” she said, referring to fiance Russell Brand. “From where I come from, it’s hard for me to say that….”

THE REAL L WORDS:

Ilene Chaiken is back where she likes to be, on stages in front of lots of lesbians! There are also large posters of the cast of The Real L Word. This is really exciting, I can’t wait.

ELLEN DEGENERES:

Ellen DeGeneres is writing her third book! (@nytimes)

Glee Finale: Glee Drinking Game & Season Recap – Watch “Episode 122: Journey” With Us

Do you know what tonight is? It’s the Glee season finale, obvs. You know that because you read the title of this post. Are you ready?! You better get ready. And of course, Autostraddle is here to help you out with that, we’ve got our shot glasses lined up and our brows furrowed, ready for the big game. Here’s the preview for Glee Episode 1.22, “Journey”:

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We made a Glee Drinking Game so you can have double the fun during tonight’s episode. (We also wrote a Glee Drinking Game for the series premiere, too, so you’re probs still drunk from that.)

And we also have a roundup of everything that’s happened since the mid-season hiatus. So even if you’ve never seen Glee before in your life, you can read that (and also maybe this) and you’ll be all set! And of course, the comments can serve as an open-thread during the show tonight. You guys know the drill.
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Glee Drinking Game: The Finale Edition

(rules by Riese, Alex, & Sarah — you can thank us later)

Drink if:

+ Someone threatens to take something from the Glee club including but not limited to a rehearsal room, funding, or transportation. Two drinks if that something is a person’s actual self (e.g., someone threatens to quit Glee or get rid of Mr. Schuster.)

+ Sue announces her plans to sabotage something. Another drink if she immediately walks away, leaves the room, or smirks to herself after said announcement.

+ Will tries to rap or perform any aspect of a hip-hop song which exemplifies his inability to properly do so.

+ Either Rachel or Mercedes has a solo.

+ Any of the following characters says an actual line: Mike Chang, Matt Rutherford

+ Brittany and Santana have a “moment” involving physical contact or make a reference to their sexual relationship.

+ Finn & Rachel sing while walking in circles around each other.

+ Rachel wears a blouse/sweater buttoned all the way to the top.

+ Quinn goes into labor/has a baby.

+ Brittany delivers a deadpan perfect one-liner.

+ Emma & Will or Rachel & Finn kiss (with tongue) or make out.

+ Quinn has a baby and names it “Sue Sylvester” after Susan Boyle & Sylvester the cat.

+ Anyone has sex.

+ Kurt meets another OPENLY homosexual man his age.

+ Waterfall if New Directions wins sectionals!

Here’s what Hulu has to offer us in preparation for the big finale tonight:
A behind-the-scenes look at shooting the finale. Everyone in the video seems super fatalistic and sad, and I’m not really sure why because they’re coming back, right? I mean the second season will happen and the world’s not slated to end until 2012. I guess they’re just drama queens!

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A preview of Rachel and Finn singing Faithfully:

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Glee Recap:
Everything That Happened Before Tonight Happened

by Liz ofPancakes & Valium

As any Chuck, Pushing Daisies, or Dead Like Me fan can tell you, it’s hard out there for a quirky show full of weirdos. Yet Glee has found its audience and keeps holdin’ on, despite the fact that it’s chock-full of weirdos and brimming over with showtunes. You’re probs already a fan, but in case you’re not — or in case you need a refresher before the big finale — we’ve got you covered with this crash course on Glee since the mid-season break.

Will Schuester (Matthew Morrison) is the hapless protagonist who can’t ever seem to do the right thing, like pick the right girl to marry. When the show began Will was still married to a self-centered pregnancy-faking bitch, Terri (Jessalyn Gillsing). Since the show’s 2010 return, Terri and Will have gotten divorced and Will has not deflowered the woman he loves, Emma Pillsbury (Jayma Mayes). However he has snuggled with Amber Rhoades (Kristin Chenoweth), and played tonsil hockey with Vocal Adrenaline coach Shelby Corcoran (Idina Menzel). Will is really supposed to be the rock of this show, yet he plays dirty almost as often as Sue does — which is to say, a lot. You’re really supposed to root for Will, and before the hiatus, I did. But since the reurn, he’s been a bit whiny. And the serenade to Sue in the last episode was almost unforgivable, the duets he did with his high school rival, Bryan Ryan (guest star Neil Patrick Harris), were awesome.

Then there’s Finn (Corey Monteith), who’s constantly struggling to prove himself as more than just another lumbering meathead without alienating the football team. After his pre-hiatus messy break up with Cheerio Quinn Fabray (Dianna Agron), he soon had Rachel Berry (Lea Michele) on his arm. But kitten relationship calendars and matching sweaters seemed a bit restricting, so he broke it off with Rachel in favor of the saucy, bi-curious stylings of Brittany and Santana (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera).

fuckyeahbrittany-santana.tumblr.com

Obvs the girls are way more into french fries, gossip and sexual innuendo than they’re into Finn, cutting this potential Bisexual Threesome Fling short.

But okay. Let’s pause and talk about these two. Right before the break we were left with a tiny bit of dialogue from Brittany that sent shockwaves through the lesbian Glee following: “Sex isn’t dating. If it were, Santana and I would be dating.”

Squwhaaaat!?! But also unlike most random lesbian sweeps relationships, this one had that “no duh” effect — it makes perfect sense. Now we pay way more attention to them, which is good, ’cause Brittany is hilariously, but limitingly, written to be about as deep as a parking lot puddle after a fundraising car wash. Meaning, she’s dumb. She’s really, really dumb: “Sometimes I forget my middle name.”

“They aren’t gay, they’re in high school. Sleeping around a bit is normal, and banging your BFF is NBD.”

So, we don’t really have a gay girl storyline on Glee. But, with three main characters being virgins until recently/still being virgins (Finn, Rachel, and Emma), I personally think its good to have Santana and Brittany balancing the scales. They aren’t gay, they’re in high school. Sleeping around a bit is normal, and banging your BFF is awesome NBD.

Back to Finn! He decided to win Rachel back, but was sidetracked by some mama drama when his single mom started canoodling with Kurt’s (Chris Colfer) single dad. Finn is conflicted: he loves having a father figure to do “manly” things with — talking football, scratch, belching the alphabet, the usual.

But when the ‘rents decide to shack up, Finn starts to struggle. His whole world is changing! What does the only son of a single Mom do when he’s lost his status as man of the family and his new stepbrother/roommate has a big crush on him? Well, hopefully he’ll take Mr. Hummel’s speech about the dangers of the word “faggy” to heart, work out his problems, and look cute doing it.

Sidenote, how great was Mr.Hummel this season? The dialogue itself may not have been groundbreaking, but the fact that a straight parent said things like that aforementioned speech IS pretty kickass. Besides, why does something have to be new to be relevant and important? Maybe we’ve heard it before, but we haven’t heard it a LOT.

Then there’s Rachel Berry (Broadway’s Lea Michele). She’s has had a LOT going on the last few weeks. So many feelings! The boy she pined after for 13 episodes turns out to be more dud than stud. She almost, but didn’t, cash in her V card. She’s had the whole team turn on her for dating Jesse St. James (Vocal Adrenaline’s main man, played by Jonathon Groff), then turned on her team by secretly dating him anyway. And then, Jesse changed schools and teams to be with Rachel. We all assumed Jesse was a mole for the purposes of sabotage, but it turned out his purposes were (slightly) more honorable: he’d been sent to expose Shelby (his coach, played by Idina Menzel), as Rachel’s biological mom. Which, sidenote, is awesome casting. How do these two actors not play mother/daughter in everything ever?

Rachel and Shelby had some issues deciding how the cookie crumbs were gonna to settle w/r/t that insaneness, and handled it true to character — by singing it out. I Dreamed a Dream, you guys! (Let’s pretend the awk Poker Face duet didn’t happen/Idina never sang “bluffin’ with my muffin.”) It was actually kind of touching, even if annoying to me as an adoptive/gay mom. Anyway, it seems like they’ve found a sorta happy medium. Shelby isn’t going to pretend to be Rachel’s mom, and Rachel’s happy to know her biological roots can carry a tune.

While nothing may ever top the Single Ladies football escapade, Kurt has been super homoFABulous this second half of the season.

Can we all agree that Chris Colfer is great? There’s nothing to complain about with this guy: the voice is believable, his raised eyebrow is adorable, and he pulls off one-liners like, “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You look like a technicolor zebra.”

Since the show’s return, we’ve watched him continue to struggle with coming out and finding his “voice” in the world. Kurt shone very brightly in Laryngitis, when, intimidated by his father’s relationship with Finn, Kurt traded glitter eyeshadow and showtunes for flannel and Mellencamp to get his father’s love back. And we loved it because not once did Kurt’s Dad say to him, “I need you to change.” Kurt’s solo to “Rose’s Turn” and the ensuing heart-to-heart with Dad was one of the season’s highlights, and like the rest of Kurt’s storyline it felt like a struggle I can relate to. It feels organic. And it’s unexpected — earlier in the season Kurt said that his Dad bought him a car in exchange for Kurt’s agreement to stop wearing “long sweaters.” It wasn’t a “risky” choice by the writers, but it was a great choice nonetheless.

All right, that covers a lot of the character development. Let’s talk about those themed episodes!

Glee Theme Weeks

Madonna! GAGA! Ah!

When news first hit that Glee was planning an all-Madonna episode, the entire fandom reacted with a girl squeal. Lady Gaga was the cherry on top of that; we all totally lost our shit.

Not gonna lie, the Madonna episode was a big let down for me. The musical numbers were, as always, awesome. But the story was forced. It made no sense. The entire show was built around the music, not the other way around.

That was a real bummer, ’cause the show’s writing has improved a lot since the break. “Theatricality,” the Lady Gaga episode, fared much better. Whereas “Power of Madonna” relied too heavily on flash and forewent actual content, “Theatricality” eschewed excessive flashiness in favor of actually progressing the storyline (though it could’ve used a bit more ukelele). Furthermore, Theatricality’s message were definitely Gaga-shaped feelings: both Finn’s statement “we’re all freaks together, and we shouldn’t have to hide it” and Kurt’s assertion that he’s “proud to be different, it’s the best thing about [him].”

Both episodes featured great costumes: Sue in a cone bra, Rachel’s costume of stapled-on stuffed animals, the girls’ satin bodices, Jenna’s plastic bubble dress, Kurt’s fake McQueen shoes…

In summary, the second half of the Glee season featured its share of repetitive storylines but hell, at least they weren’t about fake pregnancies. The standout “message” of the Back Nine has been “be comfortable with yourself.” In every episode someone is attacked for self-expression and the team re-learns the same lesson of self-acceptance. Artie copes with knowing he’ll never walk/dance again, Rachel realizes she’s more than just her voice, Quinn’s pregnancy inspires her to reform her former Queen Bee behavior and Mercedes refuses to buy into Sue’s body-hating messages and learns she is beautiful just the way she is.

Whereas normally I’d be annoyed by a simple message shoved down my throat 50 ways, it’s a message that can be hard to learn in high school. So I accept it!

Most recently, the show has focused on the competition heating up between New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline in preparation for the big showdown at sectionals tonight in the finale episode. The battle lines have been drawn and the drama has been amped up now that Rachel’s ex and her Mom are on the other team. Also, her Mom is Elpheba from Wicked, which is scary, ’cause that bitch can fly.

Last week’s episode was a bit of a letdown, so we’re hoping tonight makes up for it. Have you been watching? Will you tonight? ‘Cause you should, even if this is your first episode. Share your feelings with us as they happen in the comments!

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Buy: Glee: The Music, Volume 3 Showstoppers (Deluxe) or Glee: The Music, Volume 3 Showstoppers (Regular) on Audio CD or Glee: The Music, Volume 3 Showstoppers (Deluxe) or Glee: The Music, Volume 3 Showstoppers (Regular) as an mp3 download.

Jane Lynch Marries Partner Lara Embry, Loves Seafood

THE LYNCH CAN DO NO WRONG:

Jane Lynch in perhaps the epitome of doing no wrong, married her partner Lara Embry on Memorial Day in Massachusetts.  The celebration was very small, with 19 guests including Lara’s daughter and close friends of the couple.

In case you have a dying need to know what food is served at lesbian weddings:

“Hors d’oeuvres included oysters, lobster triangles, Japanese crab salad, seared scallop with apple reduction and artichoke fritters with lemon aioli. For the main course: beet salad, striped bass with lemon buerre blanc, truffle mushroom salad, pan-seared breast of duck with duck confit, and herb salad.”

Don’t ask how that information was released to the press.

The Lynch met Lara at a fundraiser in San Francisco a year ago and the duo have been together ever since. Lara is a mom to an 8 year-old daughter, which came as a surprise to The Lynch who never anticipated being a step-mom:

“I’m almost 50, and I thought that possibility was behind me, so this a real delight,” Ms. Lynch said, adding that she never went through the whole biological-clock experience. “I never even heard it ticking.”

Also, in a bit of Lynch trivia: unlike many lesbians who move in together after three months, The Lynch had never lived with a woman (at least as of 2008 when she said it in a video blog). That counts for something, right? She told People earlier this year, “It’s just the greatest thrill in the world to find somebody that you want to be with every day.” (@nytimes)

RUE MCCLANAHAN:

Rue McClanahan died this morning at the age of 76 after suffering a massive stroke. This makes Betty White the last living Golden Girl, in addition to being a person who can do no wrong. Bea Arthur died last year of cancer and Estelle Getty died in 2008.

KRISTEN STEWART / JODIE FOSTER:

Remember when Kristen Stewart played Jodie Foster’s daughter in Panic Room? I know, she looked like a little boy. Anyway, they’re still in touch and Jodie’s been giving Kristen lessons on “how not to go crazy” in Hollywood. “And [how to] be a young actor who wants to have a long career. She doesn’t need any help. She’s on the right track. She’s a good girl. And I love that kid. I spent so much time with her.” (@people)

KELLY CLARKSON:

Probs testing out material for Lilith Fair this summer, Kelly Clarkson surprised fans at a Chris Daughtry show in Nashville for a cover of Tracy Chapman‘s “Fast Car.”

THE REAL L WORD:

The cast of The Real L Word do the NOH8 Campaign. From left to right: Whitney, Rose, Jill, Nikki, Mikey, Tracy. Such fancy jeans! Are we ready for this shit to premiere on June 20?

GLEE:

Jane Lynch & Matthew Morrison (Mr. Shu) showed up (in costume!) at one of the Radio City Music Hall shows this weekend and it was pretty much Beatlemania.

Also, check out Chris Colfer (Kurt)’s appearance on The View in which he talks about being bullied “every day” in school.

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PINK / ADAM LAMBERT:

Pink finally bit the bullet and performed “Whataya Want From Me” – the song she discarded from her latest CD that went on to become a huge hit for Adam Lambert.

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THEATRE:

A new book, Theatre Geek, explores the world of Stagedoor Manor, the real life theatre camp attended by Lea Michele, Drew Barrymore, Natalie Portman and Mandy Moore (among many others). The camp was fictionalized in the super-gay movie CAMP and immortalized in the documentary Stagedoor, but this book will apparently tell tales of the real shit that went down. (@wallstreetjournal)

LESBIAN COUNTRY ROCKER:

Ya’ll wanted a lesbian country rock star… and you’ve got one! If you like Melissa Etheridge and Sheryl Crow, you’ll love Jennifer Corday, our latest Autostraddle interview. We talk to her about being out in country music, why lesbians love girls with guitars and more! (@autostraddle)

GAGA:

In case you missed it, the full Gaga/Larry King interview. I just noticed Gaga is wearing the same exact outfit as Larry, is this old news? (@towleroad) Also, Salon interviews a doctoral student and a poet & performer to discuss why Gaga is not only entertainment, but worth studying.

“I think Britney Spears was the last pop star, not Gaga. If anything, Spears’ highly publicized descent represented the final fall into the void, a victim of the system. Britney and her shaved head wielding an umbrella at the paparazzi became a “monster”– Gaga, on the other hand, is the pop star resurrected as a meta-pop star.”

(@salon)

Top Ten People Who Can Do No Wrong, Like Jane Lynch

It takes a lot for a person to do no wrong. The editors of this magazine have knocked our heads together to figure out what this means exactly and decided that the definition of a person who “does no wrong” is as follows:

If you make a claim such as “Jane Lynch can do no wrong,” no reasonable human being would disagree with you or dissent from your unequivocal opinion. Anyone who disagrees with the statement “Jane Lynch can do no wrong” is an asshole. However, if one desired, one could make a case that other heroes of ours, such as Adam Lambert or Lady Gaga, occasionally are able to do wrong. If someone doesn’t like Lady Gaga, you would not write him or her or ze off. You would still perhaps even have a second date with them (Riese has, however, refused a second date because said date did not like Grey Gardens), or marry this person and have their children, or let them be your children’s earth mothers.

We have assembled a list of humans who do no wrong. If you disagree with us, you’re an asshole.

1. Jane Lynch: The Queen of Doing No Wrong

Jane Lynch is the model by which all others could attempt to do no wrong. Describing why Jane Lynch does no wrong is irrelevant because Jane Lynch = Doing No Wrong.

2. Neil Patrick Harris

He sings & dances. We all had a crush on him as Doogie Howser, and we all have a crush on him now that he likes boys and we like girls. Also, we’re not entirely convinced that NPH himself was not a boy genius like Doogie Howser. He navigated his way from child star to adult star without any crashing or burning, and now everyone embraces his homogayness.

3. Tegan & Sara

This particular inclusion may be up for debate. There are some lesbians who believe Tegan & Sara can do wrong, which is usually a result of said lesbians not understanding why all the other lesbians are so f*cking obsessed with Tegan & Sara. But outside of that niche community, you can’t find anyone who could look into their adorable faces, listen to them sing their nice lyrics, and dare to suggest they’ve done wrong.

4. Ira Glass

Ira Glass, host of “This American Life” on NPR, is a glorious human being. People who don’t like “This American Life” are the problem with America. He’s also adorably humble in his pledge drives, super-cute about being shy on the teevee, and gets so so so so into his interviews, he laughs a lot during them.

5. Betty White

Betty White makes you feel safe and loved, and just when you think she’s going to hand you a plate of cookies, she says a bunch of dirty words in a row. Also according to some expert sources, she was a smokin’ hot young lady. Also after Saturday Night Live, she stayed out with the cast ’til 3am. Holler!

6. Ellen & Portia

In addition to both of them being gorgeous and Ellen making cute jokes about Portia on her show, they’re totally philanthropists and make lesbians look very appealing, even to close-minded people in red states. No wrong can be done here. Unless they break up, in which case we might as well all just slit our wrists.

7. Julie Goldman

We have been aware of Julie Goldman’s ability to do no wrong since 2008, when we first saw her do stand-up on an R-Family cruise and wet our pants and had to buy new pants and order laundry service. The fact that Julie Goldman is now doing a fantastic web-series with Brandy Howard on Autostraddle.com is not the reason she is included here. It is simply further evidence of her ability to do no wrong.

8. Jennifer Beals

In addition to playing Bette Porter, Jennifer Beals can give birth without drugs, runs triathlons for funsies, never travels without her magical holistic balancing tea, meditates regularly, and fixed her Epstein Barr disease by cutting out sugar, wheat and caffeine, and she is teaching her daughter “eco-friendly” living. In fact she recycles SO MUCH that she worries her neighbors must think they never “keep anything.”

She’s also v. hot, supportive of the gays, and doesn’t watch the teevee, even when she’s on it.

9. Rachel Maddow:

With Rachel Maddow, it’s all in the delivery. “I understand the political desire to blame the questioner and not the answerer when the answers prove upsetting, but if you‘re going to try to make me the story, if you‘re more interested in talking about me rather than your own candidate, then maybe you should be willing to talk to me yourself instead of just talking about me.” Damn, girl.

10. Most Likely to Do No Wrong: Janelle Monae

We cannot be completely confident that Janelle will continue to effortlessly do no wrong. But so far we like what we see. We feel she will peak soon and then we’ll find out. If it turns out that she’s bi or lesbian but won’t come out, we are fine with that as long as she continues answering sexual-orientation questions with statements like, “I’m actually attracted to androids.”