How Many Times Does Shay Mitchell Have to Say She’s Bisexual???

Photo of Shay Mitchell, who recently did a bisexual TikTok meme,  by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Harper’s BAZAAR

Okay I’m going to let you in on a little secret: When a person plays gay three or more times, our TV team puts them onto a little mental watchlist called GAYBE? Because with the exception of, like, Lucy Lawless, basically everyone who has played gay three or more times eventually comes out as gay. It’s not a science, but it’s also not just a hunch. And so of course Shay Mitchell — known to you as Emily Fields of Pretty Little Liars, Peach Salinger of Hashtag You on Lifetime, and Stella Cole of Dollface; ALL GAY! — is a person who would be on that list. IF SHE HADN’T ALREADY SAID SHE’S NOT STRAIGHT A THOUSAND TIMES.

Which I am bringing up this very morning because of a TikTok which shows Shay falling gracefully onto her very own green velvet couch stitched together with someone saying “Green velvet couches are for bisexuals.” (Our evidence shows green velvet couches are for ALL gays, but we’re not here to quibble with that.)

Peep it for your own self!

@shaymitchell #duet with @keepitspooky #Stitch ♬ original sound – Kayla :)

This whole thing started back in 2016 when Shay Mitchell told Cosmopolitan that she was dating a man at the moment, but who’s to say who’d she be dating in three years, could be a woman, who knows, she had no plans to cut herself off from love in any direction. Then, in 2017, she told Maxim, “I fall in love with the spirit of somebody. Love is love.” Then, last year, she made gingerbread cookies with PLL costar Ian Harding and when he asked when she was last attracted to a woman, she said, “Wow, every day??” and reiterated that she was never looking for a boyfriend or a husband or whatever; she was looking for a person who fit the qualities she wanted in a partner.

THESE ARE NOT THE WORDS OF A STRAIGHT PERSON!

It is baffling to me why no one believes her! And I know they don’t because every time she says what she already said, people are like “OMG is she coming out?” NO. SHE ALREADY CAME OUT! Is it because she’s so femme? Or because she’s never been in a public relationship with another woman? (Kind of up for debate tbh.) The only acceptable answer here is that you saw what happened any time literally anyone fell for Emily Fields (kidnapped, buried alive, stabbed by fake cousin, kidnapped and duct taped inside a closet, stalked, re-stalked, teeth necklace, kidnapped and drugged up inside a psychiatric hospital, impregnated with stolen ovarian eggs, etc.) and you’re scared of it happening to you to if you acknowledge your feelings for Shay Mitchell who has Emily Fields’ face as her own face.

Also, for your information, she’s in the new Mindy Kaling-helmed Velma series and the rumor on the fandom streets is Shay is playing Velma’s love interest. Which honestly means she’s… never played a straight character?

So. Let’s celebrate Shay Mitchell continuing to be queer on this beautiful autumn day.

Shay Mitchell Lives Her Best Queer Life In “Dollface” Season 2

Mild Dollface gay spoilers below! 

Until I started Dollface, it had been a while since I felt I’ve been able to see my own life and friendships reflected in a comedy show I thoroughly and genuinely enjoyed. (I see myself in sci-fi all the time but let’s face it, being cursed to hunt revenants isn’t what my life looks like; even when I do see myself and my relationships reflected in characters.)

Growing up, I was younger than the target demographic for Friends, How I Met Your Mother, and Happy Endings. I thoroughly and genuinely enjoy shows like Yellowjackets, but I’m a far cry from my teenage years. Shows like Pivoting and Workin’ Moms are about adult friend groups but their lives don’t look like mine, mostly because of all the children involved. And shows like The Bold Type and Good Trouble are about young adults entering the workforce for the first time, which I’m past. But this season I’ve noticed a trend of shows about people in their late 20s/early 30s, already set in their jobs or realizing they have to change fields, still looking for love and figuring things out, that just happen to line up for me as someone in her 30s still figuring things out; we’re not as sloppy as we were in our 20s but that doesn’t mean chaos doesn’t break out from time to time. Our problems are a little more mature, and so are we…mostly. Recent shows include but are not limited to, How I Met Your Father, Grand Crew, and, the show we’re here to talk about today, Dollface.

I am ashamed to say I was very late to Dollface. As in, I didn’t watch Season 1 until two weeks before Season 2 came out and I was being bullied by Hulu into giving it chance. In Hulu’s defense, they were right. I love Kat Dennings, Shay Mitchell, and Brenda Song. I love shows about friendship. I love to laugh. I don’t have a good reason why I put it off for so long but I watched the first season in one sitting on a Saturday, and did the exact same thing when Season 2 came out. The show is funny and clever, plus it’s both different from other shows on TV while also feeling familiar. It has a fantasy element to it but only as a way to let us into the inner workings of Jules’ mind and subconscious, and as someone with a rich and colorful imagination, I can relate to that, too.

The fairytale-themed episode felt especially like a gift. (Also, the Wizard-of-Oz themed episode in Season 1.)

Season 1 follows Jules in her quest to re-learn how to have female best friends after years in a relationship with a man who she made the center of her universe. She had lost touch with Stella (Shay Mitchell) and Madison (Brenda Song) and while they rekindle their relationships, they adopt a newbie into the group, Izzy (Esther Povitsky), all while trying to navigate dating, work drama, and just…life. It’s funny and heartfelt and just a blast to watch.

The casual hangs were my favorite. Not only because of Stella’s casualwear outfits but those did not hurt.

I was nervous about Season 2; they had a lot to live up to, in my humble opinion. But they managed to keep the same vibe, the same humor and heart…plus, they made it gayer. Which is always a win in my book.

Spoilers for Season 2 incoming!

Season 2 begins in Summer 2021, breezing over the pandemic, lightly acknowledging it happened, optimistically pretending like it’s over even though sadly by the time this aired it was February 2022 and still going strong. Shay Mitchell’s Stella is trying her hardest to be a badass business bitch, but putting boring men in grey suits in their place is exhausting, so she storms to a bar and meets Liv, played by Lilly Singh, who is amused by her energy and lets her serve herself.

They hit it off immediately, the chemistry palpable. I don’t want to have the “should queer people play queer people” debate because I think it’s more complicated than the definite “trans people should play trans characters” rule I think should be carved into the Hollywood sign because so many “straight” actors who played queer ended up coming out after they were allowed that safe space to explore and think about that BUT ANYWAY like I said that’s a conversation for another day. I WILL say that when this particular queer Filipina actress and queer Indian actress play queer characters who are flirting with each other…it felt good. A win for queers the world over.

Cheers to queers

When Stella’s friends join her at the bar and eviscerate a man who tells them to smile, and then Izzy starts taking over the TV and they relish in having a bar all to themselves and not have to deal with men shouting about sports. Stella gets a brilliant business idea, and wants to work with Liv to turn the bar into a bar tailored for women. Now, of course this leans into some stereotypes that are a little eye-rolly, like how women hate sports and love The Bachelor, but if you think about it more like Stella wanted to open a bar that caters to her and her friends and then anyone else who would like that too, it’s a little easier to swallow. It’s not like they end up policing people about gender at the door, and the bar is called the Gi Spot after Lilly’s last name and everyone has a g-spot; plus, it’s not like they’re policing gender at the door. I personally wouldn’t hang out there but I also wouldn’t hang out in a sports bar while sports were on so to each their own.

Over the course of the season, Stella and Liv get closer as they work on the bar, smashing walls then smashing…well, each other.

You can blame that bad joke on the TikTok “smash or pass” trend.

Later, when she’s hanging out with her friends, Stella tries to find a natural way to bring it up, first talking about a potential client of Madison’s (Lotus Dragon Bebe, played by Poppy Liu, who played queer on the iCarly reboot and is queer and non-binary IRL) saying that they, as Asian women, should be embracing their own sexuality. When that segue doesn’t work, she tells them about her progress at the bar, mentioning sleeping with Liv between other tasks. When Jules gets too excited, Madison looks confused, and Izzy awkwardly says she’s capital P Proud, Stella says one of my favorite lines of the season, “Award for best performance by a supportive straight group of friends goes to….”

Stella and Liv’s journey continues through the season, having some moments that are more light and fun like Stella thinking she needs more toppy energy and buying a giant strap-on before realizing she’s actually a power bottom. It’s cute and fun and I think there’s something so special about the fact that Shay Mitchell, specifically, is playing this role. Somewhere around this point in the season I thought…Emily Fields swam so Stella Cole could fly.

We earned this, as a community. We DESERVE it.

Eventually Stella starts spending more time with Liv, and Liv’s son (who is named Bruno which is how I know this show wrapped filming before Encanto came out), and when that starts going well, they decide to be official girlfriends. Eventually they do run into some drama, because Stella had to watch her mother date men that came and went from her life and she’s worried about doing that to Bruno; and she likes Liv, but she’s not sure if she’s ready to have a kid, even though she did skip the Molly at a music festival so she wouldn’t be hungover when hanging out with Liv and Bruno the next day.

I’m not usually someone who notices fashion but literally everything Stella Cole wore was jaw-dropping.

She pushes Liv away, until she realizes she has a pattern of blazing hot and fast and moving on instead of relishing in a slow burn. She tells Liv that she’s decided that one way she can avoid hurting Bruno is to decide to break that pattern. Stella chooses Liv. But Liv got spooked; she doesn’t want to be a hard decision, a challenge to overcome. So Liv doesn’t choose Stella back.

But they are still going to be partners in the bar, so if we are blessed with a third season of this brilliance, I have a feeling we’ll see more of these two.

I don’t know if it’s because this show has so many Canadians or what, but there are so many actors in it who are either queer in real life and/or have played queer before. Including but not limited to Michaela Conlin who played bisexual scientist Angela Montenegro on Bones and lesbian comedian Julie Goldman. The actress who plays Izzy also played queer(ish) in iCarly, and even Liv’s gay baby daddy Lucas is played by gay actor Colton Haynes. (Actually another one of my favorite lines of Stella’s is when she tells Madison Liv and Lucas made Bruno in a “maybe we’re bi” moment in college and Madison says maybe she needs one of those, Stella says, “No, you are deeply straight. I do not mean that as a compliment.”) There are also random queers scattered throughout the show, like Owen Thiele’s Q and a travel agent who tells Madison she once had a two-year “one night stand” with a woman named Soledad. It’s all just so…good!

Also don’t even get me started on the acting. Brenda Song is amazing but we’ve known this since Suite Life. Kat Dennings has impeccable timing always (during one particularly chaotic moment she just chimed in with, “Did you know you can just buy a broadsword on Amazon?” and I cannot explain to you why that simple line broke me but I had to pause the show because I was cry-laughing.) The way the four of them interact in different combinations just feels so natural and familiar to how I relate to my own friend groups (even though my friend groups have a cap at one token straight person instead of the reverse) in a way I don’t see on TV a lot. The show isn’t just about four friends navigating their jobs and relationships, it’s about four friends with jobs and relationships navigating their friendships, and I find that subtle shift really compelling.

And can we talk about Shay Mitchell?? Now, listen, I was an Emily Fields superfan and I once waited for an hour in a crowded Macy’s just to catch a glimpse of Shay Mitchell signing autographs even though I couldn’t afford to buy one myself, but of all the positive things I could dig deep and say about Pretty Little Liars, “The acting!” is not one of them. And I tried to watch #YouOnLifetimeNetflix and I’m sure she’s great in it but I was so blinded by rage I could hardly tell. But Shay??? In this????? She’s phenomenal??????

I’m like…so gay, dude.

It has me wondering if Shay has just improved with age like a fine (and I do mean FINE) wine, or if PLL was just such a beautiful disaster it was hard to see the diamond in the rough.

Either way, my love for Shay Mitchell has only grown brighter and stronger even though it never went out, which is yet another reason I hope hope hope we get more of this bisexual badass in a third season.

Lifetime’s “You” Knows Ezra Fitz and Dan Humphrey Are the Fucking Worst

Every spoiler in the world is contained within this review. 

Listen, Lifetime’s You is a terrible television show and you absolutely should not watch it — but it does have one single redeeming quality: it peels the Freeform/CW filter off Ezra Fitz/Dan Humprhey and lays their psychotic stalking and gross-ass misogyny bare. Shay Mitchell also plays an obsessive lesbian socialite, but that’s unfortunately not the main point.

You is Greg Berlanti and Sera Gamble’s adaptation of Caroline Kepnes’ novel of the same name. It’s about a Serena van der Woodsen/Alison DiLairentis named Guinevere Beck who wanders into a bookstore and meets a Dan Humphrey/Ezra Fitz named Joe who immediately starts stalking her. He’s like, “Why’d she pay with a credit card if she didn’t want me to know her full name for Googling and reading literally everything she’s ever posted on social media?” “Why’d she get drunk and fall onto the train tracks if she didn’t want me to jump down there and rescue her and also steal her phone?” “Why’d she have sex with her terrible boyfriend right in front of these giant-ass windows with no blinds if she didn’t want me to wank off in the bushes right outside?” “Why’d her boyfriend let me catfish him down to the sound-proof basement of my bookshop if he didn’t want me to murder him to death?”

And here’s the kicker: The audience doesn’t have to just guess that’s what Joe’s thinking because the entire time he’s stalking Beck he’s voicing over every single thing he does, rationalizing away his predatory behavior with such exhausting gusto he actually convinces himself what he’s doing is what she wants him to do.

Joe’s an Ezra Fitz/Dan Humphrey hybrid, even outside of the stalking. He loves books — but not those garbage best-sellers read by the unwashed masses. He likes the classics, okay? He likes them bound in leather. High-brow well-regarded literature that people gush about over cold roasted moroccan spiced salmon and various tartlets at New Yorker parties. He likes a book you read in a smoking jacket while sipping a port. You give him a sci-fi written by a woman of color and he’s going to slap it out of your hands! You ever heard of Charles Dickens? You ever heard of David Foster Wallace? This is how he connects with Beck in the first place. In the bookstore, he trots out this bullshit when he first meets her and she agrees with him, confirming that he is such a goddamn special genius.

Okay but Shay Mitchell! She is very good as rich, flippant socialite Peach Salinger (yeah, yeah, like J.D.) and I hope she plays ten thousand more bitchy lesbians in her career! She rolls her eyes and sips her cocktails judgmentally and says the meanest Blair Waldorf shit (“Why do we need to come to Greenpoint to hear some wannabe read a poem about the bleakness of life or whatever”) and shames Beck about being poor while offering to loan her money which is obviously a passive-aggressive move to make Beck indebted to her. She puts her hand on Beck’s hand possessively, says she’ll do anything for her “and don’t forget it.” Peach reminds Beck repeatedly that her boyfriend — who owns an “artisanal soda start-up,” by the way — is the worst, and it’s like, yes, she’s being protective, but also controlling and clearly wants Beck to be her girlfriend. (This is only maybe four minutes, total, out of the whole pilot.)

Anyway, unlike Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl, which kept walking right up to Ezra and Dan’s stalking and sexism, and then running backwards, forcing characters to say things like, “Golly, he’s just too romantic for his own good,” You looks at this fucking creeper and is like “Wow, what a fucking creeper.”

The thing is, we don’t need a TV show to tell us guys like these are the worst because we already know guys like these are the worst. There’s no real catharsis in it; we were never going to give in to the urge to humanize them anyway. You is one-and-done for me, unless “you know I’ll do anything for you” was lesbian foreshadowing that Peach is ultimately going to club Joe over the head with a literal mallet the way Joe did to Beck’s artisanal-soda-boyfriend at the end of the episode. That level of secret misandry would make You a… definite maybe.

Shay Mitchell Is Not NOT Gay, Technically

Feature image via Cosmopolitan 

Somewhere in the middle of Pretty Little Liars‘ sixth season — while Emily Fields ran around in a the woods in the dark getting murdered a hundred times, and the other Liars fell in and out of love with boys — rumors started to swirl around the internet that PLL‘s writers had stopped giving Emily girlfriends because Shay Mitchell was tired of kissing women. Well, that turns out to be a big fat lie, because Shay Mitchell is not not gay and is maybe going to get herself a girlfriend when she’s 50 years old (which would involve kissing girls, which means she’s fine with it).

Shay is helping the world get ready for “Crazy, Sexy, Wild, OMG Summer Love” on the cover of this month’s Cosmopolitan, and that OMG love, for her, as a woman, could be with another woman, she told the magazine, who told Entertainment Tonight, who told me. Shay Mitchell is “never going to label herself.”

“When I started, people were like, ‘What are you?’ I’m like, right now I’m dating a guy. I don’t know what it’s going to be in three years. You love who you love,” she reveals. “Black, white, polka-dot, that’s what my dad always said … I could be 50 and dating a woman and then what? I said I was straight and now I’m not?”

This is, apparently, not an isolated sentiment. Two entire months ago Shay appeared on Ingrid Nilsin’s The Grid Monster and said the exact same thing.

Yes, the woman who plays one of the most beloved lesbian characters in TV history told a famous real life queer woman that she “doesn’t know” if she gay. TWO ENTIRE MONTHS. And it wasn’t a big deal! No one even told me! Have we now reached the place where Riese’s theory that everyone is queer is just accepted as IRL canon?

When I started in this business, if you interviewed an actress who played a lesbian or bisexual character, she’d spend the whole interview telling you about her husband and how being straight was like the main thing in her life, super main thing, more then breathing or eating, what she needed was just to be straight and for the world to know she was straight. Not anymore, suckas!

Shay Mitchell joins a long line of Canadian women — including Lost Girl‘s Zoie Palmer and Bomb Girls‘ Ali Liebert — who have pretended to be queer on television and later announced they weren’t exactly straight off of TV, either. When you add Ellen Page to this tally, you really start to wonder if Nova Scotia is the new Lesbos.

I want the Pretty Little Liars I fell in love with to come back to me in season seven, but if it doesn’t, I’m still really hyped that someone as famous and beloved as Shay Mitchell is out there in the world defying heteronormativity and smashing patriarchal ideals. I just hope no fake cousins come to town and chase her to the top of a lighthouse where she has to stab them in the guts to keep them from murdering her girlfriend who’s tied up in the closet. May she have Emily’s way with the ladies, but not her luck.