Obama Comes Out Against DOMA At Last and a Gay Comes Out Against “Fag Hags”: Daily Fix

Lesbian musician Kaki King got 16 artsy kids together and had them paint guitars that looked like songs, and Katrina Dangercaine was there. So were many other hipster lesbians. Read all about Kaki King’s art show. Also, Riese & Alex spent like a month making the Top Ten Lesbian Fashion Icons of all time so you should probably read it again.

Also if you’re looking for an apartment in New York City near Columbia University, hit up autostraddle.

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FAG HAGS: “Of the many gifts that “Will & Grace” bestowed upon my generation of gay men — increased visibility, cultural cachet, a naive understanding of New York apartment sizes — one of the most significant was the popularization of the fag hag (a term the show’s buttoned-down characters were too demure to even utter on air).”

TV ACTION: Evan Rachel Wood was “cutting herself on camera at the age of 14 and making out with chicks.” Read all about it in BlackBook. (@design scene)

SUPERHEROINES: A Brief Herstory of Louis Lane. There are very serious injustices happening in the world right now, for example – “Lois is the most important character in Superman’s mythos other than himself and, as such, deserves better attention, particularly as she has always reflected conflicting attitudes toward women, especially talented, independent women.” (@bitch)

MORE MADMEN: Many Americans do not understand why the TV series “Mad Men” is considered so amazing but nonetheless are pretending that they do. (@huffpo)

TRANS-SURGERY KITS: A Transwoman Performs Own Surgery after Transition Delay. Leaving us to wonder if anyone else knew that you could purchase home surgery kits? (@pink news)

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Daily Fix: Three Rivers Spoilers, Jill Sobule Kissed a Girl First & Some Lovely Lovely Bones

What’s today on Autostraddle? Only the most important thing we’ve ever published! It’s from Laneia, and it’s here, in our first round of “When I Knew I Was a Gay” stories, in honor of Gayiversary week, which we just invented! Also, our incredible interview & photoshoot with Nicole Pacent & Rachael Hip-Flores of Anyone But Me.

Also, it’s Shark Week – time for our Tuesday Wednesday Televisionary!

If you think you have the cutest, most clever, briefest “When I Knew” story tweet it to @autostraddle with hash tag #wheniknew and you could win a prize and you will defo see your  name in lights on AS!

Announcement: We’ve been getting a LOT of interest from people wanting to be Autostraddle Interns! Although we’re not actively seeking new interns right now, there’s certainly upcoming work to be done in the army so let me give you the scoop: if you do want to be an intern, please email riese [at] autostraddle dot com AND brooke [at] autostraddle dot com with a resumè and a paragraph explaining why the hell you want to do this and how much time you can devote. Also! At this time we are only accepting interns who possses one or all of the following: 1) Impeccable spelling, grammar and copy-editing abilities, 2) marketing or business experience, 3) a huge pile of money, 4) incredible internet savvy — you know html, understand blogging platforms, read 10,000 websites a day and understand the psychology of Web 2.0.

For “1” or anyone who wants to be involved in the editorial side of things rather than business, marketing, giving us your money or web/design stuff, please also include two writing samples!

THREE RIVERS SPOILERS: Let’s play a game called Shane or Miranda (Kate Moennig’s new role in new CBS show Three Rivers), shall we? Here’s the speech: “I know you don’t want to talk, but I’ll tell you something about myself. When I was young, I had all sorts of problems with my parents. And I did some crazy stuff to get them to notice me. It didn’t change much, but a lot of what I did ended up hurting me … I don’t think you’re a freak. But I do think you need to talk to somebody about this.” (The giveaway here is that she’s not about to fuck the pain away from some hot young lady … she’s talking to a little boy in Three Rivers Episode #102, “Place of Life.” Git your head out of the gutter!)

GAGA: Beyonce And Lady Gaga Lead 2009 MTV VMA Nominees and Lady Gaga says: ”We believe in the immensity and the promise of ‘showbiz’ and will continue to give it mouth-to-mouth, till its vomiting return. All you need is a camcorder, a flashlight and one truly great idea. Thank you, MTV, for being our video flagship, and for supporting this bunch of inspired kids, who love to get wasted and make art together.” (@mtv)

HOPE WE CAN BELIEVE IN???: Hope and History: As a candidate Obama promised us a lot; as president he’s delivered very little—and many gay people are getting impatient. Does the outcry unmask this president’s indifference, or reveal our own impotence as a movement? (@advocate)

THEY CAN HAVE THEIR DIAMONDS AND WE’LL HAVE OUR “GIRLS“: I have been waiting for two years for Jill Sobule to raise some hell about the fact that she wrote “I Kissed a Girl” first. At last she lets loose in  The Rumpus Interview with Jill Sobule:

“So here goes, for the first time in an interview: Fuck you Katy Perry, you fucking stupid, maybe “not good for the gays,” title thieving, haven’t heard much else, so not quite sure if you’re talented, fucking little slut. God that felt good.”

IT’S THE LAW PEOPLE: Bar group urges equal benefits for same-sex pairs: The ABA House of Delegates approved Monday on a voice vote a resolution urging repeal of a portion of the federal Defense of Marriage Act that defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman. (@chicagotribune)

GAGA: Lady Gaga ‘Very Obsessed With Monsters And Playgirls,’ Not Feminism: She makes a great comment about sexuality and then follows that up with: ”I’m not a feminist – I, I hail men, I love men. I celebrate American male culture, and beer, and bars and muscle cars…”

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Daily Fix: Courtney Semel Gets Her Own Show, Mormon Salesmen & Other Signs of the Apocalypse

Stef listens to a lot of music … in the future! Listen to read to discover what you should be doing with your ears right now, based on what you’ve done with your ears in the past. Speaking of the future, whatever happened to those girls (and James) from that show The L Word?

OUT AT WORK, OUT OF WORK, MAKING OUT AT WORK? We want your stories! We’re looking into what it’s like to be gay in the modern workplace — whatever that means, where-ever you are. First up: Crystal is calling for your stories — reader input, questions or experiences. Got a unique tale about discrimination or sexual harassment? Did you have a secret affair with the hetero lady-boss or an actual not scandalous relationship at work or did you accidentally kiss the intern and are waiting for the other shoe to drop? Are you a cast member of Gimme Sugar who inexplicably finds yourself fighting with your friends – who are also your coworkers — every single day about nothing?  Out of work ’cause you were out at work? Do you work for the gayest company ever? Email crystal@autostraddle.com with your stories & experiences. You can remain anonymous in the article, obvs.

EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT: Albania takes steps to legalize gay marriage:“It is an unexpected move in a country that is still one of the most conservative in Europe and where homosexuality was illegal until 1995.” (@BBC news)

BLOG: Also, over at Riese’s blog Autowin, rising star Haviland Stillwell answered a bunch of your questions and Riese is still answering all your questions. It’s like an eternal interview. Check it. (@tgcaw)

MORMONS: Oh my f*cking G-d, we can’t believe this is real, and we didn’t know about it before (it’s a June story): Chicago Security Company turning missionaries into door-to-door salesmen by employing — “former Mormon Missionaries from Utah who cut their teeth — and learned their people-skill chops — cold-calling for their faith.” (@nytimes)

BROMANCING THE STONE: “IT’S TOTALLY NOT GAY AT ALL YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY. REMEMBER THAT MEN WHO HAVE FRIENDS ARE NOT GAY. You know, because guys can’t have close relationships that don’t involve sex unless they can call it something that indicates its so-not-gay-ness.” (@bitch)

A SHOT AT LOVE WITH SOMEONE SOME FAMOUS PEOPLE HAVE ALSO HAD A SHOT WITH: This country is going to hell in a handbasket! Her? REALLY? Courtney Semel, that girl who dated Tila Tequila & allegedly Lindsay Lohan (probs she just didn’t know enough lezzies yet, like dating the only out girl in Hollywood Socialite High) is getting her own reality show. (@queerty)

RIGHT?S: A bill that would grant spousal health benefits to domestic partners of federal employees cleared a House subcommittee today by a five to three vote.

UGLY/PRETTY BETTY: They’re bringing in focus groups to decide if they like Betty better when she’s ugly. One of the evaluation areas is “eyebrows.”- Ugly Betty’ exclusive: Betty’s glam new look under review at ABC: (@ew.com)

GAY RIGHTS: Gay activists: Marriage secondary to basic rights– “Gay marriage and gays in the military may dominate the headlines, but activists in many states say their fight is much more fundamental: basic rights and protections against discrimination in employment, housing and public accommodation, even to overturn a ban on changing gender on a driver’s license or birth certificate.” (@washingtonpost) [Gay battle tactics, What are they? Maybe they should read the Autostraddle roundtable.]

MEGHAN SPINS ME RIGHT ROUND: Meghan McCain writes an open letter to New York republicans– “Equality under the law and personal freedoms are what make America the greatest country in the world, and they are core values that I hold as a Republican.” (@nydailynews)

AUTOWINNERS: Harvey Milk, Billy Jean King awarded the presidential medal– The medal is given to those who “share one overarching trait: each has been an agent of change. Each saw an imperfect world and set about improving it, often overcoming great obstacles along the way. Their relentless devotion to breaking down barriers and lifting up their fellow citizens sets a standard to which we all should strive.” (doesn’t it strike you sometimes that the way Obama speaks is literally the opposite of how our last president spoke?)

TEEN: Gender Bender prom! – Jeremy, clearly the coolest kid in school, went to his high school prom in a gown and makeup instead of a tuxedo and was denied entrance. I hope you danced all night on the street, you Dancing Queen. (@theexaminers)

MONEY HONEY: An art finance company that lent celebrity photographer (lez!) Annie Leibovitz $24 million against the value of her entire collection and her properties is suing her. (@yahoo news)

COMEDIAN: Kate Clinton is hanging out in Provincetown, going to “fundraising benefit parties,workshops with Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere, (COLAGE), Garndening.” (@thebliercoprojcet)

Award for best hypothertical roller derby name based on anatomical misunderstandings:

Kate – On “In the Sydney Roller Derby, Even ‘Girly Girls’ Hit Hard“: Are quadriceps “guns”? If I were a roller derby girl, I would be called Guns McGee. That would strike fear into the hearts of many. Also? I would call my sleeves “holsters”.

Kate’s follow-up comment: “Oh, quadriceps are in your legs… so, I’d have to tell people that I put my holsters on, one leg at a time.

Best Gandhi Quote:

Honorable mention to the craic, but really to Gandhi — the craic dropped a great Mohandas Gandhi quote on “Evangelicals, Rapists, Tramps & Theives“: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

from Intern X:
Do you need to smile today? Here watch this slow lorris get his belly rubbed. In other news now I want a pet slow lorris.
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from Riese: Cool Philanthropy: The Yellow Bird Project is “a non-profit Montreal based organization dedicated to bringing our customers the finest of quality, originality, and philanthropy.” They get cool indie musicians to design t-shirts. For example, STARS is included.
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from Alex:
If you somehow totally missed this in 2007 like I did, it is my pleasure to bring you ‘The Yes Dance’!
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Obama Knows Gays are still “Denied Their Rights”

Girl-in-Greece: The Incredibly True Adventures of a History Nerd in Love with Mount Olympus: decided I wanted to visit Greece three years ago — right before all those dumb movies set in Greece flooded the marketplace and inspired my friends & family to assume I’d picked my destination because of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.

Also, we have created a special girl-on-gallery of photographs for our ex-web host, bluehost, and their Mormon buddies: Hot Girls Leave a Little Something up to the Imagination.

ON THE UPSIDE HE PROBS WON’T STEAL YOUR SON’S FLEECE: “My son “Bob” is leaving for his freshman year of college in August. Bob just received his roommate assignment and discovered that his roomie is gay … Bob would prefer a straight roommate.  When I called the university to ask if Bob could be assigned another roomie, the housing director said no …” (@dear amy, la times)

LOGO: Carlytron made this for Logo’s NewNowNext Icons series. Watch it!: NewNowNext Icons – Stevie Nicks.

DRUNKITY DRINK DRINK: Good news! Ready to lose your virginity or write a blog post about your feelings? You’re in luck, because boxed wine is making a comeback! (@forbes) (more…)

Daily Fix: Hangover City & Laneia’s Grocery List & Maybe Something About DADT or Adam Lambert?

Laneia’s latest “Now What?” column talks about how women are investing in our future with Now What? Damn the Man! Women Small Business Owners Will Save the (F)empire!! And in Honor of NYC Pride, Riese has returned to recapping The L Word, starting with (most of) episode 211: Loud & Proud.

Hello! Welcome to the daily fix! It’s a bit half-assed today ’cause we’re kinda exhausted.

But the good news is, because we are so spectacularly hungover and behind on life news of the raffle is making its merry way all over the internet, we’ve decided to extend your ticket-buying opportunities. Y’all can still buy raffle tickets ’til 8 P.M. EST tonight ’til July 1st!

We don’t want to cut off the when it’s still burning so brightly like like the life of Michael Jackson the life of Dana Fairbanks. For example, read “Cool Stuff Happening on Autostraddle.com” on Craftster.org right now!

This will be a gradually evolving Daily Fix as we gradually get our shit together. We are still all Team Hangover after the Rodeo Disco Pride Party. We are going to stop talking about ourselves and stop talking about the world in like two days promise.  My number one feeling is that I wish everyone who is reading this right now could’ve come to our party and my number two feeling is I can’t get out of bed. (more…)

The Gay Generation Gap & The Newly Lesbian Lesbian

“I just wish they’d realize no matter how matter how I dress or look, I will always be really gay”: Riese interviews and Robin photographs Kim Stolz of America’s Next Top Model, MTV-U, MTV News, True/Slant and The Huffington Post!

Carly’s Tuesday Televisionary is chock full of two weeks of television goodness, including the newly minted Weeds Awards for Weeds, a comic-con call out request, entertainment news, Kathy Griffin, and an amazing table-flipping animated gif.

Buy raffle tickets now … or be very sorry later. (Raffle ends this Sunday! Anyone can enter!)

IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND: Once a week, Daily Intel looks behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Newly Lesbian Lesbian, who is Loving It.

Been there: Receive IM from my male ex. I don’t understand how he can bitch about me “turning lez” yet still want to hang out. It’s one or the other, dude.

Don’t Tell: Saying good-bye is usually a twenty-minute affair involving lots of kisses and hugs. Some guy yells that he “does not like that” and “will tell Bloomberg.” Well okay, you do that. (more…)

The Crazies Are At it Again & Something’s Brewing in the Heartland

We’re really, really, really, really, really excited to present Riese’s interview and Robin’s photoshoot with MTV-U VJ, MTV news correspondent, Huffington Post writer, successful fashion model and smokin’ hot out lesbian Kim Stolz, who you may know best from America’s Next Top Model Cycle 5 and the 500 gay press stories about Kim that followed her appearance on that show. She has truly awesome things to say, you will feel better about life after reading the interview we promise xoxo.

It’s your last chance to win Tina Kennard’s dress on ebay! However, it is not your last chance to enter the raffle!

Moving on … If you haven’t already read our interview & photoshoot with Kate McKinnon and take a longing look back at that wonderful place we call high school.

GLAMBERT: Hi-Fi Recordings/Wilshire records has decided to take hellfire into their own hands by doing something Jesus would not like at all – they’re releasing/promoting On With the Show, a record Adam sang on, because it’s “the right thing for fans to hear this music.” Lambert denounces the record: “I was hired as a studio singer to lend my vocals to tracks written by someone else. I was broke at the time and this was my chance to make a few bucks.” Well, now Hi-Fi is gonna make a couple too.

POP: First peek (and another peek!) at Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, starring lesbian man-crush Johnny Depp as well as Anne Hathaway as the White Queen and Helena Bonham Carter as The Red Queen. (more…)

Meet New York’s First Gay Married Couple & Show Us Your Pride!

Guess what! It’s Intern Daphne (@daphne_duck)’s birthday!

Also, it’s International Mix Tape Day! Or … it was, so now we’ve made an executive decision that this week is actually International Mix Tape Week. You can listen to THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT, a mix featuring the most optimistic songs chosen by the team & the army and then you can DIY your face! I mean! Your CD! It’s our very first How-To!

Speaking of the future, we sent a lady into the world of men to tell us about the Worldwide Developer’s Conference in Carlytron’s latest Nerd Alert. Also! Girl-on-Gallery – Hot Boyish Girls do Androgyny.

DAMN THE MAN! SAVE THE GAYS: Meet New York City’s first gay-married couple! “Two gay men, one of them dressed as a woman, sort of duped the city into granting a marriage license and performing an official ceremony for them, despite the fact that they both have male first names.” This takes “genderf*ck to a whole new level. So brilliant, why didn’t we think of this.(@gawker)

ART: This is completely brilliant –  Artist Dina Goldstein: “These works place Fairy Tale characters in modern day scenarios. In all of the images the Princess is placed in an environment that articulates her conflict. The ‘…happily ever after’ is replaced with a realistic outcome and addresses current issues.” (@jpg magazine) (more…)

Autostraddle Roundtable: So … Prop 8 Was Upheld. What Do We Do Now?

Soooooo … Prop 8 was upheld. That was neat. What do we do now?

In the hours and days following the court’s decision on Prop 8, many pundits, politicians and writers started talking about where we go from here. Do we try again in 2010 or 2012? Should we dump gay marriage as a cause and focus on universal health care and better adoption laws? Do we re-think our approach, supporting only organizations, businesses and political leaders who actively support our values? Perhaps we should concentrate on earning rights for all unmarried people? Do we take it to the streets?

So we decided to talk about what we think should happen next — and what needs to happen for Prop 8 to be overturned with the ultimate goal of equal rights for all. What’s holding us back, what can we do, what other things need to happen in America for our laws to change?

Autostraddle Roundtable:
What Now, Gays?

CARLY:

There’s SO MANY THINGS that need to be changed/fixed/improved, so while I do feel that “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” should just go away already, I’m gonna actually write about something else I feel very strongly about—the separation of church and state!

Disclaimer: I am not an expert, nor did I do any research to accompany the following paragraphs.

Back in middle school & high school, we’d read about all the great lengths our forefathers went to to ensure a strict separation between church & state and blah blah blah but we all know what that really means. We’re “one nation, under God,” so obvs this church/state thing was problematic from the start.

And since we don’t have time machines (I wish!) and can’t go back and try to explain to the old white dudes in the powder wigs about abortion and gay rights and all that good stuff, we have to figure out how to make it work now.

What each couple does with their civil union license is their choice. They could get “married” at their church or synagogue! They could have a small party for their friends and family! Or they could do NOTHING at ALL! It’s entirely up to them based on their families and beliefs. Done and done.

Unfortunately, I don’t think there will come a day in the US where we will have an actual separation of church and state, I think it’s (unfortunately, in my opinion) too much a part of what we are. And when I say “we,” let me be clear: it’s a “we” that I don’t feel as though I’m really a part of. Maybe it’s because I don’t agree with war, maybe it’s because I fully support an individual’s right to choose what is best for them, maybe it’s because I don’t currently have equal rights under the law. But I live here and I’m a citizen and I’m not planning on revolting or leaving any time soon. But there are certain things that the federal government can do to ensure that things get on a better path.

Don’t try to change the definition of marriage—remove it from all government and legal documentation and jurisdiction from here on out. The term “marriage” is causing far more bad than good and besides, it’s an outmoded patriarchal institution that is rooted in misogyny and other terrible things. States should be giving out civil union licenses, not marriage licenses. And we already know what a civil union is—same thing as “marriage” but without the name (in most instances). So just get rid of the name. Then, any consenting couple can go get a civil union license, which grants them all of the rights and privileges as married couples are granted now, just with a different name. Then, what each couple decides to do with that is their choice. They could get “married” at their church or synagogue! They could have a small party for their friends and family! Or they could do NOTHING at ALL! It’s entirely up to them and their families and beliefs. Done and done.

Certainly, in my personal idea of a Utopian society, there’s very little organized religion and the government leaves its citizens alone, but obviously that’s not happening any time soon. If we are able to remove religiously-based terms and institutions from federal and state government, though, I think that it will lead to bigger and better things over time.

ALEX:

In my humble roundtable opinion, there’s nothing more effective and important in our everyday little gay/bisexual lives than being 100% honest about who we are to ourselves and to others around us.

Note: I didn’t use the term “come out” in that sentence. Not to get annoyingly specific about my own situation, but I never “came out” to family and friends because it just wasn’t for me. I felt it would perpetuate categories with them. I’ve only “come out” strategically in conversation with strangers.

Example: In a conversation with a few friends and acquaintances, one in particular felt it appropriate to throw around gay slurs and “faggot” and misogynistic language as well (cause they usually go together, right?)

Agree with how hot the waitress is when the guy next to you does. Proclaim your love for Jennifer Beals to your friends when they’re all hetero-crazy over Zac Efron (he’s totes cute, so you can agree with them too!)

So my interjection was “Um hey! Did you know I’m gay?” and I think it threw him off a bit. So he says“Yeah!” and I continue with “So is there a problem with that?” “No. Not at all.” That’s all it took, really. He started back-tracking. Even if this guy’s behavior or general opinion hadn’t changed at that moment, the seed had been planted. He saw that it wasn’t safe to use those words after all, that his opinion wasn’t universally respected by those around him.

I don’t think many people (or friends/acquaintances/strangers) want to offend us right to our faces.

The thing is, if this gentleman’s language was racist, you know he wouldn’t dare talk like that in front a black dude. It’s scary that we have to let ourselves be known because it’s not always written on our foreheads. But I’m telling you, for yourself and for the rest of us – it’s totally worth it. It’s all that we CAN do right now.

And this stuff doesn’t always have to be confrontational! Agree with how hot the waitress is when the guy next to you does. Proclaim your love for Jennifer Beals to your friends when they’re all hetero-crazy over Zac Efron (he’s totes cute, so you can agree with them too!)

You’re a girl. You like girls (and maybe even boys sometimes too.) It’s as simple as that and there isn’t a damn thing wrong with it. Own it, girl.

“If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.”
(Harvey Milk)

RIESE:

Yes! Now I can talk about my favorite topic, Symbolic Annihilation, or the “absence of representation in the media.” Sociologist Tuchman divided the concept into three aspects: omission, trivialization and condemnation. In 1991, Larry Gross’s essay “Out of the Mainstream: Sexual Minorities and the Mass Media,” applied this specifically to gay people: “The gender system is supported by the mass media treatment of sexual minorities. They are ignored or denied – symbolically annihilated … of all social groups (except perhaps communists) we are probably the least permitted to speak for ourselves in the mass media.”

Furthermore, “representation in the mediated ‘reality’ of our mass culture is in itself power … when groups or perspectives do attain visibility, the manner of that representation will itself reflect the biases and interests of those elites who define the public agenda.”

There are a lot of people who will never respond to our anger, our rallies, or even to our straightforward pleas for empathy & understanding—the only way to reach many of these people is through media visibility and responsible representation.

The sad truth is most people are ignorant and don’t pay much attention to political nuance, or to questioning indoctrinated religious ideals and right-wing propaganda. Furthermore, I suspect a lot more stalwart hearts & minds were changed by Portia being on Ellen than by any PSA or rally.

There are a lot of people who will never respond to our anger, our rallies, or even to our straightforward pleas for empathy & understanding—the only way to reach many of these people is through media visibility and responsible representation.

This doesn’t have to be a compromise, because I don’t think there’s anything about our stories or our art that’s inherently distasteful to anyone, or inherently “fringe,” and I think it’s possible we can tell our stories honestly and be heard on a mass level without sacrificing our queer sensibility or community solidarity. Outsider voices are always where the interesting and exciting stuff is happening anyhow.

We need to be seen and it needs to be GOOD. TV shows, movies and also in the news—people need to know stories like this one are happening. As lesbians this is particularly important—and difficult—we struggle against sexism and homophobia and the patriarchy, and many of us also must contend with racism. Gay men are further along than we are w/r/t media visibility, I think, and part of that is ‘cause men are conditioned socially to believe they are worthy and powerful, and that’s how despite our society’s aversion to the perceived threat on masculinity posed by homosexual men, when it comes to business deals and big media, they’ve still been able to get things like Will&Grace and we got um … um. A few eps of The O.C.?

We’re worth it, we must believe that we are worth it. We must fight hard for the social and cultural capital that will get us into the political arena, we must never give up on that.

When people feel they are seen, or feel they have allies or women they can relate to, they will feel more comfortable coming out to their families and friends. Then change will really begin. We will turn far-away faces into human face-to-face faces!

“An oppositional strategy is the subversion and appropriation of mainstream media, as well as the occasionally successful infiltration … the ultimate expression of independence for a minority audience struggling to free itself from the dominant culture’s hegemony is to become the creators and not merely the consumers of media images.”

(Larry Gross)

NATALIE:

So, the question: What is the biggest thing that needs to change in order the LGBTQ community to achieve equality, including in marriage??

Eeeeeks! I am going to talk a bit crazy now, a bit broad and abstract-y. Bear with me. An overhaul/realignment of the “value” system in the US is necessary. There is an urgent need to stop(!) policing sex, proscribing gender, and regulating sexuality; we need to delink religion and policy; our policies should be based on equality, respect for diversity/differing realities and experiences.

Hey parents, grandparents: stop teaching hate and discrimination. Let people be…people. Full and whole. Teach love and acceptance, even if you disagree or dislike.

A changing of public sentiment toward gender and sex must happen. How? This is the question. I suppose the answer lies somewhere in the realms of education, media, visibility, and representation.

I think education and media are key: this is how minds change. The older generations can play a huge role, too.

Hey parents, grandparents: stop teaching hate and discrimination. Let people be…people. Full and whole. Teach love and acceptance, even if you disagree or dislike. It is not your place to police others’ lives (this is what Jesus would want, I am sure of it …in fact, I am sure that religion, by definition, preaches the “be nice, don’t judge” doctrine. No? Also, trust in younger generations is important-we all have things to learn from one another.

So, the big picture: shifting public perception. Also, though, I imagine specific interventions are useful: securing the right to marry, removing “the don’t ask don’t tell” policy, teaching sex education in schools from a non-heteronormative stance…

It is here that Obama and US government representatives need to step the FUCK up!

CRYSTAL:

I don’t want to appear like an ungrateful Gen Y-er, but I think my country (Australia) would be closer to achieving equality if younger people were able to take on more prominent positions in the parliament and the media.

My country is still being run by Baby Boomers who are set in their conservative ways, and said ways do not favour unicorn concepts like gay rights…

My country is still being run by Baby Boomers who are set in their conservative ways, and said ways do not favour unicorn concepts like gay rights or same-sex marriage or civil unions etc. So I guess Gen X needs to start rising up and creating change, ‘cause it’s my belief that the public would be open to it. In saying this, Australia has a habit of blindly following the USA’s footsteps and so the more cynical side of me sometimes feels like we won’t see equality until it is achieved in the USA first. But we’ll see. My country often surprises me and I hope it keeps doing so in all of the good ways.

BROOKE:

One of the most important issues facing our community right now is a perceived lack of financial capital. Money talks. Until queer women are viewed by others (as well as themselves) as having a sizable pocketbook, we will never be able to leverage ourselves into having and maintaining a strong voice in the social, political or cultural arenas.

ROBIN:

Knowledge is power! Sex education is extremely undervalued and under taught in this country and I think a change in how we approach gender and sexuality, both in our schools and in our homes, would make a huge difference in helping children grow up to become self-aware and progressive adults. My opinion on this topic is based on my own experiences with sex education, or lack thereof.

First off, my family was never comfortable talking about sex. I didn’t learn anything about sexuality or my body at home aside from the basic idea that in order to create a biological human baby, a man must insert a certain unspeakable appendage into a woman’s body (but only in the context of a loving, sound, “heteronormal” marriage). This scenario sounded so awful that it served as decent birth control for me from ages 8-12. After that, I was left to my own devices.

In middle school I underwent the classic coming-of-age sex ed experience: boys and girls were divided into separate classrooms to clinically discuss how babies are made and the sessions focused mainly on a vague chart of male sex anatomy. I assume the school felt a young woman didn’t need to learn anything about her own body, that instead our learning should focus on the greatest of all human feats—baby-making (again, only between a man & his wife)—and then we should be able to figure out the rest. Oddly enough, the gym teacher was our lecturer and I’m pretty sure she was a gay lady.

In high school “sex ed,” we were told to walk around the classroom and write down the names of five classmates of the opposite sex. After I’d finished asking five boys how to spell their last names and was waiting, confused, for the point of this exercise, the teacher explained that writing down these names represented that we had had sexual relations with these people. As if that wasn’t disturbing enough, we were informed it’s ‘cause we didn’t use protection and one person in the class had AIDS and now we all had it! Then the bell rang and it was time for Social Studies.

As if that wasn’t disturbing enough, we were informed it’s ‘cause we didn’t use protection and one person in the class had AIDS and now we all had it! Then the bell rang and it was time for Social Studies.

I walked out of there with so many questions—What the heck is AIDS? What protection is available? What if you’re GAY?!!? How do gay people use protection?— and looking back now at the sex ed I was getting while going through puberty and entering adulthood I feel almost physically ill. Isn’t there a better way of informing students about HIV/AIDS and teaching them about a healthy sexual life? I was confused and unaware of my sexuality until about age 22, when I started figuring it out. That was six years ago.

My public high school required all seniors to take a class called “Family Living,” though all anyone seems to remember from it is that my friend Kim had to get married. Luckily I missed out on the underage heterosexual wedding planning fun ‘cause I was learning about “Modesty” in a sex-seperated classroom at a Christian boarding school in St.Louis, MO.

Anyhow, you’d think a Northern New Jersey public high school would be more progressive by now, but they still offer it (wording slightly changed):

“Family Living is a one marking period unit stressing analysis of contemporary and traditional attitudes and values as they relate to family life. The emphasis of this course is placed on masculine and feminine roles, the nuclear family, lifestyles and marriage law.”

The lack of sex ed not only contributes to problems like teen pregnancy and STDs, but also does damage to the LGBT community. Children can’t develop self-awareness or understand their sexuality/gender identity while constantly being taught to ignore your urges, set aside your questions and slap on a smile & a wedding dress. Teaching “gender roles” is damaging and not teaching children about all the glorious forms of sexuality is even more dangerous. Kids need to know that they’re not alone—that they’re okay, normal and beautiful no matter how they identify. If they felt comfortable with themselves, they would be able to be themselves at school and with their families.

World thought on the LGBT community would change a great deal if previously homophobic kids (of course this is a LEARNED behavior from homophobic parents/friends/teachers) were taught about love and sexuality in the same breath. If these kids were taught about a healthy way to explore their own sexuality and given a platform to be able to ask any questions they please, they’d come home and say “well, my teacher taught us today about LGBT issues and here are the facts…”

I believe strongly that homophobia is more easily changed in the hearts of the young and progressive. As time goes on and correct and proper education prevails over wacky religious rhetoric, children will grow up in a world where they will be impressively self-aware. They will teach their parents and bosses and friends about sexuality, gender and true equality. I already see it happening.

TINKERBELL:

Hello Homosexuals, it is Tinkerbell. As a dog I do not have many rights, for example I cannot join the army, vote, or smoke the ganja. I also have special privileges like I do not have to work, also my love for Littlefoot my boyfriend and for Kelly Clarkson. What I do not enjoy is people saying a woman marrying a woman will lead to a woman marrying a dog. I do not want to marry a woman. I am very little and she would crush my bones. Humans have human laws and dogs have dog laws, human laws should be equal for all humans and they can be equal for all humans without involving dogs. What is wrong with you people. Love Tinkerbell.

Daily Fix: Pose Like a Lesbian, Smile With Your Thighs

Today on Austostraddle:  … A Double Trouble Beat on the Street — Stef interviews Sick of Sarah & Crystal interviews Emma Dean! … Top Ten Acts of Lesbian Storyline Endurance: The lengths we go to for two minutes of sweeps bisexual action! Also check out our new girl-on-gallery — DISCO RODEO, which is part of a theme for our big announcement on Monday. Sidenote; Stef loves horses.

+ Bollywood’s Neethu Chandra defends allegations resulting from “posing like a lesbian” for a photoshoot: “If there is even an iota of doubt in anyone’s mind, let me make it clear once and for all that I am not a lesbo.”

+ Rolling Stone’s 2009 Hot List: The Models, Actors, and Movies Standing Between Us and Total Despair. Lady Gaga is the “Hot Diva,” clearly.

+ Don’t let Obama off the hook: “Want civil rights? You’re a punchline. Want your sons and daughters home from the Middle East? You’re a punchline. Want your tax dollars to stop funding wars? You’re a punchline.” (@queerty)

+ Fairfax High’s prom queen is a boy! (@ LA Times) (more…)

Daily Fix: YOU ARE AN ABOMINATION ALL CAPS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ALL CAPS!

Today on Autostraddle: Check out our NewNowNext Awards preview video in which Alex & Riese interview famous people about random things — with another sneak-peak at Robin’s photos, including Cheyenne Jackson and Christian Siriano. Also our Autostraddle Roundtable was especially awesome this week — about the intersection of Church and State-of-Mind.

+ Ted Haggard is writing a book. Probs his wife will too. Also, he voted for Kris Allen. Every time an asshole gets a book deal, an entire forest spontaneously combusts. (@queerty)

+ Adam Lambert’s brother Neil has been posting on the SomethingAwful.com forums all this time:

“Against all odds, Adam has been subtly trolling America by wearing ridiculous clothes and singing bizarre renditions of popular songs. Frankly, I think he’s thoroughly freaking out middle America … with your help, he can succeed in his mission! He’s up against the ‘safe’ choice. The guy is talented and nice and not scary and weird. Adam is talented and weird. I want someone like that to win just to see people lose their poo poo. Also, I love my brother and want him to sing.” (more…)

Weekend Fix – GLAAD Awards San Fran & White House Correspondents Dinner & More!

Sooo … Saturday’s almost over and here we are, bringing you the daily fix at the day’s end — buttttt we’re kinda EXACTLY ON TIME actually early for tonight’s glaad media awards in San Francisco (guests include Chelsea Handler, South of Nowhere‘s Gabrielle Christian & Maeve Quinlan, Suze Orman, Chad Allen, QAF cast members, Gavin Newsom and our teenage mancrush Simon Rex) AND The White House Correspondents Dinner hosted by out lesbian Wanda Sykes (other guests include Mariska Hargitay, Chris Matthews, Demi Moore, Glenn Close, Alicia Keys, Natalie Portman, Felicity Huffman, Keith Olbermann, Tyra Banks, Meghan McCain, Kate Walsh; Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel).

So keep coming back to this post on Autostraddle all night (UPDATE: And tomorrow! ‘Cause there’s no glaad award stuff out there yet!) and we’ll give you what we always give you for important events: the most RAW haphazard thrown-together fourth-hand coverage of these two super-awesome and gay-star-studded events! Also, amazing:

“Chace Crawford (Gossip Girl), a Democrat, is attending as a guest of Fox News, and according to Us, he “hopes to be seated next to O’Reilly so that he can talk about his pro-Obama beliefs.” (source)

White House Correspondents, Glaad Awards and Daily Link Fix after the jump …
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Ex-Miss-Cali Gets In the Mix & Pink’s Been Out Since 2006

Today on Autostraddle: Stef does one of her legendary cartoon recaps about Saturday night’s Lady GaGa concert! More later.

+Ex Miss California is pro gay marriage. (@Desert Dispatch) Best part hands down of this article: “She originally began championing global warming awareness but became more interested in equal rights through meeting pageant people who supported gay rights.” You know, like the boys that did her hair!

+In The High School Comic Chronicles of Ariel Schrag, her four-part series of autobiographical graphic novels, the 29-year-old cartoonist moves year-by-year through her life as a gay teen in 1990s California, tackling puberty, friendship and coming out along the way. (ed. note: Ariel used to write for The L Word, too, when it was good and stuff.) (@npr)

Riese Rants Briefly: This “Pink is bisexual” story is driving me insane. Pink comes out as bisexual! Pink says she never said that! Who cares? Back in ’06, I was working on a book about bisexuality, and I routinely cited Pink as one of many popular actors/musicians who’s flexible sexuality had not prevented their mainstream success. We’re all too hung up on labels and linguistics — the way I see it is that Pink’s using her own words to refer to the same concept that the media is implicating when it employs the word “bisexual.” If I had the time, I’d go through all my Pink-is-“bi” sources but I don’t, so! Here’s one!

In addition to her sexy music video where she actually makes out with herself (also female), I’d like to cite this OCTOBER 2006 interview from DIVA magazine.: (more…)

That’s One Tall Woman

1.Judge Judy has spoken: “Why the state should be interested in proscribing the word marriage from two people who love each other, who are responsible, tax-paying, productive people, who have created a family … why the state would have an interest in proscribing that kind of conduct, I don’t understand.” (@aol news/larry king live)

2. Amazing feature on The Power of Michelle Obama. A plethora of kickass writers tackle various aspects of the first lady’s appeal. These mini-essays include Sam Anderson’s That’s One Tall Woman, Terry McMillan’s Her Body, Ourselves, Amy Bloom’s The First Wives’ Club and Jennifer Senior’s The Meaning of an Icon. (@nymag)

3. Tallahassee rally urges lifting of gay adoption ban — Harvey Milk’s nephew is there. (@miami herald)

4. Really Tyra? REALLY? Bloggers talk back on Tyra’s choice to promote “purity” and “innocence” by dressing her 18+ contestants in little girl’s clothing, playing hopscotch: (more…)