White House Compromises on DADT: ‘Cause Everyone Loves Meeting Halfway

DON’T ASK DON’T TELL:

People have some pretty strong feelings about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and I don’t know that “compromise” was really what anyone was looking for. But it looks like that’s what we’re getting – today the White House agreed to support an amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act that would repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell this year, but the repeal will only go into effect after the Department of Defense has completed its 10-month “review” of what a repeal would mean for the armed forces. Depending on how you look at it, this is either everyone getting what they want or no one getting what they want. It’s clear how Lt. Dan Choi feels:

What this decision means is that while Obama is in fact very definitively moving towards a DADT repeal – documents that signify the death of the policy may be signed as early as next week – things will not actually be any different for gay servicemembers for a long time, for as long as it takes for the DoD to ruminate on the issue. In fact, this is more or less the opposite of what Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has argued for – that discharges of queers be suspended while we figure out whether they are, you know, constitutional. It’s a frustrating kind of paradox that while the President has apparently thrown his full backing behind a repeal and agrees that firing soldiers for being gay is stupid, soldiers are still getting fired for being gay. Honestly, Lt. Choi is 100% correct – DADT is not dead, not in a way that has any meaning for the people it affects.

At the same time, though, this is not a surprise. While it would be great for Obama to have signed off on this today, and presented Lt. Choi with a rainbow medal and sent everyone back to the front, this move is pretty much in line with everything the government has indicated about its position. As Defense Secretary Gates and Obama himself have said, the DoD “review” is about how to have a DADT repeal happen, not necessarily whether it should happen or not. So while Obama wants to take this opportunity to prove to everyone how serious he is about making this happen, he’s going to defer to the military to figure out the best way to approach it, and they’re pretty insistent that they need the next 10 months to figure that out. This would perhaps be easier to swallow if they were a little more transparent about what they were analyzing, but maybe that’s too much to hope for. Obama has said that he’s “committed to getting this done both soon and right,” and it appears he’s asking us to sacrifice a little on “soon” for the sake of “right.”

Regardless of whether you feel this is a meaningful step towards a DADT repeal or not, we should be able to agree that it’s a meaningful step for gay activism of all stripes. The decision today was reached after meeting with Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, Servicemembers United, and the Human Rights Campaign. A lot of people have worked hard and sacrificed more for this campaign than most of us can imagine – while a “compromise” probably wasn’t the goal they were working towards, this is one of the most identifiable moments of an institution really being made to hear our voices, and while we may not be willing to call this a victory, we shouldn’t call it a defeat either.

For a more in-depth analysis, reactions and responses from gay organizations, and a chance to look at the actual documents and communications involved, check out the posts at Queerty, Joe My God, and Pam’s House Blend.

CONSTANCE MCMILLEN:

School district denies steering lesbian teen to sham prom: “A rural Mississippi school district sued by a lesbian teen who wanted to bring a female date to the prom denies that it steered Contance McMillen to a sham prom while her classmates partied elsewhere.” (@usa today)

YOU LIKE US, YOU KINDA LIKE US:

Gallup reports: Over 50% of Americans support the “moral acceptability” of gay & lesbian relationships! Isn’t that so kind! Apparently this is the first time it’s crossed the “symbolic 50% threshhold.” Also, the lowest percentage ever thing our relations are “morally wrong” (that’d be 43%) (@gallup)

AIDS:

Denial of gay rights adds to risk of Aids:The denial of human rights of all kinds has a very negative effect on the Aids response. Men who have sex with men are at risk of HIV transmission in all regions of the world, including Africa. (@guardian)

HARVEY MILK DAY:

Harvey Milk remembered on Castro Street on day in his honor: About 200 people were on Castro Street last weekend for the dedication of a plaque honoring Harvey Milk. It read: “Harvey Milk/ Forceful advocate for the rights of all/ ‘Burst down those closet doors/ once and for all/ and stand up and start to fight.’” (@sfpublicpress)

What Would Elena Kagan Do?

Since President Obama announced Elena Kagan as his nominee to replace Justice Stevens on the Supreme Court, everyone’s been attempting to predict what type of Supreme Court Justice she might be. Will she be the progressive visionary filling the ideological void left by Justice Stevens’ retirement, or will she take a more moderate stance and work to bridge the divide between the varying factions of the Court? Does her limited public record disguise the fact that she’s secretly super-conservative, or simply make it easier to ensure her confirmation?

I understand the desire to predict her hypothetical future rulings. After all, the Supreme Court plays a significant role in shaping the country, it’s a lifetime appointment, and it would be nice to know what we’re getting before we’ve committed.

Kagan’s Record Is Light on Answers

But the reality is, you can scrutinize every words she’s ever spoken and every action she’s ever taken, and you’re unlikely to end up much closer to knowing what she might do as a Supreme Court Justice. Thus far, Kagan’s public life has been defined by her actions as an advocate — whether advising President Clinton or representing the faculty, students and institution as the Dean of Harvard Law School. Her prior actions as an advocate provide little guidance as to her personal views or her understanding of the Constitution.

Take, for example, the memo she co-authored to President Clinton in 1997. In the memo, she recommended that Clinton endorse an amendment banning late-term abortions to sustain his credibility and prevent Congress from overriding his veto. One can hardly infer her personal stance on abortion based on the memo though, or even her thoughts regarding the Constitutionality of such restrictions. Her recommendation was clearly based on a political calculation rather than any concerns regarding late-term abortions. This isn’t to suggest that she’s lacking such thoughts, just that her personal beliefs about the subject were not part of the analysis.

Unfortunately, we’re not likely to learn much more in the upcoming confirmation hearings. Prior to her last round of confirmation hearings (for Solicitor General), several Senators attempted to elicit her opinions on particular Supreme Court holdings. Her answer?

“The Solicitor General owes important responsibilities to the Court, one of which is respect for its precedents and for the general principle of stare decisis. I do not think it would comport with this responsibility to state my own views of whether particular Supreme Court decisions were correctly decided. All of these cases are now settled law, and as such, are entitled to my respect as the nominee for Solicitor General.”

Or, in the language of non-lawyers: I’m not telling.

She’s certainly not the first person seeking Senate confirmation to avoid disclosing her personal views. To quote Gail Collins of the New York Times, “Everybody knows that the Judiciary Committee hearings on Kagan will consist of senators asking for her opinion on all the hot button issues of the day, and Kagan responding that she could not in good conscience prejudge a case that might someday come before her. And then she will add something flattering about the Constitution.” It’s ridiculous — but it’s also how the system works.

The Case For Kagan

If you can’t look to her past experiences or glean anything from her future confirmation hearings, where can you look?

“[T]he core of Kagan’s experience over the past two decades has been all about moving people of different beliefs to the position she believes is correct. Not by compromise, or caving, but by insight and strength.

Who can promise that she’s not going to authorize secret prisons and offer guns to everyone and criminalize criticism of the government? When George H.W. Bush appointed Justice David Souter, he was convinced he was solidifying the conservative legacy for decades to come. Justice Souter gave us almost two decades of service and more than fifteen years of solidly liberal, rational jurisprudence. Who can say that Kagan won’t head the other direction?

Lawrence Lessig is a brilliant legal scholar, self-identified liberal and close friend of Elena Kagan. And though the last quality might prompt one to take his arguments in support of her nomination, he makes a strong case that she is the ideal candidate to join the Court. In part he argues based on information we do not share; they have been colleagues for the past 20 years and he knows her personal philosophies in a way that we cannot. He promises that she is solidly progressive. But mostly, he argues that Kagan is the best selection from a strategic point of view.

According to Lessig:

“[T]he core of Kagan’s experience over the past two decades has been all about moving people of different beliefs to the position she believes is correct. Not by compromise, or caving, but by insight and strength. I’ve seen her flip the other side…I’ve seen her earn the respect of people who disagree with her, and not by either running to a corner to pontificate, or by caving on every important issue. Kagan can see a fight; if she can see a path through that fight, keeping her position in tact, she can execute on it. And even when a victory is obviously not in the cards, she will engage the other side boldly.”

This willingness to actively engage with those who disagree is of critical importance. You see, even after this appointment, the Supreme Court is still going to have a conservative bent. For the progressive Justices to write controlling opinions that bind federal courts across the country, they’ll have to persuade at least a few more conservative colleagues to come around to a more appropriate way of thinking. And Elena Kagan just may be the best candidate for that particular task.

What About Marriage Equality?

Obviously the Supreme Court covers a broad range of subjects. But chances are, if you’re reading this, marriage equality ranks highly on your list of issues that matter. Within the next few years, the Supreme Court will almost undoubtedly be asked to decide the constitutionality of laws that prevent same-sex couples from marrying. The Supreme Court is the final arbiter of constitutionality; when five justices decree something constitutional or unconstitutional, they are correct. As one of those potential five justices on either side, Elena Kagan’s opinions matter.

So what are her thoughts?

Turning back to the questions from the Kagan’s confirmation process for Solicitor General, it’s appears that Kagan has made her opinion clear. Senator John Cornyn asked whether she believes that there is a federal constitutional right to same-sex marriage. She replied, “There is no federal constitutional right to same-sex marriage.”

Disappointed yet? Don’t be. Her statement may appear unambiguous, but it’s not.

Lawyers are tricky and detail-oriented. In providing her answer, Kagan did not state her beliefs. She stated an incontrovertible fact. As previously mentioned, the Supreme Court is the final arbiter of constitutionality. Until five Supreme Court Justices assert that a constitutional right exists, it doesn’t. The Supreme Court has not yet held that there is a federal constitutional right to same-sex marriage; therefore, no constitutional right exists. Kagan’s assertion of the facts does not in anyway reveal her personal beliefs. This might seem counterintuitive, given the clarity of the statement, but it is consistent with her ongoing refusal to provide her personal opinions.

Much like many other issues, we don’t know her personal thoughts on marriage equality. This is likely intentional and perhaps among the many reasons she was selected. Given the current highly-polarized political climate, the confirmation process is likely to run more smoothly because Kagan does not have a significant public record of controversial beliefs. Those opposed to her nomination have limited grounds on which to build a challenge.

Few will deny that she’s incredibly intelligent and has a distinguished professional record. Hopefully this will lead to a smooth confirmation process and we’ll have a new Supreme Court Justice soon.

Is There a “Right Way” to be a Gay Activist? On Dan Choi, Obama’s Alliance & Civil Disobedience

Yesterday Lt. Dan Choi and five other veterans, including his previous co-civil disobeyer Lt. Jim Pietrangelo and blogger and Transgender Chair of DOD Fed Globe’s Board of Directors Autumn Sandeen, chained themselves to the White House fence and were subsequently arrested. Their actions were in connection with the group of protesters from GetEqual who heckled President Obama during his speech at a fundraiser for Senator Barbara Boxer, criticizing him for a lack of action towards repealing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”

There are so many issues at stake here! Are Obama and his administration allies of the queer community? What’s the best way to pressure them to effect change? And what changes should we be working for – what are our priorities? What if we have different priorities? What if we have different ideas about how to make them realities? What if everyone has a lot of really strong feelings? Luckily, Autostraddle has never been one to shy away from feelings just because they were numerous or complicated. Let the processing begin!

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Dan Choi & Gay Activists Scream So Loud

The White House Called the Police On Them

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To a certain extent, this is an escalation of the debate that began when Choi and Pietrangelo first chained themselves to government property almost exactly a month ago. At that point, it was a radical act of civil disobedience that contrasted wildly with the relatively more sedate HRC rally that was happening simultaneously. Depending on how you looked at it, it was an unapologetic demonstration of the difference between rhetoric and action or a childish upstaging of a legitimate political organization. This week’s incidents have pushed many to pick a side in that debate, to take a position on the “right” way to effect change. Was heckling the President a step too far? Or a step that was inevitable if we’re ever actually going to make serious gains towards equality?

Obama’s reaction to the GetEqual protesters in the crowd – which was necessarily unstudied and unprepared – was to call himself an ally, and ask “why you have to holler, because we already hear you.” The Obama administration has been criticized for evasive and suspiciously vague language surrounding the DADT repeal, but this seems pretty unequivocal. It’s no small thing to have a president who announces himself as an ally; it’s no small thing to be heard. He was frustrated, and understandably so – the protest had an unmistakable Joe Wilson feel, and he’s got to be wondering who’s next in line to shout at him like he’s a subpar minor league hockey player while he’s trying to run the country. Because even if no one actually yelled “You lie!”, isn’t that more or less what was being said? Obama really has committed himself to ending DADT and extended himself to our community more than any other president in American history. At this point, isn’t calling his stance into question tantamount to calling him a liar?

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Are all Obama’s promises out the window once we’re gone?

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At the same time, though, Obama’s not the only one who’s frustrated. And the frustration of watching powerful people who don’t care about you as a person quibble over your rights as a citizen might trump the irritation of demanding constituents. Immediately after the GetEqual protest (and apparently while chained to a fence? I know, we’re impressed too) Choi tweeted: “Why holler?” WHY? Your SILENCE and refusal to repeal DADT… is outrageous moral [dereliction.] Now, we are lesbians on the internet, and we know a thing or two about decoding an enraged tweet. Choi’s incredulity is clear: how could anyone not get why this is a big deal? How could anyone be asking “What’s all the fuss about?”

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Dan Choi: Living His Activist Life as an Army of One

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Choi doesn’t have a background in organizing, in agitating, in negotiation or campaigns for visibility. Choi was trained by the US military to use the tools at hand to get a job done as quickly and efficiently as possible.

I think, when we consider what kinds of political action are “appropriate,” it’s important to consider the actual real people involved. In this case, remember that Choi is not an activist in the traditional sense. Choi doesn’t have a background in organizing, in agitating, in negotiation or campaigns for visibility. Choi was trained by the US military to use the tools at hand to get a job done as quickly and efficiently as possible. And maybe more importantly than that, Choi is a victim of a grossly unfair policy that deprived him of a job he loves and a chance to help a country he’s devoted to. He and the five other veterans who chained themselves to the White House fence are hurt and angry at a government that denies their full humanity when all they wanted to do was serve it to the best of their ability. Of course he’s going to feel like he needs to “holler” at someone. Nothing else he or anyone else has done has worked, and I suspect he’s beginning to feel like he’s at the end of his rope.

Lt. Dan Choi probably isn’t trying to bring all of gay America into a new era of equality and peace by firing off angry tweets while getting arrested in our nation’s capital; he’s trying to get someone to pay attention so he can finally be treated like an actual f*cking military serviceman. It’s true that he was un-discharged a few months ago, but hundreds of others haven’t been, and it’s hard to be satisfied with what feels at best like placation and at worst an attempt to shut him up. Choi wants more than to be handed his job back with an “Oops, sorry bro, our bad”; he wants to be apologized to, he wants the indignities he’s suffered to be addressed. Really, is that an unreasonable thing to ask?

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We Said Silence to Everyone; Dan Choi Said, “I’m Still Talking”

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When I think about DADT as an actual issue, it only affects me in the most theoretical of ways – to me, it means another modicum of dignity and respect granted to me and people like me, it means one small step for gaykind towards somewhere over the rainbow. To Dan Choi and other servicemen and women discharged under DADT, it means their livelihood, it means their community, it means validation of what they do.

Comparisons to the Tea Partiers or to Joe Wilson are understandable, but perhaps ultimately unfair — their attention-grabbing campaigns aren’t based around concrete issues so much as a general resentment of the administration and of Obama personally, as well as a healthy dose of tacit racism. It’s worth asking ourselves what the difference is between just yelling at Obama and yelling about a very specific issue that’s emblematic of systematic discrimination — one that’s deeply personal for the hundreds of queers discharged every year.  Even if I personally would rather Lt. Choi had comported himself differently, I’d feel like kind of a dick lecturing him about it under the circumstances.

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Are We Fifty Years Ago?

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I really, truly don’t want to be one of those people who presents the LGBT movement for equality as “the new civil rights movement,” but I’m going to talk about this for one second because I think the lessons we can learn from the heroes of that movement are virtually infinite.

Most of the people we now understand to be the best and brightest stars of American history were vilified as violent criminals.

It’s much easier for us now to use that word, heroes, and to talk excitedly about the Black Panthers and for Shepard Fairey to make a wall mural of Angela Davis that’s bigger than my house. But at the time, most of the people we now understand to be the best and brightest stars of American history were vilified as violent criminals whose risky agitation was a liability to the movement, and even people within the movement were sometimes in great conflict on the right way to go about things. The followers of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. were diametrically opposed on the issue of nonviolent resistance to the Black Panthers, who despised James Baldwin, who disapproved of the Nation of Islam, whose one-time spokesman Malcolm X was talked about in the press as basically no better than a violent felon at large. But you know, even with wildly different ideas about the basic concepts of social change, those people managed to accomplish an incredible amount.

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Everyone We Love, We Need You Now

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I’d argue that without any one of them, we’d see a radically different (and worse) America than we have today. Cohesive movements are a beautiful thing, but they’re not always realistic. I don’t think any of us can prove the “right” way to go about making our future, because there is no one right way. There’s only the way you know, the way that calls to you.

There’s no need to panic that if we’re not all on board with the same plan, the big gay Ship of Change is going to sink. There’s never been a social movement where everyone was with the same program in the history of human society. That’s okay. Maybe it’s even good.

This means we can all relax a little and focus on our own personal acts of saving the world – whether it’s organizing a Day of Silence, spray-painting a rainbow onto your local homophobe’s car, giving money to the HRC, chaining yourself outside your ex’s house until she gives you your plaid shirt back – you know, whatever you feel is necessary to make the world safer for the gays. And we can trust that others are doing their work too, that we’re lurching forward one day at a time, that the future is bright.
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Obama’s Letting Lesbians Bring Feelings Into Other Lesbians’ Hospital Rooms

HEALTH CARE:

President Obama FTW! Obama ordered the Department of Health and Human Services to establish a rule that would prevent hospitals from denying visitation privileges to gay & lesbian partners.

“There are few moments in our lives that call for greater compassion and companionship than when a loved one is admitted to the hospital. … Yet every day, all across America, patients are denied the kindnesses and caring of a loved one at their sides.”

It’s worth mentioning that the GLBT community did an AMAZING job spreading the story of one of the cases which inspired this new policy: that of an Olympia, Washington, lesbian couple who were kept apart as one died from an aneurysm while hospitalized in Miami, Florida. The couple, Janice Langbehn and Lisa Marie Pond, had just boarded an R-Family cruise with their two children when Pond had an aneurysm. The hospital would not accept the appropriate power of attorney papers sent there and denied Langbehn visitation rights.

Pam’s House Blend has a roundup of gay blogger reactions to the piece. Pam also received an email from Janice Langbehn about the directive:

hi Pam, thank you for covering the story about President Obama calling me and signing the memo yesterday. I know we have long way to go in the LGBT movement but if the memo enlightens one health care facility so that holding someones hand as they are dying is not a GAY right but a HUMAN right – I will take it.

Unfortunately it those last precious hours with Lisa the kids and I will NEVER get back – and at least President Obama was willing to say he was sorry for how we were treated. Jackson Memorial in Miami REFUSES to apologize to the kids and I.

thanks Pam!

Politico pointed out that “the lens of the gay rights movement is, increasingly, full marriage equality, putting a limit on the credit Obama can win for incremental steps.”

Some other worries include how this will be enforced. Most likely, it will be through the threat of pulling Medicare/Medicaid benefits. According to Newsweek, that made one blogger worry that Catholic hospitals might just stop accepting Medicare and Medicaid, similar to how the Church pulled charity programs in response to DC passing a gay marriage law.

PROP 8:

But also we lost our appeal and have to surrender documents related to Proposition 8, the gay marriage ban. On Top Magazine reports that “Chief US District Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling required pro-gay marriage groups to hand over Proposition 8 campaign materials to defendants in the high-profile trial considering the ban’s constitutionality.” (@ontop mag)

SILENCE:

Today’s the National Day of Silence to raise awareness of the too-common bullying of LGBT students. (@associatedcontent)

ELANA KAGAN:

The gay rumors about possible Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan, which we talked about the other day, have started to really piss some people off, including the White House. The administration has emphatically insisted that Kagan is straight. Obvs whenever gay rumors happen and then they’re denied, people start to wonder what’s so wrong with being called gay? As Gawker puts it: Why is the White House treating lesbian rumors like allegations of vampiric necrophilia? When CBS republished a column repeating the rumor that possible Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is a lesbian, the White House responded furiously. Because lesbians are terrible?

It’s a double-edged sword. Of course, rumors should always be cleared up. Should we be attacking the White House for spreading the truth? Is it just that they’re doing it so vehemently? It’s not like they’re trying to nominate someone who doesn’t believe in gay rights.

PRIDE:

Constance McMillen will be the grand marshal of the New York City Pride parade. Fun! Autostraddle will be there, too!

Right Now Lesbians Like Caster Semenya Much More Than Barack Obama

OBAMA:
It feels like there must be an unwritten rule of journalism that we can only write pretty much the exact same story so many times (unless it’s about Lilo returning to men, obviously), but the fact of the matter is we just cannot figure out what we think about Obama, can we? Until he either gay marries two people himself or becomes a card-carrying member of Westboro Baptist, it feels like we’re just going to keep asking ourselves “Has he really done enough? Where does he stand? Or have we not given him enough time?”

David Mixner at Live From Hell’s Kitchen apparently feels similarly.

“Remember when you used to drive with your family on a long road trip that seemed to have no end? Sitting in the back seat of the station wagon you would constantly ask, “Are we there yet?” The refrain from the front seat was an unbelievable “Just be patient, we are almost there.” Neither our hearts, souls or bladders believed our parents. That is, I believe, exactly the current state of relations between the Obama administration and LGBT rights.”

It’s hard because we only have a few facts to work with — that Obama’s been in office over a year and that DADT and DOMA still exist. We have no way of really knowing what he’ll do in the future; whether he really is just stringing us along or whether he’ll smack down DADT tomorrow, and we’ll all feel sheepish for having questioned him. But Mixner brings one insight to bear in the will-he-or-won’t-he debate – he points out that even leaving DADT and DOMA aside, Obama hasn’t even passed the Domestic Partners and Benefits Acts that he promised as long ago as January 17. As he says, “this should have been a slam dunk to get passed.” Would passing a bill that allows health insurance and pension benefits to queer employees and their partners maybe have been a more effective way to reassure the gay community than opening for Lady Gaga at the HRC dinner? (@livefromhellskitchen)

Pam’s House Blend complicates the picture with their piece on the Obama administration’s reluctance on DADT — while Obama has promised to repeal the policy, his administration just fired a brief against it. (@pamshouseblend)

Queerty says that the evidence used by the DoJ for their brief is stuff they know is false: they’re relying on General Colin Powell’s stated position even though he’s since revoked it, and Palm Center director Aaron Belkin says that “they completely misrepresented my statement in the deposition. They were not being truthful about my statement because they said that I claimed that there is a rational basis for the privacy arguments, and I claimed no such thing.” (@queerty)

Maybe I’m reaching, but did watching health care reform pass feel a little bit like it’s November 4 all over again? Watching everyone around you celebrate and watching your own political issues fade into the background of public discourse? Don’t get me wrong, health care reform was good for queers too, but it’s getting a little frustrating to watch everyone else high-five over the triumph of American values while Dan Choi is over here chaining himself to the White House gates.

ROEDER:
Dr. Tiller’s murderer has been sentenced to life in prison; Salon talks about justice and what this will mean for the future of abortion and its providers. “‘Roeder spending his life in jail doesn’t stop the continuing acts of terrorism against providers and their staffs,’ continued Burkhart, who worked closely with Dr. Tiller as a grassroots organizer and clinic spokesperson and, after his death, founded of TrustWomenPAC. Indeed, Roeder apologists would have been galvanized by either sentence: the lesser justifies their cause; the maximum makes him a martyr. (@salon)

CHURCH:
This seems so crazy it should be an April Fool’s joke but it isn’t: a Vatican spokesperson has claimed that the Pope is immune from testifying in any sort of trial on pedophilia and sexual abuse in the Church “because the Vatican is a sovereign nation and Ratzinger is its head of state.” (@joemygod)

RNC:
Maybe they hoped this would fly under the radar after their “lesbian sex club” scandal? If so, no such luck. “Days after the Republican National Committee came under fire for paying for a $2,000 night on the town at a racy West Hollywood club comes news the organization sent out fund-raising fliers intended to look like U.S. Census forms with a callback number that leads to a phone sex line.” The RNC communications director has since claimed it was a typo. (@theadvocate)

SEMENYA:
Caster Semenya’s official gender test results still haven’t been released, and in the meantime the International Association of Athletics Federation is telling her she cannot compete in races. The test results should be out by June. (@queerty)

APRIL FOOL’S:
Wonkette has the scoop on hi-larious conservative media April Fool’s Day jokes. “Ha ha, April Fools, look what this wacky conservative wingtard webzine did for today’s unfunny celebration of banal hate disguised as Jokes: “[T]here will be a few changes to the site. The pictures at the top will be replaced by photos of Ghandi, MLK, Linda Chavez, Michael Steele, and hip-hop Republican Cleo E. Brown.” Coloreds, all of them! That’s insane, this is a white person’s site.” (@wonkette)

Also, this:

10 Best and 10 Worst Gay Happenings of 2009

What a year we’ve had, ladies & gentlemen! It’s time to look back on some of the most defining moments of 2009 in the U-S-of-A, which is now popularly considered one of the worst years ever. Howevs, because the gays really have nowhere to go but up, several sparkles shone upon our homosexual horizon this year. Ready? These are in no particular order, FYI. No order. Just random. Like swine flu.

#10

BEST: Dan Choi comes out on The Rachel Maddow Show (March 23)

If you were ever wondering what it would take to become America’s most beloved gay Arabic linguist (and Autostraddle’s #1 BFF forever!), this is it. Howevs, this announcement led to ….

WORST: Dan Choi gets fired (March 23)

Since Obama took office, 265 service members, including a disproportionate number of gay women, have been discharged under DADT, and one of them is our BFF Dan Choi. However we’ve  really enjoyed covering his rising activist star this year!

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BEST: Ellen and Portia voted most trusted with America’s kids (May 9) and then in November, they went on Oprah and said a bunch of adorable things.

There is a theory that Oprah actually only had them on the show so that later, backstage, she could ask them to babysit. (JK does Oprah even have kids? Probs not, maybe she needs them to babysit Dr. Phil)

Ellen’s biggest success this year, however, was on her own show, when Portia’s new sitcom Better Off Ted provided the couple with an opportunity to be totally adorable on television.

AfterEllen.com:

“The whole episode was another one of those quietly revolutionary moments. You just have to read all the gushing tweets about the interview from people across America to see how many people, gay and straight, were charmed by their appearance on the show together today. For many straight people, Ellen and Portia are the only same-sex couple they know, and that’s why this episode, and Friday’s “rehearsal” episode, will arguably do more for improving the visibility of same-sex marriage than all the Prop. 8 PSAs put together.”

WORST: Lilo & Samro, Cherry Jones & Sarah Paulson AND Rosie & Kelli call it quits

Lindsay and Sam more or less officially separated this year, which breaks all of our little bisexual hearts. If a DJ and an actress/model with substance abuse problems can’t find true love, WHO CAN? Lindsay, of course, entertained us all year long with her pining @ replies to Sam. We’re still pretty sure that they’ll get back together soon though, and we’ve had just about enough of the entire mass media trying to prove Lindsay’s going back to men.

In other breakup news, Rosie & Kelli confirmed rumors that the couple was having trouble, though we were assured that the split would have no affect on the children or their togetherness as a family. Meanwhile, Cherry Jones & Sarah Paulson quietly broke up, sans drama and @-replies.

#8

BEST: Spring Fever! Iowa (April 3) & Vermont (April 7) legalize same-sex marriage

The heartland finally got on the equality bandwagon and Vermont soon followed, becoming the first state to legalize same-sex marriage by legislative, not judicial, action. Massachusetts says WELCOME TO THE PARTY, Y’ALL.

WORST: California Supreme Court upholds Prop 8 (May 26)

What is there to say? We made clever signs and cried and tried to talk reasonably to all the crazies that we didn’t the first time, and ultimately, that still didn’t change America so that a majority couldn’t vote on the rights of a minority. Just ask Maine.

#7

BEST: Hot Fun in the Summertime! New Hampshire legalizes gay marriage (June 3)

Just a little late — Iowa and Vermont are all “Where have you been, bro?” –and New Hampshire is like, “Right here, let’s go take a bridal shower!”

WORST: NOM’s existence (all year long)

The National Organization for Marriage is pretty much everything we are against. We dream that one day we’ll wake up to find Maggie Gallagher embroiled in a tax fraud or embezzlement scandal or even better, a sex scandal. Anyhoo, here’s a parody that will make you feel better, though!

#6

BEST: Obama makes big promises to the HRC/opens for Lady Gaga (Oct. 10)

Obama spoke to the HRC the night before the National Equality March and repromised a lot of things, including ending DADT and fighting DOMA. And then Lady Gaga sang, which was obvs the best part of the night!

Also speaking of great speechmaking, Wanda Sykes became the first out lesbo to address the White House Correspondents Dinner. She did a good job!

WORST: DADT continues/Obama doesn’t deliver on campaign promises (all year long)

Despite more and more people coming out against DADT (including the American Medical Association, military higher-ups, and Obama himself), the policy still stands and continues to make gay soldiers’ lives difficult. And though Obama has backtracked from offensive statements made from his administration about gay marriage, Obama has yet to take action on DOMA.

NEXT:
Maine, the untimely death of Jennifer Schecter,
and where’s our equal rights, bitches!?!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Returns to TV, Lohan Returns to Acting Sexy

BUFFY: Logo & its parent company MTV prove they’re awesome by bringing Buffy the Vampire Slayer back onto our TV screens weekly and is kicking this off with a marathon on January 1st 2010. Now we can watch Willow & Tara fall into extra-flamey love all over again, and relive Buffy & Faith’s lesbionic sexual tension! Most importantly, BtVS addicts can force their unaware friends to watch until they become fangirls too. (@sitcomsonline)

LILO: Lindsay Lohan’s MUSE Shoot, Now in Moving Form … is actually way hotter than the photoshoot. (@nerve)

+ +

FILM: With the influx of awards season buzz, it’s become woefully clear that there’s a severe lack of actual women in film/female filmmakers. (@nytimes)

It will take more than millions of teenage girls (and their moms) squealing in delight at sparkly vampires and hairy beasties with swollen deltoids before real change will come to American movie screens. Women need to develop their own muscles.

I’m not talking about those buff babes who pop up in adolescent fantasies, licking their lips as they lock and load; I’m talking about movies made for and with women. I’m also talking about movies directed by women. Here’s a little history: Only three women have been nominated as directors by the academy in 81 years: Lina Wertmüller for “Seven Beauties” in 1976; Jane Campion for “The Piano” in 1993; and Sofia Coppola for “Lost in Translation” in 2003. None won.

When I read about Hollywood’s gender gap, it always makes think of The Bechdel Rule, which is still (unfortunately) relevant nearly 25 years later:

The Bechdel Rule (from Dykes To Watch Out For)

To be fair, it’s hard to top the super badass movie Alien. I mean, while we’re on the subject of awards, it’s ranked #45 on IMDb’s Top Movies of All Time list.

GRAMMYS: Fuckin’ A! Miley Cyrus is disqualified and Karen O gets the Grammy nomination instead. The future is bright! (@rollingstone)

VH1 COUNTDOWN: To get your awards fix even sooner, VH1’s “Top 40 of 2009” airs next Friday. Our prediction is GAGA FTW! (@vh1)

BILLBOARD: Let’s take things even further — Billboard breaks down the best of the whole DECADE. Thumbs up to Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together” taking the top spot on Hot 100… thumbs down to Creed’s Human Clay coming in at #5 of 200 Albums. (@billboard)

ALEXA CHUNG: Sadly, there will soon be one less sexy British chick on your telly. MTV has called it off with Alexa Chung. (@variety)

REALITY TV: In other brilliant MTV programming news, Jersey Shore isn’t just trashy (like we all expected), it’s also racist! Listen, just because these people self-identify as “guidos” doesn’t mean that the word isn’t offensive to the millions of Italian-Americans who can’t stomach watching them demean themselves and their heritage in the name of reality celebrity. (@ew)

BACK TO THE FUTURE: 11 Predictions That Back to the Future Part II Got Right and 11 Predictions That Back to the Future II Got Wrong. (@11points)

Wrong Prediction #8: People working out while they eat.

ADAM LAMBERT: Logo’s episode of NewNowNext PopLab hosted by our golden boy Adam Lambert is also made of win:

THE LEARNING CHANNEL: Cable TV network TLC decided to lay down the law on Jon Gosselin — while I’ve lost all respect for the “learning channel”, the good news is that it means less Jon & Kate crap! (@washingtonpost)

MICHELLE OBAMA: Barbara Walters wrapped up her Most Fascinating People list with numero uno Michelle Obama. She loves bad reality TV shows — you guys, she’s just like us! Wonder if she watches Jersey Shore… (@abcnews)

LINDSAY: A new day, another “unnamed source” Lindsay Lohan rumor. This one is kinda awesome though, ’cause OMG wouldn’t it be amazing if Ellen DeGeneres opened her loving home to Lilo? Imagine the adorbz double-dates with Sam! (@sawf)

Paltrow and Kidman Will Play House in Upcoming Movie

WEDDING BELLS: Gwyneth Paltrow and Nicole Kidman will be playing a married couple in their upcoming film, The Danish Girl. The film centers around two Danish artists who fall in love after Einar (Kidman) stands in for a female model Greta (Paltrow) is expecting to paint. In the early 1930s, Einar underwent several operations, which were eventually considered the world’s first gender reassignment surgery. I don’t know, I think these women look too much alike to make this work. (@latimes)

MARRIAGE: Marriage equality is hitting Autostraddle’s hometown, as New York Gov. David Paterson is pushing lawmakers to approve a same-sex marriage bill during a special session later today. This action would allow voters to push for final legislative approval in the Senate. Republicans, who have previously killed this measure, have been released from bloc voting by leader Dean Skelos, giving the bill an even better chance of passing in the already Democrat-led Senate. It’s still unclear whether the bill will actually get voted on today. (@ap)

DADT: A new survey of troops who served in Iraq or Afghanistan shows diminishing support for Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. “Service members said the most important factors for unit cohesion and readiness were the quality of their officers, training, and equipment,’’ said Laura Miller, a military sociologist at the RAND Corporation. “Serving with another service member who was gay or lesbian was not a significant factor that affected unit cohesion or readiness to fight.’’ Forty percent of troops surveyed supported the current policy, but that number is much lower than it used to be. (@bostonglobe)

This survey comes just a few weeks after the Joint Chiefs published a colonel’s essay on why DADT is a bad policy. It looks like the tide might actually be turning within the military, giving President Obama a golden opportunity to live up to his campaign promise to repeal it.

BOYCOTT: Speaking of campaign promises, in response to Obama’s general skirting of LGBT issues, several gay activists and liberal bloggers are organizing a boycott of the Democratic national Committee and Organize for America. The financial boycott, which has such supporters as sex advice columnist Dan Savage and Bilerico Project founder Bil Browning, is advocating for supporters to refuse to make donations to the two organizations until President Obama lives up to his promise of being a “fierce advocate” for LGBT Americans. (@atlantic)

ELLEN: Ellen and Portia were on Oprah’s show yesterday for their first interview as a married couple. Portia talks about why gay marriage is important and when she fell for Ellen. Here’s their joint interview, but be careful, your head might explode from cuteness.

GAGA: Did President Gaga lie to us for a reason? To make up for a delay in the premiere of the video for “Bad Romance,” Lady Gaga revealed the plot of the clip. ”There’s this one shot in the video where I get kidnapped by supermodels. I’m washing away my sins and they shove vodka down my throat to drug me up before they sell me off to the Russian mafia.” Make it happen, Gaga, and shine on like the craziest star in the sky. (@aceshowbiz)

Update: Gaga released the video this afternoon. Obviously, she heard our pleas because it is seriously AWESOME. Bear dress!

Maine’s Anti-Gay Marriage Win is Inspiring Other States, Scaring Us

NEW HAMPSHIRE: The Maine vote might also fuel an effort for a referendum in New Hampshire to overturn that state’s gay marriage laws. Two proposals are being drafted in the N.H. House: One would repeal the law Gov. John Lynch signed in June and re-establish civil unions; the other is a constitutional amendment that would charge voters with deciding if “the state shall only recognize the union of one man and one woman as marriage.” Seriously, if this keeps going …

Okay, I had to stop reading the article about halfway down because strange veins started appearing in my forehead. Thanks, Mainers, for ruining all of New England! No really, good job taking the refuge of same-sex marriage and turning it on its head. You’re setting an example even finer than that of our federal government. What a fantastic country we live in.

You can click on that icon there to tell Obama to act now to overturn Prop 8 and follow through on the commitments he made at the HRC Speech.

NEW STRATEGIES: Speaking of Maine, the New York Times thinks the defeat of marriage equality may make gay rights activists rethink their national strategy. You may recall last year around this time when the exact same issues were raised, and then we re-strategized, and yet we still failed, perhaps because people who don’t like us — or don’t care — still don’t like us, or still don’t care. The article is a pretty good comprehensive look at the state of the equality movement right now. There’s also this gem: But now, with Maine voters dealing a rebuke to their Legislature, it is far from clear whether elected officials — including the president — will risk political capital on gay rights. Actually, major politicians weren’t willing to risk political capital long before Maine happened, but this certainly isn’t helping. (@nytimes)

But don’t get too discouraged. This handy chart shows how much more accepting the younger generations are. I wish the future would just get here, already, before I lose my good looks and no one wants to marry me anymore. (@good)

FORTH WORTH RAID: The Fort Worth, Texas, police department suspended three officers on Thursday for misconduct that occurred during a raid on a gay bar. The suspensions were only 1-3 days, though, so that’s not exactly a lasting slap on the wrist. The misconduct was actually something about not filing paperwork properly, not for using excessive force in the raid, despite the fact that one patron ended up in the hospital with a minor brain injury. Here’s the bar owner’s take: The discipline falls far short of what should have been done to those officers,” he said. “We suspend our bar staff for overpouring longer than that.” The chief of police did apologize for the incident, and some policy changes were made as a result. (@dallasnews)

ENDA: The Senate held a hearing on ENDA yesterday, a bill that would outlaw discrimination in the workplace based on sexual orientation or gender identity. No Republicans showed up to the hearing. (@sfblade)

GLENN BECK: BUT LOOK THE ONION IS MAKING FUN OF GLENN BECK. “There is no greater tragedy than having Glenn Beck outlive your child.”

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

+

LOOK IT’S SARAH SHAHI!

+

Look at how hot Natalie Portman is!

Ann Coulter: “If Something Happens to Obama, It’s Gonna be MoveOn.org.”

ANN COULTER: Ann Coulter guested on Joy Behar’s new show [which we love btw], to say that liberals are racists and assassins and that if something “happens” to Obama, it’ll probably be at the hands of “move on dot org.” You can read all about it in her book, Guilty, which she shamelessly plugs 500 times throughout the interview. The best part is when Joy asks when we’re allowed to smack Ann. ASAP!

I swear this woman gets away with saying shit Brooke would never let me say on the internet. As a former temporary employee of Moveon.org, I take this quite personally. The only human being I could imagine injuring is  Ann Coulter, or perhaps whomever was responsible for throwing thousands of Moveon buttons into the backroom of a Cincinnati Post Office, inciting worldwide anger from liberals demanding immediate arrival of their free buttons, lest they vote for McCain instead.

Here is my question for you, dear reader: What does Ann Coulter do at home alone at night? Does she sing in the shower? Does she like musical theater? How does she wind down before bed? What does she laugh about with her friends? Does she have friends? Does she cackle? I am fascinated by people like this. I want to know what they do when they’re just being people. Have you noticed I’ve been rambling aimlessly in daily fixes for a few days now? Do you ever accidentally type “google.om”?

BATTLE OF THE SEXES: Are men smarter than women? Trivial Pursuit wants to find out who’s smarter; girls or boys? To do this, they’re setting up a online trivia game where anyone can log in and give it a shot. This actually makes no sense at all. Though they go into great detail explaining why it’s a waste of time to play for the other team and answer incorrectly in order to tip the balance, they don’t mention what a loss you’d be to sociology if you just, you know, had a friend on wikipedia answering for you.

“The experiment will finish on December 9 when the question of who is the smartest sex will be finally answered once and for all.”

Problems with that statement include but are not limited to: “The question of who is the smartest sex” isn’t exactly pressing at this time, your online game of Trivial Pursuit isn’t going to answer that question, anyhow. Is this legal? Can we say that Autostraddle will answer the eternal question of why headphones only last two weeks and then make a ton of money? Then we can buy expensive headphones omg can you tell that it’s Friday!!!??!

YOUTUBED: YouTube Gays Killed the MTV Star? “From Britney to Whitney, Miley to Shakira, when a pop star puts out a new hit, the gays film a video tribute. Beginning with Shane Mercado’s take on Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies,” a new kind of star was born.”

HEALTHCARE: Framing Health Care Debate As Battle Of Sexes –  “A recent study by the National Women’s Law Center found that 25-year-old women have been charged up to 84 percent more than their male contemporaries for individual health plans — plans that specifically exclude maternity coverage.”

LAW & ORDER: Law & Order will be airing an episode based on abortion practitioner George Tiller’s murder. It better be better than the Hipster Grifter ep.

Obama’s ‘Small Victories’ for LGBTs This Week: Is It Change We Can Believe In?

FIERCE ADVOCATE OBAMA: A small step for the LGBT Community, but a giant step for The Obama Adminstration’s reputation amongst the gays … or … not? Firstly, if you ever doubted the public perception of Obama’s opinions about us (as discussed last week, many voracious consumers of gay-targeted media don’t realize that Mainstream America saw that speech and fully believed Obama was totally on board with the Gay Agenda), a large majority (72%) of a U.S. News and World Report survey group said they believe Obama secretly supports gay marriage.

Tuesday saw two “small victories” for the gay rights community, one from the department of Housing and Urban Development and another from Health and Human Services:

Obama Administration’s Gay Outreach Continues: Health and Human Services will establish the nation’s first national resource center for the support of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender senior citizens. The move is designed to help community groups support the estimated 1.5 to 4 million LGBT seniors.

[On a related note, Equality California Institute’s California LGBT Health and Human Services Network has just been awarded a two-year $444,000 grant from the California Department of Mental Health will look at the harm caused by discrimination and identify the best ways to prevent and treat mental health issues in the LGBT community, including high rates of depression, substance abuse and suicide.]  [THAT’S RIGHT I ACTUALLY READ MY DAILY GEOFF KORS EMAIL TODAY HIII YAH!]

Obama Administratio’s HUD Policies Would Ban Discrimination Based on Gender Identity: The National Center for Transgender Equality praises the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) for its announcement today that it will ensure that its programs are available to all, including LGBT people. Today’s announcement is historic, since HUD is the first federal agency so far to officially propose guidelines that would explicitly address discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

Furthermore, The Senate is ready to approve The Matthew Shepard Act, a gay-inclusive hate crimes bill. The bill is tucked inside a defense bill, which annoyed Republicans, which is not surprising, because Republicans are often annoyed, because they are douchebags, and that can’t feel good inside.

So what do you think? Is this encouraging news, or just more of the same?

DAN CHOI: Daniel’s Choice: Amazing interview with our BFF Dan Choi at Metro Weekly. He talks about his upbringing in a Korean-American family with a Southern Baptist preacher father, his expectations entering the military, when he knew he was gay and how he is coping with his new position. Highlights include:

“I never expected to be an activist. I think it was a little bit scary to see that as the title below my name on the TV screen.”

On the reactions of the gay activist community: “I know a lot about initiations and traditions that people have to sort of pay your dues — in the military, there are procedures and protocols. You gain rank …  I wouldn’t go to the point of saying that I don’t deserve to be in this role, but they say, ”You sort of came out of nowhere.”

A soldier’s reaction to Dan Choi “talking about gay shit on TV”: ‘[He told me] ”That’s awesome shit. You need to get glamour shots and make-up and maybe you should get a cosmetologist….” I was like, you just stop right there because I have no idea what you’re talking about. That’s way too gay, how do you know all this stuff?

GAY MARRIAGE: Maine is running out of absentee ballots because all the gays are super busy and can’t vote on election day. And Governor Patterson is expected to introduce same-sex marriage legislation tonight.

LGBTQ Community Divided, Not United, by Obama’s Speech to the HRC

Let me confess; I’m a believer. I’m a dreamer. I imagine all the people living life in peace, and for about five minutes following Obama’s speech to the HRC last week, I believed that we would. But in the days following, compelling arguments have been made on both sides. But that’s just it — people are taking sides now. Are you an Obama believer or a critic? Do you think he’s pandering to the fancy HRC so he can take our money and run, or do you think it’s meaningful that he even offered WORDS, considering the political climate of the health care debate?

Personally, I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m critical for the same reasons the critics are: inaction on DADT, too many empty promises. We can’t say “Wait” and “now is not the time” forever, we have to fight. We need radical voices to enable moderate voices.

But on the other hand, observing straight America’s reaction to last weekend’s events has hammered home an inconvenient truth: for as long as gay rights have no direct impact on the lives of heterosexuals, we must pay attention to how often The Majority hears our demands as impatient whining. To many who don’t feel personally affected by the content of Obama’s speech, the speech sounded good enough. He did, after all, acknowledge that things are not moving as quickly as we’d like. We do know this, though: we need straight votes to win our rights and I believe we can best impact change at the ground level with other voters.

“Even for the most empathetic, liberal, passionate activists I know, our marriage rights do not, in any way, directly affect their lives. But they’re as involved as they can be, because they know us and they know what’s right. Unfortunately this is the exception, not the rule.”

Last week I attended my best friend’s wedding and my girlfriend & I were delighted to hear “I vow to keep fighting for equality so that all our friends can get married,” in the marriage vows of both bride and groom, and we felt similarly warmed by cards on every dinner table reading; “We’ve given a gift on behalf of the guests of this wedding to the Marriage Equality Campaign in Maine. We got married today, but many of our friends and loved ones are still not able to do the same. That has to change.”

In a few weeks, my other best friend’s fiancee will be moving here from overseas. When he arrives, he’ll be able to obtain citizenship via their relationship. Were they a same-sex couple, this wouldn’t be possible and they’d probably just have to break up.

Both of these friends identify as “label-free” and are the most bleeding heart liberals I know; Natalie works for a Women’s Rights NGO and writes for Autostraddle, Krista’s husband runs Moveon.org and Krista herself is literally the most politically passionate person I know; even when underemployed she donated regularly to Planned Parenthood, the HRC, and about 100 other orgs that flooded our shared mailbox with free address labels.

But they’re able to take advantage of their rights anyhow — as they should. Our biggest supporters are getting married, and we can’t. The wedding itself was a reminder that their activism is a choice, and ours is not. Even for the most empathetic, liberal, passionate activists I know, our marriage rights do not, in any way, directly affect their lives. But they’re as involved as they can be, because they know us and they know what’s right. Unfortunately this is the exception, not the rule.

Straight support of our causes is key to our success, but for a movement that continually stresses our non-impact on our fellow citizens — as Keith Olberman so powerfully asked those who voted Yes on 8, Why does this matter to you, what is it to you? — it’s not surprising that much of mainstream America hears our demands as irrelevant whining.

Because it is nothing to them. The other side has strategically unfurled a Pandora’s Box of potential viruses same-sex marriage will unleash upon schools & churches — in fact, their public campaigns rarely address their true motivations (money, fear, religious bureaucracy)  — but we haven’t done much on our side to display a treasure chest of potential charms same-sex marriage will offer our schools, churches, economy, national spirit and society. We need to make gay marriage, DADT, hate crimes laws and employee discrimination matter to straight people.

So where do we stand? Do we think Obama is full of shit? Maybe. We’re still split and I think we’ll be better able to judge in a few weeks. He hasn’t had a chance to follow through on the promises he made Friday night — the first he’s made while in office, which is different than campaign promises – ’cause he just made them! [It’s like when your Mom wants you to mow the lawn by the end of the weekend and on Saturday starts nagging you about it, and you’re like, hello, I’m doing it Sunday!]

But we lean towards the “grassroots is where it’s at” side.  We think it’s more effective for us to convince our fellow citizens that change must come so they’ll all donate to Prop 1 when they get married, too, and march with us. Obama doesn’t read our blogs, but our parents and our classmates and co-workers CAN.

So, in lieu of the typical round-up of gay media reactions to news stories, I’m gonna tell you what the mainstream media thought of last weekend so you can prepare to change people personally.

The Detroit Free Press: “With two wars, health care and the economy crowding his plate, you’d think President Barack Obama would have no room for another entrée-sized issue. In his Saturday speech to the Human Rights Campaign, the president added gay rights initiatives to his near-term agenda.”

Huffington Post’s Adele Stan: “After Obama spoke, activists focused on what they did not hear. The rest of it sounded old to them. To me, it sounded remarkably new.”

Atlanta Journal-Constitution: Obama Deserves More Time on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: “But let me say a difficult thing: Obama is right too.”

Former (Gay) US Ambassador Jim Hormel: I am as eager as anyone else to have action on the various pieces of legislation — some of which are a generation old — like ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act). ENDA has been in the Senate for a literal generation. So when I exercise any restraint whatsoever — it’s out of knowledge and awareness of the atmosphere under which the president is operating.”

The Nation: Gay Activists Split on Obama.

John Harwood: “Barack Obama is doing well with 90 precent or more of Democrats so the White House views this opposition as really part of the Internet left fringe.”

National Review Online: [it’s by Maggie Gallagher, so click at your own risk] “Pity President Obama. He’s done more, more quickly, for gay people than any president in history but it’s clearly not enough.”

New York Times: “President Obama Saturday renewed his vow to allow gay men and lesbians to serve openly in the military, but failed to offer a timetable for doing so — an omission likely to inflame critics who say he is not fighting aggressively enough for gay rights.

In related news:

SOLMONESE: Joe Solmonese just keeps saying things. Like this, which is his response to a question about why diversity in the HRC: But I think that… perhaps the crowd at the dinner last night was a little bit more politically aware and had a better sense of maybe, you know, what’s at stake and what needs to be done. Way to sidestep a really important issue while simultaneously slighting everyone who couldn’t afford to be at Saturday night’s dinner. (@huffpo)

LIEBERMAN: Obama is actually talking to people on the Hill about repealing DADT. The Advocate is reporting that the administration is in direct talks with Joe Lieberman and is working to “introduce Senate legislation with bipartisan support.” (@advocate)

Obama Pretty-Promises He’ll End DADT & Lady Gaga Sings For Her HRC Supper

PRESIDENTIAL PROMISES: President Obama spoke at the HRC dinner in Washington last night. If you didn’t catch it on CNN, go watch it here!

Obama opened with, “it is a privilege to be here tonight to open for Lady Gaga,” which instantly caused our hearts to grow two sizes and our faces to LOL.  The speech was kind and touched on topics including AIDS, hate crimes, the rights of families, and, most importantly:

+ “I have called on Congress to repeal the so-called Defense of Marriage Act, and to pass the Domestic Partners Benefit and Obligations Act.”
+ “I will end ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ That is my commitment to you.”

Over at Queerty and the New York Times, it’s very noticed that he gave no timetable for doing so. Here at Autostraddle, we are just gonna feel happy & warm right now that he stood up there and said he was gonna do this stuff. Obvs this means we get to sleep in tomorrow and don’t have to march right? ‘Cause Intern Katrina just took off her pants.

Here’s the first 10 minutes of the speech:

Yes, actions speak louder than words, but the fact that Obama is still talking about these issues means he hasn’t forgotten them. All we can do is wait and see if he delivers. In the meantime, keep fighting the battle for equality on the local and state levels.

Also Lady Gaga performed and was super respectable about the whole thing b/c of her incredible honor for the gays. Here’s a video interview with OurScene TV:

Michael Moore, who is usually quite angry, makes some good points in The Huffington Post about how we ought to consider dealing with O’Bawms:

All I ask of those who voted for Obama is to not pile on him too quickly. Yes, make your voice heard (his phone number is 202-456-1414). But don’t abandon the best hope we’ve had in our lifetime for change. And for God’s sake, don’t head to bummerville if he says or does something we don’t like. Do you ever see Republicans behave that way? I mean, the Right had 20 years of Republican presidents and they still couldn’t get prayer in the public schools, or outlaw abortion, or initiate a flat tax or put our Social Security into the stock market. They did a lot of damage, no doubt about that, but on the key issues that the Christian Right fought for, they came up nearly empty handed.

NEM: JK! Today is the National Equality March, and Autostraddle is in D.C. ready to do our part! If you aren’t in Washington, follow the action on CSPAN from 2 to 5 p.m. EST. You can also stay updated by checking the Equality Across America blog or by searching for #NEM on Twitter. (@equalityacrossamerica)

Bonus: it’s is also National Coming Out Day! Go tell someone you’re queer. Really, just anyone.

Lady Gaga & the Glee Cast at the HRC Dinner

PASSING JUDGMENT: Joe Solmonese has suggested that we not judge Obama on gay stuff until the end of his (hypothetical) second term in 2017, and AmericaBlog Gay is pissed about it, BECAUSE THAT IS TOTALLY SKETCHY. “Maybe somebody should ask the 6,000 gay and lesbian service members, discharged between now and 2017, how they feel about that. Maybe we should ask Dan Choi. And Victor Fehrenbach.” (@americablog @queerty)

Oh AND Gay-inclusive Hate Crimes legislation easily passes House of Representatives!

16 Angry Women Attempt to Protest the World’s Biggest Douche. Or, The Anti-Tucker Max Story, “I Hope They Serve Subpoenas in Hell.” (@thevillagevoice)

SWEDEN FTW: A Swedish committee has reprimanded Toys “R” Us for gender discrimination following a complaint filed by a group of sixth-graders! (@thelocal)

JUDGE JUDY: Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy vs. John Gosselin. (@jezebel)

GOSSIP GIRL: Blake Lively is gonna be in a lesbian bondage movie! We thought we’d end this on a decidedly positive note. (@current)

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize, Our Money Was on Lady Gaga

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE: Even Obama was taken by surprise when the Nobel Committee announced this morning that the president had won the peace prize. The award was given in part because of Obama’s “effort to reduce the world’s nuclear arsenal.” It seems more like this is some sort of gold star to congratulate Obama on not being George Bush. (@nytimes)

ENDLESS DEBATES: “Obama Is Gays’ Best Friend — To Say Otherwise is Shortsighted, Insulting and Just Plain Dumb“ Earl Ofari Hutchinson, a Huffington Post writer, argues “African-Americans languished at the absolute bottom of America’s political, economic and social scale, and that blacks as no other group in the nation were subjected to decades of slavery, Jim Crow segregation and massive and relentless terror and violence based solely on their skin color. No other group in America has faced that monstrous obstacle.” I’m glad we’ve moved past comparing the gay community with the black civil rights movement, because there are no similarities at all. Just clearing that up. (@huffpo)

DADT: Lesbians Suffer More Under DADT. For more information on this topic check out our interview with Skyler James, a soldier who was denied her expected DADT discharge after being outed by a comrade and suffered incredible homophobic persecution afterward.

CAPITOL IDEA: So Tuesday, a bill was passed in Washington, D.C., to legalize gay marriage. (woohoo and such!) Tim Craig of the Washington Post answers all the questions you’d ever have about the bill. (@wapo)

CAREFUL WORD CHOICE: New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine is talking up gay marriage. “I want to be very clear on this,” Corzine said. “I don’t call it gay marriage. I call it marriage equality because I believe that we ought to be treating people under our Constitution here in the state of New Jersey as determined by our courts. There needs to be equal treatment under the law.” (@ontop)

WHAT’S SHE SMOKING: Sen. Gillibrand thinks Obama will back her fight to repeal DADT. Queerty disagrees. “But we’re also reaching this conclusion based on past evidence. Just last month Gillibrand’s colleague Sen. Harry Reid made a direct appeal to Obama, and the Pentagon, to instruct lawmakers on what to do about DADT. And what was that request met with? A message from the Defense Department reiterating the “Obama is too busy” mantra.” Bonus: Rachel Maddow video after the cut. (@queerty)

HATE CRIMES: House votes to expand hate crimes to include sexual orientation “Said Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) in a statement: “This measure is long overdue and I am pleased that Congress has voted to do what’s right. Martin Luther King, Jr. often said that ‘the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.’ We see that beautifully illustrated here today.” (@towleroad)

GAY DISNEY: Hollywood has it’s first out studio chief, Disney’s Rich Ross. Disney has long been a gay-friendly company, so it’s no surprise that they are the first major studio to be headed by an out gay man. The LA Times also links to a nice profile on Ross from a year ago where he talks about his job and his partner of more than 20 years. (@latimes)

“You stupid fags think Obama gives a darn about you? No, he hates you.”

THE DINNER PARTY: There are so many people we’ll get to maybe see or be close to this weekend at the National Equality March — President Obama, Lady Gaga, each other — that the Westboro Baptist Church is really the icing on the cake. Albeit icing culled from the blood of unborn pterodactyl babies:

You stupid fags think Obama gives a darn about you? No, he hates you. He is going to use your money and your resources and then when he shows himself for what he is, he will merely destroy you along with the rest of this nation of self-loathing hypocrites.

As Gawker points out, although the tone and intent is totally different, the message is quite similar to what Andrew Sullivan (our token gay republican pundit) is saying over at The Atlantic:

“There is nothing Obama can say at this self-satisfied, well-heeled Rotary Club dinner that he hasn’t said before. And the idea that simply showing up is something we should all be ecstatic over and grateful for is another sign of the low self-esteem and lack of self-respect [among HRC leaders].”

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HEALTH CARE AND HOW MUCH THAT WOULD HELP THE GAY PEOPLE INSTEAD OF YELLING AT OBAMA ABOUT GIVING A SPEECH TO JOE “I WANT TO EMAIL YOU EVERY F*CKING DAY” SOLOMNESE?

Anyhow! Politico wonders if it’s “more than just a show.” Yeah, so do we. I mean, Lady Gaga is gonna be there. She puts on quite a show though, so.

Oh have you seen this yet?… I know Slicey is going to yell at me, but wtf Log Cabin Republicans with this “PSA.” This is very preemptively manipulative. You can’t act like that unless it’s a reaction to the event you are criticizing, not a conjecture of a human being’s future actions:

GAY IN IRAQ: Meanwhile in Iraq, since February “a wave of gay hysteria” has hit the country, and Sunni and Shia forces have wound down their aggression towards each other and towards Americans and redirected it upon homosexuals as “agents of moral enforcement.” New York Magazine’s story opens with a story of “sexual deviants” who had their rectums glued shut and were force-fed laxatives and water until their insides exploded: THE HUNTED: From Baghdad — frightening reports of gay pogroms, where homosexual men are targeted, tortured, slayed. From new York — a scurry to find those same men before they are killed, and shepherd them to safety.

DADT: Anderson Cooper tries really, really, really hard to get Elaine Donnelly to make a good point against the repeal of DADT. MEANWHILE MY EARS ARE BLEEDING. Dan Choi is my favorite star of YouTube, BTW. I’m gonna stop this daily fix here so you can watch this video.

“You can go to senior citizens centers and collect all the signatures you want!”
-Dan Choi

JK: Okay one more thing, Mary Cheney’s having another baby.

JK ONE MORE THING! Haviland’s new column at California NOW! – The Saints Go Marching In: National Equality March in DC, This Weekend.

Look These Anti-Obama Loonies in the Eye and Tell Me Obama Could Possibly Find Gay Marriage Attractive

TIME OUT: New York Magazine‘s cover story, Who Is Barack Obama, and why do people say such loopy, ugly things about him?, ostensibly has nothing to do with gay marriage. But it does look at, head-on (directly on the forehead obvs), the incredible lunacy of the lunatics. The birthers, the teabaggers, the Glenn Beck followers … Obama’s already received 400 times more death threats than George W. Bush (that’s an actual number). A frightening fringe still truly believes, erroneously, that this country’s root is The Bible. And by “The Bible” they mean “our screwed-up interpretation of the bible.” And here we are, being impatient with him for not acting on same-sex marriage yet. Now is not the time.

Look at these people and ask yourself what would happen to health care or education intiatives if Obama woke up tomorrow and repealed DOMA:

We have to keep wanting and working locally within our states. But perhaps it’s time we face the unfortunate reality: there’s a ton of insane Palinist humans who refuse to listen to anything/anyone besides their own crabby, manic pundits. The editor of factcheck.org, in response to the birther movement:  “A video of Obama being born in Honolulu with Don Ho playing ukulele in the background would not dispel a thing with these people.” Similarly, Obama can repeat “Death Panels aren’t real” 500 times, they don’t care.

Thus here we are, without our gay marriage rights. The thing is; if you’re one of the ten bazillion uninsured unmarried American Homos, universal health care could fix a few of our ‘separate & unequal’ issues. So let’s see how that goes. Let’s hope for action on DADT sooner rather than later. And as we always say things will get better. They might not, but either way the best thing to do is just make out and wait for the next joke.

EDUCATION REFORM:What’s wrong with our schools? [T]he rest of the world has become so much more complex. Knowledge alone is not enough. Children know this. They hunger for active involvement in the learning process. Even though the teachers do not intend this to happen, the passivity of their methods causes students to turn away from commitment to the classroom. (@huffpo)

MARRIAGE EQUALITY IN MAINE: Stand for Marriage Maine, one of the groups rallying against gay marriage, is knowingly providing misinformation in their newest ad campaign. Those who made the commercial said the line in the advertisement is not meant to be taken literally. Instead, it’s meant to imply that, in their opinion, if schools currently teach about family life and marriage, discussions about same-sex marriage would likely be included. (@wmtw)

HILLARY CLINTON: How Hillary can serve women now. In addition to calling for the recognition of the important role of women in the prevention and resolution of conflict, the resolution asks for action against the use of rape as a tactic of war. It calls for the special protection of women and girls and notes, for the first time, that rape can constitute a war crime, a crime against humanity, or even a constituent act with respect to genocide. (@dailybeast)

THE RIGHT WING: GOPers can be swayed on gay marriage A powerful and well-produced commercial can make even hardwired Republicans more sympathetic to the cause of marriage equality, according to a new study.

When Hollywood & Late-Night TV Tackle Health Care, “Funny, or Die?” Becomes an Actual Question

FUNNY OR DIE, srsly: People are spreading lies about health insurance. Olivia Wilde is spreading her hotness. It’s all in this video from “Funny or Die.” That’s right, the title “Funny or Die” finally makes sense.  If the Right-Wing Extremists ever click out of FoxNews.com, maybe they’ll see this video, remember how much they liked Anchorman and Old School, and stop it with the nonsense.

OBAMA: Of course it would be even better if they checked out David Letterman’s show, where Obama last night also attempted to parlay the Power of the Media into a victory for healthcare. President Obama made an appearance on Letterman last night and was really cute, and super funny, making jokes about his race and being on Letterman. If you caught the full interview on TV last night, you also saw that he told everyone about the Health Care plan again and how it makes a lot of sense.

Anyone who’s attempted to win an argument with a crazy person (e.g., an ex-girlfriend) by repeating the same logical information over and over again knows how this man must feel, and probably also knows that logic really isn’t the problem in this debate — Crazy is. In the game of rock-paper-scissors, crazy has an advantage. (@cbs)

TWO LITTLE GIRLS GROWING OUT OF THEIR TRAINING BRAS: Will Ani DiFranco be the one to bridge the gay generation gap? Perhaps. With 17 albums and counting, Ani’s drawing a younger audience to her shows in addition to her original fans. (@suburban chicago news)

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE: The quirky low-budget comedy film “Little Miss Sunshine” and the 1989 Laura Esquivel novel “Like Water for Chocolate” are this year’s choices to be adapted as stage musicals at the annual Sundance Institute Theatre Lab at White Oak in Yulee, Fla.” (@la times)

Also, obviously … Carlytron’s Tuesday Televisionary is live with Glee, Top Chef, Gossip Girl’s hair disaster, secret gay plotlines on The Office and Parks & Recreation … and the Emmys!

Lesbian Music Prodigy Helen Goddard Jailed for Teacher-Student Affair, Using “Fuzzy Handcuffs”

LESBIAN AFFAIR: Another lesbian teacher scandal, this time in London, though this case seems a bit more Allegedly Michael Jackson than Mary Kay Letourneau — The Daily News reports that Hellen Goddard, “a prep schoolteacher known as the “Jazz Lady” is facing the music“ and getting a 15-month jail sentence for having a lesbian affair with a 15-year-old student. The student admits that she “instigated” the relationship and felt “guilty” about Goddard’s legal situation. Goddard, “a child prodigy who performed at the opening ceremony at the 2000 Olympics in Sydney admitted to six sample counts of sexual activity with the student between February and July.” When searching her home the team found “various sex toys, including vibrators and “fluffy handcuffs.”

The BBC reports that “The judge, who was told the girl and the teacher were genuinely in love, did not uphold the prosecution’s request for a sexual offences prevention order as it would be “draconian and unnecessarily cruel” to the girl as well.” The judge also said he was going to rule “gender-blind” on this one. Well … she’s 15. That’s a pretty clear-cut “go directly to jail” moment, though possibly less so to a child prodigy who probably remembered being taken pretty seriously at that age.

LESBIAN MOM WINS: A three-judge panel of the Tennessee Court of Appeals has unanimously ordered a trial court to reconsider a ban preventing a divorced mom from having her partner of 10 years and her own children stay overnight at her home at the same time. In layman’s terms — the Dad said the kids shouldn’t be around his ex’s immoral lesbian relationship, and the court said that’s really f*cking stupid.

OBAMA: Obama Tells NY Gov. Paterson to Stay Out of 2010 Election: “Paterson has been very popular with the LGBT community thanks to his unwavering support for marriage equality, but his statewide approval ratings have barely been in the double-digits for the last year.” (@joemygod)

PRIDE:  Pride Parade in Serbia Cancelled:“Organisers and the government had feared a repeat of 2001, when Belgrade’s first-ever gay pride parade was abandoned halfway through due to mass violence.” (@abcnews)

Obama: “Time for Bickering is Over.” In Related News Ellen DeGeneres Replaces Hey Paula as American Idol Judge

We kick off our first ever “issue” (you know, like a magazine!) with Autostraddle’s Fall Preview ’09! Got started yesterday with theBig Gay Fall TV Preview, which offers you lots of LOLs and our roundtable-esque witty banter on The Wednesday Night Gay Conspiracy, V, Flash Forward, Glee, Modern Family, Community, Bored to Death, Spartacus, Stargate Universe, Three Rivers, The Beautiful Life, Melrose Place … and so much more!

This just in: Alex has created for your viewing pleasure our first ever Terrible/Awesome Forecast Grid – the Fall Preview Edition!

We’ll have a guide to the Fall Preview for you to navigate the whole issue seamlessly later in the week!

Last night we live-blogged Glee (and the presidential address a little) and played the Glee Drinking Game!

Yesterdays Daily Fix: in which Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page show each other some love in Marie Claire mag: Universal Health Care, Universal Glee, Universal Makeovers for Female Athletes and more.

If you haven’t read it yet: Autostraddle’s Natalie interviews Knights Out member Lissa Young, a 1986 West Point graduate and current Harvard grad student and 2002 Don’t Ask Don’t Tell discharge: DADT Discharge Lissa Young: The Autostraddle Interview.

This week’s Tuesday Televisionary: We lose Vogue Evolution on America’s Best Dance Crew, Weeds ends with a nosedive, and Top Chef can’t win with pasta salad.

+ Top Stories

OBAMA: Obama’s speech about health care was awesome. It’s cool to have a president who consistently manages to defiy expectation. As did the Republicans, with their hearty asshattery, expressed via unruly discourse via Wilson from South Carolina. He has since apologized, but who cares, let’s impeach him. We kinda live-blogged The Obama Show AND Glee last night.

ELLEN: Lesbian takeover! Ellen DeGeneres will replace Paula Abdul as the fourth judge on “American Idol.” Hopefully she’ll bring more Adam Lambert, and do funny stuff like she did on her show today breaking up a big Real Housewives of Atlanta. (@people)

ELLEN PAGE & DREW BARRYMORE: If you missed it in yesterday’s daily fix, Ellen Page & Drew Barrymore kissed in Marie Claire and the whole world changed! The article is even better, openeing with “Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page can’t keep their hands off each other, followed with lots of gushing about each other’s sexy bodies. Howevs, though Drew is known as “bi,” the evidence is a bit hard to pin down. She’s said to New Woman Magazine, “when I was younger I used to go out with a lot of women but I don’t think I could ever just solely be with a woman … it’s just not enough for me.” In ’95, rumors about her leaving her boyfriend for Jen Pratt were denied, as were rumors in ’01 that the divorce from Tom Green was partially due to him being over her lesbian flings, and in ’02 US Weekly, the most reliable news source ever, reported,  “Newly single actress Drew Barrymore has shown the world she’s over her split by passionately kissing a pair of women at a Los Angeles nightspot,” (and much more!) The kiss photo rocked our tumblr, and we love roller derby even more than before.

Also in Marie Claire right now? Do Nudie pics of Chicks Turn You On? Just saying.

IPOD: The lowdown on the 2009 iPod lineup.  Nano that shoots video! 3rd generation iPod Touch!  iTunes is now a DJ! (mashable) (more…)

Universal Health Care, Universal Glee, Universal Makeovers For Female Athletes! : Daily Fix

Today: Honestly there are so many things that are going to happen today on Autostraddle we don’t even know where to begin!
Well, let’s start with this just in: Autostraddle’s Big Gay Fall TV Preview (and it’s EPIC.) Get ready to LOL!

Pink is big in the U.S.A., but in Australia, she’s motherf*cking EPIC. Crystal & photographer Stef Mitchell checked out her Funhouse Tour: Pink’s “Funhouse: The Tour” Makes 58 Sold-Out Dates in Australia – The Autostraddle Concert Report!

GET EXCITED: Glee is premiering tonight at 9pm EST and we’ve created a drinking game for y’all and we will be live-blogging it, obviously.

Yesterday: Daily Fixness – Angelina Jolie’s ‘Gia’ uncensored, Melrose Place wants more lesbian action, Washington H8ers want lesbian rights redaction.

We have your Tuesday Televisionary: We lose Vogue Evolution on America’s Best Dance Crew, Weeds ends with a nosedive, and Top Chef can’t win with pasta salad.

The Day Before Yesterday: Autostraddle’s Natalie interviews Knights Out member Lissa Young, a 1986 West Point graduate and current Harvard grad student and 2002 Don’t Ask Don’t Tell discharge: DADT Discharge Lissa Young: The Autostraddle Interview.

+ Top Stories

PRIME-TIME HEALTH CARE: The New York Times’ Caucus Blog evaluates the early word on Prime Time Health Care and what we can expect tonight. MSNBC offers a look at Obama’s three audiences for tonight’s Health Care speech. Also, some MTV numbskull emailed me a video of the most annoying human on earth, Zach Braff (who Natalie has a misguided crush on) for Yes We Demand Health Care. Despite my personal aversion towards Mr. Braff, the cause is ace. We talked about it last week! Also if you missed it, Obama Indoctrinated the Schoolchildren yesterday, and the Wall Street Journal thinks the parents should get a speech too. (Probs not the gay parents, they don’t exist and are corrupting the sandbox.) (In the Texas school district that declined to show the Obama speech, they’ll be shipping their kids to a football stadium to hear the stupidest president of all time, George W. Bush, string words into ‘sentences.’)

GLEE FEVER: Before tonight’s premiere of GLEE, which will be live-blogged on Autostraddle as we have been lead to believe it is THE GREATEST EVENT TO EVER HAPPEN ON TELEVISION SINCE (the health care speech is clearly more important, but potentially more depressing if it doesn’t work out, and there will be no singing and dancing), a heartwarming homosexual tale of Chris Colfer’s journey from small town to GLEE: “My dad would look at me and go, ‘What the hell? I don’t know who you are. How did you come out of me?’ He would say things like that,” Murphy said. He may not have understood his son, but he accepted him, even when Murphy revealed to him that he is gay when he was 15 years old. (@latimes)

GENDER MAKEOVER: How Not to Solve a Gender Dispute: “What could make the convoluted saga of Caster Semenya’s disputed gender even more public and upsetting? How about a makeover?”(@jezebel)

I actually think I have a bone to pick with every single headline on this magazine cover, starting with a blogger living the high life …

(more…)